#son of nhaama ; hc

[againthemartyr]

Hi yes thinking about Aeron’s whole theme of the Moon and how it has two sides. But most people that meet him only see one: it is the gentle kind moon, the silent man who offers you kindness. It is the warmth that almost makes you forget that is not all who he is. 

It is the bright and the dark side of the moon together, of how he has to keep impulses in check. Aeron is a man who has been shaped both by his faith and his grief. It is the grief that grants him the almost warped sense of justice; it had been so when he decided to strike Thordan down. It was righteous and it was for vengeance and it was his. It was theirs. The shattered fragment of a soul joining together for this moment. It is a contrast to how he presents himself most of the time, and how this changes the more you know him. It is almost catching a glimpse of something you should not see, something he keeps hidden deep within. 

Though it is not so hidden if you have seen him fight at least once: there is the obvious enjoyment of the battlefield, the joy of a battle. Every Xaela feels this, or this is what he believes. It is the hero people see him as versus the ‘Steppes Warrior’ that rages inside, and how it is his own decision to be more. Civilized? he idea that he will pick diplomacy even though he is terrible at talking instead of crushing someone’s head open. Which is not something that he is against doing, sometimes. 

His whole thing is about how grief changes you, but no matter what you can still make the decision to be kind. How kindness is something people easily overlook. As much as it shapes you, you pick where you want to be in your journey. You pick where you want to end, and your decisions to improve.

And this is all because he - deep down - is not a good person.

But he makes the choice to be.

There is a moment in his journey where he is tasked with killing an Inquisitor and the request came. From this person’s own child, talking about how his father had lost his mind and kept executing people because he refused to believe the war had ended. As difficult as it was to track the man down and how twisted he could see what this man had become - all that Aeron could think about was how that also felt right. How it felt almost good to kill someone who brought so much pain to others. And these thoughts haunt him. The fact that he had to report back to this person’s son also haunts him, along with the fact that the corpse was in no state for a burial. It is the weight he carries, sins he would not dare speak to another soul. 

Again: it is the choice and continuous effort to keep the darkness deep down. The fact that kindness is a choice you make, a choice you offer to other people. The beast under the moon also shines beautifully, if it so desires. 

[againthemartyr]

“Soma are you going to open your mouth again to write about headcanons” yes, but hear me out. 

Spoilers for the. Well. Entirety of XIV which I am just putting under a read more so Cherub doesn’t read this and I find peace of mind bc I didn’t Accidentally Spoil Everything. 

How Aeron - and his personas - are shaped and created by grief. How loss affects the soul; consumes, warps, destroys. He has seen it with so many people, and he is also living proof of it. What once was whole is no more, and he is a shattered fragment of himself. 

As much as he was aware of death through his journey: by his hands, people close to him... and through his tribe, as survival is something so important in the Steppes! He really didn’t experience it firsthand until Haurchefant’s death. It really didn’t hit him until it was so glaringly obvious that he could not protect effectively people important to him. That was the hammer smashing fragile glass, the way he never once questioned his faith and now he does. There was a mention somewhere on my blog that he does not see Nhaama as Hydaelyn, and this plays into it. If the Mother sent him on his journey, why does she not answer? 

Why did she leave him in such a far away place, why does she take and take and when he prays she says nothing? It goes back to what I said about grief and how he is fueled by it; a lot of people turn to religion once this happens. Aeron/Xartsa’aga is a man who believes deeply in the Mother, and you can see this in a lot of his gestures. He never forces this on anyone, but he expects respect. But what do you do when that fails you? Who or what do you turn to? 

It’s one of the reasons why he gives up the lance - it is a journey of revenge, of self-destruction. One that almost swallowed him up: he was prepared to kill everyone on Whitebrim and die there himself. It is averted by Vohti simply smacking some sense into him, but people close to him see the change. The gentleness and the sadness. How it sometimes turns into rage, how it bubbles up and explodes eventually. Going off from one of my previous posts about him: 

“It is the bright and the dark side of the moon together, of how he has to keep impulses in check. Aeron is a man who has been shaped both by his faith and his grief. It is the grief that grants him the almost warped sense of justice; it had been so when he decided to strike Thordan down. It was righteous and it was for vengeance and it was his. It was theirs. The shattered fragment of a soul joining together for this moment. It is a contrast to how he presents himself most of the time, and how this changes the more you know him. It is almost catching a glimpse of something you should not see, something he keeps hidden deep within.”  

And how this is because he has lost and that he continues to lose. People dear to him, people who he met and that died for the cause they wanted to fight for. 

Which actually brings me to the point I wanted to write: mementos. 

Few things shook him to his core as the fight with Emet (and then Elidibus). Few things shook him to his core as seeing Amaurot, deeply connected to these things as he is. Perhaps more than the rest of his group, he feels. Unlike everyone else, he tries to talk. Tries to reach common ground with what should be the enemy. 

Because something deep within has also lost, and it wants to prevent it from happening again. It is important to him: to remember and to honor the dead. It plays into his journey of protection, sacrifice. The weight of it. More than anyone, he does not want to forget. It is the reason why he brings the auracite of a certain someone with him at all times. It is a promise to remember. It is something he honors, because he knows grief. 

And it is why when he meets Elidibus, he is the only person in his group willing to listen and desperately wanting a different outcome. One can tolerate the feeling of something rendering your soul apart so many times. Loss does that to you. Death does that to you, and Aeron (and all of the shattered personalities that comprises his ‘self’) has had enough of it. 

You can only see friends dying either because of you - or because they oppose you - so many times. You can only withstand so much needless sacrifice in your name, after all.  

[againthemartyr]

My favorite thing about Aeron....... is his love of skirts. If he is not wearing his usual armor, there is at least a 80% chance he is wearing a jacket with a really long skirt. Or something with really long sleeves. Except when he has to cook, then the arms are Out!!! 

‘Is his fashion sense just Shiki Ryougi from Kara no Kyoukai’ first of all yes. Second: yes

[againthemartyr]

While I am still writing a more in-depth explanation of Xartsa’aga/Aeron, I wanted to go and write some easy-to-chew tidbits about him! I will edit this post to also include the link to the document when it’s done. I’m using this post so I can keep adding details about him in a more informal manner and explaining more about the characters involved without needing to write a whole Novel about it. 

He is actually part of a WoL group! The “main” Warrior of Light is actually Vohti’a Janra, and Aeron and another two people can be considered... sub-WoLs?? Let’s just go with that! They each have their character arc in different expansions, and they are the personification of the found family trope.

Originally from the Steppe and part of the Tumet clan, Aeron experienced a vision of the Dusk Mother and that made him decide to abandon his home and somehow manage to board a ship to Eorzea. 

A plus point of this is that he (back then) did not speak or understand Eorzean Common at all! You can probably imagine how his journey went. He met Vohti’a at Ul’dah, and that is how they became acquainted. Over a very weird campfire, a hooded man who barely understood anything that was spoken to him and warm food. 

It was then that he decided to adopt an “easier” name for himself, as he noticed Vohti and other people had trouble with it. It was then that he borrowed the historical name “Aeron Cadeyrn” to himself, and this is what he goes by to this day. 

Following these events, it was agreed that the two of them would travel together: there he learned the basic knowledge to be able to communicate with others, but Aeron prefers to keep quiet and let others do the talking.

His name means “falcon”, and it was given to him due to his love of Really High places. You can find him always standing outside on the highest point of any place they are camping. He just enjoys it. 

Speaking of enjoyment, he is the ‘assigned chef’ of the group. Just do not ask the components of his meal, as he honors every piece of it. It is delicious, but the knowledge will definitely be something you do not desire to know. 

Originally a lancer! This leads him to an early-entry at Ishgard than the Actual Quests allow, due to his duties as the Azure Dragoon. This might or might have not been endorsed by the Fortemps. 

It is then that he got a bit of more ‘formal’ education. The current status is that he can communicate what he wants to - along with reading and writing to a small extent. But much like talking, if he has to read letters he probably hands them to the nearest party member.

This does not mean he is absent from the events of the game! Just that he had his own stuff to deal with.

The black markings on his face are actually makeup/warpaint! Aeron diligently applies it every day. His face does look kinda funny without it.

This is something that he does not reveal to many, but this man is actually very. Religious is not the right word, but he has a massive amount of faith in the Dusk Mother. He feels very close to Her, and his faith is an important part of his character.  

Related to the point above: Aeron has a hard time dealing with grief. The first time was actually during the whole Vault conundrum. Death is something he thought of as natural: it happens to all beings, but the void that is left by the death of someone that you loved is not something he has ever had to deal with. Needless to say, it ends poorly. It is probably the first time Aeron questions his beliefs.

He disappears for a bit after that, and in that period he apparently gave up the lance and the title to find something else that would help him make sense of this. This is what prompts his change to Dark Knight, believing it is best to protect people than to be protected.

The lasting effects of trauma really resided in his soul: his sense of self shattered in two. His "normal" self -- Aeron -- continued to navigate the world as usual, serving as one of the Warriors of Light. His other half -- Xartsa'aga -- took on the burden of all of their anger, grief, and pain. With Xartsa'aga dealing with their negative emotions, Aeron could continue to act as the man he has always seemed to be. The two of them have learned to coexist over the years and have grown closer, learning to accept themselves and work together to care for and protect their loved ones.     

Values personal freedom a lot. And also the ability that people have to choose their own fate.

Finds various monsters to be “cute”, which draws many skeptical looks from others. Has a tendency to try and bring them home with him. A notable example was him trying to convince one of the Fuath to simply return to the Source with him. 

From his perspective, Hien views the Xaela as a tool to use for combat, and he does not care for the man. Or any that sees his people as simply ‘savage beasts’. 

Aeron is. Very. Moon themed. For obvious reasons! The neutrality of the moon, the many faces of it. This relates deeply to his decisions back in Amaurot. Ultimately unable to pick a side, but then following the decision that was not correct, but the one that made sense at the time. 

(Me staring at the camera blankly while I unfurl an even bigger list of terrible stuff I wrote) You can probably assume from the previous post that he did not ultimately side with Hydaelyn. Not because he did not agree with the principles of it - but of the immediate necessity of the world he loved to be saved.

Going on with the moon/night theme that he embodies, obviously I picked “Nyx” for his ascian name. The odd attachment to strange creatures probably originated there, along with his calm demeanor.  

This also means that his “love” for the World carried on as well. As much as he can relate to their supposed “Enemy” (as he is now aware that they are not so different after all), this is their world now. This is what he swore to protect. This is the place that he loves, now and forevermore.   

[againthemartyr]

holly for aeron :3

 botanical headcanons (accepting)

holly: how strong is your muse’s sense of intuition ?  are they aware of it ?   do they ever fear that it is only paranoia ?

Aeron is actually a man who is fueled by a lot of both intuition and instinct. Both during battles, and when he is talking to anyone: they are ever present, and it might seem at times that he acts on something before thinking about it. While it may sometimes be the case, he is surprisingly perceptive. It is usually why he is the first one to feel that something is not ‘right’, and also (in his group) one of the first that can realize when they are about to be ambushed. And of course he uses it to figure out if people need something, as he does not do much talking. Aeron is very in touch with this side of themselves, and far from them to think it is paranoia (fortunately)!

This man will really appear out of nowhere because they sense if you need help (and that he is fundamentally a good person), he is someone who listens to his heart a lot. Whatever happens can be prevent with enough effort, always. 

[againthemartyr]

Bluebell, Gladiolus, and Peony, for any muse you'd like!

 botanical headcanons (accepting) 

bluebell: does your muse learn from their past, or are they prone to repeating the same mistakes ?  (nier)

You can end mankind’s continued existence once and only once! And guess what this man did. He is not going to learn, as in the end all his decisions in his eyes were justified. The sacrifices he had to make to get to this point were immeasurable, but in the end he had done what he set out to do. Yonah is there and Yonah is safe, and if in the process he had purposely terminated all hope of ‘humans’ existing, that is fine. What matters to him is that his sister is safe. And to a singular nod to Ending D, to ensure that Kainé will have a better life. His journey is one of revenge, as he can see the world crumbling around him but he is adamant in his decision to save his little sister. 

gladiolus: describe a moment from your muse’s life that they will never forget. (emil)

Seeing Nier for the first time. :) (any smilers in the chat???) After the battle with Halua, and taking over his sister’s body (corpse?? skeleton???) Emil could. Finally see the world, he could finally experience his friends - and the person he cherishes the most - for the first time ever. It is something that shook him to his core, even though his body had changed to one that people would find ‘monstruous’. He could see finally the people that gave him light, that gave him purpose. That did not shun him for his cursed eyes, that even after everything that he went through… still saw him as Emil.  That was - is, and will always continue to be - the most important thing to him.

peony:  what would a ‘happy life’ look like in your muse’s eyes ? (aeron)

Me looking at the camera: one day he can roll in the grass every day all day without people bothering him. But in all seriousness, I think the day he can return to the Steppe and simply live his life quietly. They know it will never come to be true, so Aeron enjoys the quiet moments he can get. The moments where he is alone with nature, with the stars. But we all know where the journey of a hero ends, and it is never with peace and quiet. There are always people to be protected, there are always people who would destroy all that they hold dear to their heart.