linamariap

[giish]

[withoneheadlight]

ok i saw this cap of zoë kravitz in hf and she's got such a dreamy expression, she looks so deeply self-absorbed and infatuated by whatever she's imagining and those lines. and i couldn't stop picturing billy exactly like that for days so,

,

There’s a pretty unusual sound coming off the house when Max comes back home, that summer afternoon.

Full volume. Walls shaking. And she quietly walks to the source of the sound, holding back her breath right in front of Billy's room because, there's this second sound? Stranger and way more unsettling and Max's not sure-sure at first but then Steve Perry’s voice takes off and Billy’s follows it and then he's like, singing along and. Well. Max did know Billy liked Journey but not like, their 'stuff for pussies' but uhm, he does, apparently. Rasps his voice all the way through ‘Faithfully’. Kind of, sighs. Longingly? When it ends? But pfff, ok, big brothers are weird. Definitely weirder after being possessed and then kind of resurrected. Even if it's in a good-weird way but, whatever. So Max's just about to sneak to her room, dutifully rolling her eyes, steps muffled by the first chords of 'Edge of the blade' when―

Click. Click. Billy stops the tape. Click. Takes it out. Tap. Tap. Click. Puts on― Billy puts. On,

Heaven.

Bryan Adams’ Heaven.

And Max―

Being a younger sister is a meticulous kind of full-time, private detective job. You gotta learn how the person you’ve been watching so carefully for years and years works. Hafta develop some sort of―sense about your target. And Billy’s been—un-Billy-like? These past two months. Smiling more. Telling more jokes. Playing ‘You shook me all night long’ in a loop on their drive to school and back, not complaining at all but even joining when’s Max who can’t help but sing along so.

So. She retraces her steps. Knocks. Takes the distracted grunt she gets as a ‘Yeahyeah, c’mon in c’mon in’ and,

Creak. Creak. ‘―baby you’re all that I want’

“Billy?”

Billy’s sitting cross-legged on the floor. Radio close to his knees. Cassettes scattered everywhere. Piles and piles of breakwater surrounding Billy’s old, rusty beacon of sound. He’s reading through the song-list of one of the tapes, a smoke locked on the corner of his mouth, bouncing up and down with every little, absent suck he takes, and he looks. He looks―

Self-absorbed and even. Relaxed. Happy. Like whatever he’s thinking about right now is actually carrying his thoughts away to fucking heaven.

“Ehh”

“Uh-hu?”

‘When you’re lying here in my arms!’

“Billy are you. What―” ‘I'm findin' it hard to believe. We're in heaven’ “What are you doing?”

But there’s this orbit around the sun and then there’s whatever one Billy's been spinning along with the last couple of months so he completely ignores her question. Shakes the tape on his left hand. Picks another one from the pile on his right. Asks her.

“Is Billy Ocean too much? ‘Cause I think it’s too much. But it kind of fits into what I'm trying to say so” he says, shrugs, looking up at Max and waiting for the answer of what she realizes was not really a question. Not at all. So she does her little sister job and just, nods “Right. That’s good. I think it’ll slide just nicely into Bruce Springsteen and―”

“Billy” Max insists, waiting for the charm of the third time to work. It doesn’t. Not really. But keeps Billy's eyes on her long enough to squeeze an “A mixtape?” And, uh. That’s what gets it on. The charm “Are you making a mixtape?”

“Uh?”

And it’s like Max just shook Billy out of a daydream. Ash plopping down from his cigarette as his lips try but can’t purse and Max― she’s good. She’s stellar at this detective thing. Recognizes an opening the moment she sees it, right there in front of her, frozen in the middle of shaking Billy Ocean and Bruce Springsteen in the air right before cocktailing them together. Shaken, not stirred, please. Max’s upgraded to James Bond-level just right now.

“You’re making a mixtape for someone”

“Oh-nonoMaxi―”

“But you didn’t have those tapes before. Not even in your secret stash”

“How do yo―?”

“Holy. ShIT. You’ve been listening to somebody else’s music” This is. Oh, God. This. Is. GOLD. Max gotta take a moment. Blink. Breathe. Process. Her hands move by themselves, palms spread toward Billy in a wait-a-minute kind of gesture except. Max’s gonna need way more than a minute for this “You’ve accepted a music recommendation”

“Maaaaax”

“Gosh, you’ve even listened to the tapes enough to. Make―”

“Max!”

“I just can’t believe it”

And Max was glad. Well. As glad as one can be. Bunch weeks ago. Her mom and Neil out for the day. Coming back home a little earlier than she usually does to hear those ugh. Those other noises. Happy screams. Again. After months and months of Billy being basically alone except for her and the party and Steve. And Max’s so glad, of course she is. But she’s also a little sister. And all this investigation work has a high, rightful purpose.

Make her big brother’s life a living. Hell.

“Oh my god, you must be so gone!” Max brings her hands to her mouth. Takes a deep, deep breath that’s more a poorly restrained giggle. Shoots her index at him “Is it Bon Jovi? What I’m seeing right there? Goddam, Billy are you in lo―”

Bam.

Bam. Bam!

The front door.

What a way to spoil the fun. Max doesn’t have time for this. She’s working.

“BILLY?” comes a voice from the other side “Billy are you in there?”

Steve.

Oh.

What a way to make the fun a hundred times better.

Bam.Bam.Bam!

She’s starting to move to get to the door, sinsonging “Well, I guess Steve’s gonna find out you’re so stupid in love you’re willingly listening to―” when she realizes Billy’s eyes have widened and he’s jerkingly trying to unfreeze, he’s mumbling something in around his already extinguished cigarette in the ways of “Can’t” and “Find out” and “Surprise” and “Fucking help me!” While literally trying to shove the huge mass of tapes under his bed, his tone like hurryhurryhurry!, like he would start gagging and throwing his lungs out at any given minute, so nervous he looks.

So Max doesn’t go for the door. Yet. She basks in the enjoyment.

“Oh, is it a secret romance or something?” She sighs happily, leaning against the doorframe instead. “‘Cause you look pretty worried”

Steve’s banging the door now, voice wavering a little as he asks-shouts “Billy? Billy answer me! Hey, bab―Are you ok?”

“Max, please” Billy begs. Begs. Crawling over to where a Madonna’s Like a virgin is laying with the tape looping slightly out “He really can’t find out”

“What? That you’re in lo-o-oh-oh-OH―”

Billy stops at the tone, right there on his knees. Spits his forgotten cig to the side. And in the instant it seems to take him to make up his mind they both can hear Steve shout “Ok. I know you’re in there!. I’m coming in now!!”

“Fuck! Yeah. I am. Ok?” he looks like he just realized he’s tripped. Blushes. “Making it, I mean”

BAM!

And Ohhhhhhh.

Zero-fucking-zero-fucking-seven.

“Steve,” Max gasps. Because. Hear it makes it like. Easier. To process “You. And Steve”

B A M!

“Yeah, Max, Yeah. And this is a fucking surprise and he’s gonna―”

‘I've been waitin' for so long. For somethin' to arrive. For love to come along’

Ok. Oh. Okok.

“Door!” Max hastens him.

“What?”

“You. Door. Run!” She commands, and Billy― sometimes Max can’t honestly understand how he's got the grades he's got, because Billy blinks, looks clueless “C’mon slow ass. Hurry! I’ll hide all this shit”

And Billy finally gets it. Nods. Slow. Then fast. Stumbles up. Literally runs, to get to the door.

Max still gets to hear his labored “Fuck, pretty boy. “That was really hardcore of you. That's how bad you wanted to see me?” And Steve's own breathless “Really?” Before pushing Billy's room door close with her back, and kneeling on the floor to check for stray, incriminating cassettes.

Pretty boy. Maybe Max isn't as clever as she thought she is. Or hasn’t been doing her job right, clearly.

It's when she’s making ‘It’s a kind of magic’ disappear into the rest of the pile that she lays eyes on it. The case. The J-card written almost all the way down to the B-side already. A mixture of songs Billy's heard so many times there are parts where his tapes screech, and others she'd bet her life he wouldn’t have deigned to listen to. Not ever. Definitely not because―no, for, somebody. Bowie and Cher and Cindy Lauper and Bob Seger right next to Metallica and Guns n' Roses and Meatloaf and― there. There. Almost hidden in the back of the spine. A note. A tiny, thin-lettered thing Max really, really shouldn't be reading but―

‘Thanks for driving me back.

Love. Billy’

But. That's what little sisters do too, she guesses. Intrude. Annoy. Snoop. Feel this sudden rush of relief. Of happiness. When Billy laughs softly, on the other side of the door. When Steve laughs back. Maybe a tear. Or two. But just maybe. She’s really good at this little sister thing, after all.

Hopes for stellar.

,

or: that post s3 where steve lets a camaro-less billy drive him around in his own car "really? again, hargrove?" almost every single day, for months, after he comes back, because "you’re gonna perpetually stick yourself to my ass at least let me do the one thing that frikin’ calms me down" which results in steve resigning himself to deejaying in the shotgun even if "jesus, what's that shit, harrington?" "my car, my rules, sweetheart" which results in billy developing a ‘songs steve harrington is in love with’ mental playlist, realizing he’s probably a little bit in love with the way he loves them and, possibly, a little much love with steve and then stealing steve's tapes one day and,

making a mixtape about it.

(the first of a whole lot, of love letters)

[loki-subterfuge]

Irked

Author: lokilover9 Chapter: #17 Rating:Teen Notes: Movies ~ What Women Want with Helen Hunt ~ As Good As It Gets with Jack Nicholson. Song ~ Night And Day by The Temptations Relieved to discover Shandis jacuzzi only half full, the ladies happily eased themselves into it and got comfortable. “Ahhhh. Isn’t this nice, Natskies? It fits two perfectly.” “It does. So why did Loki threaten to spank you?” “Geez your brain pounces to the gutter awfully fast. Were you always this perverted? Maybe you were a man in a past life an’ it filtered over into this one.” “That would explain a lot…well?” “In case I didn’t let him help me outta the car an’ hold hands in public. Said we need to appear in love.” “He’s right. Why hadn’t you agreed to that before?” “‘Cause I didn’t wanna.’” “Mmm. Still in denial of your feelings were you?” Shandi stared at her, uncertain of how to respond. “Okay, look. I’ll admit to findin’ him somewhat..attractive…” “Somewhat?” Asked Nat. “I’ll bet sleeping across the hall from him is causing some wet dreams.” ‘If you only knew.’ “There’s that perv again. Even if it were, it’s not like I could relieve myself.” “Why? I thought your newest vibe was pretty quiet?” “It was. When amongst the livin.’” “A little aggressive, were we?” “No.” Said Shandi. “I played nice. Then outta nowhere, it went tits up. The day we left, too.” “No wonder you appeared agitated that morning.” “Nu uh. That happened ‘cause I forgot where I’d put the damn Hitachi and tore my room apart lookin’ for it. You shoulda seen me. Tossin’ shit from drawers over my shoulder, pullin’ stuff from bins under the bed…dumpin’ baskets outta the closet. You’d think the Tasmanian Devil from..Bugs freakin’ Bunny, had himself a tantrum in there.” Nat laughed. “Hopefully your treasure hunt was successful.” “Sorta. I twied…‘tried’….” “Twied what, Elmer Fud?” Shandi splashed her. “Back off, woman. ‘Tried’..to use it here an’ it’s toast, too.” Nat laughed again. “What the fuck? You broke two vibrators in one week? Who does that, Shandi?” “Oh shuddup. Now I’ll be goin’ manual ‘til our missions over.” “Why bother when Loki’s readily available?“ “An’ what do you ‘spose I do Natskies? March over there durin’ the night an’ wake him with a slap to the ass? ‘Yo Cactus, I could use a stress release. Mind if I play ‘ride the rodeo bull’ on your face?’” “That’s a perfect idea.” “Uh..no.” “Then have him drive you to the local sex shop to buy another.” “Oh, sure. I’d never live that down an’ have ya forgotten the breast pump incident?” “What about it?” “Seriously? The God of Mischief in a store with..vibratin’ dildos, butt plugs an’..bondage supplies? Nope.” Seconds later… “Clint can take him. Then tell Cactus what you want, via snapchat.” ***** Meanwhile, Loki was finding the increasing volume level of Clints music, unnerving and offered him another drink. When discovering the kitchen empty and the second bottle of vodka missing, he returned. “The ladies seem to have mysteriously disappeared.” “You’re kiddin’ me.” Said Clint. “How long ago?” “It’s been at least an hour.” “Oh really? I’ll bet I can guess what they’re up to.” “That being?” Loki asked. In his rather inebriated state, Clint revealed Nat was bisexual and Loki’s brows rose. “Are you suggesting what I think you are?” “I don’t know, but they constantly screw with me insinuating it.” “Do they now? Then I suggest we investigate their whereabouts.” Hoping leaving the music on would give them a better advantage, it almost worked until Cupid malfunctioned. Loki knocked on Shandis door and receiving no answer, slowly turned the knob. Then a hastened shove from Clint, slammed it against the inner wall. “Could you be more conspicuous? I might as well have tied a fog horn to your neck.” “Fuck off Cactus.” Hearing all the noise, Nat and Shandi sunk beneath the bubbles and Loki knocked at the ensuite. “May we come in?” “You may.” Said Shandi. He opened it and again, Clint pushed past him and scoffed at Nat. “Yeah, just as I thought. You’re screwing with me again.” She batted her lashes. “Meaning?” Loki leaned against the doorframe, smirking at Shandi. “Discussing menstrual cramps were you?” Clint continued. “Vixens. I’ll bet you’re both dressed under there and can prove it.” Bending too fast to touch Nat, he slipped and fell in, forcing a large wave of water onto the floor. “Fuck me!” Nat was holding her drink in the air and smiled, when he landed in her lap. “Now?” Loki swung into action, using magic to clean it up, while Clint snapped Nats bra strap. “Was that really necessary?” She asked. “To prove my point, yes!” “Uh, baby cakes…” “And now I’m soaked because…” “But, baby cakes…” “Don’t interrupt, Nat…” “CUPID!” Loki suddenly shouted. “WHAT, CACTUS? WHAT?” He gestured towards Shandi who’d escaped Clints path, but with the water shallower, was concealing her naked tits with her hands. “Shit, sorry darlin.’” Once he left to change, Loki eyed Shandi and Nat. “Have any further pressing issues to discuss, or will you actually be re joining us this time?” “Beat it.” Said Nat. “Before I drop kick your sorry ass.” He smiled, closing the door. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Back in the entertainment room, Clint asked Loki to keep his revelation about Nat, secret. She was partially dressed after all and he regretted embarrassing Shandi. Loki thought it wise to prevent any unwanted visits, from paramedics. The ladies sauntered in with water bottles and Loki eyed Shandis new attire, of form fitting tights and a t shirt. “Care to explain yourselves?” “Shandi craved chocolate and bubbles.” Said Nat. His arms crossed. “This was your idea?” “What of it..brat who skinny dips after midnight?” “Aren’t you cheeky.” Shandi stood her ground. “An’ what of that, too?” They stared each other down and Loki envisioned reddening her ass, when Clint spoke up. “Maybe you guys are taking this husband and wife thing a little too seriously.” They both looked at him. “Hey, just an observation and uhh..sorry about that Shandi.” She smiled. “It’s all good.” “Why don’t we watch a movie? Flip a coin for dibs.” Said Nat. The girls won and decided on ‘What Women Want.’ Everyone settled into the large sectional, with Shandi curled up against an arm next to Loki. She kept repositioning her legs and after the third time, he leaned in and whispered. “Use me.” Smirking at her confused expression, he gently placed one across his thighs. “Better?” “Mm hm. Thanks.” Clint had long fallen asleep, when during a scene near the films end, the actors were slow dancing in the female characters bedroom. The song playing was Night And Day and Nat looked over at Shandi. “There it is again.” Loki glanced between them. “What?” “That dreamy look in her eye every time she watches them dance to that song. She’ll listen to it for days now until the effect wears off.” “You’ve both seen this before?” “Yes, it’s one of her favorites.” Said Nat. “The other is ‘As Good As It Gets.’ “I don’t know what she’s talking about, there’s nothing to see.” Said Shandi. Nat reached for the remote. “You missed out, Cactus. I’ll rewind it.” Shandi gave her the stink eye and he chuckled. “Take heed Kroshka, you’re being warned.” She put it back. “Apparently so.” When it was over, they decided to call it a night and Nat couldn’t wake Clint, so he was left there. Shandi helped take their bags upstairs then returned to the kitchen. Loki entered with some glasses, to find her searching through multiple cupboards. ‘Shit.’ “You’ve rearranged everything. Messed me right up.” She teased. “Clint loves Fruit Loops and I wanted to set him up with my spare box.” “Mustn’t one be awake to eat? Worry about it tomorrow.” He suggested. “I might forget.” After looking in every one, she finally turned to him. “They’re missing along with other items I bought on our first shop.” ***** Nat was just returning up the front stairs, when hearing Shandis unimpressed tone and froze. Loki was visible from where she stood, but he couldn’t see her. ***** “I’ve a confession to make, Shandi. On the day you were ill, I disposed of all the frozen goods you’d purchased out of concern they would cause the same. Your Fruit Loops, Coco Puffs and Lucky Charms, magically disappeared the day after.” He’d hoped light humor might smooth her crinkling brow, but it failed. “Well, I can’t find anything we bought today, either. Where is all that, Loki?” He hesitated. “It never left the store.” Shandi began recalling the day’s events. “That’s why you had me wait in the car…threw everything in the trunk and then put it away before I noticed. You were deceiving me the entire time.” The look of disappointment on her face, made Loki’s stomach knot. “I hadn’t meant…” She interrupted, her tone calm, yet firm. “Please don’t? I thought from our conversation about subjecting me to things without my knowledge Loki, you fully understood it’s not okay. Yet even as we had it, you were concealing things. Then you did the same, when mentioning my diet earlier. I said I’d consider your help after you stated, ‘It’s up to you.’ You could’ve confessed then what I’d chosen wasn’t purchased.” A heavy sigh escaped her. “Maybe to you, they’re simply unhealthy choices about food. The point is, they’re ‘my’ choices. One’s only ‘I've’ the place to make, no matter what they regard.” Loki was internalizing every word, knowing it pointless to defend himself. Regardless the nature of his intentions, she was right. He’d purposely deceived her and tried to conceal it, again. Shandi stopped at the backstairs and looked to him. “I wish you wouldn’t have done this. I liked trusting you. Goodnight.” With that, she was gone and Loki silently berated himself. ‘Brilliant you idiot. Fucking brilliant.’ Seconds after Shandi arrived in her room, Nat entered and quietly closed the door. “Clints lost without his phone in the morning, thought I’d take it to him. You alright?” “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” “Don’t be angry, but I kind of eavesdropped on the way back. Heard everything.” “What, that?” Shandi began searching for pajamas. “It was nothing.” She rammed the drawer back in with her hip. “Nothing at all.” “Obviously.” As they readied for bed, Nat watched her become increasingly frustrated. After dropping the toothpaste lid, she grumbled curses, searching for it behind the toilet, slammed the doors beneath the bathroom sink, banged the lid shut on the hamper after shoving her clothes into it, then turned towards the bed, tripped over the Hitachi bag and toppled onto the floor. “Fuck!” Nat was already in bed and laughed. “Oh, beautiful. You’ve got it bad.”