#sorry idk why I'm thinking thoughtsTM today
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#yk when i said to my therapist 'i hate shopping bc clothes are designed on a standard body that's not that standard at all#and I don't ever find things that could fit me nicely'#and she went 'yeah but your body is not that dar from said standards'#and i went 👁️👄👁️#wdym it's not that far from the standards#on todays episode of 'i have no idea what i look like and at this point I'm afraid to ask'#like come on i used to fit kids clothes THAT'S the standard my mind still thinks about#and also i think I'll go back there someday. I'm not saying right now I'm thinking about doing it but just let me live on my own and see#how fast I'll go back to it#it's too addicting I've never felt as bad and empty in every sense as i did when i was at my lowest but I've never felt as happy either#i know I KNOW it's not worth it bc there's literally only downsides and i was like a ghost of myself#and I've fought teeth and nails to find myself again#but I'd lie if i said i don't think about it every day#why do you think i watch these many shows lmao my brain needs to be busy all the time#sorry idk why I'm thinking thoughtsTM today#i need to study economics#tw body image#tw ed
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