#still recovering from my 3 day birthday day-off bc i did not get any peace of mind during those days </3

[kof-xiii]

s-sparkrle on it's wedneday,

[mushroom-ooooooooooooooo]

Random life shit below the cut?? Yujhhhh a vent, ig?? Idk. Im just heated and on my period. I don't think anyones gonna see this 🧍‍♂️

Okay. So. Uhm. Hi.

Izzy here. I'm always here. I'm the only one running this account 🧍‍♂️.

So. School. Friendship drama. Health issues?? Damn. The holy grail.

Anyways. I have this one friend named Jackson (fake name). Jackson is basically kind of the definition of an only child except his mom is like,,,kinda crazy. And in February he had a birthday party at the mall. He invited EIGHT-TEEN PEOPLE?!#,@?#, and only ten of us (including him) show up. I had to give him a ride because he lives across the street from me and his mom "didn't feel like driving". I hate that woman.

I didn't want to go to the damn thing in the first place. I had UIL literally 2 days before the birthday thing and I had to stay home that friday. And I only had $7 left for money.

He wanted to see a movie, buy stuff at the mall, buy food at the mall, ect.ect. i have no problem with that, but my ass did not want to be there, and having no money didn't help either.

We were all sitting in the loud foodcourt of the mall. It was loud. People were chattering loudly without a care in the damn world. The sun was in my eyes. It was hot in the food court. I was already irritated that day, and being at the mall did not help. And having to be there because my parents and I took Jackson didn't help either.

So everyone gets their food and whatnot. Blah blah blah. Everyone has stuff but me. That's normal. Im used to that. Idc.

And then after they eat, people pair off. Without letting me know?? Just assuming I'm going to watch their stuff?? At least one of the others there asked, and I was like yeah sure wtv. Jackson doesn't ask, just assumes, and leaves his gifts n shit with me?? Like dude...ask first.

Jackson and two other people go off for a while, and then he comes back and he was going to leave again before I told him to take his gift bags. And then other people leave.

And then the last 3 people leave me alone at the table and I have a minor panic attack. Wasn't too bad. I was mostly just crying. (I have issues about being forgotten dw) yeah.

NO ONE TOLD ME WHAT THEY WERE DOING.

Literally no one. So I was just sitting in the middle of a food court by myself crying and then I get a call from my dad asking if I wanna sit with them (my parents) and I sit with them and apparently they saw the whole thing.

And then a few minutes later, Jackson asks if we can put his stuff in the car, but my mom (one of few based moments) tells him that I'm (me, Izzy) wasn't feeling well and that I needed to go home. Which was true. I wasn't feeling well at all. I was literally still recovering from doing Set Crew for one-act play that thursday. Uil is intensive.

So then he's like yea i understand i hope you feel better blah blah blah.

So then we start to leave and my mom was like do you wanna see any shops (bc i wasn't able to go into any shops or buy anything) so we look for hot topic but we couldn't find it so we leave. End of story, right? Nope.

Apparently, after that, Jackson was MIA for a while?? And he wanted to see a movie that was later, and he wanted our other friends to wait for him for TWO HOURS in a shop. And according to him everyone had been calling the wrong number for him?? But like,,,they'd also been calling him on Instagram and it was a whole ass trainwreck.

He did get home, by the way!! One of his other friends took him home.

I go to school that next monday and our friend Tyler (close, but fake name) wasn't talking to jackson anymore. And neither were most of the rest of the group. Jackson and Tyler basically bring ME into this whole thing, even though Drama literally stresses me out so badly, and I had UIL that next Wednesday 🧍‍♂️. So im like yall are fucking up my energy (because they were. They were fucking my peaceful, chill energy) and Jackson is like sorey if im bringing you into this 🥺.

AND THEN THE NEXT DAY HE TELLS ME TO REMIND HIM TO EITHER NOT HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARRY OR NOT INVITE PEOPLE WHO HOLD GRUDGES??? like??? Dude??? Thats what you're doing right now?? And bringing me into this before competiton?? When we literally have so much to do???

Might I add, that I was staying after school until almost 7pm during this?? I would get to school at 6:40am, school gets out at 2:30, and rehearsals were supposed to be until 6. I was consistently spending more time at school than Jackson, not complaining about it, not complaining about my personal life, being sleep deprived and absolutely dead, just for his ass to bring me into petty drama that has almost nothing to do with me.

And Jackson complains so fucking much. Like dudeee shut the fuuuuck uppp.

I'm sorry if i sound so rude rn, but im done with people. I would be homeschooled again if I didn't love theater so much.

Hes just so irritating. And he doesn't respect peoples boundaries and for me thats a big ass problem. I can't be around people who won't respect boundaries.

When we were doing our winter show, I was painting some props and Jackson not only fucks with me while im painting with wet paint on something that needs to look at least a little nice, but he does FOUR MORE TIMES.

It took me brandishing a wet paintbrush at him to get him to stop. And he's constantly touching me!!! And he was doing that there too!!!

And if there is one thing ANYONE knows about me, it is that I do not like being touched AT ALL unless your name is Jamie/willowhirl. Not even my mom randomly touches me because she knows how much it bothers it. And I've barely known Jackson. I've only known him since the very last day of our freshman year. Which was last year.

And I was already irritated with him because the boy could not do anything neatly to save his life. Our tech director told us to paint up and down and his dumbass was painting left to right, so I had to go back and fix his mistakes while he just goofs off playing cookie run or genshin or whatever.

Im sorry, but my 7 year old cousin even understands boundaries and rules. And Jackson just doesnt. And it drives me insane.

I know he's okay with touch, so on his birthday at school I told him happy birthday and shook his shoulders a little. I wasn't rough with him.

He did that to me on my birthday and I could feel my brain rattle a little. I think he gave me a shaken syndrome or something. Idfk. But I feel like I shoulf also mention that jackson is 6'8. Im 5'10. He's almost a whole foot taller than me. And he was shaking me like a damn bag of popcorn. When he knows I dont like being touched. When he knows I especially don't like being shaken. And when he knows my boundaries.

I respect his boundaries, but he doesn't respect mine, and that irritates me so much.

I even blocked him on here because he was complaining about seeing all of my Ghost reblogs. (It's almost as if im in a fandom. Crazy concept, ik) but he wasn't following anyone else but me and like...one other person. And he wasn't following tags either??

Like...don't complain about me using my tumblr the way I like to use it if you aren't using it how its supposed to be used at all.

Idk im just upset and im not in therapy anymore but oversharing to strangers on the internet is the best therapy, right???

[shitlessful]

@ 3:12 pm

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? Nope, in fact we are broken up

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? Definitely not. I thought I would be at a much happier place and achieved much bigger things at this point in life.

Do you like someone? Some feelings are still lingering

Is a best friend pissing you off right now? Nope, she never does

Are you happier now or three months ago? Honestly lol. This past 3 months in general have been pretty shitty. I hope things get better from here on out

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? Being able to sleep in a little.. lately that has been quite difficult

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? By 30? I hope it’ll fall in the range of 27-30 aha

Are you waiting for something? Yes. Waiting for myself to recover

If you could change your eye color would you? Ooooh, light brown hazel eyes

What was the weather like today? Clear sky and sunny

Do you think you’ll be married in ten years? I hope to be

Does your ex still love/like you? Lmao no. If he did, he wouldn’t have treated me like shit

Are you stubborn? Oh yeah, extremely

Do you tend to hold a grudge? I don’t really want to, but sometimes I can’t help

Where were you at 9am this morning? In bed

How has the week been? Pretty normal..

Did you go out or stay in last night? Stayed in after work

Something you do a lot? Chase my own thoughts in my head a lot

How many states have you lived in? Just one

Can you commit to one person? Yes. I’ve learned that I’m a really damn loyal person, even when that person wasn’t worth it

Who was the last person to hold your hand? Can’t recall

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? Ugh, there isn’t an exact number. But I always give out more than enough, and it’s so very sad

Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years? For sure. Closer than ever

What do you miss most about your ex? How nice he was

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Uhm, I can’t distinguish between attraction and comfort w/ him..

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? He’s a cheater

Something you really want right now? To be at a good place: physically, mentally, and emotionally.

How long have you liked the person you like? I don’t wanna say that I like anyone right now. Just a whole lot of hatred

Does any part of your body hurt right now? My arms when I stretch it, good hurting tho bc I worked it out the other day

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? No, we were in a dark room

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? Yeah I can. I remember innocently liking him before things got messy

Are you happy with the way things are going? I’m neutral about it. If I could choose, I wouldn’t want all this to be going on right now. But honestly, this will all be worth it one day

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Aha I doubt it. I want to focus on myself for a good while

What plans do you have for tomorrow? Just work

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn’t? All my fake roommates, when we broke up- I sadly lost my relationship w/ everyone at that house also

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Man, the amount of emotions I feel reading this question. I gave out way much more than I should’ve, to someone who walked all over my feelings multiple of times

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? Aha my cuz Ty, he kissed me on the forehead & cheeks. Does that count?

Do you and your last ex hate each other? I hate him rn yes. I do hope that one day I can free myself and not give a care anymore

When was the last time you were sick? Don’t remember, I never get sick

Are you one of those people who are always cold? My hands are always cold during the winter

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? Kind of, I wish I was better at saving

Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No. The two were my bf at one point, so there’s no regrets at all

When was the last time you got a haircut? I think in June?

Did you sing at all today? To the radio yeah

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? Control over the weather! I’d make it cold and gloomy all the time

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? I don’t

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? I think it’s the same for both

If you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? LOL. I would go for the experience cause why not

In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? Love

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? I gots one, I think it’s cute w/ a hint of wild

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? Skinny

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? Star break dancer

Honestly - can you say that looks don’t matter at ALL? Honestly, no. Physically looks actually play a role

When it comes to Baseball would you rather be on the field or in the stands? Neither, not really into baseball

I’ve got to know, who do you prefer: Mario or Luigi? Mario

Have you ever changed clothes in a public area (not a dressing room)? Yeah, at Coachella

How many months apart is your birthday from your best friends? Just 6 days

Yes or no: Techno music? No

Yes or no: pigtails? Yes

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? Diamonds are nice. But there other things I wish to have in life

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? Probs

Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yeah.. he was lazy and never really likes to shave

If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? I don’t think it would be easy, but one can do anything if they put their mind to it

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a letter P? Nope

Did you talk to one of your best friends today? What did you talk about? Not yet

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? Funny people

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? Never, thank goodness for that

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Yeah

How old is your oldest cousin? I think like in the 40′s

What if you saw your best friend holding hands with your ex? That would never happen

Your last relationship, who dumped who? I’m unsure. We both gave up together

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? 17

Is your home town nice? It’s humid af, but it could be nice

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? I forgot who last messaged me

When/where did your last hug take place? A hug... lol I cannot remember

Do you consider yourself mature enough to make your own decisions? Yeah, I think my I’m mature enough

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? No.. I wish mom was more into that stuff. The talking stories and being my friend type of mom

You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Myra or Abelhoe

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? “It don’t matta” & “It’s summer!” w/ Julieanne and Myra

Do you think someone has feelings for you? Are these feelings returned? No, and no

What if the last person you texted were to ask you out? Ahaha but he’s my cousin

Do you believe in love at first sight? Explain. I believe in it.. but I think the chance of it happening is extremely low. How could you love someone before knowing who they really are?

Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now? If so, where? And why would you prefer to be there? I’m at a coffee shop, it’s pretty peaceful so I’m alright

When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? Definitely, more than I wish they could affect me sometimes

Can you remember what you dreamt about last night? I think sex while I’m on my period or something aha