#the draft automatically switching back to post...evil...

[frenchy-and-the-sea]

So, here's the thing.

Despite the Barovia Tour Group's fairly decent acquaintance at this point - and despite the fact that we've saved each other's lives numerous times now - all of the bullshit that we deal with on a daily basis of being, you know, in Barovia has put a bit of a stopper on doing things like talking about where we're from. It just doesn't seem relevant when you're doing things like fighting werewolves and purging ghosts from old manors, you know?

So, in the midst of failing to entertain our escort to the castle in any noticeable way (Sorry ESCHER, not all of us are bards!!!!) Wyn decided to forgo any more stilted attempts to service him with new songs/stories/interesting tidbits of info from the outside world, and instead leapt upon an opening in the conversation that our wizard gave to probe him more about his history. See, she had done this once before at the beginning of the game, to the whole group, in an attempt to glean a little more information about the people she was traveling with, and the wizard in particular had been a little cagey about it. She had let it go at the time since they were all so new to each other, but after almost dying together and with a solid four hours of travel to fill, surely THIS time he would relent?

And he did! He told us about his childhood, how he grew up traveling the Sword Coast around Baldur's Gate and Waterdeep. He told us about the people that he lived among, who were merchants and performers and tinkerers and musicians and con artists, who sort of glommed together over time because traveling alone is difficult and those are the sorts of livelihoods that got more out of not sticking around in one place. He told us about how he learned how to read people, how he got comfortable with fast-talk, how he eventually developed a scheme to earn his living by doing card readings to tell people's "fortunes." He told us about how he started to get good at it. And then really good. And then unnaturally good, which eventually put him on the path to learning magic.

And then, he pulled out a box.

Now, a little background in case you haven't kept up with my increasingly unhinged updates about this campaign: our wizard Tobias is, with the greatest possible love and affection, a self-assured, flippant, dry-humored, pompous little asshole. He is outrageously confident, as flamboyant in his spellcasting as any wizard you have ever known, and his tendency to crack wise at the slightest opportunity has gotten him (and sometimes us) in plenty of trouble. Oh, he's ridiculously kind, and makes a concerted effort to help other people without even the most minute of hesitations, but MY GOD is he full of the kind of casual confidence that most people can only dream of.

So it was maybe the shock of Wyn's life to have him shyly hand her that box, and to pull it open and find that his divination instrument - the fundamental tool of his trade, the thing that has nearly single-handedly supported him through adulthood and through the horrors of Barovia so far - was a battered deck of standard issue playing cards that a teenage version of himself had scrawled, with cheap inks and the artless determination of a 13-year-old on Deviantart, into tarot cards.

This man that Wyn met when he arrogantly tried to one-up a fellow fortune-teller - who casually flaunted his magic so much that it nearly got him killed in our first encounter with the Countess, who regularly tells the rest of the party that he's the strongest/smartest/most well-equipped one among us all and only seems to be MOSTLY joking - does all of his work with a battered old playing card deck that the barely-not-a-child version of him tried valiantly to make into the "right" tool. For someone who exudes so much competence, so much confidence, how vulnerable must that have felt? How easy would it have been to just tell the tale and move on, without exposing this particular little tidbit? What did that mean, that he chose to do it now, after being allowed to duck their scrutiny before?

Eventually, when Wyn finally managed to smother the absolute blistering riptide of fondness that had torn open in her chest, she handed the cards back, offering to help paint new ones if that was something he wanted. Tobias accepted. Said that he'd really like that, actually.

Wyn's thinking that maybe she'll start with The Sun.

It's late but y'all remind me to tell you about what happened in Curse of Strahd today because on one hand we did absolutely nothing except show up to the castle for dinner.

On the other, Wyn got to learn a bunch of stuff she didn't know about her fellow travelers, including something about the wizard that made me so overcome with fondness that I had to get up and walk away from the table.

[mrpenguinpants]

Alright, I finally read Reincarnation no Kaben

AFTER MONTHS (it’s probably been a month? My mind doesn’t keep track of the days) I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO RNK. Ty to Okita anon for the recommendation (*￣3￣)╭💕💕💕 I absolutely loved it. 

After this I’ll start on the other recommendation you gave me. I kept a bit of a log of my reading journey under the read more tag. 

Major spoilers for literally everything in RNK up to ch 53 “Withdrawal”. 

Oh, and I’ll finish answering all my leftover asks and I SHOULD have a fic done by tomorrow. I was so ready to write and then I got up. Now I’m back to bed. 

I’m just gonna write this as a log since I read super super slow and I’m only on ch 7 at the start of writing this but I’m really liking it already. Though to be fair. I love everything okita anon recommends haha. I remember you saying you were simping over Kouu and I haven’t gotten to the part where he appears but I wanted to quickly google what he looked like to prepare myself and I see this:

Well. That’s reassuring. 

I was actually kinda surprised by how many western figures were in the manga since I know there are only like 7? Around 7 western figures that pop up in any anime/manga but seeing people like Albert Fish was kinda surprising but I really liked it. Also, at the end of certain chapters they write little bio’s on them so you get to know more about them was such a nice touch.  I also love that the tradition of making males -> females still stays strong even outside the fate universe hehe.

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Literally, the next chapter I see him. AHHHHHHHHH. Well maybe not him but his eyeballs. 

This guy lowkey reminds me of the MC’s brother but it’s 99% because he has the same long ponytail. I wouldn’t be surprised if the brother was apart of the the Greats. Honestly, Ein reminds me of those really hard headed girls that are actually really kind on the inside but aren’t good at expressing themselves (maybe because that’s pretty much her character). I also like that Ein doesn’t like males but she’s hiding behind this guy. At least, I’m..99% sure this is Ein. 

I FUCKING KNEW IT. AS SOON AS I SAW HE GOT A THEIF TALENT I COULD FEEL THE SOLO LEVELING VIBES IN ME. HE CAN STEAL TALENTS I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! I’m surprised that Neumann didn’t say anything and  Haito seems to be aware of it.  

Edit: Ah okay, I understand a bit now but it almost seems like Haito is the only one aware of Toya’s second talent.

Edit 2: Okay, as much as I love power hungry MC’s I’m really glad they didn’t make Toya into that. I am such a softie for sympathetic and kind MC’s like these even though it’s been done so many times. I’m really glad this didn’t feel like a rehash. I mean, some points some of the stuff Toya says it does but it’s fine, I don’t mind that. I actually gave a crap about him since I usually prefer the side characters (I UNDERSTAND ANON, I CARE ABOUT KOUU SO MUCH AHHHHH) but HAITO?? AHHHHH. 

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I like that Izo always has the same hat in every adaptation he’s in lol. Istg, cats are always op. Schrodinger seems so strong and the parallel universes are my absolute shit. Sometimes I think, in one universe I did this and in this universe I’m not. Would I rather stay in this universe or be in the one where I am actually productive. Usually I pick the productive universe and actually work but sometimes I’m a bit of a slacker haha. I think this is my approach to a lot of things in life. But I digress, I don’t wanna get too deep into my life. 

I can sorta sympathize with the sinners. At least the ripper guy to say the least. I love love love unhinged characters that just want to basically destroy the world or at least have fun. But then you find out- wait they are actually sympathetic oh no. That’s how I felt about Djoser in “im the great priest imhotep” (please...i beg...someone read this...I’m so starved). 

As much as character development and rooting for the hero is cool and all, I just want to simp for the crazy “let’s burn the world to the ground” kinda character. I’m also so glad Toya doesn’t automatically become evil and try and steal everyone’s talents because he does seem like a good person and I really don’t see him suddenly switching fields so when he saved (I don’t remember names I’m sorry), the undead solider it was really nice. Proves that he still has his humanity and isn’t strictly relying on the branch of sin. 

It makes sense that he wants to steal talents since he never had one (and it was kinda out of left field when he killed Vlad and we just never addressed that ever again haha) but to see him actually consider his actions and if he actually want’s to steal his teammates talents feels right to me. Poor guy doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends so this is the first time he’s ever seemed to have companionship, aside from Haito, so I really hope he doesn’t attempt to steal their talents. I think I’m thinking of the slime? That time I got reincarnated as a slime manga/anime. Where he’s the pokemon catcher of skills. I thought that was where it was going. 

But I do kinda like how selfish Haito and Toya’s talent stealing relationship is (I mean, later it develops but my first draft of writing this I wasn’t there yet). I’m not sure if selfish or like self-gratitude/pride is the right word but it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. Rather than Haito trying to contain or “help” Toya’s inferiority she’s actually encouraging it and using her own talent for her own...acknowledgement? Er, yeah let’s go with that. 

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This. This interaction. I love this. Like, genuinely love this. We need more of this. Two people from opposite sides finding some common ground and their fight to the death is less about morals or whose on whose side but for themselves. I love that. This is actually some wholesome stuff. 

Edit: AHHHHH CATCH MY UGLY CRYING IN THE BACK BECAUSE ALL THE “SINNERS” ARE ACTUALLY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IM DEAD. YOU’VE KILLED ME. 

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I KNEW IT! YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THESE KIND OF PEOPLE!! I’m going to slap the whiteboard on this but if I see any “goofy” character I’m immediately sus of them. 

As much as I hate that Hitler is getting drawn as a small child I really like this. I know the whole, oh I killed your friends but I’m letting you go because you express humanity but I’m gonna finish my death with a sympathetic line, can be annoying to people but idk I really liked this. 

Honestly this and the undead soldiers death hit me hard ngl. This manga might not have my favourite art style during some points compared to like main stream manga but it has some really beautiful scenes. 

BOOM CALLED IT, though it’s pretty obvious lol. 

THE PONY TAIL NEVER LIES AND HES DA VINCI IT MAKES SENSE NOW

He looks so cute lol. I like that Seiya has the talent of being talented in everything while Toya has the talent to steal other talents. Seiya can probably only cap his power by his own physical/mental abilities with Toya can pull a solo leveling and go further beyond. Thinking of it like jack of trades vs master of none type deals. Though, I might be thinking too hard on this. I like that this man is actually humble but I really wish there was a tiny bit more to him since we only get this one interaction/backstory but the manga isn’t completed yet. I really hope we get to know about Seiya more;; like how he became da vinci or etc. 

Everytime I see Neumann I look at that comic sans type and it kills me on the inside. But I love that her eyes are 01 just, mwah perfection. These little details that aren’t that big but it’s soooo nice. I also ahem, unhinged character heart be still. It’s really nice reading manga in bursts because you can see the art progression and damn does she look good. 

tiny fang appreciation post. 

ngl i’M HARD SIMPING FOR THIS MAN. It’s the pony tail, I have such a thing for guys with long hair (and this is why genshin broke me) but man the art really picked up here. 

I didn’t get into it but OKITA ANON I GET IT. KOUU??? AHHHH. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE??? As much as his whole “war” was a bit questionable in the beginning and tbh I still don’t really get it I like that he knows he’s not the same as the other Greats but still tries to help the other “sinners” in a way only he knows. That’s why Seiya was so important;; I get that he wanted them to have a fun death and to be understood but idk, the whole war idea and having them kill each other (especially the Hitler fights because I understand the others since they reached some kind of acknowledgement) but nonetheless, what a great guy.

Nightingale gives me mad masaki vibes from chainsawman. I hate them and I can’t wait for you to fail, but the inner part of my is cheering for you because unhinged characters are my shit. I feel really bad for Neumann, I had suspicions she wasn’t actually like that since it’s sooo out of left field but I’m really glad the manga seems to know what it’s doing. I really wish we got more Kouu interactions with everyone tho. 

NOW THIS. THIS IS SOME WHOLESOME STUFF. I WANT THIS. I REALLY WANT SPIN-OFF OF REALLY SAD ANIME/MANGA/STORIES WHERE ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE HANG OUT. That’s how I’m feeling about JJK and the scroll segments or BSD WAN that just came out. IT’S SO WHOLESOME TO SEE EVERYONE NOT TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER. 

UGLY SOBBING IN THE CLUBBB AND KOUU AND CHARLOTTE AHHHH. I hate how this is phrased but the respect I have for Hitler?? YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS TO TYPE?? Kitazuka is cool tho, I really like him. Some god given talent. I’m hard simping over him but I really hope we get to know more about him later. 

Getting smug mona vibes, I love this. 

AHHH IVE NEVER FELT THIS UPSET OVER AN APPLEEEE. I’M ACTUALLY UPSET. IF HE DIES IM ACTUALLY GOING TO CRY MY HEART OUT. 

THE FAMOUS SLAP 

I’M SORRY WHA- SLENDERMAN?

Oh..wow. Okay, be still my heart. When I first saw her I thought she was really pretty but now I’m absolutely smitten. God damn, can I please have some more crumbs on these characters before they die;; 

AHHH SAME GIRL FUCKING SAME????? I adore these small panels and translator notes. It’s a real breather after the sad 3am hours talk these characters go through. 

Yagyuu. Jesus christ. WHY ARE ALL THE DEATH SCENES IN THIS MANGA ACTUALLY SO PRETTY AND STABS ME IN THE HEART??? that’s it. goodbye. im fucking out. im actually so upset rn. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? 

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In conclusion, and I should probably re-read what the characters say and not go off on memory because I’m about to get really deep. I really like how they phrased why they wanted to stop the branch of sin. That there are people just like Toya and Haito who, if they never found the branch of sin, could still probably lead respectable and okay lives. That there was a “them” in another universe that didn’t go down that road and that they want to be in the same universe as “them”. I know this sounds really confusing if you haven’t read the manga but going back to what I said about the parallel universe stuff. 

There was a universe where Toya and Haito didn’t rely on the branch of sin, that even without their talents from becoming a returner, they could still live a happy life given their own personalities and attitudes. It was kinda moving since in the beginning, Toya wanted a talent so badly and now that he has one. He’s realizing that wait, I don’t need a past life talent in order to live. Honestly, I hard relate to that because I totally agree with him. If you have a talent you can probably live a very happy and comfortable life that other factors wouldn’t matter if you just have that incredible talent. Thinking of it as a painter or artist, if you had actual god-given talent you wouldn’t need to worry about other factors since people would naturally seek that talent. So you end up comparing yourself to others and setting that limit on yourself. 

But that’s okay, it’s completely natural and I’m not saying it’s horrible if you do this. Fuck, I do this all the time. I’m not saying the manga is changing my life but it’s kind of refreshing that it get’s talked about since other adaptations of this just make the character super OP. I understand wanting to have that incredible talent, fuck who doesn’t? but you don’t need it in order to live earnestly in the bigger picture sense. Not everything you do has to be productive and honestly, learning to be okay with having fun is nice. Just being okay with who you are right now, even if it isn’t perfect in your eyes, you still have time to build upon yourself and your own talents but doing it for yourself. 

But I probably missed the point and I’m going way to deep haha. But I really enjoyed reading this and thank you once again to okita anon for the recommendation^^ I always love everything you send me and I’ll start reading the next one. If anyone else has any recommendations let me know! 

[volturialice]

1, 15, 16 and 25 thanks

1. Do you listen to music when you write?

Nope! People who can listen to music and still use their brain to do other things impress the hell out of me tbh. My own brain is not wired for that kind of multitasking at all. I have a very cinematic way of thinking, and any time I hear music, my brain automatically creates a detailed music video with lots of imagery for it.* this pretty much kills my ability to write down the [always very separate] imagery I have for my stories if I’m listening to music at the same time.

that said, I do have a few individual songs and playlists for some of my works, that I use as ~inspiration.~ (here’s the one shannon made me to help inspire the rest of the Evil Cullens Jukebox series.) 

I’m always down to share inspirations and whatnot if y’all are curious. and if you ever wanna send me song recs (fic-related or not) I’m always down for that as well!

*this is where Red Line came from, incidentally—it was a music video in my head before it was a fic, not a fic that I then chose accompaniment for

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

Not well, tbh. I usually just switch gears and work on something else, which is why I have like 50k words’ worth of 20+ different WIPs.

But what usually snaps me out of it is reading! I think reading poetry in particular is good for writer’s block, because it forces you to kind of come at language from a different angle and resets your brain a little. 

16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

Uh. Depending on how you define “draft” the answer is either 1 or like 1 million. I’m physically incapable of just writing something, whole cloth, and then coming back and editing it in neat, one-at-a-time passes, because I’m literally always editing my work. It’s why I take so long to finish and post things. I know it’s a problem and I’m working on it, basically. 0/10 do not recommend as an editing method

25.  Favourite part of writing

I’ve said before that it’s when I can really get into a groove and perfectly capture what’s in my brain onto paper, but tbh I love sharing my work just as much! It’s really exciting to me that other people might bring all their own perceptions to it and come away with a different experience of the same piece. Like, that’s so fucking cool to me.

send me writer asks