#tamasina beansun

[devilishdewitt]

“Ladies of Burlesque”, March 2019.

~The Eternal Disclaimer~

It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.

Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.

Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.

However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.

 All is sickly without self-irony.

Without further ado, onto our beautiful first show!

“Ladies of Burlesque” is the creation of Anja Pavlova, a shining star on the Berlin scene who descends into Moscow in attempt to elevate the world of Russian Burlesque.

The Venue

Quite splendid. Conveniently located minutes away from Taganskaya metro station, Dorfman karaoke drowns in luxury (it is painfully evident in the ludicrous lavatories). An atmosphere of glamour is immediately created - the view is good from all seats, the stage is well-located, the lights are a bit mad, but tolerable.

It is absurd for a Muscovite to complain about the price of anything, but the money demanded for the simplest things is aggressively silly.

The Wait

The producer of the show, who chose the somewhat childish moniker Konfetki, was at the door, checking the lists and being wonderful. She is delightful, but good God, please dress her better. The ensemble she chose did not fit the venue nor the atmosphere. She is gorgeous - let her outfit be gorgeous, too!

The magnificent lady selling pasties was exactly that - magnificent.

 I wish there was a lady like that everywhere I went.

The Performers

Anja Pavlova is undoubtedly a ray of jazzy 20’s sunshine. “This is the show of my dreams”, she announces, and you can tell it’s true - she is simply glowing. She clearly knows what she’s doing and she loves it completely. However, at times her beaming adoration for the performers seemed over the top - especially when her words were far from the truth.

When one thinks of a chorus line, the mind is immediately alight with synchronised wonders, radiant smiles & fascinating costumes. That is how Anja introduced the Ladies of Burlesque Chorus Line.

But oh boy, it was a spectacle for all the wrong reasons. The costumes do not flatter the ladies at all and look quite sloppy. They were saved by the gorgeous headpieces and smiles, but the moves…seemed incredibly random. Rare moments of synced movements provided some sense of relief, but over all, for chorus line dancers, they have an abominable sense of rhythm and don’t dance that well. The girls seem very nice, but don’t have the oomph & electricity to really capture the audience. Also, they left in what seemed to be an embarrassed hurry. Never!

Also, you’re doing a burlesque show & you’re not cinched? Girl, bye.

As a wise professor used to say, “It’s not about the size, it’s about the line”. Take care of that silhouette, mademoiselle!

Then came the singer, Marie Weinberg. If only she was as good as our charming host promised…remarkably, her stage presence was close to nil. Both of the dresses were gorgeous, but she should’ve worn the green one first - the black & diamanté ensemble should’ve been saved for dessert.

The choice of songs was excellent, but she did nothing with them. Her version of “Oops I Did It Again” was surprisingly charmless. One mustn’t even do much to make it a hit, it’s all there - the dramaturgy, the humour, the irony, but somehow she managed to make it gloriously bland.

I was bored! At a Burlesque show! Nonsense.

Does she have a good voice? Yes.  

Does she sing well? Yes.

Is she entertaining? No.

Does she know what do with an audience? No.

Do I want to see her again? No.

On to the deshabillants!

In general, I want to say that most of the acts were extremely similar. I know, I know, this is Burlesque, the main mechanism is quite predictable - but it seemed like 90% had a version of a wrap-around dress with pretty much the final look underneath. It is so fun to play with expectation in this genre, and somehow most of the performers completely overlooked this opportunity. However, this is only the beginning. Everyone started somewhere!

Ellisha Fox, I salute you. I can’t even imagine the amount of raised eyebrows and hurt pseudo-masculine egos you had to encounter on your path. His style is reminiscent of glorious anime characters, his moves are impressive, and those heels!! Those heels!!!! Good Lord, he’s a superhero!!

However, a pinch of self-irony would not ago astray. Perhaps, for a future act. I’d recommend taking a leaf out of Jett Adore’s book - specifically the Zorro act with which he travelled all over the world as part of Dita’s show.

Still, Ellisha had one of the best acts of the evening, Bravo!

If we were to speak about lack of self-irony, Tamasina Beansun is the queen of it. Her acts have excellent ideas - the Eve one she showed at last years’ Moscow Burlesque Festival, or the Little Red Riding Hood she presented this time - but her performances are so self-absorbed, at times one feels like he’s the third wheel. Like a party for one that you somehow found yourself in. And sure, it can be a style choice, but it’s not working. Sometimes it simply becomes vulgar. And it’s not a question of confidence, for it is always felt.

This is not the case. Simply put, she does not need the audience. Her self-indulgence feeds every appetite that she herself has.

Her Siberian Prime ally, Katerina Sahara, is an exact opposite. She loves the audience and it shows. Her acts range from witty & ironic (The Bunny), to majestic & mesmerising (the newest addition, The Dragon). Her moves are hypnotising, she always looks impeccable. She knows her worth and yet is the first one to laugh at herself. I must admit, her Dragon act amazed me. It was so well thought through, so gorgeous, utterly hypnotising. I often use her Bunny act as an example of brilliant Russian Burlesque. Can’t wait to see what she does next.

The Stage Kitten, our charming engineer, was quite good. I do wish she had a bigger moment though, you know, the moment. Also, perhaps it would be wiser to opt for a pair of more comfortable heels - the chance of a fall loomed over her in a quite a terrifying way.

Jeva Noir. I was particularly excited to see her, as I remember how sad she was at last years’ Moscow Burlesque Festival, sharing that they didn’t include her in the programme. Well, I must admit I can see why.

Does the act have an idea? Oh yes.

Is she gorgeous? Absolutely.

Is the costume marvelous? Quite.

The music? Good.

But something just didn’t click. Nerves? Perhaps. Some of her moves seemed forced & mechanical. In Burlesque, every move has a meaning, a purpose, a storyline to unveil. Also, a better wig is strongly advised.

If it is not a wig, better hair care is strongly advised.

Radmila Rocky Zombie got somewhat lost amongst the midst of performers. I was looking forward to this voluptuous beauty, but didn’t really get much. Caravan is a fantastic song, and she definitely has the skills, but something just didn’t work. There was no “wow” moment. I have a strong desire to see her other acts, this one seemed quite bland.

Well, Anja Pavlova is a treasure and a wonder. Not many leading ladies can shift between MC & performer with such ease & elegance. Her performances are a time machine, she exudes excitement. It is a treat to watch her.

However, when she gushed over the “kinky Burlesque” of Blanche De Moscou as something wildly original, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was convincing herself. In an industry where Dark Burlesque & Fetish Burlesque are huge, kinky Burlesque isn’t novel at all. Not even a little bit. Also, what was kinky about her number? A small demonstration of a few rather tame objects? The mask in the end? The spilling of the milk on her dainty bosom?

Blanche is a true enthusiast and her entrance look for this act is jaw-dropping. But the transformation that takes place in this performance can be made bigger, better, bolder.

THE FINALE

The show has a signature atmosphere of luscious elegance. It may not be thoroughly consistent, but it’s very clear that Pavlova knows what she wants and is working to fully fulfil her dreamy fantasy.

Perhaps if she were more strict and demanding, the results would be even more fabulous.

✶✶✶✶

[ourweroshen]

[devilishdewitt]

Ladies of Burlesque, June 2019

Short’n’Sweet, off we go!

First things first, the most important part of any review I shall ever write:

~The Eternal Disclaimer~

It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.

Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.

Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.

However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.

All is sickly without self-irony.

Now, onwards! To fabulousness!

Ah, Michel! Beautiful as you approach it, delightful as you step in, courteous waiters, excellent food!

The stage seemed a tad bit too small and a little bit too close to the audience (to my liking), and seemed quite stifling, really. However, certainly not the worst option in Moscow!

Our gorgeous swan-queen host, Anja Pavlova was on top form both nights. Her hosting excelled  - the marriage of her Moscow State University philosophy faculty, English teacher experience (hello, fantasies), European lady class and Russian intelligentsia wit provide endless charm, wittiness and grace. Brava!

The chorus line was better. The routine was polished, they had fun - and so they were fun to watch. But still, ladies! Waists! Synch! It’s not that hard! A little shape goes a long way!

You, dearest darlings, already know how much I adore Ladies of Burlesque.

However,  h o w e v e r, there is just one thing I can’t for the life of me understand.

The fascination with Marie Weinberg.

Is she sweet? Undoubtedly.

Is she talented? Sure.

Is she good in this show? No.

Her tone of voice is just not suited to the mood, the vibe, the occasion.

Or she simply doesn’t make it work.

She seems dead scared every time she walks on stage, she doesn’t own the audience, she doesn’t seem to enjoy herself - and the audience feels it!

Being harsh is never my intention, and I have a healthy amount of self-doubt (believe it or not, darling reader!), so I decided to ask a certain number of fellow spectators. An opinion in unison…bland.

She doesn’t feel the energy of the songs she’s singing, either. She seems to simply enjoy the sound of her own voice.

And don’t even get my started on the crumpled, non-ironed dress (girl! Get a steamer!!) and the ill-fitting gloves. Oh, Whineberg…

Blanche de Moscou. Excellent! She completely transforms on stage. The sparkle, the charm, the stories, the moves - it’s all there! This time she entertained us with her “Pink 60’s” and “Kinky” acts. Both were great, though the Kinky one still isn’t Kinky - and even inserting a fox-tail butt-plug into her belle-chose (instead of it’s derrière-destiny) at the Kinky Party didn’t help the cause.

Elisha Fox - excellent as always. Unfortunate that the video projector got in the way of his dance flow (a very low ceiling for a tall performer (especially in those heels!)). 

However, his magic is inextinguishable.

Especially the “My Little Pony” addition in the end of the “Magic Lamp” number…self-irony at it’s best!

I know what you’re thinking, darling. It seems as if I write about Elisha is every review. That’s because...it is the truth! He is indeed one of the few (ahem, two) performers who are invited to almost every event. All the cliques, groups and cults want a slice of his boylesque extravaganza. Of course it’s due to the fact that he’s really, really good - but also, he’s one of a kind, and being a boylesque performer in Russia is an act of bold, glittery rebellion.

However, Elisha does get elephantine bonus points for being, indeed, the first and only of his kind in Russia. So if I were to judge our luminary on an international scale, he wouldn’t shine quite as bright, and here’s why.

The marvel lends too much focus to the technique. Burlesque is about the magic of connection - that is what the tease does, creates electricity between the performer and the audience. The tease, the joy, the desire to inspire, the will to share the story...Elisha has everything. Now he has to let it go and enjoy his time on stage. The dancing is perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. Make eye contact! Make a mistake! Breathe! Allow yourself to be alive on that stage. Because the audience wants to be alive with you.

If I could make one wish on the lamp of our dazzling genie...it would be that Tanya, aka @konfetki​, would look the part. The producer of such a dazzling event deserves to look as brilliant as the show. Oh, did I say deserves? I meant should. This is in no way an attack on anyone’s freedom of expression, but there are fairly simple style rules that would amp up the full experience. It’s a question of atmosphere, of vibe, of team spirit! When the team spirit is brilliance, you dress accordingly, darling!

It’s a damn shame that Victoria Semmybird wasn’t able to come. Tales of her Dumbo act travel far and wide, and St Petersburg burlesque quite often offers a refreshing quirkiness. Moscow takes itself so seriously...perhaps we shall see a flourish of comedic acts sooner rather than later!

Tamasina Beansun was alright. Her Vaping Moon act was syrupy, sensual and full of deeply-set inner emotional drama, and her Butterfly act was syrupy... sensual...and...well, you get me.

She did expertly get rid of a naughty button - rip it off and throw it away! That’s the temperament that could make her future acts truly shine.

Her Siberian Prime inseparable, Katerina Sahara, was her usual fabulous self. Starting with her Heartbroken act, that suits any occasion with its elegant languid flow & elements of enticing percussion. But it was her second act that really made the room explode with excitement. Take a Russian jazz-pop classic, add a feisty tropical/Cuban costume, add rum, twerking and brilliant charm and you got yourself a treasure.

Masha Arzamasova, a journalist, sex blogger and all-round brilliant lady did a stand up act on night 2 - and it was excellent. Sassy, confident, hilarious - the room was buzzing long after she sat back at her table. Refreshing!

I have a feeling that the Ladies might be lending this modest little writing endeavour a pinch of their attention, as Elena the Stage Kitten had her moment to shine and it was delightful! You go, Lena!

Wish I could say the same about Jeva Noir.

I must say, it takes talent to take one of the most adored and vivid female comic book characters - POISON IVY!!, choose the deliciously malicious Uma Thurman version, make some fern fans…and make it so bland.

Girl.

Posture.

That corset does NOT fit. It’s supposed to SYNCH YOU IN.

The wig is tragic. I’m sorry, but it’s just a fact.

Actually, no. I am not sorry. The reason why I’m making these comments is because I want the quality of Russian burlesque to rise and conquer the world. Someone’s gotta tell the truth!

The choreography is awkward and doesn’t do anything. It’s just moving for the sake of moving.

You can’t take one of the most ironically sexy songs in the history of mankind and NOT make fun of it or at least ENJOY it.

Apparently there is such a thing as too much glitter  ( g  a  s  p )

Also, sticky jewels on one’s forehead stopped working since every single festival-going chick started sticking them everywhere.

Caught a glimpse of Eva out of costume - my God, how gorgeous she is! Her elegant bob haircut suits her flawlessly, she carries herself with poise…so what happens when she’s in character?

A perplexing addition to the pantheon of LoB elegance.

I have the antidote to the sadness of this last paragraph, darling reader - our paramount lady, Anja. The two acts she brought to us this time were “A Lady Loves” (the big fan one) and “You’re My Thrill” (the moon act), dedicated to her lucky Persian prince husband.  

Well, let me tell you, she was our thrill. 

The lady loves and oh, the lady’s loved!

What really makes her stand out is the grace, the raw emotion, the adoration of the music (we can feel it in her bones), and just how much she loves this show and burlesque.

Another thing I must mention is the costume changes. God, I love a good costume change, and Pavlova did indeed bring. it. on.

From her breathtaking golden iris Mucha Bond-girl fantasy to a vivacious green glitter tassel Christmas tree fantasy (sewn in one night with no sewing machine!), it was endlessly entertaining and captivating - much like the lady herself! Also, the new wig length worked superbly well. I daresay that a longer style suited her much better than her usual curly bobs.

“Burlesque is unapologetic”, she manifests towards the end - and god damn, the gal is right! Unapologetic in its confidence, playfulness, storytelling and celebration of being alive in those bizarre, beautiful bodies of ours!

Hoorah, ladies and gentlemen! (of burlesque and beyond)

PS

The Ladies of Burlesque Halloween show will take place on the 1st of November at the same venue, Cafe Michel.

[tamasinabeansun-blog]

Tamasina Beansun for REMIX autumn'13 photo by Ksenia Sazanovich

[marvinbarreiros]

Coruja da Sexta #0132

Snow White - Ksenia Sazanovich

[purrrka]

Photo: Ksenia Sazanovich Model: Tamasina Beansun

[ourweroshen]