#stopthelabels whoarewebecoming itsourchoice makeanimpact

[mubal4]

Who are you?

 How often have we gotten the question, “what do you do?” Most times I laugh at this; and I know the purpose, for the most part, is to start a conversation and understand if there is a connection.  There are times however, when the asker is looking to position or compare themselves; developing some type of judgement of us before they even get to know us.  We forget that we are all human beings, the same species.  I’ve had fun with this question over the last few years answering with, “I am a husband, father, and human being.”  Stops most in their tracks, there is a slight pause, and then it usually is, “no, but what do you do for a living?”  They may also respond with, “that’s awesome but not what I meant.”  I did get one person say, “that is really a great answer,” and we then proceeded to dig more into each other’s backgrounds, what inspires us, what gets us up in the morning……really who we are!

 We usually answer that question with, “salesperson, teacher, coach, truck driver, accountant, etc.”  But those are the things we do.  That is just like I am a runner, pianist, sculpture, or artist. All things we do.  Even my response of being a husband, father, and human being can be challenged as things we do.  But is it who we really are?  From my perspective the answer is yes that is who I am – husband, father, and human being. Each day, I am working hard to become better in each area.  That said, I don’t believe most folks care much about what I do and most also won’t care about who I am.  However, some will and the more we are open and authentic in sharing our “true us” I believe the more relatable we are to one another.        

 Today I heard a great nugget from TD Jakes, “there is more to you than what you do.”  Coincidentally, I had chosen already to write about who we are and was blessed with receiving that quote; timely 😊.  I get lost in that sometimes and must turn may awareness around.  There are the things we do, and I believe those things we do, in part, make us who we are; they are part of the journey and process. But, as stated, we are far more that those.  Here is an example that just hit me – I run and compete in ultramarathons.  So, based on our culture of labeling, I am a runner and more specific, an ultra-trail runner.  These are things I do that make me who I am though.  I’ve been fortunate to do this for six years now and it has been a work in process, and has taken a tremendous amount of sacrifice, not only from me but my family and friends.  You are not likely going to just decide to run 100 miles 😊; you must put the work in. Throughout these years, running, training, and competing in these races, the process can be brutal, just like anything in life we decide to pursue.  There can be so much satisfaction and joy, which is preceded by failures, mistakes, setbacks, and heartache.  All these obstacles and this adversity in which we go through, “doing the things we do,” produce qualities, characteristics and beliefs that make us, “who we are.”

 Let’s not get hung up on the labels anymore.  Hard not to listen to them out there, specially when they come from those, we that are most impactful to us.  And, how about those we can impact – who are we becoming for them?  What are we doing, for them?  Going back to the example above, those qualities, characteristics, and behaviors that are making me who I am are also being shared with my daughter’s and others I am so fortunate to connect with.  Yes, what we do does matter, specially when we have the chance to mold others.  I think it is pivotal that what we are doing is, in some way, truly aligned to who we want to become.  I also think that you may not be doing that thing that you were meant to do…..YET!  I understand there are folks that are not fulfilled or happy with their career.  That is okay, my question is how are you doing it though? What we do can “just be a job;” there is nothing wrong with that but, do can you impact others and learn from those situations that may suck? Does your family see you, each day, getting up early, heading out the door, and coming back at the end of the day?  Even when they know that what you are doing is not satisfying your desires? There are some lessons there, and maybe some choices to be considered?

 We have the choice to change our situation or change our attitude towards it.  What we do is not who we are in most cases.  However, what we do can help us mold who we want to become.

 “Don’t put a period where God intended a comma to be.” – TD Jakes