#tbc she has said she is retired from acting and in her second life as a soon to be therapist and i respect that

[juanabaloo]

i haven't even seen Hacks but i do long for the parallel universe where Eliza Dushku has a guest spot (recurring?) for a minor character on Hacks or a similar show.

[emmaleahjane]

I was with someone who acted like they absolutely adored me. They loved the way i sang, my music, my humor, my ideas about life, and he would always tell me how good i smelled and looked. He said he wanted to marry me and have babies together. A life. We were friends for many years. He proposed the second week we got together.

Then the control started. He told me he couldn't deal with a long distance relationship because my dad was retiring and moving to Michigan and he told me to just move in with him. He saw the extent of my items (a roomfull) and said there was no problem at all. My best friend helped me move in and suddenly he started asking where all this crap was gonna go. I was thrown off but brushed it away and made everything look more clean and organized then before i got there.

Our romantic relationship had already started rocky. We were buddies who smoked a lot of pot together. He would hit on me even though he had a gf and before that i would always laugh at the thought of us together. He was about 5 years younger than me. I remember us having a shot on his 21st at the local watering hole. He didnt drunk much. His girlfriend also had a few years to go to be at the bar.

I was with my boyfriend for about 2 years. Hes cheated, lied, talked to girls behind my back, my friends, made out with a girl in front of me once. I had to be held back to not beat the fuck out of both of them. But we made it through. He was an alcoholic and a coke head. But he works hard on the boat for months at a time so hes always forgiven. He says he was fat and bullied as a child, but his teenage and young adult life made him seem like the real bully. The way he treated me was always like a bully felt.

Leave for the boat and i would always wait patiently. Comes home and acts like a complete buffoon with no ambition. Just to party and go to the bar while i drove. So most nights i spent alone confused and depressed.

I would find a temporary escape with my sweet marijuana who i got a killer deal from the boy i began the story with. One day my boyfriend and i ended up there together one night and i was really tired. Im pretty sure it was Halloween and i was dressed like a schoolgirl. I napped while they did dmt together with a few other ppl.

Forward a bit i find out my bf had gone behind my back and was getting fucked and sucked while i was at work by some red headed nasty old tramp i used to work with. Shattered i tried making it work but i couldnt anymore.

There was my buddy. Now working at the same dispensary as me. Flirting. Making me feel good about myself. As i was shattered. He said him and his girl werent doing well. I tried staying away. He wanted to be in my life. I couldnt resist.

I broke it off with my bf, he was still with his gf. I went to drop my key off and tried staying away from my ex and he lured me with words i wanted to hear into our bed. I rolled over to a text that said. " i broke up with her"

I was fucked. I didnt even want to be with my ex. But i didnt want to lie. I picked him up after and told him the truth. He said i was disgusting and all this other nasty shit. I almost drove us off the road i was in complete hysteria.

We cooled off. Ended up together. Moved in. Engaged.

I wasnt really allowed to talk to any boys. Barely any girls. I told him i was bisexual and he said not when im with him im not.

He was always going through my phone. Questioning. Pressing. Digging. Blocking. Deleting. I didnt care. I felt like i deserved it.

I went to Michigan to visit my family. He had my other phone that mirrored my current phone. Always checking in on me. The time in Michigan i should have had, the last month i had with my aunt unknowingly, was wasted arguing almost 24/7 about my past present and future. When i had no way of knowing what he was doing when i was gone. Which i found out after we broke up that he was fucking around on me driving around my fucking car. Also he said if i didnt wuit smoking cigarettes we would not be together. So i quit. It was hard as fuck. When i landed back in oregon i had one cigarette left. He crushed it in his hand. We fought the whole way home. He was also driving without knowing where he was going.

We went to Hawaii. He was a nightmare. My friend died when we were there. He said dont let it ruin my time. He constantly had me in tears. When it was ending he was nagging in my ear saying he was going to fuck my best friends so i socked him in the head 5 times. Before that i tried to leave after he told me to gtfo and then pushed me hard back on the bed. One morning we woke up and he shattered my bong. Never got me a new one. Was always and is still sitting on money that he got from selling pot.

Anyways. My ex and i ended up back together because he said all the right things again. Now im stuck with an alcoholic cokehead bf who has done me so wrong and tried to say he would make it all better. When all he does is stay up late drinkin and doing shitty coke shitting his brains out buying guns and other shit for himself constantly leaving a mess never cleaning it up but always saying hes bored. Sita on the fucking couch all day playing games on his phone and whatever the fuck else he does. He tells me to run for the hills and i fucking will. But then says he knows i will be the mother of his children. Doesnt even have a shred of me on his social media. Doesnt follow me on instagram because i called a stripper put he was friends with and lied about and got all fuckin butthurt about it. Too much sketchy shit. I get nothing but pain from this. He doesnt care about what kind of big dreams i have or what i like all he fucking cares about is himself and his dog, who i feed and give medicine to and take potty while he sleeps in all day and is lazy on the couch. Must be nice. He also tells me to just relax when this house used to be infested with rats then we killed them and i hsd to clean up the poop. To this day he says its not a big deal.

.

Also. His "best friend" is a girl he lost his virginity to and shes been huh is bartender for years always overserving him. They are besties and have so much in common and have constantly belitted me for being younger then them. They are in their early 30s and im 27... but i have to be comfortable with them talking all the time and she fucking hates me AND my mom. Shes a petty little bitch that needs her ass wooped.

Tbc..

Either way imma be ok and imma figure it out. Im just so twisted. I even told him im fucking done with this shit and i think he thinks im not serious when im not fucking around anymore