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bella-rose29 · 8 months

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Not Your Lover - Chapter 4

Not gonna lie to you my lovelies it feels like there's something off about this chapter but I can't figure out what :/ (and it's not just the creepy misogynistic bastard)

Word count: 4.8k

Warnings: swearing, mentions of stalking, mentions of trauma (from Nikolai), reader's mother is a bitch in this one not gonna lie, suggestive comments, sexist comments, Davor is also a bitch

Tag list: @a-candle-maker, @bubybubsters, @el-de-phi, @hauntedenthusiasttragedy, @iambored24601, @itsyoboo-jassy, @karensirkobabes, @kentucky-criedfricken, @little8sun, @mrsklockwood, @mvidaaaa, @nalie-98, @naushtheaspiringauthor, @notoakay, @pietromaximoffsbabe, @simbaaas-stuff

Click here to ask to be added to/removed from my Nikolai tag list! <3

(not my image)

It had been a week since the kiss.

Y/n was trying desperately to parade Dominik in front of Davor, making him see how happy she was with her new boyfriend, but Dominik wasn't having any of it.

"I just feel like an object, not your boyfriend," he said when she asked why he was so grouchy one afternoon. They'd managed to get the front door secured, and were currently working on making the front hall somewhat presentable. Y/n had planted flowers and trees out the front, and Dominik had started fixing the fountain.

"You're not my boyfriend though, so why does it matter? You're the one who started this whole thing anyway."

"Yeah, but not to be treated like your new pet that you want to show off to everybody. Anyway, it's not for much longer. What, three weeks?"

"Yeah," she replied, standing up and blowing a stray piece of hair out of her face. "Saints, this weed is stubborn as fuck." Her trowel wasn't doing much to help, and she'd resorted to pulling as hard as she could.

"Let me try," Dominik said, coming over to where she was frowning down at the root. He braced himself, getting a firm grip on the plant and pulling. Y/n couldn't help but stare at his forearms that had been bared when he'd rolled the sleeves of his shirt up earlier, and internally chastised herself for looking. The strain of him pulling against the weed wasn't helping her thoughts, and her gaze travelled over the rest of his body, blush creeping up onto her face as she wondered about how toned the rest of him was under his shirt. She was just about to offer to help when all of a sudden he fell backwards, letting out a yelp as he landed on his back on the floor, weed pulled free from the brickwork. "Got it!" He held it up triumphantly, smile wide. Y/n shook herself from her thoughts, ignoring the idea of him being on his back somewhere else, and scowled at him.

"Thanks. Bin please." She turned away to clear some more weeds.

~~~

Nikolai frowned at her abrupt change in mood. "You alright?"

"Fine. Bin."

"Alright," he sighed, pushing off of the floor and heading outside. It was pleasantly warm outside, but the manual labour had caused Nikolai and Y/n to work up a sweat, and he'd had to ignore the way she shined in the light. The demon was having a field day, pointing out every moment that Nikolai had a vaguely sexual thought about his fake girlfriend, and part of him wanted to bring the bastard out so that he could punch it.

The other part of him was busy trying to ignore the thoughts.

He'd just reached the bin when the demon growled in his head, and immediately Nikolai was alert, gaze drifting over to where the demon guided it. Davor was stood across the square, arms folded over his chest as he watched Nikolai. He raised a hand in greeting, but Davor didn't move, and Nikolai suppressed the chill he felt.

Going back inside, he must have looked shaken, as Y/n frowned at him.

"What's up with you?"

"Why did you ever go out with him? He's creepy as fuck."

"Oh. Is he doing that thing of standing across the square and staring at us?"

"Uh... yeah. How-"

"He's done it every day since we... since last week. I guess he's trying to figure out if we're lying or not. Are you scared of him? 'Cause you look like you're gonna piss yourself, I'm not gonna lie."

"I'm not going to piss myself. Also, why don't you report him? That's stalking, Y/n."

She shrugged. "Not the first time he's done it."

"Wha- Saints, okay." Nikolai pinched the bridge of his nose, unsure how she could be so nonchalant about her ex-boyfriend being a stalker. "You still haven't answered my question, though. Why'd you go out with him?"

She was quiet for a while, and Nikolai waited for so long that he half thought she hadn't heard him. He'd just moved to clear some more weeds when she spoke.

"Not that it's any of your business, at all, but he was the first guy that had ever shown an interest in me. I was twenty, which sucked, because even though this town is small, at least one other guy could have been interested, you know? I guess it's... he was nice, to start with. Listened to me, said nice things about me, was great with my mum. Then I told him I wanted to start work on this place and he turned into a dick. Well, actually, he turned into himself, if that makes sense. He was always a dick, he just hid it well. Said it was a stupid, childish dream and a dream was all it was. He also said that I'd never be able to do it because I'm a woman, so this is revenge."

Nikolai could only stare as she went on, saying everything so casually as she pulled up more weeds.

"He said that?"

"Yep."

"Asshole."

She looked up, surprise clear on her face. "You... what?"

"He's an asshole for saying that, any of it. I mean, who even says that you can't do something just because you're a woman? That's ridiculous! The fucking monarch is a woman!" Y/n let out a laugh at Nikolai's outrage, pure and unfiltered joy coming through. It was his turn to be surprised at the smile on her face, and his own smile formed. "I made you laugh."

"Don't get used to it," she breathed, coming down from her momentary high. "One-off kind of thing. Never happening again. Unless you face plant or something."

"Anything for you, darling," he said, grin growing wider. Y/n rolled her eyes, turning back to her work, but Nikolai didn't miss the way she was still smiling.

~~~

Two days later, Dominik was fixing the fountain, adding the parts he'd had to wait for before continuing, when Y/n kissed him.

When she'd pulled away, he'd stared at her stupidly, slightly dazed as she turned around and went back in the mansion. She'd muttered something about Davor watching them as she handed Dominik the tea she'd brought out for him, but she couldn't deny the way her heart skipped a beat at the feel of his lips on hers again. It was only the second kiss they'd shared, and this one was more of a peck than anything else, barely lasting two seconds, but it was enough to make her crave more. Going back in the mansion had been a way of hiding from him, but he'd walked in a few minutes later.

"Fixed it, just got to turn on the tap and it should be good." He ran a gloved hand through his hair, disturbing the golden locks but somehow making them look better than before. He seemed to hesitate, looking uncharacteristically unsure of himself as he stood fidgeting with a loose thread on one of his gloves.

"Why'd you wear those, anyway? The gloves."

He looked like she'd just asked him to strip naked and dance in the street, nothing but shock mixed with fear on his face. The expression lasted less than two seconds before he'd schooled it into something more neutral, but Y/n could see that he was shaken.

"Sorry, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to, Dominik. If it's a personal thing then that's fine. I was just confused, 'cause it's the middle of summer and you must get hot wearing them, so-"

"Nik."

Y/n blinked at him, frozen in the middle of her rambling. "What?"

"Just Nik is fine, I've told you before."

"Oh. Yeah. Okay." Saints, she was turning into Davor with her one word sentences.

"Did you fight in the war?" he asked, not looking at her. His eyes were focused on something in his memories, taking on a far away look.

"No. It barely touched us here. Some of the people went, fought in the First Army. Most of them didn't come back. Did you?" He nodded, almost in a daze.

"That's... that's why I wear the gloves. Sustained an injury. Doesn't stop me working and using my hands as normal, but they're not nice to look at," he said, bringing his focus onto his hands.

"Did... did it hurt? The injury?" Y/n didn't know why she was asking so many questions, since she was meant to not care about her fake boyfriend, but something about him being vulnerable like this was making her compare him to Davor again.

"Uh... sort of. More in a psychological sense. That doesn't make sense, does it?" he questioned, finally meeting her eyes. He was frowning, a slight notch between his eyebrows appearing, and Y/n wanted nothing more than to reach up and smooth it away with her fingers and tell him that everything would be alright. "The injury hurt, but losing myself hurt more. I couldn't do anything because of it, and I wasn't myself at all."

"Which part of the war did you fight in? Like, First Army, or helping refugees or something?"

"Front line." He sat down, pulling his legs up and resting his forearms on his knees. "Fought the Darkling directly."

Y/n felt her breath catch in her throat looking at the man in front of her who now seemed so much younger. He looked as though he'd shrunk into himself, and although she didn't like him, she felt bad for asking so many questions. They were quiet for a while, with Nik looking at the floor and Y/n looking at Nik, studying him and trying to figure him out. The sound of stones skittering across concrete made them jerk their heads towards the doorway and stand up, and from Nik's immediate response of moving closer to Y/n, she could hazard a guess at who was coming.

Davor appeared in the doorway, taking a look around the front hall with an air of superiority, and when his gaze landed on Y/n she was immediately glad that Nik had come to stand by her side. There was something unsettling about the way her ex was holding himself, and she couldn't help but wonder how she'd never noticed it while they were dating. Nik had placed himself just a fraction in front of her, angling his body so that he could see both Y/n and Davor, and she was comforted by his seemingly subconscious effort of protecting her. "You're going to fail. This will never work."

Nik snorted. "Who put you in charge of what Y/n can and can't do?"

"Nik," she muttered, placing a hand on his arm. She could really do without a fist fight between her ex and her fake boyfriend.

"I'm just saying. You could do it, sure. You're a grown man. She," he pointed at Y/n, "will fail. Because she is a woman, and women can't do this kind of thing." Typical, really, that the one sentence he said that was of regular length was misogynistic.

"Get out." Nik's voice was quiet, but Davor heard him anyway, his blink the only sign that he was surprised.

"What?"

"I said, get. Out." The quiet voice had turned into something akin to a growl, a depth that Y/n had never heard from Nik coming into his tone. She couldn't see his face, and from Davor's wide eyes she was glad of that. He looked genuinely frightened, and Y/n wondered just how terrifying Nik's face was at that moment. Davor did leave, almost in a hurry, and when Nik didn't turn around for a few seconds, Y/n started to panic.

"...Nik? You okay?" He took a deep breath, exhaling for a while, and turned around. Y/n searched his face for any sign of what had scared off her ex, but he was just... Nik. "What... how did you do that?"

"I'm very persuasive, darling. I think I'm going to go try the tap now, see if that fountain is working properly." He planted a kiss on her forehead, and left her standing in the middle of the entrance hall staring after him.

~~~

Nikolai had had to leave quickly after getting rid of Davor. He hadn't meant for the demon to make itself known, but hearing the man talk about Y/n like she was a woman and nothing more made both Nikolai and his demon bristle. He'd had to compromise; the demon had wanted to leave and bite Davor's face off, but Nikolai (while also wanting that) had decided that the best course of action would be to let it seep into his expression. He knew what Davor would have seen: his eyes turning completely black and his teeth sharpening, and watching the fear work its way onto the man's face was far more satisfying than it should have been. But the demon had taken a moment to retreat, and Nik knew that if he stayed around Y/n any longer he'd end up telling her everything. She'd looked genuinely concerned for him, despite her dislike of him, and Nikolai knew that he needed to leave. He'd pressed a kiss to her forehead (a mistake, really, since he couldn't stop thinking about doing it again), and left, and now he was turning the tap on for the fountain.

"Come on, stupid bastard, work." It was stuck, and even with his demon adding a little strength the damn thing wouldn't turn.

"You alright there, handsome?" He recognised the voice, but where from he wasn't sure. Turning around, he internally grimaced at the sight of the woman from the fair, the one who had stuck to him like a limpet and made him start this whole charade with Y/n. He searched for her name, racking his memories, but came up empty. She was leaning over the front wall (not a brilliant idea, most of it was still lose and at risk of making her topple over), clearly trying to accentuate certain parts of her body, and smiling at him.

"Yes, all fine, thanks." He moved to try the tap again, but she spoke up.

"Need a helping hand?" she asked, mock innocence on her face.

"He's fine, Evalina. Off you go." Y/n appeared, and Nikolai was grateful she'd picked that moment to come outside. She walked over to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist in a hug. "You got the tap working yet?" Nikolai felt his systems short-circuit.

"What are you doing?" he whispered furiously, a blush creeping up his neck. He never got like this around women (or anyone, really), so why was it happening with Y/n?

"What do you mean?" Now it was her turn to look innocent, despite the wicked gleam in her eyes.

"Your hand is on my ass, Y/n. What do you think I mean."

"Oh, really?" she feigned surprise. "I hadn't noticed. You don't mind, do you?"

Nikolai sighed. "You really don't like her, do you." It wasn't a question really, and she knew it. He brought his own arms around her, wrapping them tight around her waist and pulling her closer to him. They were chest to chest now, every part of them as close together as they could be, and Nikolai leaned down as if to kiss her.

"Not at all. She's called me some horrible things in the past. What are you doing, Nik?"

"You don't mind, do you?" he smirked, and he was so close to her he could feel her breath on his face and could brush her cheek with his nose.

"Stop being a pussy and kiss me already."

Evalina was watching intently, which made Nikolai hesitate for a split-second before he pressed his lips to Y/n's, but when they met he couldn't help the soft sigh that escaped him, and he forgot that they had an audience at all.

~~~

It was later that night that everything was almost ruined.

She'd been having dinner with her family (but not Nik, he had wisely decided to skip the meal with them), when her mother had asked about her relationship. Y/n had been busy thinking about certain events that had happened in the day, and trying desperately to not think about how good of a kisser Nik was, and had completely missed her mother's question.

"Y/n!"

"Hmm?" She jolted back to reality, the loud shout of her name startling her and making her fling some vegetables across the table in shock.

"I asked, have you and Nik been having any problems? As much as I love a perfect romance, you two must have had an argument or two?"

"Oh," Y/n said, all intelligent answers leaving her mind. What was she meant to say to that?! They were far from the perfect romance, given they weren't even in a relationship, but Y/n couldn't say that everything was fine without her mother prying for details. "Yeah, no, we're alright." She winced, having said the exact thing she knew she shouldn't.

"Just alright? What's happened? What's he done?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's just the stress of the building work, you know? Working in the heat all day isn't the best, and we just have little arguments about really stupid things. We're fine, really."

Her mother sighed, placing her cutlery down with a clink. "See, this is why I don't want you working on that building! You could have a much better life if you were focusing on your relationship instead of the mansion!"

"I'm working full days, mother, and so is he! I've got the bakery to think about, and he's in the garage every day, the only time we see each other is when we're working on the mansion!"

"That's the only time you see each other? So you don't... I don't know, go out on dates and stuff?"

"Uh- that's not... I didn't mean it like that, I just-"

"Darling, I think you need to take a break from building. Permanently. It's not good for your relationship. I mean, have you two even had sex?"

"Mother!"

"Y/m/n, I think that's a step too far," Y/n's father chimed in gently, and she was glad for the support. "You know how much this means to her, I don't think it's fair to take it back when you've given her a month. And we don't really need to know about her sex life, do we?"

"I would like to know! Have you?"

"No, we haven't, because we've been together for just over a week!"

"Well I'm revoking the approval of the council then."

Y/n sat in shock, plate of food long forgotten. "You're what?"

"I'm not allowing you to work on the building until you've worked on your relationship."

"Mother," Y/n started, at the same time her father said "That's not fair, Y/m/n."

"Prove that your relationship is better, and I'll consider letting you work again. But I want grandchildren in the next year, and I'm not letting anything stop that."

"Saints, mother. The time we spend together, Nik and I, working on that building, is the best part of my day. Not just because I'm doing something I love, but because I'm doing it with somebody I actually care about, and who cares about me. We've been together just over a week, so obviously we're not going to have had sex yet, because that's not the kind of relationship we have. I'm working on the building anyway, and so is Nik. We've got a deadline, and we're going to stick to it, your own ulterior motives be damned. I'm going out." Y/n stood up, chair scraping harshly across the floorboards.

"Where are you going? It's late, just sit back down, Y/n."

Y/n ignored her mother, heading for the front door. Pulling on a coat and grabbing her keys she left, not listening to the pleas of her family to stay and finish eating with them, and headed into the night.

~~~

Nikolai had been reading in bed, the demon curled up lazily in front of the fire, when somebody had knocked on his door. Motioning for the demon to hide (it didn't, just closed its eyes and went back to sleep like a dick), Nikolai moved toward the door, pulling it open a crack. His eyes widened as he took in the visitor, and he opened the door further, urging the demon to move its fucking arse.

"Y/n? What are you doing here? It's late."

"Fully aware of the time. Can I come in?"

"Uh..." Nikolai checked behind him, and saw the demon's tail disappear under the bed. "Sure. You okay?"

"Mother's being a bitch," she responded, flopping backwards onto the bed. "Ouch," she winced. "You're sleeping on this thing?"

"Slept on worse," he shrugged. "How did you know which room was mine?"

"Asked reception. Oh yeah, he gave me these," she reached into her coat pocket and chucked a packet of contraceptive tonics at him.

"Uh, why?"

"'Cause I said I was looking for my boyfriend. Normally when couples meet up in hotel rooms late at night it's to have sex, Nik. Are you gonna keep standing at the door looking like a loser?"

He shut the door, then panicked on seeing his bare hands. The black veins were less prominent, what with the demon not being in his body, but he placed the packet of tonics down and pulled the gloves on anyway.

"I don't mind, you know. If you don't wanna put the gloves on." Her voice was quiet, almost soft, and for a moment Nikolai could fool himself into thinking that they were actually together.

"No, it's okay. I'll be more comfortable like this. Why are you even here, anyway?"

"Ugh, don't." Y/n pressed her hands to her face, groaning as she thought about whatever it was that was troubling her. "Mother wants to stop the building work because we haven't fucked."

Nikolai stopped dead in his tracks, having been on his way to add another log to the fire. "She what?"

"Dinner was a shit show. She asked if we were having any problems, and I said we were fine, just had a couple of stupid arguments because of the heat and working in it, and then she wanted to know if we'd had sex, even though we've only been 'dating' for like a week, and when I said no she flipped and went crazy, and said that she was revoking my permission to work until we'd had sex."

"Right. And you... what, walked out and came here?"

"Yeah. Not sure why I came here, actually." She frowned up at the ceiling. "I guess 'cause you're the only other person who knows this isn't real. It's easier to talk to you about all of it." Nikolai came over to the bed, sitting back against the headboard like he had been before she'd come in. Y/n sat up, moving to sit opposite him at the other end of the bed.

"So... what do we do? Say we had sex and hope your mother believes us?"

"Could do. I did also sort of maybe say that we were gonna carry on anyway, so..." Nikolai laughed, unable to help himself. He barely knew this woman in front of him, and yet that was so typically her.

"Well I've got the day off tomorrow, I can stick around all day if you need me to?"

"Yeah, okay. Thanks, Nik. I've gotta open the bakery, and I imagine I'll have to be there late since it's a national holiday and everybody will want cake, but I'll try and come over after."

"No, no, nope. Not happening. You're getting rest if you're working longer hours. I'd really rather not have to explain to your family why you collapsed from exhaustion."

"Oh, mother will just think I can't stand up because of a different kind of physical activity, so that's fine."

Nikolai snorted, then forced the thought of those activities from his mind. "Seriously, though, don't come over tomorrow. I'll be fine on my own."

"Don't you start telling me not to work on my own fucking project, I've got someone doing that back at my house."

"That's not- I'm not trying to do that, I promise. If you like, you can come over and tell me everything I'm doing wrong while you sit on a chair and watch."

"Oh, that sounds amazing. Done," she replied, face lighting up at the prospect.

"You are so easy to please," he chuckled, leaning back against the headboard. "Are you going back tonight?"

"Honestly? I don't know. Most likely mother will be waiting for me, so I doubt it. It's at times like these I wish I was a Healer or Heartrender or something so I could make her fall asleep."

Nikolai studied her for a moment, and took a breath. "You could always stay here. I'll sleep in the chair if you like, and you can take the bed."

"You... no, you don't have to do that. I might not be your biggest fan, Nik, but I'm not gonna make you sleep in a chair."

"One, you're not making me, I'm offering. Two, I've slept in worse places. I was in the fucking army for Saints' sake."

Y/n frowned, mulling over his proposal. "Are you sure you don't mind me staying here?"

"As long as we don't need to open the tonics, yeah."

"Okay. But you're not sleeping in the chair. This bed is big enough for both of us and there are always way too many pillows in hotel rooms, so we can shove those down the middle."

"Alright," he responded, and he tried to ignore the way he could feel his demon laughing at him through the bed.

~~~

Y/n was panicking.

She hadn't shared a bed with anyone for over a year, and now she was going to be sleeping next to her fake boyfriend that she didn't like.

But then she remembered that the other option was going back to her house where her mother would ambush her the moment she stepped over the threshold, and decided she'd rather sleep in a bed next to Nik.

She'd caught a glimpse of his hands earlier, when she'd first come in, and the slightly strange ash colour of his veins had made her frown. It was an odd colour for a scar to be, so she had to assume that it was something the Darkling had done, since Nik had told her that afternoon that he'd fought the general directly. He'd put the gloves on again, and had seemed more at ease after that than he'd ever been, and a lot more relaxed. Whether that was because they weren't in public and didn't have to worry about pretending, or something else entirely, it was nice seeing more of the real Nik. It helped Y/n figure out just how much like Davor he was, and frustratingly the number of differences between them were growing every day.

The atmosphere had been awkward since they'd finally laid down, pillow wall between them, and the silence was almost deafening. She'd felt weirdly domestic getting ready for bed with him, and they moved around each other like they'd been doing it their whole lives. But now they were in a weird middle ground, where it didn't feel wrong, but it also didn't feel right.

Y/n shifted again, trying to get comfortable on the incredibly uncomfortable mattress (seriously, how was Nik sleeping on this every night?), and Nik huffed from the other side of the pillows.

"Are you sure you don't mind me being here? I can still go and get in the chair if you'd prefer?" he whispered, turning to face her.

"No, you're fine, it's the mattress. It's the lumpiest fucking thing I've ever laid on in my life," she grumbled, and in the low light of the dying fire she saw Nik smile. The pillows were mostly deflated after many years of use, so didn't do much in the way of creating a barrier, and they were able to see each other over their makeshift wall.

"You'll get used to it, I'm sure."

"Oh, thanks. What wise words they are indeed," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Nik chuckled lightly, and Y/n's heart fluttered in her chest at the sound. She turned away from him onto her side, trying to ignore the feeling. Catching feelings for this man would only lead to heartbreak and pain, and Y/n refused to let that happen to her again.

Willing herself to go to sleep, she squeezed her eyes shut, hoping Nik would get the message and do the same, and before she knew it she was waking up to the morning sun coming in through the curtains.

Chapter 5

#grishaverse #netflix shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai lanstov x y/n #nikolai x y/n

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