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#that pain is just fkn awful and im so scared of triggering it
bunnihearted · 9 months
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#ok im not gonna let myself complain abt it too much. even if complaining is very cathartic to me. like its just part of the process#anyway im gonna try to not do that....#but yeah i hate being ill and in pain. it's like a veil is pulled over myeyes and the entire world gets so dark and scary#idk how to explain i just feel so alone and so anxious and so unhappy#my experience with healthcare is sadly that treatment never helps and nothing gets better#so that's why i always get kinda depressed when something like this happens#the doctor suspects it is gallstones. and i got those rectal pills skskks that i'll try for the pain#then i just need to wait to get an ultra sound scan so they can check for gallstones. then i dont know#i was too stressed to ask her abt diet and such but im reading online and im like?? idk what im supposed to eat#that pain is just fkn awful and im so scared of triggering it#esp bc i dont fkn know how to put a pill up my ass that stresses me out even more#if i had an ordinary life i.e a job and friends and such it's easier to handle these things. but when u feel vulnerable nd scared it makes#it sm worse.....#and im so fkn stressed abt school now!!!! how am i supposed to sit and class when im in pain???? and barely sleeping#yeah idk. i need to find a way to get thru this ksksks :(((((#maybe im over dramatic or smth. i prob am. but i cant describe it im just in sm pain and im scared and confused and stressed af#i also have no idea how long this will last or if i can start eating normally and when i can start going for my walks again#like will this not pass until they remove the potential gallstone or what??#i hate this pain sm it hurts so bad i dont know how long i'll be able to endure it#im also getting closer to a depression so.. idk im just not ok rn ksks
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skiasurveys · 7 years
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sex sex sex sex.
1. What’s your favorite position and why? i like doggy style a lot because i dont know it just feels really great and its pretty dominating..but i also like missionary but its boring but i like it when i want to feel “romantic”. lmao.
2. How did you lose your virginity? If you’re still a virgin, is there any specific reason?  I lost my virginity at 19. Basically I was preparing to bang my boyfriend ( my current one!) but I was super nervous ( I already had some trauma from the past). I was scared and stuff and so we tried and I was like Idk man im scared. Then later that night we just started to kiss and make out and he asked if I wanted to try again and I said sure so I got naked blah blah, I was sitting on him kissing hm and then bam he fucked me but it felt really awesome and nice, didn’t hurt because he was slow at it and then he fucked me from behind after i got used to it lol. Great times. That was like a year ago!
3. If you could have sex with any porn star or model, who would it be?  i dont know any porn stars and im not attracted to any models either.
4. What’s one thing in particular that makes you want to tear off your lover’s clothes? Sometimes if he looks at me a certain way or if were doing something . Or if he starts touching my thighs and/or kissing my neck 
5. Five turn ons. 1. Strong looking/masculine 2.Taller than me but no taller than 6′3 3. kissing my neck. 4. man handeling me (without being too aggressive).5. showing me off ( Not like “OH LOOK WHAT I HAVE” but being proud you have me. 6. Five turn offs. 1. Being an asshole. 2.Acting like you don’t care about me when youre around others. 3.Racist/sexist/etc 4.Creepy. 5.Hating my friends
7. Have you had any embarrassing sexual experiences?   its so embarrassing.. so I had just finished my period ( OR so i thought) and we started to fuck and it was going well.. after we finished he was like “Um i think you still have your period.” and Im like “what?” and yeah there was blood on his dick and I legit ran and cried in the bathroom like a little bitch LOL. He came after me and said it was fine and that hes done more awkward shit but DUDE...
8. Do you have a fetish? not really. I like calling my boyfriend daddy in the bedroom but i dont like the ddlg fetish at all. 
9. Have you experimented with anyone of the same sex?  no 10. What’s “out of bounds” for you during sex?  Choking, or tying me up, or like bondage stuff. I just have a severe panic attack if that happens and I dont like it and I had trauma so its actually triggering.
11. What’s the best sexual unsolicited advice you can give?  Just dont fuck them if youre not ready. 
12. Hickies - get ‘em or give ‘em? both
13. Do you like giving head? im that weird girl who actually enjoys sucking cock
14. Do you like getting head? yes 
15. What’s one thing you look for in a partner?  loyalty and companionship. 
16. How many partners have you had?  1 and im still with him :)
17. What’s your sexual orientation? Straight
18. If you’re bi/pansexual, what gender do you tend to prefer? n/a
19. Describe the best sex you’ve ever had.  Theres a few. It usually is when he goes hardcore with teasing me and kissing me. One time he was kissing me and teasing me. He ate me out for a bit which was amazing, and the he kissed me from my tummy to my lips, and he fucked me hard but slow and said I love you which was awesome. But i also had one where He was teasing me and doing lots of foreplay and he told me he owned me and that he wanted all of me and then he fucked me so good. especially when he cums inside me. MMMMM.
20. Describe the worst sex you’ve ever had. It wasnt bad but I just have depression and sometimes it hits me when were fucking and  i lost my sex drive and just didnt care and it didnt last that long but i lied i orgasmed so he could finish because i wasnt feeling it lol
21. Have you ever had a funny sexual experience? What was it? i dont know. Im sure. 22. Are you okay with rough sex?  Yess just not too rough ok!
23. How big was the biggest dick you’ve ever seen? Was it in a porn or in real life? well i mean guys in porn always have huge dicks but my boyfriend is the only one Ive had and he is pretty big.
24. Boobs or ass - which is better? ass. 25. Do you prefer sex or masturbation? sex i hate masturbating.
26. Describe how you usually masturbate. ill leave that for your imagination. 
27. Do you like tattoos on a partner or do you like them to have a clean slate, skin wise?  i dont care. either or.
28. How do you feel about daddy dom/little girl roleplaying? some people go a little too far with it. Like for example actually acting like they are 4 years old in public. You can leave it to the bedroom, please.
29. What’s your fantasy?  pay off my student loans.
30. Do you have any sexual regrets? no
31. When did you last have sex? april 1st before Connor moved! He will be back in the end of May or start of June so it will be a while before we have sex again :(
32. When did you last masturbate? last night
33. Have you had anal? yeah. Its ‘ight. 
34. Do you like to spank/be spanked?  i like to be spanked.
35. What do you want done to you right now?  well since  I havent seen my boyfriend in like a month i would love it for him to just push me against a wall. mmm.
36. Are you comfortable with getting tied up? no
37. Did you have sex in high school? nope. No one really liked me back then. I had like 2 boyfriends then and it was shitty then. I met Connor the fall after i graduated. Hilarious.
38. How old were you when you lost your virginity? How long has it been? 19 years old and its been a year now.
39. Do you like teasing or would you rather get straight to the point? teasing.
40. Sexting or phone sex?  ive done both. sexting is fun but phone sex can be pretty hot. I just dont like phone sex..i rather sext tbh
41. Have you had sex in any interesting places? One time we were hanging at our friends place and everyone had gone to bed and Connor was cuddling me on their couch and he said , “ I bet its just bothering you that you cant touch me” and im like whatever idc and then hes like “lets lowkey fuck” so we fucked on their couch while they were sleeping! It was pretty fun but nervous cus if someone walked out. oh god..and then we fucked behind a couch like 3 times while there was a party going on. cool.
42. Are you sexually active?  i guess so. since he moved its hard to say but its only for short time.
43. Have you had car sex? no our car is too small for that. but i want to.
44. Have you ever had sex with anyone else in the location you were at? (i.e., while your sister was in the other room) yes..see above
45. Why aren’t you fucking anyone right now? well the only person i would fuck is in a nother city obvs so thats why.
46. Are you able to have emotionless sex? not rly
47. Does penis size really matter? yes
48. What has been your most memorable experience sexually? theres a lot
49. If male, are you well endowed? n/a
50. If female, what’s your breast size?  34 B cup.
51. Have you ever been the other person? no
52. Have you ever cheated on anyone?  no!
53. Describe an orgasm.  i just felt really weird and shakey but it felt so good.
54. What’s the longest time you’ve had sex for? I dont really keep count.
55. What’s the shortest time you’ve had sex for?  like 5 minutes. -___-
56. If you could change the person you lost your virginity to, would you?  no
57. Have you had any pregnancy scares? Yeah kinda. my one period didnt come once and i was so scared. I bought like 3  sticks.
58. Are you comfortable naked?  kinda. Ive been with Connor for a year now and I still feel awkward naked. lol
59. Are you comfortable sending pictures of yourself to others? depends.
60. What’s your sexual comfort zone like?just dont do rape play.
61. What’s something sexual that you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up liking?  i cant think of anything
62. Do you have any piercings in fun places? (i.e., clit, nipples, dick) no
63. Would you say you’re good in bed?  i think so.
64. How do you get sex tips? internet or i ask him how he wants me to do something. like i ask him if he likes what im doing and he will tell me how he wants it.
65. Have you ever had sex with anyone while they were on their period? Have you ever had sex while on your period?  no except that one time when i thought i was fkn done but i wasnt. kill myself.
66. If you could be the other sex for a day, would you and what would you do first? idk.
67. What’s your favorite part about being the gender you are? I dont know really. I can buy cute drinks without looking dumb?
68. Slow but passionate, or fast, furious, and kinky? slow but passionate. But also depends on the mood or whatever because sometimes i want rough, sometimes i don’t.
69. Have you ever 69’d? Did you enjoy it?  yes but it feels too good to suck him while hes eating me out.
70. Have you ever done drugs and then had sex?  weed
71. Have you ever had sex with someone you’re in love with? yes
72. How are you with BDSM? Would you ever engage in it?  nope.
73. Do you like gagging on cock/having someone gag on your cock? Why?  i love gagging on his cock.
74. When it comes to oral, are you gentle? Do you use your hands too? gentle. i dont want to hurt him but if i do go hard kinda. and yeah i used my hands.
75. Okay, how do you feel about handjobs?  sometimes i do hand jobs but its only when im making him hard. Lol.
76. Have you had any unwanted pain during sex? yeah.
77. What is something that’s not sexual that can turn you on more than anything sexual?  arms? 78. Can your sexual partners be categorized by their zodiac signs? no
79. Have you had sex to music? What’s your favorite sex song? we fucked to Wish you were here by Pink Floyd.
80. What’s something you want to try in bed?  i dont know.
81. Has anyone drew blood from you during sex, whether it was by cutting, biting, or scratching? How did you feel about that? no. if there was blood from biting/scratching/etc i would feel awful.
82. Have you ever fucked someone who was sad? Did it help them emotionally or make it worse? I have fucked him when he was sad and it helped and same for me sometimes it makes me feel way better.
83. Do you like sexual anons? no
84. What’s your ideal round of sex?  i dont know.
85. Do you like the use of whipped cream, handcuffs, chocolate, and cherries?  nope.
86. Have you ever been walked in on or caught?  almost got caught.
87. Have you ever had sex in public? Would you? yes and i would.
88. What’s a good sex joke?  i dont know. 89. Do you like to be called a dirty slut or would you rather be treated like royalty?  i love it when he calls me a slut but theres a time and place during sex when i want to be slutty and then loved LMAO.
90. Are you more submissive or dominant? sub 91. What’s your naughtiest secret? i almost fucked a 33 year old when i was 18.
92. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve encountered sexually?  i cant think of anyting
93. Have you ever “stuck your dick in crazy”? Was there a lesson learned?
94. Do you like playing with balls/having someone play with yours? i like playing with them because he loves it. 
95. What’s the best nonsexual feeling?  feeling safe and loved by them.
96. Do you like feet? ew 97. Do you look at rule 34/hentai? ew....
98. Pick a random question off this survey for yourself. N/A 99. Who’s your ideal sexual partner? MY BOYFRIEND.
100. Do you have a partner right now? Would you like one? have my boyfriend :) 101. Are you accepting “applications” for a partner?  um no
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