#the body image issues actually are kinda complicated bc I’ve been struggling with eating properly since 4th grade
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Hey are you alright?
haha no
#it’s complicated#well#not really#it’s a combination of 2 things#academic stress and body image issues#the former is mainly caused bc of a uni admissions test that I’m studying for which is not going well#and some of the problems that I can’t do will be in my school final exams#which are super important#and just generally the last year of school is super stressful#and i am losing all my joy for learning and doing math#and I think I’m stupid bc I keep making super dumb mistakes#and I’m scared I’ll fail uni math since I’m so bad at this math#also I have built my entire identity upon being smart and being good at math and now being bad it makes me feel worthless#the body image issues actually are kinda complicated bc I’ve been struggling with eating properly since 4th grade#and have cycled through many reasons for these issues#atm it’s mostly a mix of hating how I look and not feeling like my health is worth the time/effort/money it takes to make and eat food#and also I kinda crave the attention that not eating gets me from my friends#bc if I see that they worry abt me it means that they care#I know it’s silly#I know all of this is silly#also i feel like a terrible friend for a variety of reasobs#on the bright side I haven’t had suicidal impulses for pretty much exactly one month#so that’s good ig#anyways in summary I hate my body and my mind#i am in a constant state of guilt for eating/not doing work#and feel totally overwhelmed and useless and like a failure#sorry this was so long and entirely in the tags
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