#sorry for being patheticccccccc and weirddddddddd
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#I've been trying to keep my childish side with me for years#since i was a kid#because ive always valued that whimsy and imagination and kindness and openess#but lately it came to me that for years i mostlyI feel like my childhood is dead inside me#like its dead and i cant even step into memories anymore#and when i look back i realise i mostly never really felt like a real child. more like a person pretending to be a child#ive been forced to Get On With It since i was about 4#so maybe all that endurance has taken its toll...#i feel like maybe it could be revived if i did something really nice like go to disney land or find a care#giver#or something#be babied by friends or find something that makes me happy#tbh#and this is a bit serious#i dont really have things that make me happy#ive been feeling extra alone lately its probably very obvious#sorry for being patheticccccccc and weirddddddddd#anyway.
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