#still have to finish scene 1. though that shouldnt be hard.

[orcelito]

Wrowwwww

I actually managed to finish writing scene 2. It's not a massively long scene, but captures what I wanted to with it + sets up for scene 5 perfectly well

12k written for chapter 41. I'm nearing completion.

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

[flowerslightning]

The OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in FF7

This thing actually caught my eyes while reading a few theory about FF7R and the word OCD appear in their certain analysis, in IG, youtube comments and some posts in tumblr too. Dunno why but they always relate Biggs with OCD. I looked back to the scenes where Biggs appear and... Okay, i understand why they thinj Biggs has OCD or perfectionist

A lot of people, including the psych students themselves easily confused with OCD and perfectionist (I got confused by it quite often too). Now, is Biggs OCD or is he just a perfectionist? Let's take a deeper look at it

Biggs is not a famous character. So fans dont really care about him, but I do

Disclaimer : i'm not a psychologist. Im an intern and still studying. Psychiatric is not my major field but i got assigned there as an intern for quite a time and we got exposed a lot about psychology too. We didnt learn them professionally like the real psyche students, we learned (and still under training) through real life experience + a little bit from the books.

So there might be wrong interpretation here and there. Pls correct me if I'm misleading u. And pardon my english. Pls dont use any of these terms to diagnose urself. Remember, I'm a student, not a professional.

I kins of blame the social media for portraying OCD in such a nasty way, when someone with OCD is actually suffering inside.

OCD is not just about 'clean clean, must clean this place till squeaky clean' and OCD is not about being perfectionist. OCD and perfectionist are two different thing.

Perfectionist is more to a demand demeanour, eg "I want the cake to be like this. I want it to be pink. No, not that pink, it must be neon pink with slight purple. Do it again. No, i dont want that pink. Do it again. Ahhh yess, nice pink." Someone with perfectionist, after they got their result, they will immediately bcome calm and satisfied. Perfectionist is obviously different from OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). OCPD falls under Personality Disorder and it is different from OCD. Im not going to talk about that

Credit goes to crazyheadcomics.

Look at how OCD got spoken from the media perspective. It is very much resemble to Biggs, dont u think? In reality, someone with OCD always feel stress about everything around them, and they will find it hard to complete their task.

OCD has two components - Obsessive and Compulsive

| 1. Obsessive. It is a repeating thoughts about something and often occur until it makes someone feel stress about it. Eg, u think that ur hand will get bacteria infection if u touch a chair, door, fridge or when holding someone's hand. This thought always appear in ur mind everytime u touch the door, chair, fridge or somebody's hand, but when u touch ur shoes, u never think about the bacteria (in certain cases, some patients become scare of everything they touch)

| 2. Compulsive. It is a repeating of the same actions to fulfill the 'obsession' in order to reduce the stress acted upon them. Usually the 'action' has a specific ways in which the patient believe he has to do it like this or that way or else he will fail. Eg, after touching the chair, he will immediately wash his hand 10x from left to right. He believes the hand washing wont be effective if he starts from right to left

Another sign of OCD is when someone re-checking the door lock few times. Its normal for us to re-check once/twice the door lock for confirmation, but for people with OCD, they will re-check the door lock for about 6-10 times and still not feel satisfied and later they stress out. And also the OCD people, they tend to get annoyed when something is not in particular order and they will immediately fix it eventhough they know they're wrong.

I met a funny woman at the hosp arranging our students' books according to its thickness, when I asked her why did she arranged our books like that,

She replied : "Doctor said I have CDO"

Me : "Sorry, CDO? Never heard of it"

She : "It is actually OCD but I feel so stress hearing that term so I put it in alphabetical order. CDO, much better"

We both had a good laugh. Her case was not serious though, but she was feeling miserable with her thoughts and decided to meet a psychiatrist. I would say she was still in early stage for someone with OCD, but may lead to severe if left untreated

It is really hard to satisfy and convince someone with OCD and they always feel stress about something they shouldnt care too much about. U can say OCD is a fastidious type, and they're actually more than that

If we want to relate this condition with Bigg's case., urmm. The only time where I can spot him being different than the other characters is when he's busy sweeping his front house and when he pat Cloud's head during the Sector 7 plate fall.

The cleaning stuff isnt exactly weird thing for a human to do. But it is something odd, I mean, he just finished his mission with Jessie and survived a jump from the plate, and yet he still have the energy to sweep dry leaves, AT NIGHT! He can wait till tomorrow though and should get himself a proper rest.

Wedge says Biggs has a habit of overthinking stuff

And there we see Biggs sweeping the dry leaves. It might be because he is trying to distract himself from doing his bad habit - overthinking. But urm , i think there'll be higher chance for someone to overthink when doing house chore like Biggs is doing. This is where lots of people say Biggs cleaning the house at night is bcause he has OCD or he's a perfectionist.

But I dont think thats the case. For real, he is completely normal. No sign of him acting weird in that scene. If he really does have OCD or he's a perfectionist, we'll see more of him arguing with Barret about unnecessary stuff. He cant become one of Avalanche's strongest member (not exactly strong, but hey, he's trustworthy). Also, if u notice, Biggs have one earring on his right ear. Someone with OCD will feel irritated by it bcause his ear doesnt look 'balance'. OCD people, even in mild case, they want everything about them to be balance and in good order.

After trying to understand Biggs way of thinking and style through his short screentime, I strongly believe this guy has no such thing as OCD or being a perfectionist. Biggs just cares tooooo much about his friends, he thinks 10 times ahead from the bigger picture in which it frightens him about the bad consequences that will occur to people he cherish.

He is the type that always have a back up plan in his mind. He thinks of 5 possible bad things and comes out with 10 solutions. That's the power of an overthinker like Biggs I'll tell ya

Biggs probably cleaning his front house area at night bcause the next early morning, he will need to leave his house for the bombing mission. Better take care of things the night before the big day. He can ditch the cleaning work but he wont do it, not bcause he's a perfectionist/OCD, but try to imagine this, if ur front house is full with dry leaves and rubbish, it will be unpleasant for the neighbours next to ur house to see. Living in the slum means higher chance for u to get sick if u dont take care of ur surrounding hygiene. Biggs is a kind man, and I believe he doesnt want to upset his neighbours

He probably has overthink this matter like "If i dont do this now, I probably dont have time for doing it tomorrow. Maybe I'll broke my leg from the mission and this trash will be left untouched, then there'll be high chance for the children around here to get sick. What if they get infectious disease bcause of this dry leaves? And then the parents will be worried and the Sector 7 Slum will be in chaos etc etc. Time for plan A. Let's clean this place"

Besides, remember the post where I mentioned about Mental Health First Aid? Biggs, as the side character gives the best MFA to Cloud even without knowing what Cloud had gone through. Biggs is just toooo kind with his friends, he cares too much causing him to overthinks about his friends conditions. He can notice even the slightest change in his friend's behaviour and with his own instinct, he cheers for them

Aww man, how can u not love his personality? He's the sweetest side character ever (and kinda hot too).

Soo as the conclusion for my post here, Biggs does not have OCD. He's a side character with a big heart who cares tooooooo deeply about his friends that leads him to overthink too much.

However, if the devs say Biggs really has OCD then my statement about him will be invalid. I'm sure they have put everything in a very close detail look.

Btw, I personally think Biggs kind of portrays the other small side of Cloud, the overthinking part for their romantic partner. But Biggs express his worry through words while Cloud express it through his actions, eg - like how he always keep an eye on Tifa. He never speak it directly like "I'm worry about Tifa, I must help her", he just simply be with her either she needs a help or not. While Biggs clearly says "Jessie been acting weird, I should go if she needs any - help -"

Action speaks louder than words but sometimes our eyes failed to listen.

Alright, that's it. Thanks for being with me till the end.

[chenqingssuibian]

thanks for tagging me @xueyangs-pinky-finger !!!

rules: post your 2 favourite episodes of 3 of your favourite shows and tag 6 people!

ahh... alright then! I'm adding another rule - only shows I've finished!

the untamed, season 1, episode 14

does this surprise anyone? it shouldnt. this, if memory serves, is the episode of the xuanwu fight, making it Also the episode of this iconic line:

"Lan Zhan... do you like MianMian?"

oh, Wei Ying..... you're so fucking stupid.

the untamed, season 1, episode 44

there isn't really a reason. wen ning just looked Spectacular this episode. really. that's it.

cherry magic! season 1, episodes 1-12

i can't pick. cherry magic is so, so good, guys - it's impossible to pick a favorite episode!

my favorite moment, though, is probably a tie between when minato tells tsuge his feelings are mutual, and when kurosawa first confesses to adachi, reaches out to touch his face, and then drops his hand. that is a trope that always gets me. ahh, I want someone to reach out to me like that too!!!

second season wHEN-

iljimae, season 1, ~episode 8?

it has been two years since I watched iljimae (which is a classic kdrama, by the way, you Should watch it if you like lee joongi, who plays the lead) so I cannot remember which episode I liked best. however, I do remember my favorite moment!

I'll recap the plot up until the scene mentioned: iljimae whose real name I can't remember I'm so sorry baby boy was born into a noble family, but his father was framed for treason and executed. as the family of a traitor, iljimae and his family were to be sold or killed - it's implied, irrc, that iljimae, as a male, will be killed, while his sister and mother will be sold as slaves. thankfully, his life was saved by a lower-class family with connections to his father (which I won't get into here because spoilers, lmao.)

iljimae fell ill soon after his father's body was drawn and quartered (an event which... he saw. poor baby) and when he woke up, he had entirely forgotten his past. he grew up without the knowledge of his past, as a result.

shenanagins happen, and iljimae becomes, well, iljimae, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. he gets trained in martial arts, remembers his identity, and ends up finding out where his sister is! hurray! except... well. his sister is still a slave and the daughter of a traitor. I can't remember if she is framed or if she tries to escape, but either way, she is set for public execution. iljimae comes up with a plan to save her by sabotaging the rope, but the executioner changes the rope out at the last minute.

as iljimae watches from the crowd, his sister is hung. her neck snaps instantly.

morbid, right? why is this your favorite moment, you ask? well, I'll tell you - it's the acting. lee joongi is stellar, he always has been, and 2008's iljimae was no exception - the way his face twists as iljimae's sister dies, the anguish there... it was so heartwrenching. but he couldn't scream, because then he would be found out, so he's just standing there, shaking, staring at his sister's body. ahh, it was heartbreaking... I need to go rewatch it sometime.

honourable mention: black sails

this is another case of ly not being able to remember what episode her favorite moment is in. please forgive me. it is, however, in season two!

black sails, in case you don't know, is sort of a prequel to treasure island - it follows the pirates of the story, showing how they became the villains they became. in my favorite scene, captain flint, the mainest of main characters at this point, has watched the most important woman in his life, miranda, die, and is on trial for piracy. the man who ruined his life, an old friend, governor ashe, tells him to confess so that the execution may be private.

flint glares up at him, and in a speech that you really have to watch performed to get the impact, says basically this: "everyone is a monster to someone. if I am to be your monster, then so be it." (i cant remember the exact quote off the top of my head,,, oops)

this quote-this MOMENT, really-hits so fucking hard. you have no idea how hard it hits. go watch black fucking sails, y'all.

tagging: @bitterfrosts , @yiling , @goldencorecrunches, @lanzhanshands.... @treemaidengeek ! feel free to ignore, guys!

[metamorphosingbrick]

IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT

Recently i wrote an assignment for shivali. One that i should have done for myself long time ago. 

Ten years down the line, i want to working in UN in their communications department. Visiting people and conveying the story of independence and life just like i am doing now. but to people who will look upto the scene. I want to be efficient in achieving my goals starting this moment in my life. 

It’s not important to not let people in, but to make sure that i have to be strong enough to let them break me so that like a phoenix i can rise from the ashes. It’s not about boys or heartbreaks - why should i let my happiness dwell in others. By the end of this decade, i want to be a practical person who is not afraid of people and what they will think but what will affect me and my existence. 

I want a 1:1 but 2:1 seems close for the hardwork i have been able to provide. I want to compete with myself and be better at what i do. This guy says whatever he does, “i do it perfectly”. There is so much to learn about him in this wholeheartedly said sentence. You understand how perfectly he makes the tea every morning. I wish i could staple a thank you on every time he takes an extra effort of making tea to a person he doesnt care about. 

The image of myself seems distorted sometimes but i want to align it together. Have an identical image in my myself mirror. I want to align it to fit my conscious. I want to evaluate everything i talk - putting my guards down when i think i should in front of some people- their perception about me. but the real self should also be proud of whatever we utter. Being silent i thought was the solution to it but honestly, being evaluative is the key to the hard times. It’s about how you evualate case stuies and accordingly present it. 

Right after i finish my masters - i want to go to geneva for my internship with UN.And come back to book my place in ireland with a critical skills visa and PR. Once she got the PR- she knew her life would turn monotonous, hence the idea of joining trekking groups as well as learning bharatnatyam as well as becoming the goal weight i should-would she held on. the idea was clear - everyday should be a better version of herself starting the sun rise. She directed her energy in loving others and herself to the extend that she didnt have to rely on another person. her joy lied in meeting new people and being efficient at work. Once she gets a job in BBDO, she exceled with her clients and soon moved to Google. There was no stopping. She knew what she wanted in life. She worked hard towards it.She could cherish the oppurtunity because she w=have had that dream since she started using computer. Excel in her job, work on data and understand the value generation in the same.

She had been with an IIT-ian hence she knew that they exceled not because they have brains but because they have a different outlook towards life. She didnt like IIT-ians because they are nerds but the outlook towards life changes when yo are in their company. That makes all the difference. An ideal IIT-ia boy who has studied abroad and planned to settle in Europe is the guy she willl be looking for. Eventually she finds a bengali guy and settles in with him. Though smart in his life, he never did the cliche romantic scene. He was a simple man just like her father who calculated every outcome and had forsight about every individual. She never expected love from him either, she was happy in herself. She knew after all the heartbreaks- she didnt want the cliche- she wanted a simple guy who knew her needs and necessities and respected it. Someone who treated her parents with respect and someone who played football or any sport. A guy who she can have converstaion like an adult and had knowledge about his roots and culture. A guy who could sit with his family and have conversations. A guy who with me- doesnt have to think that he isnt good enough because i am sure that he will be perfect. He would be my choosen one. 

WIth marriage in her life, she by now had quit smoking and adopted a green tea lifestyle. Something she always wanted to achieve. Something which she thought would be what her true self would want. Life is different when you are married but that shouldnt come in her way. She will be the same person, just abit thoughtful about the guy.

With Google paving her way to success, she applies to UN to join her brother in the bandwagon. Her smile when her father gets to know about the appointment letter in UN. Thats her dream - the dream of father feeling proud that he daughter finally made it to the dream organization in the world. The journey should be worth telling and sharing. A common- average but not so average girl made it against all the odds. 

With joining UN, my mission in life doesnt halt. I still want to make difference hence i go online and share my story to understand what stops people from achieving their dream. And provide a solution with how can they cross the hurdle just like i did. I want to survive and tell my journey out loud. Stand at the podium in singhania in hamsadwani- and say how i dreamt of coming and telling my story here when i was in school. Tell how i made a difference just like the school made in mine. Make everyone who knows me proud of knowing my exitence. I dont want to put people down with my success but to show everyone whoever thought iw ould go nowhere in life to relaise the power of silence and reams. dreams that do come true. 

Maybe everyone has the dream to look upto themselves and make a difference, be famous but i will be famous just because I want to. Just because i would put n efforts in making myslef capable of handling the challenges and finding a solution to every problem with all my heart. 

I will become famous and achieve every dream written here because i have the makings in me. 

I will have a job and a masters degree because i want to learn what everyone here is learning and apply it to my work. I want to be better version of myslef for my parents cause they will realise how they have bought up their daughter. Everyone who has loved me, it will be a victory for them. I want to see my father and mother - brimming with pride at my victory of getting a masters degree in DCU. I will pay for their lfight fares without hesitation and take them to any place they wish to go. I will take them anywhere they would point their finger at and get them whatever they would want in life. I will achieve victories for my mother so that she doesnt have to take bus and can donate whatever amount she would want in her life to whichever sick patient she can. I would want my baba to be happy with her daughter and content with the fact that his daughter could achieve his dreams of pursuing her masters abroad, settling with a great job there and living upto the standard. 

I aim to achieve success in life and in every step of my life, regardless of every failure i will face- i will conquer it with a smile. No matter how much i have to try , i will keep moving forward. and keep dreaming because if i can dream it, if i can say it, if i can think it, i can do it.