Part Nine. Minecraft Dating 101
warnings: swearing, mostly super freaking fluffy but some oopsies at the end (which is the barely-there angst that i mentioned before!!), pet names?? if that bothers you??? (like...... one or both of them might use baby.........)
word count: 5.3k (not including pictures)
behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist
ultimate masterlist
A/N: HEHEH SORRY ITS SO LONG SORRY hope you guys like it!!!! hope it lives up to your standards of minecraft dates lol also thank you guys all for all your suggestions!!! i loved all of them so much!!!! i would have added every idea except this was already 5k words so
its much less “flirting” and more so “oh gosh im so nervous what am i supposed to do” from both of them so hehe i think thats more endearing anyway
**********
The familiar sound of a FaceTime call connecting rang in Y/n's ears and she held her phone up to her face. "Hi, Karl," she sighed.
"Y/N!!" he said with a cackle. "ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR DATE?!"
"Shut up, I'm doing this for you."
"I already gave you the tour though so really you could back out. You're choosing to stay." His voice was teasing and giddy. "Why's that, hmm?"
Heat rose instantly to Y/n's face. "Because I'm a woman of my word?"
"OkaAaAyy," he sang. "Or because you liiiiikeee himmm."
"Shhhut up, Karl. No, I don't."
"Suuuure."
"Is this why you called me?"
He giggled. "Yeah, but—"
Y/n disconnected the call and set her phone down with a small laugh and a shake of her head.
With her stream started and her chat greeted, the donation limit raised to $100 (both because she didn't want to be flooded with questions on the date and because she didn't want people to donate their hard-earned money), Y/n logged onto Dream's SMP and found the voice call Dream was in, George's name right under his.
After she clicked it to join, a small gasp emitted from her headphones before she heard Dream mutter something. "Get out, get out, leave."
George's voice was normal. "But I wanna—"
"GEORGE!" Dream yelled, making Y/n giggle.
"Fine!" George yelled back. "Have fun you two," he sang like Karl did before a sound from Discord told them that he left.
It was silent for a second before, "Hi."
"Hi." She giggled. "What was that about?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing. Just some last minute, uh, setting up."
She hummed, amused at the sound of his frantic voice.
"So, um... are you ready for our date?"
"I don't even know where you are. I'm still in my house."
"Knock, knock," he said with a laugh. Y/n turned to see green peeking through the cutouts on her oak door and she laughed.
She ran to the door and opened it for him, revealing Dream in a slightly altered version of his Minecraft skin. He looked the same, except the white blob appeared to be wearing a necktie of some sort. "You look ridiculous," she admitted with a smile. "Wait, is this a fancy date? Should I change my skin?"
"It's not fancy, I just wanted to look my best for the prettiest girl in the world."
"Ohmygosh," she muttered to herself, hoping that writing off his charming words and actions as annoying would make her face not heat up as much. So far, it hadn't worked. Two minutes in and she was already blushing like a schoolgirl whose crush asked her to play tag at recess. "So, I'm not underdressed?"
"No, you're always perfect."
She didn't comment, opting for an eye-roll instead. Truthfully, she wanted to flirt back with him, try to make his heart beat fast like hers already was, but she was worried her words wouldn't come off joking and that the true intention would be obvious, that he'd be able to breeze right past the jovial tone and hear the sincerity in her words. Wait, true intention? What was her true intention? Her true intention should obviously be to just joke around and have some fun, but deep down she knew the motivation for teasing him came from somewhere different, somewhere more meaningful.
She wanted to tease him because she wanted to be the one to make him blush, to make him trip over his words and not know what to do with his hands.
Why? Well, she was still figuring that out.
"If you're ready, follow me, ma'am."
"Where are you taking me?" she asked as she followed his character down prime path.
"Hmmm..." he mused. "A secret, obviously."
"Obviously," she scoffed. She noticed that he was several blocks ahead of her and she smiled to herself. "Hey, Dream?"
"Hm?" he asked, spinning to face her as he ran backward.
"I don't know how many dates you've been on, but usually people walk together. You know, gives them an excuse to maybe hold hands or at least enjoy each other's company?" She made sure her voice had just the right balance of teasing and seriousness, curious as to how he would respond.
"I, uh... oh."
"Unless you want me to just meet you there. I mean, you're practically running away from me."
"I'm just excited!" he excused, stopping briefly so she could catch up with him.
"But look at how many beautiful things there around us to look at while we get to where we're going!" she told him. "Well, maybe not that," she said with a laugh as she punched her fist towards Tommy's dirt house. "But other things."
Dream laughed and continued to walk next to her like she requested, pausing if he ever got too far ahead. "How can I look at all those when the most beautiful thing is walking right next to me?"
She's never rolled her eyes so hard in her life. "Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him.
"OW! BUG!"
"That was supposed to be a pat on the arm but Minecraft only has one level of hitting and it's a punch. Sorry."
Dream wheezed briefly before containing his laughter. "This way," he instructed, getting off the path and starting into the woods.
"Oh, really you're trying to kill me. That's why you didn't want me to wear anything nice. Didn't want me to ruin any of my fancy stuff."
"Foiled my plans," he joked lightly. "Okay but really, um, I was thinking—well, so you already have a house but I was thinking we could build one together. Or build something, I don't know. But you're really good at building and I know you really enjoy it so I thought maybe you could show—like, teach me and then later I'll teach you something and then we can have a little picnic dinner."
Y/n smiled at her nervousness. "Hey, that actually sounds really fun!"
"What? What do you mean actually?" He laughed. "What, did you expect me to plan something boring?"
She laughed over his dramatic pouting. "No, but I mean, I didn't know what to expect," she said shyly. "I do have to say, though, I'm not sure what you plan on teaching me. I'm pretty much a master at all possible Minecraft skills, so..."
"Oh, really?" he taunted. "Everything?"
"Mhm," she hummed, her confidence wavering at his smooth voice.
"We'll see about that..."
"Unless you mean you're gonna teach me how to code Minecraft. That's a Minecraft skill I will admit I know nothing about."
"No, no, nothing like that," he said with a laugh.
"Good, save the programming talk for later."
"For laaater, hmmm?" he sang flirtatiously.
"Oh my gosh," she said through a laugh. "You would think that's what I meant."
"Hey, you're the one that said you think it's cute when I talk about coding. Maybe you're into that."
"I was saying it's sweet hearing you talk about stuff you like, you nerd. Why did you immediately think—what, is your idea of dirty talk talking about... like... computer viruses?"
"WhAT?"
"Hey girl, lemme clean out your motherboard," she mocked in a deep voice. "You overclock my processor. Lemme program your, uh—uh...hAHA, nevermind, ew, no."
"BUG?! WHAAAT? What is wrong with you?" His gasps for breath between wheezes made her laugh with him. "Don't ever talk like that again, pleASE."
"I won't, I won't, I'm sorry. Oh my gosh."
"Is that your idea of flirting? You are bad!"
"No, no, no!" She laughed. "I was making fun of you. No, I'm actually really good."
She couldn't stop giggling to herself for a few minutes, embarrassed but also proud of the reaction she got from Dream. She loved hearing him laugh as if he would never stop, it made her heart so happy to hear, especially when she was the one who caused it.
Though she feared her horrible pickup lines, if you could even call them that, were already clipped, ready to be used against her for the rest of her life. Worth it. Probably.
They approached a cleared-out area in the woods and Dream stopped and turned to Y/n. "So, we're here. What should we build?"
"Oh, so now I have to plan? Wow, you are so underprepared," she joked.
"What, no! I originally... I wanted to build a, like, a house together because I didn't— I forgot you made your—your house already and—but since you already have one—"
"We can still build a house," she interrupted with a soft voice. Him fumbling over his words was very endearing but also very confusing. How serious was he taking this bit? Or was he... actually nervous? She was actually nervous but she had reasons to be: a huge live audience to entertain and not ignore, and the weird staticky, itchy feeling in her tummy every time Dream spoke to her. Both valid reasons to be nervous. What was his excuse?
"Really? You wanna build a home together?"
Heat rose to her cheeks at his wording and she hummed. "Mhm. You can be my secret lover I hide in my vacation home. Like a second life kinda deal."
He scoffed. "Oh, now I'm just your side piece, Bug?"
"Nah, you're my main bitch, baby. I just wanna hide you away to keep you for myself because I'm selfish."
There was silence on his end for a few moments, making Y/n's face practically catch fire as she thought about her words. Why did she say that?? How can he flirt all the time but as soon as she says something: dead silence.
"Well.... shhhhhit," he finally mumbled definitively.
"You wanted me to flirt with you, Dream. You literally asked me too!" She laughed, trying to cover up her embarrassment. It had been less than 20 minutes and she already made a fool of herself.
"I did, I did, I just—wow. Come on, that was... I didn't expect you to go from never flirting to calling me baby!"
"Too much?" she bit her lip as she waited for him to explain if it was a good or bad thing.
He paused again. "....no."
She laughed loudly, pulling her hoodie collar up to her face in an attempt to rid herself of the giddiness and heat on her face. Like anyone could see anyway.
"So, a house?"
"A house."
"What kind of house do you think we should build together, Dream?"
"Maybe...." he thought as he ran around the area. "Maybe, like, a log cabin? Since we're in a forest. It's fitting..."
"Very true, very true..." she thought. "I was thinking a castle was more suited for you, king, but a cabin works too."
"Bug!" he yelled, laughter bubbling up in his voice. "What is wrong with you?"
"What?" she said defensively, giggling.
"You're a handful today," he groaned under his breath and she smiled. Though his words said one thing, Y/n could tell he was enjoying her energy.
"So, a dinky, old cabin, or what?"
"Whatever you want to build," he sighed.
"You always this agreeable?"
"Only to you."
"Well, I honestly don't have much practice with building cabins and since I want to show off my skills, I mean, that's the whole point of this, right? For me to impress you with my skills?"
Dream laughed so she continued.
"I think we should build a treehouse."
"A treehouse?"
"Mhm. What do you think? I make a pretty bomb treehouse."
"That sounds awesome!" he agreed. "Oh, and it could go from, like, one tree to another and, like, connect with a bridge! Like, the living room on one and the bedroom on another."
"Yeah, exactly! Okay, it's settled."
"What do we need? What do you want me to do?"
"I'm thinking.... we use cobblestone?"
Dead silent. Literally no noise until a few moments later, ".......Bug. This might be a deal-breaker."
"I'm joooking! You think I'd build something out of cobblestone? Who am I, Tommy? No, what's your favorite wood?"
"Dark oak."
"GOOD. Me too. So.... we need dark oak. Or, wait! Okay, hear me out."
"I'm hearing..." Dream prompted as he pressed A and D on his keyboard back and forth, earning a giggle from Y/n. He character was bouncing left and right is excitement.
"Dark oak planks..." she started.
"Mhm."
"Stone bricks..."
"Go on."
"And green wool for accents."
"Well, now you're just pandering."
"No!" she laughed. "Not, like, lime wool. Green wool. It's close to you but not as... obnoxiously blinding."
"I trust your vision. I'll go get materials."
"Perfect, you're the best, Dweam."
"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled before laughing. "You pick out a tree you think would be best for the main part."
40 minutes later, they were nowhere near being done. Y/n had shown him how to make a good house layout after he placed the floor in the shape of a square. She had yelled at him for it first, of course. They also had the frame of the walls and one bridge but nothing on the other side of said bridge. Not wanting the stream to last six hours since this was only the first part of the date, Y/n made a suggestion.
"What if...."
"What if what?" Dream asked, pausing to look at her character, who had stopped fixing his mistakes. "Did I mess something up?"
"No, I was just thinking. What if we make this the whole house and do a little garden on the other side of the bridge? Or like a little cute thing."
"A little cute thing?" Dream laughed.
"You know, like a thing," she said, knowing she hadn't clarified anything. "I forgot this is only date one, you can't read my mind yet."
"Oh, so there are gonna be future dates? I thought this was just to pay off your debt?"
She paused, playing with her hoodie strings between her left hand. "Well, I guess we'll see."
Dream laughed. "So, what little cute thing did you want to make?"
"We could put a bench facing the sunset and have some potted flowers and hang lanterns and stuff."
"Oh, like a romantic spot?"
"I guess if you wanna think of it like that."
"Sounds cute," he said. "So, we have to change the layout in here then?"
"Nah, I mean, we can just not add a kitchen, we obviously don't need one anyway."
"True. Then all we need is to put our bed down, right?"
"Beds," Y/n corrected.
"Well, when they're together it looks like one big bed."
"Who said we're putting out beds together?"
"Buuuuggg..." he whined. "Come on... lemme put my bed next to yours."
She giggled again. What was with all the giggling, sheesh. "No. There's plenty of space, put it somewhere else." She placed her white bed down in the corner and went across the bridge to bring her idea to life, or, to Minecraft.
It only took about ten minutes and she finished when Dream spoke again. "I think I'm done."
"I am too! Let's take one final look around." She went back inside and immediately noticed his bed right next to hers. She stared at his character and he laughed.
"Whaaat?" he asked shyly and she just sighed, letting it happen. They took a look around and agreed that it was basically the best treehouse in the entire universe, both in Minecraft and real life.
"Bug, you're so good at building," Dream complimented as he ran around the house. "What's your favorite part?"
"Ummm...." She looked around before deciding on the bridge. "I like how you made the bridge. And I like the little touches you added to it. It's nice."
"Thanks! I think the 'little cute thing' you did is the best part."
"Shut up, I can't stand you," she scoffed. "But thanks."
"Hey, Bug?" Dream asked, leading her back into the house. He faced the two beds placed together and she prepared herself for the worst joke of all time. "Is this where all the programming talk happens?"
"I knew it! I knew you were gonna say that! Shut up!" She punched Dream as he laughed loudly and she couldn't stop smiling. "You're such a nerd. You're so annoying."
"OH! I have an idea, wait here."
***
It had been a solid eight and a half minutes of Y/n waiting for Dream and he showed no signs of returning. He was silent too, so she resorted to saying random things to get him to crack.
"When will my husband return from war?" she joked, her voice laced with sadness and longing.
There was a small suppressed laugh from his mic, but still no words.
"Sometimes I think I can still hear him laughing at me."
He must have gotten reeeaaalll close to his mic, because his next words, the first ones he had spoken in almost ten minutes, were whispered but she felt like he was in her ear. "I'll be home soon, baby."
Once again, she was so glad her chat couldn't see her because she literally shivered and her face was so warm she felt like she was glowing.
For the first time all stream, her eyes betrayed her and she looked at her chat as she pulled her hoodie collar up to her face.
user18: BUGSY BEIN REEEAL QUIET
user4: i think i just passed out
user11: wHAT ON EARTH DREAM ADKXKH
user7: BUGSY ON GOD BE REAL WITH US WTF IS GOING ON RN
user2: hey bestie i cant do this rn
user9: they can't talk to each other like that and say they're just friends pleASE
Also for the first time all stream, someone dared to donate at her limit (which, again, was ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS).
karakatara donated $100
I had to donate bc I just HAD to tell you how cute you and dream are! honestly my favorite couple ever and I was just wondering how long you've been dating??? love you and your videos!!!!!
It was $100. She had to answer it. Meaning, she had to use words after Dream said that like that and she wasn't sure that was physically possible right now.
"Aren't you going to answer?" Dream taunted.
"Wha—what, are you—you stream watching, you weirdo?" she forced out. "Why?"
"I wanted to read your chat, they're really funny."
"I haven't been reading it."
"What, why? They've been so funny this whole time."
"I've been too scared to."
"Too scared? Of what?"
Of the jokes that she wanted to be real? Of seeing something so cute only to break her heart when she remembers it's all a joke? Of seeing someone hate her for being so close to Dream? Many things.
"Of seeing something... that boosts your ego."
"What? Oh, come on. Hey, answer the dono. Someone gave you their hard earned money for that."
"Yeah, wait, chat, I had the limit that high so you DON'T donate! Why on earth would you—"
"You're avoiding the question."
"We aren't actually dating! Not actually a couple!" she said with a laugh, though something in her heart was very much against laughing at that fact. "Obviously not."
"Well, it's only the first date, so, we'll see I guess, but..."
"I cannot stand you. Thank you so much for the dono, though, Karakatara. You're insane for... yeah. Thank you so much." She turned her attention back to Dream. "Actually though are you ever coming back?"
"Yeah, what, I'm almost there. I see the you staring out the window. ."
When he got inside, he dropped a blue cornflower for Y/n and stepped back. "Okay, now, give that to me."
She followed, not understanding. "For you, Dream." She dropped the flower.
"Aw, Bug! That's so kind! Aw! Thank you! Here's a flower for you, too!" He dropped her a red poppy and then put two item frames on the wall above their beds. He put the blue cornflower above his bed and she followed by putting the red one above hers. "Now that's my favorite part of the house."
"You didn't want to use the real ones? What, did you lose my flower or something?"
"Hell no!" he defended loudly. "No, I just don't want someone to steal that one. It's in my enderchest for safe-keeping."
He said it so casually like it was no big deal, but her heart soared. She too had his flower in her enderchest.
"This," she said dramatically with a sigh, "is now a treehome."
***
"I already told you I'm the best PVP player out there."
"Bug, honey, I've seen you play Bedwars. You're trash."
"Hey!" Hehe, honey. Shut up brain.
"But that's okay! I'm here to teach you."
Y/n's character stood across a makeshift battlefield from Dream's, an axe in hand and armor that was definitely donated by DreamXD on her body. "This is kinda sexist of you. Assuming I know how to name a cute house but not fight."
"Oh no, that's not—crap. Bug, I'm only basing this off of your streams, which I watch all the time—"
Once again, he said something so casual and yet it still made her heart skip three beats and once again, she grabbed the collar of her hoodie and pulled it up to hide her face. This thing had to be stretched by now from how often it was yanked on in this stream alone.
"—and don't get me wrong, you're great! But you're also good at a lot of stuff and—"
"Dream!" she giggled out. "I'm teasing. I admit you're much better than me."
"I wouldn't say much better but... it's the only thing I could possibly teach you anything about because you're just so good at Minecraft." His tone was sarcastic at this point but she knew he was meaning what he said.
"Whatever. Come on, Dream, show me how it's done."
He actually had a lot of very useful tips that Y/n otherwise would have never thought about. I guess when you tryhard Minecraft, she thought, you learn a thing or two about pvp. It was a complete joke, but she still kept it to herself.
"I could basically beat anyone now," she said confidently.
"Yeah, basically. Except maybe Technoblade."
"Nah, even him."
"Let's see how good you really are. To the death."
"What?" She laughed. "You're gonna try to kill me on our date?"
"Yeah, scared?" Seconds later, a creeper exploded near Dream and he screeched, jumping back. Y/n lost it. She laughed loudly, clutching her stomach.
"Dr-Dream!" She laughed. "What the hell was that?"
"It scared me!" he argued. "Here, I'll protect you," he offered, running past her and killing a skeleton that was shooting towards her.
"I don't need protecting, especially from you! Besides, if you're trying to kill me, you'd let the mobs get me."
"No," he decided. "No one's allowed to kill my Bug."
She was literally going to explode. "Wh—"
"Only I get to."
"Dream!" she scoffed, running to kill the skeleton first. She succeeded and he pouted.
"Hey—I did more damage than you, you just had the final hit."
"Really? Cause to me it looks like I'm your knight in shining armor."
"Nuh-uh," he spat.
"Dream. F5 right now, you're covered in arrows."
There was a pause. "Oh whatever." He hit her once and that's all it took for them to start fighting, throwing jokes and taunts at each other the whole time, eventually resulting in a satisfying win for her.
Dream was slain by Bugsy
"WHAT?! HOW?"
<Tubbo> i thogt you were on a date
<Ranboo> well definitley not anymore
<Ranboo> is that canon
<JackManifoldTV> WOMEN
"What was that about you being better than me?" Y/n teased.
"Oh, come ON! I still had damage from the skeleton, and besides, I taught you everything you know!"
"That just makes you a very good teacher, Dream," she said sincerely and he paused, probably expecting her to insult him instead of compliment him.
"Yeah, suck up now that you've murdered me."
***
They were finally at their final stop, three hours into the stream. Not too bad on time, though this was probably the longest Minecraft date in the history of Minecraft dates. Also the best, but maybe Y/n was biased.
There was a huge tree, obviously built instead of naturally generated, with lanterns hanging down and lighting areas of the dark world around them. Under that was a checkered pattern of carpet, a single chest in the center with a potted plant sitting next to it.
"The carpet is supposed to look like a, uh, what's it called... picnic blanket?" Dream explained as they approached the scene, clearly not happy with how it turned out. "It looks weird. Nothing compared to the treehouse you built."
"We built," she corrected. "And this looks awesome, Dream," Y/n complimented. "It's is also my favorite colors."
"Yeah, I had some help from Karl on that one."
She leaned back in her chair in real life and pressed her hands to her face. Oh, it was so unfair how cute he was when he was shy like this. She glanced at chat, which only made her face go from the temperature of molten lava to basically the sun. She was going to explode.
She hummed, a little giggle coming out as well. "That's cute."
She sat (crouched) on the picnic blanket (piece of carpet) while Dream put a disc in the jukebox off to the side.
"Is that a Tommy disc?" she giggled and Dream laughed.
"No, no, no, don't worry. There shouldn't be any continuations of wars interrupting our date."
"Shouldn't be," she emphasized, noticing someone approaching them from the distance.
Dream was about to speak when Quackity reached them and quickly joined the voice channel.
"Oh no," Dream sighed. "We've come so far."
"AYYEEE WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?!" Quackity yelled in his Mexican Dream voice, his voice bubbling with laughter. "IS THIS A DATE OR SOMETHING, MAN?"
"Quackity, go AWAY!" Dream ordered, punching the character who had stripped to his underwear. "YOU'RE INDECENT! THERE IS A LADY HERE!"
Y/n laughed, enjoying the scene of fancy Dream hitting naked Quackity away from their picnic dinner.
"I'm your waiter, I'm your waiter!" Quackity said in his normal voice, still laughing. "DREAM! WILL YOU STO— QUIT HITTING ME!"
This had turned chaotic very quickly.
"We don't need a waiter," Dream informed him.
"Then I'm the singing gram you ordered." He started singing a song and Dream groaned. "HEY THERE DELILAH WHAT'S IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY—"
"No! You're being a clout chaser, go away!"
"I'm honestly impressed we made it this far without anyone coming into the voice channel," Y/n admitted.
"I paid them," Dream joked.
"You did not!" Karl's voice suddenly came through and Y/n laughed. "We were all just being polite and staying away but we're getting bored! We've been so patient!"
"Yeah, hurry up! We wanna play!!!" Sapnap whined. "Dream, it's not fair for you to steal Bugsy from us for so long."
"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed with a laugh as Dream laughed along.
"Just ten minutes! Ten more minutes!" Dream bargained but none of them would have it. "Just so I can say goodbye!"
"No!" George insisted. "Right now!"
"Look, wait, wait, hold on—"
<Sapnap joined the game>
<GeorgeNotFound joined the game>
<KarlJacobs joined the game>
"—hold ON!" Dream begged, watching as the three boys ran and joined Quackity by the picnic blanket.
Y/n could not stop laughing at all the avatars around them. The date had been so peaceful and cute but all good things must come to a chaotic end.
"Wait, come on, Karl, Karl, Karl," Dream said quickly. "Come here. Bug, just a sec, please. Stay right there."
"Okay," she agreed, curious to see his plan.
Karl followed him and of course Sapnap couldn't help but also join them.
"Okay," Dream whispered loudly, clearly wanting everyone to hear his offer. He crouched and the other two copied. "Just give me ten minutes—"
"Ten?" Sapnap asked loudly.
"Shhh!!! Yes, ten minutes, to say goodbye and, you know, end the date."
There was a long, thick pause. "What exactly are your intentions with Bugsy Games," Karl asked seriously, matching Dream's whisper.
"Well, I wanna make sure she gets home safe, you know, so I'm gonna drop her off and, I don't know, see if maybe.... maybe she'll give me a hug?"
Karl and Sapnap both gasped dramatically and Y/n giggled, sparing a glance at her chat who were all freaking out.
"What the hell?" Quackity said while laughing. He and George were still standing near Y/n so they were just watching the goons with her.
"Bugsy is not that kind of girl!" Sapnap protested. "You think she's just gonna give you a hug?"
"Sapnap! Do you not know how to whisper???"
George let a loud laugh slip before slapping his hand over his mouth, which his mic picked up.
"Okay, Dream, wait, so you're gonna try to... hug her?" Karl clarified. "She won't even let me hug her. Good luck."
"Well, I'm not going to force her into anything but, I don't know, she said something about holding my hand earlier so I just thought maybe there's a possibility—"
"WHAT?" Karl yelled before going back to the whisper. "Okay, okay, don't panic, but that's huge. Dadnap, a word?"
He and Sapnap broke off from Dream and formed their own huddle, except their whispers were incoherent mumblings that weren't even English.
"Oh my gosh," Y/n groaned loudly, an unmistakable laugh behind her words.
"Okay," Sapnap said, rejoining Dream. "We'll give you five minutes but if you take any longer, we're barging in and killing you."
"Yes, sir!" Dream said. "Thank you, sirs."
"Mhm. Okay, break!"
They all uncrouched in sync before Dream ran back to Y/n.
"How did it go?" she asked as if she didn't hear the entire conversation.
"Bad news," he started. "Your dad's want you home."
"Shame, I was quite enjoying my time."
Dream slowly turned towards the boys as if to glare at them for ending the date before turning back to her. "Then, maybe, I don't know, we could do this again sometime?"
"I.... think I'd like that," she said slowly, trying to tease him.
He giggled and told her he was going to drop her off at her house, even though when the date was over, they were all probably gonna mess around together anyway so there was no point in them leaving the group. But it was the thought that counted.
He ended up taking her back to the treehouse, which warmed her heart. She also noticed when they faced each other at front of the door, she could see the four other boys watching them.
"Goodnight, my sweet Bug," he said poshly.
"Goodnight, Dream." He turned away but she stopped him. "Wait!" She moved to his side and made a loud, MUAH, sound before stepping back in front of him. "A kiss on the cheek," she clarified, not wanting him to think she gave him a real kiss.
"Cute," he said under his breath, almost like he didn't mean to say it out loud. "Night night." He turned away and ran down to the others, screaming the whole way. "GUYS, DID YOU SEE THAT? BUG GAVE ME A KISS ON THE CHEEK!! OMG DID YOU SEE, DID YOU SEE?"
Chat was gonna have a field day with that. Actually, with a lot of things that had happened. Oh, she could see the clips and edits now.... oh boy.
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hey, i want to pay you a compliment but i don’t want to be weird about it - a guide to interacting with a smut writer
so, recently i got a pretty inappropriate ask and figured this would be something beneficial to share with you all, especially if you’re new to interacting with smut writers or don’t know where the line in. i know it can be kind of intimidating and confusing interacting with smut content when you’re new to it or you’ve never spoken to a writer directly, so i hope this guide can offer you a little bit of perspective.
also, a disclaimer - this is based off of what i consider appropriate. if you’re ever worried, just straight up ask a smut writer about what kind of compliments they like, and what would be considered going too far
what compliments related to their work are ok?
so, for me, i highly prefer literature-related comments, however, general enjoyment comments are good as well! here are some examples of each type:
general enjoyment compliments are your safest bet for any fic. they’re a little basic, but authors will still love to see them in tags, asks, and reviews. they’re a fic writer’s bread and butter, and i’d even go so far to say that almost every smut fic writer would find these appropriate. here are some examples:
i loved this fic so much! you’re an amazing writing and i’m looking forward to reading more of your work
EXCUSE ME WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT - this was amazing! one of my fav fics of all time, you have so much talent
THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD (insert praying emoji here)
IJBGRJGOTER OP YOU ARE GOING TO K I L L M E
one of these days i am going to pass out from how good your writing is i SWEAR
you can be funny with these, but the general point is just to compliment the writer, tell them that you enjoy their work and that you value the effort they put into the piece. you can find these kinds of compliments on any sort of fic, i just feel like the last couple of really frantic keysmashing ones are far more common on smut fics!
now, on to literary compliments. this section can be a little trickier, since you’re specifically discussing the smutty content of the story, but here are some general themes to keep in mind: characterization, character relationship, plot/setup, author voice, and realism. since you’re complimenting a writer, leaning into literary elements can do you some good in keeping you grounded in the art of their work rather than stepping over the line into inappropriate comments. some examples:
you write him so well! i definitely think he would be a hard dom, and you captured that perfectly! the dialogue... just *chef’s kiss* (characterization)
dude, the relationship between her and y/n is ADORABLE. like yeah, the smut was awesome, as always, but i love how you captured how soft she would be in a relationship, and y/n is so gentle in return... it was just so sweet, i loved it! (relationships)
i don’t know how you do it but you write the BEST setups. i feel like you can write any character in any kink setup and i would just go “yeah, that makes total sense” even if it’s completely implausible. it’s just that good! respect. (setups/plot)
the way you write is so amazing. i love the way you describe everything, it’s so poetic and beautiful. i definitely think it suits the characters, and i love the idea of a sex scene like that being so intimate and beautiful (author voice)
i love that you don’t take everything so seriously! that you write little jokes even in your sex scenes - i hate reading scenes that are super stiff and overly dramatic, and you capture something so fun and sweet when you write, it’s awesome! (author voice)
ok, can i just say i LOVE how realistic your scenes are? like, i love how you include things like foreplay and aftercare and emphasize the playfulness and even the mistakes that can happen when you’re trying something with a partner for the first time. (realism)
i, personally, love literature related comments. i write smut as a form of literature, and even if it isn’t “high art” i do like it when people appreciate the time i take to work on characterization and similar elements
basically, treat a smut fic like any other fic when it comes to writing a compliment. smut can be literary too!
what compliments aren’t ok?
alright, so this is the important section. mostly this relates to personal experiences that are serious and unrelated to the work itself. basically, you’re treating me, the smut writer, like your friend that you share your sexual experiences with. if it doesn’t relate to the character, the fic, or my writing skill, it’s probably not appropriate. some examples
telling me sex acts you did while you read the fic. this is basically the classic “i jacked off to this, it’s sooooo good” comment. some people can jack off to a particularly curvy piece of driftwood - this isn’t a compliment, this is a violation of writer/reader trust. i don’t want to know about your personal sex life
personal sex stories. don’t tell me about how one time you were fucking your bf and it was like this fic i wrote - i don’t care, i don’t want to hear about how you had sex with your bf.
basically any real life, direct connections to you and your sex life that aren’t jokes (i’ll explain this in the next section)
also, a big section of compliments that are always a hard no - shit that relates back to MY sexual expertise. such as “wow you write this so well, you’re probably good in bed” or “wow you’re a freak huh? lmao” don’t fucking perceive me
what personal comments are ok?
so, this section deals with what asks you can send me that aren’t compliments - aka what messages relating to headcanons, your personal life, etc, that you can share with me that may or may not be smut related. this is specific to ME, as in, check in with other smut writers for these things
sharing jokes surrounding your personal life that may be slightly sexual. for example, at one point, i wrote a set of dick headcanons and an anon commented (in a joking way) that i described their bf’s dick perfectly. while this is a sexual comment, the anon didn’t tell me anything about their sex life or sex acts they committed - they just made a joking sexual comment that connected back to their daily life. for me, personally, if it is slightly sexual, but does not involve any actual sex/masturbation acts, it’s fine to joke about with me
in addition to the above, sending in comments like “thanks, bolt, now i have a praise kink” or similar, after i write something about it. they’re joking, and they’re fine to send in to my blog
sending me in smutty headcanons. i LOVE when people send me in smutty headcanons about how a character would act in certain scenarios. so PLEASE feel free to send those
questions about kink, kink culture, or even general sex ed questions. if it’s educational in nature, i would be more than happy to help, but a reminder that i am just a random stranger on the internet. you should probably just ask me what sex pollen is, and not how to fix your sex life lmao
telling me what you would do to a character is fine. like “omg i wanna peg Bolin so bad can you imagine the noises he would make?” is perfectly fine, to me. we’re all thirsting after these characters, and it’s a major subject of the blog, so i don’t mind these asks, especially since sometimes they lead to me writing out some headcanons or fleshing out a certain part of a character
what personal comments aren’t ok?
i covered this mostly in previous sections, but -
discussions of your personal sex life, as in, sex acts you have committed or partaken in, joking or serious. while i am ok with jokes that are vaguely sexual or hold sexual connotations, please don’t reveal details or your personal sex or self-love life to me, even in joke form
anything pertaining to me and my sex life. there’s no need for you to know, and if i wanted to tell you, i would
starting an argument with a smut writer over what they will or will not write. everyone has different limits and boundaries, and some of these choices are shaped by very personal experiences that someone might not want to share, or things they cannot control - such as dysphoria, trauma, or mental illness. if someone’s limits or lack thereof are offensive to you, it is best that you simply block and move on instead of trying to incite an argument.
this isn’t kink related, but most unrelated comments regarding your day/what you did. while it’s nice that you went out and got an iced coffee, i’m a lok writing blog. unless you relate it back to a headcanon you’re sharing with me, or a request you want me to complete, please don’t just tell me about your day (unless we are friends and talking on discord, lol)
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