#steffie pops is rotating in my brain

[blaithnne]

Literally obsessed with how Host!Vic continuously self sabotages the good things in their life in search of some form of perfection they will never be able to reach. They chase after people who at best want nothing to do with them and at worst actively want to do them harm, break themself and mould themself into exactly what that other person wants until they’re finally accepted, and in the end it always falls apart, it never lasts, but they keep trying. They push away anyone who shows an active interest in them, struggle and writhe and kick and scream and dig in their heels and refuse association, refuse to let themself be appreciated, sabotages the relationship before it can begin. They meet a man who is head over heels for them, so much so they get married within days of meeting, and what do they do? They freeze him in ice and thaw him out years later in hopes of recreating their meeting but better, perfect this time. And it doesn’t work so they do it again, rinse and repeat because good isn’t perfect and so it’s never enough. Every interview the same question—what is the meaning of life?—and the answers are good but never perfect so they ask again. Ask again, again, again, keep asking, keep asking until you find the perfect answer. Time and time again they’re told happiness is other people, look around you, it’s in reach, but they don’t listen, they keep asking. None of it matters, it’s never enough, it’s not perfect. Ignore the good in search of perfect. Sabotage every relationship because none of them are perfect, break yourself so you’re perfect for someone else and watch as it falls apart and try again, again, again.