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#thank you to my bestie for helping me as alwaysss!
a-dauntless-daffodil · 3 months
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duties of the local hotel manager lesbian, plus one very desperate snake man
Sir Pentious: "PLEAAASSSSSE!!!"
Vaggie: "Ugh.” (reading clipboard) “Not now."
Sir Pentious: "PLEASSSE HELP ME!"
Vaggie: "I'm busy."
Sir Pentious: "PLEASSSSe? I will do anything! I, ah, I will do ALL the THINGSSS!!"
Vaggie: "I'm not giving you dance lessons! Do you know what my job here is?"
Sir Pentious: "YES! You are the expert in the loving of women!!"
Vaggie: "I'm hotel manager, and it's one woman singular-"
Vaggie: "Hostia! Let go!"
Sir Pentious: (clinging to her ankles) "I AM BEGGING YOU!"
Vaggie: "And what did I just say? No!"
Sir Pentious: "Help me, purple female! You're my only hope!!"
Vaggie: "Stop calling me that." (starts walks)
Sir Pentious: (still clinging) (getting dragging) "Forgive me! I will call you anything you want, anything you desssire!"
Vaggie: (glaring) (dragging him) "How 'bout my name."
Sir Pentious: "Your... name??"
Vaggie: "That thing I have that no one other than Charlie ever bothers to use-"
Vaggie: -just like the fucking hotel doormat."
Vaggie: "Alright WHO TRACKED BLOOD AND GUTS IN HERE AGAIN!?"
Charlie: (distant) "Not it!"
Sir Pentious: "I'm alssso innocssssent!"
Vaggie: (at charlie)"I know it wasn't you, sweetie! You like the brushy sound the mat makes too much NOT to use it." (at pentious) "And no shit it wasn't you, Pentious. You don't have legs."
Sir Pentious: "And I alwaysss wipe my tail!"
Charlie: "Speaking of wiping, can we add some more disinfectant to the shopping list? I think I'm about to use all ours up..."
Vaggie: "Sure thing. Use it up on what though?"
Charlie: "We-lll..."
Angel Dust: "Hey don't look at me like that, Cheery'O! Not my fault ya walked in without knocking first!"
Charlie: "Angel." (deep breath) "The library is a common area..."
Angel Dust: "Any common area can be a CUMming area if ya jerk at it hard enough~"
Charlie: "VAGGIEEEE! Disinfectant?!"
Vaggie: "On it." (scribbling on clipboard) "No problem."
Sir Pentious: "SSORDID SSSALASCIOUSS SPIDER! Sssee? Aren't I a better guessst than he isss? Perhapss dessserving of one, ssssmall favor?? I do not befoul the hotel with my bedroom bodily fluidsss!"
Vaggie: "No, you just keep blowing holes in it."
Angel Dust: "Ohhhh! Blowing!"
Sir Pentious: "Aha! Not thiss week I haven't!!!"
Charlie: "Angel, not that I don't appreciate the help but, could you maybe not lounge right on the shelf I'm trying to look through-?"
Vaggie: "Really? No major property damage in seven whole days?"
Angel Dust: "I'm finding the perfect book for ya, Charlie chip. Here, look!"
Sir Pentious: "Oh ah, welll, there might be a sssmall hole sssomewhere.."
Charlie: "...you know Moby Dick is about a whale, right?"
Vaggie: "I guess it's still improvement."
Angel Dust: "And gaaaaaay shit yeah."
Charlie: "I'm kinda looking for a bedtime story..."
Sir Pentious: "Improvement yes exsssactly! Jussst has my DANSSCING could be improved!"
Angel Dust: "Two dudes share a bed an' everything in this and ya share one with Vaggity Fair. Perfect fit, I tell ya."
Vaggie: (groaning) "Not this again...."
Charlie: "...I guess.. she does like nautical things like ships..."
Charlie: ".. hey why are some pages stuck together OH ANGEL DUST EW!"
Angel Dust: "That's a five star review right there ain't it?"
Charlie: "I mean I GUESS so but UGH!"
Vaggie: "Charlie? Content warning for the book- the whale kills Ahab at the end."
Charlie: "He WHAT!? No!"
(thump)
Charlie: "BUT- but they're FRIENDS! BESTIES!"
Vaggie: "Not when your dad isn't reading the story sweetie, sorry."
Charlie: "Nooooooo...!"
Angel Dust: "Eh, nothin' some porn without plot fic can't fix. You can be the whale mermaid, V Gal can be the broody crazy ship captain, an' by the third paragraph someone's getting harpooned reeeeeal good and deeep-"
Charlie: "Stop helping me, please."
Angel Dust: "Nah. I'm too booored. Ya place is booooring, Charlie chip."
Sir Pentious: "I disssagreee! WHOLEHEARTEDLY!"
Charlie: "Thanks, Pen!"
Sir Pentious: "YOU ARE MOSSST WELCOME!"
Sir Pentious: (stares up at vaggie hopefully) (tail wagging)
Vaggie: "Pentious...." (sigh)
Vaggie: "Look. How the fuck do you even expect me to teach you dancing stuff when all you have is a tail? Do I look like I know how to do tail dances?"
Sir Pentious: "I DO NOT KNOW! I have no expertissssse in dancssssing! That issss why I sssso dessssperately require your help, oh wissssse and fearful hotel manager!!"
Vaggie: "Still not my name."
Sir Pentious: "PLEEEEEEEEESE-"
Vaggie: "Hold that thought. TO THE OTHER NON-CHARLIE IDIOTS LIVING HERE! Why won't you use the fucking doormat? What the fuck kind of first impression are you trying to make the hotel have!?"
Husk: (slumped over bar) "If we were aiming for a fucking honest impression, we'd need more blood and shit in this place."
Niffty: "Ooooh~" (puts two bugs and some ice in cocktail shaker and shakes) "Blooood."
Husk: "Case in fucking point you little creep."
Niffty: (GIGGLES)
Sir Pentious: "I! I think thisss isss a fine and upssstanding essstablissshment!!"
Husk: "Then you're a dumbass."
Sir Pentious: (HISS) "Ssslander! I DO NOT EVEN HAVE AN ASSSS!"
Vaggie: "Ignore him. Go back to sleeping off the hangover, Husk. You're still shit company right now."
Husk: (grumbles) (curls up under wing)
Niffty: (drapes washcloth over him and pulls out needle) "Blooood..?"
Vaggie: "No Niffty, whoever did this should deal with it this time. You go, uhhh- go catch and juice some more cockroaches or something-"
Angel Dust: "DID YA SAY JUICY COCK-"
Vaggie: "ROACHES YOU MORON! Bugs! Small unsexy creepy crawlies! And so help me you'd BETTER be unsexily helping Charlie decontaminate the library or I sWEAR-!"
Vaggie: "Wait I know those stupid dancing shoe tracks- maldita sea-!"
Vaggie: "ALASTOR!"
Alastor: (oozing from shadows) "Yeeees~?"
Vaggie: "These your shoe marks?"
Alastor: "Indeed they are! And I am TOUCHED you know me so well!"
Vaggie: "Wipe your feet next time. Or do I need to grab you by the scruff of your neck and rub your face in the mess you've made?"
Alastor: "Oh that won't be necessary my dear, even if you WERE capable of it!"
Vaggie: "So you know how to use a doormat?"
Alastor: "Of course~ I am QUITE skilled-"
Vaggie: "Great. Then wipe your feet."
Alastor: "..Now?"
Vaggie: "Now."
Alastor: "......"
Sir Pentious: (tugging at his pants leg) "Do asss sssshe ssasys, pleasse! I need her in a good mood!"
Alastor: "Hm..."
Alastor: (steps out of each and onto the mat) (whips shoes)
Alastor: "Satisfied?"
Vaggie: "Getting there. Now clean up your mess before Niffty has to."
Alastor: "Oh I wouldn't want to DEPRIVE her! All that fresh blood and viscera? You know how much she adores-"
Vaggie: "Then she can go out and clean the streets of hell in her free time for all I care but in this hotel she is not gonna waste her time picking up after you just because you can't be bothered to show her, or the HOTEL, a little fucking respect. You clean this up. Got it?"
Alastor: "You know, my dear." (shadows looming) "I'm not entirely certain you yourself 'get' wHo you ArE tALkINg TO....."
Sir Pentious: "AHHH!" (cowers behind vaggie) "SSSAVE ME MOTH WOMAN!"
Vaggie: (at alastor) "Ohh. Terrifying."
Vaggie: (at pentious) "Also not my name."
Vaggie: (at charlie) "Charlie!"
Charlie: (distracted) "Listen to Vaggie, Alastor! She's hotel manager for a reason- Oh EW what oh shit-"
(cRASH)
Vaggie: "Babe?"
Charlie: "I'm okay, I'm fine!!! We didn't need that glass cabinet anyway, not after what Angel Dust did all over it yesterday!"
Angel Dust: "SIX TIMES bab-y!"
Vaggie: "I don't want to know." (points at alastor) "You heard her."
Alastor: "I.. did."
Vaggie: "Then get cleaning."
Alastor: (sweeping bow as shadows start cleaning) "My pleasure my dear! Anything to stave off the inevitable FAILURE of this quaint little venture and so prolong your DAILY SUFFERING~"
Vaggie: (checking clipboard) "Uh-huh whatever."
Vaggie: (heads for door) (stops)
Vaggie: "Pentious. Let. GO."
Sir Pentious: "But-! Danssscing???"
Vaggie: "No."
Sir Pentious: (wailing) "Mercy, spear wielder! Take pity on meeeee!!!!!"
Vaggie: "Spear wielder? Seriously? Are you allergic to my name?"
Sir Pentious: "H-how could anyone be have an adverssse reaction to ssssomething sssso marvelousss ass-"
Vaggie: (crosses arms) "Then say it."
Sir Pentious: "Errr..... it???"
Vaggie: "My name."
Sir Pentious: "Oh! OH YESSS your NAME of coursssse!! Which issss lovely, but ah. Ah- that would be too- it would be too INFORMAL! Yesss! I am not worthy!"
Vaggie: "You don't know what my name is do you."
Sir Pentious: "I DO!!! Obviousssly!!"
Vaggie: "Then say it."
Sir Pentious: "Um..."
Vaggie: "Say my name, one time, and I'll pencil you in later for dancing tips."
Sir Pentious: "......that'ssss very.. generoussss... yesss, thank you...."
Sir Pentious: "...Erm...."
Sir Pentious: "....Miss... Morningsstar'ssss mate?"
Husk: (SNORTS)
Alastor: "Well I DO suppose that one COULD say~"
Vaggie: "I'm leaving." (pries pentious off) "Don't follow me."
Sir Pentious: "AH NO! NO I KNOW IT!!! Your name isss- VAGELISS!"
Vaggie: "Charlie? I'm heading out now, okay babe?"
Sir Pentious: "V- VIGILANTY???"
Charlie: "Okay! Love you, kissing you, missing you already! Be safe!!"
Sir Pentious: "VIRGINA! No ah, no wait-"
Vaggie: (blows kiss in charlie's direction) "Love you too sweetie~"
Sir Pentious: "You are VIRGINITY!!!!"
Husk: "HA."
Angel Dust: "Is she?!"
Charlie: "Noooope!"
Vaggie: "My name's a lot less ironic than that. Life didn't shit on me that hard." (heading out the door)
Sir Pentious: "NooooOOOOO!" (wiggling after her)
Sir Pentious: "Sssweet lesssbian, ssspare me! I would be on my kneesss if I had any! SSCION OF SSSSSAPPHO I IMPORE YOU- APHRODITE HASSS SSSTRIKEN ME WITH LONGING FOR A PYROTECHNIC HAZZZARD!!!!"
Vaggie: (stops)
A bug: (scurries by frantically) (pursued by cackling niffy)
Vaggie: "...you know Sappho's stuff?"
Sir Pentious: "Yesss? Ssshe isss, one of the greatessst loversss of women in hissstory! Asss a fellow lover of women, I admire her greatly!!"
Charlie: "Oh my dad- my dad and mom did to!!! Neat!"
Vaggie: "Hmm. I... guess..."
Sir Pentious: (eyes huge) "You, guesssss..?"
Vaggie: "Fine. I'll trade help with the shopping bags for a couple of dance lessons tonight. Fair?"
Sir Pentious: "Yess? YESSS! Mossst fair!" (claps hands) "MINIONS-!"
Vaggie: "No minions. You want the lessons you carry the bags."
Sir Pentious: "Ma'am!" (salutes) "My noodlessssque armsss are at your sssservissce!"
Vaggie: "I guess they're also gonna be what we mainly focus on in dancing."
Sir Pentious: "Oh- isss the bag carrying, for practicess then??"
Vaggie: (flexing shoulders) (wincing) "Uh, sure."
Sir Pentious: "P-practicesss for dipping my dansssce partner, or for getting dipped???"
Vaggie: "Whatever floats your boat. Ship. Whatever."
Sir Pentious: "Then I sssshall do my besst! Anything for HER!!"
Vaggie: "That's the woman-loving spirit."
Sir Pentious: "Ssssweet victory ssshall be mine at lassst! By the way, what ISSS your name?"
Vaggie: "You were close. It's very gay."
Sir Pentious: "You are miss Very Gay???"
Vaggie: "These days? Yeah. I sure am."
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fixedfour · 2 years
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Hiii! Thanks for your answer and for sharing the video, I’ll for sure watch it later today! How do I send my chart for to you to see? I would love some insights! - ✨ anon
bestie yes!! i love helping others find out about their charts!! 💌
i just realized i never have submissions on, but they are now! 😌 i'm not an expert by any means, but i'm alwaysss excited to read charts when i can!!
also, the moon was in uttara bhadrapada not long ago (this last wednesday/thursday) and it made me think of you!!
moon+moon transits are so cute to me, but also.. the tears/sensitiviy.. LOL (speaking as a cancer moon)
if you were able to watch the video, what did you think?? i know its sooo much info but!!
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