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#that would prob hurt me
luvrxbunny · 8 months
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imagine sucking a guy off while he’s standing but his knees give out
omfg
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averlym · 11 months
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4 on the angst list with Araleyn please I need them to suffer
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4 : "but it's my fault, right?" (prompt list here)
#<blinks> very gently implied angst i suppose. usually everyone makes anne suffer so for a change#here's catherine struggling with the idea that if she hadn't been so stubborn about divorce-#maybe it would have been more okay for henry to divorce anne instead of. yknow. chopping her head off.#gently implied angst with the. well. i hurt this person i care about. unintentionally. but still. hence also the historical counterparts bg#... i feel like this isn't suffering (italicised for emphasis) but unfortunately? i am in a more melancholy mood#and also coming to conclusion that whump isnt really my taste.. so quite literally you'd have to pay me to draw it .. dfdsghjkl comms open#anyways yeah i think the most you'll get from my own stuff is <reference to beheading> <mentioned death> <abstract reds that might be blood#six the musical#six the musical fanart#anne boleyn#catherine of aragon#pssst drew anne extra pretty bc coa pov. if you get what i mean.#oh that got off tangent. but also tldr; requests mean free art!! (also idm if you ask for specific things. like your own aus. just to put#that out there)#but also requests: 1. up to my creative freedom and discretion so you probs won't get exactly what you want + 2. no time limit so#can take literal years to reply to.#so ig ? if you have specific things in mind. that you want me to draw. commissions would be better for you if you'll pay!#but if you don't have the money i'm also. lowkey willing to draw for free.. stick it in the inbox .. there's just no guarantee you'll get it#within the next year.. or at all! but you may as well try your luck o.O#(this plan is terrible for business but because for a very long time i was unable to buy anything online. i sympathise greatly ig)
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feminisedlad · 21 days
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liked the people’s joker but to no one’s surprise i wish the depictions of trans masculinity were, um, more nuanced. but it’s still really fucking good and worth seeing. just don’t expect to see any fully developed trans masc characters who aren’t like, explicitly abusive shitheads or joke characters
8.5/10 movie, would be a 9.5 if they’d given the penguin mastectomy scars. if your only character with visible top surgery scars or visible transmasc traits is a fucking shithead, idk, i think that is sort of mean to the other type of trans person who is Not You
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holedyke · 2 months
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of course the night i need to get to bed at a reasonable hour bc i have a early rise is ruined by my own brain working me up into a complete meltdown 😵‍💫 i am a prisoner to myselfffff
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the reason i’m not afraid of aging is because i want to be a hot middle-aged man who has a toxic yaoi relationship with another middle-aged man
#u know i used to be so afraid of aging until i realized that i want to be a dilf. now it’s kinda exciting#i realized recently that i could never picture myself living past my twenties until i pictured myself as a man#but like. i want to be a man and a woman and nothing and everything#but like. i’m cool with how i look now for the most part idk if i would want to transition physically at least not rn#and rn i still dress fem enough that everyone goes straight to she/her#and i like she/her but it hurts rn#bc some of my family has switched to they/them or it/its and it’s just so soothing#but family that knows i don’t like it still use she/her and phrases like ‘daughter’ or whatever even more often on purpose#and it hurts bc i don’t really feel the need to change the way i dress/look but i know everyone assumes she/her#when they see me in a dress or skirt. even w how very not-cis my fashion sense is#but also i fucking hate pants which is a separate thing (prob autism tbh) and even if i wore pants they’d still use she/her#thinking of changing my name to something very masc so i can confuse people enough that they’ll stop defaulting to she/her#and i haven’t told ppl outside my immediate family so idc if they use she/her but i’m fucking pissed when ppl in the family do it#anyways side note when i was 12 my ideal gender (b4 i knew about being non-cis) was a floating consciousness w no body#or a plastic-doll-like creation that’s smooth all over#… i still want to be a floating consciousness actually lmao. it would be great#back then i hated being a girl but i didn’t know there were more options and also i was socially isolated (didn’t leave home for like 2yrs)#and my mother was openly transphobic whenever the topic was brought up so that was my only real experience#but i didn’t really internalize it other than the fact that my mother would be rude if i ever happened to be not-cis and guess what? she is#anyways it’s like 2am and also i’m only awake bc i was captivated by a sugar daddy middle aged gay fic for a show i watched like 5 episodes#for 2 years ago#sorry for rambling in the middle of the night lol#gn y’all
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satansknitwear · 1 year
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Thankfully these were at the top of my camera roll, so i am not completely postless right now 😑
Treat me ~ Tip me
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months
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The way masato could’ve used tape or something instead of a binder but I like the idea of him being so determined to be a miserable piece of shit that he didn’t out of spite (spite for who? I don’t even think masato knows atp)
BIG AGREE.....
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mutalune · 4 months
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love going on the “hi yeah I haven’t even looked at my inbox/messages for months sorry sorry sorry it’s nothing personal my life’s just been in shambles and I’m starting to pick it back up even though I know I’m gonna drop all the pieces at least 3 more times before the year’s over” shame tour I’mma make t-shirts later for it
#starlight personal#gonna be actually answering the questions in my inbox#planning to post the notes for tmagr since I’m probs never gonna finish it#and I’m making 0 promises to have any kind of consistent online presence#b/c I’ve learned it’s best for my mental health to delete these apps when I’m approaching crisis mode#so I’ll just be like the fun uncle who shows up to holidays with a six pack of nonalcoholic beer;#chats about whatever#slides you a $20#and disappears for the next 2 years#tbf 2023 was a horrible year okay it was so bad#some of it included; I almost got a grippy sock vacation twice#i tried a few new meds and they all sucked and i went through Literal Drug Withdrawal to the point i was sick for a month and lost 30lbs#i started ketamine treatment and experienced ego death twice!!!! horrifying!!!!!#i got my manager fired#i got my coworker fired#everyone else on the team quit and j was the last one left#my cat died and it was the worst thing that ever happened and it still hurts so bad#the person i thought would be a forever best friend was just. not there for me. and b/c i was struggling and not putting in 150% effort#the friendship just. died. and we live 5 min away from each other yet she’s out of my life forever#it’s for the best but that’s a different kinda grief man#ANYWAY I HAD A TERRIBLE YEAR#2024 is off to a somewhat better start but I’m keeping expectations low#first ketamine appt of the year was. brutal. and tough. and it’s been over a week and I still feel raw#everyone who knows about ketamine: it helps you process emotions and trauma and brings those things to the surface so u can work on them#me when it brings trauma to the surface and makes me feel my feelings: this is HORRIBLE what the FUCK my entire innards are exposed and raw#I forgot how easy it is to babble in the tags like this it doesn’t feel real since I doubt anyone will read all of this lmao#god I’d kill for some weed rn BUT HAHA YEAH ANKTJER SHITTY PART LF 2023 I GOTTA CUT BACK ON WEED#can’t even have one bad coping skill like come on
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halo--hall · 22 days
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can't decide if the headache i have had for days is a gum thing or a sinus thing or both but it's pairing really well with the shoulder pain i've had for weeks lmao. mystery chronic illness is awesome
#i mean i'm pretty sure it is a combo of pots and heds and long covid but#i don't have money to pursue a real diagnosis or treatment of any of these things#so i just keep self medicating & going to my multiple manual labor jobs that will make all of my mystery illnesses worse before they kill me#mwah! <3333 i don't want to live like this anymore!#my chronic pain keeps getting worse bc of the manual labor & that pain stacked on the psychic pain of being in constant ptsd flashbacks for#the last month is making it impossible for me to get anything done & it's also turning me into a much meaner person than i even am as#a baseline lol#sorry to be vulnerable on main but i'm in excruciating pain emotionally and physically at all times and i can't cope w it anymore#i literally do not want to live like this anymore 😎 but i gotta go to the candy store in a couple hours so#time to load up on pot and ibuprofen!#i owe so many people texts and am behind on so much admin work for the salon and my bitch ass theatre company#but i just have to lay in bed and save my spoons so i can drag my bloated carcass into either of my jobs so i can be a good wage slave#anyway thanks for reading lets all manifest me making lots of money this weekend!#i've been short on bills every month since i got hurt despite how much i work & i can't fucking catch up on anything bc of that so like#would be very sexy if i made enough money before the first to cover my basic living expenses teehee#i prob won't tho lmao womp womp
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gimmethatagustd · 1 year
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another poll cuz I like to know what y’all are thinking about 💜
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sensazioneultra · 3 months
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idk why i'm in so much pain today but i hate it so much i feel like crying god my body fucking sucks
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thxnks4themrms · 3 months
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i'm so sorry i'm going insane rn
Me too babe me too
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mostlykind · 1 year
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realistically speaking, experiencing love the way it’s portrayed in books and tv shows would probably be traumatic but sometimes a bitch is delusional
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kiegotakami · 7 months
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in the best way possible. it’s possible that was all in my head
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gree-gon · 1 year
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there will be no art for prob quite some time, as my arm is the equivalent of a sack of potatoes rn
but !! i will still drop silly hc and thoughts, as well as reblogging ur amazing art <3
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So I was going to comment I don’t know your favorite Yakuza character then I remembered it was Jo and I have to ask what specifically about him makes him number one?
if you're referring to my baddie baddies tier list, then that wasn't a tier list of my favorite yakuza characters it was a tier list specifically of how hot i found each antagonist to be unless you're coming from my DB blog where i said he was one of my faves but this/that amirite
regardless tho i will talk about why i love jo cause he genuinely is one of my fave charas in general and the reason for that uhhhhh he's neat :) and hot.
But In All Seriousness i unno, it's hard for me to explain why i like characters sometimes. i'll try under the cut tho cause It Gets Long
for jo, a big part of it is how he is as a father- or trying to be a father anyway. he didn't think twice about giving aoki up as a baby- he didn't even really care if he died or not. it was only thanks to masumi that aoki got that chance at life, and if it weren't for the fact he accidentally walked by masumi and aoki that one day jo probably would've gone the rest of his life without having a second thought about it
but thats the thing: they did cross paths that day, and jo's forced to confront the fact his actions did have consequences. he was forced to grow up out of that mentality he had as a kid- that if you don't look at the problem, it'll go away. evidently, they didn't: his actions had consequences, consequences that affected not only his or ikumi's life, but aoki was ultimately going to be the one to shoulder the burden the most because they couldn't be bothered to just give him to someone and tried to leave him in a locker of all places. it's what heightens jo's quote to ichi about taking responsibility as a yakuza all the more impactful in retrospect as well, and it's details like that that make revisiting the game all the more fun
but back to jo, he fully realizes what he did was fucked up, and that there's no conceivable way he can ever make amends or right his wrongs. joining the yakuza would be the next best thing for his goals, not like he saw much of an honest future for himself anyway. at the very least, he can try to support his son anyway he can no matter the cost- or at least, anyway he can for the most part.
jo's inability to kill masumi despite it being a direct order from aoki himself is also such a telling part of his character that makes me weep a little. he entered the yakuza with sole intentions of looking after aoki and taking care of him, nothing more or nothing less. ergo, it would be up to masumi to decide how much jo gets to be involved in his son's life
but that's the thing right: masumi would be the one primarily taking care of aoki. we know masumi tries to keep in touch with aoki via the beginning of the game where he laments his calls don't get returned, and masumi seemed to spend whatever time he could with aoki growing up based off of ichi's brief flashback.
being a yakuza boss be damned, jo got to see first hand how much masumi loved his son despite his circumstances that would've made a lesser parent quit or despise him- that despite his status as a yakuza boss, he would be there and be an active presence in aoki's life enough to annoy him and think of him as nothing more than a helicopter parent. i'm willing to bet that despite jo trying to brush off the sentiment that masumi was anything more than a patriarch to him, he probably did harbor genuine respect dare i say adoration for him. how could he not? even if masumi didn't know aoki wasn't really his son, he took care of him as though he were, complications and all.
if we wanna stretch it, then based off the RGGO iteration of sawashiro, he got his tattoo in direct honor of arakawa: if we're to believe that bits of RGGO sawashiro made it to Y7 sawashiro, then it's fair to say sawashiro's dedication and respect to masumi were immense (though we can make the argument that Y7 sawashiro might not have the same tattoo, or that his tattoo now could be dedicated to taking care of aoki instead- BUT this is speculation at this point, its just something i think of and i figured i'd add it).
which what makes One Of My Favorite Yakuza Scenes all the more meaningful: the day masumi is found dead, that's when we get to see jo really lose it and gives us one of the bloodier moments in the franchise. us getting to see jo actually puncture someone's eye in really heightens his anger with the circumstances at hand- i concede that jo was genuinely frustrated with how the yakuza were being toyed with, but i also dont doubt for a second he was sincere when he told ishioda he wanted to maim whoever took out masumi ishioda was probably thanking the stars tendo was the one to do him in amirite LMAOO. whether it's because of yakuza honor or having lost someone he cared about, jo's dedication is palpable and frightening when it's allowed to flourish
its weird to say tho someone said it a long time ago on one of my tags, but jo's sentimental for a yakuza, even if he wants to be a hard ass about it. he's made his life's purpose trying to right a wrong that can never be fixed (hell, his manner of fighting can be translated as "shame style" reaffirming that despite the years gone by and aoki's actions and disregard for him, he can't quell his guilt. never mind he was ready to take off ichi's finger based on the assumption he took aoki's money from him with his permission), and along the way i'm Hopeful in saying he found SOMEWHAT of a confidant in masumi to make his burden a bit lighter.
jo's by no means a good guy- not even by a long shot. he IS however an incredibly compelling character, and i'm glad that we get to see him somewhat again in LaD8 for however long they'll keep him around in that.
also his theme fucks 11/10 brutality's a fucking banger
#snap chats#god this is longer than i thought#i probably left out some notes but yeah. i love jo#i think he's great i love the arakawa family sm and jo's a real special part of it#i didnt think it would fit in the main text but one of my favorite throwaway lines from masumi#is talking about how jo can be softer on aoki compared to masumi#like UGH. I WONDER WHY //CRIES//#honestly i just wanna know how the family's arrangements were made yk what i mean#cause masumi would be with the tojo and sawashiro evidently would stick with aoki#i just wanna know when they decided that- i still believe jo went to america with him#that musta been ironically sweet of masumi huh. jo gets to spend all this time with his son#his bitch ass son who hates him and would rather see him dead LMAO //weeps//#but UGH AGAIN that just reinforces jo's dedication dont it.#it has me believe that if jo thinks about trying to correct his son he might be doing him another wrong#like Oh You Already Ruined His Lungs Now You're Going To Do This?#he might also have partial anxiety about being like his abusive father and not wanting to extend that to aoki#tho that part's more of a stretch if im honest#still it's safe to say jo doesn't push back against aoki because of his neverending guilt#uuuughhhh i could prob talk bout jo for hours he's just so good of a character to me i love love love him#i love it when characters try to do better even if it hurts them#I LOVE IT WHEN PARENTS LOVE THEIR KIDS AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM. EVEN IF AOKI DON'T DESERVE IT ☠️#its the parental issues in me sorry#but yeah if you read all this. thanks :)#and if not. well. i had fun rambling about jo anyway :)
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