#that he's from a small village somewhere nowhere where local worldview comes from the 20th century
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Me, talking to my best guy friend about any social topic ever:
oh my dude, we're both so fucked up, but in a different way ✨️💫
#no literally#like he's the type of guy to not so subtly look at a girl down the hall and say “look. that one with curly hair's pretty”#and if I didn't know him my default response to witnessing that would be “oh my fuck#another one of those dicks“#but I do know him#and I don't excuse that type of behavior#of course it's still harmful#and I know it's harmful to him as well#not in the same way it is harmful to women#but you see#in a different way#in a way that he cannot safely build profound emotional bonds with pretty much anyone#that he's from a small village somewhere nowhere where local worldview comes from the 20th century#with internalized messages of “you are abandonned and it's okay#you mum will only hug you until you're ten and then you're supposed to “grow some balls”#deal with it like a man#your friends won't hold you when life sucks#because you're not supposed to be emotionally vulnerable with anyone ever#we know the notion of “men are not supposed to cry” and we know it's harmful#we agree with that#but the discussion is rarely developed into talking about all the implications of this thing#men don't get to properly socialize amd most of them don't know them#when I first brought it up and talked about usual warrieness women express around men and the way it scars an individual#he said “yeah sure being in tension like this all the time must be...#and I said: “no. I meant for men#imagine how it fucks up men#and the dude just went: “oh.”
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