#tfa test tube

[kandy-sticks-zaza-blogs]

What would happened if you irl met the Tfa crew and rottmnt fam

My sona would be name Dartwave a clone of Soundwave.Their alt mode is a Shelby Mustang 1967.They use their sturdy helm for headbutting like Jasper from Steven Universe.They dont have a weapon. Anyway they are a Autobot but the Autobots don't believe it.

Tfa Crew

Dartwave would be created after Sound and Fury episodes Sound wave created them when the Tfa Crew is asleep. After Soundwave is defeated their first introduction at the ending sequence is there's a lab with a single test tube. They stepped out of the test tube with steams and smokes only to see their pedes and zoomed in with a visor glowing but not a face only a sillhoutte when after the Sound and fury.

When they are 'born' they began to have identity crisis as they began to call themselves Dartwave.

They walked through the streets when they scan their alt mode from their optics.

Optimus is on a night watching duty as he saw a car with no driver so he follows and report to his team.

They surround the car as Dartwave transforms into their Bipedal mode.

They seem to be shocked that they thought that it is Soundwave but they are a height of Ratchet,different colour scheme and the voice sound normal.

Dartwave got away they are shy and did not interact much.

But the next day Bumblebee is driving around as he saw a familiar car as he tries to touch it Dartwave grab his servos to stop doing that as Bumblebee talked to them. Dartwave is quiet they might be listening to him as he talks alot. Dartwave leaves when the sunset is getting darker but instead Bumblebee just grabbed their servos instead as he drags them to his base that his team is confuse but my sons stayed for awhile they are not a big fan of mission.

Rottmnt

The scene started when Donnie break into a car thought there's nobody but the car control itself he thought there someone control or a ghost but it was a robot.

Donnie would keep them in his room.

His brothers would be shock to see a robot.

[blueikeproductions]

Still observing BotBots since there’s been a bit of time to better gage people’s reactions to the show.

General consensus I’m getting is mostly “S’ok, BUT…!” with the buts typically being art style quibbles and observations on the humor. One comment that stuck out described the humor as “early-mid SpongeBob” but with too much shouting and overexplaining the jokes after setting them up.

I’ve noticed some shows do that a lot lately, and I don’t get why. Is that a new hip thing to do? Am I that old? (I’m in my early 30’s as of typing but still). Either way, if you have to explain the joke constantly, that’s not a great indicator of your show’s humor to me. Screaming your lines isn’t much better, bad TUFF Puppy memories, and I was mostly ok with TUFF otherwise.

Art style quibbles are what I see most of in my orbit, and even I’m kind of questioning what was going on here. Going by Instagram posts promoting the show, it seems changing the art style was the first thing they focused on, with different experiments on the Lost Bots. Burgertron at one point was very muscular, having Launchpad McQuack and Optimus like proportions (I guess someone was having fun with Grade A Beef Cake jokes at that stage). That design seems to have been repurposed for a french fry BotBot though, and for some reason he makes me think of TFA Sentinel… Must be the chin.

The female Lost Bots‘ final designs, similar to their toys, use an androgynous look, but concept art had both with really defined hips and comically tiny waists that I can’t help but laugh at after some factions complained about most female TF body types being too sexy. (Even then that always felt like a double standard to me going by some of the same people being totally fine with Prime Arcee’s bikini get up...). Even then Kickme still has really long legs still (perfect for kicking naturally) and has this X-J9 as a Crash Test Dummy vibe so far removed from the Mamemon looking toy I‘m surprised it’s just not a separate characte called Goalie or Kickstart.

Dimlit had a phase where he looked like a robot from Dexter’s Lab, and Clogstopper at one point was closer to his toy but had a scuba gear motif I kinda wish was kept. I’m actually not even sure what they were going for with Clogstopper’s new design. He looks like a Family Guy character in crappy Iron Man armor and if you weren’t already aware of his toy, he looks like he Transforms into a tube of Krazy Glue instead of a plunger. Dave the security guard kinda weirds me out because he looks like a disheveled middle aged Flint Lockwood (not helped is he specifically reminds me of the animated series version visually. -shudders-), and my first thought with him is he’s the Mr. Crocker/Gargamel of the show out to get the BotBots. And while he still… more or less is this, surprisingly he’s actually a nice guy and when put into a position to prove the Bots exist, he doesn‘t and assures them they’ll be ok. This backfires of course because an earlier panic call to the authorities leads to, surprisingly, a Sector Seven agent to drop by to investigate the tiny robots.

Sector Seven is a surprise since that organization had never really made the leap from the movies to other major non movie media (it was honestly right there in Prime and other Aligned media had it tweaked its direction. Even Cybervers’s first season easily could’ve been Bee on the run from Seymour Simmons and other nosy Sector Seven agents for awhile instead of just Slipstream’s jets). It’s also a surprise the show could potentially have a plot beyond “lil’ TFs partying it up in a shopping mall”, dare I say a revelation as to how the Energon gas came to be and created the BotBots? That’s always been a weird detail to me since A it’s a surprising lack of the Allspark, and B Energon as life giving stuff hasn’t really been played up since, well, TF Energon, and C the toys’ storyline seems to imply the regular Transformers don’t even exist beyond an in-universe product. I had a Cyberverse crossover bit where the BotBots were the result of Cheetor and BlackArachnia dropping the Allspark in a mall they were passing through and the impact sent a wave of Energon that birthed the BotBots, but the possibility the show could go with its own elaboration to the origin of the Energon gas is interesting. Easy answer is Sector Seven obtained a sample from the regular Transformers fighting over a chunk, and upon studying it, accidentally detonated it, the resulting mist bathing the mall. But even then that’s wishful thinking, and there’s really no reason for them to do so. Sector Seven being a go to alien investigation government antagonist once again works just fine. Still Sector Seven being in a new cartoon makes me wonder if they have a role in EarthSpark and will have a more solidified role in future cartoons.

Still the show itself largely just seems to be ok, and that’s all good. It WAS trending on Netflix yesterday a little later in the early afternoon so more people were checking it out than I was expecting. The only TF stuff that’s been constantly popular and trending were RotF and DotM, meaning people were far more interested in the movies than BotBots for a moment. What does that tell you, lol, but either way, seems BotBots is being watched now. And as much as it seems I’m ragging on it, I DO genuinely hope it (and EarthSpark) do well to encourage Hasbro to experiment more with the brand again and to stop reheating stale ideas (Prime Wars, War For Cybertron and Cyberverse were all heavily tethered to G1 nostalgia and slightly unpopular modern ideas and IDW tendencies and offered very little new ideas. Not to mention both pretty much expected you to be already be intimately familiar with TFs going in to fill in gaps, that it’s no wonder the current kid audiences tuned it out but main stay adult fans latched on to both). BotBots is entry point friendly for new kids, and I especially hope that’s the case for EarthSpark as well.

One last observation. As noted before, the voice talent is the Nelvana cast popular for shows like Medabots, Bakugan and Total Drama, so fears of having the somewhat unpopular voice talent and direction from WFC and Cyberverse return so far isn‘t an issue, with a much welcome return to better voice acting. I’m wondering if EarthSpark might also be made up of Nelvana voice talent, and if so makes me curious who in the talent pool would be a good Prime, Bee and Megsy. The guy who voiced Metabee is currently the French fry BotBot, so I wonder what Transformer in EarthSpark could be given the Metabee treatment~! Prime, RiD15 and Rescue Bots shared the same talent pool, and similarly Cyberverse, WFC and RBA shared their own distinct voice talent, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility! However if not them, considering EarthSpark is a Nick show and those shows mostly keep to the same talent pool for their own stuff, what are the odds we could get Tom Kenny to reprise Starscream~?

[the-scrappy-stinger]

Hmm...I wonder. Hello, Bumblebee. My name is Centinela Minor. I am the head of Cybertron Intelligence and twin sister of Sentinel Prime in universe TFA-1.2e, the Twinsies AU. I am doing an experiment related to multiverse communication. I wonder if you would be interested in participating?

@centinelaminor

So is this like, a survey thing? Or are we gonna be doing stuff with test tubes?

[sauntervaguelydown]

"6 different popular continuities" LITERALLY WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?? Is it comic books??? this is exactly what i'm talking about! What is HAPPENING in this fandom?? I LOVE it. I just saw some of the really pretty fanart after reading a thing about how tranformers reproduce i'm confused and i love it

okay so what you’ve got to understand is there’s a transformers where the transformers transform into only cars but if they transform into planes that means they’re evil but it’s different from the one where earth is the corpse of a sleeping god full of goth crack cocaine that helps you do necromancy and BOTH of those are different than the

i’m sorry let me do this again

so this franchise has been around since the early 80′s and because the toys came first and the story came second, it keeps being reinvented in new and weird and delightful ways because the only true and central thing is the design+name combination of the line up, and even that gets changed from time to time for arcane business reasons

G1, the original 80′s cartoon, has absolutely nothing about the robots being in Disguise despite that being in the fucking title song, they’re just on earth being action superhero alien robots who sometimes politicians hate and want to ban because they’re Not Like Us. There are two cast lineups I this show, because after season 2 the big theatrical movie killed off 90% of the original cast and then had a bunch of new robots fill in their roles in the story more or less. This was designed to Move Products.

Beastwars. This is the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen, with the script writing that first elevated transformers as a franchise into something (I would argue) worth remembering for more than being fun toys. Everyone turns into an earth animal of some kind. There are no humans.

When the Bay movies were in production, Cartoon Network started a new carton series (TFA) in which Optimus Prime was a disgraced young military officer who took the fall for his shitty friend when their mutual girlfriend died on a forbidden planet. This show resembles Teen Titans with 90% more alien protagonists. It’s very sexist but otherwise surprisingly good. Only Decepticons turn into flight capable alt modes. This is a plot point.

After that The Hub produced a CGI cartoon (Prime, or “TFP”) which had more Bay movie flavor, but also one of the most good hearted and soothing Optimus Primes of all time, and he’s got a snatched waist. In this show all the Decepticons also turn into planes, but it’s not a plot point, it’s just a Thing that Happens. this is the one that has the amazing Starscream with the built in high heels, who looks nothing like any other Starscream. In this one, being in disguise and living secretly on the planet is a plot point. Planet Earth is an eldritch abomination.

There’s a newer cartoon which is “Cyberverse”, which has a lot of the goofy cartoon energy of G1 but with new popular highlights from other continuities such as: Bumblebee having his voice box ripped out by Megatron and being therefore mute (but also an amnesiac); Windblade, a female transformer who isn’t a sexist caricature; Optimus and Megatron being friends before a major political schism.

ANDDDDD the comics. Which are MY favorite part. There have been comics off and on since the 80′s; there’s a current reboot running since 2019, but most people are deeply unimpressed with its meandering plot and overload of characters. The continuity that I stan ran from 2005 to 2018, and it included such exciting concepts as: monogender asexual species with homoerotic pairbonds, an entire political system based on racism against test tube babies, Starscream having Body Dysphoria because he was made in a factory, and a bunch of super boring crossovers with GIJOE comics 

:)c any questions?

[kingofattolia]

I liked it too. A lot. Glad to see I’m not alone

yea BUDDY

It wrapped up the disjointed threads of TFA and TLJ and went absolutely HOG WILD which is all i can ask for. I was mostly worried that they had put themselves in a position where the only two ends left available for Kylo Ren were EITHER:

1) Being killed like a rabid dog, thus ending the Skywalker story in ignominy and shame

2) Turning at the last second and pulling a cookie-cutter Vader move before instantly dying, which would have been very unsatisfying and feel hackneyed

I think that was the hardest problem they had to solve, and I felt like they did it pretty well and successfully walked a tightrope where it felt Vader echo-y in a good way without being a complete copycat.

Aside from that? The FORCE SHENANIGANS. It was LIT. There were no punches pulled, no time wasted thinking critically, no concessions to realism, they really just went for it. STRAIGHT up EU style and I was LIVING. 

Doubling and tripling down on the Force bond!! Ripping a freighter in half in the sky!! Han and Kylo!! Test tube clone Snoke! FORCE LIGHTNING. All the ghosts, SO many ghosts! RIDICULOUS Force healing that makes NO sense. JEDI MASTER LEIA ORGANA SOLO. Hearing everyone’s voices!! The Knights of Ren! ALL THE FIGHTS WERE SO COOL. THE TRIO DYNAMICS WERE SO GOOD. REY PASSING THE SKYWALKER SABER BEHIND HER BACK TO KYLO, IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ROOM I’M SORRY I WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT. THE LEIA LUKE FLASHBACK. LUKE LIFTING HIS X WING FINALLY. 

THE R I S E    OF  S K Y W A LK  E R  DOUBLE MEANING

[whentheynameyoujoy]

The Problem with Rey, or Where I Fail to Ignore the Bad Trilogy Yet Again

So, in a grand tradition of ignoring my New Year’s resolutions the second after making them, I hereby give up on trying to be less of a sourpuss this year and am going to once more plunge into the pit of negativity that’s the sequel trilogy. Namely, I’m going to put my two cents in that scene in TROS.

Or rather I’m going to try and sus out why it raised no eyebrows with me as I was watching it in the theatre, beyond the obligatory “Oh, callbacks! Cameos! That’s nice. Fuck off.”

After all, it absolutely should have. It’s an ostensible backslide in what passes for character development in these movies, a reversal in the texture of the hero’s journey, of the ST’s sketchy hint of the characters changing from broken immature children into self-actualized adults. And let’s not forget about the horrendous messaging that sees Rey forever entombed in the role of a pure virgin maiden, a replacement golden child that’s vindicated in her tendency to define herself through relations to others instead of becoming her own person.

Christ, the thing is literally golden.

And then it clicked why none of this raised any alarm bells with me.

I just fundamentally don’t take canon Rey seriously as a fictional character.

Mind you, this goes well beyond my inability to play with TROS on its own terms and stop riffing it (though it is a problem) or to view it from the Watsonian perspective instead of constantly remembering that the only reason the movie even exists is not to tell a story with any narrative integrity and artistic honesty, but to make a bazillion dollars and thus it can do without my emotional investment (though that’s also true).

My chief issue is that Rey as a character barely exists.

Now, what I mean by that is that Rey doesn’t conform to the definition of a fictional character as a purposeful construct, a set of distinctive traits making up a defined psychology that informs one’s behaviour and allows one to dictate the plot as its active agent, thus driving the story forward.

What’s confusing about this is that at the start of TFA, Rey had by far the strongest characterization out of anyone, original characters and new (although this stops being true pretty much the moment you notice it).

When we first meet Rey, she’s busy living what can only be described as the Star Wars equivalent of a Dickensian existence—a parentless teenager forced to fight for survival, figuratively and literally, and earn her own living from a very young age. What her life lacks in support and stability, it makes up for in hard labour, hunger, and a crushing sense of cultivated loneliness. There are no meaningful relationships—friendly, familial, or romantic ones—and no prospects, only a desire to escape, or to be more precise to be taken away under a set of specific circumstances. And of course there’s the nagging fear that this might actually be it for her.

This will never stop being ingenious.

What’s most interesting about Rey at this point, though, is her contradictions. As we later learn, she has lashed her sense of identity to the idea of being a temporarily abandoned child, and thus she’s forced herself to live a life of perpetual childhood, waiting for her parents to come back and pluck her from Jakku instead of moving on and carving out her own existence. In a very real sense, although her life has many outward marks of adulthood, she refuses to grow up, going as far as styling herself after her former childhood self and naively asserting her belief that of course putting her life on hold and spending it stuck and waiting is eventually going to be rewarded.

At the same time, though, there are already some cracks in the childish façade that allow us to see the real person beneath—someone with a strong sense of right vs. wrong, to the point where she’s willing to put herself in danger and accept hardships on behalf of others. But her willingness to engage in conflict without a second thought can also be read as underlying anger issues stemming from her sense of abandonment, and a sign that a certain jaded bitterness may have already set in, as evidenced by her unwillingness to deal with BB-8, a non-familial entity, as a friend after saving him.

All of this creates a character who’s barely holding it together, someone bursting out of the childlike costume they’ve constructed for themselves, their mask about to disintegrate and reveal a deeply broken person underneath; a little girl who’s too busy looking into the past instead of living in the present, who doesn’t see herself as an agent in her own story but as someone who’s given meaning by others.

In other words, Rey’s challenge at the beginning of ST is to confront the truths and issues she doesn’t want to face, destroy her shell, and emerge into adulthood as a fully-realized woman.

I hope you enjoyed this bit of psychology as much as I did back in 2015 because it’s the last one she’s going to get.

The moment the movie dies.

From the second Rey meets Finn, she leaves TFA as an agent who shapes the story by her own psychology and development, and spends the rest of the runtime as a passive object that’s dragged along by the plot while having no effect on it, instead being jostled around by the actions of others. Up until the final fight, Rey:

runs away from an enemy she never engaged, who means nothing to her and she nothing to them;

is ambushed by a guy and his pet fuzzball, neither of whom she’s ever met;

is forced into defensive action by a bunch of gangsters who, yet again, have nothing to do with her or her journey;

accidentally releases a convenient plot device she didn’t intend to release. This doesn’t amount to anything;

is introduced to a map she didn’t search for, leading to a person she doesn’t know, has no connection to, and no reason to be interested in;

ends up on a planet she didn’t know about and had no plan to visit;

has her inner conflict verbalized to her by discount Yoda;

has her lights punched out and is bridal carried by the galaxy’s most try-hard Bad Boy Who Ever Baddied for unintentionally viewing the central McGuffin of a storyline that has nothing to do with her or her character conflict;

gets interrogated by an admittedly gorgeous mop of hair which triggers her Force powers, somehow. She never reflects on this;

gets saved by the screenwriter by using a Force power she had no reason to suspect existed.

Only then does she wake up from her slumber to:

fight Kylo Ren in order to protect the unconscious Finn, a type of action she’s performed twice already in regards to BB-8 and thus is nothing new for her;

and finally, having failed to reflect on being Force sensitive or express an ounce of political opinion, join the Resistance for some reason and decide to take on the responsibility of finding Luke Skywalker, a person who still means nothing to her on any level.

Simply put, Rey spends the majority of the movie treading water and then being catapulted into a position the screenwriters want her in, without first sending her on a journey which would bring her to the Resistance and Luke as a natural result of her own choices and actions, not of a series of plot contrivances.

This is further made worse by the fact that Rey’s psychology from the start of TFA when she was still in that wonderful character study test tube? Yeah, it stops existing. Or rather it stops dictating her actions and behaviour. Gone is her unwillingness to permanently entangle herself in the affairs of others and only doing so after a reluctant flare-up of empathy. Now she’s a good sport who’s just happy to be included, guys! There’s also this slight problem where her background leaves no marks on her. She has no interpersonal problems, no trust issues, no bitterness, no jadedness, no sense of abandonment, she isn’t clingy or stand-offish like most people with her experiences would. There’s only the face of childlike joy as she simply goes along for the ride because the movie needs to happen.

And these checks J.J. signed in TFA? They get cashed in TLJ where Rian Johnson is asked to wave his arms and work with a character who’s in a situation she has no internal reason to be in. As a result, instead of having a solid, meaty foundation to examine why Rey has immediately latched onto the Resistance and Jedi after spending so long defining herself through her parents and having no personal or ideological reason to be interested in either, we’re just asked to nod along and pretend that Rey being so deeply invested in any of this makes sense and isn’t worrying in the slightest. And then comes the end where any notion of moral complexity is flushed down the toilet as Rey pulls a Kylo and instead of incorporating what she’s learned into a new worldview and altering her journey, she digs in her heels and returns to the Resistance as, sigh, the last Jedi while, yet again, never examining her attachment to either. The found family trope is awesome, guys, let’s not question it.

So I must admit to not really understanding where this outrage about Rey being locked in permanent childhood by the end of TROS is coming from. She’s never stopped being a child. The sequel trilogy has always preferred to view her as a pure ray of sunshine (pun very vomit-inducingly intended) and an embodiment of good that’s free of internal conflict; a figurative representation of a child who’s spent the movies in a state of arrested development (a few unmotivated moments in TLJ being a notable exception), cycling through different parental figures until she’s finally gotten it right and can now restart her childhood, new and improved.

You may call it yucky but I don’t see how it’s surprising.

[ialreadyreadthatfanfic]

So I saw the new Star Wars movie

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT PEOPLE

First off: I went to a marathon of the whole sequel trilogy with my friends, and I’m glad that I did, because I forgot A LOT.

Mostly how many good memes there were born out of those films.

The Force Awakens evoked pretty much the same feeling it did during the first watching: it’s a good, enjoyable beginning, with a lot of hooks, not a lot of risks, a bit too much resemblance to the original trilogy, but on the whole a promising start.

The Last Jedi, on the other hand. I forgot how effectively this movie killed my interest in Star Wars for a long, long while. The plot is a mess. Most of the characters are unlikeable, because the idiot balls they’re holding are too big to get past them. Main offenders are: Poe, Hondo, Finn and Rose. The unfortunate Casino subplot, which is tiring. The fact that whoever wrote Rose’s character arc (or rather didn’t bother to write it) did the actress massive disservice, because the way Rose “saves” Finn at the last minute is, frankly, rage inducing and makes her character devoid of any shred of consistency. I have a lot of other complaints about this movie, but the storylines not making sense are a common theme, so let’s not rehash the familiar arguments.

Now, onto the main event.

The Rise of the Skywalker was… mostly okay.

For me personally, it would be hard to match the disappointment of TLJ, so this worked to lift the sequel ROTS up. I went in pretty much unspoiled, actually! I heard the “oh they plan to bring Palpatine back” thing back when the first teaser/trailer was released. But after that nothing more.

Number one: Leia.

It’s such a shame that Carrie Fisher didn’t get to act in this movie. There are several scenes with Leia mentoring Rey, but it is obvious the filmmakers went as far as they could with the footage they had available, but could go no further. Some scenes with Luke and Han (Han especially) are obviously done with Mark and Harrison standing in for Carrie.

Number two: Palpatine and the theme of Rey’s legacy.

This is where the lack of overall plan for the sequel trilogy, and subsequent lack of proper foreshadowing in TFA and TLJ hurts the most, probably. So Rey is revealed to be Palpatine’s granddaughter. Her parents chose to abandon her for her own safety and were killed when they refused to give up her location. Okay, that’s interesting backstory. Sadly, after the WHO ARE REY PARENTS… PERHAPS SOMEONE WE KNOW and the OMG PLOT TWIST SHE’S NO ONE AND HE PARENTS DIDN’T CARE FOR HER AT ALL, the third plot twist gets me merely to roll my eyes and sigh heavily. I wish dearly there was more time to develop this storyline. It’s wasn’t ENTIRELY bad, but the whole thing has this feel of “uhhh people were really pissed off after the last one… what can we do to fix it?? Oh shit we kinda killed Snoke too and there is Big Bad Villain missing bc we want to redeem Kylo… you know what?? Palpatine was the big bad in prequels AND in the original… let’s have a dramatic reveal how it was him all along. It will nicely bring the story back full circle, you know” and so they did just that.

Nr two subsection A: the whole Sith legacy/Final Order thing was interesting, but again: too little time to develop it. It should have been tied into First Order and Snoke in previous movies… and the less said about Deus Ex Machina Sith Fleet in which every ship has a planet-killing weapon on board the better. Just don’t thing about it too much PLEASE.

Conclusion: Snoke was Palpatine’s test tube baby experiment? That actually explains a lot…

Number three: redemption of Ben Solo.

Honestly, this one? Is actually a net positive for me! I had so little patience for Kylo Ren as a villain that redemption storyline actually made me like Ben Solo in the last part of the movie (AT LAST). And while two first movies had me uninterested in Reylo to the point of irritation at its prevalence, the last movie actually made me ship it a little! Maybe I’m a sucker for redemption. Maybe I don’t have patience for characters who themselves have no idea why are they doing what are they doing and they kinda maybe might not want to do it but continue to do it because it’s easier than giving it up aaand you get the picture how I saw Kylo Ren. And how glad I’m that Ben Solo at the end got to move past this stage of his character.

Also, the Reylo Force Skype was strong in this one. And how!

Number four: Finn and the Stormtroopers deserters.

Again, this should have been in TLJ. They should have taken this whole storyline about Finn meeting other deserters from First Order out of sequel ROTS and replaced the goddamn casino thing with it in TLJ. Sadly, they only thought of putting it in the script once the fanbase got pissed off about lack of Finn’s character development/his BACKWARDS character development in TLJ.

Consequently, Rose was sidelined. On one hand, it’s a shame. On the other, I’m a bit relieved; after the mess they made of her arc in TLJ, there was no salvaging it. It’s better to let the actress have a few scenes to note that she didn’t just disappear from the plot, but don’t try to aggressively resurrect her plot and make an even bigger mess.

The unintentionally hilarious thing about this point: Finn suddenly comes across as such Casanova. Here’s Rose! Here’s Stormtrooper deserter lady! (sorry, I forgot her name). Here’s a sly hint that he might have feelings for Rey!! Pick a girl, for god’s sake!!!

Nr four subsection A: Poe also got an old flame lady Who Happens To Help Our Heroes. Just so you know that he’s definitely into ladies, you know, just a heterosexual dude… The relationship in the movie is handled actually pretty well – they’re old flames and while Poe wants to rekindle the relationship, the lady is ultimately like “nope” and the Poe does “aw” face and moves on, so pretty classy overall. Just in the context of Finnpoe and great chemistry they had in the first movie? This is such a shame.

Number five: Poe in charge and the Resistance thing.

Poe’s storyline in The Last Jedi totally ruined this for me, sorry. I couldn’t even get all that invested.

Also, it feels at times like the movie wants to have Poe taking up Leia’s legacy, Rey taking up Leia’s legacy, Ben taking up his mother’s legacy and you know what? Leia’s legacy is big. There’s definitely enough to go around! TOO BAD THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TIME IN THE MOVIE TO SHOW ALL THIS PROPERLY YOU KNOW GOD I WISH THERE WAS MORE ABOUT LEIA’S JEDI TRAINING

Number six: the ending.

Rey and Ben fighting together – I was actually finally sold on Reylo at this point. Their fight together in TLJ against Snoke’s guards was pretty cool (one of few good things in THAT movie), and here their shared fight against Palpatine/Knights of Ren (?) was also great.

Palpatine shooting the force lighting into the sky to disable the whole Rebel fleet and friends apparently got someone in the cinema to go “seriously?!” out loud, as my friends report. Enough said.

Rey dying and Ben trying to bring her back to life: this part actually got me really excited. For a moment there I thought that Ben would fail, and the force ghost Anakin would show up to Deliver Some Hard Earned Wisdom About Bringing People Back To Life And How You Can’t Do It and this would be a very satisfying ending to the whole “Ben/Kylo tries to be Just Like Grandpa Vader” storyline. Well, that didn’t happen.

The fact that Ben brough Rey back, then kissed her passionately, and then IMMEDIATELY KEELED OVER DEAD got the whole theatre laughing (me included). Again, enough said.

The “Galaxy Shows Up To Help Out BC The Resistance Asked Twice And They Felt Bad After Ignoring The First Call”: I got it. You want your feel good moment here. Look how happy ending is when the people of galaxy unite together, aww. Sadly, when you think about it for a two seconds more, this is such a bullshit and disservice to Leia, because the implication is that they didn’t pick up when LEIA was calling, but decided to help after all when LANDO asked… What??? Go fuck yourselves.

The ending-ending was ok. Rey, Finn and Poe hugged (aww!). Two ladies kissing in that 0.5 sec long shot are all Disney needs to show how open-minded they are*. That one kiss with Ben was apparently enough to marry Rey into the family, she’s a Skywalker now. Leia and Luke look approvingly on as they force ghost along, that’s nice.

At least people who wanted Rey to have a double blade got what they wanted in the end.

 *So it’s actually genuinely good that scenes like these ARE put into cashcow franchises like Star Wars, but I’m hesitant to give Disney too much credit. Knowing them, they’ll just shove one blink-and-miss-it scene in all their movie and claim that’s comprehensive proof of their supportive approach to alternate lifestyles.