#the bug eyes are funny to me it doesnt even creep me out anymore

[oetscop]

sorry i know police sketches are meant to be kinda uncanny so they stick in your mind, like they exaggerate features and all that. but whoever made the derrick todd lee sketch....bro. who the fuck is this bc its NOT HIM LMFAO

[ribbonpinky-art]

feeling melancholic and hopeless again. so im gonna just write out my emotions and none of it correlating. self pity post galore

im thinking about things. life is rough. so stressful. my mental illness is worsening by the day. lots of stuff happens behind the scenes that i choose to not talk about

and what im thinking about now, is that who was once one of my absolute comforts (junko).. im thinking abt that adorable little fumo plush of her i ordered several months ago is just sitting on top of my other plushies.. that i wasn't even excited to have her when she first arrived.

i didn't care.

and that hurt, knowing i didn’t, remembering how much she once meant to me.

same with my Chang’e. i want nothing to do with either of them now. they no longer bring me an ounce of comfort, only dread and remnants of a self indulgent story of kindness that once lifted me up. it all died. feels too idealistic. i feel like im too much of an outcast to let this story exist outside my private circles. i dont even want it anymore, or if i want to ever again

i think as of lately, focusing on oc’s (including ones i havent spoken of yet) has been better for my state of mind

doesnt help that im kiiinda only appreciated for my Junko works!!!! awesome!! i dont want to draw her anymore !!! fml!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! other people are better at drawing her than me anyway, ya wont miss me. lemme focus on my evil lady oc instead...

maybe im being melodramatic, and i do not care. perhaps in a few months i will be enamored with them again? idk. idc either

i feel more disconnected than ever to fandom, when i was seldom a part of any of it in the first place. im that person that exists on the outskirts, not really part of their community. im disconnected to people. i cant make connections with anyone, but i never could .. ok . i could, with a couple folks here and there. im grateful they want me around (not counting my partner of course, theyre the best thing thats ever happened to me. im not just lucky, im fortunate af we met at all)

im aware of my own issues- im autistic, im unmedicated when i probably need meds to regulate my emotions, i live in a toxic family. im triggered terribly easily, and when im hurt, it *hurts*.

 i fear that, because of my strange way of speaking and how a lot of my conversations are stilted, and what i perceive as unusual behavior-- i fear i make other people creeped out/uncomfortable. irl or otherwise. like, maybe ppl will be friendly to me at first, but after a year and i dont say much anything and im just this creepy, quiet weirdo to them now. and thats so silly. whats creepy about me?? im a pint size thing who cant even look anyone in the eye very well. is that creepy?? ok, i struggle to talk sometimes, i might be uninterested in conversation but i dont want to be disliked for it-- idk ((ok i have “Creep” by Radiohead set in my mind because of my mental state, and its kinda funny to me for some reason)

i genuinely feel like i lack intelligence. i suck at thinking. i suck at thinking of words, remembering things, and the tiny mistakes i do make are SO small that it should be impossible to make the mistake in the first place. was i always like this? i feel like i used to be smarter , lol

i am quite literally, a complete failure in my family. i cant stress the truth in that enough. even my grandmother is disappointed in me and only wants to see a text message from me saying i got a worthy job in my field. that only thing that matters to anyone, my one and only point of interest in everyone i speak to in my life even outside my family, is that i dont have a real job. thats it. everyone is waiting for me to be.. someone.

because im no one.

but none of them have been a particularly positive influence in my life, seeing as im stuck here.

i genuinely feel disgusting for existing. my body feels wrong to be in when i am visible to any human being. perhaps even to any animal and bug, too. i dont want to be looked at, to be remembered by anyone who wont understand me

nothing is changing!!!!! and when it is, its worse than before!! why cant i just be brave and GO

..

..

..

not all of this reflects reality. i beat myself up a lot. mirrin knows it. i know it.

it hurts

[yengyangyo]

berry | k.s.w

pairings: kim sunwoo x female reader

genre: college au, friends to lovers

summary: you are in denial that you have a crush on your own friend, kim sunwoo until he made you confess your feelings.

word count: 1.9k

note: i wrote this on sunwoo's birthday. its quite late to post it cs i kept on postponing it sksksk but yea this was inspired by sunwoo's berry. enjoy reading! xo

-

you had sunwoo on your mind for days that you are lacking of sleep. it doesnt sit quite right for you to have this 'romantic' feelings for your bestfriend. meanwhile, sunwoo is not helping you to clear up your mind at all. he's just always there beside you no matter what.

he'd wait at the bus stop just to go to class together with you in the morning even when you're running late. lunch time together is a must unless one of you had other plans. both of you are just stuck together anywhere you go.

so for once, you thought it'd be a good plan to avoid him today. you woke up early that morning to get to class and you texted sunwoo that you had a discussion with your groupmates. this went on for a few days, you were making excuses everyday but sunwoo believed you.

until he couldnt take it anymore.

you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket and you saw sunwoo on the caller id. you were hesitating to pick it up until you felt someone grabbing your wrist from the back, turning you around.

"found ya!"

sunwoo appeared in front of you with the brightest smile. you couldn't help but to feel happy and welcomed by him that you started smiling unknowingly. you get back to your senses seconds later and avoided his eyes.

sunwoo knew something was wrong when he saw your expression fell. he glanced at your phone that kept ringing. he ended the call and your phone went off too.

"why arent you answering my calls? are you still busy?"

you couldnt stand seeing sunwoo looking all gloomy and upset. you felt bad for ignoring him so you tried making up excuses again.

"oh yea i was about to pick it up. sorry,"

sunwoo pouted and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. he's using his favourite perfume again today, you noticed. that scent happened to be your fav of him too. you felt weak and wanting to crawl into a hole or something.

"im craving chicken today. how about chicken and beer for dinner tonight?"

sunwoo turned his head at you, waiting for an answer. you looked up at him and his face was only inches away from you. you looked away, flustered. he had always been this way but only now you noticed how you felt about him which made it more awkward to be this close to him.

"i dont know, sunwoo. i'll have to check with my groupmates," you said, pretending to check your phone for your nonexistent messages.

"its friday come on. i havent hang out with you for days already," sunwoo whined and that made you laugh.

"alright but i get to choose where to eat,"

-

you chose the chicken restaurant near your neighbourhood where you both are regular customers there. the place was crowded with youngsters like the both of you, drunken with beer and chicken.

you were also getting tipsy from drinking. the first 30 minutes of the dinner went normal. asking how each other had been doing with the college life.

sunwoo sighed and rested his chin on his right palm. his eyes falters on you, searching for something. you looked away, feeling a bit burdened and transparent, because sunwoo knew you werent acting yourself these days.

"hey," he called you but you didnt answer and still avoiding the eye contact.

"hey look at me,"

you were startled at the warmth on both of your cheeks. sunwoo was cupping your cheeks to make you look at him straight in the eyes. you didnt know if this warmth was from his hand or from you blushing.

"what's wrong?" he asked. now his hand moved to yours, holding it tight. "you're avoiding me these days. do you think i didnt notice?"

silence fell between you two, just staring at each other. the guilt creeping up inside you and you didn't know where to start.

its the smallest gesture from him that create butterflies in your stomach.

that one time he opened the water bottle for you when he saw you struggling and saying that you're such a baby. his laughter filled the room when you frowned at the remark. you know how much he loves annoying you and in the end he always made you laugh too.

on rainy days, he'd always share the umbrella with you and keeping you close to him so you wouldnt get drenched. sometimes he'd gently rub your arm so you wouldn't get too cold.

sometimes he'd call you names like how boyfriend and girlfriend do, jokingly. though, you somewhat enjoyed it and played along. pretending to cringe but actually was flattered by him.

at this moment, your hand in his, eyes boring into each other, you just want to scream at him how much you love him.

you smiled in defeat and pulled back your hand.

"there were just so many thoughts going on my mind lately, sunwoo. im so sorry,"

he didn't question you any further and he nodded his head.

"whatever it is youre thinking, i just want you to know i'm always here for you,"

you smiled, this time sincerely at him.

"you always are sunwoo. i appreciate that,"

he smirked, "after all, i am the best that you got,"

you rolled your eyes and gave him your disgusted face.

"so are you gonna tell me what's bugging you?"

"i think i like someone. he's just always running round in my mind these days,"

you didnt know where the courage came from to blurt out that out of your mouth. sunwoo who was halfway shoving a piece of chicken in his mouth, stopped. he put it down and looked at you, doubting himself if he heard that right.

"i couldnt stop thinking about him. that pretty much explains that i like him right? or is it just my mind playing games with me?"

you swore you saw his face fell for a second but he went back to the usual sunwoo after that.

"does he know about your feelings?"

you shrugged, "nah. im still trying to find out what i really feel about him. should i tell him?"

sunwoo didnt say anything and chugged down his beer until its empty.

"yea why not," he answered simply. "he must be really lucky to have you,"

you laughed, "i havent done anything yet. there's a possibility that he'd reject me too anyway,"

its funny how you talk about this like its some stranger to sunwoo when you are talking about him. you felt light hearted a bit after letting that out.

"who'd reject you?" sunwoo said while playing with that piece of chicken, not looking at you anymore. "you're pretty and fun,"

you raised an eyebrow, wondering if you heard that right. he was still poking the chicken with his fork, eyes hazy and lips pouting.

"so you're not gonna tell me who is this guy you have a crush on?"

"you'll find out soon,"

-

sunwoo offered to walk you home though you kindly told him he didn't have to. he insisted and now you are walking beside him. he was suddenly quiet after the conversation you had with him.

"is that why you're avoiding me? because you have a crush on this guy?"

he asked, hands in his pockets, eyes looking forward. you looked at him, feeling a bit weirded out by his cold tone.

"no... okay maybe? i dont know. i just needed some time to myself,"

sunwoo fell quiet again for the rest of the walk home. when you reached the front gate of your house, you looked back at sunwoo. he looked like he was upset. you walked up to him and pat his side.

"hey thanks for walking me home. i'll tell you everything when i'm ready okay?"

sunwoo didnt say anything and you turned around to get out of that awkward moment.

"no i'll tell you everything right now okay? hear me out,"

you stopped in your tracks and facing him in confusion. he was pacing around, his hands are restless in his pockets.

"before you confess to him i guess i have to make a move on you first," sunwoo said, this time he raised his voice. "this is why people are saying we should always tell what we feel before we regret it and i dont want to regret it but i think im too late,"

you are worried at him. he looked like he was about to break down right in front of you. you wanted to comfort him but you didnt get what he's trying to say.

"sunwoo, i dont understand. what is it?"

sunwoo stopped pacing around and stopped directly in front of you. you swore you saw his eyes tearing up and you wanted to cry too. you thought, the alcohol has made both of you emotional.

"i like you,"

you both felt like the world is weighing down. it was as if the time has stopped for you two. you were staring at each other in disbelief.

"i know you like someone else and i shouldve told you sooner. i kept on putting back my feelings behind," sunwoo halted, gasping for air. "im too late now but i have to tell you this,"

"sunwoo-"

"i dont care who he is. but i want you to know that you deserve of love. you kept on telling yourself you dont deserve anyone. you know how badly i want to tell you that im here? i want to love you," sunwoo was practically shouting at this point. he sighed, "shit im already am in love with you,"

at those words, your tears came streaming down like crazy. you've never seen him cry but tonight he looked beautiful even when he's crying. you lurched forward and wrapped your arms around him. he buried his face in your neck and you felt his warm tears on your skin.

"im sorry. i just wanted to let that out after keeping it for so long. this is the worst timing huh?" he murmured under his breath.

you shook your head and laughed. you let go of the hug first and cupped his face in your hands. teary eyes staring at each other.

"sunwoo its you,"

"what?"

"i love you too,"

you closed the distance between the two of you, kissing him for the first time. that caught him off guard but then smiled in the kiss. it was sloppy but sunwoo is for sure leading you well at this. you both craved for this for a long time already. you were still crying of relief and touched by his confession.

"you should've told me before i start crying like an idiot," sunwoo looked down at you, smiling with his swollen eyes.

you laughed at him and you snuggled more into his embrace not wanting to let go too soon. you realized how much you miss him after those dreading days of ignoring him. he rested his chin on your head while gently patting you.

"im sorry ive been ignoring and denying my feelings for you,"

"its okay. thank god we actually like each other though," you both laughed at the same time and you havent felt this happy and giddy before.

"so i can actually call you my baby now?" sunwoo asked smirking at you playfully, knowing how much you hated it before.

"that's still cringy but sure, babe,"

[wolferals]

🌟HIM AGAIN🌟

arón piper preference

*

*

-it was a totally normal Saturday for you

-you got up around 9:30, took a quick cold shower to cool down since its been really hot lately

-afterwards you had some breakfast, just some toast with strawberry jam and a glass of chocolate milk

-it was around 11 when you had decided to have a day just for yourself

-you‘ve made a little plan of what to do today

-just some general ideas what you could do

-first on your last was going to the grocery store

-quickly you grabbed your keys from the living room and put the rest of your stuff like phone, lip balm, a bottle of water and a scrunchie in your backpack

-then you hopped in your car and drove as close to the center as you could so you were able get all your stuff without walking long distance

-all the stores were in your reach

-on your way to the grocery store, which was only like a 5 minute walk you first put on your sunglasses due to the bright light and then checked your phone for a second

-then you looked up

-and a guy walked past you

-he was handsome you thought but didnt really pay attention until he sent you a cute smile

-you smiled back and kept walking

-u‘ve never seen anyone in Madrid who just passes you on the sidewalk smile at you

-especially not a guy

-but you didnt think anything of it, you just wanted to concentrate on yourself today

-it was officially you-time

-very well deserved after the last project you had to do at college

-it had been stressing you out for weeks

-but now it was over and you needed a break

-at Mercadona you just wandered around the aisles for a while and eventually got everything you wanted

-the usual

-some bread, milk, eggs, some juice, pasta and some rice and a bunch of different candies for your soul

-you really needed this right now

-after paying for your stuff you put all of it in a tote bag and left to bring all of it back to your car

-since your car wasnt parked anywhere far away it took you only a couple of minutes until your bag was secure on your backseat

-quickly you checked your phone for the next destination

-which was getting your eyebrows plucked

-your friends sister did that for you for a great prize and you really liked the way she did it

-so you headed there real quick

-„hey girl!“ she greeted you as you walked in

-„hey nice to see you.“ you spoke and hugged her for a second before she had to go back to her customer

-„looks great.“ you complimented the girl who‘s makeup she was working on right now

-she smiled at you and thanked you

-„just sit down, I‘ll be done in a minute.“ Ella told you and you did as she said

-so you just spend a bit of time scrolling through your phone but that got boring soon so you just looked around

-out the window mostly

-not to sound like a creep but you liked watching people

-more like observing characters

-its so weird how different people can come off as just by walking by

-you saw two girls together

-one of them blonde, wearing super girly clothes like a crop top and a cute dotted skirt

-the other one had black short hair, bangs in a bright purple color, wearing more like emo-clothes

-you liked how people showed off who they were with their clothes

-and then a guy walked by

-he looked familiar

-you had passed him before, you had remembered his blue shirt with the little picture on it

-weird you thought but forgot about it the second Ella told you to sit down at the chair

-after your eyebrows were in a good shape again you went to the next store

-you‘ve been looking for a knitted top for a while and your friend had told you you could find it at Zara

-so off you went

-the walk was a bit farther but not like a challenge

-as you walked past a busy street

-you noticed a very cute dog sitting in front of a store

-he wasnt on a leash

-must be a very well behaved dog you thought

-you went up to him, you just couldn’t resist

-you pet him carefully and looked around to maybe see the owner

-„naw who do you belong to?“ you asked the dog in a cute voice

-he just looked at you and obviously enjoyed you scratching his head

-„me.“ you suddenly heard a voice and stood up from the ground

-„he‘s mine.“ a tall handsome man spoke and put his phone in his jeans pocket

-it was this guy again

-the one who you had seen twice in one hour already

-„he‘s really cute.“ you just spoke and kept on walking

-all you heard was a laughing „thanks.“ as your back was turned to him

-it did feel very strange to see this guy all the time

-considering that madrid is huge

-it was probably just a coincidence

-to bluntly summon this, you didnt find the top you were looking for because it had been sold out in your size

-unfortunately

-so you decided to go to another store to check

-but they didnt have anything close to it either

-after another hour you quickly grabbed a sandwich at a bakery nearby and wanted to head back to your car

-while eating your sandwich on the way you got a little bit distracted by your phone

-so you dropped a piece of tomato on the ground

-but before you could pick it up to throw it in the trash can nearby someone was faster

-well not quite a person

-a dog

-and you had seen this dog before

-you were weirded out by now

-„oh.“ was all you could say in this situation

-„paco.“ someone yelled and you looked up to see this guy, the fucking same guy AGAIN, jogging up to the both of you

-„i‘m sorry he‘s young and...“ he stopped and looked at you as if he had recognized you as well

-„its okay, i would’ve eaten it anymore anyways.“

-the guy laughed a little

-he had a gap between his front teeth

-your first boyfriend had had one too

-well, you were 12

-„sorry, he keeps bugging you.“ he said and grabbed the dog at the collar

-„no dont worry! He‘s just playful I understand that. But my full respect that he doesnt need a leash.“ you spoke impressed

-„yeah my dad taught him that. He‘s a good boy.“ the guy smiled down at his dog

-you smiled back

-„yeah he seems like it.“

-„anyway I have to go. But I‘ll probably see you again today.“

-you started laughing

-he joined you and then added a:“Im sure. Have a good day!“

-„you two as well!“ you replied and smiled one last time before finally reaching your car and driving home to have a nice afternoon all for yourself

*2 days later*

-your friends had invited you to a game night at their shared apartment

-you were super excited

-Sheila just told you her boyfriend would be coming too

-and that he might bring a friend so that you guys would be an even amount of players

-you were just sitting at the dining table sipping on a glass of wine as the doorbell rang

-„oh finally.“ Sheila groaned and ran to open the door

-you heard them greet each other and someone took off their shoes and their jacket

-„Guys, thats Jorge, but you‘ve met him before. Like once? And that’s Arón, his best friend.“

-you looked up

-and you couldnt fucking believe it

-„No.“ was all you said and stood up

-this wasnt true, man

-that dude again

-„You.“ he started laughing

-Sheila looked around all confused

-„You two know each other?“ she asked

-Arón and Jorge sat down

-Arón then eventually spoke:“Funny story.“

-you couldnt keep his eyes off him

-other than the other day he was wearing a flannel and jeans not the sweats and the oversized shirt

-and he smelled good

-„Yeah really weird.“ you added to his comment

-„Tell us!“ your other friend encouraged you

-arón kept staring at you

-and when sheila responded:“maybe its destiny“ you knew it too

-and judging from his face, he did too