#teamjohnsmith

[sunshinebarbie95]

Pocahontas dumping John smith for John Rolfe is literally the Disney equivalent of Elizabeth Bennett dumping Mr.Darcy for Mr.Collins

[ellievatorr]

POCAHONTAS 2 HAS RUINED MY CHILDHOOD

[sunshinebarbie95]

I’m convinced whoever came up with the plot and script for Pocahontas 2 was definitely on drugs because there is no way any sane sober person with taste would create that dumpster fire of a script and plot and genuinely thought it was a good idea

[sunshinebarbie95]

Thomas : John Smith would throw himself in front of a moving vechile for you !

Pocahontas : John Smith would throw himself in front of a moving vechile for fun.

[sunshinebarbie95]

“I may be an idiot but I’m not stupid.” John smith at some point probably.

[sunshinebarbie95]

Pocahontas with John smith vs John Rolfe

John smith : I’m cold

Pocahontas : here John take my cape, do you need some warm tea or hot soup. We can go inside if your so cold

John Rolfe : I’m cold

Pocahontas : sorry rolfe but I don’t know what you want me to do it’s not like I can control the weather

[sunshinebarbie95]

Incorrect Pocahontas quote

John smith : I wasn’t that drunk

Thomas : you were flirting with Pocahontas

John smith : Well were married

Thomas : you asked her if she was single and started crying when she said no

[sunshinebarbie95]

Disney I’m totally cool with you making Pocahontas 3 where she dumps loser John and gets back together with her true love John smith but I have a few requests :

1. The movie poster is a recreation of the distracted boyfriend meme except we all know who’s who

2. Chris hemsworth will voice John smith if Mel Gibson can’t reprise his role and whenever he sees Meeko he refers to meeko as sweet rabbit (for obvious reasons)

3. All the other Disney couples who got happily ever after a are wearing shirts that say team John smith and when John smith is racing to the ends of the earth to reunite with the love of his life the other couples are wearing their team John smith shirts cheering on John yelling “go get your girl John !”

[sunshinebarbie95]

Unpopular opinion : I don’t blame Pocahontas for choosing John smith over kocoum I said what I said

[sunshinebarbie95]

Pocahontas choosing John Rolfe over John smith is like Belle choosing Gaston over the beast or like jasmine choosing Jafar over aladdin

[sunshinebarbie95]

PocaRolfe shippers : why do you guys like John smith ?

PocaSmith shippers and anyone with brain cells : because he’s not John Rolfe

[sunshinebarbie95]

I will never understand why people even consider shipping Pocahontas and Joke Rolfe. John smith literally almost died saving her father and immediately jumps on his horse to go save her after she’s arrested in that horrible sequel while joke Rolfe is literally moping around on his butt not even trying to go rescue her after she’s arrested. John smith literally accepted her for who she was and didn’t try to change her into something she’s not like the other John did.

[sunshinebarbie95]

John Rolfe : how can you choose John smith over me ? He’s the exact opposite of me !!

Pocahontas : that’s exactly why I’m choosing him over you

[sunshinebarbie95]

All you “John Rolfe cares more about Pocahontas than John smith does” bullshitters can choke

[sunshinebarbie95]

I’ve seen team Rolfe say they like Rolfe better because “he didn’t call her people savages like John smith did” and it’s honestly not even a valid argument because yeah he did at first and it definitely wasn’t ok but once he realizes it wasn’t ok he immediately stops and doesn’t do it again so it’s not even a valid argument considering the fact that he literally stops once he realizes it isn’t ok. That’s like saying the beast is mean to Belle when he was at first but once he realized it wasn’t ok he immediately stopped. And it’s not like John Rolfe was super kind and sweet toward her while he didn’t call her people savages he literally complains that she acted like a stereotypical woman,was against her going to London because she was a woman and kept trying to control her. I don’t know that doesn’t sound very kind or sweet to me 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

[sunshinebarbie95]

It’s so ironic how Rolfe shippers say my comparisons between John smith and John Rolfe is biased when literally every Rolfe shipper is basically like “John smith is a selfish evil toxic monster who treated Pocahontas like crap but John Rolfe is such a kind sweet angel who only treated Pocahontas with kindness and respect” (even though both are bold faced lies) it’s even funnier that I’ve seen Rolfe shippers complain about how team smith is so toxic and bashes Rolfe for no reason but of course they can bash John smith like their life depends on it and act like he’s a selfish monster even though he clearly isn’t