#textdisaster

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"the secret keepers have been trying to make me the villain this entire season, and it's like, why not just embrace it?"

oh god. the gradual progression from him wanting friends, to getting all these tasks and railing against the injustice of it all, to fully succumbing, giving up and letting go and deciding, they want a villain? he'll give them one all right

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it's the way that all the other winners are portrayed as being traumatised by their win, but i honestly think that scar winning is going to be the push he needs to finally start to properly heal

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"who cares, really, you know, at the end? we all just die and nothing. i mean, it's just nothing after this" SCAR???

i am so using this somewhere, oh my god

scar being so jaded after all this time or something. aaaaaaaaa

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joel smallishbeans is courting etho slab in hermitcraft season 10

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haven't seen anyone on my dash talking about etho saying to joel, "someone's gotta put up with you"

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choosing to take grian bringing up the life series with scar in a lighthearted way as a sign of healing

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i love the roomies because like. grian, a man known for jumping ship, basically invited himself into cleo and etho's relationship - and they accepted it. not in a "oh let's humour him when really we all know we don't trust each other" way, they genuinely included him in everything, cared for him, and all three of them stayed loyal to each other till the end. against all odds, despite the reputation each of them had made for themselves in previous games, they made something genuine between the three of them - something that withstood the distrust and bloodlust. something that said, "you're a part of us now" in the most human way possible.

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once again marvelling over how wild it is that like dogwarts and impulse and them were all geared up as fuck, 30 level enchants and villagers and all that... and desert duo won through the sheer power of bullshittery

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a lot of people call scarian divorced, but i honestly think that's an oversimplification. to me, at least, they give off the vibes of a couple who got divorced and then remarried and divorced again, and so their problem is that no matter how much they try, they just can't seem to leave each other the fuck alone.

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whoever ends up getting added to hermitcraft in the end, someone's fans are gonna go insane the day the episodes air and i love that

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scar having had no idea he gets hearts for murder...that man is fully under the red life bloodlust. true villain moment

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rewatching martyn's 3rd life and thinking about how they went from "don't be a dog be a god" to "red winter is coming"

like i'm watching renchanting's first meeting and it's so lighthearted and all i can think of is how do we get from THIS. to THIS.

my favourite thing tbh. when a storyline/character arc progresses in a way that feels very natural, but then you compare the beginning to the end and it's like what the fuck happened here

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so a lot of the time grian is portrayed as aloof, self-serving - but that's not what he's really like, is it? for all that grian gets a reputation of being cold and uncaring, if you look at how he is with his allies, it's quite the opposite. grian has such a capacity for fierce devotion that he's displayed time and time again - and the reason why it gets overlooked is because that devotion only lasts as long as the person it's directed at is there to receive it. grian will be unquestionably loyal to his allies, but only up until they die. he doesn't stay loyal after death. what's interesting about that, however, is that it doesn't mean he doesn't care. rather, i think he cares too much - not in general, but in his own eyes.

scott says, "never seen a man drop a pair of sunglasses quicker", to which grian replies, "my boys died", as if that explains everything. and it does. because that's the crux of it, isn't it? we all know that grian, at heart, is a survivor - but i don't think it's his life that he wants so desperately to protect. if it was, he wouldn't be nearly so daring, so willing to put himself out there - no, there are ways to play the game carefully, and grian knows this. the reason why he's as guarded as he is, why he will do his best to take and take and take until the universe has nothing left to give, is because he's scared of the grief that he would feel if he let the relationships he makes be more than something temporary that he allows himself to care for only for as long as it exists. if he doesn't stay attached, if he only acknowledges something good while he has it, then it can't hurt him to lose it. grian is a survivor, yes. but his emotions always mattered more than winning or dying ever did.

grian will scratch and claw, will fight for an alliance with everything he has - but as soon as that alliance is gone? well, there's nothing left to fight for, is there?

(he pretends there's nothing left, needs to convince himself that it all means nothing now, because he's afraid of what he would feel if he let himself admit that there are some things that continue to matter even after they're gone.)

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part of being a joel smallishbeans fan, in my experience, is that within like a month of watching him "lovely jubbly" becomes an irrevocable part of your vocabulary

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joel refusing to murder a bunch of people with a tnt minecart and instead going off to build a pretty house

man has One coping mechanism

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i wonder if grian felt a pang as bdubs asked if he should kill scar and jimmy forced him to say yes. if his mind went to the lone base in the middle of the server, the torn apart house, and he thought of everything scar had been through, everything he'd done to him in this game and the ones before. if he imagined blood-spattered sunflowers, almost similar to poppies in their red, and thought, "he doesn't deserve this."

if, for just a moment, he wanted desperately to say, "no, don't touch him, leave him alone" - and then remembered that if scar doesn't deserve to die, then he, grian, doesn't deserve this. he lost that right.

he lost the right to shield scar when all his hands did was deal the killing blow, every single time.