#t/e/r/f/s eat my toenail clippings this post is not for you

[wormworker]

anger and rage and all that

(Image description: 2 screenshots from an episode of Ren and Stimpy: Adult Party Cartoon "Ren Seeks Help," where Mr. Horse is placing his hoof on Ren's knee. Ren looks uncomfortable in the first image, and the second one shows his eyes bulging out of his head in the direction of Mr. Horse's hoof. Text on the image says "Men: If you wouldn't put your hand on another man's knee when comforting him, stop doing it to women. Try it again I fukn dare you to give me a reason to remove your teeth." There's also a superimposed image on the whole thing from the canon Ren and Stimpy episode "Man's Best Friend," where Ren is wielding a giant oar and has a murderous look on his face.)

[lalka-laski]

A - Appearance.

What are you wearing? A sweatshirt with my company's logo & a pair of jeggings

What are on your feet right now? Slip-on sneak type of things? I abandoned my usual flip-flops today because my feet are a tragedy

What color are your fingernails? Like my toenails, my fingernails are also a tragedy! I haven't had room in my budget for a mani pedi in awhile :/

What does your hair look like right now? It's clipped up, but it's clean and therefore, the best my hair has looked this week

B - Best Friend

Who is your best friend? I have several but for the sake of this survey I'll say Sean

What was the last thing you two did together? Sadly it was a post-funeral service for his grandmother. But it was a fun, lighthearted celebration of her life. I adore his family and it's always great to spend time with them, even if the circumstances are dismal.

What is (s)he doing right now? Man, this guy is ALL over the map. I can't keep tabs on him! He could be in Bora Bora right now and I wouldn't question it.

Are you talking to her/him online right now? Nope, but we keep in pretty regular contact.

C - Crush.

Who is (s)he? He's a little more than a crush! He's my fiance

What does (s)he look like? The cutest pumpkin pie in the WORLD (he finds that nickname emasculating?? Can't imagine why...) What was the last thing you two talked about? We're texting right now about what Starbucks drinks we're gonna get later!

Does (s)he make you smile? More than anyone or anything on the planet

D - Dad

What’s your dad’s name? Richard

What does he do for a living? He's an electrician. Although these days he's more of an executive (I don't know his actual title). So he oversees lots of electricians and various projects, but doesn't do as much as the hands-on work. I'm so proud of him for working his way up the ladder but it's still so funny to me to picture my blue-collar, borderline redneck dad, working in an OFFICE.

What was the last thing you two did together? We got ice cream (Glenn & my mom were also present)

Do you get along better with him than your mother? My mom and I have more in common and therefor do more friendly/social stuff together. But I get along with each of them equally well. Especially as an adult.

E - Ebay.

Have you ever bought anything from ebay? Yep I have a few pairs of reading glasses on the way actually

Do you just shop around when you’re online? Kinda but I'm trying to kick the habit

Do you know anybody who is addicted to it? You could argue I am...

Have you ever sold anything on it? Nope

F - Facebook.

When was the last time you logged on? I'm on currently

How many friends do you have? Over 1,000

Do you hate when your facebook chat messes up? It doesn't happen much tbh

Who was the last person to leave you a wall post? I just had a birthday so it could've been anybody

G - Google.

Do you Google everything? I might rely TOO much on Google!

What was the last thing you Googled? Stretches for my calves

Would you ever trade Google in for Bing? Nah

What do you Google the most? "Is it safe to eat expired ______?"

H - Hair.

Do you like your hair? It's kind of my enemy. I spent years destroying it with box dye but even regardless of that, it's limp and stringy in texture. I long for thick, luscious locks!

What color is your hair? Blonde

What does it look like right now? Clipped up in a claw clip

What kind of shampoo for you use? Biolage

I - Ibuprofen

When was the last time you took ibuprofen? Few days ago for a headache prob Do you rely on it for everything (cramps, headache)? I don't take it much, no

Are you so thankful people made it? I mean yeah?

Do you have any right now? We have a few bottles upstairs at the nurse's station

J - Jobs.

Do you need a job? I have one. I need a better PAYING job though...

Where do you work? A fertility clinic

Where would you work? If I could choose anywhere? I'd be a regular columnist for a website, magazine, blog etc.

How much money would you like to get paid? Sadly, I'd be ok with even $15/hour at this point. Ideally $20.... but that will never happen at this job.

K - Kissing.

Who was the last person you kissed? Glenn

Will you next kiss be a mistake? This is a weirdly common question in surveys. But no, it certainly won't.

Do you kiss someone everyday? Mhm

Who was your first kiss? Steven was his name

L - Love.

Who do you love the most in your life? My family, Glenn, my friends, my babies

Have you ever been in love before? I am right now

Does it make you so happy when you feel the feeling of love? Oh it's like SPARKLING, magical feeling throughout my whole body. Electric, even.

Why is this word so hard to describe? Probably because it's such a spiritual, almost otherworldly feeling. While there are a lot of physical sensations that accompany it, love itself is magical. And how do you define that in human language??

M - Mom.

What is your mom’s name? Julie

What is she doing right now? Ugh. The lucky duck is currently in Canada with my godmother having the time of her life. I'm so jealous but happy for her!

Where does she work? She's a retired schoolteacher

Do you two shop together a lot? Oh very often!

N - Netflix.

Do you have Netflix? Mhm but I don't watch it much

If not, what movies would you order?

Do you rent a lot of movies? Nah

Do you have the tool where it just downloads to your tv? Uh what? I have a Smart TV so I don't need any additional tools really?

O - Ohio.

Is this the state in which you live in? No lol

Is Ohio State your favorite football team? I don’t have a favorite Did you know Ohio Is For Lovers? Mhm

Have you ever been to Ohio? Nope

Q - Quitting.

What was the last thing you quit doing? It's hard to say 'cause I quit so many things. I can't decide if this is a bad habit or not? On one hand, I should exhibit some more perseverance. On the other hand, I think it's good that I recognize when something is no longer serving me.

Do you need to quit talking to someone right now? Nah. Everyone in my life is meant to be here.

Would you ever quit school? Well I'm done with school so no.

Don’t you think quitting is stupid? Nope. Again, I think it's good to acknowledge that something isn't doing you any favors. I don't think there's necessarily dignity in keeping yourself in a situation that doesn't serve you. Wish more people had that mentality. Just 'cause you start something doesn't mean you have to finish it.

R - Reading.

What was the last book you read? I'm in the middle of a riveting book called The Opposite of Everyone. My MIL has been lending me some really great mysteries lately. She's turning me on to the genre!

Do you own a lot of books? Our living room is overflowing with them and we actually are planning to buy a third bookshelf soon

Do you have a library card? Actually no but I want to get one for the library in the town I now live in

Have you ever read a book that changed your life? They all do, really.

S - Safety.

Do you always wear your seat belt? Ha. I often don't when I'm in the backseat because I don't find it necessary and my mom always barks back "THAT'S WHAT PRINCESS DIANA THOUGHT TOO"

When riding a four-wheeler do you wear a helmet? I've only ridden one a couple times and I can't remember if I wore a helmet

Did you ever wear knee pads and a helmet when riding your bike? Mhm Do you always think safety first? Eh, no. I'm kinda reckless if I'm honest.

T - Talk

Who was the last person you talked to? I'm messaging with Glenn right now Who are you talking to right now? ^^

Who did you last talk to before you went to bed last night? Also Glenn

Do you need to talk to anybody right now? I'm good

U - US ARMY

Do you support it? What a question... not really one I feel like getting tangled in right now. Thanks!

Do you know anybody who is in the army right now? Actually yes

Don’t you ever wonder why their camo doesn’t match anything? No?

Would you ever go to the army? HA HA HA HA HA

V - Virgin.

Are you a virgin? No, but virginity is a construct anyways.

When did you lose your virginity? I was 17 when I first had vaginal intercourse if that's what you're asking

Do you wish you would’ve waited? Nah, it all happened at the right time and led me to the right places. (Took awhile, but it did)

Do you think you could have stayed a virgin until marriage? No, that's not for me.

W - What.

What are you doing right now besides this survey? Messaging Glenn, texting a groupchat, and drinking coffee

What are you craving? Kind of everything since I'm fasting right now. So ALL food sounds appealing

What do you need to buy? NOTHING at the moment. I'm on a spending freeze for a little while.

Why are you taking my survey? Because I'm bored at work

X -Xanax

Do you know anybody who is addicted to Xanax? Maybe...

Have you ever taken it before? Nope

Do you even know what it is? Yes

Have you ever suffered from anxiety or depression? I do & I currently take Lexapro (I have lukewarm feelings about its effectiveness for me)

Y - Yourself.

Name. Elizabeth

Age. 29 (gag)

Do you smile a lot? Very often, even when I don't want to

Z - Zebra.

Are you addicted to zebra striped? No

Do you own anything zebra striped? Also no Is anything on any of your websites zebra striped? Lol no