Grapejuice
â Why must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well, just say goodnight and go
pairing:Â jungkook x reader (ft. taehyung x reader)
genre:Â strangers to lovers (?), art student jungkook, art apprentice reader, angst, smut, fluff, art university au, oc is older than jungkook (only by 1 year), kind of inspired by titanic(?? idk just bear with me lol) *also i went to normal college, no idea how art universities work*
warnings: swearing, feelings of being lost, thoughts of infidelityâŠÂ infidelity, descriptive smut (oral fem. receiving, fingering, protected sex, multiple orgasms, jk is big y'all!), smoking (cigarettes & đ), themes of being lost, sad, nepotism, everyone is lowkey a villain lmao
summary:Â At 24, your life was lined up to be perfect; talented, nice apartment, amazing boyfriend, and a dream job. Working as an art apprentice for Kim Seokjin was the exact opportunity you needed to kickstart your art career. However, after youâve hit a creative wall at full speed, you feel more lost than ever. Itâs not until one person shows up with no brakes on in your life that not only changes your entire perspective, but takes your breath away in the process.
word count: around 36k (i was in a silly goofy moodđđ€)
all feedback is very much appreciated! i hope y'all enjoy!
â€
Jungkookâs hand thatâs on the railing begins to tighten around it, his knuckles turning white as frustration pulses through his veins. You notice his tight grip and you place your own hand over his to relax him some. Thereâs mere inches between you two now, but itâs comforting and it feels like only you two are left in the worldâthe party raging down below and throughout the house drowning out. While your head is spinning from the two glasses of alcohol that you had sipped on earlier, you know that most of it comes from his intoxicating scent. Heâs everywhere at all times and you think this is some sick joke manifesting itself into reality as you feel yourself leaning into him. When he says your name slow and calculated, you know that youâre a puddle in his hands, ready for all the consequences that may come with your decision. You just donât know exactly how it could have reached this point.Â
1 Month Earlier
If there was one thing about being an artistâitâs that it can absolute torture. You hated to admit how right-brained you actually were. You felt as if your mind moved much faster and more chaotic than most people. It wasnât anything you couldnât function withâyou had dealt with it your whole life, finding different outlets for your energy and itchiness. You couldnât remember the exact age that you picked up a crayon, but you knew it was younger than most.
A lot of your childhood seems to be a blur, only a few memories sticking out like a bookmark at times. One of the most prominent being at age 5 when you took a few Sharpies and marked all over the dining room wall, drawing what you thought to be a field of flowers. Turns out, it was just a black scribbled mess that ended up with you hiding in your room, terrified of how angry your mother had gotten at you. You had learned your lesson that day that the wall should not be your canvas of choice.Â
Crayons turned to colored pencils turned to watercolor turned to oils turned to whatever you could grab and extend your talent further. You hadnât taken the original school routeâyour dad putting you in a special junior school for artists, all the way up until you graduated high school. Naturally, this lead you to going to university to major in the fine arts. As you sit here in your studio now, youâre unsure if that was the smartest decision.Â
The funny thing about artists is that youâre sure they are the type of people who crave and desperately need the most validation of any profession. You valued positive reinforcement to the point it could be crippling. Youâre sure that it stems from some type of child-like validation you never received from really either of your parents. They were always hard on you but your dad was the more lenient one of the two; your mom too selfish in her own abilities to look your way.Â
You glance up to the clock hanging on the wall. Itâs nearing 3 in the afternoon which means you only have one class left for today. You were by no means a professor, however as part of your apprenticeshipâit was required by your senior, Kim Seokjin, to assist some of his lectures. Like you, Kim Seokjin was a tortured soul with such talent that it was hard to comprehend as an onlooker. You were nearing 25, Seokjin was over 30 and he had built much more of a name for himself than you probably ever would. Despite the hundreds of artists just in the area surrounding the neighborhood and university, he was one of the best. He taught only the uppermost level classes at the university, handpicking the students himself to teach. You were lucky enough to have kissed his ass enough as an undergrad for him to accept you into his apprenticeship program. It didnât pay muchâstarving artists was an absolutely true tropeâbut it paid the bills and at least you werenât in a crippling, life-draining office job.Â
You give one last glance to the large canvas in front of you before throwing in your colorfully stained apron over an easel in the corner.Â
You check off the mental note to bring Seokjin the rest of the paint he wanted for todayâs last class. You hurry into his own smaller studio/office thatâs right near yours and pick up the tray of paints heâs set out. Afraid that youâll be late for classâwhich was Seokjinâs biggest pet peeve, you hurry out of his office and back down to the main classroom. As you turn down the main corridor, you donât even recognize whatâs happened when you crash into a body, slipping backwards and letting go of the tray of paints, halfway falling backwards with a yelp until somethingâsomeoneâmanages to catch your fall just in time.Â
Your eyes are completely ignoring whatever stranger is holding you in a such a strong embrace that itâs taking your breath away and looking over at the colors which now paint the hallway.Â
âFuck,â is the first thought that crosses your mind and when you finally look up at whoâs got youâthe second thing to cross your mind? Shitâwho is this?
âAre you okay? Fuck Iâm so sorry, I-I have to run these papers to advising before my class,â the stranger rambles on, his grip still tight around your body. Heâs got you pressed against his chest, one of his hands around your waist tightly, the other holding your other arm out awkwardly, giving away thatâs what he originally caught you with.Â
Your mouth slightly gapes open, confused and getting angrier at the second. Seokjin was going to murder you. That or just take the paints out of your next paycheckâwhich you honestly would rather take the former. With all of your might, you push yourself away from the man who you crashed into, feeling his grip on your arm even after heâs let go.Â
âIâm fine,â you spit out, running a hand through your hair in frustration. You bend down and start to pick up the paint that indeed survived the fall, placing them back on the tray one by one. To your surprise, the stranger bends down too, helping you place everything back into the tray neatly.Â
âIâm sure there are some towelsââ
âThe janitors will get it, itâs fine,â you interrupt the boy who keeps a mild expression on his features. Itâs true though, spilled paint is nothing out of the ordinary for the cleanup crew. It was a school of arts after all.Â
You leave without saying another word to the stranger. You march towards the classroom, ready to hear it in front of Seokjin and all of his students. The thought mortified you, but it happened to his apprentices more often than you would think. Seokjinâs tactics are scary and intimidating but they are like that on purpose. He wants his students to be the best and he wants his apprentices to be even better. And your work as of recent and now this incident? You were surely not that.Â
Seokjin doesnât acknowledge when you let him know about the spilled paints, giving you a dismissingâclearly annoyedâglance before he begins his last abstract painting class. The classroom space is large and bright filled with 11 students exactly. Six working spaces down each side of the rectangle, a lone working space in the back corner of the room. You remembered taking this class vividly, finding the abstract work natural to you and your paint brushes. While you enjoyed abstract, your speciality lied in realismâwhether it be through pencils or oils or paints.Â
In many ways your role in the classroom acted similarly as a graduate student would at a normal university. You were there to provide help to the other students when needed, but the basis of your apprenticeship under Soekjin was to gain experience and build up your portfolio. Lecturing in art school is obviously quite different than regular university. Instead of an hour and a half of note taking, it was a simple debrief at the beginning of classes and then the remainder time was for working.Â
During Seokjinâs brief monologue, the back door of the classroom opens in a rush, the same stranger from earlier entering in, demanding attention away from the teacher.Â
âSorry Iâm lateâI had to drop off some papers in the administrative office,â the stranger explains as he walks up towards Seokjin. They shake hands quickly, Seokjin introducing him to the class.Â
âEveryone, this is Jeon Jungkookâheâs just transferred in from another department, please welcome him in kindly.âÂ
Jeon Jungkook. A few of the studentâs eyes light up as he gives a small wave to everyone. Youâre leaning against the wall a few feet behind Jungkook and Seokjin but suddenly Jungkook must have noticed your small movement of crossing your arms over your chest. He nearly does a double take as you make brief eye contact. Heâs handsome, you can tell that much as you hadnât paid much attention when he bumped into you earlier. Jungkook is giving you another apologetic look until youâre the first one to look away, gazing back over the entire class.Â
Once class presumes, Jungkook takes the empty workstation towards the back of the classroom, beside of Kim Jisoo and across from Kim Yugyeom.Â
âY/N?â Seokjin says from where he stands, motioning you to come to him. You push yourself off the wall, sauntering over to your boss.Â
âYes?âÂ
âMeet me in my office after this class is over. I donât really need you in here today so just continue working on what you need to,â he says only giving you a short glance. Your stomach drops. 99% of the time, if Seokjin wanted to meet in his office, it never really meant good news. Noticing some of his students who are sitting up front are listening, you only give him a short smile with a nod. The last thing you needed was his students talking about how shitty his chosen apprentice truly was.Â
You push yourself off the wall, your feet carrying you quickly out of the classroom. Little to your knowledge, the stranger from earlier only had his eyes on you as you disappeared from the classroom.Â
â€
Itâs only less than a couple hours later you find yourself standing in front of Seokjinâs office. You are gripping your tote bag tightly against your side, the rattling of your materials the only thing your mind can solely focus on. Sending a quick prayer up to whoever, you knock gently on the door and a hear a subtle noise for you to come in.Â
You force a small smile on your face as you enter the office, making eye contact with Seokjin immediately. He makes you so intensely nervous that it can be hard to stomach being around himâbut the validation and credibility he gives your portfolioâit will be worth it in the end.Â
âHi,â you say as he motions you to take a seat at his desk. Heâs sat across from you, finishing typing away at his computer before he gives you any attention. His office is quite the opposite of what you would expect an artistâs office to be. It was all monochromatic and cream with touches of mahogany brown in the furniture and cabinets. There was barely any art on the walls, just a few small canvases that you recognized as his own pieces. You have to hold in a laugh at his narcissism.Â
âThanks for coming by, I donât want to keep you too late,â he says emotionless.Â
âNo worries,â you shake your head, âIs everything okay?âÂ
He hesitates before he responds, leaning back into his giant office chair that looks divinely comfortable.
âI actually wanted to present you with that question Y/N,â he speaks slowly, as if heâs studying you and your reaction.
You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, âMe?âÂ
When he doesnât say anything, you continue yourself.Â
âI-I donât think I understand,â you stutter anxiously, feeling yourself getting hot in the tiny office. This is itâthis is where you die. Over spilled fucking paint.Â
âY/N,â he pauses to lean forward on his forearms, âYou were one of my most exemplary students in undergrad which is why out of all the candidates, I choose you to be one of my apprentices. I just canât help but feel youâve been⊠well, lacking in the work youâre putting out..âÂ
His words are slow and calculated, as if he has rehearsed them many times over before spelling it out for you. Your shoulders begin to slump and you now wish you were being reprimanded over spilled fucking paint. You donât even know what to say, so you donât. Seokjin takes your silence with respect, continuing for you.Â
âI just want you to be your best artistic self. I know what a slump feels like and if you need any helpââ
âNo,â you interject quickly, âItâs justââ you pause, wanting to think about what youâre saying before you speak, âItâs just Iâve just been a little uninspired lately, but no I definitely donât need help.âÂ
The last thing you needed was for Seokjin to think you couldnât handle your own. The world of professional art was ruthless. You figured this out by your early teens when your mother had a gallery that was quote âa crashing bore of monotone, desperately wanting to be something itâs not.â After that, she locked herself in her bedroom for 3 days. You needed to prove to yourself you could handle piece after piece by yourself. If you couldnât prove it to you, who on the outside would believe you could?
Seokjin narrows his eyes at you and youâre sure he definitely doesnât believe you. âThe final exhibit is coming up, I just donât want you to lose sight of it.â
Knowing todayâs date, the final exhibit is coming faster than you would like. Nearly 2 months away, but Seokjin is right. Art takes time, patience, and inspiration. Three things that youâre running out of.
âI appreciate the concern,â you say as genuine as you can, gritting through your annoyed smile, âBut I promise you, Iâm fine. Iâm sure you know how it is to be in a funk.âÂ
He leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his broad chest. If he wasnât such an intimidating asshole, you would find him attractive. He seems to be content with your answer as he begins to nod slowly.Â
âAlright,â he responds, âIf you eventually need help though, you have an abundance of students who would be willing to work with you. Great art doesnât have to be born out of loneliness.âÂ
You nearly snicker. The funny thing about artists is that we are so narcissistic, we canât even see what weâre saying is just a crock of horse shit. You decide to leave the conversation at that, bidding Seokjin a simple goodbye and a wishful weekend. You pick your bag up off the ground, fishing your phone out of it quickly, leaving Seokjinâs office in a rush. You had dinner plans and you werenât sure how much time you now had to get ready.Â
Youâre scrolling through your messages to recall the exact time you were supposed to be there when suddenly youâre bumpingâno crashingâinto someoneâagain! Youâve let out a yelp and a curse word you shouldnât repeat when you hear your poor phone collide with the floor. Luckily you managed to catch yourself against the wall as your heart beats with fight or flight adrenaline.Â
âShit,â someone mutters and when you finally regain your orientation, you instantly recognize the voice. You realize itâs Jeon Jungkookâthat new student who bumped into you earlier. Heâs sitting on the ground as if heâs just been hit by a bus. It makes you narrow your eyesâyouâre not that dense you knocked this man to the ground. How dramatic can he be?Â
âCan we stop meeting like this?â You say as you reach down for your phone. You hope and pray there arenât any cracks. When you turn it over, you let out a relieved sigh when the screen is unharmed.Â
âThat was totally your fault that time,â Jungkook pushes himself off the ground, fluffing up his dark hair some. Once he stands fully in front of you, you are now getting an essence of how big he is. Heâs average height at most, but from your stature, youâre having to still look up at him.Â
âHow was that my fault?â You press, taking a step away from him to give you space.Â
âMaybe you shouldnât walk around with your head in that thing?â He motions to your phone with his eyebrows. His eyes are wide and doe like, his lips a little thin with a piercing on the right side, and a nose on the bigger side. Youâve always liked big noses. You normally wouldn't describe men this way, but heâs genuinely pretty. If he wasnât standing right here, youâd blush a little.
âMaybe you shouldnât sprint around this place like youâre being chased by a serial killer,â you argue back, your phone now buzzing in your hand.Â
This Jungkook guy laughs a bit, a soft smile growing on his face, âIâm Jungkook,â he says matter-of-factly.Â
âAnd Iâm running late,â you point to your continually buzzing phone. You can tell itâs not the answer he wants, but you walk away before he can get that answer. You donât dare look over your shoulder as you walk away to answer the phone. You can feel his eyes still on you and his scent fulfilling your nose. It smells clean, musky, and like amber. It smells dangerous.Â
â€
Carbone was easily one of the best spots in the city. The Italian cuisine was to-die for and with the way your stomach was growlingâthe thought of their vodka sauce penne was literally making you horny. In record time, you managed to rush home and throw yourself together a little more decently. Your hair was pretty greasy so you ended up throwing it up into a clip hoping that no one would notice. Youâre playing with your so-called slut strands aimlessly as you stand outside of the restaurant waiting on your company. It isnât much longer until you hear your named being called a little ways away. You look up from your phone, a smile beginning to grow on your face.
âHey babe,â your smile only grows as your boyfriend approaches you. He himself begins to smile as he fully approaches you, engulfing you into a large bear hug.Â
âI missed you,â he breathes heavily into your neck before he pulls away, âYou look nice,â he holds both of your hands and looks down your frame. You glance down at your simple tank and loose-navy trousers. The navy somewhat clashes with his black suit, but it didnât bother you none.Â
âThank you, missed you too,â you respond, âShall we?âÂ
He nods once, giving you a look of longing before pulling you inside behind him.Â
âReservations for Kim Taehyung,â he smiles charmingly to the hostess. She seems awestricken by him as she fumbles around with the menus behind the podium. Once she realizesâor chooses to noticeâyou standing close with Taehyung, hand in his, her gaze immediately drops to her feet as she walks the two of you to the table. Itâs a smaller two-seated table outside on their exquisite patio, twinkle lights tastefully lighting up around you and a small candle lit between you two. Itâs still not quite spring so they have some outdoor space heaters which is nice on your exposed arms. The slight chill doesnât bother you though. Your only focus is on Taehyung.Â
Kim Taehyung. How could you even describe Kim Taehyung?Â
As the two of you sit here now, him 27, you 24, you canât believe how long itâs already been. You were naive and 20 when you first crossed paths with Taehyung. A mutual friend introduced the two of you at another friendâs birthday at the time. It was at some swanky bar in the fanciest part of the city and to your broke, aspiring starving artist kind; it seemed magical.Â
There was an immediate attraction to each other that both of you seemed to recognize. His strong features and sexy smirk had you pulled in the moment he opened his mouth. His looks were one thing, but once you got to know him for him, you were sure you had found your soulmate. He was charming, funny, smart, and a hell of a lot different than you. But you liked that. You had been around the mismatched artist-type your entire lifeâyou craved something different. And he gave you that every time, even now 4 years later.Â
âHow was your day?â Youâre the one to ask first as the waitress ends up pouring out glasses of Chardonnay for the both of you. Taehyung always orders a bottle, citing glasses were the cheap way out.Â
He takes a sip before he speaks, âPretty good. I think weâre finally getting close to a deal on my biggest client which will leave me a lot less stressful once that sorts itself out.âÂ
Taehyung works in financeâspecifically in private equity. When the two of you first met, he was a first-year hustling investment banker who worked long hours with high compensation for a 23 year old. Now, he works a little less hours with even higher compensation. One way that you two are similar is that you both like chaosâchaos that just manifests itself into different ways. Chaos for you comes in forms of paint, sketches, and a messy workspace. Chaos for Taehyung is working long, demanding hours, numbers, and making 50 year olds seem less experienced than him.
âYou made it out of the office before seven tonight, thatâs always a good thing,â you take a sip of your wine, hiding the scrunch on your face as best as you can. This Chardonnay was particularly dry and not quite what you thought you needed. A martini sounds real good about now.Â
âHow was your Friday babe?â He asks with genuine curiosity. If there was one flaw about you is that whenever Taehyung would go off the deep end in explaining his private equity and venture capital deals, you somewhat zoned out. Him on the other hand, always seemed intrigued about your endeavors as a struggling artists. Perhaps you should work on your listening skills now that you think about it.Â
Youâre about to answer until the waitress comes back to take your orders. You settle on the vodka penne, Taehyung gets cacio-e-pepe, and you two get a Caesar to split. Before you realize it, youâre adding in a martini to the bill. Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you as the waitress leaves.Â
âBad day?â He asks.Â
You have to laugh, leaning back into your seat some. âIt was fine, itâs just,â you pause somewhat frustrated now that youâve had a couple hours to marinate Seokjinâs words.
âSeokjin has just been hard on me lately and itâs kind of exhausting,â you breathe out heavily.Â
âIsnât he always an asshole?â He raises a brow, leaning back in his seat to match your stance. His eyes donât leave you as you command his full attention.Â
You half-laugh again, âItâs like he thinks I can just shit out new pieces every week. Itâs not like every morning I wake up with a new idea that's riveting enough to turn into something.âÂ
âIâm sure youâve produced good things recentlyâyouâre too hard on yourself Y/N,â he says, you assume trying to comfort or validate you in someway. It doesnât work.Â
âWhat you think is good, isnât what I, or Seokjin, or art critics may think is good,â you say stubbornly.Â
âBabe you really shouldnât care about what those people think,â he says just as your martini arrives. You take quite a big gulp, a chill running down your spine. But itâs good, and needed.Â
âThatâs easy for you to say.âÂ
You donât expect Taehyung to understand your perception of what youâve always thought you career would be. Taehyungâs career was set for him the moment he walked across the graduation stage. There need be no inspiration or motivation for the work he does. He shows up, gets tasks and deals to negotiate, plugs and chugs numbers, and does it all over again. Thereâs no downtime in his field.Â
When it comes to artâthereâs too much downtime. Too much time to overthink and drown into your thoughts. Itâs easy to become miserable and wallow in self-pity as an artist. You donât know why or where this rut came from, but you hoped that something would inspire you fast. Seokjin was rightâyou really didnât have much time to begin putting together your exhibition pieces.Â
âI deal with people all the time who hate me and my colleaguesâthat doesnât mean I donât show up for the meetings. Youâre going to deal with people who donât like you but you still gotta get your shit done either way,â he shrugs and itâs like he caught what he said just in time before you could snap back at himââBaby you know thatâs not what I mean,â he suddenly leans forward and grabs one of your hands on the table.Â
You try to get past his last commentâas if he was implying you werenât doing your jobârelaxing as soon as his warm touch gets to you.Â
Perhaps one of the bigger flaws in your relationship with Taehyung is that sometimes he just doesn't get it. He can get very wrapped up into his world, unable to find a place of empathy for you and your craft. Sometimes, it feels like you're standing in a crowded room screaming yet no one turns around to see where the ruckus is coming from.
âI know,â you answer simply and luckily, your dinner arrives cutting the conversation at that.Â
As you two eat together, catching up on other mindless topics, and enjoying each otherâs company, it makes your heart yearn for so much more with him. Youâve only had one serious boyfriend before Taehyung in high school which probably doesnât even count at this point and only dating a couple guys casually before you ended up meeting the man across the table. He was edging 30, you nearing 25. You glance down at your ring finger, wanting nothing more than truly make that next step in your relationship. You two had talked about it many times and you were sure he wanted to marry youâyou just didnât know what he was waiting on.Â
Thankfully, youâre feeling a little less anxious now that youâve ate a good meal and had some alcoholânot enough to where youâre drunkâbut enough to feel a little buzz. After Taehyungâs paid (youâve run your time trying to payâalso given Taehyungâs salary versus yours, it was sort of a given who would pay at fancy restaurants).Â
The two of you are walking around the semi-hustling streets, hand in hand as youâre making way back to his apartment. Fridayâs were routine the two of you. Given his hectic schedule, the weekends are where you two found solace. There was the occasional mid-week lunch if he was on your side of the city where the university was, but Fridayâs had been particular your days for years now. You loved your little routine together.Â
Taehyung has managed to pull you towards the cityâs main river to a popular tourist watch site. On the weekends, there were the occasional events and water shows. Tonight wasnât one of those nights, but there are a couple street vendors set up around the area. From the corner of your eye, you spot a vendor selling cotton candy and before Taehyung can stop you, youâre pulling him to the sweet treat. You settle on sharing a stick of the pink and cottony sugar as you take a sit down on the side of the river, trying to keep some distance from others.Â
You sit on the step below Taehyung, settling between his legs as you eat the candy in a comfortable silence. He offers you the last little piece but you shake your head, leaning back into his chest more. He glad eats it and then wraps his arms around your front, instantly warming you from the outside in.Â
âYou chilly babe?â He asks and you shrug a little. You were a little chilly now, but he was keeping you warm enough. Given how he just knows you though, he ends up shrugging off his perfectly tailored suit jacket and draping it over your front. You give him a small kiss beneath his chin as a thank you.Â
âThis is nice,â you say lowly, the sound of the running river and carb-loaded tummy making you a little sleepy.Â
âMhm,â he agrees, settling his chin on top of your head, âYou know Iâve been thinking recently..âÂ
Thought he canât see your face from this angle, your eyes slightly widen and your heart rate picks up significantly. Unsure of what to say, you make a noise that resembles a âhm?â Could it be?Â
âI know that both of our leases are ending soon,â he pauses, leaning back some. You take it to turn your body some to face him, a soft expression crossing your features. âI was thinking we should move in together.âÂ
While your heart semi-strains painfully given itâs not what you thought he was going to say. But heyâhe wants to live together! Thatâs the second biggest step before getting engaged, right?Â
âYou want to live together?â You repeat his statement to make sure you heard it clearly.Â
He gives you a small smirk, âIsnât that what I just said?â He giggles, âIâd just figured we already stay at each others places on the weekends⊠and if we lived together we would definitely see each other more often.âÂ
Heâs right. You think about waking up and going to bed with Taehyung everyday. You think about making coffee for each other and eating dinner together every night. You think about lazy morning-before-work sex and heavy, steamy sex in a shared bathroom. It seems perfect. Youâre nodding before you even say yes.
âYes, yes, of course!â You say enthusiastically, throwing your arms around him awkwardly. He laughs in content, holding you close as you both continue to watch the river. While itâs not what you were expecting, perhaps it was the final stepping stone until the relationship was to be taken further.Â
â€
âI feel like tangerine is the superior shade of orange, right?âÂ
You laugh a little as you take a step back from the canvas, looking over your shoulder to meet Sanaâs gaze. Sheâs got a serious expression crossing her brows as she inspects your canvas and the orange color youâve just slapped onto it.Â
âI prefer marmalade,â you respond sarcastically with a half-smile, justifying your color choice on the canvas. She tilts her head slightly, sitting back in the barstool type chair sheâs in. She was much more the charming artist type than you. Perhaps itâs one of the reasons you two got along so wellâyou couldnât be anything more than polar opposites. You were laid back and didnât think about your work too much, whereas your best friend from undergrad went through every detail imaginable before her brush hit a canvas.Â
âI actually donât give a shit about the orange,â she then says with a short laugh, âY/N, what are you doing?âÂ
You furrow your eyebrows, setting down your palette on the work table beside you. âWhat do you mean?âÂ
She looks around your studio, the sun shining brightly thanks to the large windows on the back wall. You can tell sheâs quickly inspecting every piece that you have finished up against the far wall opposite of you two. Itâs only 3 pieces, but you can tell sheâs about to rip them apart.Â
âItâs just,â she pauses to meet your gaze again, "I feel like there's no emotion in these pieces, it's all just the same in different fonts...âÂ
You have a sudden open pit in your stomach, getting flashbacks from being in Seokjinâs office last week. You knew that she meant wellâbut like you said, she was the much more serious art type. She could read art better than anyone else you knew and to hear those words from her? It stung.Â
âBecause there isn't," you chuckle, "Iâm just in a funk,â you say, not even attempting to try to argue with her. For the past couple months, every stroke of your brushes have felt like a chore. Every sketch of a pencil felt like someone had a gun to your head, threatening you to draw or otherwise the trigger would be pulled.Â
âIsnât your exhibition soon?,â she asks it like a warning but youâve already heard that siren. âIs everything good with you?âÂ
âIâm fine,â you say straight-lipped, âJust uninspired.âÂ
She raises an eyebrow at you, âTaehyung not dicking you down right?âÂ
You roll your eyes, a small laugh emitting from you, âTrust me, thatâs not the problem.â
Taehyung was great in bedâa gentle lover with rough hands. It would probably surprise people to know that you were the more dominant one in the bedroom.Â
She looks as if she doesnât believe you, but she lets it slide knowing your sex life is none of her business.Â
âAnd he still hasnât put a ring on it?â She glances down at your hands, which you shyly shove into the pockets of your jeans.Â
âYou'd be the first to know Sana," you tell her pointedly, "Also what's the rush?â you say, a half lie on your part. Maybe no rush on his part, but you were feening for that commitment from Taehyung. âHe actually wants us to find a place together.â You make sure to add, given it makes your heart feel a little better.Â
âHm,â she pauses and you give her an odd look.
"What's that for?" you ask her, crossing your arms over your chest.
She shakes her head, "I just want you to be happy Y/N... I'm sure moving in together will be exciting," you can tell there's something else she's not saying. You can probably guess as to what she wants to say but you push it from your mind. God forbid sheâs been the one on the other end of your drunken-crying nights, saying how much you wanted to spend more time with him and marry him. âAre you excited?â
You nod before you speak, âOf course,â you say, âIâll just be happy to spend more time with him.âÂ
âI canât believe heâs still in his soulless finance grind after all these years,â she exhales heavily with a shake of her head. You honestly couldnât believe it eitherâbut he loved his work. Sometimes youâd argue more than he loved anything elseâincluding you.Â
âWhatever makes him happy, makes me happy,â is what you leave it at. You didnât want to have the same conversation with her again.Â
âWell,â she pauses, âI gotta run, but enjoy your lunch,â she motions to the bag of food she so graciously brought you on her own lunch break. Given she works at an art studio in the city as an art preserver, her hours are much more flexible than yours.Â
âThank you,â you give her a quick hug, inhaling her sweet, floral scent. Sheâs always had that sort of nostalgic smell to her. One of those smells that you canât pinpoint where youâve smelt it before, but it makes you smile. Perhaps it just reminds me of sleepless nights in the dorm you two shared freshman year, watching endless drama's and Magic Mike nights.
âAre you gonna come to dinner with everyone tomorrow?âÂ
âIâll try to make it,â you answer, âDepends how long Iâm stuck here,â you speak with your arms in reference to your working studio.Â
âYou better be there,â she warns, âYou havenât seen Jimin and everyone in forever.âÂ
âIâll try,â you repeat with a genuine smile, âThanks for lunch again.âÂ
She gives you a kiss on the cheek, âOf course. Text me if you need anything,âÂ
You watch her frame as she walks out of your studio, your shoulders sinking in relief. You loved Sana, you really did, but the last thing you need is another person down your throat about your art. You were in a stupid, uninspired, funk but it will eventually go away. Even if you have to claw your way to finishing pieces for the exhibitâthey will get done. You werenât the type to just give up and throw in the towel.Â
You havenât even realized youâve completely zoned out until you hear footsteps coming into your studio. When you fixate on who is hesitantly standing toward the door, a confused expression crosses your face.Â
âJungkook?âÂ
âIâm late?â He jokes, retorting your smart ass comment from the other day. You canât help but laugh some as he approaches you. Heâs curiously looking around your working space with wide doe eyes. âThe lighting is great in here,â he comments.Â
âI held Seokijn at gunpoint for this room,â you attempt to make a joke. He giggles so youâre satisfied. Youâve only been in class with him once since his first day last week. From what youâve distantly observed about this Jungkook guy, itâs that heâs quiet and reserved, but quite talented. Seokjin must be feeling very sorry for you given he hasnât needed you in class the past few days. That, or heâs just pissed that you havenât done shit and itâs him telling you to get the hint.
âEverything good?â You ask him to break the silence, trying to be a âteacherlyâ as you could. Perhaps he had a question that Seokjin wasnât available to answer. Or needed to know where certain pigments were. Or just needed a second opinion on a piece heâs started. Jungkook has made his way over to you, leaning at the table where Sana was just sat.Â
âSeokjin needs you to work the afternoon class by yourself,â he explains and youâre a little confused.Â
âOkayâŠ?â You trail off, looking at him curiously. Heâs dressed in a large short sleeve shirt, baggy jeans, and a slick pair of Nikeâs. As he crosses his arms over his chest, you take quick notice of an array of tattoos covering his right forearm. It makes something deep within you stir.Â
âIs he busy? Did he send you to tell me or something?â You ask.Â
Heâs staring at you intently with purpose. Youâre suddenly insecure under his gaze, knowing you cannot possibly look put together with your hair thrown up and smudged glasses.Â
âI volunteered,â he shrugged, his eyes looking over to the current painting youâre working on. Itâs not too large of a canvas, so it sits on your large easel with ease. His words make you stir again. âThis is a nice color,â he compliments.Â
You laugh out of your nose, âItâs shit.âÂ
You can feel his eyes on your profile as you look at the painting. The orange youâve laid down is only the base color and you donât even know what youâre going to turn it into.
âDo you specialize in realism?â He asks you, again with a burning curiosity in his tone. This is the most youâve heard him speak since heâs showed up. His voice is soft and smooth like honey, unlike Taehyungâs whereâ
âYes,â you cut your thoughts off.Â
âMe too,â he responds as your gaze meets his. You give him a small smile in unity. Youâve nearly forgotten lunch that Sana has brought you until a grumble goes through your stomach. You cross your arms over your stomach, feeling embarrassed under his gaze.Â
âSee you this afternoon?â He says, getting the signal for him to let you have your lunch break.Â
âWill do,â you nod, âThanks for letting me know.âÂ
He pushes off the table, âOf course.âÂ
His gaze breaks from yours as he walks away from you and your workspace. Just as he is about to walk out, you stop him.Â
âItâs Y/N by the way,â you call out formally. He stops in his tracks, halfway turning to you again with a subtle smirk on his face.Â
âI know.â And like that, heâs left. Something even deeper inside you not only stirs, but intensely electrifies you. Youâre devouring your salad before you can let any other thoughts consume your brain.Â
â€
âCheers!â Jimin is smiling eagerly as you all hold your shot glasses up in the center of the table. You all down, up, down the shots of soju before you quickly tip them back. It burns going down your throat, but it felt too good. Sana was rightâit had been way too long since youâve been able to catch up with everyone. Sana sits to your left, Jimin across from you, Hoseok to your right, Jennie beside Jimin, and Namjoon at the head of the table.Â
âNever gets easier,â Hoseok makes a face as he quickly takes a sip of his soda for a chaser. You tease him by bumping his side, going back to eating the meat in front of you. Jimin was at the helm of cooking the meats and as always, did a fabulous job.Â
The Korean BBQ place wasnât too far from your studio apartment and the university. It was yummy, cheap, and some of your friendâs favorite. It was a no brainer for all of you to meet up here after a long day. Thankfully you were able to finish your work early today, but only because once again, nothing of substance was spawning on your canvas.Â
âNamjoon,â Sana says, âWhen are you leaving for New York?âÂ
âNext week,â he says as he sips on his light colored beer.Â
âOh! Taehyungâs going this weekend,â you add into the conversation.
âWork trip?â He asks you, nodding in confirmation. It wasnât anything newâTaehyung made bi-monthly trips to Wall Street. âIf heâs staying long enough weâll have to get a beer together,â he says.Â
âIâll ask him for you,â you smile, though it fades away quickly. You felt that twang in your chest when you thought about Taehyung leaving for work trips. Not because you didnât trust himâyou just missed him. Then again, heâs building a life of security for the two of you, so you couldnât blame him too much.Â
âHowâs the apprenticeship going Y/N?â Jennie asks you as the others talk amongst themselves.Â
âItâs going,â you try to sound light-hearted and that itâs actually not killing you. âIâm done after this semester,â you add.Â
She nodsâJennie worked in social media for a fashion company. She was creative for sureâbut not to the level of you and Sana. The three of you had known each other the longest, the other three boys tagging along as the college years went by.Â
âAre you going to free-lance after?â She asks. As much as you know she doesnât mean harmâany question about the future makes you anxious. You had no idea what you were planning on doing after your apprenticeship was up. You were just hoping working under Kim Seokjin would stick out enough on your resume that something would fall into your lap. With your parents consistently down your throat, something had to fall into your lap. Hell, you would even pull the nepotism card if you had to.
âWeâll see,â you shrug as you continue to eat your food. You were feeling a little bit of a buzz at this point and you knew that you should probably slow down on the drinks.Â
The six of you all continue talking amongst yourselves aimlessly. You find yourself zoning in and out as you continue to think about Seokjin, your art, Taehyung, moving in togetherâyour brain was cloudy and you felt stuffy. Somethingâs gotta give soon or you were sure you were going to explode. You didnât understandâyou have a good life, a good boyfriend, a talent not many people possess, fun friendsâyou didnât know what was wrong with you.Â
You end up excusing yourself, the alcohol inside you making you need some some fresh air. You try to ignore everyoneâs concerned glances coming your way as you stand. You take your phone and head towards the front door. As you push the door open, the chilly spring air feels divine on your skin.
Deciding to get out of sight of your friends given the large glass windows, you make your way to the side of the restaurant, where an alley separates it from another small business. Luckily the area was safe, with no alley being too dimly lit to make you uncomfortable.Â
As you round the corner, the smell of cigarettes fill your nostrils and youâre stopping dead in your tracks. Leaned up against the side of the restaurant, scrolling through a phone, and a cigarette hanging from their lipsâis Jeon Jungkook.Â
âJungkook?â His name slips from your lips before you can stop it. He quickly responds by looking up from his device, looking somewhat startled. He looks panicked as he quickly removes the cigarette from his mouth, about to let it drop to the ground before he drops it.Â
âItâs fine, I donât mind,â you shake your head as you slowly step towards him, âMy mom smokes when she paints.âÂ
He raises his eyebrows at you slowly putting the cigarette back between his lips, âIs she an artist too?âÂ
Heâs wearing slim-fitted jeans and a multiple colored pullover, with a prominent shade of orange through the middle. It reminds you of the conversation you had with Sana yesterday. His hair is tousled a little, but still fairly straight and dark. He plays with his lip ring until you answer him.
âBoth my parents are,â you respond, settling against the building opposite of him. Heâs already got a few inches on you, but with his fancy tennis shoes, it gives him even more height.Â
âThatâs gotta be rough,â he laughs while blowing out smoke away from your direction.Â
You laugh with him, settling for a short nod, âWhat about your parents?âÂ
He hesitates before taking another drag, âMy dad is in banking, my mom stays at home.â While heâs answered your question, he doesnât seem enthusiastic about it. You wonder what type of banking his father is into, so you ask him.Â
âInvestment and private banking,â is what he says. Your boyfriendâs face flashes into your head, but for whatever reason, you donât mention him to Jungkook. Heâs practically your studentâhe doesnât have to know every detail about your life.Â
âDoes he enjoy it?â
He quickly shakes his head, âHeâs been miserable for as long as I can remember, my mom even more so,â he says it like itâs a joke, but it makes something in your chest squeezes tightly, your mouth dries up, and your hands go clammy. Though he doesnât voice it, he senses a demeanor change so he offers you a drag from his cigarette.Â
You donât hesitate to say yes as he passes you the little nicotine stick. Your fingers brush against his when he passes it off to you. Again, you have to ignore whatever is stirring deep within you. As you inhale the smoke, your head buzzes even further, settling your worries the tiniest bit. Thereâs no way that would become you and Taehyung. No way.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â You ask.Â
âMeeting some friends for drinks,â he explains, âBut everyoneâs late, as usual,â he laughs.Â
âI hate when people are late,â you mutter, taking another drag of the cigarette. Jungkook agrees with you, asking what youâre doing here. âIâm with a few friends, we havenât all been able to see each other much recently.âÂ
You reach out to give him back his cigarette but he shakes his head, âItâs yours,â his eyes have a glimmer in them thatâs innocent but provocative all at the same time.Â
âThanks,â you say and nearly rolling your eyes at how much you probably look like your mother right now. You wouldnât really take that as a compliment.Â
âYou did well teaching yesterday,â he completely does a 180 on the subject, but the praise makes you smile at him. Positive reinforcementâworks every time.Â
You thank him again, âI was actually pretty nervous.âÂ
âI donât think any of us would have thought that,â he pauses, examining your face closely, âHave you thought about teaching when youâre done under Seokjin?âÂ
You shake your head, âNot really,â the cigarette is down to the butt so you throw it out, stepping on it with your white tennis shoe.Â
âMaybe you should,â he says it with a genuine tone it almost makes you think itâs something you should consider.Â
âI feel like this is you trying to take my job,â you raise your eyebrow at him and he only smirks through his laugh. Under the dim lighting, it really does excentuate how attractive he is.Â
âIs it that obvious?â He cocks his head to the side quickly, glancing down your front in the process. You know absolutely nothing about this man except his dad is an investment banker and heâs Seokjinâs student. Despite that, you feel too comfortable with him and you know you shouldnât. Goddamn; you were sure you were losing it at this point.Â
Youâre about to say something else before your phone vibrates continuously in your back pocket. You pull it out of your trousers, cursing under your breath when you see Sanaâs name pull up on the screen.Â
âHey! Are you still here?â You can tell sheâs still inside the restaurant given the commotion in the back. She also sounds even more drunk than when you left her. As much as you love your friends, you knew that going back inside was not what you needed. Jungkook watches you intensely, but you canât keep his gaze continuously.Â
âI uh,â you pause trying to think on your feet, âI actually wasnât feeling too well so I ended up leaving.. would you kill me if I just sent you a Venmo for my food?âÂ
âOh! Are you okay?! Of course I donât care! Did you get a ride home?âÂ
You answer all of her questions in order quickly, wanting to get off the phone before she actually realized you were still there, just standing outside in the alley with your âstudent.â
âText me when you make it home!â Is the last thing she says.Â
After you hang up, Jungkook is still looking at you curiously.Â
âDitching you friends?âÂ
âMy social meter has about run out⊠I need to head home anyways,â you trail off, leaning back against the wall behind you.Â
âDo you live around here?â He mirrors your actions, leaning back and watching you. His gaze follows you like the Mona Lisa. You settle with the fact you donât mind. His eyes look like they hold stars and youâve always liked stargazing.Â
âYeah, not too far from here,â you say.Â
âIâll walk you home then.âÂ
You furrow your eyebrows, protesting heavily, âNo, no itâs all good I promise! Your friends are waiting for you.âÂ
Heâs suddenly giving you a smile where one side of his lips tug upwards before heâs biting his lip ring again. You donât know why but you like that too.Â
âLucky for you, my social meter has run out too.âÂ
â€
You know that having Jungkook walk you home would probably look extremely bad to someone if they knew the situation. Jeon Jungkook, senior art student for Kim Seokjin, and you, apprentice for Kim Seokjin, walking you home alone on a Thursday evening. It wasnât that you thought he was attractive that it would look badâthat could be kept secretâmore so just the power dynamic may look bad. The two of you have been talking aimlessly about random things, nothing too deep, until he saysâ
âHowâd you get into art?â He asks as he walks beside you, about 6 inches separating you two. âI know you said your parents were artists, but whyâd you follow the same path?âÂ
Itâs a question youâve pondered yourself many times as of recent. You wonder if Jeon Jungkook can read your mind.Â
âI guess itâs just that,â you half-laugh, âItâs just something I naturally picked up so young and as I got older I just wanted to learn more mediums, create more, perfect the craftâŠâ you trail off, still unsure if youâve answered his question. He looks at you as you walk, but youâre looking forward so you donât notice.Â
âWhat did you start with?â You know exactly what he means.Â
âWell like most kids I started with crayons and watercolor,â you pause and he nods in agreement, âEverything really changed for me though when I started doing realism through pencil and charcoal work when I was like twelve, which eventually moved on to painting.âÂ
He hums like he finds this information fascinating. Even if he doesnât, it makes you feel like youâre being heard. Itâs hard for non-art friends to understand the process of moving from one thing to the next, your brain constantly trying to find something new to work with.Â
âFunny, you and I must have been on parallel paths,â he says it like its a joke and you end up smiling.Â
âWhere are you from?â You turn your head up to ask him. You find his eyes already looking at you.Â
âBusan, just by the sea.âÂ
âAnd thatâs where our paths are different,â youâre nudging his arm with your elbow before you realize it and you immediately regret it, pulling away quickly. Itâs a habit you have when youâre talking to someone youâre comfortable with, specifically Taehyung.Â
"Did you move here just for school then?" you ask him curiously.
He shakes his head, "No my family and I moved here when I was quite young, due to my dad's job," he explains.
"What do your parents think about you being an artist?"
The older you got, the less of a choice you felt like you had in terms of your career and path with your parents consistently down your throat. You'd love to know what it was like to actually choose this path of constant praise and validation.
"My mom is very easy going... she doesn't have much of an opinion about it," he pauses, moving closer to you slightly to dodge a pothole, "It's definitely not what my father would have chosen for me, but since my older brother went to school for business, I think it's lessened the blow for me," he laughs.
You decide right here that you think Jungkook's smile is probably the most beautiful you've ever seen. You don't even realize how long you've been staring at him in silence until his eyes meet yours again.
You clear your throat, âYou really didnât have to walk me home.âÂ
He shoves his hands into the pockets of his pullover, âItâs no big deal, I donât live too far from here either.âÂ
âDo you live alone?â You donât know why youâre asking such personal questions.Â
âYeah, just got my own place actually..â He says it with a faint smile. âDo you?â
âYeah,â not for long. But again, you donât mention it.Â
âIâll have to come see it one day,â youâre positive heâs not even sure what heâs said. Given how he said it so nonchalantly and natural though, tells you differently. Youâre stunned to speak for a moment, until you finally find your voice that comes through like a weakened child.Â
âIâm not sure thatâs appropriate given my relationship to you,â you try to make your answer seem cool and collected. You think it comes across this way and you hope he thinks it came across that way.Â
âArenât we friends?â He muses, something hidden behind his tone.Â
âAre we?â You retort. What do you mean, is his next question. âWeâve just met as of last week and I donât know much about youâŠâÂ
Again, he looks at you cheekily as you turn left down the street that leads to your apartment complex.Â
âThat can be easily changed.âÂ
At this point, youâre sure heâs flirting with you. Flirting with his goddamn teaching apprentice assistant. You have to shoot it downâfast. You donât like how the idea of another man flirting with you makes you feelâmainly because itâs not a negative feeling.Â
âIâm just up here,â you motion toward the large complex you live in. Itâs a nice, private community that luckily you can afford on your apprenticeship salary. Your parents will help you from time to time which is something you canât complain about, but for the most part, itâs just you and your gray tabbyâSushi.Â
âThanks for walking me home again,â is what you say as he leads you up to the main entrance.Â
âNo problem,â he responds as he stops walking as you continue forward up the short set of stairs. You turn around, looking down at him two steps up from him. The wind is blowing some, his hair looking soft and touchable. Tuggable, even.Â
âSorry if I took you from your friends,â you donât know why but you canât find it in yourself to walk away from him just yet. Youâre unsure the last time a stranger was this nice to you. Despite your first two crashing meetings, Jeon Jungkook seems like a genuine soul.Â
âBack at you,â he nods before his chest rises slowly, his gaze not leaving yours, âI enjoyed this more.âÂ
A faint smile spreads across your lips, unable to hide it. You donât even want to hide it. Heâs been so nice to you that it makes you feel giddy on the inside. Itâs reminiscent of when you had your first date with Taehyung. The single thought of him, drains all emotion from your face when you realize what youâve just thought.Â
You need to leave.Â
âIâll see you around,â you finally murk up the courage to dissolve this evening, âThank you again, Jungkook.âÂ
He holds your gaze, a glimmer in his eyes as they reflect in the street light. Definitely looks like stars.
 âAnytime.âÂ
â€
Unlike most Fridays, this one had your mood shifted in the dumps. Straying from your normal routine, Taehyungâs flight for New York was leaving this evening. You hadnât even seen him since last weekend, but you tried your well not to dwell too much. This was just another part of your routine together. He would be back before you knew it.Â
You are currently sat with a few of the students outside on a coffee break of your own, them on lunch break. There was a large section of the rooftop that was flat with tables and extravagant plants along the sides of the roof. It was probably the most peaceful and serene part of this entire side of the university.
Youâre sat with Jisoo, Lisa, Yugyeom, and Jungkook around a circular table. The weather is getting so nice and the sunâs vitamin D feels too good against your skin. Youâre sat sideways in the chair, your legs hanging off one side of armrests, an iced coffee balancing in your lap. Despite you being older than all the students here, a one year difference truly isnât anything. Sometimes you still felt like you were in university when hanging out with all of them.Â
âHowâs your exhibition pieces going Y/N?â Yugyeom is the one who asks the question. Youâve taken notice him and Jungkook have become good buddies in a short amount of time. You can feel the latterâs eyes on you, but you intentionally ignore him.Â
âAwful,â you donât even attempt to sugar coat it. You know that theyâve probably heard Seokjinâs scoldings recently.Â
âReally? But your winter exhibition pieces were so good,â Lisa pipes in. Your stomach sinks and you wish you could curl into yourself even more.Â
âI thought so too,â Jungkookâs voice suddenly appears and you turn your gaze to him. Heâs sat to your left, but Jisoo is in between you two.Â
âHowâd you see them?â You donât mean it to come off harsh, but given heâs transferred here in the middle of the semester, thereâs no way he could have seen them.Â
âI was in Park Kihyunâs department before I switched to Seokjinâs,â he says, leaning back into his chair as he sips on what looks to be banana milk. Today heâs wearing an all black ensemble of a black t-shirt and baggy black sweatpants.Â
You make a noise of understanding. That makes much more sense. Park Kihyun was another highly respected artist and professor at the university. Probably even more than Kim Seokjin. He was head of the honors department of the university which is a cult of its own. You were talented as hell, but not even Kihyun would consider you for the honors program, let alone an apprenticeship. He was by far the hardest professor you ever, ever had which is why you only took one class from him. You learned your lesson fast. Though itâs quite impressive to hear Jungkook was in his department. You wonder why he switched, but you probably already know too much about Jungkook, so you leave it.Â
âIâm sure everything will work out Y/N,â Lisa gives you a reassuring smile from across the table.Â
âItâs just a funk, Iâll break out of it,â you shrug your shoulders. At this point, youâre hoping if you say it out loud enough, that the funk will indeed be broken.Â
More talk occurs between everyone, though Jungkook doesnât say much. When he does speak, he contributes a funny joke here and there. Heâs deliberate with what he says and you understand that. One of your better traits is that you donât act out of pure emotion. You want what you say to matter and no get lost in translation. Perhaps another parallel between you and Jungkook.Â
âY/N!â Someone bellows from behind you, âYouâve got a visitor!âÂ
Your eyebrows furrow as you swing your legs down, to turn around to see who is your so-called visitor. You put a hand up above your brows, to close out the sun. When your vision focuses, your heart swells at the sight. It also lurches with anxiety.Â
âTaehyung?â You ask him as heâs approaching you with a bag of food from what looks to be your favorite sushi restaurant down the street, âYou didnât tell me you were coming.âÂ
You stand to meet him once he approaches the table. You can feel everyoneâs eyes burning holes in you. Everyone here knows you have a boyfriend, having seen Taehyung many times. All except one.Â
âI wanted to surprise you before I left,â he sets your food down on the table before waving to everyone, âHey guys.âÂ
Everyone doesnât miss a beat in greeting Taehyung before he turns back to you, pulling you in for a hug. He places a kiss on your temple gently just as you meet Jungkookâs eyes from your stance. He watches you curiously before they flick to Taehyung, his tongue playing with his lip ring.Â
âMy coworkers and I decided to get lunch on this side of town and I wanted to bring you some,â he says while looking down at you. Of course heâs dressed in a perfectly tailored navy suit and shined shoes, his hair a little slicked back today. You would love nothing more than to hop onto a plane with him to NYC, but unfortunately investment bankers donât get plus ones on business trips.Â
âYou didnât have to do that,â youâre speaking in a lower register, hoping that your lunch groupâs own conversations drown out yours.Â
âI wanted to,â he smiles, one hand squeezing your waist in reassurance, âListen um, my trip may be a little longer than I expected,â his voice is low and deep, hesitant even.Â
Your heart feels like it clenches in your chest and youâre sure whatever color was in your face is gone. So this is why he wanted to come see you.Â
âHow much longer?â You whisper, trying to keep your composure. Youâre sure you can feel a certain someoneâs eyes on you, but you canât look at anyone but Taehyung.Â
âMaybe two weeks, max,â he says quickly and trying to remove any doubts from you. You look down at your feet for a split second before you glance back up.Â
âThatâs okay,â you grimace, knowing you canât control it so why is there reason to be upset? âNamjoonâs gonna be there⊠you guys should meet up.âÂ
He nods with a small smile, his eyes searching yours deeply. He knows you and he knows that youâre not happy right now, but Taehyung had no choice. Work calls and work calls hard and fast. You both knew that. He gives you another temple kiss, this one a little longing.Â
âI love you,â he says, giving you a hug. You donât even care to be embarrassed of PDA in front of the others. This was your boyfriend of yearsâyou could hug him in public if you wanted.Â
âI love you too,â you pause, âHave a safe flight.âÂ
Taehyung speaks to the rest of the gang for a couple moments. Heâs only asking how everyone is since he recognizes everyone, even if he canât remember everyoneâs names exactly.Â
âI donât think weâve met?â Taehyung questions the dark haired boy a couple feet from him.Â
âIâm Jungkook,â he says, his voice slightly cold, âI just transferred into this department.âÂ
You watch the interaction carefully, your palms sweaty and your heart rate up. You canât pinpoint why you feel nervous like this in front of Jungkook. More specifically, in front of Jungkook with Taehyung right here. You were sure if Taehyung knew Jungkook walked you home last night he would have been thankful, but another part of you thinks it would have made him pissed, given you werenât with him at the restaurant to begin with.Â
âNice to meet you,â Taehyung smiles before glancing at his watch, âAlright, I gotta run babe. Iâll text you when I get to the airport.âÂ
You tell him okay before he pecks you on the lips, leaving swiftly after. Jungkook looks away, a hand of his finding its way to the back of his head to scratch it awkwardly. You seem to be stuck in place, unable to sit back down until Lisa grabs your attention. As much as you appreciated the sushi, the last thing you felt like doing was eating.Â
As you sit down, Lisa asks if everythingâs okay. You donât miss a beat when you say yes, shrugging off your apparent sadness. Your eyes meet Jungkookâs briefly and you can tell he doesnât see through your bullshit. You canât tell if it makes you uncomfortable or if youâre grateful for it.
â€
Your phone dings, prompting you to set down your pencil. You open the a text from Taehyung, smiling down at your phone. When you expand the photo, itâs a picture of Namjoon with Taehyung holding a beer out in front of him. Itâs clearly from last night, given it is early morning in New York now, but still charms you. Namjoon worked as a writer for an art magazineâhence why he traveled the most of all of your friends. From Paris to NYC to AmsterdamâNamjoon has been there, done that.Â
You respond with a simple Miss youâ€ïž
Itâs been a few days since he left now and thankfully, heâs been pretty responsive and active on his phone. In the past, some of his work trips have been so busy there were days in which the two of you wouldnât talk at all.Â
You stretch your legs out on the small sofa you have in your workspace. You grab your sketch book from your lap, tending back to what you were drawing. You liked doing pencil work in between the major pieces that would actually be submitted for galleries and exhibitions.Â
âYouâre still here?âÂ
A voice startles you, jumping slightly in your position. You crane your neck to the door where you find Jungkook has made his way into your space. Given you had the door open and Jungkook has become a good acquaintance to you, you donât mindâbut a knock would have been nice.Â
You glance down at your watch. Itâs almost 8 PM, the light outside barely poking through the darkness now. You honestly hadnât even noticed. You stayed cooped up in your work space pretty much all day.Â
âAnd youâre still here?â You retort, watching as Jungkook saunters over towards you. He looks tired, his bag looking a hundred pounds on his shoulder. You scrunch up your legs to give him a signal he can sit if he wants. You notice he has on black converse, matching the ones on your feet. Youâve always liked when guys wear converse, though you know Taehyung wouldnât be caught dead wearing them.Â
He lets out a deep sigh as he plops down on the small couch. He runs a hand through his hair, letting out a yawn. You have to fight your own as you watch him.Â
âLong day?â You ask him.Â
He nods slowly, âI was nearly finished with the piece Iâve been working on but I wasnât paying attention and ended up streaking my canvas.â he explains.
"Aren't those just happy little accidents?" you quirk an eyebrow and he lets out a deep laugh.
âSeokjin made me start over, so no," when his eyes meet yours, you catch your breath.
You scrunch your nose up, âSounds like Seokjin,â you give him half a laugh.Â
âWhy are you still here?âÂ
You look around the now dimly lit room, with a shrug. You picked up a paint brush for 10 minutes four hours ago. You had no idea why you were still here.Â
âLost track of time,â you shut your sketch book, stretching your arms slightly. âIs anyone else here?â
Jungkook shakes his head, âNot that Iâve seen,â he pauses, âThis feels like the start to a horror movie.âÂ
You laugh with a sputtering of your lips. Jungkook made a good point. A late Wednesday evening, two people alone in a huge university hall, pretty much all lights killed, and quiet enough to hear a pin drop. It was the perfect storm.Â
âAs long as weâre both virgins, we should be safe right?â You raise an eyebrow at him, a joking tone to your voice. Luckily, he understands your reference as he laughs with a side smirk.Â
âTotally,â he licks his lips which you watch shamelessly, but quickly looking away not wanting him to see you stare. âNeed a walking buddy home?â Is his next question.Â
As much as you should refuse, given the time and proximity of your and Jungkookâs apartment from the school, it only makes sense. Itâs not long after youâve gathered your things that you and Jungkook are locking up your studio, headed towards the direction of your apartment.Â
The entire walk is peaceful and comfortable. You walk with your hands shoved into your sweatpants pockets, Jungkook mirroring you, keeping a good distance between you two. You talk about random things, with each conversation flowing easier than others. You feel as if Jungkook is quickly moving from student acquaintance to actual friend. You were friends with most of the people in the classes you assisted, but you had never interacted with them as much as you had Jungkook. He just always seemed to be thereâthough you didnât mind his company at all.Â
Youâre currently laughing at something heâs said about a childhood story about him and his brother. You now know the reason for the faint scar on the left side of cheek. You would have never taken Jungkook as a competitive person, but getting to know him a little more day by day, he most definitely is.Â
The two of you have almost made it to your apartment complex when sudden, heavy raindrops begin to fall from the sky.Â
âShit,â you mutter as you two have taken brief cover under a business awning.Â
âCâmon,â Jungkook encourages with a short laugh, grabbing your forearm to pull you behind him. Itâs hard to keep up with his quick steps, but you manage.Â
While you two ended up at your complex entrance faster than you would have at your previous paceâyou both are still soaked. The rain has also chilled the air, sending a shiver down your spine. Jungkook is muttering something about how Busan has always had much better weather when you get a full look at him. His hair is wet and flat to his head, but heâs pushing his fringe back to expose his forehead. His white t-shirt sticks to his chest, his silver chain grabbing the light. You gulp, a familiar stir in your tummy.Â
âDo you want to come up and dry your things? Or a least grab an Uber or something to get to your place?â Youâre mouth is offering the words before you can think about them. Fuckâthat was stupid.Â
As Jungkook looks down at your frame, heâs contemplating your offer, but then saysââNo, no itâs okay, Iâll be fine.âÂ
You counter, âNo please, I definitely have sweatshirts big enough for you.âÂ
He looks back out at the rain that has only seemingly got worse. He lets out an exhale before nodding, thanking you in the process.Â
Once you cross the threshold of your apartment, you instantly feel warmer but also more claustrophobic. This had to have been a horrible mistake. Your apartment was your safe havenâwith very few people ever getting the chance to see your space. Taehyung and Sana were the only regulars in your home. Youâre hyper aware glancing around the kitchen room and living room area, thanking yourself for cleaning up last night. Jungkook has already witnessed how much of a mess your art is, the last thing you need is for him to think your home is a mess too.Â
You excuse yourself to retrieve a sweatshirt for him and a new t-shirt for you to throw on. After you change, you nearly stop in your tracks when Jungkook is pulling the wet t-shirt off his frame. His back is to you, but godâitâs a hot back. His frame isnât that big, but heâs got defined muscles well, everywhere.Â
You approach him slowly, alerting him that you have a sweatshirt for him. The two of you trade items of clothing, gaze holding anywhere but him. Luckily for him, you pretty much only bought sweatshirts double your size, so the Nirvana sweatshirt fit over his frame nicely.Â
âYour place is nice,â he comments as you throw his t-shirt into your dryer.Â
âThanks,â you give him a smile when you walk back into your kitchen. Heâs sat at one of your barstools, watching your frame intently as you rummage through a cabinet above your microwave. Your eyes widen at the sight, stomach grumbling the process. You hadnât ate in hours and you were sure you could eat a horse at this point.Â
âDo you want one?â You look over your shoulder as you stand on your tip-toes to pull down an instant ramen cup.Â
âWas my hunger that obvious?â He laughs and you roll your eyes, grabbing him a cup too. You whip up both of your instant ramens in less than 5 minutes, handing him a pair of chopsticks when youâre finished.Â
As youâre about to rip open the flavor packet and squeeze it in like your normally would, Jungkookâs method has you stopping in your tracks. Heâs got the flavor packet carefully tucked between his teeth, a chopstick on either side of the packet pushing out every drop of the sauce you could possibly get.Â
âThatâs fucking genius,â you marvel at him, mouth still slightly agape. âDid you come up with that?âÂ
He laughs, his nose scrunching up in the process, âProbably not, but Iâll pretend I did just for that reaction.âÂ
You ask him to help you, knowing that you will now be using this ramen hack till the day you die. He carefully tears a small rip the packet for you, telling you to take the corner between your teeth. You follow suit with the chopsticks and youâre simply amazed again as you watch the flavoring all dump into the noodlesânone of it wasted.Â
He laughs at you as you continue to rave about the genius of this ramen hack, questioning whether or not Namjoon knows about it given heâs the smartest person you knowâeven though he has no idea who Namjoon is. Then suddenly, Jungkook jumps slightly in the barstool, looking down at his legs.Â
âYou okay?â You ask with concern as you put your chopsticks down.Â
At Jungkookâs feet is a little grey tabby catâa little chubby, but cute as hellâstaring up at him as it rubs its head against his ankle.Â
âI see you have a cat,â he comments, looking down at it with an endearing expression.Â
âOh! Yeah,â you pause, taking a couple steps around the kitchen island to see him, âHis name is SushiâŠâ you trail off, not believing the sight in front of you, âAnd he seems to like you?âÂ
âHi Sushi,â he says with a mouthful of noodles before he swallows. It's cute. âDoes he not like people?âÂ
âHe usually just doesnât like men,â you watch in awe as Sushi then lays down right at Jungkookâs feet, continuing to stare up at him. âHeâs just gotten to where he can stand Taehyung, and Iâve had him for two years.âÂ
You donât know why you tense up when you mention your boyfriend. Maybe itâs because you know Jungkook probably shouldnât be in your apartment. Maybe itâs where Jungkookâs presence makes you feel nervous, yet a little too comfortable. He doesnât know you as a friend whoâs been in a serious relationship her entire 20âs. He knows you as the friend who happens to be his teacherâs apprentice.Â
Jungkook though, uses this as a window of opportunity.Â
âHow long have you two been together?â He chooses his words carefully, not wanting to come off too strong or curiousâthough he absolutely was. After your boyfriend had come visit you last week, he had an array of questions.
You take a deep breath in and out, leaning against the counter, âAlmost five years.âÂ
âDamn,â is what he says after a moment of silence, âThatâs half a decade.âÂ
You laugh at his comment, âSounds longer when you put it like that.âÂ
He finishes his ramen, âThanks again,â he says as you take his chopsticks and stick them in the dishwasher. You then turn your back to throw away the cup. âHowâd you meet him?âÂ
You pause momentarily as you open the cabinet where your trash can resides, clearing your throat, âThrough mutual friends.â
You turn around and Jungkook nods knowingly, taking another glance around your apartment. Your apartment is decorated simply, but he can read the flares of a scatter brained artist easily. You have olive green cabinets, a cream sectional sofa with mismatched colored pillows, a funky shaped coffee table thatâs a pink marble, and a corner of your living room thatâs a bit of a clutter with art supplies. It makes him smile inwardly, as he has a similar clutter up in his own living room.Â
You watch him as he studies your apartment carefully. Deep down, you hope that he likes it. After all, it wouldnât be much longer that this space wouldnât be yours anymore. As his eyes come back to the kitchen, something in particular catches his eye. You can pick up on it, giving the widening of his pupils and straightening of his posture.Â
âYou got tickets Yayoi Kusamaâs exhibit?â His says almost stunned. You follow his eyes over to the small bulletin board you have hung up in your kitchen. You stick important reminders and other tasks for you on it, but what Jungkook is looking at are two tickets tacked the board.Â
âYeah, Taehyung got them for my birthday.âÂ
Your heart sinks as the words leave your mouth. You couldnâtâ even imaged what Taehyung paid for the tickets, but he knew once he realized the exhibit was coming to the city, he had to get them for you. The two of you were going to go together, making an entire planned Saturday around the exhibit. Now, those plans were shot out the window given he was going to be in New York until next week.Â
âShit, I canât imagine what he paid for them,â he seems to be speaking his thoughts, which coincidentally match your own. âYouâll have to take pictures, Iâve always wanted to see it.âÂ
As your shoulders fall, eyes looking down at your ring finger againâan awful habit you need to break.Â
âIâm not going anymore.âÂ
âWait, why not?â His voice is rushed and confused. Itâs just then when your dryer dings, signaling his shirt is now done. You give him a small smile as you leave to retrieve it, hurrying back the kitchen.Â
âTaehyungâs still on a business trip, he wonât be back until next week,â you explain as you fold his shirt with crisp, clean lines. You slide the fabric over to him, his hand brushing yours as he grabs it hesitantly.Â
âYou should still go,â he says, leaning on his elbows. His gaze his heavy, but heâs mesmerizing so you canât look away.Â
You start to shake your head, âItâs alright,â you say with a half laugh, trying to make it seem as if it doesnât bother you.Â
Jungkook perhaps regrets his next words and how fast he says them butââIâll go with you.âÂ
Your mouth slightly parts, unsure of what to say. If you acted on emotions all the time, you would have jumped to say yes, of course! But as your boyfriendâs face flashes across your eyelids every time you blink, you hesitate to answer.Â
âIâm sorry I shouldnât have,â he laughs, breaking the awkward tension in the room, but as you glance at the tickets againâyou know you canât say no to him.Â
âNo, no, youâre fine,â you smile at him softly; the kind of smile that girls give Jungkook that drives him crazy. âYou really donât have to if you donât want to.âÂ
Jungkook is good a reading peopleâwhich scares you. Jungkook can sense every change in peopleâs breath, demeanor, and language. Youâre sure he could read how you fell sad thinking about not going to the exhibit, but you also didnât want him to tag along out of pity for you.Â
âIf you want to go, I want to,â he pauses, leaning towards you from across where you stand. âIf you donât, then I donât,â itâs almost a challenge coming from his lips. He chews on his lips ring as he waits for your answer.Â
After a few moments of debating internally, âIâll let you know,â is what you leave it at. Jungkook seems satisfied with your answer, not pressuring you any further to give in to his proposition. Jungkook goes in an Uber soon after since the rain has not given up. Sushi meows as he leaves, even allowing Jungkook to hold him for some quick cuddles. Once heâs gone, the only traces of him left are his faded scent in your sweatshirt and his number in your phone.Â
â€
Itâs now Saturday, you and Jungkook standing in line for Kusamaâs exhibit. He met you here about thirty minutes ago and luckily both of you didnât arrive any later. The line was moving fast, but the amount of people thatâs accumulated behind you goes on for what seems like a mile.Â
It was quite warm today, opting to wear a white, polka dotted midi-dress and a pair of high top converse. Your hair was down and a bit messy, curls from the other day having fallen slightly. A compliment was the first thing that left Jungkookâs mouth when he saw you. You absolutely hate the bubbly feeling his gaze and words leave in your stomach. Itâs reminiscent of how Taehyung left you when you first met. You know you should ignore it, but itâs so hard when heâs standing there looking like thatâseemingly always saying the right things.Â
Today, heâs dressed casually in a pair of baggy jeans that youâve seen him wear before, a yellow t-shirt, and a black bucket hat. You canât help but glance down at his tattooed arm every once in a while. You think about how youâd love to hear the stories behind them all. You also think about how is pain tolerance must be insanely high, given his shirtless escapade at your place, you noticed how the tattoos traveled all the way up to his right shoulderÂ
After both of your tickets are scanned and a map of the exhibit is given to him, he opens it, his eyes scanning over the paper quickly.Â
âWhere should we go first?â He asks as he lean over to peak at whatâs to see. Unlike most art galleries which are quiet, this one has softer music accompanying each room, making it less awkward to talk if need be.Â
âThis one,â you point to the biggest, most famous room that youâve heard all about. Itâs a dark room, with intricate lights throughout. You hoped that pictures youâve seen of it weâre only doing it half-justice.Â
He laughs a deep rumble from his chest, âShouldnât we do that one last?â He looks down at you with a small smirk on his face.Â
You furrow your eyebrows, âNo, itâs the most famous one, donât you want to see it?âÂ
His smirk spreads to a smile, âI know that,â he pauses, âLetâs do that one last so we have something to look forward to, and maybe there wonât be as many people in there by the time we get to it.âÂ
Okay, you think, fair point.Â
The two of you settle on starting at the All the Eternal l Love I Have for the Pumpkins. As soon as you walk into the room, you are completely in awe at the magnificent work. Despite it being mid spring, the âpumpkinsâ on display along with fall-oriented music in the background, makes you desperately wish for the cooler weather of October. Jungkook is fascinated too as his eyes only get bigger as he takes in each and every detail.Â
The two of you make your way around the exhibit slowly, having to wait for some of the rooms to open since the gallery is quite crowded. The next room you go into is called Dots ObsessionâLove Transformed into Dots. Itâs got a pink hue to it, large white balls with black dots on them.Â
âI think you stole her idea,â Jungkook comments as you take pictures, his eyes scanning down your dress. You flip him off, which he responds with a laugh.Â
Phalliâs Field is the next room. Unlike the previous rooms, this one is bright with what looks like a field of while, red-dot phallic shaped objects. Jungkook ends up taking a mirror selfie of you two in this room and you make a mental note to ask him to send it to you later.Â
The next one is called Love Forever, another dark room with a changing light color pattern thatâs abstract in nature. This one makes you think of Taehyung and rightfully so. You know that he would have enjoyed this, given that he likes art thatâs stimulating and not âboringââhis words, not yours. You snap a picture of this one for him, hoping that heâll like it and the name.Â
The second to last one is called Aftermath of Obliteration of Eternity.Â
âJesus,â you say after you read the name of it, âRealist much?âÂ
Jungkook laughs as he follows you into the room. Itâs dark again, with twinkling yellow colored lights filling the space. It reminds you of a fire. The yellow flickers to a slight orange shade every millisecond, giving off a summery feel. It makes you think of your childhood, when your parents would take you to the beach and roast marshmallows over an open fire. The thought makes you a little sad, knowing that those times would never come back. That was before you knew about loss of innocence and the high standards of your parents that would come.Â
Finally after a couple hours of diving into each room, along with reading each story behind the pieces, you reach the room that youâve been itching to get to all day. Youâre welcomed into the room and an immediate gasp leaves your lips.Â
âWow,â you whisper as you take a big glance around.Â
âHoly shit,â Jungkook says behind you just as the door is closed. You realize that itâs just the two of you here in. He definitely made the right call about waiting.Â
The Souls of Million Of Light Years Away is simply breathtaking. Itâs dark again, but this time with what looks like actually a million lights twinkling in all different forms of colors and shapes. Each light bounces off the mirrors and you imagine this is what being in space is like. A dark void with a million galaxies around you. Itâs oddly peaceful even though you can barely see your hands in front of you or Jungkook behind you. You donât notice, but Jungkook quickly snaps a photo of you in the light, your silhouette showing up with the millions of lights behind you. Heâs smiling at his phone when you turn around, and you ask him whatâs up.Â
âNothing,â he shakes his head, âThis is just amazing.âÂ
You hum in agreement, not wanting to leave the room. As you find Jungkookâs eyes, another tiny gasp leaves your lips. If you werenât confident enough before, youâre sure that his eyes are made of stars now. The light bounces off his brown, doe eyes, blending into the gallery seamlessly. He licks his lips before he asks if youâre ready to go. Hesitantly, you slowly nod, your feet heavy as you leave the room and follow him out.Â
When you make it back outside, itâs still light outside which makes both of your eyes sensitive since youâve just spent a little over two hours in the dark. Since the exhibit was on the opposite side of the city, both of you opt to take the subway back towards your respectable apartments. Both of you are sat together at the back of the car, looking through your pictures again, marveling at the exhibit.Â
âThanks for coming with me,â you say with a smile. Youâre sitting at the window seat, your body turned to Jungkook. Heâs slightly turned towards you too, one of his legs curled under his body.Â
âI kind of invited myself,â he chuckles, leaning onto his hand thatâs support his head.Â
âAnd I accepted your invitation,â you retort, âTaehyung would have loved it,â you add, a little bit of sadness to your tone.Â
Jungkook watches you intently as you break away your gaze, to stare at the rumbling floor of the subway car. Heâs chewing on his lip ring again, a habit he canât break ever since he got it pierced months ago. He doesnât know anything about your relationship with this Taehyung guy, but he senses that something is off. Anytime youâve spoken about him, your eyes drift off and your attitude shifts. He canât help but be more curious.Â
âWhat does Taehyung do?âÂ
âHe works in finance,â you say, âPrivate equity.âÂ
Jungkook nods slowly as he receives this information, knowing exactly what youâre saying. His own parents relationship flashes in his mind and it suddenly clicks for him. Long hours in the office, holding out for the weekendsâwhich even then arenât guaranteed, high stress levels. That type of financial work is no jokeâit takes a toll not only on the person doing it, but everyone around them. His heart suddenly feels for you and for a brief moment he feels as if he is talking to his mother.Â
He suddenly wonders why a person like you, would be with a guy like that. You have so much light and fireworks within you, he doesnât know why you would subject yourself to a relationship thatâs seemingly all black and white. People like his father and Taehyung see the world in black and white. You and Jungkook see the world in vibrant color.
âIâm assuming he stays quite busy then,â Jungkookâs words are calm; understanding even.Â
You give him a tight lipped smile before you nod, âIâm sure you know.âÂ
His eyes study your face closely, âAs long as he makes time though, itâs all that matters,â he pauses briefly, âThatâs just always been the issue with my parents.âÂ
He doesnât know why heâs saying what heâs saying. Internally maybe he sympathizes with you? Wants to make you feel less alone? Whatever it is, he doesnât like how your demeanor completely changes when your boyfriend is mentioned. Itâs like youâre the flame of a candle and when Taehyung is mentioned, youâre blown out.Â
Though Jungkookâs words are sweet and genuine, you can't help but still feel bitterness towards Taehyung right now.Â
âClearly makes time,â you chuckle sarcastically with an eye roll, before you realize what youâre actually saying. âSorry, I shouldnât be ranting to you about my boyfriend,â quickly covering your tracks with another laugh, this one lighthearted.Â
âIsnât that what friends do?â He nudges your leg with his own, covering any of his own transgressions towards your boyfriend smoothly, âListen to other friends rant about their boyfriends?âÂ
You smile at him before looking up at the subway to car to see how much longer you have until your stop. Youâve still got 10 minutes.Â
âAre you telling me thereâs a boyfriend I havenât heard you rant about?â You raise a brow at him attempting to make a joke with him.Â
He chuckles, âI donât discriminate,â he says pointedly, âBut no, no one to complain about at the moment.âÂ
âThatâs a little surprising to me,â you tell him honestly. He makes a humming noise in question, âI mean youâre funny, talented, attractiveââ you stop yourself, your heart twisting embarrassingly at your words.Â
A playful smile crosses his lips, âDonât inflate my ego too much Y/N.âÂ
You immediately shove him playfully telling him to shut up underneath your breath, âYou know what I mean though.âÂ
His eyes look away from you as he looks to the front of the subway car. An exhale leaves his lips, shrugging his shoulders, âI dated a girl for a couple years but we broke up last semester,â he explains.Â
Youâre friends with Jungkook, so you donât mind asking your question. âWhat happened?âÂ
He purses his lips in contemplation, his lip ring catches the reflection of the moving train, âI think I was more serious about the relationship than she was,â he clears his throat and you shuffle a little awkwardly in your seat, âI think we just wanted different things at the end of the day. Itâs hard to make something like that work long term, you know?âÂ
His words send your heart rate skyrocketing and you canât help but ask yourself if thatâs the situation you and Taehyung are in. Though you and Taehyung have voiced a life togetherâactions speak louder than words. You look up again. Five minutes.Â
You nod in response, unable to form any words.Â
âItâs fine though,â he says, âEverything happens for a reason.âÂ
âYeah, including meeting a guy who knocked me on my ass the first two times I met him,â you say jokingly, though you mean every word. Youâre sure Jungkook was placed in your life for a reason; like a blossoming star in the galaxy burning bright to light up a universe.Â
âYou actually knocked me on my ass one of those times.âÂ
âOh please,â you roll your eyes, âThat was all dramatics Jeon Jungkook, I can see right through you.âÂ
He smirks with playful eyes, âYou say that like itâs a bad thing.âÂ
âI donât know⊠is it?â Subconsciously, you bite your lip under his gaze. It drives Jungkook nuts.Â
He quirks an eyebrow at you with soft eyes, âYou tell me.âÂ
His gaze his heavy and thereâs palpable tension between you two as the train comes to a slow. Thank god.Â
 âThis is my stop,â you announce.Â
âI can walk with you if you want?â He offers, not wanting to leave you alone if you really donât want to be alone.Â
You shake your head softly since itâs still light outside, âIâm alright, thank you though.âÂ
He nods, not pushing you any farther. After the train stills fully, he stands up to let you through. Your chest brushes against his as you shimmy between him and the seats behind you. Unable to look away from him as you maneuver, you feel the tension increase with no space between you two. God, why does he have to look at you that way?
âLet me know when you get home,â he says as you get by him. You nod, waving him a final goodbye, a familiar heaviness in the bottom of your stomach.Â
It takes about seven minutes to reach your complex from the subway station and as youâre walking into the main lobby, your phone pings.Â
[Jeon Jungkook 5:23 PM] image.png
The image takes a moment to load, but a smile spreads across your face when you open it. The mirror selfie is cute as hell and it almost looks couple-ly. Jungkook is standing behind you, his arm thrown around your shoulder as you lean into him. Youâre soft smiling into the camera, a peace sign in your left hand. You save the image to your camera roll immediately.Â
[You 5:25 PM] Thank you :) I just got home btw!Â
He sends a thumbs up, before another picture is sent through. This one loads faster since youâve just walked into your apartment and his words leave you feeling like something is clogging your windpipe.Â
Itâs a picture that you had no idea he took of youâthough you canât really see any details of yourself, itâs stunning picture. Your silhouette in the dark with the surrounding lights is simply beautiful.Â
[Jungkook 5:27 PM] I think youâre beautiful enough to fit into that exhibitÂ
[You 5:27 PM] You too
Yeah, youâre fucked.
â€
For anyone else it was just another Monday, but for youâthere had been a new page turned. You have no idea what conspired in your brain from Saturday to now, nevertheless something changed. Well, there had been a couple changes since then, however youâre trying to not focus on that.Â
You woke up early this Monday with an itchiness to your body. You ended up going to a spin class at 6 AM, before hurrying to shower and getting to the university by 7:30. Before you could rethink your decision, you were throwing out every piece of artwork that you had finished in the last two months. A part of you was already regretting trashing the canvases as you hauled them overhead into the large dumpster bins. The major part of you felt relief and a sense of newnessâfor the first time in months, you felt inspired.Â
The only way you knew you could take advantage of this newfound creative impulse, was to rid yourself of anything holding you back. That meant getting rid of the shit pieces you thought you would submit for the exhibition.Â
You manically texted Sana a picture of your now empty studio and she responded immediately.Â
[Sana 8:17 AM] what the actual fuck did you just do
[Sana 8:17 AM] Y/N itâs literally 8 AM are you okayÂ
You canât help but laugh at her words as you sit in the floor of your workspace, typing a response quickly.Â
[You 8:18 AM] A new me has awakened⊠that or Iâm just very sleep deprived and acting out
[Sana 8:20 AM] i think it could be the latter
[Sana 8:20 AM] where has this new me come from?Â
You purse your lips, trying to block out the scene from your brain.Â
[You 8:21 AM] My therapist lolÂ
You know thatâs not it, at least not all the way. Sure talking to her was always a highlight of your week when you did, finding a new perspective on your childhood and need for outside validationâbut that was another story for a different day. A new wave of emotionsâconfusing, chest-tightening emotions have crawled through your veins in the last two days. Even if you know itâs so wrongâyouâre holding onto them for the sake of the exhibit and your own sanity.Â
Itâs not long after when you pick out a new, clean fresh canvas for you to work on. You set it up on one of your larger easels, facing it towards the sunlight as best as you can. You decide to take a page from Sanaâs book by creating a rough sketch of what you want to eventually put on the canvas. The ideas in your head are so particular, and soâheart wrenchingâyou wanted to ensure you translated it well.Â
It takes about an hour to sketch the rough outline for the painting. You knew that painting this first piece would probably take a few days if you were consistent with it, wanting to add as much detail as possible. Realism was your speciality, but it never gets any easier. The slightest mistake can make a face, or hands, go from looking like a photograph to a cartoon character. You didnât know what you wanted to call the piece yet, though you had a few ideas rummaging through your brain.Â
Seokjin is calling you in for his 11 AM sketch class which you help with regularly. As you leave the serenity of your workspace, sudden anxiety fills your body. Your hands are clammy, your throat feels as if itâs constricting on itself, and your tummy is doing flips. Seeing him is the last thing you need, but you know his schedule very well at this point.Â
A week ago, you wouldnât have cared. Now, you feel as if an invisible line as been crossed.
As you step into the classroom, your mouth goes dry. Jungkook is sat in the middle of the classroom beside Lisa, both of them looking a little tired and chatting randomly.Â
Seokjin looks at you with a small smile, âYou were here early this morning,â he comments.Â
You give him a smile back, hoping he doesnât murder you after you say your next words, âI threw out my pieces.âÂ
His face drops, all color leaving it, âYou did what?â He looks stunned as you grimace at him with an apologetic look on your face. He glances down at his watch which says itâs now exactly 11 before he says under his breath, âWeâll talk about this later.âÂ
It sounds threatening, but you know if you explain yourself well enoughâheâll let it slide. After all, he clearly wasnât a fan of what you presented to him recently. Youâll prove to him that youâre new stuff will be ready for the exhibition, and more importantlyâpresent a much better side of your art.Â
âI hope everyone had a good weekend,â Seokjin greets everyone, with a few tired responses back. âJust a reminder for all of you participating in the exhibition, your pieces will be due at the end of this month, so make sure youâre staying on top of your deadlines.âÂ
You zone out of Seokjinâs housekeeping information for the class, letting your eyes wander around the classroom. Sketching was one of his larger classes, with students in other departments also taking the class as an elective. It was personally one of your favorite classes in undergrad. You were happy to help this class, given you felt you could actually help the students if they needed it.Â
A breath hitches in the back of your throat when your gaze meets Jungkookâs from the front of the classroom. Heâs staring at you with purpose, though his gaze soft and curious. You hadnât spoken to him since your last text after the art exhibition. That wasnât the plan, but given your mind wandering to places it shouldnât have, you felt if you did talk to himâhe would see right through you.Â
You quickly break his eyes, unable to hold it without feeling too hot.Â
A fucking sex dream.Â
A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook.Â
A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook who happens to be your subordinate.Â
A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook who happens to be your subordinate in which you woke up in a panic, then having to use your vibrator to release the tension in your tummy.Â
A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook who happens to be your subordinate in which you woke up in a panic, then having to use your vibrator to release the tension in your tummyâall while you have a boyfriend whoâs away on a work trip.Â
Youâre unsure if you have ever had a dream so realistic and so blissfulâeven with Taehyung. Every time you closed your eyes since Saturday, all you could see was Jungkookâs face buried in between your thighs, your back arching off whatever surface you resided.Â
You force yourself to stop thinking about itâyouâre in the classroom for fucksakes. The last thing you need is for people to notice you squeezing your thighs together under the desk youâre sat.
âY/N, are you good with that?âÂ
âHm?â You mumble, realizing youâve daydreamed through whatever Seokjin just explained.Â
He looks annoyed as he lets out a deep breath, âBeing the hand model today?âÂ
Your eyes widen, your mouth parting as you look down at your hands. Thankfully you got a manicure last week, though the almond acrylics have already grown out some. Even though Seokjin was posing everything as a question, you knew you had no choice. Especially if you didnât want him on your ass about throwing out your paintings, you really had no choice.Â
You nod slowly, Seokjin soon setting up the projector and camera for you to place your hands under.Â
âTake as long as you need, turn in your sketches here,â Seokjin taps the corner of the large desk youâre sat at.Â
Youâre given free rein on how you position your hands, so you settle on something feminine and simple. You lay your left hand over your right delicately, your right palm flat against the wood. You feel a little insecure with your hands being projected as 10x the size above your head, but you relax knowing itâs just what you artists do. If you were in the students position, you would have much rather sketched your hands than the one time Seokjin made you all sketch someoneâs feet one time in undergrad.Â
The classroom stays pretty much silent, pencils and erasers against paper the only sound radiating. Time goes by slowly as they all continue to sketch, your eyes having not really left anything in close proximity to you.Â
That changes when you hear a throat clearing, a tone you could pick out in a crowd.Â
âDo you care to move your left hand a little forward, Y/N?âÂ
Jungkookâs voice is smooth through the silence. Instinctively, your eyes meet his again. You give him a nod as you reposition your hands slightly. It takes him a moment to get back to drawing, his gaze heavy on your eyes. You have to break away, your thighs itching for more relief. You look down at your hands, wondering how they would look around his cock. You imagine heâs thick, veinyâstop it, you idiot!
Whatever was going on in your head, it needed to be stopped and fast. You just didnât know if you actually wanted it to.Â
â€
Taehyung comes back Friday morning, giving you a call as soon as he lands. Youâre finishing up the piece you started on Monday when your phone rings.Â
âHi baby,â Taehyung greets you and you can hear a smile in his tone. It makes you smile in return. âHappy Friday,â he says knowingly.
âHappy Friday to you,â you respond, taking solace on your small couch for a small break. âYou just land?âÂ
âAbout an hour ago, just got into my ride, heading to the office,â he explains.Â
âYou just got back from a two week trip and theyâre making you go in office?â You ask him with confusion lacing your tone. You had no idea how he kept up with the demands of his jobâif anything, the older you two get, you feel sorry for him. You knew he loved his job, but goddamnâit has to be too much sometimes?Â
âOnly working a half day today,â he pauses, âWhen do you finish today?â He asks eagerly.Â
âHmm,â you look at your watch, a nice gold piece of jewelry Taehyung actually got you a couple years ago for Christmas, âIâll probably leave around three today.âÂ
âIâll come to your place then,â he says, a particularly suggestive tone to his voice. You find yourself smiling as you relax into the couch some, letting out a deep sigh. âRoses and a bottle of champagne included,â he adds.Â
âNo need for all that,â you bite your lip in anticipation, âUnless weâre celebrating something?âÂ
âLots to celebrate baby,â he says, âYou and I have a fancy date tomorrow.âÂ
âDo we?â You press, chewing on some skin around your thumb nail but quickly stop, not wanting to ruin your cuticles. You then bring your left hand up, staring at your ring finger.Â
âOh yes,â he says hurriedly, âListen Iâm about to go into the office, but Iâll give you more details when I come over okay? Love you.âÂ
âI love you too,â you say before heâs ending the call. While your heart swells at the thought of âcelebrating,â something, you canât help but be a little skeptical. The rush in Taehyungâs tone shows thereâs something heâs nervous about, but you take it as a good thing. Nervous about proposing? You could only hope.Â
The rest of the afternoon you finish up your painting, a relieved sigh coming from your lips as you sign the bottom right corner with your initials. Itâs just how you imagined itâthe bubbles leaving the girlâs mouth and nose as she screams under the water, her hands clawing for the surface, but the weight of a cinderblock tied to her ankle sinking her down in an abyss of dark water.Â
You settle on calling it Drowning for the Sake of Drowning.Â
â€
As youâre gathering up your belongings to get ready to leave, you exhale in relief. Youâve kept the door to your workspace closed all week unlike usual, indicating for no one to bother you. Sana brought you lunch a couple days ago but aside from that, little to no interaction has occurred with anyone.Â
Youâve managed to fully avoid Jungkook this entire week after the sketching class on Mondayâwhich is exactly what youâve needed. The boy with the lip piercing has taken up too much space in your brain recently. You like having Jungkook as a friend, but thatâs all he can ever be and until your brain can separate that and whatever feelings youâve garnered for him over the last few weeks, avoiding him like the plague is your only solution.Â
Of course, nothing in your life ever goes to plan which is why you nearly knock yourself over when you run right into him as you leave your office.Â
âShit, you okay? We really have to stop doing this,â He asks you with a slight laugh. It takes you a moment to nod in response as you stare up at him with parted lips. Any progress youâve made of pushing him out of your mind, crumbling entirely. Heâs in your brain again, his face in your thighs, hands gripping your hipsâ
âYouâre leaving already?â He asks as he observes your tote bag held tight to you, the door to your space closed.Â
You clear your throat while simultaneously clearing your head, âY-yeah, I finished my piece early,â you pause, debating if you should say your next sentence, but you know morally you should, âTaehyung came back today.â
Jungkook stiffens, scratching the back of his head, âCan we talk?â His voice is timid, but stern in what he wants.Â
If you hadnât thought about your answer, you probably would have gladly invited him back into your workspace and god knows what would have happened.Â
âI canât right now,â you say, âIâm meeting Taehyung around three,â you explain, your feet picking yourself up to brush past him. Itâs close to 2:45, which means you donât have much time to get home.Â
Jungkook startles you when he grabs your forearm to stop you, âY/N, wait,â his voice is rushed and desperate as he turns his body to face you, you pressed flush against his chest. You jerk out of his grip, taking steps backwards.Â
âJungkook,â you say warningly, âI canât do this right now,â your voice is weak and unconvincing as you turn around, rushing away from him.Â
Jungkook decides on letting you go giving a frustrated tug on his hair as he watches your frame disappear down the hallway.Â
âFuck,â he mumbles to himself, kicking the closest wall to him, ignoring any pain that shoots up from his foot.Â
â€
Youâre standing in front of your large mirror, examining your dress to ensure itâs smooth in all the right places. Itâs a silk midi-dress thatâs a light sage green color complimenting your skin tone beautifully. Thereâs small, tasteful cutouts on the side that leads it to an open back.Â
âWow baby,â Taehyung gives you a pretty smile as he enters your bedroom, âYou look great.âÂ
Youâre in the process of lacing up your heels around your ankle, throwing him a small smile.Â
âThank you, you look handsome.âÂ
Heâs wearing another one of his immaculately tailored suits, though heâs ditched a tie and vest, opting for a more casual lookâwell casual for him being that itâs a work-sponsored party.Â
Turns out, the big fancy date Taehyung referred to yesterday was an invite only company party at Taehyungâs bossâs, bossâs, bossâs estate. While it wasnât a typical Saturday night for you two, with a chance to dress up with free food and booze, it was something you couldnât say no to. (Even if you wanted to say noâyou really had no choiceâyou were there to support Taehyung.)
âWill you help me with this?â You ask him as you hold up a necklace. He obliges, stepping towards you, he gently grabs the necklace ensuring any stray hair pieces were out of the way as he encircles to clasp it around your neck. Once heâs finished, he wraps two strong arms around your front, pulling you flesh against his front.Â
âYou smell good,â he inhales your scent as he nuzzles into your neck, pressing his hips into your backside.Â
âTaehyung,â you laugh, fighting away from his grip, âOur ride is almost here,â you turn around giving him a pointed look. He pouts with a groan, but you give him a quick peck to wipe the sour look off his face.Â
The estate is about thirty minutes outside the city and being in such a fancy car with a driver, you already feel slightly uncomfortable. One of the reasons you were attracted to Taehyung was because of how different he was from you and your upbringing. You felt as if you desperately craved something different from what your parents had. You liked the idea of simplicityâblack and white. No chaotic artsy types. However, as the car continues its drive to the fanciest suburb of the city, you canât help but feel the differences swallowing you whole.Â
Taehyungâs busy on his phone seeming to be answering emailsâyes, at 8 PM on a Saturday night. Your foot is tapping nervously against the floor, an uneasy feeling settling again in your tummy. Ever since Taehyung showed up at your apartment yesterdayâa man of his wordsâwith roses and champagne, something deep within you felt off. Flashes of another set of brown eyes strike across your lids each time you close them.Â
You obviously hadnât had sex since Taehyung had been gone, almost a three week dry spell, and it was just⊠okay. You found it hard to relax the minute Taehyung initiated it, your muscles tense as he undressed you slowly wanting to make love to you after one glass of champagne. Maybe itâs where Taehyung is still keeping secret on whatever you two are supposed to be celebrating or itâs Jeon Jungkook himselfâyour body physically wouldnât let you come in Taehyungâs presence. Two rounds of sex ended with you having to use your vibrator to finally get off and the third round this morning, you ending up faking an orgasmâsomething you havenât done in years.Â
The driver is in queue for drop off service, letting you and Taehyung out as soon as he could. You eyes are marveling at the sheer size of the home. It almost makes you sick when you think about people having this much money. Thereâs not one, not twoâbut three fountains just at the front of the house. Two are positioned beside the large entrance and the third is in the middle of the circled driveway.Â
From what you can tell, there are a good amount of people inside already, the large windows indicating that.Â
âWhose house this again?â You say in awe as Taehyung grabs your hand.Â
âThe President of our company,â he says, keeping his voice low as other people are walking in around you.Â
âHoly shit,â you whisper to yourself when you cross the threshold, immediately greeted with flutes of champagne.Â
Taehyung smiles down at you as he takes a sip, âGet used to it baby,â he comments with a light-hearted tone, but you know heâs being serious. You donât like it.Â
The inside of the home is just as lavish as it looks from the outside. Itâs modern, with clean lines and sharp contrasts of whites, creams, browns, and blacks. The large foyer is an open concept, the house opening up in multiple ways. Thereâs two staircases that lead to the upstairs, corridors that lead elsewhere to the left and right, and if you continue straight, thatâs where the main party seems to be. The living room is large and open, warm ambient lighting filling the space. Thereâs a 70âs inspired conversational pit with a large plush couch thatâs the center of the room. Itâs absolutely stunning.Â
You two havenât been in the house for two minutes until his coworkers and others are coming up to greet Taehyung. He introduces you with a big smile, holding you by the waist as he does so. You sense youâre one of the younger ones of the groups you go around to, sometimes forgetting that Taehyung has almost four years on you. His words come naturally to him and you try your best to converse with people and their plus onesâbut you find it hard, unable to find any common ground with anyone.Â
Taehyung is talking to one of his closet coworkers that youâve met many timesâJaebumâbefore the latterâs eyes widen.Â
âShit Tae, there he is,â he speaks lowly, his head directing what heâs referring to.Â
âWho?â You ask curiously, looking around to find someone special but everyone seems to look the same. Clean cut, nice suits, hot women and men as their dates, a few children even running around freely.Â
âThe President,â Taehyung explains, âShit and heâs coming over here with Minwoo,â he sounds nervous, Jaebum visibly shifting his weight in his shoes. Minwoo was Taehyungâs bossâluckily you remember that from previous work tangents.Â
As Minwoo and the president approaches the small group of you three, you suddenly feel a little insecure when Taehyung takes a step away from you. A large smile spreads across his face as they approach and your feet hurt a little more now that heâs not letting you lean on him. Is he ashamed of you? Why did he step away?Â
âKim Taehyung, Lim Jaebum, the two greatest assets to my team,â Minwoo smiles widely as he enters your circle.Â
âMinwoo, how are you?â Taehyung reaches out to give him a handshake, then bowing to the President.Â
âCanât complain about anything,â Minwoo has a great smile, âWho is this beautiful lady?â His eyes have gravitated to you.Â
âThis is Y/N,â Taehyung introduces you with a nervousness to his tone, âSheâs my girlfriend.â
âNice to meet both of you,â you smile with a small bow of respect.Â
âThese are the two Iâve heard so much about, eh?â The President speaks with a cadence that sounds familiar but you canât place your tongue on it.Â
âLike I said, the very best in the Seoul office,â he smiles, âHave either of you met President Jeon?â
Itâs as if your entire world shuts down instantaneously. It canât beâthereâs no way.Â
âI canât say weâve ever had the pleasure sir,â Jaebum nudges Taehyung and suddenly you have never felt more uncomfortable, more out of place, than ever.Â
They all speak briefly before suddenly, President Jeonâs attention is set on you. As you study his face, you feel your nightmare coming true. Finance, the eye shape, the noseâ
âSo what do you do Miss Y/N? Are you involved in business too?â He asks with a smile, though youâre unsure if itâs just a facade.Â
Youâre nervous to answer, but you finally muster to shake your head, âNo sir,â you start, âIâm an artist, Iâm under apprenticeship with someone right now.â
His eyes suddenly light up, âReally? Which artist do you work with?â He sounds fascinated and you hate where you think this may be going.Â
âKim Seokjin, Iâm not sure if you know of him,â suddenly in need of a glass of something stronger than champagne.Â
âDo I know Kim Seokjin?â He nearly laughs, âIf you walk the halls of the house Iâm sure youâll recognize some of his pieces on the walls,â he says boastfully, your nightmare coming true, âOne of my sons actually goes to university where he teaches, you may know him⊠Jeon Jungkook?âÂ
For whatever reason, the mention of this name catches Taehyungâs attention who is caught up in conversation with Minwoo and Jaebum. Heâs listening to the original conversation in one ear, the other trained in on yours with the President.
âI donât think I do actually,â you lie smoothly trying to hide the shakiness in your voice.Â
âAh, thatâs a shame, though he can be a pain in the ass sometimes so that might be a good thing,â he jokes with a laugh before turning his attention back to Taehyung and Jaebum.Â
When you look back up at Taehyung, heâs staring at you with an intense glare, his jaw slightly clenched. You furrow your eyebrows, asking him a silent, âwhatâs wrong?â He ignores it, his face relaxing back to normal when he looks at his superiors.Â
âWell, I truly hope that after the move you two only continue to move up in the company as quickly as you already have,â Minwoo says a you zone back into their conversation. Wait, what?Â
âAh yes,â President Jeon says, âThe office in Chicago is nearly finished and to be able to fill it with analysts of your caliber, it will only continue to grow this great company.âÂ
Chicago?! Your face falls, your eyebrows furrowing as you look over at Taehyung. His body is tense, but heâs refusing to look at you. You suddenly feel dizzy and sick to your stomach, your hands clammy as if youâre going to throw up. Before Taehyung can stop you while his attention is elsewhere, you excuse yourself, attempting to find the nearest bathroom.Â
The house is gigantic and it doesnât take long to find a one as youâre sure there are probably 20 on the entire property. You balance yourself on the sink, turning on the cold water water quickly. You grab a towel to wet it, carefully applying it to your chest to cool off.Â
Taehyungâs being moved? Is Taehyung choosing to move? When was he going to tell you this?! Is this the sole reason he asked to move in together?! But meaning in Chicago, not here?!Â
You needed a fucking drink. You throw the towel in a waste basket, exiting the bathroom quickly. You hold onto the wall as you walk down the hallway, looking for the nearest open bar. You manage to find one set up just outside, which overlooks a large entertainment area and pool. If you squint, in the distance you can see the lights of the city. Godâyou wanted to go home.Â
You settle for a glass of a dark red wine, sniffing it before you take a large sip. It instantly relaxes you, the alcohol moving past your tongue easily. If anythingâit tastes like grape juice.Â
Wanting to avoid Taehyung at all costs, you mosey around the party, finding a staircase outside that leads back into the house. You slowly take the stairs, your mind racing a million miles per hour. Youâre sure Taehyung has tried to call you at this point, but your phone is buried deep in your shoulder bag on purpose. You donât think you can face him at all right now. After this glass of wine, youâve decided youâre going to call an Uber and get the hell out of here.Â
As you reach the top of the stairs, you stop dead in your tracks. Right in front of you stands Jeon Jungkook. Heâs bent at the waist, leaning over the railing with a wine glass in hand. His gaze was looking out into nothing but since heâs heard heels coming up stairs to his right, his head turns to find you.Â
He nearly drops his wine glassâwhich would have definitely injured someone belowâor at least severely stained a shirt or two.Â
âY/N?â He asks, standing up tall. Goddamnit, you think. Heâs dress immaculately in a thickly-striped suit with a white button up thatâs slightly undone at the top. His hair is slightly parted back off his forehead and you feel yourself spiraling.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â He asks after youâre unable to speak. After meeting Jungkookâs father, youâre definitely not surprised to see him hereâbut if anything, you feel as if you could break down in tears at any moment.Â
You realize that youâve seemingly walked up to a balcony that enters into a large bedroom. You wonder if itâs Jungkookâs bedroom, or just a random guest balcony heâs found solace in.Â
âIââ you cut yourself off, trying to keep your composure, âIâm with Taehyung,â you manage to croak out. You can see the puzzle pieces clicking together for Jungkook in his head despite the darkness surrounding you two. However, itâs not that he cares aboutâ
âY/N⊠are you okay?â He asks with genuine concern, stepping towards you slightly.Â
He notices the way your wine glass subtly shakes in your hand, your breathing uneven, your lips tucked away as you begin to shake your head no. He makes no time in rushing over to you steadying yourself against him.Â
âWhat happened?â He asks as his brows lace with confusion as he settles you some against the railing, feeling a worry creep into him like heâs never felt before.Â
Youâre more even with Jungkookâs height in your heels now, your eyes bearing deep into his. His presence is calming you down and you feel safe right here. You open your mouth to speak, though nothing comes out. Heâs patient and gentle with you, waiting for whenever youâre ready.Â
You take another sip of your wine before speaking, âI think Taehyungâs been lying to me.âÂ
Jungkookâs face falls, âWhat do you mean?â He asks in a rush.Â
âItâs not important,â is what you settle on. You donât know if youâre in the mood to explain anything to Jungkookâlet alone if you want to explain anything.
His face goes straight, letting out a deep breath, âYou donât have to tell me anything you donât want to,â he pauses, stepping away from you some to lean against the rail whilst facing you. âBut Iâm here if you want to talk⊠I want you to be okay.âÂ
His words feel like a warm hug wrapping around your heart. You lean back on your elbows, staring up at the stars. Deep breathes, you tell yourself. When you look back to him, his gaze hasnât left you at all.Â
âHow can I be okay in a world like this?â Your voice breaks off as you bat tears away in your eyes. âAll of this,â you motion with your hands, referencing all the luxury and extravagance, wine dangerously swishing around, âWasnât supposed to be the plan⊠why does my partner of almost five years feel the need to not tell me about him moving six-thousand miles away for his fucking job,â your voice now bitter and angry as you break his eye contact.Â
Shit, Jungkook thinks. He bites his lip ring, contemplating his words and emotions. He hates to compare you to his motherâyouâre much more of a strong-headed person than herâbut itâs so reminiscent of his childhood and listening to her on the phone with her girlfriends and the arguments with his father.Â
âItâs only ever about work with him,â you continue, a fire burning deep within you, âWhy should I have to be the one to drop everything in my life to cater to him? Have the past five years of my life been a fucking waste?â again, you have to be conscious of your center of gravity as you feel tears wanting to brim over.Â
âDonât say that,â he quickly interjects, his tone soft and calm.Â
âWell it sure fucking feels like it Jungkook,â you spit back at him, though he remains calm and collected. âHe wonât even fucking marry me yet heâll drop everything for this job and all the fucking fake extravagance of it all.âÂ
When you mention marriage, Jungkook is slightly taken aback. Obviously heâs picked up that your relationship has been long and serious, but thereâs been no indication of thoughts of marriage. Hell, Jungkook didnât even hear you mention Taehyung until weeks after you first met.Â
Your voice trembles as you speak, unable to fight your emotions anymore, "I want friendship in my love for Taehyung but I don't want just a friend," you sip on the wine slowly as Jungkook watches you closely.
"I want to be cared for, and protected, and indulgedâŻâŻ" you pause again, trying to make sense of your words, "I want to be chosen everyday... is that too much of me to ask?"
Jungkook shifts in his position to fully face you. He shakes his head, one of his hands brushing a piece of hair behind your ear gently.
"It's never too much to ask," he says, his words careful yet understanding. He's felt these emotions all too well himself. He chose his ex-girlfriend everyday, yet she seemingly never chose him. It's an excruciating pain when you love someone more than they love you.
âI donât even know why Iâm telling you all this,â you mutter, downing the rest of your wine glass to avoid a spill.Â
âY/N, you know I care about you,â he says with a careful tone. You meet his gaze again, which now is a little more harsh as if something is stirring inside him, âCan I be honest with you?â He raises a brow.Â
âAlways,â you whisper, slightly afraid of what heâs about to say. Mirroring you, he downs the rest of his wine too for some confidence.
âI know what itâs like to feel like you donât belong and out of place. I mean this is where I fucking grew up,â he lifts a hand, a laugh emitting from him, âI think youâre one of the most incredible people Iâve ever met. Y/N, you posses a talent that people can only dream of. Youâre smart, and kind, and funny, and so fucking beautiful,â he pauses as he clenches his jaw, âYou walk into a room and all I see is you. You radiate a spark that I canât even begin to describe how special you are and ifââÂ
He cuts himself off, afraid he may take it too far, but when youâre still fully attentive, he says it anyways.Â
âAnd if you marry someone like him, Iâm afraid that spark will go away,â he pauses, âI know it will go away⊠because it happened to my mother,â his voice is barely a whisper as he finishes, him being the one to break eye contact with you. âSo no, it's not too much to ask. You deserve someone who chooses you, puts you above everythingââ he cuts himself off before he can continue on, sighing deeply as he glances away from you.Â
Youâre simply speechless as his words sink into your bones. Your breath is shaky and you can tell Jungkook thinks heâs overstepped his boundaries. You donât think he has, but his words do feel like someone has cauterized your insides. It hurts to hear a harsh truth, but as his words sink in, you canât help but wonder if heâs right.Â
âSorry I justââ
âItâs okay,â you speak softly when you interrupt him, âI want you to know that⊠I think youâre special too, Jungkook.âÂ
Jungkookâs hand thatâs on the railing begins to tighten around it, his knuckles turning white as frustration pulses through his veins. You notice his tight grip and you place your own hand over his to relax him some. Thereâs mere inches between you two now, but itâs comforting and it feels like only you two are left in the worldâthe party raging down below and throughout the house drowning out. While your head is spinning from the two glasses of alcohol that you had sipped on earlier, you know that most of it comes from his intoxicating scent. Heâs everywhere at all times and you think this is some sick joke manifesting itself into reality as you feel yourself leaning into him. When he says your name slow and calculated, you know that youâre a puddle in his hands, ready for all the consequences that may come with your decision. You just donât know exactly how it could have reached this point.Â
âY/N,â he says again as heâs now got you trapped between his body and the railing, your nose is brushing against his and youâve never experienced a want so badly in your life, âWe shouldnât do this.âÂ
Your breathing is rugged and nervous as you look into his eyes.Â
âI know,â you whisper back, your throat feeling like it could close up any second.Â
You have no idea who leans in first, but when your lips touch hisâitâs a spark that might as well be made of lightening. Itâs terrifying the way it took only three seconds to melt into him and get a groove. He feels like heâs been dipped in honey and youâre eating him sweet and slowly. He inhales deeply through his nose as he deepens the kiss by opening your mouth with his tongue, his lip ring slightly cold against your skin. He tastes like red wine, furthering intoxicating you against the railing. Your hands slide up his chest, tangling into his hair as you pull him flush against you.
He breaks the kiss for a moment, looking you in the eyes again for another silent question of consent. You nod quickly, missing the feeling of him on you. This time, he kisses you a bit rougher as one hand digs into your waist, the other halfway choking you. Godâthis is so wrong, so morally wrongâbut every bone in your body is screaming yes.Â
You donât think youâve experienced anything of this magnitude in years. You feel him growing hard in front of you, which only further escalates your feelings towards him. When you drag your hand down and over his growing bulge, he breaks away quickly.Â
âShit Y/N,â he breathes away grabbing your hand away from his most sensitive area, âWe need to stop.âÂ
You shake your head, never wanting this moment to end. He continues to kiss you feverishly, unable to get enough of you.
âI wanna make you feel good,â you breathe out heavily as his forehead rests against yours.Â
âI know baby, I do too,â his use of the word baby sends a jolt down your spine, âBut we canât.âÂ
His voice is strained and itâs painful for him to stop whatever was about to happen. He wants nothing more than to bury his mouth in between your legs and then stuff you full of his cock thereafterâbut it has to stop. Not only is your boyfriend at this party, probably looking through hell and high water to find youâbut Jungkookâs father is your boyfriendâs boss. This canât happen.Â
A small whine from rejection leaves your throat, but you know heâs right. Not only did you just cheat on your boyfriend of nearly five yearsâsaid boyfriend was still at the party you were his date at.
Fuck.Â
âAre you going to go home with him?â He asks suddenly. You honestly hadnât thought about it since being away from Taehyung. You were still angry and frustrated with him, unsure if you even wanted to see him again tonight.Â
You push Jungkook away from you a little bit to shrug off your shoulder bag to retrieve your phone. To your surprise, you only have two texts and one call from Taehyung, which honestly make your heart drop. You were expecting more, but you assume that work calls and he was too busy to try and actually find you.Â
[Taehyung 9:02 PM] Are you okay?? Where did you go?Â
[Taehyung 9:37 PM] We should talk when we go home. Call me when you see this.Â
Jungkook watches you bite your lip nervously, feeling a bits of shame fall over your body. You meet his eye contact before saying that you should go.Â
âIâll walk you out,â he offers, which you donât refuse. Youâre not sure you could find your way out of here. Thereâs an awkward silence between you and Jungkook as he floats through the halls of his childhood home easily. You end up recognizing two of Seokjinâs pieces on the walls and you have to roll your eyesâthereâs no escaping him in your world.
You still canât believe Jungkook grew up to be who is he when he was raised like this. Beautiful, creative, and freeâall from this stuffy background when he could have easily turned out to be a nepotistic douchebag. It makes your feelings towards him only grow even deeper.Â
At this point, there's no trying to fight it. You've fallen for Jungkook, your kiss with him the final seal of the deal.
The two of you have reached the foyer where you first entered and you instantly spot Taehyung up near the front door talking to another one of his colleagues. You feel like you could throw up and you almost change your mindâwanting to turn around and hide with Jungkook somewhere in this mansion. But, both of you have created a mess at this point and youâre going to have to clean it up.Â
Taehyungâs eyes have traveled all overâlooking worriedâuntil they land on you. He looks relieved but as soon as he spots who you are walking with, he visibly tenses up.Â
âYou should go,â you turn to Jungkook, stopping in your tracks briefly. He looks down at you with an expression you canât read, giving you one nod before heâs turning on his heel away from you.Â
You donât waste anytime looking at him not wanting Taehyung to be suspicious of anything, continuing your march to him.Â
âHeyâwhere have you been?â Taehyungâs voice is calm, a sweet smile spreading across his face when you reach him. He doesnât bother introducing you to the other guy and his date, ending the conversation and practically dragging you outside by the hand in a tight, rough squeeze and pull.Â
âTaehyung youâre hurting me,â you manage to get out, Taehyung immediately dropping your hand.Â
âShit,â he runs a stressed hand through his hair, âIâm sorry babe,â he grabs it kissing it gently as the driver pulls up the car, âIâve just been worried about youââ
âOnly two texts and one call worried?â You retort, an offended look crossing his face. âOr are you too worried about your impression at this fucking party to worry about me? Too worried about your move to Chicago to worry about me?â Your words are fiery hot, not caring if anyone around hears you.Â
His eyes narrow at you, a visible gulp in his throat.Â
âWeâll talk about this at home,â his own voice is seething and youâre unsure if youâve ever heard him this angry. As the car pulls up, his eyes flicker back over to the front entrance of the house. You promptly follow them, your heart stopping when you realize Jungkook is leaning against a column at the front of his house, lighting a cigarette in the process.Â
As you get into the car, the last thing you see is Jungkookâs eyes in the dark and the glow of his cigarette. Taehyung gets in after you and you know for sure that youâve made a wrong decision.Â
â€
âHow could you hide this from me?!â Youâre voice is shaky as you watch as Taehyung stands in the kitchen of his apartment, leaning on his palms, unable to keep eye contact with you. You two hadnât spoken once in the car on the way back to his place, but as soon as you crossed the thresholdâyouâd been at his throat. Rightfully so.
âY/N I was going tell to youââ he pauses as he looks up at you, but you interject before he can say anything else.Â
âWhen Taehyung?!â Youâre fighting tears at this point, âWhen you got on the fucking plane to leave me here alone?!âÂ
He makes his way over to you and the only thing you can do is step away from himâyou could barely look at him right now, let alone want him to touch you. He opens his mouth to say something back, but closes it quickly, trying to think more about his words.
âI didnât know how to Y/N,â is what he settles for, âI swear I was going to tell you soonâI-I wanted to let you know and for us to get excited and start looking at places to live!â
You feel a tear fall from your left eye and you know that youâre done for, your jaw shaking as you try to take deep breaths in and out. You begin to shake your head, unable to form sentences.Â
âY-you should have t-talked to me about it first Taehyung, do you not understand that?â More tears fall down your cheeks and you brush them away roughly. He opens his mouth again but you stop himââNo Taehyung! Just shut up for two seconds!â Your outburst startles him, letting you continue, âWeâve been together for almost five yearsâfive years Taehyung, youâve continuously put your career over everything. Your family, friends, meââ
âIâm doing this for us Y/N!â He interrupts you which only makes you even more pissed off.Â
âWhat if I donât want it Taehyung?!â You push back, âAll Iâve ever wanted was just⊠you. I donât need the fancy parties, tailored suitsâall the money and status, itâs all bullshit! All I needed was you and now youâre leaving your life here, expecting me to just drop everything Iâve worked for, just for you! Do you not realize how fucking selfish that is Taehyung?!âÂ
You can tell heâs about to cry nowâa rare sight. His jaw clenches as he looks away from you, hands on his hips in frustration. When he doesnât say anything, you take a step towards him, putting a finger to his chest.Â
âYouâll go halfway across the globe, that committed to your job and you wonât even fucking commit to meâafter five yearsâyou donât want to fully commit to me, and thatâs whatâs fucking killing me right now TaeâŠâ your voice trails off, a full on sob escaping your lips now.Â
âBaby you know thatâs not true,â he rushes out, grabbing your wrist in desperation, âI love you so much, so fucking much. Thereâs never been anyone so perfect for me,â he chokes out.Â
His touch is comforting, but it feels strange. You feel like you donât know the person standing in front of you.Â
Youâre shaking your head slowly, âSometimes it doesnât feel like it,â you pause, looking at him through watery eyes, âAnd this is one of those times.âÂ
âY/N, baby please donât cry,â he leans down, his forehead touching yours, âWe can work through this, weâll build a good life together I promise⊠I just have to make this move for me, our life will be so goodâŠâÂ
Selfish, selfish, selfish.Â
Your heart feels like itâs being ripped to shreds in your chest. Itâs like youâre drowning, unable to come up for air. Your eyes close firmly as you lean into him.Â
âTaehyung I love you so much,â you whisper, âBut Iâm not leaving my life here,â you pause, opening your eyes again, âI canât do it.âÂ
Your words feel like gunshots to your own chest, choking on your mild sobs. Taehyung is shaking his head in denial, his own emotions becoming too overwhelming.Â
âNo, no, no baby please,â heâs begging you, pleading with you, âDonât say that to me please,â his deep voice is so shaky you can barely understand him, âYouâre breaking my heart right now.âÂ
âSo are you,â you canât talk louder even if you wanted to. You felt your entire body being broken in half, as if a piece of you is being ripped out from under you, âI should go,â you wiped your face as you try to pull yourself away from him.Â
He pulls you back, âNo, Y/N, please donât do this right now.âÂ
You fight against him, pushing yourself off of him, âI need to go home Tae.âÂ
He doesnât fight you anymore, watching as you gather your purse and phone off his kitchen counter. He whispers your name again as you open his front door to leave. You turn over your shoulder, tears still streaming down your cheeks.Â
âI love you,â his voice is weak and tired.Â
You nod, âI love you too.âÂ
You find yourself sitting on the steps outside of Taehyungâs apartment building, knees to your chest as you continue to sob to yourself. Taehyung lived in one of the nicest parts of the city in one of the nicest apartment complexes, so you werenât wary of anyone sketchy finding you on the steps. The only thing you could think about was getting out of this dress and heelsâa hot shower to cry inâand curling into a warm blanket for sleep, ignoring everything that just happened.Â
Was this a breakup?Â
Should you go back upstairs?Â
Would you really not move with Taehyung?
So many questions are spinning in your head that you need to be distracted from. You pull out your phone, calling the one person you'd want to see right now.Â
â€
You walk into the threshold of Jungkookâs apartment a little after midnight. Lucky for you, he answered on the second ring, on the way back from leaving his parents home. Heâs been worried sick the entire drive back to his apartment. Youâve barely spoken a word, tears and choked sobs emitting from your lips. He made the effort to hold your hand the entire drive, which you gladly accepted. He sets down your heels at the door with his own shoes, following in behind you.Â
Thankfully, youâve calmed down significantly on the drive over. You take in your environment, inhaling the familiar scent on Jungkook. His apartment is a studio and its spotless, abate a corner filled with art supplies in his living room. The entire right side of his apartment is exposed brick, his bed situated closer to the large floor to ceiling window, a large couch a few feet over, partitioned by a desk and plant. His apartment is much more modern than yours, grey and cream being the prominent color heâs chosen to utilize.Â
âThank you,â you turn around to meet his eyes which have the same concerned look in them since heâs picked you up.Â
He nods, not wanting to press any hard questions to you just yet, âDo you want some water? Anything else?âÂ
You nod, âSure, water is good.âÂ
He quickly grabs you a glass, filling it with his Brita in the fridge, handing it over to you as fast as can. It feels good as you drink it, your throat raw from all the crying and voice raising.Â
âDo you want me to take you home in a bit?â He asks hesitantly as he shrugs off his jacket.Â
âIâI was hoping I could stayâŠâ you trail off, âIâll take the couch,â you add quickly, âI just donât really want to be alone right now.â
He gives you a soft smile, a small dimple forming on his cheek, âOf course, Iâll take the couch, donât worry about it.âÂ
Jungkook makes you feel right at home, offering you a shower and clothes. You happily take them both, turning on his shower as hot as it can go. His bathroom impresses you even more with how clean it is and you finally feel like youâre able to relax after this hellish evening. You donât wash your hair, only scrubbing your body and makeup off, but itâs still a good shower. Jungkookâs products smell good and you like the idea of smelling like him.Â
Once youâre out, you quickly change into the large long sleeve t-shirt heâs giving you. The sleeves go way past your hands and it hits you around mid-thigh. Itâs soft and comfy, reminding you of many nightgowns you have back at your place. He even has some body lotion in the cabinet and you run some over your legs just so you donât wake up ashy.Â
You hang up your towel on the rack before heading back out into the studio space. You find Jungkook sitting on his couch, manspread slightly with his phone in one hand, a glass of wine in another. He must have just opened a bottle, given the cork and bottle are on the coffee table.
He notices you when you get close, sitting down beside him with a heavy sigh. Your mind and body are exhausted. His couch is comfy and you could fall asleep right now with him by your side. He offers you a sip of his wine, which you gladly take.Â
âRed or white?â You ask him curiously.Â
He purses his lips in contemplation before answering red, âIt reminds me of grape juice,â he adds.Â
You give him a small smile, the universe continuing to give parallels of your and Jungkookâs lives.Â
After a few moments of silence and finishing the glass of wine together, Jungkook finally asks, âWhat happened Y/N?âÂ
Your breath is shaky and you quickly ask him to pour another glass of wine for you two.Â
âI think Taehyung and I may have broken up,â you donât believe the words as you say them yourself. Your eyes are fixated on the floor, your leg bouncing up and down to keep your composure.Â
âYou think?â He questions further, confusion lacing his tone.Â
âH-he,â you pause, holding in any further tears, âHeâs really moving,â you confirm from the conversation earlier, âHeâs moving six-thousand miles away from here and just thought I would be okay with it,â you regain your consciousness, looking to your right into Jungkookâs eyes, âI donât have to be okay with that, do I?âÂ
Jungkook rests his head against the back of his couch as his eyes soften for you, âNo, you donât,â he shakes his head.Â
âFuck, Iâm sorry I called you, I shouldnâtââ
âHey,â his hand finds the side of your face and you lean into his touch, âYouâre my friend, you could call me anytime and Iâd answer.âÂ
You donât know who put Jungkook into your life or why, but the timing was immaculate. He was put in your life when you seemingly needed a breath of fresh air and a new ray from the sun. Youâre thankful for it.Â
âIâm sorry about earlier too,â you say, referring to the kiss you two shared on the small balcony.Â
Suddenly a playful smirk spreads on his face, âIâm not,â he says biting his lip ring. You canât help but let out a laugh, him matching you as you both down the second glass of wine. Jungkook opens up an arm for you and you cuddle up next to him, leaning into his body and scent. Youâve done a complete 180 in the last hour, all thanks to the man to your right.Â
The two of you continue to talk about random things, him trying his best to make you feel better through lighthearted jokes and other things. Neither one of you mention Taehyung again which youâre grateful for. Itâs not long until you find your eyes drifting to sleep, unable to keep them open any longer, you fall asleep curled into Jungkook, his head leaning on yours, wishing that he could stitch up every single wound in your heart.
â€
You wake up the next morning pretty early, your head slightly hurting. Did you really drink that much last night? Youâre warm and comfortable, the bed under you molding to your frame perfectly. When your vision finally focuses, a panicked thump of your heart occurs. Waitâyou lean up on your elbows sightly looking around the apartment. Everything from last night comes rushing back into your head and you look over to your left to find Jungkook sleeping peacefully on his tummy, his face halfway buried in his pillow.Â
The sight makes you smile as you maneuver underneath the covers to reach over and grab a sip of water from his small nightstand. You wonder why Jungkook is in bed with you, but then as you go through every scene in your head, you briefly remember Jungkook carrying you over to his bed, eyes barely open. You then remember telling him to stay with you, that he was warm and you were cold. Of course, he couldnât say no.Â
âMm,â a noise comes from Jungkook garnering your attention. When you look over at him, heâs got one eye open looking at you, a small smile playing on his face, âCome back to bed,â he mutters.Â
And itâs exactly what you do. You finish the small amount of water left before you situate yourself back into his sheets. Jungkook moves onto his side, opening his arms for your frame. You press your back to his chest as he pulls you close, spooning you from behind comfortably. His scent was everywhere, he was everywhere, and before you know it, youâre falling back to sleep together.Â
Itâs a couple hours later when you wake up again, feeling much more rested and your head not pounding anymore. Jungkookâs arm is still around your front resting just below your belly button as he holds you close. The shirt that you wear has bunched up around your hips, your bare legs touching his covered in sweatpants.Â
You consider yourself to be very hyper-aware of your surroundings. You always have beenâtaking in every detail of every moment carefully and calculated. Sometimes you use it to your advantage, sometimes you donât. This is one of those times where youâre feeling every detail, a breath hitching in your throat.
Jungkook is half-hard behind you. Whether itâs that, or how dangerously close his hand is to your pelvic bone, thereâs a jolt of lighting that pulses through your veins. You bite your lip in contemplation weighing through options in your head.Â
Taehyung and you may have broken upâa grey area still there and growing. Despite how youâre possessing guilt about last night, youâre not sure if the relationship can be salvagedâwhether the kiss with Jungkook happened or not. You love him, have loved him for so longâbut heâs leaving and youâre not going with him.
You definitely know you need to speak with him again, sooner rather than later. If you do nothing, you still have to speak with him.Â
Jungkook has been a ray of light in your life the past month. Ever since the friendly date at the art gallery, thereâs been a tension between you two that was briefly explored last night with a simple kiss. Youâve been very self-aware of your feelings for Jungkook. You know he makes you feel inspired, seen, heardâbut still, if you do nothing, you still have to talk to Taehyung.Â
If you do something, youâll still have to talk to Taehyung.Â
But right here, right now, itâs something that you push to the back of your mind, deciding on the latter.Â
Feeling a little nervous, you push your hips back into Jungkook, though slightly moving in his grip to not make it too obvious. He doesnât budge, so you try again. This time, Jungkook stirs behind you slightly, cortisol levels increasing with anxiousness.Â
You wait a few moments before you carefully press back against him for a third time, a heavy intake of breath right near your ear. You slightly freeze when you think he may awake now, but a bundle of excitement runs through your nerves.Â
When you push your ass backwards again, you feel him push himself forwardâyup, most definitely awake. Jungkookâs hand thatâs resting just below your belly button suddenly trails down the side of your thigh to rest just above your knee, his fingers facing inwards, gently rubbing at your exposed skin.Â
âJungkook,â you breathe out heavily, desire coating his name as you say it. You look back over your shoulder to find him with his eyes still closed, but heâs biting down on his lip harshly.Â
âMhm,â he mumbles, his hand now making its way back up to the inside of your thigh as you press your ass into him fully. Before he reaches where you feel yourself pooling for him, his eyes open giving you an intense stare.Â
Heâs asking for consent, his Adamâs apple bobbing as he swallows heavily. Instinctively, you open your legs slightly before saying, âTouch me, please.âÂ
He hesitates before he sits up a little behind you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder gently. Finally, his hand meets your center, your nipples hardening as you let out a sigh. Two of his fingers rub in circles delicately over the fabric of your panties, blood already rushing down to your clit as he does so.Â
You spread your legs a little more, your left hand supporting the back of your thigh as he continues to work against you. Your panties are a flimsy thong, barely covering your lips anyways but the moment he finally moves the fabric out of the way, a shutter leaves your lips.Â
âFuck,â he says, his fingers feeling at the wetness, âYouâre soaked baby,â experimentally, he dips one finger in quickly and back out to run your slick over your swelling clit.Â
âMhmm,â you mumble, âFuck I need you Jungkook,â you say honestly, your breath slightly unhinged. He moves himself a little, to get a better look over his shoulder.Â
âMove the sheets baby,â he says with a groan from the back of his throat. You do as you're told, both of you now fully able to see when he sinks his fingers into your dripping cunt.Â
âOhââ you breathe out heavily as he slowly begins to move in and out of you.Â
He rubs your g-spot inside of you a few times before he begins to curl his fingers inside you. Jungkook continues to only grow harder as he fingers youâyour hot slick inside making him too excited. A familiar yet naughty sound of your slick against his fingers begin to fill the room. Itâs visceral and hot, leaving your body wanting more.Â
With your free hand, you grab one of your breasts, stimulating your nipple through the material of his shirt.Â
âShit,â he says, âLetâs take this off,â he says and you quickly oblige as he pulls out his fingers to let your rid yourself of the fabric. Your tits bounce free and Jungkook swears he could come right then and there.Â
His fingers descend back into your cunt, this time a faster pace as he rolls you on your back some. His mouth latches over your left nipple, a content exhale coming through his nose. A hand twists into his hair as your moans continue to get louder once he begins a steady pace against your clit with his thumb. Your breathing is picking up rapidly, your back arching off the mattress as he works his way to making you come.Â
âJungkookâfuck Iâm gonna come,â you tell him through bated breath as his mouth works against your breast, your neck and earlobe, and finally meets your mouth hungrily.Â
âCome on baby,â he says into your mouth and as if on cue, your orgasm is tipped off the cliff, your face contorting as it shudders through your body.Â
âAh, ah!â Your body twitches against his as he works you through your orgasm, telling you just how good youâre doing and how pretty you look. When you finally feel like your body has given everything itâs got, you lean up to crash your lips onto Jungkookâs, whose body is still behind of you as he leans over to kiss you.Â
With your thighs now closed, you two have no space between each other, his cock straining against his sweatpants to be free. You reach behind you, pushing his pants down, unable to wait any longer.Â
âWait, wait,â he breathes heavily, his hand grabbing yours before you can fully push his sweatpants down, âAre you sure?âÂ
A strained whine leaves your lips as you nod quickly, âI need you so bad Jungkook,â you say which is all he needs to finish taking off his pants, underwear-less, his beautiful cock springing out against his tummy. Heâs bigger and thicker than you could have imagined, veiny and a pink tip the color of his lips just waiting to be sucked into you.Â
âI have condoms in the nightstand,â he says. You quickly reach over since itâs on your side, digging one out quickly. You tear the packet open with your teeth before you hand it over to him. With the little space youâre giving him, heâs rolling down the condom, a sharp intake of breath as he touches himself.Â
Youâre about to roll onto your back before he stops you, âStay on your side baby,â he instructs as he presses himself against your back again. His left hand lifts up your leg, your cunt now fully exposed to the colder air, a shiver sent down your entire body. He rubs his tip against your slit, an explicative falling from his mouth when he finally begins to push inside you.Â
He so bigâthe stretch slightly burning as he works into you. There definitely could have been more foreplay involved, but the desire for this man was too strong to wait anymore. You donât even realize that youâre holding your breath until heâs pushed at the hilt, his pelvis against your backside fully.Â
âItâs okay baby, I got you,â he manages to say as he relished in your slick warmth, âGod Iâve dreamed out this so much,â he says as he pulls out slowly before even slower pushing back in.Â
âMe too,â you breathe out truthfully as you hold his head close to your own; shit it burns, âIs it living up to your expectation?âÂ
He licks his lips with a slight chuckle, relishing in a heavy moan youâve just let escape.Â
âTurns out my imagination isnât as good as I thought,â itâs the last thing he says before he picks up his pace inside you.Â
He hooks his arm under your leg to open you up even further, looking down the front of your body to watch himself go in and out of your pussy. He fills you up to the point where itâs dizzying. Youâre still sensitive from your orgasm earlier, your mouth slack as he pumps himself with a good stroke.Â
âFuck,â he groans heavily, âYouâre so perfect baby,â his breath is hot over your neck, unable to form words yourselfâwhiney moans emitting from your lips.Â
You crane your head to look back at him, your noses brushing together before you reach up to meet your lips together. Itâs a messy kissâwet and hot as you breathe into each otherâs mouths, his tongue working against yours. With your free hand, you bring it to stimulate yourself from the outside against your clit, a shudder going through your breath.Â
âThatâs it baby, touch yourself for me,â he watches as you circle your clit, your pussy squeezing around him tightly. You already feel another orgasm approaching you, but Jungkook suddenly pulls completely out of you, leaving you breathless.Â
âJungkook?â You ask as he turns you flat on your back, his lips trailing down to your pussy, his tongue meeting your center.Â
âDidnât want to come yet,â he explains as he begins to eat you out as if its his last meal. His lip ring is cold against your sensitive skin. He open mouth licks, kisses, and sucks all on you and your clit. Your hips arches off the mattress, explicative falling out of your mouth. You taste sweet and Jungkookâs sure its the best heâs ever had.Â
As Jungkook focuses on your clit, sucking in with harsh lips you tell him youâre going to come again. Your mouth falls open when you feel yourself reach the peak of your climax again, quickly falling as you moan shamelessly loud. Youâre seeing white behind your eyelids as you grip onto the pillow at your head, biting on your lip to quiet yourself. Itâs no use given itâs one of the best orgasms youâve ever had. He continues to let your ride out your orgasm and itâs becoming too much. The over stimulation bringing on a familiar uncomfortable sensation as you tell him to quit. He obliges but is then lining himself up with your entrance again, entering in you flush all at once.Â
This time, Jungkookâs pace is fast and rough as one of his hands grip where your hip meets your torso, the other around your neck as he fights to not kiss you. As much as he loves your lips, he loves the noises coming out of them and wants you to be as loud as you can be.Â
âJungkook I canât,â everything is sensitive, a pleasurable pain pulsing through you as he slams against you relentlessly.Â
âYes you can baby, come on,â heâs whining too as this point, âFuck Iâm gonna cum,â he says it like a warning, but you want nothing more for him to do just that.Â
âYes, yes, yes,â whispered chants leave your lips, Jungkookâs own moans mixing with yours loudly before he releases the pressure off your neck, lips crashing down on your own. Someway, somehow, you come a third time as his pelvic bone grinds into you, a muffled scream into his mouth as you do so.Â
This is what sends Jungkook over the edge, his hips slamming into yours harshly as he comes into the condom, a strangled groan emitting from the back of his throat.Â
âFffuck Y/N,â he stills inside of you, both of your hearts racing and sweaty in the sheets. He collapses on top of you, your arms wrapping around him protectively as he places intimate kisses along your collarbone and chest.Â
Your whole body is aflame and as he looks up to you, his eyes full of stars. You brush his fringe from his face slowly as the two of you kiss gently in the haze of the morning. Youâre sure that Jeon Jungkook is a disguised angel fallen from heaven.Â
â€
âSit still,â Jungkook laughs as he looks up from his sketch book briefly, a lazy smile playing at his lips.Â
You laugh while biting your lip, âI am still!â You fight back as you rest your head in your hand, looking right at him longingly. He sets down his pencil for a moment, inhaling a small amount from the joint you two were currently sharing. You hadnât smoked in a long time, but when Jungkook offered after having sex, you couldnât refuse.Â
Both of you are a little high not just on the flower, but each other too. You donât know what time it is or how long both of you have been laying around at his apartment since youâve been awake. On his bed, heâs sitting criss-crossed apple sauce across from you as you lay on your side as his model. He begged to sketch you for nearly 20 minutes before you finally agreed.Â
You take another hit from the joint, âHowâs it going?â You muse and he smirks slightly, chewing on his thumb nail as he continues to draw.Â
âDo you ever shut up?â He says and you flip him off deservedly so.Â
Itâs only another 10 minutes until Jungkook proclaims heâs finishedâat least for now. He says heâd add more details later when his brain was a little more clear. Though when he hands the sketch pad over to you, your eyes widen.Â
âOh wow,â you marvel, âMore details?â You ask in disbelief. Though the sketch was tad a messy, not perfect, it still looked exactly like you. Almost frighteningly so. You were wearing his shirt again, your hair fallen and messy after the sexcapades earlier. Even the details of your hands are immaculate despite how minuscule they are in the drawing.Â
âYou like it?â He asks, his eyes a little wide, tone seeking validation. You give him a hazy-eyed smile, giving him a nod of approval.Â
âIâll sketch you one day, to return the favor,â you say with a peaked brow as you hand him back the sketch book.Â
âA favor eh?â He bite his lip ring, âI had to beg you for this.âÂ
âExactlyâI always repay for charity work,â you laugh when he rolls his eyes, moving over to your frame.Â
He lays on his side mirroring you as he props his head up on one of his hands. He inhales the joint once more with his tattooed hand, offering it to you once more. You shake your head, already feeling a good enough high to enjoy yourself and not go into full panic mode.Â
âYou have so many tattoos,â you comment as your eyes trail from his hand, up his forearm into his elbow, bicep, and finally, the top of his shoulder.Â
âMhm,â he mumbles, clearing the ashtray from his bed, setting it on the floor for now.
âWhich one was your first?â You ask him; your curiosity cute to him.Â
âHmm,â he thinks about it as he brings out his arm a little to look over each one, âI think this one,â he says, referencing to the Chinese characters on the back of his elbow, âOr maybe the ones on my hand, I donât really remember,â he laughs, his memory falling short in this moment.Â
âDo they all mean something to you?âÂ
He nods immediately, his eyes finding yours again. You ask him which one is his favorite.Â
âProbably this one,â he points to the orange tiger lily on the inside of his forearm, âItâs one of the ones I drew myself.â Itâs detailed immaculately, with words blended in behind it, âItâs my birth flower,â he explains. You think he told you once his birthday was in September. Him being a Virgo makes sense to you.Â
âWhat does it say behind it?â You ask as your free hand grabs his arm to bring closer to your eyes so you can see the details better.Â
âPlease love me,â he answers after a moment of watching you slowly turn his arm to marvel at all the ink. His words make you freeze though, your heart strings tugging towards him.Â
You smile at him shyly, âIs Jeon Jungkook a romantic?âÂ
He smiles back at you fondly, âOnly when I want to be.âÂ
âMhm, sure,â you mumble, your hand finding his. His is much larger than yours, covering yours protectively.Â
âYou donât have any tattoos?â He asks. Heâs just seen you naked but his attention was exactly looking at certain places on your skin for ink.Â
You shake your head, âIâve always been too scared,â you tell him honestly with a laugh.Â
He laughs clearly amused, âItâs not as bad as you think it is.âÂ
You roll your eyes, âSays the person with an arm covered in them. Iâd trust someone who has like one or two⊠theyâre more likely to be truthful about the pain.âÂ
âWell if you ever want one, Iâll go with you just so I can say I told you so,â he suddenly moves closer to your frame. He throws an arm over your waist, pulling you to him.Â
âNever gonna happen,â thereâs a lame attempt to tuck some of his hair behind his ear. It doesnât stay, still too short.Â
âI like you in my clothes,â he comments, brushing his nose against yours. He slowly closes the gap between you two. His lips are still so soft and each time he kisses youâit feels like the first.Â
âItâs comfy,â you say once you break away from him, your nails scratching the back of his head gently. He relishes in it like a puppy, a relax smiled on his face.Â
âYou look better out of them though,â is his next comment which garners a giggle deep within you. One thing leads to the next and youâre having sex again. This time youâre on top of him, on your tummy, legs over his shouldersâand he makes you come each and every time. Youâve had many blissful moments in your life, but this has to be up with one of your most.Â
â€
Reality hits you when Jungkook drops you off at home that evening. Whatever bliss you experienced this morning and afternoon, it all feels like a dream that didnât happen. You make sure to feed Sushi his wet food as soon you get home, as well as clean his litter box for him. Your phone is what makes you the most anxious. Youâve got missed texts and calls from a few people. Taehyung obviously, Sana, Seokjin, and even your father.Â
[Taehyung Yesterday 11:13 PM] Please let me know when you get home. I love you.Â
[Taehyung 12:09 PM] Did you get home okay?
[Taehyung 7:21 AM] Y/N please call me, youâre worrying me.Â
[Taehyung 10:32 AM] Please text me when you see this. I havenât slept all night. I love you so much.Â
4 Missed Calls
Your throat constricts, feeling guilty that you didnât even have the minds to look at your phone after Jungkook picked you up. You feel sick to your stomach as you continue through your messages.Â
[Sana 8:23 AM] hey is everything okay?? taehyung texted me this morning and asked if Iâve heard from you
[Sana 8:26 AM] did you two get into a fight? are you home?
[Sana 1:15 PM] hello⊠are you alive????????
6 Missed Calls
You opt to deal with the others later, giving Sana a call back immediately. Also, just unsure of how to deal with Taehyung right now. She answers on the first ring.Â
âWhat the actual FUCK have you been up to?!â Sheâs screaming and you have to hold the phone away from you as she continues, âYou have me worried fucking sick! Why havenât you answered me or Taehyung! Are you out of your fucking mind!?â
âSana please, Iâm fine,â you say after sheâs cooled off some, âI need you to come over as soon as you can.âÂ
She hesitates, âIs everything okay?â She sounds worried, all malice gone in her tone.Â
âI donât know,â you whisper over the phone. Now that youâre going to have to face whatever mess has been created, your heart thumps and your chest is tight. She agrees, dropping whatever sheâs doing hanging up just as fast.Â
You decide to text Taehyung, knowing youâve worked him up sick.Â
[You 4:23 PM] Iâm fine. Slept a lot last night and today, ringer was off.Â
[You 4:24 PM] love you tooÂ
You add the second text without hesitation, despite a bubbling substance of guilt in your tummy. You know your relationship with Taehyung canât continue. Whatever hurt heâs caused you and what youâve done with Jungkookâitâs all down the drain. And itâs this reality that makes you break down, sliding to the floor in choked sobs.Â
Sana finds you this way, nearly hyperventilating as she hurries over to you.Â
âY/N!â She exclaims, âOh my god, itâs okay, itâs okay,â she kneels beside you, her arms throwing themselves around you tightly. You lean into her touch, trying to make sentences but nothing comes out. Just incoherent jumble as you choke out tear after tear.Â
Sana is literally the best of friends you could ever ask for. As you lay curled up on your couch, sheâs fixed you a cup of hot tea and a bowl of ramen for you two with the worksâpork belly, an egg, and green onions.Â
As she serves up your food, sheâs got the most worried look on her face and you canât blame her. You probably look horrifyingâhorrifying with an after sex glow.Â
âBabe,â she says after you begin to eat your food, âWhatâs going on? Youâre scaring the shit out of me.âÂ
You slurp a noodle, âSana,â you groan, âI think I fucked up, but also Taehyung fucked up, fucked up, and I think we broke up but thââ
âWhoa whoa,â she stops you, âBroke up? W-what do you mean?â Sheâs utterly stunned as you relay this information.Â
So itâs when you tell her. Tell her everything your life has succumbed to in the last month. From meeting Jungkookâno inspirationâTaehyung putting work before youâthe date with Jungkookâthe fucking sex dreamâto the real reason Taehyung asked to move in with youâthe kiss with Jungkook, feelings for himâJungkookâs dad being Taehyungâs main bossâeverything up until after the party.Â
âHow long has he known about the move?â Sana is angry as you tell her all this information.Â
âI donât know,â you shrug, âWe kind of blew up at each other last night and then I just leftâŠâÂ
âShit,â she mutters, âWell thatâs really fucking shitty of him to do that to you Y/N. Youâve been together too long for him not to give you a heads up about that.âÂ
You nod as you set down your bowl of food on the coffee table, âI know and like I said I think we broke up but Iâm not exactly sure and nowââ you cut yourself off, your stomach churning at the thought. She looks at your curiously as if she knows what youâre about to say will make her disappointed in you.Â
âWhat did you do?â She says slowly to brace herself.Â
âI wasnât answering my phone last night because I wasnât here.âÂ
You canât even look at her as you continue.Â
âI was with Jungkook.âÂ
Sana doesnât say anything as she lets your words process, all the puzzle pieces coming together in her head slowly but surely. She doesnât look angry or confused, but her face is emotionless which is honestly scarier to you.Â
âYou had sex with him, didnât you?â She already knows, but she wants to hear you confirm it yourself. You nod slowly, adding in not just onceâbut three separate times. She runs a hand over her temple, her brain clearly working overtime.Â
Thereâs a heavy moment of silence that falls between the two of you. You donât regret hooking up with Jungkook at allâif anything, him and his company has been the light of your life the past few weeks. You just canât help but feel whatever grey area that Taehyung created, you separated it into black and white without him. Was that fair to him?Â
âSo you had sex with Jungkook, kind of broken up with Taehyung after a fight, but not for sure⊠and you havenât talked to Taehyung since last night?âÂ
âYeahâŠâ you sigh heavily, putting your head in your hands.Â
âGod Y/N,â she mumbles, her hand running up and down your back, âWell you for sure have to talk to Taehyung sooner than later⊠you have to tell himââ
âSanaââ
âY/N youâve dated and loved this man for five yearsâhe deserves to know, even if you two truly were broken up,â sheâs harsh with her words, but you know sheâs right. âSo what do you truly feel for Jungkook?â
âWhat do you mean?â You ask. Truthfully, you hadnât put any thought into it since youâve been home.Â
âYou clearly have developed feelings for him over the last few weeks, faster than even Taehyung,â she pauses, âDo you want something out of him? Or do you think he was just there to comfort you when you needed it?âÂ
You look up from your hands, looking at her in your peripheral, âFuck Sana, I donât know,â you feel tears threatening to spill over again, âI think being with Taehyung for so long, I never thought there would be another person I could actually develop feelings for, but heâs kind and gentle, he listens to me, makes me feel heard, and heâs so much like me but that also fucking terrifies me.â
âWhy is that scary?âÂ
You lean back into your couch, meeting her gaze, âI always thought I wanted someone so different from me, different than my parents relationshipâand I found that and I love him so much,â your voice is strained, âBut Iâm not sure if different is what I actually needed.âÂ
She puts a hand on your knee for comfort, âCan I be as honest as I can with you?â Sheâs a little unsure of your reaction, but as soon as you nod she gives you a reassuring squeeze, âI know that you love Taehyung and I know that itâs been hard with his job⊠I donât think you should have slept with Jungkook so soon butâŠâ she pauses, âIâm not going to try to make excuses for you but, I get it,â her words arenât expected and your shoulders relax.
âI think someone like Jungkook was going to come into your life eventually, it just happened to be when you were with someone else⊠I think youâve always been scared to be like your parents, but youâre not trapped in a box, you have free will and youâre allowed to do as you please. I donât think you needed different either, I think youâve always just wanted someone to give you the same amount of love you give them,â her words are so true that you feel your chest constricting again.
âIâm not going to sit here and say you crossed a boundary because I donât know if you did, only you know that yourself⊠but Taehyung deserves the respect from you to let him know and you deserve someone who works in the relationship equally. I feel like this may have been unfair to Taehyung but he's also been unfair to you, for a long time now,â she adds in a breath, âI donât think you and Taehyung can be together anymore, but I also donât know if you should be with Jungkook right now either.âÂ
Sanaâs words cut through you like a freshly sharpened knife. Sheâs your best friend for a reason. Sheâs supposed to support and love you, but sheâs also supposed to hold you accountable. You donât even say anything else as you crawl over to her, both of you embracing in a tight hug.Â
âI love you,â you mumble to her, honestly coating every word.Â
âI love you more,â she responds. And you know she does.Â
â€
Itâs been almost two weeks since your shitshow of last weekend. Youâve barely interacted with anyone aside from Sana and an occasional text from your parents, asking about your final exhibition dates. You told Seokjin that you needed to work from home this week, citing a change in scenery would be stimulating. Obviously, he didnât know it really was a ploy to keep you away from Jungkook.Â
You hadnât spoken to him since sleeping with him. He reached out to you once over text, though you ignored it, needing your head clear of your demons before you faced him. As time has passed, you still donât regret hooking up with him. The only thing you feel is shame; afraid that your advances came off in bad taste, only using him as a distraction. Luckily as youâve come to learn, Jungkook is extremely good at reading people and when you didnât respond to himâhe never texted again. You obviously wanted space and he was going to respect that.Â
What you couldnât keep running away from was Taehyung. Itâs why youâre meeting him now at a park thatâs not too far from your apartment. Itâs middle of the day on a Thursday, which is surprising that Taehyung agreed to meet now when you reached out. You assumed that he would have been at work but it's when he shows up in casual jeans and a t-shirt, that he must not be.Â
Youâre sitting on a park bench, dressed casually in a sweatshirt and sweat-shorts anxiously waiting for him to show face. When he comes around to sit down, he startles you slightly, but his presence brings a comfortable warmth.Â
âH-hi,â you say nervously, turning your frame to him. He didnât look goodâhis eyes baggy and dry, lips a little chapped, and his hair a little messy.Â
âHey,â is what he chooses, his own tone sounded a little off. Thereâs an awkward space between you two on the bench.Â
âHow have you been?â You ask, your eyes kind of darting any and everywhere, unable to hold his gaze for too long.Â
His lip trembles as he sighs heavily, âNot the best,â he says honestly. You nod slowly, agreeing with him.Â
Somedays youâre fine. You go through your day and normal routine of spin classes and painting, cuddling Sushi, and going to bed early. Other days have been horribleâup late unable to sleep due to stress and crying, no productivity in sight. While you and Taehyung have texted over these last couple weeks checking in on each other, being in front of him right now feels like thereâs a spotlight on you and youâre scared to fuck up. You havenât been ready to talk until now, but now youâre here and going mute.Â
âListen Y/Nââ
âTaeââ
You speak at the same time to which you both smile at each other.Â
âYou go first,â you offer, still feeling like you may chicken out of what you actually need to say to him.Â
He nods once, biting on his lip nervously, âY/N Iâve been thinking the last couple weeks and um,â he pauses taking in a deep breath, âI realize I fucked up so bad. I thought about what you said and youâre right, I should have never assumed that you would have been okay with moving and never talking about it with you firstâŠâÂ
As his voice slightly weakens as he continues to talk, it only breaks your heart even more. You have to tell yourself not to cry.Â
âIâve been pretty shitty to you at times and I always thought if I could give you nice things, take you out to nice dinners.. that it would somehow make up for the time weâve lost over the years, but now I see thatâs not what you needed at all.âÂ
You now have tears streaming down your cheeksâgod, if only he recognized this sooner, maybe this wouldnât have fallen apart the way it did.Â
âI just love you so much and I get it if you donât want to be with me anymore,â you watch a tear fall from his cheek, âBut I just want you to know that I never intended on hiding anything from you and Iâm sorry that I did. It was never my intention to hurt you and put you in a hard position, I justâfuck,â he stops, tugging on the roots of his hair. âIâm fucking sorry for everything Y/N, I just canât move on and make this move if you hate me for the rest of your life.âÂ
Your face falls and you chest feels like itâs cracked open. You quickly close the space between you two, placing a hand gently on his face so he would look you in the eyes.Â
âTaehyung I could never, ever hate you,â you tell him truthfully, âI have loved you for so long and I donât think Iâll stop anytime soonâŠâÂ
He nods in your hands, relishing in your gently grip. He doesnât say anything else, so you take it as your time.Â
âI did and still do feel hurt about you keeping this from me,â you pause, dropping your hands, âI know that this had to have been a hard decision but the fact you left me out of it isnât okay and Iâm glad you recognize that⊠and youâre right, I never cared about the jewelry and the dinners and the flowers and wine, all I ever wanted was just you and me, against the world,â he chokes out a deep sob at your words, breaking your heart all over again.Â
âI just, I truly canât leave behind what Iâve worked for and the goals I want to accomplish here,â you shake your head, âItâs just not fair to me, but that doesnât mean I will ever hate you or stop loving you.âÂ
He nods slowly as he takes in all of your information, his breath shakes as he breathes out.Â
âTaehyung,â you brace yourself, âThereâs something else I need to tell you.âÂ
He looks at you with a panicked expression as he mutters a hm?Â
âI lied to you too about something,â your cadence is slow as you look down, picking at a loose piece of skin on your thumb, âI didnât go home when I left your place after our fight.â
His eyebrows deeply furrow and you can see his brain working in overtime. Taehyungâs a smart man and it doesnât take him long to piece together what youâre saying.Â
âYou went to his place, didnât you? Jungkook? Seokjinâs student?â His jaw slightly clenches as he says it. You nod to confirm, feeling uncomfortable with how he's framed his words. âJesus fucking Christ Y/N,â he suddenly stands up from the bench, another stressed pull of his hair, âWe get into one fight and you run off to fuck someone who is basically your student?âÂ
âWhat?â You fight back, âNoâno,â you rush out, though your heart sinks given youâre lying at this very second while trying to tell the truth. âTaehyung no, heâs just a friend I swear.âÂ
He turns back to you, eyes narrowing at you, âCan you look me in the eyes and tell me nothing happened with your fucking friend then? Is that why you lied to his father about knowing who he was?âÂ
You stare at him with your lips slightly parted, your heart thumping deep within your chest, âWe kissed,â you whisper, wincing at your words internally.
âIs that it?â He asks with a tone thatâs a mix of anger and desperation.Â
Thereâs a lump in your throat and you realize that you truly are a coward and canât tell him with words, so you do what a coward would do and shake your head. An entire new wave of shame enters your body now that youâre sat in front of Taehyung. His face falls, the line officially crossed. Thereâs no going back in this relationship. His jaw is unsteady as he fights whatever emotions are brewing inside him.Â
âI need to go,â he says looking around the empty park. He loves you, he really doesâbut right now he canât look at you. Your fight may have unofficially ended things between you two, but the fact you ran to Jungkook for comfort is what breaks his heart. What did Jungkook have, that Taehyung didnât?
âTaehyung,â you stand up trying to stop him from walking away, âPlease can weââ
âNo Y/N,â he says, springing away from your grip that you had on his shirt, âWe canât.âÂ
Itâs the last thing he says as he walks away. Itâs feels almost a little too poetic. Not only is he leaving this city, but heâs leaving you here in it. Alone and heartbroken. Almost like how it was going to end up the entire time.Â
â€
Itâs another week until you make it back into the studio in person. Youâve camped away in your apartment with Sushi for long enoughâSana, Seokjin, and others worried about you and your absence. Youâve had a lot of time to reflect as you been alone. Youâve been able to gather your thoughts and understand your rights versus wrongs.Â
You havenât seen or spoken to Taehyung since the other week ago in the park. Youâve attempted to call him a couple times to see if any peace can be amended, but to no avail. Itâs been a weird transition for youâgoing from having everything in your life in order to everything blowing up in front of you so fast. Of course youâre sad, angry, frustrated, annoyed, and more. Your emotions were all over the place the last couple weeks. You had yet to feel closure with Taehyung which was killing you on the inside. You just hoped that he would eventually come around before he moved. You had no idea when he was leavingâbut you needed to see him one last time before he goes.Â
Youâve also been reflecting on the common denominator of the blow up of your life in the last two months. Jeon Jungkook.Â
Jungkook came into your life full speed unafraid to crash into the brick wall in front of him. You know that you let your feelings for him get out of control but you also knew that wasnât exactly something you could control. Consistently, he was just always there when you seemingly needed company. He says the right things, understands you, hears and listens to you. Youâve never had a connection with someone like that so quickly. However, heâs disappeared from your life almost as fast as he came in it. He checked in on your one more time after the first time, only this time you ended up responding, telling him that you were okay and just working from home. You werenât fine, but the latter was true.Â
Which is why youâre shocked when you come in on Tuesday morning to find him sitting on the floor outside your studio. You look around and listen in carefullyâSeokjin isnât even here yet and you came in early on purpose. Itâs been your routine to avoid peopleâmainly Jungkook himself. You come in around 7 AM and leave by 3 PM, sneaking out before anyone would notice you were here.Â
âJ-Jungkook?â You ask, unable to believe that heâs here at this time.Â
He looks up from his phone looking a little startled. He stands quickly, brushing his hands off on his sweatpants.Â
âWhat are you doing here so early?â You ask, keeping a distance between you two. You feel a little insecure in your paint-stained denim shorts and white t-shirt that you actually slept in last night.Â
He opens his mouth quickly, âI just,â he pauses closing his eyes for a moment, âI just wanted to see to you. I missed you," he admits a little shyly.
Your hands go clammy, heart quickening, but youâre nodding, silently agreeing with him. He steps aside to let you unlock your studio space, the sun already bright shining in. He follows in behind you, closing the door for privacy. You set down your bag on the small couch, watching him intently as he looks around. If thereâs been one positive about your absence, itâs been how much work youâve got done.Â
Youâve finished approximately seven paintings in three weeks, an eight almost finished, which means youâll finish just in time for the final exhibition next weekend. As much as you love apprenticeship life, you were more than ready for something new.Â
âWhat do you think?â You approach Jungkook from behind as he stares at the finished paintings along the wall youâve been hanging up to dry completely.Â
âTheyâre exquisite,â he says with his mouth slightly agape, âA little sad,â he adds.
Heâs staring at Drowning for the Sake of Drowning and Forwardâa black and white charcoal piece of a female figure, hunched over with her face away, clearly distressed about something. You named in Forward in hopes that you can soon move past the stage of hiding and crying away alone. You donât even realize Jungkookâs looking at you as you stare at the piece a little too long.Â
âIâve been worried about you.âÂ
You look at him when he breaks the silence, his eyes indeed looking confused, anxious, a little sad.Â
âI know,â you say weakly. He turns around to face you, opening his mouth to speak but you cut him off in a rushââIâm so sorry Jungkook.âÂ
He looks taken aback, his brows furrowing in confusion, âF-for what?âÂ
Youâre confused as to why heâs confused, âI..â You pause licking your lips since theyâre dry from you picking at them nervously, âFor one Iâm sorry for not being responsive. I'm sorry for dragging you into my mess. I came to you when I needed comfort but I feel like it came across that I was taking advantage of you in those momentsâI donât want you think that I was just trying to sleep with to make me feel betterââ
âIs that what you think?â He cuts you off, stepping towards you.Â
You donât move, your feet frozen in place, âWell.. yeah?â You pause, âI donât know I just didnât know how to talk to you after what happened and with Taehyung I justââ
âHey, hey,â he steps forward again, his hands grabbing the side of your face. God, his presence and touch were so comforting, âYou donât have to explain anything to me,â his voice is low and steady, âIâve been so worried that something happened to you and I wanted to help but I knew that you wanted space. And for fucksakes, donât ever say sorry for something like that Y/N,â he breathes out heavily and you almost feel tears spring in the corner of your eyes. You grab onto his wrists to steady yourself.Â
âJungkook I just feel like my whole life has been a shitshow the past couple months and I donât know how to fix it,â your voice falls off, unsteady and unconfident.Â
He shakes his head slightly, âY/N you donât have to âfixâ anything,â he says, âLife isnât linear, we all have shitty times and we all have good times,â he pauses, âWhatâs important is how you deal with those things⊠shutting yourself off isnât a way to deal with it,â his words almost have a humorous tone and you canât help but chuckle to yourself. He looks at you confused again before asking what?
âYou just always know what to say. It's annoying.âÂ
He laughs to himself, his hands moving away from your face to pull you into a hug. You return it happily, forgetting how nice his body feels against yours.Â
âThank you,â you mumble to him.Â
âAnything for you, Y/N.âÂ
â€
Your heels clank against the hardwood, feeling like it sounds similar to bricks being thrown into a dumpster as you feel extra sensitive to noises today. Youâve just entered the art exhibition that resides in a large gallery building downtown closer to the city. All the art has been transported over the last few days from all different departments. From Seokjinâs, to Park Kihyunâs, sculptors to oil-based paintings, to everything in between.Â
You had yet to find where they displayed your artwork, going through the gallery slowly by yourself taking in everyoneâs work one at a time. Again, your steps are heavy, anxiety rushing through your veins. This was always one of the worst parts of being an artistsâdisplaying your pieces for everyone to critique and pick apart. Unlike the studentâs art that was being displayed, you werenât getting a grade but you still felt tremendous pressure for people to like your work. Art was all about getting people to like what you put out, which was much easier said than done.Â
You run into your usual lunch crew; Lisa, Jisoo, and Yugyeomâsans Jungkook. You wondered where he was.Â
âY/N,â Lisa gives you a quick hug, âWhen did you get here?âÂ
âLike, ten minutes ago,â you tell her.Â
âHave you seen your pieces?â She says quickly, almost too quickly.Â
âNo, why?â You respond in panic, âDid something happen to them?âÂ
Jisoo then laughs, âNothing happened⊠theyâre amazing. There was some man who was asking around for you, seemed to be important.âÂ
Your shoulders relax at the word of nothing bad happening to your pieces, but more anxiety creeping into your skin about the latter information. You let them know youâll go check everything out soon, still wishing to look around before you found your own. You had looked at them enough the last few weeksâyou needed a change of scenery.Â
You walk into a smaller room where a particular name catches your eye. Jungkookâs artwork is in display with Yugyeom's. You wonder if they asked for that on purpose, a smile growing on your face as you stare at his work.Â
Jungkookâs art works similar to yoursâclean lines, realistic, the only difference is he utilizes a lot more color than you ever would. It matches him well thoughâheâs vibrant and commands attention in any room he walks into. One piece in particular catches your eyeâGrapejuice Blues.Â
Itâs white sheetsâsimilar to the ones on his bedâand a large, dark rouge staining them as a wine glass lays in the background. Itâs almost painfully simple but it could easily be mistaken for a photograph. The familiar stir in your tummy occurs and you have to fight a smile.Â
When you leave the alcove where Jungkookâs works reside, you decide to make it your mission to find your work. It doesnât take you much longer, though you stop dead in your tracks when you do. Is this who Jisoo was talking about?Â
Youâd recognize his frame and head of hair through a crowd of hundreds. But there isnât a crowd of hundreds and itâs definitely himâhis tailored pants and dress shirt gives it away. Heâs also holding what looks like a bundle of flowers. Your heart swells as you approach him.Â
âTaehyung?â You ask. He turns around immediately, his warm eyes meeting yours, âWhat are you doing here?âÂ
He smiles slightly, looking down awkwardly at the flowers in his arms. He hands them over to you, âItâs been in my Google calendar for months, I didnât want to miss it.âÂ
You heart thumps, but youâre a little confused, âArenât you mad at me?âÂ
He laughs, pulling you into a hug. You gladly return it, not caring if the flowers between you are squished a little.Â
âThank you for coming,â you tell him genuinely. It feels good to see him.Â
âOf course,â his voice is deep as you pull away from him, âI was hoping I could run into you so I could give you this,â out of his pant pocket, he pulls out a folded up piece of paper. Your brows furrow as he holds it out for you to grab.Â
âWhatâs this?â You ask him, taking it hesitantly. You start to unfold it before he stops you.Â
âDonât read it hereâthatâs my only request,â he laughs, his boxy smile peaking through a little bit. âListen I have to run into the office this evening so I gotta go, but Iâm glad I could see your work. Itâs beautiful.âÂ
âWait Taehyung,â you speak quickly, âIâm confusedâwhen are you moving? We should talkâŠâÂ
He gives you a straight smile and you can tell heâs holding himself together for public. You are too.Â
âEverythingâs in there. We can talk soon,â he whispers, leaning down to kiss your cheek delicately, âIâll love you forever.âÂ
He gets lost in the crowd as he walks away from you and whatever type of note heâs written you feels a thousand pounds in your hand. Your feet are about to pick you up to leave, giving it feels like you're heart was a glass castle and it was completely shattered. You suddenly felt all too claustrophobic surrounded by the art and people.Â
You turn on your heel but this time you nearly run smack dab into someone. Itâs a man who is dressed nicely but also has a touch of that specific art touch to him.Â
âAre you Miss Y/N?â He says as you take a step back from him. Youâre staring up at this random man, unable to find your voice.Â
âUh,â you pause, âY-yeah, w-who are you?â Your throat is dry. You need to get out of here.Â
âIâm Min Yoongi,â he speaks confidently, âIâm an art curator at a contemporary gallery in Gangnam, I was hoping to get your information to set up an interview. I was recommended to take a look at your work, but obviously I needed to see before I jumped to any type of deal. But I think your pieces are superb and I think I have some clients who would be interested in your work.âÂ
Your eyes widen, your breath taken away from you. And there it is againâlife not being fucking linear. Two seconds again you felt on the verge of a panic attack, paper heavy in your hand and now youâve forgotten about any of that as you speak to this Min Yoongi.Â
Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook was observing the interaction from a distance, out of sight from either one of you. You look angelic in the white dress on your frame; itâs short, fitted in all the right places with an off the shoulder bodice. While Jungkook necessarily didnât fit into the mold of his family, he was lucky to be apart of the Jeon family name. His father had connections everywhere. Jungkook wanted to help you as much as he could since he knew that if any apprentice here deserved an art career, it was you.Â
Jungkook is currently staring at the final piece you had finished last week, a small smile growing on his face as he takes it in. Itâs an odd, more abstract piece from you. The use of color was what really struck Jungkook as different for you. Itâs a human heart shaped out of orange tiger lilies. Given his dress shirt was rolled up on his forearms, he looks down at his own tiger lily tattoo and he swears his heart leaps from his chest. He couldnât put a label on what the relationship with you was, but he knew that you were special to him.Â
When he glances back to where you stood with Min Yoongi, youâre gone. His eyebrows furrow, taking once last glance at your pieces before his feet carry him to find you.Â
Youâve found solace outside, the warm air comforting on your exposed arms and legs. The flowers he gave you are beside you on the ledge you jumped up on to sit. Your hands shake as you read through Taehyungâs letter; fighting tears, smiling, and laughing through it all.Â
It takes Jungkook about 10 minutes to find you and when he does, he can tell youâre upset. He hesitates going up to you, but you look like you needed a hug. You donât even notice Jungkook approach you as youâre sat with your head in your hands, the letter read and laying on the other side of you. Youâre not cryingâthank godâbut youâre feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions running through your veins right now.Â
You're excited about the prospect of working for a gallery, wondering who exactly recommended Min Yoongi to come to the exhibit and look at your pieces. You're sad at the fact yours and Taehyung's relationship has come to its finality. It's weird having such contrasting emotions going through you, each one fighting for your attention.
When you see a pair of black dress shoes appear in your vision, you slowly look up to find Jungkook looking at you longingly, his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. He takes your breath away in his black dress shirt and checkered cigarette pants.Â
âHey,â he says simply. You donât even think as you pull him by his arm into a bear hug as he settles between your legs. He laughs as you do so, hugging you back tightly, resting his head on your exposed shoulder, âYou okay?âÂ
You shake your head, âYes,â you say but then, âNoâyes, I donât know,â you groan into him, inhaling his scent. Your hands meet behind him around his waist as you squeeze him tightly.Â
Taehyungâs not mad at you.Â
Taehyung loves you. And he always will.Â
He says he hasnât reached a place of full forgiveness yet.Â
But he knows that you have a right to be mad at him.Â
Heâs moving at the end of summer.Â
He wants you to reach out with anything you need.Â
He acknowledges that you two have grown into differences over the last five years.Â
But he will always love you and heâs grateful for you.Â
You know youâll always love him too.Â
You pull away from Jungkook slightly, thankful for his presence right now. Heâs the best drug you've ever triedâwarm and comfortingâaddicting and easy to get lost into.Â
âYour work is beautiful Jungkook,â you tell him honestly, trying to get your mind off of the things bothering you. Today was a happy day.Â
âNot as beautiful as you,â he responds slyly with a nose scrunch and you pinch his butt, âQuit it,â he laughs, pulling you off the ledge youâre sat on.Â
âWhat are you doing?â You whine as he pulls you to him, his hands resting on your waist.Â
âWe're gonna dance,â he says simply as he pulls you flush against him.Â
âWhy?â You laugh as he begins to sway, your hands finding their way around his neck.Â
âTo make you feel better.â
âHow do you know I donât feel good?â You fight back.Â
âBecause I know you,â he pauses, âAnd I know what you look like when youâre happy and when youâre sad.âÂ
You feel your face get hot, a small smile growing on your face, âWell then what else do you know about me?âÂ
âHmm,â he muses, âI know what you sound like when you like something,â he raises an eyebrow at you as you two continue to sway with no music or anything. You roll your eyes, a laugh emitting from you. âThere it is,â he pinches your side as you swat away his hand with another laugh. He loves your laugh.Â
âStop it,â you tell him, stepping away from him some, your hands interlaced with his in between your bodies.Â
âFeel better?âÂ
You shrug, âA little,â you say, studying his face. His expression doesnât seem satisfied so you say as he scrunches his nose, âYes, I do. God youâre so impossible.âÂ
He chuckles back at you, kissing your knuckles sweetly, âWhat are friends for?âÂ
âYouâre really running this âfriendâ thing into the ground arenât you?âÂ
He freezes for a moment, chewing on his lip ring, âOnly until youâre ready.âÂ
You mirror him as he readjusts your hands in his, âReady for what?âÂ
He studies your face intently, a small smile growing across his features, "You know."
You think you know exactly what he means. You tell him you do and he smiles in content, placing a kiss on your forehead through his smile. If there's one thing you're for sure about, it's that Jeon Jungkook is indeed, very special to you too.Â
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