#that man made our photographer work for 200 hrs just to kill us

[noandneuron]

I fking hate you noel gallagher.

[goodboygustav]

Time for online venting! It’s a long read

I’m feeling completely stuck with my work situation & financial situation as of late & I’m so far past the point of burn out that I have meltdowns in my car before heading in.

I’ve worked for FedEx for a year and a half now as a package handler. It’s a third shift job, so I’m usually starting my shift at 2 am and leaving at 9:30 am. It pays $16/hr but during holidays we usually get a $3 raise during, so it’s not bad but it’s also not good enough. For a time we had $100 weekly bonuses for showing up all days we’re supposed to work due to coworkers not showing up en masse, plus our insanely high turnover rate. But they got rid of that because they don’t like paying us living wages

Most jobs in my area don’t even meet $15/hr, that’s one of the biggest reasons I’m still there. At my facility, I’m one of the best package handlers & each manager speaks of me highly (because I made the mistake of showing my potential so now they’re abusing it). Like, I’m faster than most package handlers and can load a truck better than most since I was trained on doing bulk trucks. Normal trucks are in the 100 range when it comes to packages, bulk trucks range from 200-300. I’ve been at the same loading spot for the entire time I’ve worked there. I work on the heaviest line, we have the most routes. So I’m usually loading 900-1000 packages a day while others load 400-600. The last two months, we’ve had such a massive turnover rate (by 400%) that I’ve been having to load 6 trucks at a time daily to the point of physical & mental exhaustion. And there’s no breaks here, you just work until we’re done. I got to the point where I was screaming, throwing shit, punching & kicking packages in the truck. It’s bringing out such an ugly side of me that’s eating away at me

They eventually moved me to the straight trucks, just these trailers that’s nothing but business routes. The managers kept saying it’s a lot more chill and should help with my mental health but HOO BOY that was a fuckin lie. All three trucks I work out get slammed all at once. And while I get to turn off the belts whenever I want, it’s still incredibly stressful taking hours to catch up and by the time I’m done catching up, the next wave hits and I’m too exhausted to keep going. Plus Mondays & Fridays are the busiest days and the managers just expect me to be ok with getting my ass handed to me all by myself. I’m always leaving work angry, tired & depressed. Plus working third shift is killing me, I can’t stand not being awake the same time as everyone else.

I don’t want to keep this up, I’m tired of doing more than everyone else & I wish I never showed how good I am at my job. I have my vacation coming up next week, but I still have 5 work days left to get through. I just want to put in my 2 weeks or better yet, just quit and burn the bridge. But the jobs in my area are just retail & food service and that shit isn’t good for a guy with autism, plus they don’t pay much. Starbucks in hiring since I DO want to get in the barista business. But I want to do local coffee shops and most don’t offer training. I mean, I could work for Starbucks for a couple months to get the experience then work for local but man, I hate how busy Starbucks can get. Though I can walk to Starbucks due to my fiancée and I have to drive her. So we gotta get her to retake her drivers test since it went expired during Covid and get her a car of her own so I’m not limited to everything in my immediate area or have her figure out her commuting

But I also feel like I can’t quit due to financial situations right now. In August I’ll have to fly out to my sister-in-laws wedding so I’ll be unavailable for a few days, plus plane tickets can get expensive with inflation right now. Plus for August I gotta pay my rent (which got raised), my bills, my car loan, & I gotta pay the deposit for my wedding photographer. A lot of money spending. Fun. And in November is my own wedding, which I’ll take a week off and have to spend money on a few more things. And I’m pretty sure I won’t have enough PTO culminated to cover it, I’m using all my current PTO on my vacation next week. So I feel like I have to stay, I can’t go unemployed for too long and have my fiancée do everything

I feel stuck. And I’m too tired to do anything on my days off. I’m tired of being so angry all the time. I’ve never felt so low mentally but I fear this is just my life now. I know I can quit but I don’t want to be impulsive. I’m too much of a people pleaser.