#splorpo speaks
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HELP my girlfriend made an edward bread portrait (“breadward”) for the annual twilight halloween marathon
#she’s so talented#this is truly the event of the year in my house#we watched the extended editions this time and those cut scenes sure were cut for a reason#highly recommend doing this with a bunch of friends btw. but make sure to drink or something#splorpo speaks
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my mom’s take on if i were a contestant on the bachelor
#started watching the golden bachelor despite never seeing the other seasons bc one of my roommates has seen all of them#and they found the like 30 hottest grandmas ever#it’s insane#splorpo speaks
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where am i
#i hadn’t used youtube in forever and this was one of the first videos suggested to me#splorpo speaks
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a girl who works at the grocery store and was wearing a dog collar during her shift said she loves my style, so basically i won
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a small glimpse into the wonderful world of dating me
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gonna log off for a bit bc i waste too much time on here
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hollering bc i’ve been hooking up with this girl but we had to stop bc i got recurrent strep and have to get my tonsils removed, and apparently she was telling her friends about this and she showed them a picture of me and one of them went “dude i would just get strep”
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Xbox 360 2021-2023
my little buddy passed away unexpectedly last night. he was a fantastic rat and an even better gamer. press [F] to pay respects.
#gamer funeral#i had to put the second pic up bc it’s his ugliest photo#he was a sprague-dawley which is a lab breed and they only live 2-3 years so we WAS basically elderly#really good creature#will miss the little beast#splorpo speaks
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reading the wikipedia article for milf manor
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oh yeah it turns out i have ADHD lmao
#i am currently side-eyeing everything i do#going into november free from chronic strep and saddled with a new mental diagnosis#this new year it WILL be a new me#splorpo speaks
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i don’t give a FUCK about taylor swift i’m going to go listen to era vulgaris queens of the stone age for the 5000th time
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ran this on twitter a while back just for fun, and i just realized i can run it on tumblr too. now let’s see how many homos are in the house.
#splorpo speaks#u don’t need to reblog it bc it is for my followers#everyone else will be like ‘who is this guy’#my followers may even be like ‘who is this guy’
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happy anniversary undertale, and happy 8 years of wanting to fuck that robot
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vacationing to the beach that makes u old so i can become a milf faster
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mass deleting tons of old posts bc i remembered that i used to overshare A LOT the year that i was semi-popular, and i really do not want all that out there lmao
#i was really out here openly discussing the particulars of my trauma with complete strangers#jesus christ#i know it’s bc i was GOING THROUGH IT#i guess it is kind of nice to know i have genuinely gotten better since then#for a moment i was like ‘i miss when people sent me asks every day’ but the sheer volume of these is insane#most people were cool but no wonder i got so stressed out#i’ve deleted over 1000 of my answers#also lmao @ my old posts about my situationship. girl u were fucked up!!#splorpo speaks
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me: my tit size is obnoxious bc if people want to make fun of me then i have no tits, but if i want to walk around shirtless, suddenly i have tits and it’s public indecency
my sister: schrodinger’s titties
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