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[golden1u5t]

mirrorball | s.r x fem!reader

ꨄ requested: anonymous

ꨄ genre: fluff

ꨄ summary: spencer notices how you put other people before you all the time so he decides to do something special for just you.

"oh- um- here, elle. you can have it." you lowered the mug from your face, passing it to her with a fake smile on your face. you had fixed the last tea bag in the office's kitchen and just as you brung it to your face elle walked in talking about making her a cup of tea, only to see that there was no more. so, like you always do, you offered your cup to her.

"are you sure?" she looked down at the mug and then back at you, biting down on her lip. you shrugged your shoulders and nodded your head, handing the mug to her. "thank you! i owe you!"

elle turned around and walked out of the room, you watched her leave with a smile on your face until you couldn't see her anymore. you sighed and turned around, thinking about how you told yourself that you would stop putting other people before you. it's so hard though, especially when you can't stand the thought of making someone upset.

spencer walked into the kitchen just a few minutes later, immediately noticing the way your shoulders slumped. he glanced over at you as he reached into the cabinet to grab the coffee so he could fix a fresh pot.

"did you get your cup of tea?" he asked as he poured coffee into the filters, putting it into the coffee maker. once he got the maker started, he turned and faced you completely. you glanced up and put a smile on your face as you shook your head.

"no, elle came in wanting some tea but i had already used the last bag so i gave her mine." you shrugged your shoulders and looked down at your hands, you started to pick at the skin around your nails. "it's no problem really."

spencer looks down at you picking at your nails, he wants to reach down and grab your hands to stop you but he decides against. even though he's liked you ever since you stepped foot in the office, he's too shy to make a move. you spare him one last glance before walking out of the kitchen.

+++

spencer get's to work before you, before anyone really, and usually he takes the time to get a head start on his reports but this time is different.

before he went home the day before he stopped by the store to grab you some of your favorite things. pens and a new notepad so that you can doodle when you're bored, two boxes of your favorite tea so that you don't have to share with everyone else for a while, a bag of lollipops to refill the container you emptied by giving everyone else them, and some other things you've mentioned that you liked.

he had everything set up perfectly for when you finally walked into the office, your morning cup of tea in your hands and a smile on your face(which he knew was fake most of the time).

you noticed the basket on your desk and an expression of confusion spread across your face. you set your cup down and looked through the basket, a real smile shining through when you saw all your favorite things.

"did anyone see who left this?" you looked around but everyone just shrugged their shoulders and went back to whatever they were doing. though, you did notice how quickly spencer turned around and how red his face was, you walked over to his desk. "thank you, spence. i- i wasn't expecting it."

"it's no problem, re-really." he refused to look into your eyes but you could see how he got redder every second you stood there. you bit down on your bottom lip and turned on your heels, only getting halfway to your desk before spencer called your name. "would you want- could we- i would like to take you out... on a date. only if you want, of course."

you turned around, barely processing the words that were coming out of his mouth. you never expected spencer reid would be asking you out, in a room full of people nonetheless.

"i would love to."

[doctorreids]

folklore - spencer reid x reader

CHAPTER SIX - mirrorball

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summary:  dinner’s at rossi’s and dancing in the kitchen, y/n remembers all the times she shone for spencer. 

word count: 1.4k

“i’m a mirrorball, i’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.”

Pouring herself another glass of Rose, she remembered the first night she saw Spencer as more than just a workplace crush. The first night she had felt completely brave, lovesick, and reckless.

She placed Joni Mitchell’s ‘Blue’ album on her record player and let the memories overtake her.

Nerves wracked her body as she stepped out of the taxi outside Rossi’s house. It was her first night out with the BAU team, she’d only joined the team two months ago. In those two months, she had found a close friend in Emily.

Emily practically trained her and was her partner on most cases, she’d shown her the ropes and was always there to talk about each case after they were over. Her job was less daunting with Prentiss by her side and she couldn’t be more grateful for the rest of the team too.

She also found herself harbouring a small crush on the BAU’s local genius, Dr. Spencer Reid. It wasn’t enough that he was incredibly attractive and smart, he also had to be one of the most caring men she’d ever met. It would be easy for anyone to be sweet on him. He was oblivious to her suggestions of grabbing coffee or going to the new exhibit in one of DCs many museums, often inviting JJ or Morgan along.

One time he invited Rossi on their last case. She had never felt more embarrassed when Rossi asked her afterward if she wanted to be alone with him. He reassured her that Spencer felt the same, but she found it hard to believe that the man that avoided her like the plague could ever like her.

So she buried the feelings and carried on. She knew she would never have the confidence to act on them.

Wrapping her arms around herself, each step she took up to the front door was filled with trepidation until she heard a soft voice call out her name.

Spencer.

She spun on her heels to see him dressed in a shirt and suit jacket. He’d cut his hair too. He looked good.

“Doctor Reid! You cut your hair! It suits you.”

Red blush filled his cheeks.

Nervously, he thanked her and offered her his arm. Nodding she took it as they walked arm in arm.

Before she could knock, he stopped her.

“You don’t need to be nervous. They all love you, you know.”

She giggled, “How’d you know I was nervous?”

“That,” he pointed to her arms twisted around her torso, “you only do that when you’re either overwhelmed or nervous.”

That stunned her. He actually paid attention to her?

“Ah, the joys of working with profilers…”

“No! I didn’t mean to be creepy or-“

“Spence, it’s not creepy. In fact, you’re nervous too.”

“Pardon?” He sputtered.

“Your voice is softer when you’re unsure, it’s your tell.”

It was his turn to be stunned as she knocked on the front door; it opened to reveal a slightly tipsy Penelope behind it.

“The good doctor and my sunshine! Come on in, wine is a-flowing!”

Laughing, she shot Spencer a small smile as Garcia dragged her towards the kitchen.”

Stories of college days and cases past were recalled lovingly over a few bottles of wine and homemade food. Music flooded through the radio, Carole King and Sam Cooke playing throughout the night.

She felt as though she was coming home like she had been away from home for so long. She had finally found her place in the world, she no longer felt like someone on the outside, always looking in. She felt known and accepted - a feeling she had been searching for her entire life.

She’d already bid Hotch and JJ goodnight when she decided to throw in the towel, just as she dialled the taxi company Spencer stopped her.

“I’m sober. I’ll give you a ride home.”

Emily gave her a knowing smile as she and Spencer said their goodnights and walked to his car, an old, beat-up Volvo.

Normally for someone so talkative, he was quiet. She assumed he was just concentrating on the road and her directions, she’d later find out that he was so flustered by her he couldn’t find the words to try to start a conversation. In his own words, he didn’t want to embarrass himself.

In the stillness of the night, through the radio came a song she hadn’t heard since she was a girl in her dad’s jeep.

Humming along, she couldn’t help but steal a glance at Spencer, a kind smile rested on his face permanently until he dropped her off.

“hush, when no one is around, my dear,��you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you.”

The next time the song played when they were together was seven months later. April showers meant their planned date became a stay-at-home one. She and Spencer had pulled apart her cupboards and refrigerator to make a meal.

Spencer took a shower as she stood at the sink, humming along and swaying her hips. Singing along turned into her own concert for no one, dancing without a care in the world as she scrubbed clean their plates and each pot and pan.

Spencer watched her shine, she lit up any room. She had no inhibitions, nothing holding her back. She was unbridled joy, sunshine in her smile, and gold in her eyes.

She caught his eyes as he stood in the doorway, laughing with her. Grabbing his hands, she pulled him into her as the music changed; Billy Joel’s ‘Just The Way You Are’ floating through her kitchen.  They fit together like two missing pieces of a puzzle, the answer to a life-long riddle. She laughed at his awkward stance.

“What are you laughing at? I don’t know how to dance!” He pouted.

“Just hold me and sway Spence,” she giggled.

And he did. They clung to each other as if the world was ending, everything else faded away. It was just them and only them.

She didn’t feel like she had to perform for him, she could just be herself. All her faults and imperfections didn’t bother her with him; he made her feel as though she was enough. She didn’t have to change herself for him to like her - he would have her anyway. As she would with him.

She knew she was fragile, that if she broke she would break into a million different pieces. He made her feel strong and secure like she could beat the demons that haunted her. That she was worthy of every good thing in her life, that she was worthy of the love he gave her.

At that moment, in his arms, she was enough.

“i’m still on that tightrope. i’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me…i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me.”

The memory was bittersweet.

Dancing in the refrigerator-light became their way of unwinding. Music was never off in either of their apartments; Spencer had some classical pieces on, she had some early 70s to late 80s records on. For three months, there’s only been silence.  

As time passed, he no longer laughed at her when she swayed or hummed along. He would perch himself on the edge of the couch, reading or watching some documentary. She would wash the dishes before showering. The domesticity of the situation would look normal to any outsider, but it was ice-cold between them; stuck in a stalemate they didn’t know how to get out of.

Yet, she believed that everything would work out. If it wasn’t meant then, it could in the future. She held onto that hope for a while after they split but he couldn’t look at her. When she looked at him, he no longer met her gaze. There were no stolen glances in the bull-pen, in the conference room, or on the jet. She didn’t ride with him in the SUV nor did they work on geographic profiles together.

Everything she had tried, she thought, didn’t work then and it wasn’t working now.

All she ever wanted was for him to look at her and really, truly see her. For him to know and love her for her, not some mirrored version of herself.

As she sat with her second glass of Rose, she couldn’t help but believe that she had ruined everything.

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