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captain-aralias · 3 years

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Restoration Ecology: Epilogue

Simon has never forgiven Baz for ruining his life at the start of eighth year. He’d hoped never to see Baz again. Ever. But when Baz applies for a position on the Coven, it’s impossible not to hire him. So – now, they’re working together. And as much as Simon wants to continue hating Baz, the dead spots between them are starting to heal …

Chapter 9 of 9; 51,076w; Explicit, Complete

Read the Epilogue on AO3

Or start from the beginning

Art:

Chapter 4 by @shemakesmeforget

Chapter 5 by @cutestkilla

Chapter 6 also by cutestkilla

Chapters 1-7 by @letraspal

some bonus material below the cut 👇

Times change

i started writing Restoration Ecology before AWTWB and before I wrote Classroom Politics! i didn’t get very far.... i don’t have the original draft, just the bit where i tried to re-write it but there was too much that wasn’t working - mitali was now complaining about shepard OR (in one draft) potentially being weird about agatha being gay (”Not everyone managed to get their daughters married off at Watford” - you can see it the first time i shared some WIP back in november 2021, but now agatha is queer it’s super awkward!) . i hated it, but still wanted to keep mitali being rude about simon.

it’s a large part of why i scrapped this introductory section, along with the fear that i was spending far too long in the pre-baz narrative. i wanted him in the story as soon as possible.

but - this is how it originally started:

“All right,” Welby says. “Well, that only leaves one final item of business, then. Which is that, as some of you may know, Anika Shawcross has tended her resignation to the Coven.”

Everyone around me groans. So do I. It’s not that I particularly liked Anika. (She was all right. Big fan of dogs.) But we all know what’s coming next.

Interviews.

I hate interviews. I hate having to think of questions. It’s awful, even if the person’s good. And if they’re bad, it’s worse. I’m not good at pretending to be interested. Or not yelling at someone if they say something racist. The really bad ones won’t let it go, either – they’ll tell me why I made the wrong decision every time I see them.

I managed to get out of interviewing new Coven members once – just after I joined – but since then I’ve been on every panel. This is because part of interviews, Welby says, is selling yourself to the applicant as an attractive place to work. And apparently a lot of people really want to work with me.

“I’m not even the Chosen One anymore,” I protested the first time I heard this. “I’m not even magic.”

“Because you saved the World of Mages,” Welby said reasonably. “Multiple times.”

“Don’t oversell him,” Mitali said. (I’d made the mistake of complaining in front of both of them.) “It’s because you’re single and almost handsome, Simon. And not everyone is happy to marry their daughters off to actual Normals.”

Penelope says her mum is coming round to the idea of Shepard – existing. Being engaged to her daughter. But I wouldn’t say she likes him. Or me, really.

Welby and I changed the subject pretty quickly.

“We’ll be opening applications later this week,” he says now. “If you know someone who we ought to consider, please tell them to get in touch. Meeting adjourned.”

I usually hang around a bit after meetings, but

Martin Bunce and the dead spots

notably, also, the person resigning the coven in the above excerpt is NOT martin. i wrote most of chapter 1 without making that call, which now seems ridiculous. i had this useful conversation with @otherworldsivelivedin back in september -

aralias: scenes i've got planned so far go something like (everything is from simon's POV - probably) : - simon interviews baz, basically written. he has to hire him, baz is too good, curses, also hot - simon knows he likes men now, this sucks - simon makes baz come to the pub with him, he asks him a bunch of extra questions even though he's already got a job, backstory! (haven't QUITE worked out what the AU is, but i think it's something like... nastasha came to see baz at pitch manor rater than telling simon, so baz called for the mage to be arrested; the mage knew about it, panicked and tried to get simon's power - so the normal humdrum stuff happened, but not at christmas. simon and baz never had a truce, and although simon acknowledges that baz to some extent saved his life and was right, he blames him for everything that happened, and they've barely spoken for 10 years) - during the pub visit baz says something like, 'if i'd known this was an interrogation rather than a date, i'd have worn a different shirt' - simon recovers badly, baz asks wheher it is a date - they end up having sex in a toilet - absolutely nothing is resolved. this is what makes it different from classroom politics - theeeeen.... things get a bit hazier for me, but basically simon and baz are now sort of partners on the coven, and there are various set pieces that are supposed to show simon the kinds of things that he learned during the watford truce, but it's also muddled by the fact that simon thinks they're having hate sex - this is where i need the brainstorming   aralias:  the ideas i have are: - simon's main job on he coven is definitely something about filling deadspots back in - something to do with what happened to him with smith, to some extent they just need to find them - and go there... dont know much more about this. the smith smith-richards plot definitely happened already - maybe a fake chosen one thing? - nobody's written it yet, so i'm definitely having the thing i wrote into carryonprompts where they have to go undercover in a vampire den and simon has to pretend to be baz's vampire thrall/pet - some bitey stuff, for verisimilitude - something about simon's relevatives on the mage's side - he already knows them, he and baz stay over. not sure what's going on here   aralias: all of these are super drawn from canon - so i think maybe i need some that i just made up........   aralias:  i probably want them in that order, as well - i can see an escalating path of 'how baz reacts/what simon thinks about him' through those things   aralias:  might need a few more smaller things at the beginning where simon doens't like or trust him .....   aralias: but i also dont want it to go on too long........   otherworldsivelivedin: Yes let's have this meeting... in a pub... nothing to do with you being hot in the slightest Baz swear this isn't a date.

OOOHHH, I quite like the way this AU has been twisted on it's head. So you still get everything we needed but the truce. And Simon still gets to feel conflicted over the Mage and Baz's hand in it all.

AHAHAHA I WAS RIGHT ITS A DATE. vindication. LOVE THIS. SO much room for tension I CAN TASTE IT NOW. Plus then the following angst of.... oh fuck, we just fucked. But like. Lets not discuss that and pretend life is normal. God I want to beta so bad.

So re. being on the coven together. Is it like... linear? Or are the previous bulletpoints flashbacks that we find out in stages/all at once (like a prologue etc.) and it opens with them already on the coven?

YES TO THRALL/PET.   otherworldsivelivedin: I think, when they first start working together, there's a lot of room for Simon being mistrustful of whatever Baz says/any and all of his opinions. And bickering there. Like Simon having to work through his internalised defence against Baz, so that's fantastic. And the tension and bickering easily leads into sex and can be something that keeps Simon thinking it's just hate sex ... if it's always happening after moments like these, at first otherworldsivelivedin: it's interesting you're keeping the smith richards thing alive and still happening. If you include that, the fallout will likely need to be a large plot point    otherworldsivelivedin:  so the filling in of holes... is tied to people getting their magic back from Smith Richards?   otherworldsivelivedin: hmm  otherworldsivelivedin:  so the natural progression is... they work out how to fill the holes, and Simon's magic also comes back?   otherworldsivelivedin:  re. the mage relatives, you could easily have them forced to visit Wales because there's a huge deadspot there. And could tie that into the vampire den, if they go to one in Wales--different then, slightly, from canon. Need to find a reason for them to go... maybe there's another vampire mage like Baz, and he has info  otherworldsivelivedin: omg hilarious maybe one of Simon's magical relatives got turned into a vampire mage all this time    otherworldsivelivedin: sorry I'm getting carried away   otherworldsivelivedin: that's a much longer fic   otherworldsivelivedin: also, what's Baz's job in all this? Like why is he needed specifically? I see you said that's basically wrriten. Has he specialised in something relevant to the holes? or is Simon in need of a vampire liaison    aralias: this is a VERY good point - i think the coven know he's a vampire, maybe because it came out as part of the thing where baz accused the mage. but i could make it more specific. and/or have martin retire, rather than baz. in my mind - they're sort of like... i guess what the mage's men should have been. like - they sort out problems, and also vote on laws. and we need someone to help sort out problems - and baz .... hasn't relaly done that properly, but has a good theoretical background, whereas simon has a good background in sorting things out   aralias:  in terms of timeline - them being on the coven will (i think) be straightofrward A-B narrative, but we need to give some information about what happened in the past, why they aren't together, why simon still hates him   aralias: interesting that you think the smith richards thing needs to be big - i was thinking... throaway might need to think about that more. and YEAH ... the wales deadspot thing works well. maybe i just need to focus it around deadspots, and that's what simon and baz do   otherworldsivelivedin: ah yes, sorry in my head I thought the deadspot thing was the plotline you were basing the fic on, and you were trying to figure out how Smith Richards would fit into that! ...hence the filling the deadspots/getting their magic back angle when I said about it being a big plot point. but also. Could not be that at all aralias: I think it’s relevant because it activated simons nothing ness/magic repelling thing It otherwise it’s not relevant I also think…. He’s had his wings taken off

otherworldsivelivedin: ooooh

aralias: Which id never write usually but he didn’t have baz so no reason to keep them - and it makes all the car rides easier 😂

otherworldsivelivedin: completely valid tbh it's so much easier not having to write them does he still have his tail?

aralias: Nope

otherworldsivelivedin: he's going Full Normal™️

aralias: Well - still magic repelling! But yeah - something like that I think I maybe was thinking the dead spots thing primarily then awtwb and i wanted to write this vampire thing 🤣 and so I keep adapting what it is/I started to write it like 9 months ago But it works much better as you suggest

otherworldsivelivedin: it's interesting that he's on the coven but didn't choose to keep his wings when they could have helped him in like detective situations might need to explain that away

aralias: I think he got them off before coven

otherworldsivelivedin: makes sense makes sense

otherworldsivelivedin: I like that there's pre-laid growth already in the history before the fic. He wanted to get rid of all ties... and then joined the coven anyways. Because, like we feel, he's never going to really want to be away from magic, just needs better experiences 

this is why i was able to write the whole fic quite quickly in the end, because i’d been thinking about it for a LONG TIME.

Excalibur and chapter 5 onwards

one of the ideas i had i never used (but seemingly hadnt thought of back in september i guess) was a plotline about simon’s sword and discovering his family ties to arthur. you can see the remains of it in the wales chapter.

people were talking about outlines on discord (invite here, if you want it!) and i decided to write down the thoughts i had at that point. as you can see - starts REALLY detailed and tails off dramatically...

by the time the Wales chapter was already 12k, i was like - i’m cutting this plotline. maybe i’ll do something else with it later.

5 – Office Politics? (is this a funny joke re Classroom Politics, or just lame?)

Sex in Baz’s car – why don’t we do this in my car, it’s much bigger? Yes, but mine is much nicer.

Coven meeting, politics

Simon’s flat – it’s not nice, Simon could live elsewhere but why bother– Shepard/Penny in USA. Fiona/Nico out in the country, she gave me this flat – I think she felt sorry for me. Why would she feel sorry for you?

vampire babies, aren’t you gay. Are you gay … Pan, maybe.

“are you sure you don’t want sex

Blowjob – anal, Baz learned to cast silently at school, laughing, it’s nice

You should get another haircut – I can’t afford it, you literally told me you can – Mage’s money, Simon angry but its OK

Baz doesn’t come to work on Monday – Simon freaking out, goes to his house. Baz is asleep, he’s been sleeping through the weekends to recover magic, still tired – Simon yells at him, tells Baz he can slow down – they still don’t quite talk

6 – the Once and Future Kin (maybe this is split over the next two chapters)

Wales

Dead spot, near Simon’s relatives, talk about the Mage

Yeah, they can share a bed…

Baz first time bottoming – asks Simon to take his shirt off

Baz mourning the wings

Simon tells Baz he’s only slept with people he was serious about, Baz is shocked but still doesn’t tell Simon he’s in love with him

What are you going to do once all this is over? IDK. You could do anything.. (I can’t) What are you going to do? You really could do anything… No. Baz tells Simon about the breakdown, Simon feels better…. They match, but also he thinks – I could do something, I’m not as pathetic as that

Excalibur? Baz willing to stay to investigate Simon’s past, maybe – this could be a nice thing. Maybe

7 - Let It All Out

“I think I’m in love with Baz.”

Simon talking to therapist about how he feels he can move on, doesn’t need to do penance – going to go and do something else.

How does he tell him? TBC

8 – Epilogue

Simon and Baz doing whatever they do next - TBC but it should be magic

BAZ POV

Let It All Out

this chapter was such a pain, you have no idea. yet by that point i was riding high on the reception of the fic so somehow i still made myself write it in a week.

i re-wrote the confession several times. here are two three of them:

“Thanks,” I tell him. “It’s not my birthday or anything.”

“No,” Baz says. “I know. Simon––”

“You said my name,” I say stupidly. The thing he hardly ever does, except when he really means it.

“Yes,” Baz says. “I came to tell you that I’m in love with you. This isn’t just sex for me. It never was. You’re the most wonderful man I’ve ever––”

I don’t let him finish. I now think he’s got a whole speech planned (Baz is dramatic, I forgot that) and I don’t think I can listen to the whole thing without kissing him first.

I kiss him – I don’t know what to do with the roses, and they get tangled a bit in Baz’s hair, but he doesn’t mind. He’s got his arms round my waist and we’re kissing and he’s in love with me. Oh.

I break away. “I’m in love with you too. I was going to tell you when you got back.”

Baz’s smile is like the sunrise. “I’m back.”

“I know. You’re at my gran’s house.

and another time with more austen -

“Oh,” I say. (Stupidly.)

“I want us to be together properly,” Baz says. “If you want that. Because I love you. I’m desperately in love with you. It’s driven me mad for years.”

He stops, like he might be waiting for me to say something and then continues anyway. Anxiously.

“Um. What do you think about me?”

“I thought you were Mr Darcy,” I say and then wish I hadn’t.

Baz’s face twists in confusion. “What?”

“You know, pine away forever without saying anything.”

"Snow, you do realise that Mr Darcy actually proposed to Elizabeth twice."

i cut this because a) the next line is obviously like ‘are you proposing??’ and i didn’t want to go there, and also b) it was clearly me trying to sort of downplay the confession because i was embarrassed about it.

and another:

“These are for you,” he tells me, as though he’s making sure there’s no confusion about this. (Too late, unfortunately.) He’s talking quickly, stumbling over his words like I’ve never seen him do before. “I’m sorry – I don’t know if you even like roses, and they’re only the best I could find in London, at short notice––”

“Baz, it’s all right. It’s not my birthday––”

“I love you,” Baz interrupts. “I should have said it earlier. I don’t just want to have sex. I want to grow old with you.”

I bite back a laugh. And a comment about vampire aging. Neither are appropriate right now.

“I was just looking at houses,” I tell him.

“OK,” Baz says, kind of annoyed. “Interesting, but random.”

“No, it isn’t

talking to @giishu about it (as i do) was helpful (as it often is).

[21:27, 06/02/2022] aralias: i've brought in the salisbury's and the fic has immediately turned into a richard curtis movie - to the extent that i literally wrote in a reference to notting hill [21:28, 06/02/2022] aralias: were you enjoying the 6 chapters of everyone being sad and angry? well, that's all over now. it's just rich people sitting around in large houses and last minute confessions [21:29, 06/02/2022] giishu: 🤣 [21:30, 06/02/2022] giishu: sad angry and horny ...

[22:17, 06/02/2022] aralias: i have written a few more comedy paragraphs

[22:18, 06/02/2022] aralias: i have no idea what readers will make of it, but i acutally think this IS right because what has been missing from their relationship is romance.........

[22:21, 06/02/2022] giishu: So, he must be here, on his way somewhere else. Maybe the hospital – that would explain the flowers. Or a birthday party.

[22:21, 06/02/2022] giishu: SIMON

[22:21, 06/02/2022] aralias: 🤣

[22:21, 06/02/2022] aralias: is this ok? you can tell me if it's too much and it feels like we've landed in a different fic

[22:22, 06/02/2022] giishu: well, you don't really know why Baz is there with the flowers

[22:22, 06/02/2022] giishu: well, you can guess 🤣 but it seems out of the blue, which makes more sense if you know the steps he went through

[22:23, 06/02/2022] aralias: is that a good thing, or a random thing - i mean, he'll explain it

[22:26, 06/02/2022] giishu: 🤣 I mean, I like it, it's a bit awkward but very sweet at the same time

[22:26, 06/02/2022] giishu: also you do want to know why he cut his visit short to show up, slightly rumpled, but with flowers, at Simon's gran's door :P

[22:27, 06/02/2022] giishu: also I'm glad Baz spoke first

[22:27, 06/02/2022] giishu: 🤣 because Simon would have said something like "do you need a lift to the hospital?" which would have ruined the mood a touch

[22:27, 06/02/2022] aralias: 😂🤣

[22:27, 06/02/2022] aralias: that's hilarious, i wish i'd thought of it

[22:28, 06/02/2022] giishu: 🤣 well, if you want to ruin the mood, go ahead

[22:29, 06/02/2022] giishu: imagine showing up for a grand declaration of love and then getting derailed before you even get a word in

[22:29, 06/02/2022] aralias: i can definitely imagine that

[22:34, 06/02/2022] giishu: well, Simon does deserve people showing up at his door with flowers for him

[22:38, 06/02/2022] giishu: but his thoughts about Baz in this chapter have been:

1) I love him

2) I have always loved him

3) maybe I'll run into him at the hairdressers: after all, he was there the last time

4) I miss him

5) fuck I wish we'd already made the sex tape so I'd have something to wank to

6) I'm telling Penny about this so this is official now, might as well send out the wedding invites

7) I cannot think about Baz anymore, I'm gonna go and buy a house

8) I wonder whether Baz wants this house to start our family in

9) Baz? At my door? it's more likely than you think

10) well clearly he can't be bringing flowers for me, must be an emergency

[22:39, 06/02/2022] aralias: 😅

[22:39, 06/02/2022] aralias: those are reasonable thoughts?

[22:39, 06/02/2022] giishu: for a Simon?

[22:39, 06/02/2022] giishu: yes

[22:39, 06/02/2022] aralias: 🤣

[22:44, 06/02/2022] giishu: and I mean, it is tonally different, but that's also 'cause Baz isn't there :D but I like the way Simon acts like he still WAS there - it shows how Baz would in fact fit into his life.

[22:44, 06/02/2022] giishu: he makes space for him

[22:44, 06/02/2022] giishu: even when he isn't there, yet

[22:44, 06/02/2022] giishu: 'cause he wants more!

[22:44, 06/02/2022] giishu: is good

[22:44, 06/02/2022] aralias: 🤞

[22:45, 06/02/2022] giishu: Simon running an elaborate daydream scenario where Baz is already his partner, trying to fit it around his current flat, realises it won't work well, immediately goes houseshopping irl :D

[22:46, 06/02/2022] aralias: he also got his life together enough that he felt confident buying a flat with other people's money

[22:46, 06/02/2022] giishu: I noticed :D

here we are again, talking about making everything MORE INTENSE. here’s the version we were talking about if you want to follow it and spot the differences. (basically, this version doesn’t have ANY of the parts people quoted back to me in the comments. that’s how you know you did ok with those edits and you can go big in this fandom, it’s ok)

[23:16, 07/02/2022] giishu: I love that Baz has to be invited in still. and how he is clearly trying to impress Simon's family.

[23:17, 07/02/2022] giishu: buuuuuuuuuuuuuut, I feel.... the feelings bit needs more. it feels too easy somehow? And I know that's sort of the point, that they're in a place where they can say these things AND believe them, even coming from each other

[23:17, 07/02/2022] aralias: i know what you mean

[23:18, 07/02/2022] aralias: back at simon's flat there is EMOTION

[23:18, 07/02/2022] aralias: but i think i will add some more simon thoughts in around the declaration if nothing else

[23:18, 07/02/2022] giishu: yeah

[23:18, 07/02/2022] giishu: gimme more Baz descriptions

[23:18, 07/02/2022] aralias: of him?

[23:19, 07/02/2022] giishu: is he fidgeting? nervous? what sort of cravat is he wearing?

[23:19, 07/02/2022] aralias: it's definitely all too fast

[23:19, 07/02/2022] aralias: 👍

[23:19, 07/02/2022] giishu: it feels like a moment where as it's happening, you realise you want to always remember it, so you try and notice everything

[23:20, 07/02/2022] aralias: yes, that's nice - simon could even think THOSE WORDS

[23:20, 07/02/2022] aralias: let's see

[23:20, 07/02/2022] giishu: though I guess at some point you focus on the most important bit :P

[23:20, 07/02/2022] aralias: it was a hard scene to write for lots of reasons......... one of which is that i was like, this will be new: baz never does this

[23:20, 07/02/2022] aralias: and then i was like - baz, what are you going to say

[23:20, 07/02/2022] aralias: and simon is refusing to help you, because that's the point of the scene

[23:20, 07/02/2022] aralias: /o\

[23:22, 07/02/2022] giishu: let's see... an overly anxious man is about to confess his undying love

[23:22, 07/02/2022] giishu: 🤣 I bet he gave a peptalk to himself in the car

[23:22, 07/02/2022] giishu: you can do this, Basilton! and what's more, you HAVE to do this!

[23:23, 07/02/2022] giishu: Penny wouldn't threathen you out of the blue!

[23:23, 07/02/2022] giishu: he wouldn't tell Penny if he wasn't sure

[23:23, 07/02/2022] giishu: right

[23:23, 07/02/2022] giishu: RIGHT?

[23:23, 07/02/2022] giishu: RIGHT!

[23:23, 07/02/2022] aralias: yes 👍

[23:23, 07/02/2022] giishu: that must have been an interesting florist encounter too

[23:24, 07/02/2022] aralias: yeah - he was not thinking clearly, he probably remembered he'd left simon's door open while paying and then was like -f uck, should i go back

[23:24, 07/02/2022] aralias: NO IM RIGHT HERE

[23:24, 07/02/2022] giishu: "a clearly unhinged man steps inside your shop. just another typical day of being a florist"

[23:25, 07/02/2022] giishu: I'm picturing the same vibe as Bernard doing taxes now 🤣

[23:26, 07/02/2022] giishu: can you help me find his favourite flowers? wait, does he have favourite flower? oh gods, why don't I know this???? I'll just get roses. Yeah, roses. Red ones. Very romantic.

[23:27, 07/02/2022] giishu: riding that adrenaline high of kicking down a door :D

[23:27, 07/02/2022] giishu: and then of knowing Simon likes him

[23:27, 07/02/2022] giishu: can't stop

[23:27, 07/02/2022] giishu: might overthink

[00:06, 08/02/2022] aralias: .... i've made baz a lot more crazy

[00:06, 08/02/2022] aralias: i'll think about it again tomorrow 🤔

[22:32, 11/02/2022] aralias: got an ending for this chapter............... final lines are perhaps a bit dodge, but i will think about it over night

[22:32, 11/02/2022] aralias: your thoughts appreciated if you have time 🙏

[22:33, 11/02/2022] aralias: i also tweaked a lot of the opening to make simon more crazy too

Other deleted scenes / small changes

slightly different ending to chapter 1, where the fallout is in that chapter (totally forgot i wrote this, and kept it which is even weirder) -

Baz is coming. His eyes shut, his mouth open as he groans softly. It’s a lovely sound. I think about kissing him again, swallowing it, pulling the sound deep inside myself. But the sex is over now. That feels like crossing a line. And besides, my brain’s coming back online – pointing out just how weird this whole thing is.

I just came here to find out what Baz was thinking. Why he’d want to work with me. I still don’t know. I’ve just made things even weirder between us.

I don’t look at him as I zip myself back up. Baz probably isn’t looking at me either.

We don’t have to talk about this, do we?

“Guess I’ll see you on Monday

This bit from chapter 5 - i already shared this in the comments

I stop myself from saying: Baz, I’m so much more attracted to you than I was ten minutes ago, let’s have sex. It’s kind of pointless. I was already itching to rip his dark-grey 'I’m taking democracy seriously' suit off him when I assumed he was still mourning Thatcher. “Waste of a vote,” I say instead.

He raises an eyebrow. “When I want your advice, Snow, I’ll be sure to ask for it.”

That should mean never, but it’s weird. The way he says it makes it feel almost warm. Like maybe Baz is flirting with me, rather than insulting me. (Maybe all the sex has gone to my brain.) Whatever it is, it feels like it’s worth seeing where this conversation is going. Just out of curiosity.

“If you want, I could teach you to drop your H’s,” I offer. “Since you missed out at school and now have no idea how to do a decent Cockney accent.”

Baz smiles and shakes his head. “I actually did extra-curricular drama during my Bachelor’s degree. So, you’d better Adam and Eve, I can rabbit proper, me old china.”

“That’s terrible,” I say, laughing. “That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”

Baz doesn’t seem offended. I’m pretty sure he’s joking – Merlin – at his own expense. “You wouldn’t say that if you’d heard me give my Artful Dodger,” he tells me.

“You mean it gets worse?”

“Oh, piss off,” Baz says, but not like he means it. Not the way we’ve said those words to each other hundreds of times before. More like the way I tell Penny to piss off when she’s teasing me about watching television made for children.

It’s making me want to kiss him. (Not that I want to kiss Penny when we argue – or ever – but Penny isn’t a six-foot tall vampire with a well-fitted suit, pretty eyes and killer cheekbones.) (No offense, Penny.) It’s making me wonder what having sex with Baz would be like if we actually liked each other. Not that that’s going to happen, this is just a good conversation – but I find myself eying Baz’s lips anyway. They really are very kissable.

obviously i re-used this for the epilogue, as i hated the dodger impression but i loved baz doing university theatre.

and.... we can end with a kind of weird bit of failed sex from chapter 7:

He shakes his head. “No. I’m sorry.”

I pull out all the way, binning the condom as Baz keeps apologising.

“Sorry, I thought I could do it.”

“Hey, it’s all right,” I say, stretching out beside him. Remembering how calm Baz was earlier when I was freaking out about staying, and trying to channel that calm for him, now. “I don’t mind. Really.”

“I shouldn’t have suggested it.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“Really?” Baz says witheringly. “Even now?”

“Ten seconds of perfection is still perfection.”

i think there may still be some more spin-off material from other sources. @royalasstronaut has said she’s keen to write some baz POV, and i am KEEN too. i’ll advertise and put it in the tag. thanks for reading <3

#carry on #snowbaz #my content #my deleted scenes #restoration ecology

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airoasis · 6 years

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A cognitive psychologist explains the real motivation behind 'Cloud Trutherism' conspiracy theories

When I was 18, Naomi Wolf's TheAppeal Misconceptionshaped my ideas about sex, attractiveness, and life as a woman. To sum up: It's all controlled by men! So I was alarmed to discover that the prominent feminist scholar has turned to forming ideas about who manages the weather-- specifically, by tweeting relentlessly about concealed chemical spraying, unknown cloud patterns, and plans to manipulate the weather condition. Wolf is a cloud truther.Cloud Trutherism(my own term for it )is among many conspiracy theories surrounding climate modification. It is not your standard environment rejection, however rather a relentless belief that airplanes are the real and neglected cause of environment modification. It's worth mentioning here that the carbon effect of air travel is to blame for a considerable partof emissions, but that's not the Cloud Truther cause.Adherents 'beliefs vary from the rather benign(cloud-seeding projects are having runaway and largely disregarded results on the environment) to the extreme(the federal government is secretly utilizing aircraft for geoengineering and spraying its people with disease-causing chemicals), but it all boils down to: It cannot simply be carbon emissions and other greenhouse gases. The scientists are wrong, and, depending on exactly what part of the web you land upon, part of a dubious international plot to manage the climate.You basically have two choices when it comes to a challenging issue like

environment change, says Stephan Lewandowsky, a professor at the University of Bristol who studies the psychology and cognitive theory of conspiracy theories." You can either accept the science and say,'we need to handle this problem,'and then look for the services least offending to your worldview. Or you say,'the problem doesn't exist!'You deny the problem. The minute you do that, you have to find out ways to validate that to yourself. "Conspiracy theories are security blankets. They protect those that support them from their own duty in the crisis in question-- mass shooting conspiracists don't want to challenge their attachment to guns, an anti-Semitic conspiracist wants to think she lost her task because of a Jewish world domination plot, and environment conspiracists don't desire to change their behavior.While it's appealing simply to mock this type of thinking, climate-related conspiracy theories are actively counterproductive

to environment action."Although often parodied as insignificant dreams amused by disenfranchised people on the fringes of society, conspiracy theories can affect what ordinary individuals mean to do in important domains,"found one study by Karen Douglas, a psychologist at the University of Kent who studies conspiracy theories.I wanted to speak with a Cloud Truther to understand the people behind these theories-- and how they might react to the point that stated theories eliminate them of any responsibility to, state, restrict one's carbon emissions.Dave Dahl is

the author of one site frequently pointed out by Wolf, artificialclouds.com.(He's not Dave Dahl of"Dave's Killer Bread" popularity, nor Dave Dahl, the climate-denying Minnesota meteorologist.) Dahlradio voice, does accept that climate changeis

real. While he does not align with the more extreme beliefs within cloud trutherism, he discovers the explanation of how environment change creates more severe weather occasions to be"too abstract."He believes climatologists aren't paying sufficient focus on the role of cloud seeding-- a genuine practice involving spraying clouds from above with silver iodide that(typically)city governments use to promote rain and snow in cases of, for example, extreme dry spell-- and the water component of airplane emissions, which he views as the main reasons for environment change.Dahl explains how his time as a previous navigator in the Navy included a great deal of skygazing-- and observed, he states, a growing number of aircraft routes throughout the sky. He asks me whether I have actually ever seen a blue sky "end up being cloudy from jets, "which I tell him I have not, but I likewise admit that I do not spend significant time staring upwards. He's observed it happening prior to a rainstorm in California where he lives, he states-- clear proof that the clouds are being engineered to produce rainstorms.Which is how we get to Cyclone Harvey: Clearly a product of cloud-seeding, Dahl tells me. This is the subject of a 20-minute YouTube video by cloud-seeding enthusiast Jim Lee. The proof? According to a county memo, Culverson County, far on the west end of Texas, took part in cloud-seeding on August 25, the day that Typhoon Harvey made landfall in Houston. Dahl describes that the storm travelled through improved clouds-- and probably "loads more in other Western states"-- on its method to Houston, which is what made it so extreme. "But Typhoon Harvey came through the Gulf, "I said."It didn't travel through West Texas or other states on its method to Houston." "Aha-- hmm,"Dahl reacted."Well, I guess if it came that way

that's probably not the case. I question if that's real?"( It is true.)"Maybe we should look a little more closely."

If you all the best believed that airplane were the single greatest threat to the state of the world, wouldn't you avoid flying? Dahl, for one, does not." We're all part of the issue. I'm unsure the response is flying less. Possibly the response is stop weather adjustment and see exactly what occurs, however that would be really challenging to do, "he said. Nor does Dahl believe that specific changes-- consuming less, driving electrical, eating less meat-- make sufficient of a distinction to matter.I asked Douglas, the University of Kent professor, whether conspiracy theories about environment modification will proliferate as proof of it ends up being a growing number of challenging to neglect."Individuals will strongly hold onto their

beliefs even in the face of inconsistent evidence, so it's hard to envision conspiracy thinking reducing,"Douglas wrote to me. "But I'm uncertain if it would increase.

"Lewandowsky, the University of Bristol teacher, says that there's proof of a method to "inoculate "against conspiracy theories, which's instilling a sense of control. "For instance, even just saying: 'We have actually currently started to deal with the issue, however we need to increase our efforts much more.'That is a more empowering message than, 'It's so big, it's horrendous, and we haven't even

started resolving it. 'If I tell you that, that's really demotivating! That's a difficult ask! "I believe if people know what to do about environment modification, and they feel they can do this without hurting too much, possibilities are they're less hesitant, less in denial of the problem."To obtain back to Wolf: As Sarah Ditum explained in The New Statesman in 2014, The Appeal Misconception was in fact exposing a conspiracy-- the patriarchy!-- but that was one turned out to be real. And it's yielded a healthy movement of women( and some guys)who work to neutralize the damaging forces of sexist marketing and media.I felt a reasonable quantityof guilt even composing this article. Our communities are certainly changing, which elicits a real, documented sense of loss. And I get the sense, poring through unlimited paperworks of cloud-streaked sky in the chemtrail neighborhood, that individuals consumed with the patterns of clouds are grieving a change they do not manage. I don't desire to ridicule anyone who fears the exact same things I do-- that the world is altering, and I can't control it, and it just appears to be becoming worse. I do wish they were much better notified, a desire that will undoubtedly bring the fires of the cloud-seeding truther community down upon the inbox.More than anything, I hope that a young female like a teen me, who sees Naomi Wolf as a source of truth and authority, will not discover herself waist-deep in the environment conspiracy theory web and believe:" Wow, there's really absolutely nothing I can do about this." By Eve Andrews, Grist

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