#stop being mentally ill forever and simply discover we've lost all our potentially maladaptive brain wrinkles and can now do whatever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mantisgodsdomain · 7 months

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Now that we're not too thick into things to lose sight of our own... self, things are both more manageable and a bit more embarrassing. It's been a while since we've fully broken down like this, and doing it again is a mixture of Not Fun and Something We Sort Of Feel We Should Have Grown Beyond. Something between the normal breakdown emotions and the awareness that we have the tools to handle this, we should be able to handle this - and yet, here we are again, not handling it. We are aware, in theory, that there's no accounting for irrational thinking, but in practice, we cannot help feeling a bit... something, with ourself. Keeping our own brain stable remains, as always, a full-time job. Awful work, as always. But it has to be done. When it comes down to it, there is no one who can help us navigate our own head but ourself, and it is our responsibility to ourself to make sure that we do not end up making things worse than where we started.

#we speak #it aaaall goes back to taking our brain apart and putting it back together again #we know in theory that the work is never done but in practice our brain just desperately wishes this was a one-and-done thing #things happen and now we have to handle reworking our brain's responses to things again #its happened before and it will likely happen again but we still need to do it because figuring out what is helpful and what is not is just #part of life. part of managing ourself. part of existing.#it is annoying to have to wrangle rewriting our brains own maladaptive coping mechanisms every once in a while #but it is miles beyond the alternative of clinging to the patterns and thoughts that've lead to harm either directly or indirectly #and so we will do it even if it feels like something we should be done with already #updates may die down a bit here as liveblogging every detail in our brain is in and of itself unhelpful once we're out of the immediate nee #it will do more harm than good to share every thought in our head long term even if part of our brain dearly wants to be on display #please do picture this as us sighing deeply before going to hammer nails into a supporting pillar in our headspace #this is not the first time and it will not be the last but we really wish it was the last because it would be great if we could simply #stop being mentally ill forever and simply discover we've lost all our potentially maladaptive brain wrinkles and can now do whatever #unfortunately it is not as simple as that and if we stopped being mentally ill we would likely be a very different person

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