#that may be a little harsh but idc it was really annoying to me

[sassy-leather-jacket]

if it wasn't obvious from all the reblogs, i just got done watching the special and i can't lie i really loved it. it was like the perfect balance of cheesy and silly and serious and even a little cringy but i really enjoyed it.

what i HATED though, was whatever bs that was with the sonic making screens and force fields, like excuse me?? that's literally not what the sonic is for like that seemed so wild and honestly straight from a bad fanfic.

[araisbored]

Obelisk

That’s the only quirky title I could come up to make this a little bit more interesting.

I’m reviewing my favorite book again. More like making another post about it. Because I seem like the type of person to not shut up about something she truly, truly, deeply love. Though, I won’t really making a review. Because I am in no state to make one of those. I don’t know I just I’m not that qualified to that yet. Though I read millions of books, I still won’t. I re-read my last “review” and it just make me cringe because I can’t understand what I’m saying and there’s a bunch of errors on my sentence. Not that this whole post won’t containing grammar errors, but still. Also, the cringing intensifies when I saw that Jennifer Niven (the author of this book) liked my bizarrely wrong blog entry. Ms. Niven, if by any chance, reading this again, I love your work and I’m sorry for a lot of grammatical errors. Ms. Niven, your work changed my life and help me get through a rough time. Sounds cliché but its the truth. 

To repeat what I typed, I won’t make a review. Yet, I’ll post a very private diary log which where I somehow discuss my opinions about this book. So here it is. 

Trigger warning: Suicide topics, cutting and mental issues might come up on the next following paragraph. And it’s really graphic. Because it is a personal log on my digital diary. Beware. 

May 17, 2019: Theodore’s death, Avengers: End game and GoT discussion.

I never had a proper review of this book. Because lets be real here. Its me and probably won’t matter. Last time or more like last last year, I made a book recommendation/favourites about this book. And I emphasize on that blog post that it’s not a book review. NOT A BOOK REVIEW. At all.

Because:

I am scared of the internet scrutinizing my opinions and views about this book.

It’s about mental health or part of it. So it is really a sensitive topic and I even haven’t figured myself out. So I’m not really sure if  I’m the right person you want to have an opinion regarding with this topic. One thing about me is that you don’t go asking me questions on how you figured your life or how you deal with depression because, oh boy oh boy you’re in a wrong place honey.

Last night I searched Theodore Finch on twitter. Yes, twitter. Because that is where you get the real opinions. Real tea. As well as the stupid ones. And I read one thread or whatever you call it, some sort of a conversation or replies from one girl to another. (I just assumed you’re girl and I’m sorry if you’re not. I am really sorry for misgendering you.) The other girl said that she’s kind of annoyed how everyone around Theodore doesn’t get the signs when it’s literally on their faces. When you come to think of it. Its true. All the signs of Theodore’s disease was there. Bluntly on their faces. It’s kind of fascinating how it’s not noticed by his family and friends or even Violet. But again right now thinking about it, maybe because it happened when this world just slowly noticing or paying attention about mental health. Hold a second, let me search when it was published. Yeah, I'm right its 2015. A year of coming of age for the late Baby Boomers are introduced to depression and when people, mostly teenagers are committing suicide. I would be very harsh on my words because it was just me talking to myself anyways. So yeah, that's also the year where I'm cutting myself and wanted to kill myself. So no wonder Finch’s family have no idea about his mishaps and adventures. So about that discussion, it was already solved. That year was just the year where naïve people are introduced to mental health and issues. Anyways, back to that conversation. The other girl defended the book/author. That the author, Jenifer Niven, was just portraying real life happenings. That these things happens in real life. People really die because of mental health issues. By the way, Finch mental diagnosis wasn’t really mentioned on the book directly. As far as I can remember. That’s why I'm re-reading it again now. But so far zero mentioned of diagnosis or bipolarity(Is that even a word? idc.). Just the mention of him wanting to kill himself, the erotic changes in his moods, lack of appetite and being insomniac. He doesn’t sleep one night or he sleeps then have very bad nightmares after that. It’s pretty obvious but again, let’s refer to the points given above. Oh, oh! Then there’s one time he repainted his bedroom from blood red to blue. If that’s not alarming enough then idk anymore. But yes, 2015. The coming of age and the year where we birthed more stupid late boomers. But, yes. Wild book. A very wild and very BRILLIANT book. It’s the stupid characters or the people in Finch’s life that suck. Which is why I kind of sided to the girl who said that that the author doesn’t really write the characters well. Let’s call her Girl A. And the other girl who defend Niven, Girl B. I’m pretty sure you’re both girls but just in case, I’m gonna apologize again if I'm  misgendering you. Or if you don’t wanna be called a girl. I can’t say or disclose that Girl B was wrong because he clearly have a point too. It happens in real life. People die from depression and I might be one soon.

Just wanna say that It’s a good discourse. Arguments like that are my favorites where both sides are not wrong nor right either, makes you really think. A read. Both the book and that twitter discourse. If you happened to read it, good. But if not sorry I can’t link it for you. 

So for my opinion (oh no, here we go) I agree on both of them , as if its not yet obvious. I guess if it was written in the present days the author could’ve change the characters and made Finch alive. Or checked-in in a mental institution or he’ll be given a medical assistance he really needs. Because the only medical attention he was given was thru his Guidance councilor, Embryo. Which is a good thing, but also I think Finch’s situation needs more professional attention. No offence to all guidance councilors out there. I know you guys try your best. But you know, Niven can make Finch visit a psychiatrist in a clinic/mental institution right? Like violet. I know Finch’s financial state is bad but.. idk there’s something can be done here. But again it was during that time where people are shouting “Depression isn’t real”, stupid people posting tweets and Facebook status on how “Suicide is for the week”; they watch 13 reasons why and decided to skip the whole point of the show and just assumed that “yeah depression is for the weaklings”. It only shows how ignorant people are. They’re the kind of people who standby when you get punch on the face or laugh when people spreads rumors and lies about you. Basically, bystanders. I’m sorry I’m a little snappy. If you haven’t noticed. I don’t know I’m just mad today.

I think the book still holds it. And justify the ending. Though part of me really hate it too. But it kind of made me realized about a lot of things, not just about me but also about how I should interact with other human beings. I hate the ending because it breaks my heart but I guess it was necessary?? Or not. Any how,  It was a good ending. Maybe its just me because I’m a masochist. But I can not think of any other impactful and realistic way on ending it. (Rereading this again and I just need to clear things up. That IM NOT A MURDERER OR A KILLER. I DONT NORMALIZE SUICIDE,  but from a standing point the ending is justified. Its sad but its, again, realistic.) But still, breaks my heart, Theodore is a precious boy. Who deserves nothing but love. And I hope his story was more known by the people so jackasses would know how to treat their family and friends better. 

[This part was cut because I talked about Avengers and GoT ending; Which is very relevant to this topic]

Love,

Ara xx

So yeah, that’s some of my diary entry. Re-reading it makes me realized how funny I am. Jesus I should read more of these. Who knows, I might post it here. If it’s not that personal. I’ll end this here now. I hope wherever you are you’re having a good day.

Ttyl, Ara!

[sikereviewdotcom]

strawberry shortcake s2 ep1 - horse of a different color

this one was suggested by someone who couldnt keep their mouth shut and not sing the strawberry shortcake intro theme in the middle of our economy class

no one wanted to hear that, but they  went ahead and then i actually followed up on that train of thoughts i remembered about the fucking cartoons and i knew it pronto: its a must-see shit its like slightly above the level of magical school bus series, but the final rating is for the fin not the beginning so lets begin this horseshit:

were reviewing “horse of a different color”, it focuses indeed on strawberrys horse, honey pie pony (its her entire damn name, how sweet right? like all of them, i got diabete from this review but its the cost of maintaining this blog anyway, the kids are playing together on a that tree having fun jumping around like chimpanzees hooba hooba but sadly our filly quickly realizes she cant play king kong with them and keep falling on her ass,

yet since theyre all retarded or young (id say its a fifty-fifty case for them kinda normal ig, i mean they ARE literal 6yo) they try several ways of getting her up on that tree, not thinking how to get her down if they ever were to succeed (good for them: aint happening) its child labor too btw, from an horse still same deal what if honey pie fell down on them? crushing them corpses with her mighty pounds? the findus company would be delighted to hear such news, im sure its some quality (sweet ass) horse meat

once it all fails she understands a horse isnt meant to climb a tree, too big too fat its four legged, not even entertaining the relationship giraffes have with trees

but it aint over, then (after a talk with herself) hp hears the laughters of a bunch of kids which catches her attention, it always does who can ignore that sorta noise? although she aint annoyed by it shes just into the idea of riding a bike now, shes even gonna get a go at it oh yea thats it we finally found her human hobby gogdamn shes a backward furry

of course it fails aswell since she has no hand for the handle and shes heavy so i guess its the reason why she rides into w/e and cant stop? because otherwise she couldve also just.. actually it makes no sense does it? i mean she couldve easily stopped the ride actually how is that kid bike even holding her? ive never tried putting a pony on a bike for 6 y/o but i doubt about its capacity in not being crushed aswell as i doubt in the kids bones not being severely damaged after a visit under honey pies horsy buttcheeks

but all of that really makes her sad: she cant play with her human friends and shes the only horse around strawberry land or whatever see me tearing it for her, theres so much emotions in this episode especially after that filly trynna get kids to get into some horseplay horseshit like dude theyre only 6, lets go easy on them, might have a problem with the parents of the kids watching this episode no one even thought how fucked up this one part is? sure horseplay isnt only sexual or w/e but it still is the visual of 6yos on all four jumping around and neighing together with their ass a little bit too exposed wow im going on a dangerous road here? aint i? not gonna sue the writers im sure it was their subconscious speaking probably got issues from their childhood, eventually got them sorted out since 2004 what do i know? aside from me not caring

back on track : after seeing horsey being so sad the kiddos decide to get her a horse friend but where the fuck? they got no idea, they are proud nonetheless and go tell honey the good new until they are like “wait but we have no idea where to find horses!” ofc we get a big reveal, some serious strawberry shortcake lore: actually all the horses, ALL OF THEM FROM THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET are on one (1) single island: ice cream themed to diversify it all they are just chilling over there in ponyland and for some reason this one here got lost or idk guys she took the boat and checked the rest of the world out as an even younger filly, found strawberry and her friends and decided now she was a centaur  slash humanrry furry human, idk you get it but shes their friend and so on to introduce the concept of an AWESOME island full of equestrian activity and ofc ice cream but its kinda lame because who cares? everythings already made out of food, also why isnt the ice cream melting? its one water? nevermind for the introduction as i was saying, hp sings an horrendous sounding song it deteriorated my ear drums they got pierced or something  or maybe im exagerrating? either case horses cant sing:

so to the ice cream land they go, huh

of course it wouldnt be a big adventure without an almost broken bridge oh no whatever shall we do? could we possibly cross it safely? lets try it out  guys: yay it worked good for us little stress and suspense it was wack how they got honey pie out of the hole her big ass hoove made im mesmerized by the power of friendship and sugar at this point, just in full awe for the rest of the episode probably over dosed on all the ice cream flavoured horseshit, i got some all over my mouth its dripping on my desk i gotta clean that later

next thing we know: horses its all this episode is about (aside from labor) but you see, so far hp would switch between normal human language and neighing well turns out her other fellow equines can only neigh and so they just neigh together while our english well-spoken mammal translates to the moronic kids who just smile smuggly

of course the animals are having a welcome party then, dancing around while the morons are just bored, harsh one being a cartoon character isnt it guys? w/e theyre gonna ask for honey pie to come back home now, convinced that her natural habit isnt her place and she loves them too much to just leave them and never come back and break any plans they ever had together- oh shit looks like shes leaving forever huh? what a plot twist mark that on the bitch quota for today

the first one to leave is the little boy btw, important thing to note: hes the biggest pussy he cant even face reality: oh no, no more pony back time before sleep thats quite a bummer, downer and man how are they going to survive now they got no animal to watch over them? jesus theyre soon, on the boat (idk where they got it from idk why suddenly theyre on a boat because then theyre once again gonna cross that bridge but ok) anyway yea theyre having a relationship crisis during that ship trip yada yada ah and the bridge, because (see i do not call them morons for now reasons obviously they deserve this title not only because theyre 6 but also because they are just daft:) they proceed, once in the middle of the bridge all 4 of them, to stop and wonder

“will the bridge be able to hold all of us? wont it break? damn i wonder if it will crack” and they talks without moving until vlam: a tree comes and breaks it (dont ask) so now theyre in trouble:

back to ponyland: bitch pie realizes how much she misses her actual friends and that she can speak english which her other horse friends cant do so she is special and probably abnormal, shes a big outcat of the pony society and has no other reason but to escape her incoming death sentence for fraternizing with the humans of course none of the second part is true, she just wants to see the kids again so she says asta la vista baby to the neigher team and runs away see, she hasnt taken the boat and yet also arrive to the bridge? why a boat sequence then? i will skip this for now but it WILL play in the rating, imagine im the parent of the youngster watching this crap and i have to endure it

if it sucks this bad and is this illogical i might just get bored and change the channel, idc my progeny aint gonna be watching this in either case, ill make them watch political debates then interrogate them on what they learned after what but it wasnt actual political debates just random furry youtuber venting with their fursona sprites animated and thats how you make your kids retarded, the kick of this joke is that i aint planning on getting any kids but totally gonna make them watch classics too such as the attack of the killer donuts as soon as they reach 6 so they wont be dumb and probably not getting diabete or w/e in their adulthood

then honey pie saves the kids btw all of them, heavy shit

and they all go back to strawberryland, happily after a big “wow i missed you sm, you are my real friends w/e if you dont look like me i aint speciest guys really!” theyre all vegan too btw so this works for them i havent watched enough strawberry shortcake episodes to know if they ever eat meat but i have doubts seeing how theyre into a very cannibalistic diet which include eating dessert when obviously thats what they are at least half part, this cartoon raises a lot of political questions it may have a deeper value than i first attributed to it

the end: another terrible song plays about horseshit and how tasty it is

thats all folks

so the rating: big 6/10, so you know 5/10 if its a decent kid show where im highly eager to click on the x and get back making jams but nah

surprisingly enough, i only wanted to stop watching half of the episode and not the entirity of it so credits for thats since im an adult and not a kid, imagining kids enjoyed this sweet childish cartooness or w/e now why +1? its because of how many political questions it raised, how it made me think about our society and cakes yknow its more than kids having a conflict with an horse it talks about veganism, specism, handicap, cannibalism, the management of the limited ressources were exploiting and so on yea really makes you think, its subliminal messages to make kids smarter: they watch their dessert-imbecile counterparts doing bs and then get it right irl: good  ah- it also makes it better for you when youre watching this with your kid, you suddenly transcend to another level of spirituality, existential crisis activated or at least reasoning mode or w/e youre willing to name this the point is you arent bored still despite all of this i rated it quite low for such a serious kid cartoon what couldve possibly made me tic? 1) kids are morons and cant understand all of this, not clear enough for the targeted public 2) projection onto the characters/dialogues from the writers of their childhood traumas (the horse play event didnt go unnoticed, karren brown) 3) my little pony ripoff 4) its controversial, our society, especially in 2004 couldnt understand the depth of this shit and finally 5) i got so much ice cream flavoured horseshit all over my desk god help me this is so filthy what a fucking mess i would totally recommand it to anyone who feels like being blown away by the statements made in this work of art 6/10 but really we all know in the future, itll be a 9/10, some ahead-of-its-time-crap

tg, out

[crispwiz]

Rewriting Muja and Mida to be a little less... weird

I love these two characters a lot actually, but I understand where everyone comes from when they are accused of being pedo/ creepy and yeah I think it’s a bit weird too tbh. It is just a game so I’d be fine if they stayed the way the are right now, but since a lot of people seem to not like it i have some ideas for rewrites.

Muja

Pink mom, smart, just a bit clumsy, forgetful, super caring. First of all let me say she’s not an idiot. Ditsy doesn’t mean dumb, I’m the most clumsy person I know yet I still do well in school. That’s how Muja is. Super smart (even a bit nerdy) academically, frightfully out of it everywhere else. She’s never been very social and tends to stay quiet in a group. Although she is very kind and loves to help people any way possible. That includes being a good listener and comforting. Muja likes herbal tea and meditating. In the future she would like to work in a nursing home.

When Taro/Taeko come in with a cold to Muja at the beginning of her week, she immediately rushes to give them top care. They look very sickly, and although they do have a small cold they are suffering mostly mentally based on the events of the past weeks. If Ayano eliminated past rivals peacefully Senpai is just very worn out from being rejected/ rejecting so many girls in their first weeks of school. If she eliminated them violently, Senpai will be extremely paranoid, anxious, and depressed. If they witnessed any of the deaths or found any bodies/blood they might even have some post trauma symptoms. Muja act as a mother and therapist to Senpai. They get over the cold in the first two days but muja requires them to keep visiting her for mental help. Muja doesn’t like Senpai romantically, yet she grows close to them. She worries about this child greatly, and due to her antisocial nature she also feels like she has a close friend for the first time in awhile. Senpai, on the other hand, falls hard for Muja. Sure, it’s wrong, Senpai knows that very well, but the poor kid has gone through so much emotional turmoil it feels good to finally have someone to fall on and talk to. 

Muja doesn’t leave a note for Senpai ( that is a bit silly, a grown woman leaving a love note in a locker like a schoolgirl) Senpai leaves a note in her office to meet at the tree after school. Senpai confesses to her, but she shuts them done quickly and gently. She feels awful doing it after this kid has been through so much, so she promises they can still visit her on weekends for herbal tea after she leaves the school. She also explains they might need some therapy and says that on Monday she will arrange a meeting with the guidance counselor and their family to get them the help they need. Senpai is disappointed, though they realize maybe they don’t really like her romantically, rather just grow an emotional dependence after so much emotional damage. Ultimately, both Muja and Senpai end on good terms and perhaps Senpai can finally get the help they need. 

 Despite there being no returned romance, Muja is still a rival to Ayano. Romance on either side is still a threat for Ayano and Senpai’s “love”. Even though Muja turns down Senpai they are still going to stay friends. That isn’t allowed. Friends to Ayano means there is still the possibility of romance in the future if Senpai continues to pine for Muja. Muja absolutely needs to be out of the picture, no exceptions. Ayano is characterized as being extremely possessive after all. 

 If eliminated by matchmaking, Muja will still make an effort to talk to Senpai, but Senpai will ignore her and stop coming to meetings because they are jealous asf and feels betrayed since Muja was the only person who understood them. If eliminated by befriending, Muja will explain she didn’t know Senpai had feelings towards her. To make sure the feelings don’t get encouraged, she redirects Senpai to the guidance counselor and makes Ayano promise to take good care of him if they get together. Feeling betrayed once again, Senpai fakes being perfectly fine to the guidance counselor to isolate themself, starving them of the help they need.

 Mida 

*cracks knuckles and breaks them* ok time to fix this problem child. Mida is a wild card party girl, she’s a good spunky leader which is why she went into teaching but she lacks in the responsibility part of the job, her loud voice and nature scares her students into behaving though, she wears revealing clothing because she thinks it’s funny to push the dress code as far as possible and see the look on her student faces ( she probably started doing it as a dare ), she a Muja are lunch buddies who can eat everything on the menu, she parties a lot and does all the drinking and one night stands a young woman can do, she talks quick and skips small details and get to the point. She is NOT into students though, yes she likes attention and yes she wears revealing clothes as a joke and is used to students crushing on her but would never seriously date a student. 

When Senpai comes to her for after school help she finds it funny how nervous they are because they of course find her attractive, so she jokes around a bit to get them to lighten up and puts on a coat to cover up. Senpai loves her charismatic attitude and her demeanor. Remember, Senpai has recently gone under a lot of stress and isn’t thinking clearly and clinging onto whoever shows them the least bit of promise. And come on guys, Senpai is a teenager after all ( they get a new crush every week for gods sake). Mida quickly befriends Senpai as she finds them an interesting and smart kid. On the Wednesday of her week she will ask Senpai why they are falling behind in school if they are such a good student. Senpai mentions the past weeks and Mida starts to see the big picture. On Thursday Senpai passes a test in Mida’s class and after school she turns them away saying they don’t need tutoring anymore and just need to study more. Senpai panics and in desperation claims they need help in other subjects. Mida had a hunch that Senpai had feelings for her, but decides to help them anyway because she does care for the kid and wants to help if they are telling the truth. Friday, Senpai comes by again for help but Mida talked to his other teachers who said hes been doing better in their classes after her tutoring and confronts him on his lie. Senpai goes silent. “Ok Yamada, do you want to know what I think? I think you need help. You’ve seen some fucked up shit the past few weeks (did I mention she has a sailor mouth) and you want someone to cling onto for comfort. You never needed help for school, you need some real help. So tell me kid, what is really up? What do you REALLY need help with?”. Senpai stays quiet, and finally asks her to follow them outside to the cherry tree.

When they get there Senpai starts a long tangent about their deep feelings for Mida : “just want you to give me a chance, I may be a student but I can mature for you. I can be a good boy/girlfriend. And-” Mida stops them and lays hard facts on them.“ No, you’re not mature, this is extremely childish of you. No you wouldn’t be a good partner for me, you’re a child and I’m an adult. No, you don’t need me or love me, you are dependent on me and need mental help.” Mida goes against her irresponsible and childish nature to grow up for a few minutes, it’s what Senpai needs. Yes she is harsh but Senpai needs to be turned down hard to keep them from pining after her hopelessly. Senpai doesn’t need a lover like her, that wouldn’t be healthy. They need an adult. Senpai does cry, and Mida keeps her adult/motherly attitude but goes in more gently now. She tells them she will stick around the school for a bit to help them keep their grades and like Muja arrange a meeting to get Senpai further mental help. Senpai admits to them self they didn’t really like Mida that much, it was more emotional dependence mixed with initial attraction. Also Senpai looked up to Mida as a role model, admiring her leadership, social qualities, and don’t care attitude. Mida tells Senpai “Aw come on kid, give me a smile.” Senpai gives Mida a teary smile and Mida slaps their back “That’s the spirit!” and walks Senpai back to the entrance with her hand on their back. She gives them a ride home and comes in to talk in private to Senpai’s parents about their behavior over the past week (while Hanako pulls them upstairs for hot cocoa and cartoons).

This is still a game over for Ayano for similar reasons as Muja, plus she misinterprets Midas hand on their back as a romantic gesture. If befriended Ayano will tell her about Senpai's feelings. Mida will be pretty cold and switch Senpai to a male teacher for tutoring. She doesn’t want to lead him on anymore ( and she doesn’t want to deal with the drama either. Hey, she’s not perfect). Dev has said that if Mida was matchmade, she would date another student. Maybe instead of dating another student, Ayano gets a student who has a lusty crush on their teacher to flunk Midas class. Mida decides since Senpai is a good student who is just failing due to stress to give the other student tutoring since they might actually have more problems than Senpai, and then gets too distracted with the super flirty and annoying student to even talk to Senpai anymore. Of course she wouldn’t date the student, just give them more attention. Similar to Muja, Senpai would feel incredibly betrayed. 

Those are some ideas I had for revising Mida and Muja to be less unnerving. Again, idc if they stay the way the are but if the dev wanted to fix the characters like he suggested with Kokona or Ayano this would be one way to do it. Sorry this was super long just wanted to get all the ideas down. Also I did emphasize Senpai s mental problems, but I think that their behavior will still depend on how bad the past weeks were. If the past rivals were eliminated peacefully Senpai wouldn't cry during Midas confession or act quite as dramatic, And Senpai wouldn't need serious therapy. If rivals are eliminated peacefully Senpai might just need someone to rant to.