#take that scene in sophie's bedroom: when shiv says that cruel thing to roman she understands what shes saying to him; she takes what she

[zaricats]

I'm interested, what do you think of Roman and Kendall's relationship overall? I feel like they were close when they were little but got driven apart when Roman's psychological issues got him sent to military school and Logan covertly encouraged him to blame Kendall for making him turn out weird (mainly to take any responsibility off of himself). I don't believe Kendall was aware of anyone other than Logan hurting Roman or that Kendall abused Roman himself, but... it's complicated.

!! i don't think roman and kendall were ever very close, actually - i think they've always been pretty distant

this got away from me in the extreme so im going to put this under a cut (i'm so sorry)

the dog cage story in the episode with tom's bachelor party i think is indicative of two things: how siblinghood in the roy house functioned, and how kendall (as well as connor) react to guilt/abuse.

connor says, when roman asks him if he really did enjoy being put in a dog kennel, that they all had a hierarchy to learn and that once they learned it, they would be happier. we're meant to take this as a sort of metaphor: in childhood, the siblings were likely pitted against each other (by logan) to be the 'stronger dog'. roman was the 'weaker dog' because he was the one stuck in the cage - kendall was stronger because he put him in there. kendall rationalizes it by the idea that roman somehow belongs in this position, wants to be there and is happier for it, so that kendall can feel better about participating and winning.

i don't necessarily blame kendall for participating (he was also a child), but that sort of competition and play would likely prevent any sort of close relationship. roman was four - that would be an extremely early memory for him. logan likely intended to prevent any close bonds anyway, because in order to have control over someone, you have to be the most important person in their life. a close relationship with a sibling could ruin that; it could be a threat to you, even.

the dog cage story is also extremely tied up with roman's "sexual perversity", and is also, imo, extremely indicative of csa (bed-wetting, 'you enjoyed it', etc). kendall doesn't really remember the story at all, at first, and his next reaction is to get defensive. he insists it wasn't that bad, and that roman wanted it. i agree with the idea that kendall wouldn't have known if someone other than logan was hurting roman, but that sort of denial and avoidance still wouldn't (and doesn't) play very well with roman. it hurts when your suffering goes unnoticed and/or unprevented.

even if roman isn't a victim of csa (i don't think anything fits better, but i digress), it's very possible kendall exhibited this sort of avoidance/denial in regards to just logan's physical abuse. i know he defends roman at argestes, but that doesn't necessarily indicate anything about their childhood (for example, logan's already snapped at iverson at this point - this would have changed kendall in a fundamental way).

i do think roman was close with shiv as children - they seem closer in age, and they have a rapport/banter/cadence with each other that neither have with kendall. this could be because kendall just isn't good at that sort of banter, but i think we're meant to read a special sort of closeness out of it. it's a mean sort of affection only roman and shiv have.

shiv also isn't competition in the way kendall is. her distance from waystar in the beginning of the show is non-threatening, and i think her position as a woman also prevents her from intimidating roman in any sort of significant way (this goes for kendall as well). even still, once shiv exposes logan's offer to make her CEO, roman's relationship with her becomes a lot more aggressive. their teasing becomes acidic and cruel - the way they poke at each other about sex (shiv having too much, roman having none at all) grows exponentially in both amount and cruelty. i think this is where roman and kendall have been their whole lives.

i think theres a lot to be seen in the way roman wrestles with both shiv and kendall as well. with shiv, roman wrestles just to wrestle - its very reminiscent of two kids getting into a scuffle because its fun and they need to get the energy out somehow. when they wrestle in the hospital, its almost cathartic; its a strange way to process logan's sudden and eminent mortality.

with kendall, wrestling is a competition - its a genuine fight. think of the hunting retreat: kendall is trying to take something away from roman, kendall is trying to get roman in trouble, kendall is trying to put roman down so he can get a leg up with logan. again, their relationship is about competition.

i do think something changes after roman gets back from turkey - he starts showing real concern for Kendall, makes attempts to get closer with him (and shiv) by suggesting they talk seriously, etc. i think this is a new thing, however - i don't think they're going back to something they once had. it feels new and awkward - i think they've always been dogs at each other's throats.