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hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 4 years

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The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 30: AMJ #4.2

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This post is something of an exception in my coverage of AMJ. Originally I hoped to dedicate just one post per issue but changed that to two due to the length. The pages I’ll be covering here though are exceptional.

Not just because I had so much to say about them, but because they cut to the heart of the story. These pages present Williams’ attempt to finally justify MJ’s actions throughout the story. As such I’ve opted to single these pages out in this instalment and continue covering the rest of the story next time.

If you want the context for the preceding pages check out the previous post.

The pages revolve around MJ chatting with Master Matrix. It turns out he knows ‘McKnight’ is really Quentin Beck. She thanks him for keeping their secret. Master Matrix asks MJ how Spider-Man feels about her working with Mysterio; I guess he knows about her connection to Peter too.

MJ gets a little flustered by this question. MM continues that he’s questioned how to raise this subject with Spidey himself. MJ relates to this and explains that Peter knows she’s working on a Mysterio movie, just not with the man himself. MM asks why she’s deceiving Peter. MJ explains she isn’t being deceitful on purpose (um…yeah she is) but is just protecting Beck because she believes in what he is doing.

MM makes the (incredibly obvious) point that Mysterio is a villain and Spidey is good. He elaborates that they are both hiding the truth from a good person to collaborate with a villain. MJ responds by asking if MM understands the concept of redemption. He says he does.

Lord have mercy, this page is awful.

Now I should be upfront. I didn’t read Spider-Man/Deadpool so maybe I need to be set straight about certain important details from that title. I don’t know how or why Master Matrix knows who Spider-Man is for example. My brief research tells me he was rescued by Peter’s parents or something. I don’t recall seeing anything about Mysterio when I read up on him, so I don’t know how or why he’d know ‘McKnight’ is really Beck. Maybe his abilities allow for him to deduce that fact? If not, then that’s yet another hole in the story.

Anyway, the point is he knows Peter is Spider-Man, keeps in contact with him and by extension knows about (or has deduced) MJ’s connection to Peter. What’s less clear is how Mary Jane knows about MM’s connection to Peter. We’ve never seen them talk about him or any of Peter’s adventures with Deadpool for that matter.

I’m willing to accept that personally I guess. As I went over in parts 3-5, Peter does clue MJ into major events in his Spidey career. I suppose befriending a living Weapon of Mass Destruction would count as something your partner ought to know about. This ultimately hurts Williams’ own narrative though. It demonstrates that Peter has been very honest and open with MJ whilst she hasn’t. It also further proves that Peter would inform MJ of his hero career, which would include Beck and his past crimes. Therefore MJ would very likely know about all the stuff Beck did in ‘Guardian Devil’ and just about everything else we discussed in parts 3-5. And yet, she’s still getting chummy with a murderous, sexually violating monster.

We then come to the lame-ass attempt by Williams to address MJ’s motivations for this arc. First of all, Williams thinks now this is the best time to address that elephant in the room? It’s the penultimate issue of the arc (originally the entire series)! This shouldn’t been pinned down by issue #1 or #2 at the absolute latest.

Lateness aside, Williams’ attempt (unsurprisingly) utterly fails. MJ comes off almost childish when she says she isn’t ‘being deceitful on purpose’. A quick look at the definition of deceit proves that to be bullshit.

It’s the equivalent of saying “I’m not lying. I just happen to be withholding certain truths.”

Yeah that’s lying by omission, which is a form of deceit!

As for her justification for deceiving Peter, I’ve gone over that more than enough. MJ wouldn’t believe in what Beck is doing. Or at least she never would to the point where she’d lie to Peter the way she is or protect a terrible person like Beck.

The audacity of Williams to bring up how MJ is protecting a villain and deceiving a hero is unbelievable. It’s honestly left me flabbergasted. So, Williams KNOWS that’s what she’s written MJ as doing? She KNOWS that but she’s still having MJ do it? Or is she really just incredibly unaware and paying lip-service?

Maybe the next page will enlighten us.

So MJ just asked if MM understands redemption, which he does intimately. She follows up by saying he’d understand then that it’s not a simple switch from bad to good. Rather, it’s a journey that takes a lot of work; work Beck is putting in right now. MJ feels she is protecting Beck’s ‘journey’. It isn’t that she thinks Peter incapable of understanding this (quite the contrary), she just hasn’t figured out how to tell him. She doesn’t want him to worry about her and feels he is already got enough on his mind.

MM then asks what if MJ has misjudged Beck? To this she concedes she will have deceived Pete, which makes her feel sick.

MM then reveals he was created as a WMD and that he is sure Beck knows tha. He elaborates that when Beck approached him, he presumed it was for the sake of efficiency. However, now he realises it’s because Beck wanted to give him the chance to make something meaningful. In this sense Beck has used his own journey of redemption to protect MM’s own. MM feels utterly indebted to Beck for this.

MJ responds that all MM can do is earn that debt in reverse.

Meanwhile, Diperna has arrived. Screwball has been harassing the journalist with her drones this entire time and continues to do so out of pure fun.

Jesus Christ where to start with this.

MJ is correct that a journey of redemption is more than just a switch from bad to good. It is indeed a long hard journey.

But as I’ve illustrated in parts 9-11, MJ wouldn’t extend the possibility of redemption to Beck given what she knows about him. His actions in this story so far do not reflect someone who’s ‘putting the work in’ at all. He’s evaded the law, broken (and is still breaking) numerous laws to get to this point and shows no signs that he’s going to face the music for his crimes. He’s not even attempted to make amends to the people he’s wronged beyond his old flame Betsy. His attempt with her has been mutated due to MJ to the point where it’s hardly what Beck intended in the first place. Even if it was his ‘apology’ to Betsy would’ve amounted to making her look cool and sexy which by extension glorified himself. Every one of his attempts to help people like Master Matrix have ultimately benefitted himself.

The closest he’s come to honest self-sacrifice, of doing something good purely for the sake of others, was fighting the Savage Six last issue. But even that was selfish to a point. He had personal beef with the Vulture. They were trashing his movie. In defeating them and protecting his staff he was in turn aiding the protection of his life’s work. In contrast, I detailed several instances in part 10 where criminals put themselves on the line to help people selflessly. Boomerang, Black Cat, Sandman, Venom. All of those people risked their freedom and/or their health for Spidey, for innocents or for the grater good.

Beck hasn’t done that yet. Everything he’s done, even if it has protected innocent people, has simultaneously served his own materialistic or egotistical goals. Hell, given the ease with which he dealt with the Six, it barely qualifies as putting himself at risk.

Extending a helping hand to people like himself is not grounds for putting the work in. He’s helping other criminal/dangerous people make something meaningful. So what? Will he be donating the money to the loved ones of the people he’s hurt? Or to the people thsmselves? Is he going to create a trust fund for Gwyneth’s baby? We know he isn’t going to apologise for his evil actions though the film because MJ said so back in issue #1.

MJ is protecting a murderer, a mental abuser, a sexual abuser and a generally horrible person. Someone who wants forgiveness but has not actually demonstrated anything in the way of repentance for his actions. As AMJ laid out, he wants to be forgiven by making everyone understand who he is and why he did what he did.

He (and seemingly MJ and Williams) is confusing understanding with justifying. We can understand how and why people did something bad. That’s very different to justifying it and thereby forgiving them.

Even in the over simplistic good/evil world of super hero comic books this is simply not how redemption works. In addition to the examples I listed in part 10 let’s consider an example from a comic book movie.

Maybe you’ve heard of it, it’s called ‘Spider-Man’ from 2002.

In the film a guy named Peter Parker confronts the man he believes murdered his uncle, the man who raised him. The criminal is scared but not apologetic for what he’s done, and he asks to be given a chance. Peter’s response is.

What about my uncle? Did you give him a chance?

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We can very much apply this to AMJ. Beck wants a chance, MJ is giving him that chance. So I ask:

What about Gwyneth?

What about her parents?

What about her baby?

What about the families of the seniors Beck swindled?

What about the real Cage McKnight’s reputation?

What about all the people terrified by Beck’s tantrum in AMJ #2?

What about all the people Screwball or Kangaroo have hurt?

What about Dr. Winhorst?

What about all the people and all the animals harmed or killed when Doc Ock heated up half the globe?

What about all the people scared or hurt when he faked an alien invasion in ASM v5 #1?

Did Beck ever even hint he gave any of them the slightest chance?

No. He didn’t.

For God’s sake, a terrible story like ‘Venom: Lethal Protector’ wasn’t as naïve or childish as this story. Venom is called out for murdering a man’s son. He acknowledges this but tries to argue he didn’t mean to kill him. The story though doesn’t let him off the hook for it.

If a 1990s Venom mini-series can acknowledge a homicidal maniac shouldn’t be given a chance just because he’s sorry, then why the Hell can’t this story?

There is another great non-comic book example that illustrates this point. It comes from the Doctor Who episode ‘Boom Town’. Whilst not a comic book or superhero story, Doctor Who is often regarded as a cousin of sorts to the former. Marvel even made Doctor Who comics for a long time.

In the episode in question, the Doctor shares a ‘last meal’ with an alien criminal whom he intends to hand over to the authorities.

She is guilty of murder, attempted genocide and fraud and identity theft in the vein of Beck; although she is literally wearing the skin of the person she’s impersonating. To gain the Doctor’s mercy she tries to prove she’s changed, specifically by explaining a time she spared a life. Earlier that day she readied herself to kill a young journalist sniffing around her plans, but refrained upon learning she was pregnant.

The Doctor believes the story but is totally unconvinced. He explains it doesn’t mean anything. Every now and then terrible people on a whim happen to be kind and spare their would-be victims. It’s how they live with themselves.

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Whilst Mysterio is probably nowhere near as bad as the alien criminal, his case for forgiveness is arguably worse.

He’s continuing to steal the real Cage McKnight’s identity, he has never indicated he’s going to continue to help people after the film is completed. He caused panic and would’ve caused harm had a third party (MJ) not intervened to keep him under control. And his equivalent of sparing a life amounts to giving other criminals the chance to help realize his personal vanity project.

Not to mention, MJ and Beck continuously insist upon the movie being something meaningful but how could they possibly know that. A movie isn’t meaningful just because it means something to the film makers. The audience decides if it’s meaningful or not. Frankly Beck’s insistence he’s giving his staff the chance to make something good and meaningful is egotistical. As though the mere act of film making or his own life story is inherently something with artistic merit or something meaningful in the universe.

Yes, some films are. But even then their ability to do something helpful and positive is relatively limited. A piece of media’s practical abilities to positively contribute to the universe is limited compared to say, donating time or money to the needy. At least there you would’ve done something with a definitive impact even if it was a small one. A movie like this might illicit emotions and make some people feel happy, might inspire them to do good, might make them understand themselves or another better. But the key words there are ‘might’ and ‘maybe’.

When you get right down to it, even the most influential movies don’t positively contribute helping people as much as individuals actually actively doing stuff to help others. I mean are we really going to say the ‘Black Panther’ film had as much of a positive impact as the Civil Right Movement?

Absolutely not.

Let’s use a fictional example. Would the stage play about the Fantastic Four (as seen in ASM v5 #25) have been as meaningful as the efforts of the actual Fantastic Four in fighting Galactus?

Absolutely not.

I’m not saying films don’t matter or can’t have a meaningful positive impact. I’m just saying if Beck wanted to achieve the latter, there were better options than making a film about himself.

He could’ve donated his ill-gotten gains to needy communities. Or handed over his technology and techniques to the public? Or used his skills to expose white-collar criminals? Or even have started up a company selling his technology and employing criminals semi-legally reducing the need for them to resort to crime.

But he didn’t. He’s fulfilling his own personal dream and making himself centre stage.

As for MJ lying to Peter because she doesn’t want him to worry and has his own problems, see parts 17-18 for why that’s bullshit. And see parts 19-23 for why Peter, and MJ herself, should be worried about her in this situation. And that was before the Savage Six made them a target, a fact that should have resulted in Peter already being worried.

Hypothetically even if this wasn’t something to worry about, MJ could be open about it with Peter and convince him to relax. He begrudgingly accepted her staying with him during Marvel Knights in spite of the dangers to herself.

She equally made him see sense in ‘Parallel Lives’ after their home had just been attacked.

Whilst this situation is something to be concerned about, if MJ was in fact in no danger, then she could talk Peter around to trusting her.

I’ll also add she’s had plenty of time to figure out ‘how to tell him’ the truth. She knows he’s living with Boomerang so right there that’s a potential route to breaking in the conversation. She could bring up Venom, or Sandman or Felicia. There are multiple people they’ve mutually given chances to that could be used as a way to engage with Peter on this topic. By this comic’s own brand of ‘logic’ those are perfectly viable arguments MJ could use.

Don’t get me wrong. Those are false equivalencies. But I’m just saying Williams’ clearly doesn’t think this situation is any different to those ones, therefore there are plenty of grounds for MJ to talk to Peter about this. She even has MJ say ‘of course’ Peter would understand.

It’s almost like Williams knows that this situation cannot actually be justified. Or she’s injecting contrived false drama for the sake of drama with no mind paid to established characterization.

Hence we get trite like MJ saying she ‘will have deceived’ Peter if she’s wrong about Mysterio. First of all, Williams is again acknowledging how asinine her narrative is. She’s acknowledging that MJ is gambling that her judgement of Beck is on point. Her judgement of a guy who’s power set revolves around misdirection. Second of all, MJ wouldn’t have deceived Peter if she’s wrong. She’s already deceived him and is continuing to do so. Thirdly why exactly does Mary Jane get to be the singular person deciding if it is okay to gamble on Beck’s redemption? Who is she exactly to decide if this murderer and abuser is worth keeping out of jail?

In the real world if such a risk is taken it doesn’t ride upon one person’s decision; at least not in theory.

Let’s move onto Master Matrix. Again, I don’t know enough about him to discuss Beck’s knowledge of him. Maybe it makes sense, or maybe it’s a big question that’s being left unanswered. Regardless, I detest framing Beck as this selfless redeemer through Master Matrix’s subplot. I hate it almost as much as I hate the nonsensical dialogue that follows it.

What the fuck does ‘earning it in reverse’ even mean? I guess it means living up to Beck’s trust? But then why not phrase it that way? Even if that was the intent, see above for why giving MM a chance doesn’t really mean anything. Not to mention, both MM and MJ are just kind of presuming that Beck was in fact being altruistic.

That’s all for now. We’ll resume coverage of the rest of the issue next time.

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homenum-revelio-hq · 5 years

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Welcome (back) to the Order of the Phoenix, Ashlie!

You have been accepted for the role of SIRIUS BLACK! We were so excited to see you back with an application for Sirius again, as we felt we still had so much to learn about him from last time! Once again, we were impressed with how well you incorporated Sirius’ flaws throughout the application and are thrilled to have him back on the dash!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Ashlie

AGE: 22

TIMEZONE: est

ACTIVITY LEVEL: Generally i attempt to get online every day. When multiple posts get long (and I have a habit of turning everything into a para) it may be two days of plotting and drafting and that third day my posts get out onto the dash however I’ve been blessed with weekends off and typically you’ll see a wide influx of activity on my end during friday/saturday/sunday

ANYTHING ELSE: Triggers: flashing gifs

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Sirius Orion Black

AGE: 21

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Male/he/him – Sirius had spent most of his adolescence too busy trying to have a good time and frustrating his mother to ever stop and think of sexual attraction. His heart is very much guarded and his head has always been on pranks and friends to the point that he was behind the majority of his peers in terms of romantic and sexual maturation. He never denied the rumors, and if you asked anyone other than the Marauders and possibly McGonagall (he still doesn’t know how that woman always manages to see through him) they would likely tell you a he-said-she-said going on for over half an hour of his endeavors. Truthfully Sirius is a virgin with no clue where his attraction lies and he isn’t sure he’s ready to find out.

BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood. Sirius struggles to recall a time his blood status was not the focal point of his identity and the harder he pushed away, the stronger it clung to him. From the day he was born he was never Sirius– but the Black family heir. The one who would inherit the family fortune, carry on the name of the most noble and ancient. As he grew older he became the rebel, the disgrace to the 28 who was only headed for trouble and needed to be set straight. His own housemates saw him as nothing more than a overly-privileged pureblooded brat who wanted to play like he was one of them for a while. He had truly thought he escaped the stereotypes of a member of the Sacred 28 when he’d been disowned, forced to be a burden on his best friend and start an entirely new life, but even still he heard it. That Black kid got what was coming to him, nothing but a spoiled brat who didn’t know how good he had it until it was gone.

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor. Sirius is not afraid of anything in this world more than what he would be if it were not for this house. For the first time in his life he understood the difference between a house and a home. He made friends, felt cared for, and was free to be himself entirely without fear of extreme retributions. He has always been impulsive, reckless, and looking for a bit of trouble, however if James hadn’t planted the idea of being a Gryffindor in his mind he is not entirely sure where he would have gone to in order to get that rush. Most likely to his older cousins.

ANY CHANGES: N/A

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

No matter how hard he tries to display otherwise, certain aspects of Sirius have always screamed the privilege of a pureblooded wizard, and while that wasn’t always a bad thing, in the middle of a war over rights it was hard for any of his acquaintances to see it in a positive light. The sense of entitlement was obvious to those who were raised differently than him, although may be more difficult to spot by his fellow purebloods. Sirius has only had one thing he truly wanted and wasn’t granted– the acceptance of his family. Even after all these years he is still in denial, pushing at every turn to gain their anger because it’s easier than to admit he secretly wants their affections. Now for the second time he isn’t getting his way, his time with the friends who have been more of a family to him than his blood ever had is spacing out more by the day and he is unsure of how to cope. Sirius has always been impulsive, when the stress and anxiety gets too much to bear he lashes out, acts up and can forget it isn’t always his own safety he is putting at risk. After that day at the willow- he’s refused to call it a prank since it happened- he has tried to put more thoughts into his actions but quite often even still, his racing thoughts take over.

His entitlement doesn’t make him a bad person, it just takes a lot more effort to get Sirius to allow a person to see past the barriers he has put around himself. He wants the people around him to see a blank expression, an uncaring bad-boy, because if he doesn’t care he can’t be hurt again. It takes a lot to get past those coping mechanisms, even more to earn his trust but if you get there Sirius Black is loyal to a fault. His life and well being means nothing more than to be there for the people he loves and he would lose everything to keep them safe and happy. He prefers to take care of people in a more sneaky way, as a child he would take the blame for a mistake his brother made, or cause even more of a stir to get the attention on himself. He was the one to take the detentions and say they never got caught, or lie and say he needed a night in when he knew one of his friends needed a break. It is easy to see Sirius as nothing more than another pompous asshole but for those who take the time to truly get to know him he’s a secret softy with a lot of love to give.

His nonchalance is worn like armor, so heavily ingrained into his being that sometimes he evens forgets to take it down in front of the people he is closest to in the world. He jests it is so he doesn’t get crows feet, keep a neutral face to keep it free of wrinkles. In reality, he’s either calculating how he is supposed to react, taking in the atmosphere around him to form a proper reaction or too caught up on the here and now to get emotional over something that is happening later. He’ll get properly excited when it’s actually happening. However, it’s quite ironic that someone who turns into a dog has a grin like a Cheshire cat.

Sirius Black has a bark bigger than his bite and will try and scare you away until he finally gives up and snuggles up in your lap, getting fur all over your favorite sweater.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Being one of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black was a full time job. The Blacks were an old, wealthy family and looked up to as the pinnacle of pureblood society. As the heir to such a prominent name and fortune, every small move Sirius made was on alert. From the time he was an infant he was expected to hold and share these values with the rest of society and his affection was based entirely on what he could do for his family. When his robes were sloppy from trying to keep up with Bella he was a disgrace, punished heavily and it was extremely confusing to such a young mind. If he was supposed to be better than everyone in the room simply for being a Black, how was he also an abomination? It was stressful and anxiety-inducing, but all Sirius wanted was to please his mother. After hours of talking to his father’s boring stuffy friends, he couldn’t help but run around for a few hours, or take a fly around the garden. He didn’t try to get himself into trouble- he just needed to move. He did slowly learn that his mother’s love was never truly in his reach, not for sale at all and decided to stop fooling himself. The panic, the tears, none of it was worth fighting for the kindness he would never receive.

He remembered the uncle who no one spoke of anymore, knew just how real the threats of completely being removed from the family for not fitting in were. But for some reason it just made Sirius rebel more– cling to the second family he had made for himself in a small group of Gryffindor boys.

Still, when the options were laid in front of him he had not said no immediately. The Dark Lord needed a spy in the school and offered Sirius for what his parents considered the highest of honors. Choose this now, and his entire past would be forgiven, he would be the son his mother always wanted. The favorite child once again. Regulus might be free to live a life outside of the war, outside of the Death Eaters and it would all be because of Sirius. Or he could run away, disappear in the night and lose the only family he had ever known for the chance of getting away. He knew he would never really have fought for Voldemort, for anyone who believed the awful things his parents were constantly rattling off like a gaggle of trained clones. But he had been tempted for the briefest moment. He thinks about it still while he wonders if he could ever duel his baby brother, his cousins. He thinks about how easy it was to send Snape off to that Willow when he knew just how dangerous it would be. Should he really be a part of the Order or will he always be nothing more than another narrow-minded, privileged Black just without all the money?

If it has not already been made a plot point, I would love to explore Sirius’ reaction to discovering Regulus’ part in the war. He has nothing to do with his younger brother anymore, but he held Reg on a pedestal and is in denial that his brother would be on the other side of a wand in a duel. Of course, he knows Regulus would have joined, but he refuses to admit it to himself because Sirius taught him better than that. He finds an excuse to leave the room if the Black family might be mentioned, and quite possibly gets coddled in the sense that if conversation is headed in the direction of his family it gets changed. It’s a huge part of the reason he will never be part of the inner circle, he cannot handle fully cutting himself off from the Black family. He’s not on the tree, but he’ll always see the baby brother he swore to protect, the family he craved love from and the versions of them he so wanted them to be.

OCCUPATION:

Tattoo Artist at Markus Scarrs Indelible Tattoo Parlor. Sirius working in Knockturn Alley absolutely turned a few heads, but he had always enjoyed the attention, good or bad he always had been drawn to other people talking about him. He had transfigured himself a sketch pad third year and art had become an outlet he never thought he would obtain. It was like a diary– his deepest thoughts and fears laid out in that book and when he had the opportunity to use art to pay his rent he was fairly excited for the opportunity. Besides, Sirius knows what kind of people linger around Knockturn Alley. Not often anyone high enough to know the most inner workings of Voldemort’s ranks, but if he could just hear confirmation that Reg is alive- it would be worth every hour in that shop.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

After spending seven years as a close-knit gang of teenage boys, coming up with nicknames and wreaking havoc on Hogwarts’ ground and staff- Sirius had not been ready to give it up. The rush of the Marauders made him feel something besides the panic of never being good enough for the first time in his life and the Order seemed to be a bigger and better version of this, but this time with a purpose. Coming in Sirius got a kick out of the meetings, knowing how his mother would disapprove and putting his money where his mouth is to prove to every person who ever told him he would never be anything more than another privileged pureblood.

The realities of war are starting to hit in a way that made Sirius wonder if he had ever truly been as progressive as he liked to think he was. He’s slowly realizing the danger that the people he cares about are in, and just how wrong what is happening is and he’s starting to really fight for a cause rather than trying to cause as much trouble as he can while he’s young and alive. But it’s still all centered around himself and his own world. Sirius wants to fight for his friends’ safety. Get this war over with so he does not have to deal with any more loss.

Even if he had been blasted off the family tree years ago, he will always be Sirius Black to the outside world. It is easy to question how he fits into the order when he is a part of who they are fighting. He was raised differently than most of the Order, he has more prejudices, more doubts, and reasons to screw them over. All he and the rest of them have to go off of is that he would never do it.

SURVIVAL:

Sirius had always been blessed with the fact that everything he has done has come to him with ease, including his dueling skills. The issue with this is he is now fighting others with that same ability, and not all of them have the nostalgia of being his blood relative. Sirius had been doing something he has struggled with his entire life- laying low. He knew how the minds of these Death Eaters work, and the less pure blood they had to spill the better. He has been getting by on the Black family name, though he hates to admit it. His being disowned was clear when he stopped reluctantly tagging along to every request of an heir to such a prominent name and fortune but as his mother refused to discuss anything that would embarrass their family even more, his parents had never confirmed anything. That didn’t mean another member of their family hadn’t strongly hinted, but there was always that sense of wonder on both sides of who he was really fighting for.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Romantic relationships are not on the top of Sirius’ mind at the moment, he is too busy clinging onto his friendships with a harsh fear of separation between them all. The less time Sirius has had with his friends, the more he’s clung to them and is at the point where he’s nervous he’ll start to push them away as well. It’s all he’s good at really, letting down the people he loves.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: sirius/chemistry - i need to feel out this version of Sirius before I confirm but I do tend to fall toward an ace Sirius

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Sirius wasn’t prejudiced; he wasn’t. He would never call someone a mudblood, not now that he knew it was wrong. Maybe it’s slipped in conversation, but only with other purebloods, he would never say it to a muggleborn. He was out here fighting for them and their rights, so how could he prejudice against them? Sirius just doesn’t understand how things got so bad so quickly. His entire life muggleborns had been completely equal, had all the same opportunities he did. They possibly even had a leg up on him with Dumbledore’s reign on their education and the Ministry’s feelings they need to fill some sort of quota. He knew there were still people like his parents, he had grown up in a world of crude talk and gossip, but they talked about Sirius too, and he wasn’t a muggleborn. He was one of the sacred, facing these obstacles all the same. Families like the one he was born into assumed they were better than others because they were old and wealthy but that didn’t mean they just made the laws. It had always just been gossip from people born in a different time, or young people spouting out what their parents have always told them, who haven’t learned to think for themselves as early as Sirius had. It simply didn’t make sense, feeling as if in a matter of months things went from brushing off a comment from a few unsavory characters to brutal attacks. To fighting and war.

The most obvious is the fact that Sirius is a Black. Blown off the family tree or not he grew up in a life of luxury; house elves doing all of his chores and having never gone wanting for anything materialistic. He was safe from any of the harassment or now life endangerment being faced by others and would never have had to worry if it weren’t for his involvement in the Order. Sirius grew up with a silver spoon. Growing up in a house where muggleborns being lesser than himself, he has developed a mentality that they are likely lesser than him aside from the rare exception. Of course they should be just as welcomed and treated with the same respect as purebloods but they hadn’t grown up in the way Sirius had. Muggleborns don’t understand their world the way he does.

Additionally, if anyone else had endangered two students lives the way Sirius had by sending Snape to the Willow, they would have been lucky to only be expelled. But Sirius was a Black. He was a Black with good grades and a future and who knows where he would be if he was sent out of Hogwarts and off to a new school so he got away with a slap on the wrist.

He wants to come across progressive, but there are some biases he has never even thought to question. Sirius doesn’t want to believe Remus is the spy. He’s his brother in all ways that matter and Sirius really does not want to believe Remus could sell them out because he’s a werewolf. There is no thought of werewolves are people and some are good and some are bad. Instead he’s facing thoughts of please do not let another person he considers family turn to dark because he will always love Remus but his betrayal would prove that werewolves are inherently bad.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

This roleplay drips with the aesthetic of a community that has been widely dropped off. Para centered rp has been hard to find recently in favor of gifs and face claims that fit our favorite television characters. While I love seeing a ship from other fandoms converted into the Potter universe, a place where writing and world building are the prime focus is simply tempting. So much seems to have gone into every aspect of this role play it has brought out my muse in ways that a rp hasn’t in a long time.

ANYTHING ELSE? https://amockblogashlie.tumblr.com/

#homenumaccepted #marauders era roleplay #marauders rp #harry potter rp #hp rp

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hannahindie · 7 years

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Guardian Angel - Part 1

Summary: Castiel has been hands off regarding humans, fighting with the garrison and spending his time off on his own. This simple existence is shattered when a small voice suddenly interrupts what he knows. Characters: Castiel, Reader, Pastor Jim (brief), Gabriel (brief) Word Count: 3,207 Warnings: Minor angst, fluff, and slight canon divergence with Gabriel (mostly because he is there and not wandering around being a trickster) A/N: This is the first part of the BTZ Buddy Challenge! My partner was @just-another-busy-fangirl, and she will be posting part 2 tomorrow! She (as well as @pinknerdpanda, thank you sweets <3) beta’d it, and I made the aesthetic. It was a lot of fun to write, and to work with Laura, and I hope ya’ll enjoy it.

As always, tags are at the bottom, and if you’d like to be added, please let me know.

Can anyone even hear me?

Cas looks up from the bee he has been following for the past three hours and narrows his eyes. No one is around, but he is sure he heard someone.

I doubt it. Pastor Jim says I should pray, that Mom and Dad will hear me and know I'm okay. I wanted to tell him that's bullshit, that's what my dad would have said, but my mom wouldn't like me cussin’ at a preacher...even if it is just Pastor Jim.

He glances around, but sees nothing. The voice is small, full of sadness and confusion, and sounds far away. He stands up and brushes the grass from his legs then starts walking in the direction he thinks the voice is coming from.

I don’t believe in God, not now anyway. I’m only doing this because Pastor Jim wants me to, and he’s nice enough to keep me until we can figure out something else. Between you and me, I’d rather stay here or at Bobby’s. I’ve seen those kids that move from house to house, all their stuff crammed into a black garbage bag. I don’t wanna be that kid. I might be an orphan, and I don’t really have much stuff, but I don’t wanna be the kid with the garbage bag life. The other kids look at ‘em weird, and it’s not even their fault, but I guess when you don’t understand why someone doesn’t have parents, it doesn’t matter if it’s their fault or not. I just...this is stupid.

The voice falls silent and Cas stops walking and closes his eyes, focusing on that small voice and the nervous energy that comes with it. His grace reaches out, tracing the tenuous grasp he has on this dim soul and suddenly he sees a house attached to a rundown church. Most of the lights are off, but there’s a small glimmer in the upstairs window, and he focuses on that. A small girl, probably no older than ten, is knelt at the edge of her bed, her head down and hands crossed in front of her.

I don’t even know why I’m trying. I guess I don’t want to lie to Pastor Jim about praying… I think that’s probably worse than not meaning it when I do. I know that no one is there...I’m used to it, though.

“What are you doing, little brother?” Cas’ eyes fly open to see Gabriel standing in front of him, his arms crossed and head tilted as he stares at Cas.

“I heard a voice and she sounded very sad. I wanted to see if I could do anything to help.”

Gabriel clucks his tongue, “Castiel, you’re a soldier, not a nanny. You fight, that’s all.” Gabriel raises an eyebrow, “Why could you hear her, anyway? You’re not a guardian, how did you…” he trails off, and after a moment of staring at Cas silently, turns around and walks away.

“What? Why is this a problem?”

Gabriel waves him off and keeps walking, “Nothing, never mind. Good luck with your pointless little project.”

Cas stops and watches Gabriel disappear into the distance, then sits down again and closes his eyes.

He isn't sure how long he has been waiting for that small voice to appear again. He's patient, and time isn't all that important to him, so he remains silent and still.

Hi. It's me again.

There it is...that tiny voice filled with such sadness for someone so young. He waits for her to speak again, and wonders if his plan to visit her in person is warranted.

I told Pastor Jim that I didn't believe today. He didn't yell, like I expected, he just...stared at me. He looked sad. He told me that it's my decision on what I believe in or don't believe in, but that I should keep my mind open. I guess that's a pretty cool thing for a pastor to say. Anyway, I thought I'd try this praying thing again. My name is Y/N.

Cas contemplates answering her. Will it scare her? Make her think she's losing her mind? Gabriel is right, he's not a guardian. He is an Angel of the Lord, but he doesn't serve man. No, he protects them from a distance, a fierce warrior, and nothing more. Until now, anyway. He has never felt so compelled to intervene until this moment. He can feel her impatience, so against his better judgement, he responds.

Hello.

He feels her sharp intake of breath, her impatience turn into surprise, and waits for her response.

Did someone actually answer me? Who are you?

Yes. My name is Castiel.

Castiel...what kind of name is that?

He remains silent, unsure of how to respond. She isn’t scared, he can feel the curiosity pouring from her as he reaches out with his grace. She seems...fine. He risks telling her the truth.

I am an Angel of the Lord. I heard your prayer.

Holy shit. Oh...sorry. I guess angels probably don’t cuss, do they?

We do not make a habit of it, no.

Hmm. How do I know you’re an...angel? That sounds pretty sketch. How do I know you aren’t some kind of perv?

Perv? Do you mean some kind of predator? I can assure you that I am not. It is my job to protect humanity. I am a soldier.

That’s something a perv would say. A crazy perv.

I could perhaps show you.

That is definitely something a perv would say.

She falls silent and he begins to think maybe he has made a mistake.

What do you mean show me?

And then, Castiel does a very un-Castiel like thing. Without even thinking, he is in the girl’s room. She turns around with a gasp and immediately grabs a baseball bat from where she has stashed it under the bed and hits him with it. He stares at her, totally unfazed, as she keeps a grip on the bat and looks at him with wide eyes.

“Who are you?!”

He is surprised to see that her hands aren't even shaking; she is startled, yes, but the girl isn't afraid. He wonders what else she has seen to warrant this kind of reaction.

“I am Castiel.”

Another moment passes before she drops the bat, and leans it against the dresser next to her, “You're an...an angel?”

“Yes, I am.”

“You don't look like an angel.”

Cas narrows his eyes, “What do you mean?”

She shrugs, “I dunno...chubby, with wings and a diaper. Maybe a bow and arrow.”

“You are thinking of a cherub. I am not a cherub. I am a warrior.”

She crosses her arms and narrows her eyes back at him, “You don't look like a warrior. Where are your wings?”

Cas focuses, careful not to let his entire form show, and allows his wings to unfold into shadows on the wall. She gasps and though he should not, he feels a sense of pride. His wings are the largest and most fearsome in the garrison, pitch black and full, and he knows they often strike fear into his opponents.

But not Y/N. She stands there, eyes wide and mouth gaping open, but it isn't fear...she seems to be in awe.

“Whoa...so you are an angel.” She sits on the edge of her bed and tilts her head, “But why are you here? If you're a warrior...I mean, I'm just a kid. No war here.”

Cas isn't sure how to answer. Why is he here? “You sounded sad.” Is that an odd reason? He isn't sure.

“I always sound sad, but thanks for noticing, I guess.” She leans back on her hands and sighs, “Pastor Jim tries. But he's not my dad. I miss my parents.”

Cas nods, “I believe I can understand how you are feeling.”

She laughs, and Cas likens it to bells ringing. “You're an angel, how can you understand that?”

Cas frowns, “I have a father, as well-”

“Y/N! Lights out!” A voice that he assumes belongs to Pastor Jim echoes up the stairs, quickly followed by heavy steps on the old wood.

“You gotta go! Pastor Jim...well, he might be a preacher, but he's a hunter too. He’ll end you!” She goes to push him towards the window, but he disappears as quickly as he appeared, and she wonders if she’ll ever see him again.

And so it goes. Y/N prays, and Cas appears. Usually, it's during her nighttime prayers, before Pastor Jim comes up to say goodnight, but sometimes she's on a playground, on a swing set in the very back. He often wonders why she's always alone, but he's afraid asking that might be in bad taste.

“Thanks for showing up again,” she says quietly as she watches the toes of her sneakers drag little ditches in the dirt beneath her swing.

“Of course.” Cas sits in the swing next to hers, and they sway back and forth in silence. Something is different about today; Y/N is quiet and reserved, her eyes downcast. “Is something wrong?”

“It's my birthday.” She kicks the ground and a little puff of dirt explodes up, the particles catching the light in such a way that Cas is distracted for a moment as he watches the tiny grains reflect millions of tiny rainbows, the shadows dancing underneath before finally hitting the ground and scattering.

“I thought that humans held birthdays in high regard, especially children.”

She looks up at him, and he's surprised by how sad she looks, “Most kids’ parents don't die on their kid’s birthday.”

Cas drops his gaze, “I...I did not know. I am sorry.”

“It’s fine. I always expected it...they were hunters, like Pastor Jim, I just didn’t think a car would take them out.” She begins to twist back and forth and the clink of the chains hitting each other is loud in the silence. “I thought they would die heroes. Instead, they’re just the people who were killed by a drunk driver, and I’m just the weird little girl they left behind.”

“I do not believe that you are...weird. I do believe that you have seen more of this world that others your age cannot even begin to imagine. I believe that you are strong. And I believe the world is a better place with you in it.” Cas pushes himself back and forth lightly, focusing on the pressure rolling from his toes to his heels, then back. “You have not been left behind. Your parents may be gone, but it seems Pastor Jim cares for you. And, for what it is worth, I will always be here. I will not leave you.”

Cas isn’t sure why he let that promise escape, but it feels right. Y/N is strong and can take care of herself, but he can’t bear the thought of not coming when she prays, not protecting her when the time comes. Though she is young, he can tell that she is important, and that she has a job to do. He doesn’t know what it is, or if he can even help...but he now realizes what it feels like to be a guardian, and there’s an overwhelming feeling of responsibility.

“Thanks, Cas.” A bell rings in the distance and Y/N jumps off her swing and starts to walk away, then turns back to face him, “You promise you’ll always come?”

He nods, “I promise.” She gives him a small smile, then turns and walks away. Cas sighs, and in an instant, is back in Heaven. Before he can move, a booming voice sounds out behind him.

“Little brother!”

Cas turns to see Gabriel strolling quickly towards him, “What?”

“Where have you been?” He looks frazzled, and Cas is at a loss for words for a moment. “Please tell me you were just off, following the bees or whatever it is that you do, and not on Earth.”

“Why?”

Gabriel clenches his fists at his sides, his golden eyes bright with barely contained fury, “You do not belong there, Castiel. You belong here, in the garrison, which is where you need to go right now. War is coming, brother, and they are waiting on you to lead it. Now is not the time to pretend to be someone’s guardian angel, or their best friend, or whatever it is that you’re doing. You put on your armor, you grab your sword, and you lead your brothers and sisters into battle. Do your job.” He storms off, leaving Castiel alone. A buzzing sound catches his ear and he looks over his shoulder to see a bee flying around him. He holds his hand out and the small creature lands on his finger. He stares at it for a moment, then casts a long look in the direction Y/N is in, probably sitting at a school desk by now, and sighs. He gives his hand a light shake and the bee flies away, and he begins walking toward the garrison. It is time for war.

Cas stands outside of Pastor Jim’s house and stares up at the dim light shining from the upstairs window. It's a beacon, a welcome home that he didn't even realize he has been missing until now. For the first time, he appears without her calling for him, and he wonders if that's okay. Sure she isn't going to mind, he suddenly appears in her room.

Instead of the ten year old girl he left on the swings before he went to war, he sees a teenager, who yells in surprise when she sees him.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Pastor Jim’s voice echoes up the stairs but she remains silent as she stares at Cas in shock. “Y/N?”

She finally shakes herself out of it and responds, “I'm fine! I...just...saw a spider, that's all.”

“A spider made you yell like that?” There's laughter and the sound of dishes clattering together, “Since when do you scream at spiders?”

“It was really big, just startled me, I'm fine!” She quickly walks to the door and shuts it quietly, then turns and glares at Cas. “What are you doing here?” she hisses.

He's taken aback by her appearance and her attitude, “I came to see you, but it seems something is off.”

She rolls her eyes, “You don't say?” She sits heavily on the edge of the bed, “What gave it away?”

“I...I only just left-”

“Only just left? You've been gone for five years, Cas! You know the last time I saw you? My eleventh birthday!” She looks up at the ceiling and he can see that she is trying not to cry. She clears her throat, then locks eyes with him again, “Do you know how many times I prayed to you? How many nights I stayed up waiting for you to come back? How many days…” her voice trailed off and a tear rolls down her cheek, “how many days I sat on that swing, alone, and begged for you to save me?”

“I am so very, very sorry, Y/N...there were things-”

“Things?!” She interrupts him, temporarily forgetting that Pastor Jim can probably hear her. “You promised me. You said you would always come, always. It's been years. Years of being alone and made fun of...you promised. And then...you were just gone. Just like my parents.”

“Y/N…”

She shakes her head, then lays back on her bed and turns away from him, “I don't want you here. I've gotten used to it by now, anyway. Just...leave, Cas. Leave me alone.”

He waits for a moment, but the silence is too much even for him. He goes back to Heaven, his heart heavy.

“I told you, brother. You aren't a guardian.”

Cas closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, “I do not want your opinion, Gabriel.”

“No, maybe not. But you need it. Your compassion is why you're my favorite, but it'll only hurt you in the end. Let it go. Protect the humans the way you know how, huh?”

Cas sighs, then walks away without answering. Gabriel is right; war is what he knows, not humanity. It is time to remember that.

Cas sweeps the scuffed linoleum, absentmindedly staring through the dirty plate glass window and out into the parking lot, making a mental note to clean it once he is done sweeping.

Being human has come with its problems, and he is still trying to get the hang of it, but working at the gas station is helping. At least it gives him something to do.

He grabs the dustpan and begins sweeping the small pile of dirt into the plastic receptacle. He is interrupted by a sharp pain that shoots through his skull and behind his eyes, then settles in at the base of his neck. He drops the broom and it hits the ground with a sharp crack, and he grabs his head tightly, his fingers digging into his temples.

“Steve, are you okay?” Nora quickly rounds the counter and stops at Cas’ side, her hand resting gently on his elbow.

“I...yes, this will-auuuughh!” He doubles over, and gasps as a vision of Y/N appears behind his closed eyelids. She's older, a pink, puckered scar crosses her cheekbone where smooth skin and freckles once were, and she's holding an angel blade. Where did she get an angel blade? His thought is interrupted as the unidentified monster rushes her. He falls to his knees, helpless as he watches her get thrown through the air and land in an unconscious heap. The vision flashes and suddenly he’s watching the doors to an emergency room fly open, the body on the gurney bloody and still. “No!” He jerks his head up and is met by Nora’s concerned gaze as she kneels next to him.

“Steve, what is going on? Do you need me to call an ambulance?”

He shakes his head, his breath coming in hitching gasps as he tries to comprehend what he had just seen.

“Would water help? Let me get you some water.” Nora walks over to the cooler, grabs a bottle of water, and kneels next to him again, “What's wrong?”

“I am...unsure. I have never experienced anything like that before.” He stands up slowly, his hand on the counter to steady him, and takes a deep breath. “I believe I am okay now.” He smooths his vest, his hands shaking nervously as he tries to decide what he should do. “Would it be terribly inconvenient if I left early today? I think I may need to get some rest.”

Nora smiles, though it doesn't reach her eyes; she knows something is going on with the handsome, strange man, but she only nods, “Sure, that's fine. Just, umm...take care of yourself?”

He nods, picks the broom up and leans it against the counter, then walks out the door.

Grandview General Hospital.

The name flashes through his mind yet again, and he knows what he needs to do. She can't be alone, not again.

Like what you see? Would you like to see more? My Masterlist is here!

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#btz challenge #buddy challenge #supernatural fanfiction #Castiel #reader insert #flangst #kinda

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greenmagic-oilspill · 7 years

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Fragments, Pt. 3

The Sandsea…

Granny and Azionne knelt on the floor across from each other, their eyes screwed shut in concentration. In the basement, upon the open sparring mat, the two women meditated. Azionne gathered her aether and channeled it to Granny, who felt their aether churning around her, intertwining and giving her power.

Their Echo allowed Granny to do this.

"Edge and Yue are far out of our reach, no matter what we do," said Granny. She placed her palms down on the tatami mat, picturing her Cluster mates in her mind's eye. "The other four, however… it is time for them to come home."

Gyr Abania, the Peaks…

Often, Siz'ir found himself wandering. At night, especially, when he knew his comrades must be sleeping, he found his mind journeying to them, guiding the rest of the Cluster through their sleep. Weaving them into each other's memories. He had no control over it - Azionne would cross his mind, and then Edge, and he would be viewing Edge's dreams through Azionne's eyes. Sometimes, Gogo would experience Azionne's nightmares - he felt bad for the young Lalafell the most, as Azionne's sleep was the most fitful.

Curiously, Yue did not seem to dream much, so none of the Cluster dived into her memories often. Siz'ir was not sure why, but when she did dream it was always from after she joined the Riskbreakers.

He felt a little bad, sometimes. His Cluster's worst memories and private moments, their dreams, became shared nearly every night. He didn't think they could see Siz'ir's own dreams, however, which was fine with him.

He sat cross-legged on the ruined Temple of the Fist's stone floor, one of many abandoned temples strewn about the Peaks. He drank an awful concoction from a bowl that tasted vaguely of onions and something sweet, perhaps a fruit, that his teacher insisted would energize him. His living situation was sparse, and the temple had not become any more comfortable since he and his teacher moved in temporarily, but something about it had become comforting to him. A carving of the Destroyer watched them always, and after a few days of explaining the Eorzean Twelve to his teacher, Siz'ir found that he liked it. He was never a spiritual man by any means, but something about the Destroyer's eyes felt safe… perhaps coupled with Menphina gazing at him through the hole in the roof every night. He was a Keeper, after all, even if he was never welcome to a tribe.

His teacher, Tatsumiya, said that his dreams were the result of his third eye awakening. Siz'ir argued back that it was the Echo, and that he was not becoming Garlean or anything. But the old crone shook her head, called him an idiot, and claimed it was an ability of the Samurai. That was when she finally consented to training him.

The blade she had given him, a katana, felt awkward in his hands at first. For a long time, he swung it with reckless abandon, but Tatsumiya's strict instruction and frequent beatings by her own wooden katana eventually made the blade feel like an extension of his own arm.

He had a long way to go.

Siz'ir forced the last of his drink down his throat, and was just about to stand when Granny's aetherial form materialized in front of him.

"Siz'ir… the Riskbreakers are in trouble. The Reach is fallen. Come home."

Kugane…

As Yue walked through the city with her companions, she felt herself being awestruck by just about everything. Its colors - bright crimson towers, golden lanterns, robes and kimonos of lavender and pink and yellow. Its smells - the salt of the sea, the rice wine in the hot springs, foods cooking in street stalls as they passed. Its people - sailors and merchants from all the world over, Roegadyn and Hyur and even Au Ra like her, all different styles of clothes and adventurers. It seemed that in the past thousand years, Hingashi had changed more than she could ever believe. And yet…

And yet…

So much of it seemed familiar to her, though she didn’t voice that to Sima or Helisent. The hard-faced woman at the Shiokaze Hostelry, with the silky hair and the eyepatch, seemed like someone she met in a dream. She and Yue had even caught each other's eyes as they passed, and Yue noticed a brief flicker of recognition that passed just as quickly. But how could they have met before, when Yue had not been here in a thousand years?

Yue even found herself suggesting that she and her companions go see the theatre, but how had she even known Kugane had one? Kugane did not even exist yet when she roamed these lands.

Lady Azionne had bid her to travel to Doma, to see how much the land had changed.

But Yue feared that she'd find it didn't change at all.

Outside Little Ala Mhigo…

The trio of Red Mages sat inside their crimson tent, sharing food and drink and stories with each other. Baithin learned a lot about Lunelle and their teacher, Aldrich, and their travels together before they came across him and he took the red with them. Aldrich was a jovial man, one who left the group known as the Crimson Duelists before they were massacred during the Mad King Theodoric's reign. As such, he was spared, though Baithin sensed a hint of melancholy and guilt underneath his eccentricities.

Lunelle was an Ishgardian woman, and though Baithin assumed she was from a noble house due to the way she carried herself and her dress, it turned out she was lowborn. Before coming across Aldrich on his journey to Ishgard, Lunelle was a devout priestess of Halone and a talented arcanist besides, charged by the Church to devote her life and her skill to the war with the Dravanians. Upon meeting Aldrich, who showed her what a life of adventure could be like, she exchanged her alb for a crimson chapeau and joined him, scarcely looking back at her old life.

"So I tell Edge, 'Listen, you accidentally stole an Ul'dahn nobleman's laxatives instead of his Fantasia, so you don't get to yell at me for stealing top-secret Garlean intelligence!' That shut him up real good," said Baithin, chuckling. Aldrich roared with laughter.

"Oh, my!" said Lunelle, giggling behind her hand. She brushed her chin-length brown hair behind her ear. "What a story! It is quite crude, though..."

Baithin nearly jumped to his feet when Granny suddenly materialized in front of him, and the look on her face immediately made him worry. "Baithin, come home. Vegnagun was fake. The Reach has fallen."

She vanished, and Baithin stood. Lunelle and Aldrich looked up at him, startled. "Vegnagun was fake…?" Baithin said aloud. No, it couldn't be… that was the intelligence he had discovered, he was the first Riskbreaker to have heard of the Garlean superweapon in development. He hadn't even known that Ashe went to pursue it, or sent members of their company - he had been in the deserts of Thanalan for far too long. Guilt gripped his chest. If Vegnagun wasn't real, what did that mean for the Riskbreakers? "I have to go home," he said to his companions. He immediately went to gather his things. "This isn't one of those situations where if I leave I can never complete my training, is it?"

Aldrich blinked. "No, son, of course not. Do what you need to."

"But you'll come back to us?" Lunelle asked, her heterochromatic eyes hopeful. She stood with him. She was short for an Elezen, but he was tall for a Midlander, so he had a few ilms on her. "Perhaps I could come with you!"

Baithin shook his head. "No… this is something I have to do alone. I think I've made a huge mistake."

The Azim Steppe, Reunion…

Edge sat in deep meditation, the events of the past few days churning in his mind.

Their party had decided to take refuge in the homeland of the Xaela tribes, and Sylvan Rain had managed to find them, bringing two strangers with her that joined their strength to the Riskbreakers' cause. Their initial traveling party now reunited, Sylvan brought news with her - that their mission in Doma was a lie, that there was no Vegnagun, and it was all a Garlean ploy to fracture the Riskbreakers' strength. They had immediately feared a retaliation on the Gyr Abanian front, so Edge was in a panic, worried for Ashe's safety.

It was Arae'sae Evlo who came to his aid then, casting a spell that connected Edge to Ashe through the aetherial sea. He didn't know exactly how it worked, but it allowed him to send a short message to his wife. They were safe… at least for now. And because they were able to find Ashe in the aether, Edge knew she was, too.

He trusted in her strength. He knew he would have to - especially since the Riskbreaker party decided to stay in the Far East to aid the Doman Liberation Front. In that sense, their mission had not changed. Luckily, in Reunion, they had come across Aisling Lee, another ally, and she would guide them to searching for Lord Hien, heir apparent to the Doman throne. That was how they would aid the Liberation Front, by bringing their leader back from the Azim Steppe.

Until then, they would bide their time. Arae'sae was working on long-distance communication with everyone back home, using magically-encrypted linkpearls… whatever that meant. He hoped he would be able to connect to Gogo, at least, all the way up in Azys Lla…

Azys Lla, Gamma Quadrant…

Lini and Gogo stood together against their foes, with Pikna Popp the moogle behind them trying her best to offer support. The Elezen, a man with an enormous greatsword, continued to harry Lini as much as he could. His swings were slow, but heavy, and Lini's only advantage was her smaller size and speed. That would only do her so good… just one misstep and he could kill her. On top of that, his dark magic caused her no end of struggle.

The Xaela Warrior was a timid fighter, clearly holding back. Lini had almost forgotten his presence multiple times while faced with Geoffroix's onslaught, until he came out of nowhere with a halfhearted swing. Lini cursed to herself and just barely managed to dodge, deciding once and for all to remove him from the fight for being little more than a nuisance. She had to help Gogo fight Invidia, who was doing all he could to match her spearcannon with his gunplay and machinery.

Lini slashed the Xaelan man across the chest, letting out a spray of crimson blood that stained the rocky ground. The Warrior stumbled backward, hand drawn to his chest more out of shock than fear.

"Dagasi!" Invidia shouted. Lini was startled by the pitch of her voice, which showed shock, concern, and… a little fear? The Garlean woman glared at Lini. "What have you done?"

Lini was about to answer, but she barely had time to raise her shield and block a savage axe cleave, the strength of it sending her flying back several fulms where she fell to the ground, her shield arm numb. "By the Twelve, that strength!" she exclaimed.

She barely had time to react when Dagasi was on her again, all timidity gone - he was the picture of ferocity, his eyes afire with rage. He snarled, hefting his axe for a killing blow that Lini just barely rolled out of the way to avoid. His attack decimated the ground beneath her, sending up a spray of rocks and dirt.

Granny appeared, then, materializing in between Lini and Dagasi, throwing her arms up instinctively to defend herself when the Xaela launched himself through her to attack Lini. "Oh, my!" Granny exclaimed. "Linini, what is happening? Is that… Invidia?! You've found her?"

"Not now!" Lini shouted, diving away from another blow. She glanced up at the airship full of adventurers and Ironworks engineers, ready to leave this disastrous expedition to the Gamma Quadrant behind. She and Gogo needed to leave now.

She heard Gogo's panicked yelp and saw him trapped in some sort of electric vice, metal clamps tight around his arms and legs and holding him immobilized on the ground. Lini cursed again, and in the chaos of the moment she didn't notice Granny vanishing, nor did she see Geoffroix resuming his attack until he was on her again.

She weakly parried his blow, but Dagasi snarled and was on her again. This time, Geoffroix was in his way, and the Warrior went on a rampage that didn't differentiate between friend or foe. She used the opportunity to run away from Geoffroix and Dagasi, now locked in combat with each other, and went to Gogo's aid.

"Lini, don't worry about me!" the boy shouted at her from the ground. "I'll be okay! You need to get on that airship!"

She clenched her fist. "I refuse to leave you behind!"

"I'm not scared!" he said, and somehow, Lini believed it.

Pikna Popp fluttered in the air around Lini. "C'mon, kupo! We don't have much time!"

"But Gogo… he's just a child!" Lini argued. "I was supposed to keep him safe here!"

Invidia knelt at Gogo's side, giving Lini a smirk that said she was the victor here. Lini grit her teeth, not knowing what else she could do. In front of her, Gogo was trapped, and more Garlean soldiers were arriving to the fray. To her left, Geoffroix was slowly but surely subduing Dagasi, and he would be coming for her next. Behind her, the airship to safety was readying to leave her behind.

For the second time in her life, Lini fled.

Granny opened her eyes, and judging by the look on her face Azionne knew she didn’t see anything good. “What is it?”

“Lini and Gogo are fighting Invidia as we speak,” she said. “It... does not look good.”

And then the old woman collapsed.

#The Cluster #The Shards #The Ties That Bind Us #An Easterly View #the Riskbreakers

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forkanna · 7 years

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Elsa rolled over and groaned the next morning, later than she should have awoken. Not only because it had been so hard to get back to sleep after getting back to the campgrounds, but even once they were in bed, she couldn't drift off. She felt too guilty. She knew she shouldn't, not with the way Aurora had tried to screw them over, but it still felt wrong to stoop to their level. Not that she blamed Anna. It was either that, or keep letting them run their lives that way; there wasn't really any choice when the choices were "bad" or "much worse". Her sister had only done what was strictly necessary to prevent any further nastiness.

Sliding into Anna's bed, she traced a hand over her forehead and whispered, "Good morning, Moondrop."

Anna let out a groan and opened red-rimmed eyes, blinking up at Elsa. "Morning already?" She protested, "Do we have to get up?"

"Not yet, if you don't want to," she breathed softly, just before leaving a small kiss on her cheek. "Do you want to spend a little while in bed with me?"

The redhead's cheeks turned a cute shade of pink as she nodded and opened her arms, smiling at her. "Yes, please." So Elsa slid forward and wrapped her arms tightly around her, nuzzling into her neck. Anna snuggled back, letting out a soft sigh of contentment and pressing her lips against Elsa's soft hair.

"So… last night." They might as well talk about it. Neither of them had felt much like discussing it by the time they got back, and Elsa wasn't inclined to push matters. But she also wasn't inclined to let things lie forever.

Anna's grip on Elsa tightened and her voice had an edge to it when she murmured, "Can we… not think about that right now?"

"No, I think we should get it out of the way. Then we can just… enjoy the rest of today." Rubbing Anna's back, she whispered, "I'm proud of you for the way you handled them. It was… a little scary, sure, but you really took control of the situation."

"B-But I feel so terrible about it," Anna confessed, gritting her teeth. "I threatened them… I'm no better than them for it..."

Frowning, Elsa tried to think of a way she could put this that would make Anna feel less awful. Maybe it wasn't possible, but she had to try. "Of course you are. You didn't start this; they made it impossible for us to keep living like that. You saw how smug and entitled they were, ordering us around." Then she added in an undertone, "Or at least, Aurora was. But they were all going along with her."

The redhead buried her face into Elsa's hair. "You heard Belle, too, right? How they wanted to 'teach us a lesson'... they thought they were doing us a favour…"

"Probably did. That they wanted to show us the error of our godless ways." Though at saying that, Elsa felt a fresh wave of guilt. She still couldn't shake the idea that God might really disapprove of their love — if not because they were both women, then because they were related. Knowing they were both mature adults who could choose who they wanted to love didn't settle any of her fears about what the Bible would say about them.

"If I had just been careful and less pushy, they wouldn't have been able to do this to us in the first place." Anna bit her lip and started to run her hands through Elsa's sleep-mussed hair.

"Mmm," she sighed pleasantly. Then she opened her eyes again to look into her sister's. "We both should have been more careful. Not just you. But… well, I don't think it's very Christian to blackmail anyone; Aurora should be ashamed of herself! We were merely settling the score. Besides, we both know you were never going to show anyone those pictures, right?"

"I planned on deleting them the second we leave camp." Anna glanced over at her phone. "As long as Aurora and the others don't tattle on us, then yeah. I have no plans on showing anyone."

Nodding as if she had expected that answer all along, Elsa pressed a kiss to her temple. "Of course. Especially those of Snow." She shivered to think of what the girl must have gone through. "Poor decisions… they all made a lot of poor decisions."

"I feel the worst about Snow," she confessed with a nod of agreement. As if they were sharing thoughts. "I- I really wish I could take it back just to erase the way she looked at me."

"Why? You didn't make her go to a party she's clearly too young to attend and make her accept offers she… is also clearly too young to accept. If anything…" Elsa hesitated, but she knew she was right, even if it also had the side effect of justifying their actions. "This might teach her the kind of lesson Aurora thought she was teaching us. That she's not ready to be that 'wild', and that it has consequences."

"I keep forgetting she's only seventeen." Anna flinched. "I literally blackmailed a minor!"

"She shouldn't be doing that, anyway!" Elsa whispered, as if it were a secret. Truly, in her mind, Snow was better off waiting another year — or longer, until she was married, or at least in a more serious relationship than hooking up with a random guy she would never see again.

"Do you think she actually consented to it? Or was she too drunk to say no?" Anna asked, looking even more horrified.

"Honestly? I'd rather not know. It's none of our business. But Snow had three other friends who were actually there and did nothing to help her; I… feel sorry for her, but I don't feel any personal guilt. God will deal with her and with her friends, and with whoever she hooked up with."

"I'm sorry," Anna murmured, "I- I really shouldn't feel as bad about this as I do."

Wrapping her arms tightly around Anna's body, she simply held her there for a moment. Then she whispered, "We'll get over it. And so will they, probably."

Anna hugged her back, snuggling into her sister's side and letting out a hum. "Okay." She nuzzled Elsa's ear, then spoke up to lighten the mood, "What shall we do for our day off?"

"Anything you want. Definitely get away from the campgrounds, but… we could take a hike, have a picnic. Just go see a movie. You name it." She meant every word; her only desire was to turn Anna's frown upside-down.

"There was a cute coffee shop in town that I spotted when we were shopping last weekend," Anna suggested. "I was going to point it out but we were both pretty deadset on getting ice cream instead, so I didn't bother."

That got Elsa humming as she sat up, petting up and down Anna's thigh and hip. "Well… yes, I think that might sound nice. We could take books and just sip coffee and chat for a while. Then if we think of something else to do, we can always leave."

Gloomy expression melting like ice in the sun, Anna smiled and said, "I would really like that! I saw a bookshop close by, too, if you want to take a look."

"Perfect!" Elsa said immediately, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Shall we get ready and hit the bookshop first? Find reading material for the café?"

"Yeah!" Anna returned the kiss, only hers landed on right on the curve of Elsa's lips. Than she gently pulled herself out of Elsa's embrace so they could start getting ready.

~ o ~

The rest of the morning slipped by into afternoon with as much pleasantness as they could expect. Sitting around and people-watching in the coffee shop was both relaxing and enjoyable. Elsa made her way through one chapter of her book, but that was as far as she could get with Anna to chat with — and cuddle with, when they were feeling a bit braver. Curled up together on the loveseat in the corner, it was easy to do without a lot of guilt.

Besides, as long as they didn't let themselves start making out, it didn't look that much out of the ordinary. Also, no one else from camp wandered in at any point, so there was no reason to care about being seen.

Once it got closer to dinnertime, they found a little Italian place and ate, talking of small things and discussing college plans and camp. Now and then, they would swap food, trying to out-seduce the other one with the way they would lick the other's fork clean. This came to a head when Anna accidentally stabbed her tongue while doing so, and Elsa had to fight to keep from bursting out laughing and interrupting everyone else's meal.

On their way back, they held hands the entire while. The longer they enjoyed each other after having confronted the true nature of their feelings, the more bold Elsa felt. She was in love with Anna, and though it still worried her what other people would think about them being together, she had decided at last that she couldn't truly feel guilty about it when her love was so real, and pure, and enduring. She would die a hundred deaths rather than be denied the precious sister that had been gone from her life for so long.

"Guess we have to stop now," she sighed when the campgrounds came into view, regretfully pulling her fingers away from Anna's. A look of disappointment crossed the redhead's face but it was brief and soon Anna was smiling brightly again.

"I had a really good time. Thank you so much, Snowflake." Before they exited the car, Anna took Elsa's hand back and lay a kiss on the knuckle. She shivered, closing her eyes and sighing at the contact of the sweet lips she had come to cherish so much.

"You… really have to stop," she wound up laughing breathlessly. The redhead simply beamed up at her, leaning forward to kiss her cheek instead.

"But I love kissing you," she cooed, giving the spot she kissed a small nuzzle. Which made Elsa smile even more bashfully. She simply couldn't seem to resist Anna no matter how hard she tried. Anna finally finished spoiling Elsa with affection, pulling away reluctantly before climbing out of the car and taking in a deep breath.

"I know," the elder sister sighed. "But we'll be okay. I've got my sister, my best friend, and my… m-my girlfriend by my side."

Her heart seized at using that last word. It was true, wasn't it? They really were that to each other, even if it was a new term to use. Anna looked at her, briefly surprised, before a brilliant smile lit up her face. It was so wide that she had to close her eyes to make room for it. She looked so happy.

"Yeah! I'll always by your side, just like you'll always be by mine!" she chirped. She reached out to grab Elsa's hand without a care of who saw them. "I have the best girlfriend in the world in my life. I can take on everything that life throws at me!"

Feeling her heart pound in her throat, Elsa squeezed the hand back as they strolled away from the parking lot. Though when they started to get closer to the grounds, she released her hand; there was being brave, and then there was inviting trouble.

"Oh, great," she sighed as they approached the cabins. "Look who's waiting for us."

Aurora and Belle were leaning against the side of Anna and Elsa's cabin. Aurora in particular zeroed in on the two once they breached the treeline, before slumping against the wall once again upon noticing the fair bit of distance Anna and Elsa had hastily put between one another. As they drew close enough to be within speaking distance, the blonde cleared her throat.

"Took you two long enough to get back." There was no true bite to her words.

"We were enjoying an off-day," Elsa told her, and there was a bit more acidity to hers. "We really needed it, after the day we had yesterday. Looking after all your campers, driving into town in the dead of night to pick up drunk girls from a party we weren't interested in…"

With a sigh, Belle hissed, "Alright, alright, we get it. You're pissed."

Anna squared her shoulders. "Of course we're pissed. If the only reason you two came here was to antagonise or threaten us, then you can save it and move on!"

Aurora glared between the two of them for a second before the fight left her. "That's not why we're here," she ground out reluctantly. "We need to talk. Privately."

"Why should we want to give you that privilege?" Elsa snapped. "Do you have any idea how you've made us feel these past few days?"

"Can we not talk about this out in the open where others can hear us, please?!" Aurora looked around nervously as though Father Frollo would walk out of the trees. "At least let's take this to me and Belle's cabin if we must."

When neither of the sisters responded right away, Belle added, "Please? We promise, we're not trying to… retaliate, or anything. Just talk."

Anna looked hesitant before she let out a heavy breath through her nose. "Elsa and I are going inside to drop our stuff inside the cabin," she finally said after a few tense seconds. "We'll talk about it. In five minutes, we'll let you know what we decide to do. And you will respect our choice. Whether we want to talk to you or not. Understand?"

Aurora looked like she wanted to protest but she nodded. "Five minutes," she agreed before leaning against the wall again.

"Alright," Elsa told them curtly. Not heatedly, but definitely with no large amount of love. Nodding to the two fellow counselors, she steered Anna inside.

Once in there, she brought her sister several feet away from the door before whispering, "You sent all those pictures and video to me, right? And backed them up on the cloud?"

Anna nodded. "Even if they somehow snatch my phone, I backed everything up and made copies on my laptop. If we do talk to them, I'd rather have it done in their cabin so they can't mess with anything." She bit her lip. "Plus… as a precaution, I backed up and deleted most of the pictures I had of us on my phone too. Included the background picture of me and you as kids."

Elsa knew that was one of her favourites. "Oh, Anna…" Then she sighed, taking out her phone and putting it under her pillow. "Well, you can put it back once this is all over. Let's… let's go and face the music. I want you to keep your phone with you, just in case we need to call for help. I can't believe I'm saying any of this, but I'd rather be safe than sorry."

Anna gave her phone a squeeze before putting it as deeply into her back pocket as she could before giving Elsa a very swift kiss on the cheek. "For good luck," she murmured quietly. Thankful they had forgotten to open the blinds since their last intimate moment. "Let's go and get this over with."

"Wait." Then Elsa pulled Anna in for a deeper kiss. If this was going to be for luck, she wanted a lot of it. Anna let out a surprised noise before returning the kiss eagerly, closing her eyes and taking Elsa's face between her hands. Just when she began to feel a tongue poking at her lips, she drew back, panting slightly. "O-okay, that's… that's probably getting close to five minutes."

She giggled softly and nodded, placing one last kiss on Elsa's nose before walking towards the door and opening it. Belle and Aurora were right where they left them and both counsellors turned to the pair at the emergence.

"So? Are you going to talk to us?"

"Very well," Elsa sighed, gesturing in front of them. "Lead the way."

As they walked, Belle glanced at the two of them suspiciously a few times. Elsa tried not to think about it too much; if she did, her cheeks might get even rosier than they probably already were.

Anna, however, was less subtle about it. "Is there something on my face, Belle?" she asked the brunette. "I would appreciate if you would tell me so I can get it off."

"You sure you two haven't been getting off already?" Belle muttered.

"Excuse you!" Elsa hissed sharply. Aurora frowned and nudged Belle with her elbow, leaning in to whisper something that neither sister could catch. Anna moved a little closer to Elsa in response, not liking that move at all if her expression had anything to say about it. It only took a second for Aurora to move away from the brunette and keep walking.

Soon enough, they were at their cabin, walking inside. The minute the door was shut, Elsa folded her arms across her chest.

"So? What do you want?"

Aurora leaned against the door. "We need to talk, that's all. About last night."

"What is there to talk about?" Anna shot back. "We did all the talking last night."

"I don't care what you say about the rest of us," Belle began, overriding whatever Aurora had been going to say next. "But… Snow didn't deserve this. We dragged her along; she wasn't really into the whole idea."

"Yeah. It took poor Snow hours to calm down last night." Aurora tapped her foot. "She's convinced that you'll tattle and ruin her. Anna, she's been kind enough to offer her bed to you when you two had your little 'lovers' spat'. It's cruel to hold this over her head."

Anna bit her lip and looked torn all over again. Elsa remembered it in a flash; the night they had been at odds, Snow was over at the other cabin and Anna had bunked with Rapunzel. She couldn't help feeling a little guilty… but at the same time, Snow had chosen her alliance to be with three other girls who felt right at home blackmailing lesbians into doing their chores.

"We're not holding anything over your head," Elsa snapped, voice far colder than Aurora's. "You wanted to out us. Get us thrown out of camp if we didn't do every stupid thing you asked of us. It's just a disgusting thing to do to other people, and definitely not Christian. We're only using the pics and video as insurance that you won't do that." A little nastier, she added, "Unlike you."

Aurora instantly turned on Elsa. "Out you!?" She hissed, "So you admit it, then! We were trying to teach you a lesson for choosing such a sinful path, and this is how you repay us?!"

Anna instantly flared up, "I'm sorry that Snow was upset, but if this is your version of 'teaching us a lesson', then it's a stupid one and I'm not going to go back on anything I did to ensure you two don't pull this bullshit again!"

"Wait, wait," Belle tried to interject, obviously looking terrified that thing were falling apart. "This wasn't what we called you down here for." Teeth gritted, she hissed, "Aurora…"

"What, Belle? Do you want them to get away with what they are doing?! Not just to Snow, but to themselves?"

Rolling her eyes, she snapped, "You really think blackmailing them into doing our chores is going to make them stop sinning? Please."

"Who died and made you our mother, anyway?" Elsa said with the world's greatest "resting bitch face".

In the wake of what was going on, Aurora forced herself to relax. She took several deep breaths and turned her back on the two girls. Once she was significantly calmed, she turned back to them once more. "I'll let Belle talk for now since I'm having such a hard time with this," she said coolly. "At least until I'm not ready to snap at the sight of you two..."

"Seems smart to me," Elsa muttered.

"Alright," Belle began, looking a little nervous now that she was "in charge" of this strange little meeting. "Well… personally, I do think the Bible says… what Aurora says she saw you doing…" She took a deep breath to calm herself, but in her case it was only from being flustered. "It does go against God's word, but on the other hand, it's between you and God. I feel bad that she tried to blackmail you for it; what she said made sense at the time, but now it doesn't. I feel… dirty."

"I feel the same way," Anna confessed. "About the pictures and video, I mean. Look — we don't want to hurt any of you, but you have to understand that you are the ones who forced us into this. And because of that, I'm not willing to let go of our only defence against you until me and Elsa are far away from here. I feel bad for taking these pictures and I feel even worse for finding it necessary to hold onto them but when it comes to Elsa's safety, I'm going to take any measures necessary. Even if this measure is below my own morals."

The room was quiet for a few seconds. Elsa didn't bother to add anything to that; she was too busy trying not to feel sick at the situation, or to feel a rush of affection for her sister.

"Okay… okay, I definitely see where you're coming from." Glancing at Aurora's stubbornly-turned back, Belle went on, "I mean… to me, you're straying from God, but I suppose… if you were threatening my boyfriend, Adam, I'd be furious with you. And I'd be trying to do anything I could to protect his best interests."

"I just want to know… why you would do any of this." The question wasn't aimed at Belle but at Aurora, who stiffened. "Why would you do this to us, to Elsa, in the first place? Why the slavery? That's not a very Christian way of doing things."

The blonde let out a snort. "You're one to talk," she said, but the words were half-hearted. "I told you why. It was to straighten you up. Girls don't love other girls. It's lust, it's a carnal thing. A little bit of discipline and prayer, and hard work is all you need to get it out of your system."

"Is that what your parents told you?" Anna asked quietly.

The room was quiet for a few seconds. "What's that supposed to mean?" Belle asked, brow furrowing.

"I think," Elsa said in a bewildered voice, "she's hinting that… Anna and I are not Aurora's first brush with homosexuality."

Aurora reached around to hug herself, digging her nails into her arm. "I don't know what you are talking about," she growled. "You shouldn't talk about things you don't even understand."

Anna blinked and bowed her head. "You're right," she said, "it's not really my business, is it?"

"Aurora, wait… really?" Nobody spoke, and Belle pushed a hand into her face. "Great. I'm the only straight person in this room."

Approaching Aurora, Elsa made sure to speak softly. "If it helps you at all… I was where you were when I first realised. I thought God would only punish me, that the feelings couldn't be real because they were 'sin'. I still worry about it, but… how can they be? How can love ever be wrong if God is love?"

"Shut up!" Aurora snapped. "What do you idiots know?! I'm not gay! I'm perfectly straight! I simply expressed a wrong opinion, a-and my parents corrected me the best way they knew how, that's it! You know nothing about me, don't try to pretend you do." She abruptly walked past Elsa and towards her bed, refusing to make eye contact with any of them. "Whatever, it doesn't matter. We talked about what we wanted to talk about, you two can leave."

Belle seemed too thunderstruck to say anything at all. Anna took a step forward but no more, looking concerned but also wary of the older counsellor. But Elsa was ready to dive in head-first. She took a seat on the edge of the bed, a couple of feet away from the other blonde.

"I'm pretty angry with you right now. But we're also fellow Peterhouse Counsellors. I…" Swallowing hard, she whispered, "I know you think I'm a disgusting sinner. But think about it; if that's true, what room would I have to judge you right now?"

Aurora glared at her but her brown eyes were glazed with tears. "I don't need to be judged," she said stiffly. "The only sin I did was trying to blackmail you, and I will pray to God tonight to forgive me, but I'm not afraid to be judged by you or anyone otherwise. His opinion is the only one that matters."

A pained look flashed through Elsa's features. "I didn't say I was going to judge you. I was trying to say the opposite." Sighing, she looked over at Belle and Anna for help. Belle shrugged as if to say, "Who, me?!" Anna looked lost, staring at Aurora as though she was seeing her for the first time. Her head was cocked like she was a puppy. Finally, she sighed and started walking over to the bed, too.

"You know Aurora… ou- my mom…" Elsa winced at the near-slip, but didn't interrupt Anna. "She wouldn't let me see my sister for five years after I told her I kissed my first girl. She totally shut me out of her life. I sent gifts, called, sent letters… Mom didn't let her have any of it. To her, having my sister think I hated her and didn't want anything to do with her anymore… was the better alternative to knowing a sister that loves her but is gay. She no longer treated me like her kid. She treated me like a disease… a parasite that would corrupt my sister. I had no idea any of this was going on until a few weeks ago. It hurt. It hurt so badly that even now, thinking about it makes me want to curl up and cry."

She paused and wiped away at the tears that were starting to build up in her eyes. Aurora was looking at her now and, similarly to Anna, seemed close to tears. There was a frown on her face but her angry eyes had softened as she listened. She looked like she was seeing the redhead in a new light.

"But….in the end, it was worth it. Because my sister knows the real me now, and she still loves me despite it all. You must feel lonely… it must be suffocating to hate something you can't control. But we're trying to say that if you want us to, we can help you."

"Who says I need help?!" Aurora snapped. But it was so feeble neither of them paid it much attention.

"Not 'help' as in to fix you," Elsa clarified. "Just… we'll listen. That's all we meant."

Finally, Belle shook herself from her shock at listening to Anna's confessions. "I'm pretty sure they mean it," she said as she rounded the two on the bed and sat down on Aurora's far side. "And… I'm here for you, too, if you ever need to talk. Now, or whenever."

Aurora glanced between all three of them, looking at her so earnestly and suddenly she couldn't hold it anymore. The anger, confusion and, admittedly, the warmth of their support caused the dam to break and Aurora began to sob, shaking her head desperately to stop the tears that refused to stop. Anna reached out and ran a hand gently up and down her back.

"It's alright," Elsa breathed, not trusting herself to say much more. Belle took up one of her hands to squeeze it as Anna petted her. She wasn't quite as good with touchy-feely things, so she didn't attempt the same. "You'll be alright."

It took several minutes for Aurora to finally calm down and she shrugged Anna's hand away from her. "What are you two even trying to accomplish?" she asked tiredly as she rubbed at her red eyes.

"We just want to help you understand, and to understand you. Isn't that what friendship is all about?" After a few breaths, Elsa finally did hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder. "And I'd really much rather have you as a friend than… than keep hurting each other."

Aurora regarded Elsa and crossed her arms. "While I agree that getting along is preferable at this point, you're not going to get me to change my mind," she said. "I still think it's sinful and wrong."

Grudgingly, she managed to say through gritted teeth, "That's… understandable. Before this year at camp, I would have agreed with you."

"What did you say to your parents?" Belle asked, hoping to shift the topic. "I can't imagine you saying anything to them that would make them snap like that."

"I simply asked if it was weird that I found a girl in my class cute," Aurora said in soft, bitter voice. "My nannies, who were cleaning at the time, got excited and got me to elaborate and I said things that were too much for my parents. So I was punished."

Elsa looked behind Aurora to Anna with a small smile of bemusement. Anna frowned in sympathy. Aurora rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't hit. I was just made to do all the chores in the house and listen to Father's lectures every night for two months. 'Work the sin out of my system,' as he put it. All in all, I got off easy and I'm better for it." The blonde tucked a strand of hair over her ear. "Either way, it's getting late. You ladies should be heading off back to your cabins." Anna looked like she wanted to protest, shuffling her feet, before Aurora mentioned, "I'll… think about what you both said and get back to you on it. But don't expect me to turn into some liberal weirdo."

"Alright," Elsa said as she stood. She hesitated. Then she added quietly, "I know this won't mean a lot coming from 'sinners', but I think your parents overreacted. It's not necessarily 'gay' just to remark on the beauty of another girl."

Nodding along, Belle echoed, "Exactly. I mean, I think women are beautiful all the time, but I don't want to date any of them." Then she scoffed and muttered, "Well, except Kristen Stewart. But I think she's every girl's exception."

"It wasn't that I thought the girl was cute that got me into trouble, it was the fact that I had said 'if I were a guy, I'd date her' that did." Aurora offered that nonchalantly before waving a hand in Anna and Elsa's direction. "Now off with you two before you get in trouble."

Anna looked ready to protest before she simply nodded and grabbed Elsa's arm, despite the worried glance she cast in the oldest blonde's direction. "Come on, we overstayed our welcome for now," she said quietly to her sister.

"Goodnight," Belle offered, though her eyebrows were raised at the other two as she pushed the door closed. Clearly, they were all thinking the same thing, but it wouldn't be wise for them to discuss it at the moment.

As they walked back to their own cabin, Elsa let out a long, shaky sigh of relief. "WHEW."

Anna giggled softly and took Elsa's hand in her own. "That was stressful, wasn't it? But at least it didn't go as badly as we feared."

"No, you're right. It went far better than I expected. Poor Aurora… I mean, not in terms of money, or of being a colossal bitch, but because her parents came down on her for something so innocent…"

"I feel sorry for her, too," Anna admitted. "And the fact that… she took it to heart so seriously… it's really sad." She frowned and her shoulders fell dejectedly. "She not so bad under that 'Mean Girls' exterior, but all that prejudice is in the way of her being our friend… not to mention she must hate that part of herself so much because of what her parents practically beat into her."

Reaching for the door to their cabin, Elsa said, "She must. I know that it was hard for me after Mom said that… that we…"

But they were not alone. Waiting on Anna's bed was someone that should not have been there.

"H-hey, Anna. Can we talk?"

To Be Continued…

#bind us together lord #pankite #forkanna writes #elsanna fanfiction #elsa tremblay #anna saunders #forkanna the writer

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homenum-revelio-hq · 5 years

Photo

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Ashlie!

You have been accepted for the role of SIRIUS BLACK! I had so much fun reading your application! I was particularly impressed with how well you incorporated Sirius’ flaws, particularly how it relates to the Order and his relationships. I also really enjoyed such a creative occupation as magical tatoo artist! I am so excited to have you as part of this roleplay!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Ashlie

AGE: 22

TIMEZONE: est

ANYTHING ELSE: Triggers: flashing gifs

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Sirius Orion Black

AGE: 21

ANY CHANGES:

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Sirius Black has a bark bigger than his bite and will try and scare you away until he finally gives up and snuggles up in your lap, getting fur all over your favorite sweater.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Being one of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black was a full time job. The Blacks were an old, wealthy family and looked up to as the pinnacle of pureblood society. As the heir to such a prominent name and fortune, every small move Sirius made was on alert. From the time he was an infant he was expected to hold and share these values with the rest of society and his affection was based entirely on what he could do for his family. When his robes were sloppy from trying to keep up with Bella he was a disgrace, punished heavily and it was extremely confusing to such a young mind. If he was supposed to be better than everyone in the room simply for being a Black, how was he also an abomination? It was stressful and anxiety inducing, but all Sirius wanted was to please his mother. After hours of talking to his father’s boring stuffy friends, he couldn’t help but run around for a few hours, or take a fly around the garden. He didn’t try to get himself into trouble- he just needed to move. He did slowly learn that his mother’s love was never truly in his reach, not for sale at all and decided to stop fooling himself. The panic, the tears, none of it was worth fighting for the kindness he would never receive.

He remembered the uncle who no one spoke of anymore, knew just how real the threats of completely being removed from the family for not fitting in were. But for some reason it just made Sirius rebell more– cling to the second family he had made for himself in a small group of Gryffindor boys.

Still, when the options was laid in front of him he had not said no immediately. The Dark Lord needed a spy in the school and offered Sirius for what his parents considered the highest of honors. Choose this now, and his entire past would be forgiven, he would be the son his mother always wanted. The favorite child once again. Regulus might be free to live a life outside of the war, outside of the Death Eaters and it would all be because of Sirius. Or he could run away, disappear in the night and lose the only family he had ever known for the chance of getting away. He knew he would never really have fought for Voldemort, for anyone who believed the awful things his parents were constantly rattling off like a gaggle of trained clones. But he had been tempted for the briefest moment. He thinks about it still while he wonders if he could ever duel his baby brother, his cousins. He thinks about how easy it was to send Snape off to that Willow when he knew just how dangerous it would be. Should he really be a part of the Order or will he always be nothing more than another narrow-minded, privileged Black just without all the money?

OCCUPATION:

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

The realities of war are starting to hit in a way that made Sirius wonder if he had ever truly been as progressive as he liked to think he was. He’s slowly realizing the danger that the people he cares about are in, and just how wrong what is happening is and he’s starting to really fight for a cause rather than trying to cause as much trouble as he can while he’s young and alive. But it’s still all centered around himself and his own world. Sirius wants to fight for his friends safety. Get this war over with so he does not have to deal with any more loss.

SURVIVAL:

RELATIONSHIPS:

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: sirius/chemistry - i need to feel out this version of Sirius before I confirm but I do tend to fall toward an ace Sirius

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

ANYTHING ELSE? https://amockblogashlie.tumblr.com/

#homenumaccepted #harry potter rp #hp roleplay #marauders era roleplay #marauders era rp

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