#spice.vent
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
anyway fuck abusers fuck people who make others feel small fuck people in this comunity who do this to other people fuck you FUCK YOU I FUCKIGN HATE YOU I FUCKING HAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
#spice.txt#sorry i just.... trauma dredged back up#anyway if yall want to be wary of the person that fucked me up to make me appologize all the time#dm me and ill share the fucking tea#spice.vent#sorry
12 notes
路
View notes
Text
X
Feeling incredibly guilty and selfish for streaming every sunday... Im sorry... Maybe thisll be the last one... Idk im sorry ive taken up ur time... Ill think on it
I know people have other things to do and i dont want to take up hours of people's free days.... I mean if they didnt have time they just won't come but... Idk... What right do i have to do streams... What right do i have to be the circus clown.... Idk sorry i need to splash water on my face
4 notes
路
View notes
Text
...
#im giving up#im.never creating anyrujg ever again thisnsucks#alsp.domft fucking listen to.me im probabny having bad pmdd symptoms rn#but right now i feel like im not good enough for snytjjnf so im just gonna cry alone a while#yuuuuehdbjdidjdnjdidk#spice.vent#sorry sorry sorry sorey sorry
3 notes
路
View notes
Text
mm...
#i think maybe i should take a break from tumblr...#idk... i feel like im becoming a little bit too obsessive#like with everything... with everyones image of me and with everyone and with .... idk im starting to ...#im starting to obsess over every little interaction with everyone i desire to be closer to#and thats... not healthy... ive spend so much time recently worried about if the people i want to be friends with even really like me#and i know they do theyve said as much but ... even with that im still feeling left out and i dont want to feel like that#not that i AM being left out but my brain making me feel as if i am ... and im not sure how to change it other than maybe taking a step bac#im sorry if theres anyone ive made uncomfortable with my interactions#i tend to be very.... forward once someone is nice to me and i dont realize im being too annoying or overbearing so im really sorry if ive#done that to you im really really sorry#so if you dont see me around for a few days this might be why#im still... not sure if ill fully leave but....#idk if you read this and i HAVENT been overbearing and annoying id really like some reassurance that i havent been ... because somtimes...#its hard to hear all the genuine nice voices over my own mind telling me no one wants me around#sorry if u read this tho....#spice.txt#spice.vent#i guess its a vent??? tagging in case....
4 notes
路
View notes
Text
I wish i was brave abt anything ever
#I am so scared of everything#i wanna show off my cute new glasses but worried both abt seeming conceited and also feeling uggo#then im also scared about talking to anyone ever because I don't want to be that annoying guy#you know like im so scared people are talking ABOUT me to eachother like 'lol look at this try hard coming into my dms to try to talk to me'#like i dont want to think people are malicious but when thats how most friendships have ended up make me so scared#i want to see people as nice and kind and believe what they say but fucking trauma and the grip it has on me#sorry for venting i just wish i were brave#i wish I could talk to moots and ask them oc questions and have them ask me questions but i dont want to bother anyone#im scared im a nuisance you know.... crying#ahhdjdjjidjdjeiie#sorry sorry#spice.txt#spice.vent#delete later#probably
6 notes
路
View notes
Text
thinking about this and the og tags i put yesterday....
ok but what if we made a discord group chat to specifically only call in when we do aggie....
#i just... the servers scare me... as you know#but i want somewhere we could call no obligation or something... just pop into ....#like if others are areound they can pop in too#if only the aggie didnt make people play primum to call in the app or whatever#this probably wont happen#i just ... i love chit chatting and#idk ill be honest with my feelings on main i get jelly and feel left out when others are calling and i cant play#i mean i know its ok to feel jealous and stuff... and ... im not entitled to peoples time...#thats why i want a place with no obligation ...#GAH I HATE BEING TRAUMATIZED#spice.txt#spice.vent
9 notes
路
View notes
Text
Anyway one pocket of my mind is being mean to me so im going to another pocket where i wont be bothered and am just gonna write fic for the rest of my shift....
#spice.txt#do you ever just draw and then like mid sketching youre hit with self loathing#hit with the possibility that youre just not good at anything you do?#or maybe its the imposter syndrome...#i dunno... sorry i think ive been kind of a downer lately#ill stop... but also tag this cause its vaguely#spice.vent
5 notes
路
View notes
Text
i need like... a fanfic helper, you know? someone to just go to with all my ososan questions and to get second opinions i was telling my roommate (who i bother enough with all my qs) that i need like, an ososan veteran on standby who wants to help me and knows all the ins and outs, cause as much as i love ososan, im still new here and there are always new things im finding out, you know? I still havent made it through all the drama cds and ... uah i dunno... I guess i just wish for more knowledgeable people to speak with i guess
#spice.txt#spice.ososan#spice.vent#cause whatever im gonna ramble about here out of view will probably be a little venty#like i know im annoying and overbearing when it comes to things like this...#cause despite wanting to be ok with being alone in a fandom space its so hard to do so when you want to collaborate/ask for ideas and thing#but at the same time dont want to be the annoying begging one for help... not wanting to be the person everyone sees on the dash like#'ugh not this one again. are they ever going to shut up?' because things like this has happened before... and itll happen again#if someone doesn't explicitly tell me that they want to be friends and speak with me#then i will simply keep my distance because ill automatically think that every time im talking to them that im bothering them#all because of stupid trauma and my stupid head...#sorry this went on too long and ill probably delete it in a few hours.... i just needed to just... i dunno#esp since [redacted] happened im more sensitive than ever about shit like this because i guess im just not meant to make friends#delete later
2 notes
路
View notes