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gatheringbones · 3 years

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favorite quotes from this episode:

“…but in my own life, with my particular history of being an Eastern European Jew who was born into the Second World War and its traumas. And then my family has been devastated by the genocide, and then growing up in communist Hungary, as a child. And I have to say that the communist system was brutal and dictatorial as it was, on the ideological level, taught social caring and social justice at its ideals. So you had a system that inculcated a certain sense of social justice, at the same time is trampling all over it, then real practice. So the question, Why are things the way they are? And why do people do these terrible things to each other? And why do people have to suffer but don’t deserve to suffer? These questions have been agitating me ever since I was a child. And of course, that naturally extends into the types of medicines. Why do people suffer? And what are the sources of suffering?”

“Now you have to have an ideology that explains to you why we have the right to do this. And the ideology is both religious and now we have the right religion, so we can slaughter them in the name of Jesus. And literally, if you read the histories of Latin America, you can’t kill people if they don’t know about Jesus. But if you tell them about Jesus and they don’t succumb, then you have pagans. And now you can kill them. So literally, the Spanish would arrive in some coastal village, read out in Latin, or Spanish, some Christian doctrine, if the natives didn’t agree, now, you could slaughter them, literally, this is how they saw it. So those are religious superiority, and then the racial one that we have because they are inferior we have the right to control them dominate and kill them or enslave so that the concept of race was a fairly recent development in tandem with the rise of capitalism and its need to dominate other nations internationally, in other people. By the way, if you look at the history of American policing, you know about the policing roles? I don’t want to talk about the racial bias in police practice, but policing in the states started off as slave patrols to capture and control escaped slaves, that was its origin. So these things that we take for granted, they all have historical origin, which relate to the nature of the system, as structural as your friend said.”

(In response to the question of “Is there a possibility that’s not just a utopian fantasy for all of us to have opportunity and care for each other?”) It’s interesting. I grew up as a fervent proponent so that in school assemblies, when the principal would mention the party leader, there’s like a cue, and they would all stand up and clap. Long live Mátyás Rákosi, Rákosi was the name of the Hungarian mini Stalin that ruled the country and long lived the party and I was fully enthusiastic about it. And then I remember in 1955 when I was 11 years old, there’s a block meeting organized by the party. And I was given this poem to recite, and I did recite it with my fist raised in the air, chanting or trembling you lords of Wall Street, now, I had no idea what Wall Street was or where it was. So then comes the Hungarian revolution in 1956, where the country rolls against the communist system, the dictatorial nature of the inequality, the brutality of it, and against the Soviet occupation. And all of a sudden, I realized that what I believed in was a total illusion that I bought into some kind of a dream, you know, when I was 13. And so the Soviets who had saved my life as an infant in defeating the Germans, now and who I had idolized all my life as a child, now becomes the enemy and the oppressor. So they come to the west, and the Americans become the heroes. And I remember traveling to Germany, seeing these khaki clothes, the neck and servicing them, seeing them as the protectors and the heroes, that was the 1950s, early 1957. And then Wall Street becomes the symbol of prosperity. And American capitalism becomes the symbol of democracy, freedom and protection. That’s 1957. And then, by the early 60s, 5, 6, 7 years later I was at the Vietnam War. And I thought, I see these American heroes democracy slaughtering millions of Asians in the name of a complete lie. And then I started looking at history. And I started looking at how virtually every single one of American wars there were wars of expansion and aggression, starting with the Mexican-American war. And then the annexation of Texas and then the Spanish-American War and the war in the Philippines and extermination of local resistance, the multiple interventions in Latin American ever since in the name of freedom, is support of the dictatorships like Somoza, Nicaragua, and Battista in Juba. And this continues, I’m gonna give you guys a fact and easy to look this up. You don’t have to take my word for it. But if I asked you, you guys, progressive, open minded people aware Americans, how many people were slaughtered in Guatemala in the 1990s? Not that long ago. with American support? Could you tell me a figure? A 100,000, and you don’t even nobody, you know, you don’t have to take my word for it. You can really look this up in research. And if I’m wrong, let me know. But I know I’m not wrong. Between 80,000 to 100,000, mostly indigenous presence. I could go on and on and on. And so what I came to realize is that everything that the Soviets had said about Americans was true. Not Americans as the people but the American system as racists, as imperialists, and so on. And everything that the Americans said about the Soviets was also true, brutal, dictatorship, exploitative, dishonest, everything they said about each other was true. And everything they said about themselves was a lie. That’s what I found out. So then the question becomes, is there some way out? Well, I happen to think there is not that I’m here to describe it, but that the very fight that we’re talking about, and people are always interested in the truth. And there’s an innate desire in people for freedom, whether they know it or not, there’s an innate desire for freedom and for truth. So I believe in it.”

#gabor mate #brainspace #wasteland radio #history stuff

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mypoisonedvine · 4 years

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Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (Chapter 1)

for @evnscvll‘s 3k celebration challenge, I immediately broke the rules and took only one prompt: Love, Actually. then I made it into a series. oops. but she made me that lovely moodboard anyways!

summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind. you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman-- even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: mention/description of infidelity, awkwardness, me teasing y’all by making this a slow burn

(quick note: I’m not fluent in romanian but I did my best to translate the dialogue as accurately as possible, rather than as literally as possible. if you don’t speak it I would recommend not translating seb’s lines so you get the full experience of having no idea what he’s saying just like the reader in the story but I won’t tell you how to live your life)

You usually trusted your intuition, but up until now you'd convinced yourself that you were being paranoid by worrying about your husband. Trusting him was more important than anything, and definitely more important than a strange feeling in your gut that something was wrong.

The sad thing is, you would've never guessed that he was having an affair with your sister. Not in a million years. All the sneaking around, the strange stories that didn't add up… you would've put your money on a secret gambling addiction (pun unintended but welcome), or maybe that he'd secretly lost his job.

But even with all your suspicion, all your low self-esteem, all your fear that he was too good for you… nothing could've prepared you to walk in and see him with his face between your sister's legs.

He didn't even do that to you; he said he didn't like the taste. You realized now, as you stared out the window of the train at the trees flying by, that that should've been a red flag from the start. For a man who had claimed to be a feminist, things were never really equal in your house. You both worked full time but you were saddled with more chores; you made more money than he did, but for some reason, you found yourself asking for his approval on large purchases; and of course, whenever you'd talked about children, he'd always just assumed you would stay at home forever and do most of the child-rearing. He told you that you'd need to handle them when he was too tired from work-- but what about when you were tired from watching them all damn day while he was working?

God, you needed to stop thinking about this. If you cried on this train people would probably look at you funny and you did not need that right now. You couldn’t take any more reasons to believe people dislike you. Even as much as you wanted to say that you didn't want or need your husband’s approval anymore, you still felt so shitty, so fundamentally worthless that he'd chosen your sister over you. He hadn't wanted to touch you in months. You wondered if it had been going on longer than that: when you'd blown him after that company party half a year ago, were you putting your mouth on something that had been in your sister's--?

"Something to drink, madam?" the attendant asked as she rolled by with her cart, pulling you from a very dangerous cycle of thought.

You jumped a little and looked over to her as she smiled at you-- no hint of judgment or confusion as you wiped a tear away. In her shoes, you would be nosy and want to know more about the woman crying on the train. Then again, maybe it was obvious to her: a woman, alone, who bought the last ticket just before the train left, carrying only a small briefcase and a few hastily-packed suitcases… a woman with nothing to lose, going nowhere as fast as possible. Could it be anything but her having been done wrong by a man?

"Tea, please," you nodded with a smile of your own-- weaker than hers, more awkward. You'd make a bad stewardess.

"Black or green?"

You didn't trust them to steep the green tea at the proper temperature, so you asked for black and nodded in thanks when she handed you the warm paper cup and rolled on by to the next passenger.

What really made your head spin, you considered as you sipped at your drink, was not your husband’s actions but your sister’s. You remembered when you were both teenagers and her boyfriend had cheated on her, she’d gotten so upset with the girl he’d done it with rather than him. You had thought that was ridiculous because the girl didn’t owe her anything. You understood better now, and of course, your sister did owe you something. You two had had your rough patches but overall, she’d been your best friend for most of your life. So much so that she was the one you went to when you were worried about your husband. She told you to give him space. You would’ve never imagined that was her way to get you to back off, to cover her own sins and give her more freedom to shag your husband in your goddamn bed.

Yes, that was the real betrayal. Lots of people have ex-husbands, but you couldn’t exactly turn her into an ex-sister. You were stuck with her, but you had no plan as of yet to face her again.

The night in the sleeper car was restless, literally. It was so dark out that you couldn’t see the trees or mountains anymore, but if you focused really hard and made sure to turn off every light in your room, you could just barely see the stars in the sky. You hoped that you would have plenty of time to spend looking at the stars once you reached your destination. As much as you’d loved the city lights of London for the past several years, you really needed to be somewhere that was actually dark at night. And where the air was clean. And, best of all, where nobody knew who the fuck you were.

You stepped out of the train and onto the platform, feeling very much like you were surrounded by people ending their stories-- reuniting with loved ones, finishing vacations-- while yours was just beginning. Well, you supposed it made sense that most of the people travelling from London to Nyíregyháza, Hungary were probably from Nyíregyháza, Hungary. Unlike you, who had only been here once while backpacking through the area in college and fallen in love with it. You were lucky that the owner of the secluded cottage you’d crashed at back then had picked up the phone when you called from the train; you were especially lucky that she was willing to pick you up from the station, you not being quite dressed or prepared for backpacking.

Exiting the station and finding the cobblestone street, you were nearly tackled by a portly old woman as she tried to get your attention.

“Mrs. Alberti?!” you asked with wide eyes.

“You should at least pretend I haven’t aged a day,” she frowned, her words coated with her thick Hungarian accent.

“I was just surprised that you’re still running the cottage! I figured you and Mr. Alberti retired ages ago,” you explained, following her back to her car and putting your luggage in the boot.

She seemed a little crestfallen, wistfully considering your assumption. “Well, it’s not quite what it used to be but yes, I am still the owner. Sadly, Mr. Alberti passed away several years back.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that,” you replied, hoping to be as comforting as reasonably possible, “he was such a sweet man.”

“Yes, but he had a long illness-- and before that, lived a very full life,” she smiled confidently, walking to the driver’s seat as you followed along the other side and got in the passenger.

“It’s too bad he won’t get to see you again, though,” she continued as she started the vehicle. Considering how old it looked, you were impressed that it worked on the first try. “He would’ve been amazed to have a repeat customer from somewhere so far away. I certainly am!”

“Yes, well, I have great memories from staying in the villa, and decided to go in search of some of the lust for life that I had back then-- chasing after youth never backfires, right?” you joked.

“I wouldn’t know,” she replied with a smirk.

You knew you were getting close to the old house when the roads turned from asphalt, to cobblestone, to gravel, and finally to dirt. As much as you figured trees and grass looked basically the same everywhere, you appreciated that it somehow managed to look totally different than England. Maybe it was the scattering of blue wildflowers, or the way the wilderness was dominating the few signs of human existence rather than the other way around. Driving it was different than hiking it, certainly, and you wondered if you would find the time or energy to climb the foothills on the other side of the lake like you had before. Maybe you didn’t want to find out how much athletic ability you’d lost since college…

“Here we are!” she announced as she made one last turn and yep, there it was: a lonely stone cottage, with flowers all along the walls and pink wooden shutters.

You could tell it had aged since it had looked how you remembered, but if anything it had gained a quaint charm, with its moss and ivy and old trees which sagged under their own weight. Figuring you would have more time to take in the scenery in the indefinite time you planned to spend here, you decided to make good time and gather your things first.

As you opened the boot and reached in to grab your luggage, someone appeared beside you and pushed your hands aside, saying something that you couldn’t parse at all. You stepped aside and realized that it was a young man-- not horrifically young or anything, but certainly… strapping. He shot you a smile, and you couldn’t think of the last time somebody had looked at you with so much joy on their face.

“Oh, thank you,” you nodded, letting him lift your suitcases (which he did with ease, just to make it all extra cruel).

“This is Sebastian-- he lives here and does odd jobs for me,” Mrs. Alberti informed you, "Don't waste your time talking to him; he doesn't speak a word of English."

"Oh, he only speaks Hungarian?" You turned to him again; "Szia, hogy vagy?"

He shook his head and smiled awkwardly.

"No dear, he only speaks Romanian," Mrs. Alberti explained with a laugh. "Can't you tell I can only afford to run this place by using cheap immigrant labour?"

"Salut," he greeted. At least you could figure what that meant. You chuckled uncomfortably and looked to the ground.

You followed Sebastian and Mrs. Alberti into the house, admiring how little the interior decorations had changed-- it was all macrame and flowers in old-fashioned ceramic vases, with lots of oddball Hungarian trinkets to round it all out. Perhaps the only thing you could notice that was different was new floorboards.

“You like the new floor?” Mrs. Alberti asked, as if she were reading your mind. “Sebastian put that in for me.”

Sebastian seemed to perk up as he set your bags down briefly, clearly aware he was being talked about.

“Remember?” Mrs. Alberti addressed him, motioning to the floor. “You put in the new floor, huh? Új emelet?”

You wondered why she’d seemed to laugh at you for trying to speak Hungarian to him, when she was doing the same thing.

“Da,” he smiled, pressing his shoe down onto the floor to apparently demonstrate the lack of creaking. “Ți-am făcut un etaj nou.”

“Alright, go ahead and take her bags upstairs,” Mrs. Alberti instructed him, motioning to the luggage and then to the staircase. He nodded and picked them up again, starting to walk across the room. “He knows where your room is, just follow him,” she told you.

The stairs, unlike the new floor, did creak, and you weren’t sure how far behind you were supposed to be on the staircase to avoid having his ass right at eye level. You didn’t want to stare at it… but either the jeans were doing him a lot of favours, or Mrs. Alberti’s ‘odd jobs’ do a body good. Maybe a little bit of both.

He used his back to push open the door to your room, setting your bags just inside before turning to leave again, like he thought it would be rude to step inside.

“Wait,” you requested, but he kept going-- probably the whole ‘not understanding English’ thing. God, you were going to look so stupid at least a few more times trying to get through to this guy, you could sense it. Forced to get his attention another way, you reached out and grabbed his arm; not hard, but it was definitely a slightly aggressive thing to do anyways. It worked, though, and he turned around with an expectant look. “Could you help me unload?” you asked, gesturing towards the bags.

His brow knitted with confusion as he tilted his head. You sighed, not sure exactly how to pantomime this.

“One of my bags,” you began, pointing to one of them, “is heavy--” a lifting motion-- “could you--” you pointed to him-- “unpack it?”

That seemed to make more sense to him, and he stepped back into the room with you. “Voi încerca,” he said, somewhat to himself, as you opened the suitcase. Inside was your typewriter; he nodded with understanding and scooped it up.

“Unde?” he asked, and regardless of what it meant, you were going to show him where to put the typewriter anyways.

“Just over there, the table by the window,” you pointed to it. He nodded again and walked past you, setting it down, and even adjusting it a little to make sure it was centered.

“Thank you!” you piped up when he turned back to you. And just like that, you were plunged back into awkward silence. You pointed to him, and then the typewriter as you pantomimed typing. “Can you type?” He seemed to understand what you meant.

“Nu,” he shook his head, “când eram mic, trebuiau înregistrați anual.”

“...huh,” you mumbled, not sure what to do with that.

“Plec acum,” he announced as he started to step past you again.

You cleared your throat and let him walk out the doorway. “Right, um, have a good afternoon…”

He gave a little wave as he walked down the hall, and you sighed once he was out of sight and making his way down the creaking stairs. You impressed yourself with your ability to embarrass yourself constantly, even with total strangers. But, all that aside, you were finally ready to settle in and properly enjoy your change of scenery.

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan rpf #sebastian stan au #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastan stan x you

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szalacsi · 3 years

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history

“I’m from Malaysia.

China has traded with Malaysia for 2000 years. In those years, they had been the world’s biggest powers many times. Never once they sent troops to take our land.

Admiral Zhenghe came to Malacca five times, in gigantic fleets, and a flagship eight times the size of Christopher Columbus’ flagship, Santa Maria. He could have seized Malacca easily, but he did not.

In 1511, the Portuguese came.

In 1642, the Dutch came.

In the 18th century the British came.

We were colonised by each, one after another.

When China wanted spices from India, they traded with the Indians. When they wanted gems, they traded with the Persian. They didn’t take lands. The only time China expanded beyond their current borders was in Yuan Dynasty, when Genghis and his descendants Ogedei Khan, Guyuk Khan & Kublai Khan concurred China, Mid Asia and Eastern Europe. Yuan Dynasty, although being based in China, was a part of the Mongolian Empire.

Then came the Century of Humiliation. Britain smuggled opium into China to dope the population, a strategy to turn the trade deficit around, after the British could not find enough silver to pay the Qing Dynasty in their tea and porcelain trades.

After the opium warehouses were burned down and ports were closed by the Chinese in ordered to curb opium, the British started the Opium War I, which China lost. Hong Kong was forced to be surrendered to the British in a peace talk (Nanjing Treaty).

The British owned 90% of the opium market in China, during that time, Queen Victoria was the world’s biggest drug baron. The remaining 10% was owned by American merchants from Boston. Many of Boston’s institutions were built with profit from opium.

After 12 years of Nanjing Treaty, the West started getting really really greedy. The British wanted the Qing government:

1. To open the borders of China to allow goods coming in and out freely, and tax free.

2. Make opium legal in China. Insane requests, Qing government said no.

The British and French (with supports from the US), started Opium War II with China, which again, China lost.

The Anglo-French military raided the Summer Palace, and threatened to burn down the Imperial Palace, the Qing government was forced to pay with ports, free business zones, 300,000 kilograms of silver and Kowloon was taken.

Since then, China’s resources flew out freely through these business zones and ports. In the subsequent amendment to the treaties, Chinese people were sold overseas to serve as labor.

In 1900, China suffered attacks by the 8-National Alliance (Empire of Japan, Russian Empire, British Empire (including India), France, USA, Germany, Italy, Austria-Hungary).

Innocent Chinese civilians in Peking (Beijing now) were murdered, buildings were destroyed & women were raped. The Imperial Palace was raided, and treasures ended up in museums like the British Museum in London and the Louvre in Paris.

In late 1930s China was occupied by the Japanese in WWII. Millions of Chinese died during the occupancy. 300,000 Chinese died in Nanjing Massacre alone. Mao brought China together again from the shambles. There were peace and unity for some time. But Mao’s later reign saw sufferings and deaths from famine and power struggles.

Then came Deng Xiao Ping and his infamous 'black-cat and white-cat' story. His preference in pragmatism than ideologies has transformed China. This thinking allowed China to evolve all the time to adapt to the actual needs in the country, instead of rigidly bounded to ideologies. It also signified the death of Communism in actually practice in China.

The current Socialism+Meritocracy+Market Economy model fits the Chinese like gloves, and it propels the uprise of China. Singapore has a similar model, and has been arguably more successful than Hong Kong, because Hong Kong being gateway to China, was riding on the economic boom in China, while Singapore had no one to gain from.

In just 30 years, the CPC have moved 800 millions of people out from poverty. The rate of growth is unprecedented in human history. They have built the biggest mobile network, by far the biggest high speed rail network in the world, and they have become a behemoth in infrastructure. They made a fishing village called Shenzhen into the world’s second largest technological centre after the Silicon Valley.

They are growing into a technological power house. It has the most elaborate e-commerce and cashless payment system in the world. They have launched exploration to Mars. The Chinese are living a good life and China has become one of the safest countries in the world.

The level of patriotism in the country has reached an unprecedented height. For all of the achievements, the West has nothing good to say about it. China suffers from intense anti-China propagandas from the West. Western Media used the keyword “Communist” to instil fear and hatred towards China.

Everything China does is negatively reported. They claimed China used slave labor in making iPhones. The truth was, Apple was the most profitable company in the world, it took most of the profit, leave some to Foxconn (a Taiwanese company) and little to the labor.

They claimed China was inhuman with one-child policy. At the same time, they accused China of polluting the earth with its huge population. The fact is the Chinese consume just 30% of energy per capita compared to the US.

They claimed China underwent ethnic cleansing in Xinjiang. The fact is China has a policy which priorities ethnic minorities. For a long time, the ethnic minorities were allowed to have two children and the majority Han only allowed one. The minorities are allowed a lower score for university intakes. There are 39,000 mosque in China, and 2100 in the US.

China has about 3 times more mosque per muslim than the US. When terrorist attacks happened in Xinjiang, China had two choices:

1. Re-educate the Uighur (CENSUDED by Youtube) before they turned (CENSUDED by Youtube). (**Here I could not copy the exact word, since today it is censored by YouTube if I write it next to the indicated ethnicity. It is the one used to identify those crazy people who are killing people thinking that by doing this they will be able to go to paradise**).

2. Let them be, after they launch attacks and killed innocent people, bomb their homes. China chose 1 to solve problem from the root and not to do killing.

How the US solve terrorism? Fire missiles from battleships, drop bombs from the sky.

During the pandemic, When China took extreme measures to lockdown the people, they were accused of being inhuman.

When China recovered swiftly because of the extreme measures, they were accused of lying about the actual numbers.

When China’s cases became so low that they could provide medical support to other countries, they were accused of politically motivated. Western Media always have reasons to bash China. Just like any country, there are irresponsible individuals from China which do bad things, but the China government overall has done very well.

But I hear this comment over and over by people from the West: I like Chinese people, but the CPC is evil. What they really want is the Chinese to change the government, because the current one is too good.

Fortunately China is not a multi-party democratic country, otherwise the opposition party in China will be supported by notorious NGOs (Non-Government Organization) of the USA, like the NED (National Endowment for Democracy), to topple the ruling party.

The US and the British couldn’t crack Mainland China, so they work on Hong Kong. Of all the ex-British colonial countries, only the Hong Kongers were offered BNOs by the British. Because the UK would like the Hong Kongers to think they are British citizens, not Chinese.

A divide-and-conquer strategy, which they often used in Color Revolutions around the world. They resort to low dirty tricks like detaining Huawei’s CFO & banning Huawei. They raised a silly trade war which benefits no one. Trade deficit always exist between a developing and a developed country.

USA is like a luxury car seller who ask a farmer: why am I always buying your vegetables and you haven’t bought any of my cars? When the Chinese were making socks for the world 30 years ago, the world let it be.

But when Chinese started to make high technology products, like Huawei and DJI, it caused red-alert. Because when Western and Japanese products are equal to Chinese in technologies, they could never match the Chinese in prices.

First world countries want China to continue in making socks. Instead of stepping up themselves, they want to pull China down. The recent movement by the US against China has a very important background.

When Libya, Iran, and China decided to ditch the US dollar in oil trades, Gaddafi’s was killed by the US, Iran was being sanctioned by the US, and now it’s China’s turn. The US has been printing money out of nothing. The only reason why the US Dollar is still widely accepted, is because it’s the only currency which oil is allowed to be traded with.

The US has an agreement with Saudi that oil must be traded in US dollar ONLY. Without the petrol-dollar status, the US dollars will sink, and America will fall.

Therefore anyone trying to disobey this order will be eliminated. China will soon use a gold-backed crypto-currency, the alarms in the White House go off like mad.

China’s achievement has been by hard work. Not by looting the world. I have deep sympathy for China for all the suffering, but now I feel happy for them. China is not rising, they are going back to where they belong. Good luck China.”

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angeldolanx · 4 years

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Chapter 23. /- treat yourself/

01.03.'20

"You need to tell everything" said Corinna probably the 5th times today. I felt bad for not spending as much time with her like before, so I thought we could have a little girly day. We went to get our lash extensions done first, and later went to a restaurant for launch.

" What do you wanna hear?" I asked while we sat in the restaurant's balcony and read the menu to try to pick something for myself.

"First are you together? Like official?"

"No, I mean I don't know. We never said we are a couple, but we act like it" I replied that made her frown her brows. " I am gonna be gone in less then a year Corinna, maybe it's gonna be easier if it's not official or I don't know. It's hard" I sighed.

"A million and one people lives in a long distance relationship even from their husbands. It can work" she shook her head. "Of course it's not gonna be easy, but I think you two can work it out. "

"We will see I guess."

Our depressing conversation thank god was interrupted by the waiter who took our orders. I hate that I always need to worry about something in every single one of my life stages. I can't wait for the moment when I live with my husband in a happy relationship while I am pregnant in our home somewhere and I don't need to worry about whats gonna happen in a year or two.

Everytime I thought about the end of the year, when I am gonna go home, I wanted to stop the time and didn't wanted to realize that the weather is started to get warmer as we went to the spring. I don’t even wanna think about how fast time can go and all I’m gonna realize soon is that it’s summer and there is the winter when I leave everything here. I always tried to not talk about it to anyone, and even if I thought about it I tried to distract myself. It was easier like this.

"When you first mentioned Grayson as a "celebrity crush" I've never have thought that he is gonna be your almost boyfriend a year later" grinned Corinna and took a sip from his limonade.

"I secretly hoped" I bit my lip, while my eyes moved from Corinna to the streets behind her. I saw myself from one year ago on those streets, I was so lost and didn't know what's the future is gonna bring. She would probably look at my today self as I laugh carefree in a restaurant's balcony and be jealous as hell. " You know I always love to get what I want."

" You need to teach me this" she laughed.

"You should be more confident first. The boys love that, and the girls gonna hate you for that " I said. I really thought this is the case though for real. I realized when I started to take care of myself and of my body it had a good impact on my life. I hate hearing things from teenagers like, omg I hate myself, I am ugly or anything. I never in my life said the word ugly to myself, I love myself way too much to say that and no one should do it either. If you don't love yourself first nooe can either. You need to accept how you look and then show the word how unique and beautiful you are. No not perfect, but beautiful. And it's not about weight, height or hair or skin color. It's about you.

After we finished our lunch we ended up going to the mall. We looked around in a few shops and bought some things, since the spring and summer was already on our neck. Every time there is a gap between meeting Corina I always realize why is she my best friend. Maybe if she wasn't here, I would have never end up with Grayson and my life would be a lot more boring in general. I was glad she was in my life.

Our last destination was a Victoria's Secret store. Corinna already teased me for even coming here, but I just tried to handle her and say I only wanna see the Pink sanction for some lounge wear to the house. Her grin was not even surprising when I ended up at the sexy lingerie section after the hoodies were in my hands.

" Is the prince has a specific desire?" asked Corinna jokingly.

"I buy this for myself, you fool " I rolled my eyes. I didn't even wanna mention that her sentence made me remember that Gray's favorite lingerie color is red, so I looked in that direction more. When I found a really cute and scandalous two peace and searched for my size, I gave my stuff to Corinna and went to the dressing room with it in my hand.

I really liked how the lingerie fit me, after I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror. It had enough push up to make my boobs look bigger and rounder, and since the whole thing was lace, from close not much left to the imagination either on the high waisted thongs, but maybe enough to Grayson to make his imagination move around a bit. So with these thoughts in my mind I picked up my phone from my bag and stepped in front of the mirror. I pushed my hips slightly to the side, squeezed my stomach in and placed the other hand in my hair that I throw to one side. After I took a few picture I dressed up and I ended up sitting down in the dressing room to pick my favorite photo, that I could send to him.

Me: I like this set :) - I added the innocent massage next to it and bit my lip as I pressed the send button. I ended up putting my phone in my bag and was not even surprised on Corinna's angry look, because she needed to wait for me so much. I just took my stuff from his hands and went to the cashier with her on my side.

We spent the whole day walking around, it was not surprised that we ended up tired a bit so from the shop we went straight to Corinna's car.

While she concentrated to driving I took my phone again and opened Grayson's massage to my photo.

Grayson: how many times do you wanna cum today?

His massage made my stomach flip and I needed to press my thighs together while I tried to hold back my giggle. I bit my lip to cover that stupid grin on my face, and shook my head because of his crazy massage.

Me: since I sleep at Corinna's today, ew none - I replied since I promised her that this whole day is hers without boys.

Grayson: i hope you wish i was in you right now, angel

First I just saw the massage but then when the picture popped up I thought, fuck it, I am coming over for an hour. For real though, his massage and the picture sent tingling feeling all over my body. He really knew how to hit back because of my picture. He looked like a fucking goddess, and even the thought that he was sweaty from working out but he probably would look like this after a few hours with me in the bedroom too, made me really wish to sleep in his house today instead of Corinna's.

"God, M" said suddenly Corinna.

"Hm?"

"I need a man he makes me grin on my phone like you now " she looked at me.

"Shut up. How do you know I'm not texting to i don't know, my mom?"

"Probably because it's in the middle of the night in Hungary and I am sure you are not blushing from your mom's massages" she laughed.

"I am not" I giggled and checked myself in the car's mirror to make sure my foundation covered my red face well. "I don't know what you are talking about" I added when I saw everything is fine and the coverage saved me from getting caught.

"I fucking know you" she rolled her eyes and just shook her head while laughed at me for not admitting that she was right. I was glad he didn't saw Gray's massages.

Me: fuck..i wish - I replied to Grayson and ended up putting my phone away before anything else happens. I didn't wanted to talk about it more with Corinna either.

We planned that our night is gonna be a lazy chilling night. We watched a movie, but we basically didn't even payed attention because we kept talking next to our glass of rose. We really needed to catch up in a lot of things even though we always talked on the phone every day, but it was not the same.

Our night turned a bit crazy probably around two am when we got tipsy and went down in our pjs to in front of Corinna's house, where were a playground with a swing. It was probably ten years ago when I set in a swing the last time, but I really enjoyed how the wind caught my hair when I pushed myself away. That's why I loved being around Corinna. I never had to control myself, I just knew I can do anything, she is gonna understand it and probably do the same thing. We completed each other and I was really grateful for her stepping into my life. There was a phase in my life when I haven't really had real friends. I've had a lot of buddys, but I felt like if i would be in trouble the only people I could have called is my family. Now I know the error wasn't in me, I just didn't searc in the right place.

"Are you in love, like for real?" she asked now in a more serious voice. I smiled and slowed down with my swing till we both stopped and just sat next to each other while we talked.

" I am really into him. It's crazy " I giggled.

" It's fine, I am happy for you. You really deserve it finally."

"It's just new and weird. I don't need to play around and I just know he loves me and I never experienced anything like this " I replied. The light smile never faded from my face every time I thought about him and I wished he would be in front of me just to give him a big hug. Only a few days went since we saw each other, but I already felt like I started to miss him. We loved that both of us had their own life, we don't spent every single day together and still had time to everyone else around us.

"The strong and independent M, who is now melting from a boy. Who would've thought?"

- treat yourself√

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dinosaurzealot · 7 years

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Tagged by @softshadowmoon!!! Thank you!!!

Name: Elyssa but actually I’m rebranding soon and I’ll be going by Elle, too! But it’s your choice which you want to use!

Zodiac sign: Pisces

Height: 5′2″

Orientation: Biromantic asexual but I prefer to just say queer

Nationality: American (East Coast)

Favorite fruit: ALL (red apples, bananas, grapes, strawberries, and pineapple especially)

Favorite season: FALL by a million miles; I also love winter, and spring is great, and summer is my least favorite but I still love it!

Favorite book: The Secret Garden, definitely and always

Favorite flower: Daffodils! And sunflowers, roses, and lilacs

Favorite scent: Clean laundry, campfires, Old Spice, Laila perfume

Favorite color: Forest green and bright orange

Favorite animal: Foxes, otters, elephants, tigers, and bunnies

Coffee, tea, or hot cocoa: Tea! I also like hot chocolate, but rarely. I don’t drink coffee.

Average sleep hours: 6.5! That’s my FitBit goal

Cat or dog person: Both! I’ve only got a cat, though.

Favorite fictional character: Elle Woods, Kim Possible, Princess Leia

Number of blankets you sleep with: One sheet, one blanket, one quilt (one cat that sleeps on my feet)

Dream trip: SCOTLAND (not tied with Germany anymore, since I’m going to Germany/Austria/Hungary next year!!)

Blog created: Five years ago, I think?

Number of followers: 184- most of them are spam followers, I think (I only follow 50 blogs)

Random fact: My car is purple and her name is Auberjanine; I bought her myself and I love her.

#Personal #Ask memes #Get to know me #Mine

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iwantyoutolovelife · 7 years

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I still can’t believe Bones will be over in a few hours. I finally have the energy to write down my feelings without crying (maybe a few tears).

In 2012 at the 26th of november I had a very bad day at school. That was the first day in my life when something didn’t work out the way I planned. I was so disappointed and sad that I just went home, turned on the TV and watched it for hours. That night the season 6 finale was on and I just started watching it. After watching the episode I turned on my laptop and watched Bones all night long. The following days the only thing I did was watching as many episodes as it was possible. We can say it was love at first sight. I fall in love with the cemistry between Booth & Brennan, it was truly something I’ve never seen before, I fall in love with the friendship between Angela & Brennan I hope one day I’ll have a friendship like their, I fall in love with the crazy experiments Hodgins did, sometimes I just wanted to try them at home, and I fall in love with the squints who were so funny, annoying and adorable at the same time. Before watching Bones I’ve never cried and laughed that much on a tv show. When I finished the seasons that were in my language I started watching new episodes in english and here comes the first thing why I’m more than grateful for Bones. Without Bones I couldn’t speek in english as well as I speak now. Watching it in english helped me to improve my speaking and listening skills in a very short time. I became one of the best english-speaker in my class and it’s an amazing feeling that I consider english my second mother-language.

As I remember well the first night I stayed up till 2am to watch the latest episode of Bones was at the beginning of season 8(time difference is such a terrible thing). First it was so difficult to understand everything but later I get used to it and now when I wake up and watch a new episode I understand every little word like it was on my language. Since the first night I stayed up to watch Bones I missed less than 5 episodes, besides them I watched every episode the same time it was airing in the US. Now I don’t even need an alarm clock to wake me up at 2am or this season at 3am, because it became a habit. Maybe it sounds crazy but I’m going to miss these hours spent awake in the middle of the night and the following days when I had to go to school after I only slept 2 or 3 hours. These nights were the best part of my weekdays for years.

Thanks to Bones I met so many amazing people. I became a twitter geek almost at the same time I started watching Bones. I became friends with people from all around the World. I will never forget the thousands of conversations and happy moments we had. Boneheads will always have a special place in my heart. Not to mention that I met a girl who is from Hungary just like me and as it turned out we are like twins. We became each others soulmate’s and hopefully we are going to meet in person in a few weeks. For more than a year now, we stay up together to watch Bones and sometimes we stayed up till the morning after watching an episode. So THANK YOU Bones for friendships like these ones. ♥

I never thought in a million year that this tv show will be the one that both me and my sister will love so much. My sister started watching Bones a few months after me and since then we are watching it together. We even have a few inside jokes like when she says „Whoa” I always say „horse”. My parents have never been a huge fan of dead bodies and murders but I was able to convince them to watch a few episodes and they also liked it more than I expected. They never became huge fans, but for my 18th birthday they bought me a same dolphin ring that Brennan has. I wear that ring for 3 years now and it will always remind me of Bones.

Now I wanna say thank you to everyone who has ever been part of Bones. From script writers to the actors. THANK YOU for creating magic!

Through the years I’ve learned so much from this show. I became a better friend, a better sister and most importantly a better person because of Bones. It happened many times that I gave an advice to my friends that I saw on Bones and most of the time it worked. I fell in love not only with the characters but also the actors. I watched an uncountable amount of interviews with the cast of Bones which had the power to cheer me up when I was in a bad mood. I saved about 10 videos for bad days because I knew they will make me forget about the bad things no matter how many times I watch them. Thank you Emily, David, Michaela, Tamara, TJ and every actor who has ever been part of Bones. You’re all amazing actors and wonderful people! ♥

I almost forgot to mention the fanfictions. To every Bones fanfiction writer: Thank you for writing so many amazing stories!!! I read more than two thousand fanfictions that helped me survive a long hiatus and filled in the missing scenes from the show. I even printed out a few fanfictions which I still read whenever I have time.

Last but not least, a honorable mention to my social media life that was the most active during the past years when I was watching Bones. I couldn’t believe when I was noticed by Hart Hanson, David, Michaela, TJ and the official Bones twitter account. Once I created a solution to the 447 mistery which turned out to be false but it became so popular both on twitter and tumblr that I couldn’t believe it. A special thank you to @maskedscheduler who picked me as a Bones poster winner not only once but twice. I put those posters on my wall a few years ago and I still adore them.

After tonight maybe an era of my life will be over but never’ll be forgotten! I’ll be forever grateful for the things I got from this show. I have to say that I’m the luckiest person in the World because I got to be the part of this special Bones-family. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! ♥

#bones #bonesfinale ThankYouBones

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mariasolemarionqi · 6 years

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The 13 Critical Podcast Statistics of 2018

Podcast statistics unveil a lot of truths about modern consumer behavior and the rise of audio as a content marketing avenue.

My friends at Edison Research have released their 2018 podcast statistics as part of their annual Infinite Dial study, conducted with Triton Digital. (Download The Infinite Dial 2018 report here—it’s worth your time, and it also chronicles the first-ever drop in social media usage in America.)

Edison uncovered several new trends and multiple continuations of podcast patterns that first started to appear in 2015. To see how podcast statistics have changed, visit my prior recaps:

2016 podcast statistics 2017 podcast statistics

This year, I’ve pulled out 13 of the most interesting facts about podcasting from The Infinite Dial research. You’ll find even more in the full report.

This research was conducted of Americans, ages 12 and up, and was balanced to be a representative sample of age, gender, location, and ethnicity.

64 Percent of Americans Have Heard of Podcasts

If you’re a podcaster, this number may actually seem small to you. But, compared to 2017, millions more Americans are now familiar with podcasting. And more Americans know what a podcast is than know who the Vice President is.

{new research} More Americans know what a podcast is than know who the Vice President is. Click To Tweet 44 Percent of Americans Have Ever Listened to a Podcast

That’s 124 million people overall, and up 12 million in just one year. For reference, 124 million people is approximately the combined population of New Zealand, Ireland, Costa Rica, Norway, Finland, Denmark, Nicaragua, Switzerland, Australia, Hungary, Sweden, Portugal, Greece, Belgium, Chile, and Hong Kong. That’s a lot of podcast listeners!

{new research} 12 million people listened to a podcast for the first time in the last year. Click To Tweet 26 Percent of Americans Listen to Podcasts Monthly

That’s up from 24 percent in 2017, and represents 73 million people. For context, 21 percent of Americans are Catholic. Thus, podcasts are more popular than Catholicism, in some respects.

{new research} 26% of Americans listen to podcasts each month. 21% of Americans are Catholic. Click To Tweet One-Third of Americans Ages 25 to 54 Listen to Podcasts Monthly

32 percent of Americans in this age range listen at least monthly, slightly more than Americans 12–24 (30 percent), and quite a bit more than older Americans. Among people in the United States aged 55 and over, just 13 percent listen monthly. There’s still a lot of growth potential within this older segment.

{new research} One-third of Americans 25–54 listen to podcasts at least monthly. Click To Tweet Podcast Listening Among American Women Jumped 14 Percent in One Year

Between 2017 and 2018, monthly podcast listenership among male Americans stayed flat, at 27 percent. The growth in podcasts in the USA is coming from females, showing an increase from 21 percent to 24 percent in monthly listenership. This is a 14 percent bump in one year.

{new research} Monthly podcast listening among American women jumped 14% in one year. Click To Tweet In 2018, Six Million More Americans Listen to Podcasts Weekly versus 2017

This is 48 million people total, and up six million from 2017. By any measure, it’s a lot of listeners. By way of comparison, approximately 20 million people watch NFL Sunday Night Football, routinely the highest-rated television program.

{new research} More than twice as many Americans listen to podcasts weekly vs. watching Sunday Night Football. Click To Tweet Podcast Fans Listen to 40 Percent More Shows Than Last Year

In the 2017 version of The Infinite Dial report, Edison Research found that podcast listeners consumed an average of five different podcasts each week. In 2018, podcast listeners have increased their listening by 40 percent, as weekly podcast fans now listen to an average of seven shows.

{new research} Podcast fans listen to an average of 7 shows per week (up 40% from 2017) Click To Tweet Listeners Are Slightly Less Loyal on a Per-Episode Basis

Last year, 85 percent of podcast listeners said they consumed “all” or “most” of each episode they downloaded. This year, that rate diminished to 80 percent. This is perhaps not a surprise, given the increase in number of shows listened to (from five to seven). Podcast fans are downloading more episodes, but listening to slightly less of each episode.

{new research} 80% of podcast listeners hear all or most of each episode they consume. Click To Tweet 23 Percent of Americans Have Listened to Podcasts in the Car

This is certainly how I listen to podcasts personally, and the number of Americans who do so moved from 19 percent to 23 percent in just one year. This is powered partially by the increase in mobile listening (see below) and a corresponding boost in the number of new vehicles that have streaming audio and podcasting integration included.

{new research} 23% of Americans have listened to podcasts in the car. Click To Tweet 49 Percent of Podcasts Are Listened to at Home

This statistic is similar to last year and continues to baffle people (like me) who habitually listen to podcasts in a vehicle.

{new research} 49% of podcasts are listened to at home. Click To Tweet 18 Percent of Americans Now Own Smart Speakers

Smart speakers like Amazon Alexa and Google Home are skyrocketing in popularity and are being adopted even faster than smartphones were a few years ago. In fact, between 2017 and 2018, the percentage of Americans owning at least one of these devices soared from seven percent to 18 percent.

This means that 51 million Americans now own a smart speaker, possibly contributing to the steadiness in podcast listening at home, given that these devices can play your favorite podcasts with a simple, verbal request.

{new research} Smart speaker (Alexa, et al.) ownership in America grew 157% in one year(!) Click To Tweet 33 Percent of Smart Speaker Owners Have More Than One Device

After I bought my first Amazon Alexa, I couldn’t figure out why you would need more than one. I now own three and am getting ready to buy another one. Once you start to get a feel for the tremendous number of potential uses for these devices, you find reasons to buy more, especially because the “mini” units are inexpensive.

{new research} 33% of American smart speaker (Alexa, et al.) owners have more than one device in their home. Click To Tweet 69 Percent of Podcasts Are Consumed on a Mobile Device

The ratio of podcast listening on a phone or tablet to podcast listening on a laptop continues to tilt toward mobility. In 2018, 69 percent of Americans who listen to podcasts primarily do so via mobile. In 2015, it was just 55 percent.

{new research} 69% of Americans podcast listeners primarily listen on a mobile device. Click To Tweet

There are your 13 critical podcast statistics for 2018. Definitely download the entire report.

Also, a reminder that I co-host the popular weekly Social Pros podcast, which covers how medium and large businesses handle social media marketing. Convince & Convert also produces The Content Experience podcast, which covers advanced content marketing strategies. And we produce The Experience This! Show, a chronicle of great case studies in customer service and customer experience.

http://ift.tt/2HR8PXk

#The 13 Critical Podcast Statistics of 2018

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rodneyevesuarywk · 6 years