#thanks archer for making one single comment that triggered this whole thought process in my head bc this hurts

[jemmo]

ok so something @ohmpatwat said in this post got me thinking about something i didn't need to think about and has now broken me. and it was this; 'i assume he (wai) asked to join the crew again to execute his disgusting plan'.

i hate this. bc it never even clicked before why wai got to be up there. and he's wearing the headset and everything and in the preview you see him doing stuff on stage and with the headset again. so clearly he's rejoined the play despite pulling the asshole move of manipulating pran into taking on his work. and that wasnt just a 'can you help out while i'm practicing rugby', no, he said he quit. and the fact that he's joined again just to carry out his little master plan is disgusting.

but the thing is, is that after hearing pran getting dragged back into the play, thats probably one of the reasons pat ultimately took the role as well. not only did he want to be pran's knight in shining armour and help him out, he probably saw the play, as he said, as a chance to be around pran more. and with wai quitting the play and pran's other friends from the sounds of things not being hugely involved either, i kinda imagined that they both saw the play, the stage, the rehearsals as a safe space, free of pran's friends. instead, they're surrounded by people that dont know, or if they do dont care about the rivalry, they're not any part of it, and therefore pat and pran can be around each other, talk to each other, exist around each other without someone flying off the handle. in a way, its kinda like when they were in high school. again, they have a place free of feuds and fighting where they can be comfortable. and they get to flirt on that stage so so much and its adorable and so important bc, even if in a small way, they can express their affection in public, with people around, just as any normal couple can.

in that way, i love how the stage is kinda literal, bc the pat and pran scenes that take place there are very much scenes that could happen in the kwan and riam play itself. its them two flirting and being sweet, but also them two arguing about people finding out and how they feel about having to hide and ultimately making up and developing their relationship and trying to move forward. its all stuff that i imagine happens in the kwan and riam play. and you see that perfectly in the scene where pat is basically making up with pran through the lines from the play. its like they sync up on that stage, and thats why both the play as an entity and the literal stage itself provide this feeling of safety for pat and pran that allows them to be more free.

and thats why i hate it the most that wai intruded on that space purposefully and took that place away from them. he took this space of safety and exposed it to everyone, and thats plain cruel. he took advantage of the fact they were letting their guards down for just a moment to expose them to the world. and i hate the message that that gives to pat and pran, that nowhere is safe, nowhere comfortable, nowhere is free of judgement, as if they need to be reminded for the billionth time that they cant navigate this relationship without everyones eyes on them, and everyone's opinions hurtled at them. bc the play was just their thing, they worked together and enjoyed the work they were doing, they hung out there, they talked their, they travelled to and from their together. it was something they could finally do together and wai just went and destroyed it.

and i hate even even more that it cruely mirrors the christmas concert, where again pat and pran felt safe and secure, felt they could be around each other, enjoy their passion together, work on a song together, only for that too to be taken from them. i hate that it sets a precedent in their minds that they cant allow themselves to be too happy, bc when they're too happy, when they feel too comfortable and too relaxed and too free, thats when everything will always come crashing down. it happened in high school and its happening now, history keeps repeating itself and it feels horribly unavoidable and inevitable and that breaks me.