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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 5 years

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Whatever Keeps You Up At Night

Boy, this fic has been one I've been picking at for months. And while it's not perfect, I think I'm going to go ahead and post it cause I feel pretty good about it. There's a few song, movie, and poem references. I'll be surprised if someone gets them all.

In this fic the reader thinks about sleep

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Clouds drifted across inky skies. Your central heat was cranked up just enough to leave you defrosted, but not any higher in fear it could fail. You thought of getting something to drink, but you didn't want to leave the warmth and comfort of your bed. Winter wasn't your favorite season, but it reminded you of him.

Oh, if you would've been in his home, there certainly would've been more sound. It wouldn't have necessarily come from the house itself, but from him; his breathing, footsteps, or the light whistle of his teeth which covered up his snoring; its sound feeding the springtime in your heart. If you had gone over when he was ready to go to bed, he would've stayed up and entertained you. Yet, none of that could've taken place if he wasn't home. So, you weren't in his home, you were in yours.

In the sharp corners where shadows laid, you dared not step until it was noon. In the daytime, though mostly in the evening was the draft which never went away and gave you a chill; causing you to wrap your duvet closer. It smelled like Ricks detergent, and you were surrounded by the night. You weren't a stranger to its lonesome ways, nor were you acquainted with it, but you existed in it; willing yourself to be anything other than awake. Try as you may, tonight's sleep might not come so readily, because you already begun to think about him and dearly wished he was home; on earth; in this dimension; anywhere close if he could help it; except for right now where it could not be helped that he was on assignment and that you had to be without him much longer then you wished, but you would wait as well as go on because you did have a life; albeit a little bland without him.

At night, while part of the world was quieting down, other parts were waking up and heading off to work; you could do either; so could he. Sometimes you would work through the night, especially when you had an idea itching to be written, but most often you would sleep; or at least try to sleep with hopes of having sweet dreams; at times your dissociated thoughts having found their way back to you. You had never been much of a dreamer, and you rarely liked to dream; you never felt rested enough in the morning after, but at times it was nice; more so if Rick was in them. Thoughts of how he was doing kept you up at times - as it was doing now - and you could only wonder where in the universe he currently was, but you'd almost forget about it if anxious thoughts took over, and problems you hadn't solved reappeared. Sometimes thoughts of the past intermingled with your dreams; as pleasant or heartbreaking as they could be.

Tossing and turning were options you could accept, but if he was available, you'd call Zeta-7 to hear him, and allow his cheerfulness to ease you into a gentle submission; to relax beyond compare, and leave you in a decent enough mood to doze. Why, you could listen to him explain anything from quantum mechanics to the variety of animal mutations which existed in a galaxy far, far away; to be lulled and softened by his cadence, was a treat you wouldn't have traded for anything in the world. If it happened on the rare chance that you were overcome by exhaustion, you'd just fall asleep as soon as your head hit your pillow; not understanding how or when you'd close your eyes, though you were always grateful when you did. However, if it so happened that you woke up randomly without a cause, but from a feeling, then you knew; you had just missed him; his existence being like a midnight soliloquy; like a ghost, he was sometimes there, but then wasn't; it wasn't that difficult to see why, but it still surprised you nonetheless.

It seemed that once you had given Rick the permission to visit whenever he liked, he did; being woken by the familiarity of his presence on more than one occasion. It was neither ambiguous or obscure, but there, like the air you breathed, being a living, positive force of goodness; vital to your existence. Just when you thought there were no other comparisons to be made, he continued to become and shape himself into the extraterrestrial being that he caused himself to be. Oh, some days you would miss him something fierce, but whenever you'd find yourself so alone, you'd remember that he'd come; whenever it was that he could.

Now, he wasn't sloppy, nor did he hide that he had come by, but he was careful. Quietly, he would check about the house, then would step into your bedroom with caution as though sleeping beauty might wake. At times you only caught the blur which barely stepped out of the doorway, or was soothed by the hand which smoothed out your hair, and other times it was just his scent which lingered; an echo of his existence. Once he sang you a Mexican love song, which made your heart burn, and it seemed interwoven into your half-woken state; having been so drowsy you thought you had dreamt it. And because he worked at random hours, and sometimes for days and weeks at a time, he'd come and lightly kiss you hello and goodbye before going back to work, though your recollections were few. It was precious, and you enjoyed it; at least when you were conscious of it. Most of the time, however, you were only aware of the warmth which touched your cheek and of the blanket which had been placed over you when you were cold; these being the other ways in which he showed you he loved you.

Yet, it happened one night, just as you were about to go to sleep after having spent a better part of the day typing, you saw the familiar green glow in the hallway, and then saw him come through your doorway. He looked at you as though you were a ghost, and you stared into the dark, your nowhere man being there; somewhere out of your reach. As you were about to turn on the light, his gentle touch stopped you. Unsure of what he was about, you didn't struggle as he pulled you into an embrace, but having him squeeze you with all his might, trembling despite himself left you unsettled. “Ricky," you wondered; a flutter of anxiety starting to build in your chest. "what's the matter?”

“I-I-I wish I could just stay here with you,” he began in a low voice; the scent of smoke and disinfectant coming off of him as you rubbed his back. “where n-nothing bad happens.”

He had smelled like this before; as though he had been busy with janitorial duties instead of sorting through papers or lab samples. “Bad day?”

“Y-yeah."

Bad wouldn't be the beginning as to describe it; of that you were sure. You assumed it was another case where he was responsible for the lowly, more humble work which his workmates didn't care to do; or was assigned as to demean him; bullied into doing; likely all of the above. “I'm sorry,” you softened. “I hope it wasn't that bad.”

“It's - I'll b-be fine. I just - I-I had to see you.”

A chill ran through your back. Under any other circumstances, you could've interpreted that as one of his romanticisms, but his quiet desperation brought about a fresh wave of worry instead. "But can you see me in the dark?"

"I wouldn't have been able to if it wasn't for my bionic eye. Did I-I tell you about that yet? I'm sorry if th-that sounds gross."

"I don't know if you told me yet. I guess now is a good time as ever, but maybe you can explain it in detail another day."

"I'm s-sorry, I know you were about t-t-to go to bed, but I - all I could think about was you."

Warmth flooded your cheeks, and you wished you had worn something cuter instead of an old pair of pajamas, but you knew he didn't care. Zeta-7 was lovely that way. You tried to think of something flirty to say in return, but a yawn escaped you instead."Boy, I really have bad timing, d-don't I?" he commented.

"Dear, don't get me wrong, I love having you here," Which was true in all respects, though you wondered if you could put him at ease. "but maybe… perhaps it would be better if we went to the living room. I can get you something warm to drink if you'd like.”

“Y-you don't have to do that." he said in a hurry. "Besides," he continued. "don't - don't I look better this way?”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you cooed.

“No, you don't. Why would you say that? I already know you as you are and I can say for certain that you are the light of my life. To me, you've always been handsome. In fact," you smiled up at him; unsure if he could see your sincerity. "you're the man of my dreams. I dream of you, of that darling smile, of your winning personality which lights up my days, and of your sweetness. Your unconditional sweetness. If you don't believe me, you can always check my dreams.”

“Gosh, if life….si la vida pudiera ser u-un sueño," he sighed, "then I'm sure it'd be you. If I-I had the time it'd be nice if we could - if I could dwell there; in that dreamland of yours. I bet it'd be swell, and normally I'd think all of that - all of which you suggested would be swell, but today hasn't been--it hasn't been that kind t-t-to me."

"I know, but isn't there anything I can do for you Rick?"

He didn't answer. You moved a hand to caress his face in hopes of soothing him but instead found a bump on his right cheek which caused him to wince. “What was that?"

"It's - it's nothing."

"Don't you lie to me Ricardo," you reprimanded. "this is something."

Gingerly, you followed where his skin was warmer than usual and was raised. Your heart sank at the thought of what could've happened. "Oh no, did they…. did they hurt you? What happened?"

A noise escaped him, but he neither confirmed nor denied. This, in turn, made you reluctant to want to return him to the monsters, but you knew he would go; whether or not you wanted him to. The villainy which existed in his kind and Zeta-7's rarity made him such an easy target. You had talked to him about it before, about how he should speak up, but the harsh reality of his situation prevented him from doing so, and you wondered how much more would they try to take from him. True, he wasn't a broken man, but even bravery needed its encouragement and you were going to love him all the more for it because that's all you could do at the moment. "My sweet, sweet man, do you know what I love about you?"

Passing a hand through his hair, you were careful not to brush his cheek, to which a sigh escaped him; the likes of it as though he only just now began to calm. You continued. "I love that no matter what, you'll persevere and continue to be determined. You're so strong, that I couldn't be prouder, but please, don't let them take you away from me."

The arms which had almost been lenient in their affection held you a fraction tighter; immovable in the way in which you were grounded. It was as though being in want of comfort, he in turn desired to return in kind; his impalpable emotions giving way to simpler, softer ones. "I missed you. I-I missed this. Warm hugs and a-affirmation."

"If it's hugs you want," you replied softly. "you can have as many as I can give you. Affirmation? I'll give you enough to reach the moon. I'm no scientist, but somehow, I know you could make it come true."

Warm lips kissed your forehead, and a relieved chuckle brushed your cheek. "The math w-would be nearly impossible."

"So there's a chance." you giggled.

Leaning in close enough, he pressed his forehead to yours. "Yes, th-there is if you believe it enough."

"I do believe, but more so I believe in you. How...how can it be that someone as incredible as you would be harmed by people who look the same? To hurt my man of all people? I ought to get some training and become your bodyguard or something. It just isn't right for anyone else to touch even a hair on your head."

“It um - it was an accident. I sh-should've been paying attention to where I was going. I know it seems bad, but it isn't." which you knew wasn't completely true. "However, I'll get it treated. I-I promise.”

"Why don't you let me take a look at it? I have a first aid kit in the hallway. And while I never finished my medical training, I know enough to treat this. Please, why not let me play nurse and help you feel a little better?"

“M-mi corazón, I would rather y-you don't see it. It looks worse th-then it actually is, but it's fine. Really, I-I swear it is. You've already done more than enough.”

Pulling away a bit, you wondered. "Have I? It seems all I've done is talk you into oblivion, but what about you?"

"Wh-what about me?" he wondered.

"It isn't like you to swear. I haven't heard you swear yet." you teased, pressing a soft kiss on his injury. "I doubt I ever will."

"It's not th-that kind of swear," he began to explain, but then he stopped, thought for a bit, then chuckled. "but I-I-I see what you're - I understand the joke."

You noticed that Zeta-7 avoided standing in the moonlight, and while you couldn't really see him, you didn't relent in your expressions. “Man, if I would've known you were coming over, I would've dressed up a little and made sure there was extra food for you to eat. I'm sorry.”

“It's alright, I-I already ate. I finally used my coupon for Rick's Diner near main street."

Playing with the collar of his sweater you wondered. "Was it any good?"

"It um - it was alright, but I think next time I'll pack some food to warm up. You um - you smell nice by the way. I'm sorry if I-I smell.”

By now, you had gotten used to the variety of smells which could've wafted off him. He had smelled better and worse before, but that only added to his curious ways and charms. "Well, if you're so worried about it, then why don't you stop being so shy and come a little closer. That way you could smell like me."

The silence which proceeded was almost frightening. Hmm, you might've gone too far again, but you couldn't help yourself; half the time he opened the way for light teasing. And yet, you had told yourself before that it wasn't so kind to play with an old man's heart; despite the best of intentions, it might not have been perceived that way, but in the quiet of the room, you could feel his mature heart quicken at your words, and the light rustle of clothes as he fidgeted despite himself. He was so adorable, it was almost criminal, but before he could stumble upon himself in embarrassment, you added. "I was just kidding. Goodness, I guess I have bad timing too. At least where jokes are concerned. Still, to have you here…it's better than a dream."

Again, there was a silence that proceeded and you felt the tug of doubt, but he broke the silence with his sincerity. "I-I never thought you - that I'd be so lucky to enjoy moments like th-this. Let alone with a-a woman."

"In the dark?"

"Whenever. I'm s-sorry I still get embarrassed, but you make me nervous at times. Y-you can be a little unpredictable."

"Good," you brightened. "keeps things exciting. Though, everytime you say something like that, it makes me wonder if it'd be the last time I'd hear you say it. It better not be."

"In my line of work," he admitted solemnly, "there's always a-a chance of that happening, but it's not - I don't like to think about it. However, it does make me appreciate that I'm able to have someone when I - when I'm lonely. I know how pitiful that sounds and how much I repeat it, but you don't know how it's been a great comfort. If you weren't here I'd…"

Though the words died in his throat. You had a feeling as to what he might've meant to say, and frankly, you were glad to not have heard them. Rubbing his back, you cooed. "It's okay. It's all going to be fine. I don't mind how many times you tell me, because I know how much you mean it. I'm right here if you need me. As I am now, and always will be. If you'd like anything...if you need to or want some fresh clothes to change into, I'm sure I can find something around here that might fit. If you want to stay here with me, that's ok too. Whatever you need, I'll be happy to help."

"Allowing me t-t-to come here is more than enough."

Resting a hand on his chest you wondered. "Are you sure? You could stay. Couldn't you stay?"

"I-I wish I could princess. You don't know how much I'd rather be here, but I-I don't want them coming here t-t-to retrieve me, so it's better if I go soon."

"Why?"

"If the guard Rick's have to retrieve me one too many times, they might limit my portal gun use and I'd rather avoid that."

"I swear, I think there's a curse keeping us apart."

Caressing your cheek with the pad of his thumb, he chuckled. “By now, I ugh - I suppose I've become a bit of a broken record, but I promise I'll make it up to you. Curses and swearing aside that is."

"I know."

You didn't want him to go. Not back to those people who couldn't appreciate him. How he put up with it you didn't know. “Maybe one of these days, you could skip out on work and we'll go somewhere. Maybe we could go to Blips and Chitz, and I'll try that one dance game designed for spider people. Wouldn't that be nice? Then we could go see the Jerry's and I can get asked embarrassing questions all about you. How does that sound?”

Bending down to kiss you, he winced but kissed you nonetheless. “That would be swell, but w-we can't go tonight. I-I should get going. I had wanted to make sure you were safe, but it's nice t-t-to see you up. I hope you didn't mind me barging in this way.”

“I don't mind, but I only wish that I could be awake more often when you're here.”

“I-I know, but it's okay. I usually can't stay for long anyway.”

What a shame it really was. You hid your face in his chest, relishing in the warmth and softness of his sweater while you still could; foolishly hoping that he would change his mind. Who would've known he could be so stubborn. Then again, you couldn't find fault in that. “Maybe if I ask the sandman hard enough to bring me a dream," you admitted in a girlish voice. "then I'll see you again real soon."

"I will see you. Y-you only have to look for me."

"In my dreams?"

"If y-you believe."

You pulled him in for a kiss then, pressing peck after peck knowing that he would disappear. You knew he didn't get enough affection already, and he'd have to make due with what you could give him, but was it really enough? You'd never know. With one arm around you, his other was digging around in his pockets for his portal gun. And just as his fingers lightly brushed it, you stopped him and handed him your favorite stuffed animal. “Huh? F-for me?”

“Mhm. That's Bimbo, he'll be sure to keep you safe. He um…my dad had always told me that this stuffy would keep me safe and I consider him one of the dearest friends in the world, but right now I know I'm not the only one who could use a friend. I'm sure he'd be happy to keep you company for a while."

"But h-he's important to you."

"True, but you're the most important to me. Now, something to remember is that he likes to give plenty of hugs and enjoys tea parties, though he would never readily admit it."

"I-I like those things too."

"See? You two are going to be good friends. There's no doubt that you two will get along."

The arm which had been holding you about your waist held you a fraction tighter, and if you hadn't given him a light push, he might've not been encouraged to go. “You gotta let me go now. I don't want you to get in trouble. Please, just make sure to return to me in one piece. Understand?.”

“Yes, I-I-I do. I will.” he answered, before opening a portal and stepping through.

The warmth he had brought was already growing cold. And checking the time, you were sure that you weren't going to get a wink. So dragging the duvet cover with you, you plopped yourself on the couch and flipped through Interdimensional cable, until you found a movie you've might've watched a dozen times before; snuggling into the pillow that still smelled like him; hoping that he will be fine.

Fin

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