#surge is not my fave but her pov is very intriguing

[beevean]

Let Go

AU where Eggman’s base isn’t falling apart during the Sonic vs. Surge fight, but she is.

(or: Sonic actually being nice to Surge wasn’t included in her programming)

Warnings: sporadic swearing, violent thoughts, self-loathing/borderline suicidial thoughts.

I put all the changes from canon in the notes.

AO3 link: here.

 “You can’t let Sonic the Hedgehog roam free. He is a manipulative gaslighter, who has the whole world wrapped around his little finger. He will look down on you and pretend to feel sorry for you, but don’t be fooled: his only priority is himself and his amusement. He’ll pretend to offer choices to people, but he only wants them to do what he wants. He’s a hypocrite who has no respect for anyone. He’s not worthy to be called a ‘hero’. You have to stop him.”

“Wow, doc, this Sonic sure sounds like a jerk. Guess I have some competition, haha!”

~

“All I have is this! And ‘this’ is nothing! I’m nobody! I-I-I’m just a knockoff! Everything I want – that I think I want – is a lie!”

And yet it was that same lie that kept Surge going, the reason she didn’t jump off the first building she could find after finding out the truth about herself. (that, and she didn’t care to test just how enhanced her healing powers were.)

She had no idea who Sonic was, she could barely tell how he looked like. She only knew that he was a self-righteous bastard pretending to be a hero, and he was free to do as he pleased without a care in the world, and people worshipped him, and she wouldn’t be able to rest until she beat his life out of his stupid face.

Who cared if it was true or not? Did it matter if they were the artificial thoughts of a knockoff?

(The number on the doctor’s tape was burned in her brain: it took 232 sessions with that stupid Hypno Glove until she could say with confidence that she hated Sonic. Maybe she had always been stubborn, even before the platypus played with her braincells.)

Sonic deserved to feel the same pain and despair Surge was drowning in.

What did he do to deserve to be free and loved anyway?

~

SLAM!

The sound of Sonic’s spine hitting the metal fencing was music to her ears.

He groaned and rubbed his side. “Excuse me, and you would be…?”

Finally, she had him in her grasp. The cause of her pain. The idiot she was forced to resemble. Sonic the Hedgehog, looking as dumb as she imagined him.

“I’m Surge the Tenrec. And it’s all your fault I was made!” She pointed an electrified finger at him. “You useless excuse of a ‘hero’! Why didn’t you kill the doctor when you had the chance, huh? Too afraid of sullying your perfect little hands??”

Sonic just smiled, he smiled in her face, that arrogant little bastard. “Heh, that Eggman just refuses to die, no matter what I throw at him!” he quipped.

“Not him, I don’t care about him! The other one! Starlame!”

“Starline? The Eggman fanboy?” Sonic narrowed his eyes, daring to look confused. “I barely even met the guy! I thought he died under an avalanche he caused! How was I supposed to know that he’d come back and play mad scientist?”

“Then you were lazy!” she retorted without missing a beat. She knocked her fists together, making sparks fly in Sonic’s face. “Just roll over and let me replace you! I won’t be weak like you! Your speed of sound can’t compete with my speed of light!”

“Prove it,” he smirked.

A storm descended upon the battlefield.

~

Surge exploded. Every step, every jump, every Spin Dash rumbled like thunder, and was as bright as lightning. She was everywhere at the same time, she was power, she was fury.

Sonic, on the other hand, danced. Silent, effortless, focused, completely in his element, like a gust of wind you couldn’t see but you could feel on your skin. He dodged every attack of hers with such grace that it pissed her off. He wasn’t taking this seriously. He wasn’t taking her seriously. 

Of course. Surge wasted months racing in neatly prepared circuits, controlled environments. Sonic had been a hero in the real world for years. She may have been more powerful… but he had a better idea of what he was doing.

Sonic was the entire reason her life was torn apart. Surge was just yet another nuisance for him.

Oh, but she’ll show him, she will show him alright that she wasn’t to be underestimated! She would take that grin, and crack it, and fry his useless brain into mush

like mine was and what did i do to deserve it and if i can’t have my thoughts back then you shouldn’t be able to think at all

But for every punch Surge would throw at Sonic, he responded with a kick; their Spin forms clashed, sending sparks everywhere; her body would ache in waves, trying to heal as quickly as possible from the hits, while Sonic simply wiped the sweat off his brow.

“It’s been a while since I’ve fought like this! You’re pretty strong, lady!”

Was he having fun? Was he making fun of her??

“You wanna see strong? You ain’t seen nothing yet!” Surge yelled all the rage she had in her lungs, and lunged at him, electricity propelling and enveloping her. But before she could stop in her tracks, Sonic did a breakdancing move that ended with a kick that sent her in the air; before she could reorient himself, a strong blow to her head sent her face to the ground.

As if her head hadn’t been scrambled enough already…

Surge rose to her hands and knees, her vision swimming and pulsating.

“Geez, you can’t even take a compliment? Yeah, I get it, you hate me and want to destroy me.” That odious voice was now coming from above her. Surge lifted her head, and there he was, perched on rubble, arms tightly crossed on his chest and a neutral, almost bored expression. Look at him, looking down on her like she wasn’t even worth his time, just to rub it in her face that he was superior. Oh, how she wanted to climb there, drag him down by his quills and yank them out of his skull…

Sonic cocked his head on the side. “I don’t know what your deal is, but it seems like that Starline guy is the one who hurt you, right? But instead of going after him, you’re focusing on me, and I haven’t even done anything to you. Why? Usually people who have beef with me have been tricked…”

Why.

why why why why why

Surge hated that word, hated that question, she didn’t want to think, thinking led to pain and tears and her brain getting melted and reshaped…

Electricity crackled all over her, raising her fur. She rose to her feet and she cried the one truth she didn’t want to admit:

“I DON’T KNOW!!” 

The weight of her outburst hit her in the gut like one of Sonic’s kicks. She didn’t know what she was doing, she was hitting and punching and kicking and screaming because that was all she was good for, that was what she was designed for, and it wasn’t like she could know who she really was under all the robotics implanted in her and the code shoved in her brain and the trauma she was forced to forget.

“I want to kill you, I need to, it won’t– it won’t leave my head!” she sobbed - no she didn’t, she yelled, she was angry, just angry, that was the only emotion she could feel. “I don’t care about why anymore, I just know that I need to! I won’t be happy until I see you and that quack doctor dead! Then I’ll be free!”

Sonic raised his eyebrows.

“Free from what?”

“From… from… from you! From me! From whoever I am!”

“I don’t think it works like that.”

“Good thing I couldn’t care less about what you think!”

“That’s fair, but I still don’t understand.”

“Doesn’t matter. Shut up.”

“How do you know…” 

“Shut up!”

“... that taking me out would make you happy? I know a guy who had thoughts put into his head – let me guess, Starline did the same to you, right? That's why you’re out for his blood.” He wrinkled his nose. “I don’t blame you: that’s disgusting.” 

Surge stared at him, stunned despite her will. Huh, maybe he wasn’t a complete moron. 

Sonic hopped from the rock, almost… crestfallen? “Listening to those fake thoughts... would only lead to fake happiness and freedom,” he said in a soft tone. “That sounds sadder than whatever you’re feeling right now.”

Those simple words crushed Surge.

Would she never be happy?

Was she destined to stay like that? Broken and useless and angry at everything and nothing? Until she died, assuming that she could?

No don’t listen to him, he just– he just–

He scratched his nose and looked to the side. “I don't have a solution for your problem, but maybe you should try to find yourself again – or reinvent yourself! You know that you don’t really want what you think you want, so—”

“SHUT UP!!!”

Thunder and lightning rained all around her, and squashed her stupid thoughts; no time to mope, she wouldn’t leave that room until Sonic was left rotting in a corner. She jumped and kicked at him; Sonic sighed, took her leg and swung her on the ground.

“Orrrr we could keep this up all day. Your choice.”

Surge rose again, blinded with rage, only Sonic in her sight.

I hate you I hate you I hate you, I will never stop hating you, this is me now

this is all I have left

i won’t let it be taken away from me

~

Good thing the doctor didn’t install vertigo in her brain, because had she been a normal person, the pitch black of the pit she was dangling over would have made her sick.

This couldn’t be it. She couldn’t lose in such a pathetic way before grinding the heads of the idiots who took everything from her! If only she could reach the edge of the pit… but it was too high up, and the metal slid off her fingertips…

“Surge!” 

Oh, fuck no. Not him!

The blue loser appeared in her vision, eyes wide like saucers. He looked ridiculous.

“Take my hand, quick!”

What? “No!” She waved her own electrified hand. “Do you think I’m this dumb?”

“Surge, I’m not going to hurt you, I want to help you!”

“I don’t care! Get it through your thick skull – I don’t want your help!”

“You’re going to die!”

“So what? What, aren’t you going to give me the freedom to die like the good hero you are?” she sneered. Hypocrite.

Something resembling a frown passed onto Sonic’s face, yes go away, give up, give up for once, give up on me like everyone did

But instead he pushed himself further, stretching his arm like he wanted to tear it off his body. What was he doing?

My life isn’t worth this much effort.

She laughed, her voice coming off shriller than she wanted. “If-if you rescue me like I’m some sort of princess, I’ll… I’ll beat you so hard that your little friend won’t be able to recognize you. You can stick your ‘mercy’ up your ass. You hear me?” She made sure to show her fangs for good measure.

Sonic just looked at her, then shrugged. He was even dumber than she thought.

“Almost… there…”

His whole body was almost upside down, and Surge wanted to step back, she couldn’t have him so close to her, but her fingers were already getting sore around the metal girder and she couldn’t move a muscle.

“You dumbass!” she shouted. “You’re about to fall! And for what? Don’t you dare die in this lame way, I have to be the one putting you in your grave!”

He was ignoring her now, how he wasn’t toppling over she had no idea, his fingers were now too close to hers, almost brushing hers, she couldn’t move…

no don’t touch me

get away from me

if you do

if you go all this way for me

i’d rather

Sonic grabbed her hand.

“I gotcha!” he grinned.

ZAP!

A yelp, and Surge was let go.

“Last hit, I win,” she mumbled, before falling down.

Her name almost reached her before the bellowing of the wind drowned everything.

Surge felt numb, only vaguely aware of her clothes and quills fluttering all around her. Heh, guess she’d discover soon the extent of her regenerative powers. Nothing to worry about. If she survived, she’d decide what to do next; if she didn’t, welp, nothing of value would be lost.

Her throat hurt. She comforted herself remembering the horror that she managed to glimpse on the faker boy’s face. Yes! She made him suffer, just a little, like he deserved.

why does he?

It didn’t matter. His pain made her a little happier and that was what counted.

She blinked rapidly. Why was her vision so blurry?

What are you doing? Stop it! Sonic isn’t a crybaby, is he? And I’m better than him!

Her confused thoughts circled back to the only truth in her fake mind: it was all his fault. That good-for-nothing, pathetic, self-absorbed, egomaniac goody-two-shoes. He made her sick to her stomach. 

She was disgusted at the pity on his face, as if she was a poor thing to feel sorry for, he was supposed to be terrified of her, to beg for mercy as she crushed his head under her shoe, not treat her as a charity project.

She was disgusted at the thought of being indebted to him, of him lording his superiority over her, never, she’d never give him the satisfaction, she was better than him.

And most of all, she was disgusted at the idea that he might have actually cared about her.

Yeah, as if. Who would care about a knockoff? Only that Drippy does, and he had to have his personality wiped out. That jerk just wanted to feel good about himself and how much of a selfless noble hero he is. Yuck. And people love the real deal.

But the compassion in Sonic's eyes only left Surge’s mind when her body slammed onto the metal below.