#that doesnt make him fucking insane and he doesnt need 2 b yelled at like an incorrigible dog

[mxniomei]

anon here back to yell about the latest chapter of hunger like a storm… read thru the whole thing again and has totally forgotten how hard hitting some of felix’s dialogue is you had me straight up crying with half of that it’s insane how i , as the reader, know how much the rest of the boys want him (so so fucking badly) but felix cannot see past the fact that for some reason he is a burden to them all and the contradiction of it all breaks my heart … like lowkey the implications of their day to day relationships being impacted as well it’s like … everyone is pining for felix and felix is pining for everyone but they’re over there and he’s over here alone like gahhhhhhhhh my heart … please let chan give him the bite please let him join the pack please let the boys take care of him in the way he wants

u didnt ask for an essay but i accidentally wrote an essay so its under the cut if ur interested

the problem with ot7 and lix is that they cant understand each other

1. they're coming at the issue from fundamentally different places. Felix is trying to solve being a burden and ot7 are trying to solve Felix's unhappiness. ot7 don't think Felix is a burden, so Felix is solving a problem that doesn't exist. bc the problem doesn't actually exist, he can never solve it, and he can't be happy bc not solving the nonexistent problem is keeping him from happiness. ot7 can't make Felix happy bc Felix has trapped himself in that cycle i just mentioned and it is self perpetuating, but they don't understand that and can't break it bc of it.

2. Felix is running a lot of risks with his health in A/B/O i think it's fair to say sexual health is taken seriously and here while I'm using it as a metaphor for PMS and other such things, in universe he's taking near hallucinogens to get his symptoms under control-- just his symptoms him framing this as a "i don't want to be a burden" situation is ACTIVELY playing against his best health interests. heat shots are considered dangerous and Minho can't believe he'd consider them-- showing how little both parties understand about the other's thoughts on the situation at hand until Felix treats this as a "i need to figure out if i can deal with the disease and work from there" he's not gonna get better mentally nor physically. also Minho is putting a lot of faith into hormone therapy but there's really no guarantee it'll be the right answer.

3. they're all wishing for the same things without considering how that may...go everyone wants Felix to be normal right? but chronic illness doesn't work that way. you can't just "be" normal. you live with symptoms forever and also even if you can take meds or do therapy or whatever for it, you'll be doing that forever and that's gotta be ok and nobody in hlas has accepted that they keep insisting Felix is normal and just "going through something" and Felix has generally hidden the severity of it they've gotta come to terms with the fact he may never be ok enough to bite but they can't accept that reality...which leads back to point one: Felix feels like a burden because he can't be bitten, among other things.

some other less related points:

this also all stems from the fact that felix really doesnt show the severity of what hes carrying. minho mentions it in ch 6, but felix doesnt share how badly his heats get to him, and also never shares the psychological impact of them either. the reality is, whos to say felix hasnt already had hallucinations from the tryptibutyl? we’re only getting one heat of at least 6-8 within his lifetime if we presume that the pattern is always 2 years (which it isnt bc it’s established that theyre unstable heats) and tryptibutyl is the main thing he takes. plus tryptibutyl aside, the impact of being unable to keep a regular heat would make any omega in a society that values their ability to have kids over them go crazy.

that along with minho, who Felix sees as this ideal omega who has perfect cycles and never has to deal with the shit felix does and gets to have a bite and gets to be everything felix has ever wanted, has got to sting. and its got to sting more with the fact felix loves him, no matter if hes jealous of minhos life

its all cyclical at this point, and along with a few other things, this is whats keeping them from bein ot8.

thanks for coming to my ted talk i guess

[99soft]

otp questions: MY answers for markren / 3 wc: ~ 2k 

a/n: you might think i’m stupid for doing this but it helps me get back at writer’s block (revenge)! there are two more going to be posted and the last one is going to be terribly long. (so i guess this is sort of for me).

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

hands down mark spends a lot of his money on renjun. and it’s not like renjun asks for it because dude he’s got his own fucking money. mark just likes to spoil his bf - sometimes he’s just out and he sees something that he thinks renjun will like and get it. that’s just how he is, he’s whipped.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

who do you think? mark sleeps in renjun’s lap !!! he’s a baby and renjun is his cuddly bear. which sounds really cheesy but renjun is really good at rubbing his back and such. he also likes the way renjun plays with his hair, it calms him.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

renjun walks around half naked all the time. EVEN WHEN THERE ARE GUESTS AROUND !! it’s crazy, you would think it’s mark however he’s way too shy about that stuff. so usually it’s mark yelling at him because it drives him insane. (his skin is just so nice and mark doesn’t want to get worked up around guests...)

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

mark likes to read things late at night and in the bed next to renjun. and renjun cannot sleep with the lights on or with mark’s phone brightness lighting up the whole room so usually he yells at him and mark will say “in a few minutes babe” but a few minutes turn into an hour.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

okay ya’ll know. it’s mark who burns all the food. after he tried to make breakfast in bed for renjun, he almost burned down the whole house. renjun eventually did come to the rescue and save them all from dying. he just rubbed mark’s back, gave him a peck on the cheek and made them a good batch of cookies.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

renjun used to really be into …. some vampire show. either it was buffy the vampire slayer or true blood. either way it doesn’t matter so he loved to write fanfiction for them … and well otp prompts were always so nice to use.sometimes he still reads them and thinks about him and mark while reading them. so eventually renjun showed one to mark: “person A is addicted to peanut butter. unfortunately, when they start dating person B, they find out person B is allergic to peanuts.” and mark was so confused because neither of them are allergic to peanut butter… it happens a lot and mark just gets so frustrated.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

renjun always wears mark’s clothing !!! he especially loves wearing his sweatshirts. no explaination he just loves mark and his nice clothing….

okay fine!  yeah its cliche, they smell like him and renjun loves it.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

mark is usually the one running the errands and renjun just texts him after he’s done, asking if he’s got what they needed. prompting mark to turn the car around to get that thing that they desperately need. it drives mark crazy because it almost happens every time YET he refuses to have a shopping list !! he’s a maniac.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

mark’s the driver. renjun is the organized one. he’s the one that likes sitting in the seat just chillin and playing music not having to worry about the road in front of him. one might say he’s a bit lazy.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

mark poses for renjun ! sometimes naked sometimes not who knows ! mark thinks it’s quite embarrassing but renjun reassures him that if he doesn’t get this art grade because of him, he will no longer give mark any more kisses for a whole month !! so there is that.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

renjun is incredibly flexible and sometimes it freaks mark out. so i can totally see renjun doing all those cool flips and stuff because mark … mark’s just a klutz. plus mark does like chips so… it just works that way.

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

this is kind of hard because sometimes renjun likes to drink a lot. but, usually its mark who gets drunk. mark doesnt even over do it he literally will have like one glass of wine or something and lose his shit. renjun usually has to pry the drinks away from mark and lock them somewhere he will never find them. that’s how crazy mark is. (also renjun doesnt take him to any parties anymore)

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

i kind of said this in the beginning but mark likes to surprise renjun all the time. most of the time it’s stuffed animals so as you can imagine … renjun has a huge pile of stuffed animals. he loves them all and doesn’t have the heart to get rid of them.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

… renjun… sometimes he’ll introduce himself to a friend of mark’s like “hey lee renjun”. and mark is like ???? and the other person is like ???? so everyone is confused until renjun’s ears get red and he corrects himself. sometimes it just ends up with mark and renjun making out in a nearby closet or restroom because mark can’t resist how renjun just accidentally uses his last name as his own like that.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

mark HATES spiders but somehow renjun screams through bringing it outside on their balcony. it’s a funny sight because they both are quite afraid of the little creatures. BUT WHO ISN’T?

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

mark likes giving it to renjun and renjun likes receiving it. like i said before renjun likes wearing his clothing!!!

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

renjun’s older sister always threatens mark, even when she’s over at their place pretending everything is fine - renjun will go to the bathroom, leaving them alone and she … is one terrifying person. mark is literally afraid of her so he’ll just nod along and do whatever she says.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

it was mark. since they’ve known each other it wasn’t that hard for other people to see it coming. mark is head over heels for renjun and maybe renjun is a little oblivious - even when jaemin and jeno would tell him, he would be like “lol no but thanks”. so after a party at jeno and jaemin’s … mark has a little too much to drink and he sees renjun out on the balcony, staring at the city below. mark somehow makes his way to renjun. renjun is like “haha okay buddy, lets not be out here since you’re drunk and like it’s dangerous.” but mark stops him because the twinkling tealights that are surrounding them - they make renjun glow. he’s so pretty mark can’t resist. “i like you.” and you can figure it out from there. (nothing suggestive, it’s all fluff with these two).  

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

it would be cliche to think of renjun as the motherly figure and mark as a grumpy old dad. but that’s not them at all. please they’re still young, parenting is the last thing on their minds (plus i cant think of them like this yet). they live in the moment, making out in random places and cuddling during scary movies. sometimes drinking on school nights but who knows, they probably will be good parents someday.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

what does numbers as letters mean !!!!? they both are equally capable of writing with perfect grammar. mark loves to write, dude was going to be an english major. renjun is just smart. idk

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

if anyone is going to be attacked by a “bully” its going to be mark just because that boy is embarrassing and a klutz, so sometimes he says the wrong things at the wrong time. which is okay because mark is completely innocent and he’s really sweet so he doesn’t know what’s going on. renjun is the one who puffs out his chest and usually scares away the bullies. he doesn’t fight anyone he just scares the LIVING SHIT OUT OF THEM.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

mark has got to stop with the bad puns, renjun can’t keep fake smiling all the time. it’s exhausting.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

only with renjun’s consent because a puppy is a big responsibility !!! but yeah it’s mark who would. fucking sugar daddy esk pile of goofball.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

mark loves giving renjun piggyback rides. he’s small enough because mark doesn’t usually work out very often because work and college tires him out but he’s strong enough for renjun. and he usually picks him up when renjun comes home from a late shift and he just carries him to the bedroom to pepper him with kisses.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

mark plays … basketball and you bet renjun is the most supportive s.o. there. fucking yelling and cheering for his babe. mark gets a little embarrassed but when he sees renjun’s pretty face, he feels fueled enough to keep playing. uhm and he always wins…

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

renjun loves taking embarrassing pictures of mark because he thinks mark is quite ugly at times. (but his ugly boy, nobody can insult him except for him). so sometimes mark falls asleep on him and renjun can’t just pass up on this opportunity. there is a scrapbook going now with about a third full.  

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

renjun used to get it from his older sister all of the time and at some point he enjoyed it. so he begs mark if he can do it to him. sometimes he does his nails or plucks his eyebrows. his favorite part is the facemasks or … using the bath bombs together.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

renjun has a small dog at his parents’ house and mark is absolutely terrified of it because that thing can go from being cute to rabid and snarling in one second. for some reason it hates mark and mark hates being there. help him.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

mark just because he’s a tad bit taller and renjun doesn’t want to extend his arm for that giant. (mark isn’t really that tall… renjun is just bitter and lazy).

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures? 

one of those disney places. they would be so cute there please, that’s where dreams come true and happiness never dies. i want them to make a little video together   liKE A VLog oh my god, im crying inside. they would be so cute going on rides together. just imagine it. ~