#suuper personal rant incoming skip it if you don't care obv just a warning
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#suuper personal rant incoming skip it if you don't care obv just a warning#so i might legit just be a trans guy. or nonbinary or idkidkidkidk.#the thing is 1. i hate talking about my feelings irl 2. i hate talking about my sexuality irl 3. i hate people paying attention to me irl#also 4. i have this disorder called Everybody Has To Like Me Or I Kill Myself#and like. none of those are compatible with transitioning. which idk if i even wanna do that? also not compatible with just telling people#there's a huge part of me that thinks i'm just doing this for attention. or because i just don't like my body in a non-gender way#and idk what to do with that. once u say it u can't unsay it u know#and i don't think my main friend group would Get It. i've told them time and time again that i don't like it when they call us 'the girls'#and that they should please just call me by my nickname never my full name. and they never remember#i think my best friend would get it but lives far away and is currently on holiday anyway#i've had this realisation so often and i think i'll just repress it again. until the next trans roman fic/tumblr post double whammy shows up#repression let's hear it for repression everyone!!
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