#thank god he has such good jokes and gaffs in here <- guy who has to navigate the healthnet website today ToT

[tinyplanetss]

thanks king

(brian david gilbert posted a half-hour long video explaining the basics of navigating privatized american health insurance, which is actually pretty helpful for overcoming the hurdle of acronyms and a terrifying start into that whole deep dive)

[closetofanxiety]

Fyter Fest: SUCCESS

I liked this show a lot! Not everything was to my taste, but there was plenty to enjoy. Briefly:

* The Cody vs. Darby Allin match was one of the best wrestling matches I’ve seen in 2019. The crowd was a little subdued for long stretches of it, perhaps being accustomed to more of a flashy style, but I loved the whole thing. Cody, who liked like a giant compared to Allin, was trying to wrestle and old-school (dare I say, Southern) style match, while Allin was trying to shift it to a more familiar indie style, which would be to his advantage. It was a genuine collision of two different approaches to wrestling, and it worked incredibly well. Darby took at least two completely insane bumps I’ve never seen anyone do, and after one of them, Cody contemptuously did push-ups in the ring. THAT’S GOOD OLD SCHOOL VILLAINY. I also loved that this was a time-limit draw, another old school story device. Neither guy lost any face in the match, and the crowd was still excited by the end, which they timed very well (Cody hit his finisher with two seconds left, and thus couldn’t get the three-count). Cody, derided in his initial indie run as “The Three-Star General” for his supposedly pedestrian matches, has stolen the show on both AEW events so far. 

* I did not love the post-match run-in by Shawn Spears! Without getting into any of the piping hot takes about unprotected chair shots, I thought it pulled focus from the great wrestling match that just happened, with Darby Allin being turned into kind of an afterthought. I get that they need to advance storylines and right now they don’t have weekly TV to do that, but this felt almost Russo-esque. 

* The Moxley-Janela match was really good! Going into it, I wondered how much different an AEW hardcore match was going to be from the WWE template. Like, would they go full indie and have shopping carts and pizza graters and barbecue skewers? The answer is no: we didn’t see any items in this match that would be outside the bounds of a WWE match (except maybe the barbed wire), but it was how the two wrestlers used them that made the difference. The barbed wire spots were wince-inducing without being truly gruesome, the tables were swiftly destroyed, and the barefoot thumbtacks spot at the end was a stroke of sadistic genius. What a first match for Moxley in AEW!

* The women’s triple threat match was a little sloppy at parts, but the whole thing was redeemed by Nyla Rose totally playing against type down the stretch and hitting a truly insane flying guillotine knee drop from the top turnbuckle. She then snapped off a truly brutal German suplex to solidify her status as the early badass of AEW. Yuka Sakazaki and Riho looked a little out of step a few times, but mostly they did well in the role of competitors who also have to compete against the monster opponent. 

* One thing AEW has managed to do well so far is put on three and four-way matches that don’t get bogged down the way they do so often in other companies. You know: there’s a three-way match and invariably one person spends most of it outside the ring, effectively turning into a two-person match with occasional run-ins. In the women’s match and in the four-way, AEW’s agents managed to produce matches that actually felt like all the competitors were involved throughout the course of the contests. The four-way was particularly good, and should go a fair distance toward making Jungle Boy a breakout star in the company. He’s got a great look, he’s got unique offense, and his friendship with giant dinosaur man Luchasaurus is the stuff of a marketer’s dreams. 

* The six-man tag was fine. I know this is going to sound like I’m complaining that a buffet is too good, but I think I’m full up on matches pitting the Young Bucks against the Lucha Bros for a while. They’re fun, they involve incredible athleticism and exhibitions of timing and skill, but you know what to expect. The bright spot of the match for me was the underappreciated luchador Laredo Kid, who got a lot of quality time as the Lucha Bros’ partner. 

* I really did not like the pre-show. The three-way tag match was very good, and I was really happy to see people online reacting with astonishment at Private Party. Those guys are fantastic, and they’re so young. They’re only going to get better. Everything after that match was extremely not my thing. I appreciate they’re trying to do something different with the comedy, and it’s going to be important for them to have something that connects with non-wrestling fans or wrestling-curious fans who aren’t going to want to watch two hours of matches every week. And I certainly don’t expect a company that has two shows under its belt to have a foolproof formula in place. But if they’re going to do comedy, they should really hire actual comedy writers, as much as the idea of writers has become a taboo in non-WWE wrestling. The jokes were flat and most of them centered around the Fyre Fest documentaries, which are really yesterday’s news at this point. 

* The librarian thing really died a death with the crowd. I don’t watch Being the Elite or The Road to, so I missed the explanation for this gimmick, but it does not come across well. The constant shushing is so bad it feels almost avant-garde after a while, like it’s actively confrontational with the audience over our expectations for a wrestling show. Then Leva Bates cut a heel promo in defense of books and I wanted to check out. Her match with Allie was decent for a match on a Shine midcard, but Leva’s limitations as a wrestler are pretty much what they’ve always been. The match ended with a totally blown spot that was supposed to be the pay off for the whole “the librarians love books” thing. Terrible.

* I hated the last pre-show match. Every once in a while, you’ll see a super local indie show where one of the sponsors gets to “wrestle,” usually meaning the crowd is treated to the owner of a car dealership standing on the apron for most of a tag match, until getting the chance to throw a weak clothesline and cover a hated midcard baddie for the three count. AEW, though, decided they should do that same thing but with the non-wrestler sponsor being put in a 10-minute hardcore match. I’m sure some people liked this. I am not among them. This match inadvertently featured the gnarliest spot of the night (until the Darby Allin coffin drop onto the edge of the apron JESUS DARBY WHAT ARE YOU THINKING DO YOU WANT TO DIE YOU HAVE A LOVING SLEAZY WEIRDO SPOUSE PLEASE THINK OF HER) when the fighting games convention organizer guy did a German suplex that dumped Nakazawa directly on his neck. Thank God Japanese wrestling training involves constant neck bridges! This is why super local indies only let the sponsor guys throw a weak clothesline: because they know that non-wrestlers doing wrestling moves endangers everyone’s safety. 

* Other things: Commentary seemed to be markedly better for the most part, thanks to the addition of “Goldenboy” who might be a video game person? (sorry video game people I am no use here) ... JR is really straying into Grampa Gaffes territory with his praise of “Oriental” wrestlers and blurting out that the women wrestlers all seem like his daughters ... the camera direction still needs work, with the director missing a number of big spots ... Kenny Omega running in to pummel Moxley after the final match was good stuff ... the Super Smash Brothers’ “Dark Order” thing is treading perilously close to Black Scorpion territory ... this was just shy of four hours, counting the pre-show, and I found myself wanting more when it was over ... a friend was over watching with me and we found ourselves yelling at the screen in a way we haven’t done with televised wrestling in a long time