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for years i rewrote my own memory in order to blame myself for developing ocd. i read a book about a girl with ocd a few months before it got really bad and i guess i thought i just??? copied that???? cause it sounded so fun??? anyway a while back i found my dairy from the time and before i even knew of that book i was detailing my extremely upsetting intrusive thoughts i’d developed when i started at secondary school & when i did read that book i literally made a note of “it kinda sounds like what’s going on in my head, good thing i know what not to do now” like jesus christ as if ‘i’m sure i can control it’ isn’t the dumbest thing ever in this type of context lmao. anyway the moral of the story is that your brain lies to you sometimes
#.txt#diary tag#tbe book was ‘an i normal yet’ by holly bourne#i haven’t read it in years cause. you know. i imagine it’d be difficult#also she’s no longer a cool older girl im reading about. she’s just A Peer#and that scares me to read. cause my life is so much like hers now#actually ocd#ocd
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