#the closest i’ll get to seeing him in concert if im being honest :’)

[stylishtveit]

📸 : Barrington Stage Company

ICYMI, Aaron’s recent live concert at Barrington Stage is available to stream an unlimited amount of times from September 9-12.

Tickets are $35 & can be purchased from the Barrington Stage Company website!

[shoushatohaisha]

report: haikyuu!! summer week day 3 (karasuno, fukkatsu!!)

previously: day 1 (shoen) day 2 (itadaki no keshiki)

guests: shouri, naoki, shou, acchan

it's been really interesting to see how each screening has a different flavor depending on the show and the guests. for example, the first two shows were very much influenced by the interaction between the audience and the screened content, while the first act of this event was not so much a screening of "karasuno, fukkatsu!" as it was a live-action show of "kondou shouri, fukkatsu!" like. oh my god. I THOUGHT KENTA WAS BAD ABOUT REENACTING CHOREO at least he stayed seated half the time, shouri was straight up diving and rolling across the stage for every single one of nekoma's matches plus some of his white coat scenes as well. because if you put him in front of an audience this is just what happens.

BUT I DIGRESS. let us begin at the beginning.

first let me apologize for the fact that the first act will be light on shou and acchan because i was way up front, meaning i could only watch one half of the stage at a time, and it was real hard to watch anything other than The Kondou Shouri Hour. but more about them in the second act and aftertalk!!! ...also, i'm not gonna lie, i did not absorb a lot of the first five minutes or so because i was like, entranced by naoki's face. good lord that man has cheekbones. ANYWAY.

shouri: tbh this is the first time i've had a script to MC an event… honestly, who needs it. (tosses the clipboard over his shoulder)

he also mentioned he was at the screening the night before to figure out how this whole cheering thing worked, WHICH WOULD EXPLAIN THE PART WHERE RYOUTAROU AND JUSTIN WERE CLEARLY LAUGHING AT SOMEONE IN THE WINGS fldajfkldjf i thought at the time it was juudai and sonde, or maybe that kenta was there again (…i mean, he was, lol), but i bet it was shouri.

so then it was time for cheering practice. nice kill, nice receive, jump serve… shouri: oh and then when someone gets a point, cheer for them. you know like, I-I ZO, KU-RO-O, O-TO-KO-MA-E (roughly "NICE, KUROO, YOU'RE THE MAN") naoki: LOL WASN'T THAT YOUR CHEER IN HIGH SCHOOL shouri: yes :D shouri: ii zo, shouri, otokomae!! naoki: oh my god shouri: …let's do it now :D naoki: WE REALLY DON'T HAVE TO shouri: (already backing up for a run up) naoki: ok. cheer for kuroo, ok. shouri: no, for shouri :D naoki: ……………. shouri: (runs up and does a massive jump spike) audience: I-I ZO, SHO-U-RI, O-TO-KO-MA-E!! sound tech: (WHISTLE BLOWS)

to explain the whistle thing – so each night when the cast got too far off track or were going too long, a ref's whistle would sound. the previous two nights, it happened once or twice. how many times did shouri get whistled off? A LOT.

of course we practiced the datekou cheers as well! shouri: datekou, please show them how to do it acchan: but i mean, in the actual show, nekoma-san did this part, right shouri: right!! we did!! in the white coats acchan: so we'd like to leave it to you now ok thank you :) shouri: ...wait

(in the end they both did it.)

they then cued up the next screen… which was the entire datekou vs karasuno rap. XD shou: look. the rap is long and complicated, it's tiring, i'm sure it would be tough to do the whole thing. but even if you can't. everyone just please be sure to do sakunami's line. "funk it block." naoki: and yamaguchi's. shoubu no wakareMEEEE.

then shouri started explaining the special cheers/moves he thought up that he wanted us to do flfjaf;djkfdf. when nekoma sway back back and forth to their theme he wanted us to wave our thundersticks in time. "I THOUGHT THIS UP A MONTH AGO," he said proudly. "I WAS REALLY EXCITED FOR THIS EVENT!!!"

shouri: and here's another one i thought up a month ago shouri: in the manga there's a cheer that goes ike ike nekoma, right. so this is what i want us to do -- shouri: ike ike nekoma, nyan nyanya nyanyanyan! (waves cat paws) sound tech: (WHISTLE)

as before we ended by chanting ose ose nekoma / go go datekou except this time after about two seconds shouri and shou were like, yelling out at the top of their lungs running around the stage while naoki maded increasingly desperate whistling motions toward the sound booth. shouri: let's do it again! naoki: ISN'T THIS ENOUGH shouri: IM THE MC I MAKE THE RULES naoki: kansai people are terrifying. shouri: (super thick kansaiben) I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR A LAUGH

(and that, incidentally, is the difference between what shouri and kenta were doing w/r/t choreo -- you get the impression that this is probably how kenta watches these shows at home whereas put shouri in front of an audience, even if that audience is two people, and he can't help but perform. his and takato's consistently over the top ad libs suddenly make so much sense…)

all this, and the actual screening hadn't even started. deep breaths.

tonight the audience started calling out "furudate haruichi!" "worry-san!" "nakayashiki-kun!" when their names appeared on screen just like they were some of the players, it was cute. XD also even though kiyoko wasn't yet physically present, every time she "appeared" off stage the audience swooned "KIYOKO-SAAAAN".

so for the opening, of course they came out and did their own parts (props to acchan and shou for how well synced they were with the screen, their timing was super impressive) but then they all took turns doing not just a little bit of the rest but EVERYONE else's. iirc shouri was oikawa, naoki was iwa-chan, shouri was daichi, naoki was suga, shou was asahi, acchan was tanaka and ennoshita (the timing broke down a little bit here XD), naoki was takechan, shouri was ukai, naoki was kageyama, and shouri was hinata.

it was funny because like, when they first start doing other characters naoki was like, laughing at himself, still a little self-conscious but by the time he ran out to do kageyama's jump he was super into it and getting huge amounts of air lol. that was sort of the pattern of the night, naoki was clearly enjoying himself and excited in a normal person way but then kept getting dragged into increasingly weird shit by shouri and by the end would be like FINE LET'S GO LET'S DO IT.

as previously mentioned this resulted in them reenacting the vast majority of nekoma's choreo in full, in the center of the stage. flips and rolls and dives and all. shouri also kept forgetting this was not, like, a concert or something and would literally be bouncing up and down waving his thundersticks when he wasn't actively dancing. but then he got all embarrassed during kuroo's "that sparkling stage…!" speech and walked off stage... but BARELY, he was hovering so close in the wings that i could still see him ahaha. the closest he could physically force himself to actually leaving the spotlight. XD in contrast, naoki was so embarrassed during his first couple lines/closeup that he tied his nekoma towel around his face, walked off stage, and didn't come back for a full minute. hee.

shouri also made naoki leave the stage with him so that they could walk back on for nekoma's pre-match entrance, this time with shouri wearing his jacket specifically so he could reenact the dramatic toss and catch, which he then intentionally dropped a la the DVD blooper roll, as naoki took hinata's role of pointing at it in shock.

naoki was also apparently the "voice" of kiyoko behind the "tobe!" flag, shouri was very excited to make sure we knew that. OH for the first scene between kuroo and kenma, SHOU came out as kenma with shouri trailing after him measuring the height difference between the two of them and making exaggerated confused faces. and after nekoma waved goodbye and left the stage after the practice match was over, naoki also waved goodbye and walked off but shouri was so caught up in watching that he didn't notice naoki was gone for at least a minute and then did a huge doubletake at the empty chair. XD

last but not least, for the kurotsukki fans out there, i know you're reading this, during the practice montage at the end of act 1 shouri acted out tsukki's bit standing there tossing a volleyball with one hand like :|, and his attempt at a bored tsukki expression was hilarious, shouri's face just doesn't do that naturally. XD

so while the first act was like a show on stage we were watching, the second act was, of all the screenings so far, the most like an actual proper call-and-response cheering event. first was the tokonami match, of course, and honestly the biggest compliment to how well and effectively this match was staged is that there was zero snark – instead, i heard several people sniffling -- and the applause after ikejiri walked off stage went on for a long, long time.

but then the datekou match had so much for the audience to do! there was a LOT of cheering and chanting to take part in, and of course acchan and shou acted out big scenes like aone and futakuchi's "lock ON", the big blocks, "TEPPEKI DA" etc. by the end acchan was just on his feet making frustrated faces when he got blocked out ahaha. but this is the part that felt closest to actually being part of the student cheering squad at a volleyball game… if part of the cheers were a rap.

(at some point shouri and naoki came back on stage as well, and to be fair to them, for a split second when they came out again i was like OH NO LET THE DATEKOU KIDS HAVE THEIR CHANCE TO SHINE but while shouri did get very into reenacting their choreo he stayed off to the side and didn't distract from the main characters. thanks kondou-kun. XD

daichi: like [iwaizumi] said, datekou are really strong acchan: ^__^ (nod) suga: three months ago their iron wall totally destroyed us acchan: ^____^ (nodnod) suga: to be honest, we still haven't wiped out the fear from that time acchan: ^________^ (nodnodnod)

my favorite part about datekou, though, was at the end, when we got our first real emotional casualties of summer week. so first, aone's handshake with hinata also got a really, really long ovation, and shou started to look super emotional. then the datekou third years' retirement scene happened. because i know kimura atsushi, i was locked on (heh) to him from the moment it began, and was therefore able to watch in real time as his mouth slowly turned down and his face crumpled and his eyes glinted with tears. then when moniwa started talking about how next year's iron wall would be even stronger, he suddenly stood up and just nodded emphatically at every line but couldn't even smile. acchan i love u.

another sweet thing was that during that scene, the final "we played… we played volleyball!" scene with the losers, shou just took a long, slow look around the audience with this really gentle expression and later in the aftertalk he said he could see people crying and that he was really touched and grateful.

so, speaking of the aftertalk!

shouri and naoki also talked about aiia closing and how it felt kind of destined that it was where they had both their haikyuu debut and now their last haikyuu event. naoki: appearing as members of the cheering squad. shouri: as the ensemble cast. naoki: shouri, you were definitely the loudest person here. shouri: because i'm the MC!

they dragged-slash-complimented shou for his scary aone face. "yeah, i'm kind of scared by myself when i see the recording tbh because it's not like i could SEE myself when i was made up on stage." acchan: but off stage he's really nice!! naoki: yeah, you always gave off this kind of sweet idiotic air in the dressing room. shou: …actually… something like that happened today…

and then he explained how during the scene when aone is blocked out by hinata and lands with a thump back on stage, he reenacted it today… and when he landed in a crouch, his pants tore. XDD CUE EVERYONE DUCKING BEHIND HIM AND LIFTING UP THE SHIRT TIED AROUND HIS WAIST TO CHECK OUT THE TEAR AND FALL AROUND LAUGHING like literally naoki was lying on the stage paralyzed with laughter. shouri kindly demonstrated to us exactly where and how large the tear was, thanks shouri. "lucky i wore a shirt around my waist today!" shou said.

acchan also explained how he and shou did different variations on the "lock ON" on asahi, so of course shouri made them demonstrate – and they did one in which futakuchi tries to push aone's arm down, it pops back up, and futakuchi then walks his fingers cutesily up aone's arm as he says "yamenasai!"

then naoki told us about how during the scene when hinata spikes with his eyes open, one day takeru came up to him and said super seriously, "what's the deal with hinata closing his eyes? don't you normally spike with your eyes open?" naoki explained there was a line about how he hits with his eyes closed earlier, to which takeru replied, "i didn't hear anything about that, idk what you're talking about" and that was when naoki realized he was speaking as yaku. "i get staying in character but he WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO ASK ME ABOUT IT."

speaking of, shouri also said that the show was just around the time the volume with the nekoma third years' backstory came out so that if you watch the full stage recording you'll see kuroo and yaku squabbling and kai trying to break them up in the background and such.

then, another takeru story, for one particular scene when the nekoma cast was holding up the iron wall it was always incredibly hot, because they'd already worked themselves into a sweat during their actual match as nekoma, then they'd have to put on these long white coats, so it was unbearable… and then on top of that, takeru would come over and like. squish up next to him. and it would be even MORE hot. so naoki would be like, "pssst get away from me" and takeru would just sit crouch there dead still staring straight ahead. "i got SO MAD AT HIM."

so that’s why today takeru was tweeting "…what did shouri and naoki say about me." XD

finally, their final messages! that's when shou said the bit i mentioned earlier about how moving it was to see the fans' reaction, and added "I'M DEFINITELY COMING BACK i mean i don't know if that's actually possible BUT I DEFINITELY WELL." acchan fell all over his own words and then was like I CAN'T PUT HOW GRATEFUL I AM INTO WORDS i love haikyuu bye. naoki said how how grateful he is that his first and last experiences at aiia were both, specifically, "karasuno, fukkatsu." and shouri just talked about how WOW HAIKYUU'S AMAZING WORRY KINOSHITA IS AMAZING. (naoki: just pretend he's an alien or something, ok guys?) and then, also, that he owes his career to the show basically and is super grateful and proud to have been involved.

OH, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST -- the sound tech got the last laugh on shouri. they thanked us for coming and bowed... and then the credits music didn't start like it did for everyone else, they had to start singing it themselves – "da da DAH da da da DAH da da da DAH da da da dah" while shouri yelled at the sound booth "HEY, DON'T PUNISH ME" until the tech took pity on them and cued up the music. then shouri purposely "tripped" and fell going off stage, naoki held back shou and acchan from going back to help him, and they got whistled off one last time. XD

…the end. jesus that was a lot, how the hell are we going to get through shinka no natsu as led by shouri, we're all gonna die.

tonight: shousha to haisha………………. pray 4 me. see you tomorrow!!

[gibbyj]

goodnight and goodbye handsome

7.13.21 / 2:21 am

fuuuuuck i’m high!!’ turns out if you don’t smoke all day you get literally blasted. anyways hahaha, that’s not the point is it?

if you’ve gotten this far, i assume you’re reading this. honestly, i assume you’re reading this anyway. maybe not tonight, or tomorrow, but for some reason you’ll come. in a few days, you’ll visit my page.

here’s the thing, i know why i visit you. i’m in love with you. it’s really that simple. i tell people that, and i think that. deep down, i fear it may not be true. i’m terrified i’ve wasted years of my life craving a fling. and yet, deeper down, i’m drawn to you. i’m trapped in your fucking wave.

that’s a song you told me to listen to. do you remember why we broke up? hahahaha, i guess that’s a dumb question. in this world, everyone genuinely has their own truth. their own steps they’ve walked in this world to get to the version of themselves and their surroundings in their mind. [side note: that’s pretty fucking poetic right? i came up with that in 10 seconds high as a kite, please start writing again? i miss it, the world misses it. what happened to your notebook? ik you have ideas in there]

anybays, here’s my full version of why i genuinely believe you broke up with me. 1) you had a crush on her, and you were attracted to her 2) you were hurt bc i had been in texting him 3) we were fighting a lot 4) we had been getting bored 5) i was kinda petty and a bitch 6) i had been lying to you (and the world) for most of my life 7) i had been intentionally distancing myself and avoiding you 8) i’m SURE things i’m forgetting

i’m sure that’s incomplete, and perhaps incompatible with your version of events. i had also already broken up with you, that was a major factor. i used to point this out to our friends, and anyone who would listen to me, that you followed a similar path. when was the last time you were genuinely single, 14? 15? i don’t point that out to say that you weren’t able to grow, i’ve spent most of my grown life in love. but you always had someone lined up. you didn’t get rid of me until you had someone else to kiss.

i did that too, but i got bored. i really thought you would get bored. and i’m sorry, i wish i didn’t wish that. every part of me wants to have been able to let you go after i had written my first goodbye. but here’s the thing. you responded, quickly. and i’m sorry, im genuinely sorry for all of the times i reached out to you. im sorry for trying to add you on snapchat. im sorry for messaging you when i thought you were trying to talk to me. and im really, really, sorry for blacking out and texting you.

but here’s the, thing. you responded. you respond quickly. why do you check on me? seriously, why? sometimes i think, probably more like hope, you’re here bc i look good in my pictures, bc obviously that’s my intention. but why do you talk to me? and no, you dont. that’s really hard to explain to the people closest to me. no, we don’t talk, he like subtweets me? but i swear i’m not crazy. no really, they’re original posts, what else could they be?

and i dissect them, over and over again. i listen, i think about it, i picture you singing in your car, or smiling with your eyes closed. i think of you in your bed, thinking of me, and i don’t know why. because you don’t talk to me, you don’t seem to like me, and you don’t seem to be unhappy.

i drove past your house tonight. and in my FUCKING defense, it’s an alternative to my gd house, no one seems to understand that it’s literally like not a detour and i get home in the same amount of time. but i really don’t know why i do it. because i’m never happy. it’s never what i want. here’s what i want, i want you walking to your car, and seeing me drive past, i’d wave, slow down, and say hi. and finally ask for a goddamn explanation.

but that’s never going to happen. and i have to accept that. that’s never going to happen. i’m never going to rest my head in your neck, or hold your hand, or kiss you, or hug you, or laugh with you, or sing, or drive, or talk to you ever again. and that makes me so sad.

as i write that, i can feel the blood draining from my arms, and my stomach fell. i will probably go to sleep tonight, and even though i’ll distract myself with cormac mccarthy, i’ll be sad tonight.

my grandmom died on thanksgiving. i’m sure you don’t remember, but she was my best fucking friend. i’m not gonna talk about that, but i bring it up to say that if i’m being honest, my bones feel the same now as they did then.

we’re dead. the glimmer of me that believes in us, that picture going to concerts, seeing you drunk, dancing and laughing and singing and kissing and fucking and driving and watching movies and making jokes and living life together is gone. it’s dead. it has to be dead.

i went to barnes and noble today, and i looked for your car in the parking lot. i went to ocean city, and i scanned the top of the crown looking for your smile. and then i went to hammonton.

i got drinks with an ex tonight, don’t worry it wasn’t you. we have nothing in common, but he’s a good friend to me, and he’s really supportive and is always there for me, which tbh isn’t a common trait among my good friends. we talked, and it was pretty boring, but it was nice. and i asked him wtf you were doing. what it meant. why. if i should drive past your house.

he said no, i shouldn’t. he didn’t understand why i would choose to hurt myself that way. i showed him your page, and he chuckled a little. i dissect your feed, i visit you in the morning and the evening. every original post a message. a reaction or a plea in some way.

he told me i was crazy, which he isn’t wrong about. and the funny thing is, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. sometimes, i fear i’m just a joke. maybe you guys watch me together, listen to my songs and laugh at the desperation between the lyrics. but, i really don’t think that’s it. you’re better than that. you’re nice, people don’t know that, to be honest you don’t always show that, but you have such a pure heart. and i don’t think you’re that gross.

maybe i’m wrong, and gd if i am gg sis you really found your person. but i don’t think im talking to both of you. i really, really think im talking to you. sometimes, it really feels like im talking to you. like you’re next to me, if i close my eyes, i can almost feel your hands on me.

but, im not. you’re in that deer town, and im in the college court. we’re thirty miles, and three years apart from one another. we’ve grown and changed and flipped upside down from those kids hanging out at the voorhees mall.

and so im left to figure out by myself why you’re here. why despite you being far and happy, you come to haunt me. you know, most exes emotionally haunt their ex, not legitimately leave unnecessary and misleading breadcrumbs.

i have a whole slew of degrees now, so i’ve come to my best version of a guess: you’re filing your insurance card. and you know what? four hours ago, i really would have been okay with that. i would have dated and waited and dated and waited until you came crying back, because you were my person. you were my goddamn dream boy. and i couldn’t believe i had you.

i let you go so quickly. and goddamn julia you didn’t let anyone go. here’s what i realized: anyone can fight for anyone. if you wanted me as badly as i want you, you would be here. here, here. but you’re not. instead, she’s there.

and i finally realized, what’s the goddamn point? i don’t know if you realized bro but i’m literally a gd catch. also, tbh i’m a lady w 38ddds so i can laid truly anytime i need to. and more importantly, i’m funny. i’m nice. im kind and i’m compassionate and caring and giving and smart as hell and really fun to hang out with. im a great singer, and a really fun dancer. and guys realize that.

there are so. many. guys like you. and i don’t mean that to be rude, trust me i didn’t know that this morning. but there are funny guys out there. there are guys who will go crazy when i take my clothes off and call me when i’m sad, and they’ll be happy to do it. they’ll be excited to be with me, i won’t be a back up.

and so, i’m giving myself that opportunity. i’m letting myself let go of you, to bury you and us alongside the memories i’m grateful for. so thank you, for teaching me all of my favorite bands. for making me laugh, and holding me when i needed you to. for kissing me, for loving me, and for reminding me that even now, im still a little special.

but i’m not going to sit around and wait for you to react. im not going to check on your songs, or your liked posts, or drive past your goddamn house. im not going to obsess over what you’re trying to say, because if you wanted to say it, you would. you wouldn’t hide it in spongebob songs, you would just message me. you would say hi.

but you dont, and deep down, i know you wont. god, even now, i want this to turn you inward. but when it doesn’t, or if it does and you still want nothing to do with me, i’m not gonna cry. because i really, really, really believe i’m gonna be okay.

i hope you’re okay too. i really, really wish you nothing but the best in this world. whatever this world brings you, i hope it comes with happiness, the ability to find joy in any situation, laugh at the small things. i believe in you, i hope you learn to believe in yourself.