#the entire gang gathered up 4 this one its a miracle

[oohbuggypie]

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAYYY 🪅🎊🎉 my cake couldn't be printed with Punch Out!! Wii on it so we did the next best thing possible ,,, 😊

everybody marvel at how absolutely HIDEOUS they are and thank Google search engine for providing me with the most evil shots available ✝️

[theimpossiblescheme]

The Rebirth of Lupin III

(I was rewatching Part 4, and this plot bunny took me hostage after watching Episode 14, “The End of Lupin III”.  After what was probably Lupin’s most harrowing near-death fakeout yet, I couldn’t help but wonder about the aftermath, and before I knew it I’d written this.  I hope everyone enjoys it!)

It wouldn’t have been the first time Lupin the Third “died.”  Hell, given his track record, it probably wouldn’t be the last either.  But damn if he hadn’t put on one hell of a show.  Old Pops had been wrapped around his little finger the entire time—the discarded meals, the weakened voice, the repeated talk about the end being near… that final scene with the shared cigarette… the genuine sorrow in Zenigata’s voice, even moreso than all the other times… it was his finest performance yet.

It might also have been his stupidest.

Turned out skipping meals for multiple months, only eating what he absolutely had to in order to finish the painting on the cell floor… that kind of stunt tended to really negatively impact your health.  Go figure. The amount of times he’d blacked out midway through mixing his makeshift paints, or he’d felt the acid from his own empty stomach rising into his throat as he worked… he’d honestly lost count.  Walking made him dizzy, and that last cigarette tasted like nothing so much as burning tar on his lips, even as he forced himself to finish it.  That final scene, hearing his ears ring as Pops spoke and feeling his hands shake under his blanket, really did feel like one.  Empty stage as Lupin collapses before he can even unveil his master plan. Before he can live up to Pops’ faith in him.  Lights out. Curtain.

It had been an honest to God miracle he’d made it farther than that.  Standing to gloat over his victory as Zenigata finally opened the cell made his legs teeter dangerously, and his throat still felt raw, but if he was going to live to see the finale, by God he was going to make it an unforgettable one.  He’d managed to walk away smiling as Pops could do nothing but laugh in hysterical disbelief, and Lupin felt a bit of that hysteria bubbling up in his own lungs, too.  He’d actually pulled it off… damn, somebody up there must really like him.

Somebody out on the bay liked him, too, apparently.  As soon as Rebecca and Robson’s motorboat sped into view, Lupin wasted no time leaping into the water after it.  Finally, another familiar face—even if his limbs felt like they might snap at any moment, he was still going to make it out to them.  To know that Rebecca had made it out alive, that she hadn’t given up on him even after so long.  When she hauled him up into the boat, his head lolled onto her shoulder against her neck, and he noticed her perfume had changed.  Some new label must have sent her fresh samples… she smelled nice, like a fruity cocktail on a summer day…

Rebecca brushed a lock of hair out of his face, and he suddenly became very aware of how long he’d let it get.  “You look terrible,” she said with a very faint smile.

Lupin managed a wheezing chuckle in response.  “Yeah, probably.”

And then he blacked out again.

*

When he came to, he was in an actual bed.  With sheets and a pillow.  What a difference it made on his neck—sleeping on concrete had done him no favors.  On the endtable beside him was a bowl of stew, still hot, and a cup of what smelled like lemon tea.  Not his favorite, but beggars and choosers and all that, and Robson really didn’t have to go to the trouble.  Besides, after so long actively avoiding any food provided him, it smelled goddamn delicious.  Even with his arms and legs still feeling like matchsticks, Lupin still managed to sit up and help himself.  The stew was gone in nothing flat, and the tea was half-finished and cooling by the time Lupin felt strong enough to stand up.  The Rosselini’s guest rooms were comparatively plain next to the rest of the house, but they could still stand up respectably with any of Fujiko’s favorite upscale hotels.  

(Where the hell was Fujiko… or Jigen or Goemon for that matter… best not to think of that right now. He’d only just woken up, after all. There was still time… there was nothing but time now.)

And of course, the décor was hardly the highlight.  Propping himself against the wall, he turned the latch on the window and opened it, letting the morning breeze waft in and the sun warm his face for the second time in God knew how many days.

San Marino was still beautiful.  A jewel too big to pocket, but not too small to admire.  Lupin stood for a long moment drinking in the view before turning to the guest bathroom.

The sight that greeted him there was less than beautiful.  He still had the damn beard and long tangled hair, but that wasn’t the worst of it.  His cheeks had hollowed out into nothing, and his skin had gone so grey and cold from darkness and malnutrition it may as well not be there at all.  A skull framed with dark hair stared back at him from the mirror, and it took all of Lupin’s self-control not to hurl the half-digested stew and tea into the sink.  Of all the times he had to actually almost die, it had to be when he didn’t even look like himself.  A disguise would be one thing—his true face and body would still be underneath—but this…

This wouldn’t do.

Luckily, a razor and shaving cream had been left on the counter for him.  Lupin immediately snatched them up and began to fill the sink with hot water, actually tapping his foot impatiently as it didn’t fill fast enough.  He needed to see his face again, needed to know that it was still him under all this. When the sink was full, he wet the razor and hurriedly slathered the shaving cream across his chin and cheeks, even carelessly getting some into his hair.  This would be fine.  He’d be fine. Good as new, even.

If only his hands would stop freaking shaking…

He lifted the razor to the underside of his chin and instantly felt his hand slip.  A few seconds of panic preceded the bolt of pain as he felt blood drip into his fingers.  Damn it all… dammit dammit dammit, why’d he have to let it go this far?

“Lupin?”

The voice didn’t come from the door, but instead the window.  Lupin barely even processed that before wheeling around, knees weak and face burning with embarrassment.  He couldn’t let anybody see him like this, not even—

“Goemon!”

His samurai still had one leg out the window as he climbed through, but he froze in place upon seeing Lupin framed in the bathroom door.  A hundred different emotions warred in his eyes, and Lupin wanted so badly to run over and hug him before Goemon’s face settled into its usual stoicism. “Is this where you’ve been all this time?”

“Ah… not exactly,” Lupin said sheepishly, reaching a hand to the back of his neck and internally cursing the cold sweat that had gathered in his hair.  “I’m not really sure how long I’ve been here.  Rebecca and her butler came to get me after I got away from Pops.”  Another poor excuse for a chuckle wheezed out of him.  “Lemme tell you… they don’t half kid around locking somebody up here if they want ‘em locked up… it’s a lot worse if you don’t have the key.”

“I can see that.” Goemon finally drew closer, studying Lupin intently.  “You don’t look like you had an easy time of it.”

“Honestly, does anybody have an easy time in prison?  That’s why I try to stay out of it, y’know.”  But it was hard to keep even a weak smile in place, looking at Goemon now… God, he really could have died.  He could have never seen him again, or any of his gang.  Faking a grand exit for the benefit of Interpol, knowing he could return when the coast was clear, was so much different.  And Goemon looked so healthy next to him—he’d even put on a bit of weight for once, which told Lupin that Jigen must have found him a nice Japanese place outside San Marino.  Hell, compared to Lupin’s sorry state, he looked downright beautiful.  It felt like it had been years… Lupin could stand there staring at him for even longer than that.  How must Jigen and Fujiko look at this exact moment?  Were they worried about him?  Were they okay?  All at once, he wished they were all here, together, and that he didn’t look like the freaking Crypt Keeper when he went to greet them.

Goemon reached up and touched Lupin’s cheek with his fingertips, and Lupin tried very hard not to lean into the touch as he had with Rebecca.  “I’m not sure if the beard suits you, though.  Or the long hair.  You look a bit like something else crawled onto your head and died.”

That got a stronger, if extremely wry, smile out of him.  Nice to know both their senses of humor were intact.  “Yeah, not a fan myself… I don’t suppose you could…?”  He raised his eyebrows.

“I’m not using my sword to give you a shave, Lupin.”

“No, not with Zantetsuken, dummy—just use the razor.”  There was the arch, fussy side of Goemon… he had to admit, he’d missed that, too.  Nodding as if he’d understood all along, Goemon picked up the razor and washed away the blood before cupping a hand around the back of Lupin’s neck and letting him lean back as he worked.  His hands were much steadier, almost gentle in their grip, and he was always a few degrees warmer than Lupin himself.  Endless physical exercise would do that, Lupin supposed—ironic, considering how much time he spent under freezing cold waterfalls and out in the snow. Fujiko’s hands were always just on the comfortable side of cold, but she avoided that kind of exertion if she possibly could.

“Where are the other two?” Lupin asked, trying to move his jaw as little as possible so he wouldn’t obstruct Goemon’s work.  “Are they--?”

“They’re both fine.  Fujiko had rented out a beach house on the Italian mainland to wait for you, and Jigen had been spending time at one of the casinos. When I called to let them know you’d escaped, they told me they were on their day—they should be here this evening.”

Thank God…  “So you finally figured out that phone I gave you, huh?”

“I’m not actually from the Sengoku Period, Lupin—I know what a cell phone is and how to use it.” He paused to wash off the razor again, and a very light pink stained his cheeks.  “Fujiko also helped a great deal.  Especially our first night in San Marino.”

“Oh, I’ll bet.”  For once, Lupin hadn’t meant it with any lewd intent, but it didn’t stop Goemon from yanking his head back a trifle harshly as he found a new angle with the razor.  “They’ve gotta be pretty pissed, too… that I took so long.  I know I would be.”

“They’re upset, certainly. But no more than usual for you.” It wasn’t said with any real malice, just as a blunt statement of the truth, but it still stung.  Did it make it any better or worse that for once—out of all the times he’d faked his death—he actually feared it might be for real? Instead of just an act he’d strung them along on for the sake of the greater plan?

Probably worse.  At least all those other times, the plan was to come back.

“I’ll do better next time.” And he really did mean it. Although he’d probably stave off the “next time” for as long as he could—one impregnable prison cell full of rotten uneaten food was enough.  “And I’m definitely not gonna let it go this far.  Believe it or not, the beard isn’t even the worst of it.  With my hands the way they are, I’d hate to think what’ll happen when I need to pee.”

“As long as Jigen doesn’t have to hold you up.”  There was no smile on Goemon’s face, but there was one in his voice.  “And I know for a fact he’ll hold you to that promise.”

Lupin couldn’t help but grimace.  As much as he’d love to see his gunman again… “Yeah, not looking forward to that conversation.  Not just ‘cause I’m gonna bruise like a banana if he punches me.”

“I’ll do my best to separate you.” There was the smile—it softened up the prematurely harsh lines of Goemon’s face as it always did, and Lupin had to remember to keep his head still and resist the temptation to kiss his cheeks until his lips went numb.  Rinsing off the razor again, Goemon tilted Lupin’s head slightly to his right.  “I might be at this for a while—please promise me you’ll never grow a beard again.”

“You got it, man.  And I got all the time in the world.”

[zen3to5]

J/H 3-09: Ice Shack

I decided to set up shop for this project on a side blog.

Originally, this was a one-shot done on the spur of the moment on my main blog after going through the entire series for the first time (well, the entire series up to Season 6). But, now that I'm watching it again from start to finish, I've decided to dip my toe into T7S writing again. And I decided to continue on from my original premise: if Jackie and Hyde's relationship up to "Jackie Bags Hyde" had follow-up in in the rest of Season 3 and Season 4.

I'm well aware I'm not the first person to have that idea, though I can't claim to have read many other examples out there. This is just something I'm doing for fun, and to loosen up my chops writing dialogue and structuring plots. I'm not aiming to "correct" anything in the show as it is. The goal here is to produce something that could realistically have been of the show, given its genre, time period, and time limitations, with just one major aspect (and the resulting ripple effects) changed. Not every episode is getting re-written, and some episodes will only have "B" stories, or even one or two scenes, changed (though the unaltered material will usually be included, for context.) I'm also aiming to reconnect with canon by early Season 5 and end this project there, with the (very slim) possibility of doing an alternate Season 7 finale.

First up: the germ of this idea, my original re-write of 3-09, "Ice Shack." It's been slightly altered from what I originally wrote, partially due to reconsidering dialogue, partially due to trying to adhere to restrictions of time and structure, and partially because, now that this is an ongoing project, certain things are best saved for later.

FF.Net AO3

---

SHOW TITLE   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT   The gang has just finished a round of poker. HYDE is in his chair, ERIC, DONNA, and JACKIE share the couch, KELSO is in the lawn chair, and FEZ is in the hoppity hop. Everyone else groans as HYDE laughs triumphantly and scoops the pot up into his arms.   Kelso and Fez exit out the basement door, grumbling. Jackie rises and gathers up her coat.   JACKIE: Goodnight, Steven.   HYDE: Whatever.   Jackie stares at Hyde for a moment as he counts his money, then exits. On the couch, Eric and Donna watch Hyde and trade whispers with one another.   Hyde rises, gathers his coat, and makes for the door.   HYDE (cont’d): Alright, I’ll see you later.   Donna nudges Eric lightly. He nods and looks up to face Hyde.   ERIC: Hey, why don’t you go ahead and sit back down there, Hyde? We’ve gotta have a little talk with you, mister.   He points to Hyde’s chair, and Donna nods. Hyde gives them a long look, and Eric gives an insistent look back. Hyde shrugs and sits down. Eric and Donna inch across the couch to get closer to him, and Donna reaches a hand out and places it on Hyde’s knee.   DONNA: Okay, Hyde...is there anything you want to tell us about your date with Jackie on Veteran’s Day?   HYDE: (beat) Okay, bye-bye.   He stands again, but Eric and Donna stand too, and push him back into his chair.   HYDE (cont’d): Whatever, man. So we went on a date. So?   DONNA: “So?” Hyde, she stalked you for weeks, you went to jail for her, and when you two finally went out, neither of you said anything about it.   HYDE: (shrugs) Nothing to say.   DONNA: But Hyde, if anything happened, then the whole group is -   HYDE: Nothing happened. (they stare) Nothing happened.   DONNA: Okay, so, that’s it? It was a dud date, and it’s all over?   HYDE: Yeah. I mean... yeah. Well... yeah.   ERIC: (beat)  Hyde...   HYDE: What? She said she didn’t feel anything, so -   DONNA: Wait - she said she didn’t feel anything?   Donna and Eric both break into matching grins and lean in. Hyde shifts in his chair.   HYDE: (beat) Oh, no. You got it all wrong, man. So she thought the kiss was -   DONNA: Oh my god, you kissed?   ERIC: The horror!   Donna and Eric gape at Hyde, who jumps to his feet.   HYDE: Hey! Listen to me - I don’t like Jackie! I only took her on that date to shut her up about all this fantasy hero-worship crap she’s been on! Nothing happened, and there’s nothing to say about it!   ERIC: Oh...well, you know... (reaches out to take Hyde’s hand) In Point Place, they say that Steven Hyde's heart grew three sizes that day.   Hyde yanks his hand free and storms out of the basement, while Eric and Donna fall against each other, laughing.

MAIN CREDITS   BUMPER   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - DAY   The next morning. Hyde sits in his chair eating oatmeal. Eric and Donna, dressed for winter, sit on the couch. They stare at Hyde and grin. As Hyde raises a spoonful toward his mouth, he stops, but doesn’t turn to face Eric and Donna. They keep staring. Hyde resumes eating but pauses again with the next spoonful. Eric and Donna keep grinning at him. Hyde finishes his bite, but when they still won’t stop, he shoves his spoon into his oatmeal and turns to face them.   HYDE: This is going in both your faces. I swear to God.   DONNA: I can’t believe it. Tough, trouble-making Steven Hyde - no ties, no girlfriends - gets a crush on Jackie Burkhart.   She cracks up as she says the name, and she and Eric lean their heads against each other as they laugh.   HYDE: Get bent, I do not.   ERIC: Yeah, Donna, ease up. It’s gotta be a tough time for our boy here. What with the broken heart, because... Jackie didn’t feel anything.   Donna starts laughing again. Hyde flings some oatmeal Eric’s way, and he dodges it.   ERIC (cont’d): I dunno, Donna. Someone might have beat us to the draw on the bedroom this weekend.   HYDE: What are you talking about?   DONNA: The trip to Kelso’s uncle’s cabin. Didn’t he tell you? We’re leaving any minute.   A horn honks off-screen. The three share looks and head upstairs.   CUT TO:   EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY - DAY   Kelso is standing in front of his van, parked with its back facing the road. He paces and rubs his hands together. Hyde, Eric, and Donna come outside through the kitchen.   KELSO: (to Eric, Donna) Hey. So, you guys ready to go?   HYDE: Kelso, man, what the hell? You didn’t tell me about this trip?   Kelso looks as if he just noticed Hyde was there.   KELSO: Oh. I’m sorry, Hyde. I forgot.   HYDE: Well, so long as there’s beer, I forgive you. (claps Kelso’s shoulder) Let’s go.   KELSO: Wait, Hyde. You can’t come.   HYDE: Why not?   Kelso hesitates, then steps around Hyde to reach Eric and Donna.   KELSO: Okay, I might as well let you in on my master plan here. See, what this whole trip is about is a romantic double date, with you two, me, and Jackie.   ERIC: Okay, see, Kelso - double dates usually work better when the second couple are actually dating.   KELSO: So, it’s a secret double date. I told Jackie the whole gang was coming, but I didn’t invite Hyde or Fez. (to Hyde) No offense.   DONNA: I’m out.   She and Eric both turn to head back inside, but Kelso moves to block their way.   KELSO: No, I need you guys! Look - I wanna win Jackie back. I love her, I miss her...and I’ve been getting, like, nothing from Laurie lately.   Donna rolls her eyes, Eric grins, and Hyde fumes. Kelso ignores them all.   KELSO (cont’d): And, Eric and Donna, you guys are, like, the perfect couple, so if you’re there, I can just copy all the sissy, loser things that Eric does, and I’m gold!   ERIC: (to Donna) I mean - he asks so nicely, how could we refuse?   DONNA: Kelso, I am not doing this!   KELSO: Oh, come on! You guys get a romantic weekend out of it, and I’ll have tons of beer! We won’t even need a refrigerator 'cause it’s so freaking cold! (crosses to Hyde) Oh, but I need to grab the beer and gas on the way, so... I kinda need it back.   He holds out his hand.   HYDE: You need what back?   KELSO: You know...my money.   HYDE: What money?   KELSO: My money from the poker game last night.   HYDE: Kelso, that’s my money.   KELSO: No, it’s mine! I brought it!   HYDE: And you lost it!   KELSO: Well, since when does losing it to you in a poker game make it your money?   Hyde stares, and Eric and Donna roll their eyes.   HYDE: Okay - fine, Kelso. I’ll pay for this trip - with my money - on one condition: I come too.   KELSO: What? No, Hyde! That throws off my whole plan! Why do you want to come anyway?   ERIC: Yes, Hyde - why do you want to come?   HYDE: (beat) Kelso, all your master plans are stupid and blow up in your face. I could spend my poker winnings on beer and Playboys, but those are there every weekend. Watching you crash and burn - that’s something special, man. And I don’t wanna miss it.   KELSO: (beat) Alright, you’re in.   Kelso, laughing, moves to the front of the van, with Eric following. Hyde and Donna linger by the back. Donna takes a few steps toward Hyde.   DONNA: Hyde - you really do care about her, don’t you?   Hyde shifts on his feet.   HYDE: No... but do you wanna go through all that again? (doing Jackie) “Oh my god, you’re so beautiful, Michael!” (doing Kelso) “Oh my god, you’re so beautiful, Jackie!” (doing Jackie) “But you cheated with Laurie and Pam Macy - you’re such a dirty dog!” (doing Kelso) “Well damn, Jackie! What do you expect from a shallow, stupid man-whore?”   DONNA: (laughing) Well, deny it all you want - this is the sweetest I think I’ve ever seen you. But I think it’s good for Jackie that she’s on her own right now. So please tell me you’re not gonna use this trip to crawl all over her too.   HYDE: I told you - she didn’t feel anything.   Donna sighs and reaches out to rub Hyde’s shoulder.   DONNA: Ugh, I can’t believe Kelso. And what about poor Fez? We’re leaving him all alone this whole weekend.   HYDE: Actually, I think he’ll be fine. He had some plans.   CUT TO:   INT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY   A packed theater sits back to enjoy a special screening of WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY. Pan across the first row until we arrive on FEZ, munching away at popcorn and chocolate. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open.   FILM (aud. only):  Who can take a sunrise (who can take a sunrise) Sprinkle it with dew (sprinkle it with dew) Cover it with choc'late and a miracle or two...   Fez sits up straight and sings out, as loud as he can...   FEZ & FILM:  The Candy Man! Oh, the Candy Man can!   Everyone sitting around Fez glares at him. He smiles apologetically and slumps back down into his seat.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM - DAY   LAURIE sits on the couch in her bathrobe. She watches TV and sips at a mug of coffee. KITTY enters through the kitchen door. Seeing Laurie, she sucks in a deep breath and puts on a hard smile.   KITTY: Good afternoon, sunshine. We missed you at lunch. And breakfast. And dinner last night.   LAURIE: Yeah...I would’ve made it, but it interfered with my plans to not spend more time in this dump than I have to.   KITTY: (laughs) So, ah - what do you have planned for the day?   LAURIE: Same as every day. Lie here, do my nails, avoid talking to you. It’s not going that well so far.   Kitty crosses to turn off the TV. Laurie makes a hollow gesture of protest, but doesn’t stir from her spot as Kitty joins her on the couch.   KITTY: Honey, you’ve done nothing but party all night and sleep all day for months.   LAURIE: Oh, come on, Mom.   KITTY: Oh, not “come on.” Sweetie, I’m worried about you. The way you’re going, you’re going to end up like...like Aunt Martha.   Laurie sits up straight.   LAURIE: You think I’ll end up like Fat Martha? With the beer gut?   KITTY: The poor woman couldn’t even play putt-putt.   Laurie stands.   LAURIE: I can’t believe you’d say that about your own daughter! And I can’t play putt-putt either, but only because it’s really hard to get it in the hole!   She storms upstairs. Kitty picks up the coffee mug she left behind.   KITTY: Not a problem anyone’s ever had with you, I’m sure.   CUT TO:   EXT. LAKESIDE - DAY   Hyde and Eric unload the van as Donna, Kelso, and JACKIE stand back and take in the small, rickety ICE SHACK sitting on top of the frozen lake. Kelso grins, while the girls look incredulous.   DONNA:  This is your uncle’s cabin?   KELSO: Yeah...now that we’re here, I guess I can tell you that part too. It’s more of an ice shack.   JACKIE: It’s an outhouse!   Kelso crosses over to a large metal barrel just outside the shack.   KELSO: No, this is the outhouse. And the hot tub.   The girls glare. They join Eric and Hyde on their way back to the van, but Kelso walks after them.   KELSO (con’d): It’s for fishing. My uncle comes out here all the time! It’s gonna be a blast. Just us, in this beautiful snow. And we can catch all the fish we want!   HYDE: So, on the ride back from this weekend in Hell, we can enjoy the smell of dead fish the whole way home? Oh, boy!   Jackie moves to Hyde’s left, as far from Kelso as she can get. Donna takes a step closer to Eric.   DONNA: It’s kind of cold.   ERIC: Oh, here - take my jacket.   He shrugs his jacket off and drapes it over Donna’s shoulders.   DONNA: I love you!   ERIC: God, were are such the...   They both turn to look at Kelso.   ERIC (cont’d): ...Perfect couple.   Kelso rolls his eyes. Jackie shivers.   JACKIE: I’m cold, too.   KELSO: Well, damn, Jackie, I can’t control the weather!   He notices Eric and Donna glaring at him, and the lights click on. He makes a big show of taking his jacket off and presenting it to Jackie. It is now her turn to roll her eyes.   JACKIE: Forget it. Donna, let’s go inside.   DONNA: (to Eric) How does that sound to you, honey?   ERIC: I think that sounds like a great idea, sweetie.   DONNA: Oh my God, let’s go!   The two of them link hands and follow Jackie towards the ice shack. Kelso starts to follow, but Jackie holds up a hand to stop him.   JACKIE: You’re not coming in.   KELSO: What? Jackie, it’s freezing out here!   ERIC: Well, Kelso, you can always warm yourself up in the hot tub toilet.   He drums lightly on the rim of the barrel. He disappears inside the shack with Donna. Jackie lingers in the doorway and looks at Hyde, still by the van.   JACKIE: Steven, are you coming?   HYDE: In a bit. Think I’ll fumigate the van for a little while first.   JACKIE: Won’t you be cold?   HYDE: I don’t feel anything.   He and Jackie look at each other. Jackie breaks away first, disappearing inside the shack and closing the door behind her. Kelso crosses over to Hyde and scoffs.   KELSO: Man, can you believe this? I mean, what’s the point of bringing Eric and Donna along if copying all his dorky moves doesn’t work?   HYDE: Yeah, man. It’s almost as if pretending to be someone you’re not is a bad idea.   KELSO: I know, right? I mean, that’s impossible, but it’s so close to what’s happening here.   Hyde sighs, claps Kelso on the shoulder, and pulls him along as he steps into the van.   BUMPER   INT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY   WILLY WONKA continues. The “PURE IMAGINATION” song plays off-screen. Fez is now chewing a piece of bubble gum. As the song’s first three chimes sound, he blows a bubble. On the second three chimes, he sucks the bubble back in his mouth. He repeats this pattern two more times, the bubble getting larger and larger each time, until...   CUT TO:   The bubble blows up, becoming a pink BUMPER.   FEZ (v.o.): Ai!   FADE TO:   INT. ICE SHACK - EVENING   The shack is even dirtier looking on the inside, with various pieces of fishing gear and winter clothing adorning the rough walls. Benches surround three sides of a square cut in the ice. Eric and Donna share the right bench, while Jackie sits on the center one. Eric has a fishing line in the water.   ERIC: (flat) Boy, ice fishing’s fun. Don’t you just love it here, Donna?   DONNA: Oh, Eric... it doesn’t matter where we are. It’s being together that makes it fun.   ERIC: You’d rather be anywhere else, wouldn’t you?   DONNA: Literally anywhere. You know me so well.   ERIC: Eskimo kiss!   They start nuzzling noses. Jackie looks on in disgust.   JACKIE: What the hell is with you two today?   Eric drapes an arm around Donna, and they both smile at Jackie.   ERIC: Oh, didn’t Kelso tell you? We’re the... (with Donna) Perfect couple.   JACKIE: Yeah - perfectly nauseating!   ERIC: Well, if you don’t like what you see in here, missy, there’s some beautiful scenery and a wind chill near 10 just waiting for you outside.   JACKIE: At least you’re better company than Michael. God, can you believe that idiot? Who drags all their friends to small, smelly shack like this? I don’t even think we can fit everyone in here!   ERIC: (flat) Oh, no. How could Kelso make such a terrible mistake?   Jackie pouts and looks at the door.   JACKIE: What’s keeping Steven?   ERIC: Oh, a little worried about “Steven,” are we?   Donna swats his chest playfully, and he withdraws his arm from her shoulder.   DONNA: Jackie, we were talking earlier how it’s a little strange you didn’t have anything to say after your date with Hyde.   JACKIE: I didn’t think there was anything to say. I mean, at the time, I thought it was the most romantic moment of my life. Steven was jealous, he defended my honor, he took me out... but when we got to the kiss, there just wasn’t anything there.   ERIC: Wait, so - Hyde can’t french? Well, that is just so good to know.   JACKIE: It wasn’t that, idiot. Steven said he didn’t feel anything either... but only after I said I didn’t feel anything. And just now, when I asked him if he was cold, he said it again. But not like he really didn’t feel anything. More like he was upset.   ERIC: Jackie, to be fair, we’re sitting in a shack we were told was a cabin, with a trash can just outside that’s going to be our toilet and bath for the whole weekend. “Upset” covers pretty much everyone right now.   JACKIE: Oh my God... oh my God, Donna! What if Steven did feel something? And he just covered it up because he’s vulnerable and afraid and thinks no one would ever love him because he’s so poor? Steven!   She rises and starts for the door, but Donna reaches out to take her sleeve. Jackie sits back down.   DONNA: Okay, Jackie, slow down. Ever since you and Kelso broke up, you’ve been all over the place with guys.   JACKIE: But Donna, I have to talk to Steven. What if -   DONNA: Listen, Jackie. Okay, so maybe you go talk to him, but I’m just saying – maybe some time alone would be good for you.   ERIC: Yeah, Jackie. At least until you find your... (puts his arm back around Donna) Perfect couple.   DONNA: (laughs) Yeah. (beat) And, you know. After that, too. Sometimes.   ERIC: What do you mean?   DONNA: Well, Eric, I love you, but I need some time for me too.   ERIC: Yeah, but that’s not what you’re talking about. You’re talking about time to yourself as in, not being with anyone. Are you saying you’d want a break from... from us?   DONNA: Eric, it’s not a big deal. I mean, you need some time to yourself too. It’s not like we go everywhere together. We don’t go to the bathroom together.   ERIC: (voice breaking) Well, we’ll have to up here, lady! We don’t have a choice!   CUT TO:   INT. VAN - EVENING   Concurrent with the previous scene. A CIRCLE is in progress, starting on Hyde.   HYDE: Man, Kelso, I am so happy I’m not in your shoes right now. Every part of your plan - the trip, the cabin, copying Forman - has backfired. This was such a good way to blow that poker money!   Pan to Kelso.   KELSO: Jackie just doesn’t know how much fun ice fishing is. I was out here for four days with my uncle once. He fell in the ice, lost all his fish, and woke up a hibernating bear. I laughed my ass off! And I’m tired of everyone ragging on the shack. It’s cozy.   Pan to Hyde.   HYDE: Kelso, “cozy” is sharing a bed, or a couch, or the back seat of a Lincoln. If you want to get down and dirty in a place that’s down and dirty, you gotta be up-front about it.   Pan to Kelso.   KELSO: You’re just not thinking about what you can do when you throw a cot over the ice hole and... wait. Jackie drives her dad’s Lincoln...   Pan to Hyde.   HYDE: Yeah, well, that’s... whatever. Look, Kelso - why do you even wanna do this, man? You’re still with Laurie, and Jackie’s moving on. Seeing other people. And some of them are pretty cool. Can’t you just give her a break?   Pan to Kelso.   KELSO: Man, it’s just not the same with Laurie. I mean, I know Jackie. I understand Jackie. And... wait. You’re one of the cool guys who saw Jackie!   The Circle is broken. Hyde and Kelso stare at each other from opposite ends of the back of the van.   HYDE: What?   KELSO: Yeah, you took her on that date on Veteran’s Day!   HYDE: No I didn’t.   KELSO: You so did! And you’re keeping me in here, when I could be in there doing it!   HYDE: You moron! Did you forget Forman and Donna are in there?   KELSO: You did it with her in the Lincoln, didn’t you? Man, you don’t do that with another guy’s girl! That was where we used to do it!   HYDE: We didn’t do it! And Jackie’s not “your girl” anymore!   KELSO: Well, is she yours?   HYDE: She’s nobody’s, man! She said it herself, the kiss meant nothing!   KELSO: (gasps)  You’re dead, Hyde!   Kelso launches himself across the van at Hyde, and the two begin wrestling. Hyde strikes Kelso in the head right as the van begins to rock violently. The boys stop their fight, look at each other, and bolt for the exit.   CUT TO:   EXT. ICE SHACK - EVENING   The door to the shack opens, and Eric, Donna, and Jackie spill out just as Hyde and Kelso leap out of the back of the van. Hyde’s sunglasses are crooked and he holds his right hand in his left. Kelso has his right hand over his right eye. The cracking sound continues.   ERIC: You guys, what happened?   KELSO: I don’t know. All of a sudden, the van just started shaking!   HYDE:  “All of a sudden?” You jumped me, you tool!   DONNA: Uh...guys?   Everyone turns to watch as Kelso’s van slowly sinks into the ice. Kelso looks horrified, while the others seem torn between anger and schadenfreude.   A splash of water shoots up as the van begins sinking quicker. Everyone takes a step back. Kelso looks around pleadingly, to no avail. The van disappears beneath the water.   HYDE: Man, this master plan just keeps getting better and better. For me.   JACKIE: (to Kelso) Michael, what “master plan?”   KELSO: Who cares, Jackie? I’m losing my van!   Jackie pouts at Kelso as he stares at the hole where his van used to be. Hyde rubs his right hand, and Eric and Donna glare at each other.   FADE TO BLACK   COMMERCIAL   BUMPER   INT. ICE SHACK - NIGHT   Later that night. Donna sits on the right bench alone, while Jackie and Hyde share the left bench. Donna has her arms crossed, and Jackie watches while Hyde holds a cold beer can to the knuckles of his right hand.   Someone bangs on the door.   KELSO (v.o.): Okay guys, I’m getting really tired of being kicked out of my shack!   No one even looks up.   ERIC (v.o.): Donna? Honey? I think this is enough alone time for one night, okay?   DONNA: (stands) Can it, you dill holes!   She sits back down.   JACKIE: God, how could Michael think this would win me back? After all the crap he did, it’d take a ski trip to Aspen before I’d even consider letting him touch me again.   HYDE: You mean you’d consider it at all?   JACKIE: (beat) No. Why, do you care?   HYDE: Whatever.   They look away from each other. Another knock comes to the door.   ERIC (v.o.): Okay, we’re gonna go for help, but just so you know - Kelso’s already talking about sharing warmth, and I don’t know how long this walk is, so you just think about that during your alone time, missy!   Donna, Jackie, and Hyde all share looks of disgust.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM - NIGHT   Kitty paces behind the couch nervously while RED sits in his chair, reading the paper. Laurie enters from the stairs.   LAURIE: Alright, I’m here. Let’s get this over with.   She throws herself down on the couch.   KITTY: Good evening to you too. Honey, we feel that you need some direction in your life.   RED: (not looking up) And by we, she means her.   Kitty scowls at Red before turning back to Laurie.   KITTY: Laurie, you have no future ahead of you, and you have nothing in your life right now. Just look at how you spent today. You sat around, watched TV, and drank all your father’s beer.   RED: (looks up) And in the future, Laurie - always save one beer for Daddy.   LAURIE: (to Kitty) Look, will you get off my back? I have a plan for my future, all right? Find a guy who’s loaded and get married.   KITTY: You? Married? I think you left out the part about the unexpected pregnancy and the quickie divorce for your fiancé!   RED: See, Kitty? She has it all worked out. She’ll find someone who’s nice, and... not Kelso. Someone who can take care of her.   LAURIE: Exactly! (beat) But - Daddy, I could have a career of my own if I wanted, right?   RED: (beat) Well, sure. I just don’t want you to set yourself up for... like what happened at the college. If you set the bar too high, the fall might be... you’re just so pretty!   KITTY: Oh, I give up.   She storms upstairs. Red stands.   RED: Kitty, wait! (to Laurie) Here’s five dollars.   He slips her a five and runs after his wife. Laurie stares at the money and sighs.   The doorbell rings. Laurie stands and crosses to the door. She opens it to reveal Fez, his face and hair a sticky pink mess of bubble gum.   LAURIE: What the hell happened to you?   FEZ: Please don’t laugh. They all laughed. The audience, the usher, the ticket boy... even the Oompa-Loompas seemed to mock me with their doompaty-doo-doo.   Laurie bites her finger to keep back a laugh.   FEZ (cont’d): I cannot get the sticky out! Help me, please?   LAURIE: (shrugs) Well, at least someone’s day sucks worse than mine. Get in here.   She takes Fez by the shoulder and pulls him inside. She struggles to get her hand free. Once she does, she lightly pokes him in the back with one finger to guide him into the kitchen.   CUT TO:   INT. ICE SHACK - NIGHT   Donna stands and looks out the window. Hyde and Jackie still share the left bench. Hyde now drinks his beer, while Jackie holds his right hand and examines his knuckles.   JACKIE: What I don’t understand, Steven, is why you’d even come on this stupid trip if you didn’t care about what Michael was up to.   HYDE: Have you been sleeping? Gilligan screws up less than Kelso. This is prime-time entertainment here - with beer.   He holds up his can and takes a sip.   JACKIE: Then why did you keep Michael outside instead of watching him try something with me? And – (holds up Hyde’s hand) What were you two fighting about in the van?   HYDE: (beat) Boy, Forman’s sure been gone a long time, huh, Donna?   DONNA: Yeah. I hope he’s okay. But what did he have to get so worked up for? I’m with him. I love him. Why can’t he see that “time alone” for me doesn’t mean “time broken up from him?”   HYDE: Come on, Donna. Give him a break. Forman’s still in shock you’re even with him. So just ‘cause he’s a little insecure, you leave him out there with Kelso? I don’t know what that guy meant by “sharing warmth,” but whatever it is, Forman’s not gonna like it.   DONNA: (laughs) Okay, maybe that was a little much. (looks back to window) I wish they’d get back soon.   JACKIE: (to Hyde) And what about your insecurities, Steven? Did you or did you not feel something after our date?   HYDE: Does it matter? You didn’t feel anything.   JACKIE: Well...   HYDE: 'Well?' What do you mean, 'well?' You're gonna tell me you did feel something now?   JACKIE: (beat) Ugh, I don’t know anymore! Everything is a mess! Michael’s still after me, Fez was after me, I was after you but you didn’t want me, then I thought I didn’t feel anything with you and you said you didn’t either but I think you did, and Donna says I should take a break and be alone even though I don’t want to be, and I’m wet and hungry and I hate the smell of dead fish!   Jackie throws Hyde’s hand away, screams, and buries her face in her hands. Hyde turns to look at her.   HYDE: All right, fine, Jackie. You wanna know? I feel...   He looks to Donna, who shakes her head.   HYDE (cont’d): I feel... I feel like Donna’s right, man. All this crap with Kelso and Fez and... forget it, man. Take some time for yourself.   Donna gives a small nod. Jackie looks to Hyde.   JACKIE: Is that all you feel?   HYDE: No... I feel like I busted my hand on Kelso’s head.   Donna laughs as Hyde bends down to put his hand on the ice.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM - NIGHT   Red leads Kitty back down the stairs.   RED: Now, try not to worry so much, Kitty. Laurie’s just our little girl, after all.   KITTY: She was a little girl ten years ago, Red. She is a woman, and that woman is going to end up with a beer gut and gout.   Red sighs. He takes Kitty over to the couch, and they both sit down.   Laurie bursts in from the kitchen.   LAURIE: (to Kitty) Okay, look. The reason I haven’t done anything with my life is because I didn’t know what I wanted to do.   KITTY: Well, sweetie, the post office has a dental plan that’s -   LAURIE: Shhh! But earlier tonight, something happened that made me realize my passion: hair!   KITTY: (beat) The musical?   LAURIE: No! (she tugs on her hair) Hair! Look!   She steps to the right of the kitchen door and holds out her hands in presentation. Fez steps out, with a short, closely-cropped hairstyle. All trace of gum is gone. He stands with his hands on his hips and a very satisfied expression.   LAURIE (cont’d): Fez had an accident, and I fixed it! And when I thought about it, I could see that this is where all my talents were! Mom, Daddy - I’m going to beauty school!   KITTY: This isn’t something you do through the mail, is it?   LAURIE: No. It’s a real school!   KITTY: Oh. Well... yay!   She starts applauding.   RED: Congratulations, sweetheart!   LAURIE: Thanks, Daddy! (to Fez) Come on, Fez. Let me practice a manicure on you, and I’ll introduce you to my easy friend Susanne.   Fez grins, and lets Laurie usher him back into the kitchen.   RED: So, Kitty, what do you think?   KITTY: Eh.   RED: Yeah.   He turns on the TV, and they settle down on the couch.   CUT TO:   INT. ICE SHACK - NIGHT   Everyone is still in their same places. A knock sounds at the door. Donna hurries to unlock it. Eric is waiting outside, his cheeks and nose red with the cold and frost caked in his hair.   DONNA: Oh my God. Are you all right?   ERIC: Oh, yeah. Three-mile walk to the nearest rest stop, three miles back, snow, wind chill, Kelso trying to cuddle the whole way. No big deal.   Donna cups his head in her hands and kisses him.   DONNA: Eric, I’m sorry.   ERIC: (beat) Me too. (gestures over his shoulder) One of the truckers offered us a ride. He’s waiting outside.   DONNA: My hero.   ERIC: Perfect couple?   They share another Eskimo kiss, gather up their things, and head outside. Jackie and Hyde stand. As Jackie collects her bag, Hyde takes his jacket off and puts it around her. She looks at him.   HYDE: (shrugs) You looked kind of cold.   JACKIE: Thank you.   She briefly places a hand on his cheek. They get their things and head outside.   CUT TO:   EXT. ICE SHACK - NIGHT   Kelso is standing right by the doorway of the shack as Hyde and Jackie leave. He notices Hyde’s coat around Jackie, and that the two are walking closely together and smiling at one another. He gasps in shock.   FADE TO BLACK   CREDITS   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT   Fez, in his new haircut with Eric’s bathrobe over his clothes and Red’s hat in his hands, dances around the basement while “I’VE GOT A GOLDEN TICKET” plays on the record player. He uses a pool cue as a cane.   RECORD (aud. only): I never dreamed that I would climb Over the moon in ecstasy But nevertheless, it’s there that I’m shortly about to be   ‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket I’ve got a golden chance to make my way And with a golden ticket, it’s a golden day!   END.

[dfroza]

A time of the end

yet, it is a cleansing of evil from beautiful earth that will take place to restore purity.

this is written of in Paul’s ancient Letter of 2nd Thessalonians with Today’s reading for the start of Winter (2020)

Chapter #2:

Since, brothers and sisters, we are on the topic of the coming of our Lord Jesus the Anointed and how we will all gather together to meet Him, we ask that you don’t let your minds get quickly rattled or become anxious because of someone else’s so-called “spiritual revelation” or because someone gave you a message or claimed to know of a letter allegedly from us reporting that the day of the Lord has already come! Don’t be deceived by anyone! That day, that amazing day, won’t come until after the great rebellion and the unveiling of the rebellious one. As the spawn of death, he delights in destruction. He sets himself up as the great adversary of God and vies for a place above all other so-called gods or objects of worship. If it were possible, he would even take a seat—yes, exalt himself—in the temple of the one true God, declaring that he himself is God! 5 Don’t you remember me telling you all this the last time we were together? You know what restrains him now and what will hold him until the exact time when he will be revealed. For the mystery of sin is already working its way through the world; He who holds him back now will continue to suppress him only until He is pulled out of the way. It is then that this rebellious one will be finally unleashed. But the Lord will slay him with the breath of His mouth; and with the splendor of His coming, He will bring him to his predetermined end. Still the rebellious one arrives with all sorts of power, performing signs and fake miracles sanctioned by Satan; he employs every manner of wicked deception to wile away those who are destined for eternal death because they reject the love of the truth that leads to salvation. Because of this, God sends a deceptive influence over them so they will wander from the truth and believe the lie. As a result, God will judge all of those who did not entrust themselves to the truth when it faced them but instead reveled in wickedness.

But this is not you, dearly beloved brothers and sisters of the Lord. We cannot help but thank God for you at all times, because from the beginning He handpicked you for salvation through the Spirit’s sanctifying work and your belief in the truth. He called you to this when we shared our good news with you. Now you can take part in the glory of our Lord Jesus the Anointed, our Liberating King. So, brothers and sisters, all you need to do now is stand firm and hold tight to the line of teachings we have passed on to you, whether in person or in a letter. Now may our Lord Jesus (the Anointed One Himself) and God our Father (who has loved us, comforted us eternally, and given us a good hope by His grace) bring comfort to your hearts and strengthen your wills to accomplish every good work and word.

The Letter of 2nd Thessalonians, Chapter 2 (The Voice)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 16th chapter of 2nd Kings that documents the idolatry of a king who turned away from the True God our Creator:

[Ahaz of Judah]

In the seventeenth year of Pekah son of Remaliah, Ahaz son of Jotham became king of Judah. Ahaz was twenty years old when he became king and he ruled for sixteen years in Jerusalem. He didn’t behave in the eyes of his God; he wasn’t at all like his ancestor David. Instead he followed in the track of the kings of Israel. He even indulged in the outrageous practice of “passing his son through the fire”—a truly abominable act he picked up from the pagans God had earlier thrown out of the country. He also participated in the activities of the neighborhood sex-and-religion shrines that flourished all over the place.

Then Rezin king of Aram and Pekah son of Remaliah king of Israel ganged up against Jerusalem, throwing a siege around the city, but they couldn’t make further headway against Ahaz.

At about this same time and on another front, the king of Edom recovered the port of Elath and expelled the men of Judah. The Edomites occupied Elath and have been there ever since.

Ahaz sent envoys to Tiglath-Pileser king of Assyria with this message: “I’m your servant and your son. Come and save me from the heavy-handed invasion of the king of Aram and the king of Israel. They’re attacking me right now.” Then Ahaz robbed the treasuries of the palace and The Temple of God of their gold and silver and sent them to the king of Assyria as a bribe.

The king of Assyria responded to him. He attacked and captured Damascus. He deported the people to Nineveh as exiles. Rezin he killed.

King Ahaz went to meet Tiglath-Pileser king of Assyria in Damascus. The altar in Damascus made a great impression on him. He sent back to Uriah the priest a drawing and set of blueprints of the altar. Uriah the priest built the altar to the specifications that King Ahaz had sent from Damascus. By the time the king returned from Damascus, Uriah had completed the altar.

The minute the king saw the altar he approached it with reverence and arranged a service of worship with a full course of offerings: Whole-Burnt-Offerings with billows of smoke, Grain-Offerings, libations of Drink-Offerings, the sprinkling of blood from the Peace-Offerings—the works. But the old bronze Altar that signaled the presence of God he displaced from its central place and pushed it off to the side of his new altar.

Then King Ahaz ordered Uriah the priest: “From now on offer all the sacrifices on the new altar, the great altar: morning Whole-Burnt-Offerings, evening Grain-Offerings, the king’s Whole-Burnt-Offerings and Grain-Offerings, the people’s Whole-Burnt-Offerings and Grain-Offerings, and also their Drink-Offerings. Splash all the blood from the burnt offerings and sacrifices against this altar. The old bronze Altar will be for my personal use.

The priest Uriah followed King Ahaz’s orders to the letter.

Then King Ahaz proceeded to plunder The Temple furniture of all its bronze. He stripped the bronze from The Temple furnishings, even salvaged the four bronze oxen that supported the huge basin, The Sea, and set The Sea unceremoniously on the stone pavement. Finally, he removed any distinctive features from within The Temple that were offensive to the king of Assyria.

The rest of the life and times of Ahaz is written in The Chronicles of the Kings of Judah. Ahaz died and was buried with his ancestors in the City of David. His son Hezekiah became the next king.

The Book of 2nd Kings, Chapter 16 (The Message)

my personal reading of the Scriptures for monday, december 21 of 2020 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible, along with Today’s Psalms and Proverbs

A post by John Parsons about this week’s Torah reading by Jews around the world:

Shavuah Tov, friends, and happy holidays (despite the inanity of this world). In our Torah reading for this week (Vayigash, i.e., Gen. 44:18-47:27) we read about Joseph’s dramatic revelation of his identity to his long lost brothers. Recall that Benjamin had been falsely accused of stealing the Viceroy’s chalice and was arrested and brought before Joseph for immediate judgment. Judah then “drew near” (vayigash) and offered to bear the penalty for his brother, pleading with Joseph to spare his aged father the loss of yet another son. Joseph was so moved by Judah’s act of mesirat nefesh (self-sacrifice) that he decided the time had finally come for him to reveal his identity to his brothers. After clearing the room, he began speaking in Hebrew and said, אֲנִי יוֹסֵף הַעוֹד אָבִי חָי / ani Yosef, ha’od avi chai / “I am Joseph; is my father alive?” When the brothers drew back in dismay, Joseph said, “Draw near to me, please” (from the same verb nagash) and explained how God providentially brought him to Egypt to save the family’s life....

The revelation of Joseph and his reconciliation with his brothers is a prophetic picture of the acharit hayamim (end of days) when the Jewish people will come to understand that Yeshua is indeed the One seated at the right hand of the majesty on high as Israel’s Deliverer. At that time Yeshua will speak comforting words to His long lost brothers and restore their place of blessing upon the earth. Indeed, the entire story of Joseph is rich in prophetic insight regarding our Lord and Savior. Vayigash (וַיִּגַּשׁ) means “and he drew near,” referring first to Judah’s intercession for the sins of his brothers, and then to Joseph’s reciprocal desire for the brothers to draw near to him (Gen. 44:18, 45:4). Joseph initiated the reconciliation by saying, גְּשׁוּ־נָא אֵלַי / ge’shu na elai - “Please draw near to me,” and indeed there is a play on the verb nagash (נָגַשׁ), “draw near,” throughout this story. Yeshua is depicted both in Judah’s intercession (as the greater Son of Judah who interceded on behalf of the sins of Israel) and in Joseph’s role as the exalted Savior of the Jewish people in time of tribulation. When Joseph disclosed himself and asked, “Is my father alive,” we hear Yeshua evoking the confession of faith from the Jewish people: “I am Yeshua: do you now understand that My Father is alive?” Upon His coming revelation, all Israel will confess that indeed God the Father is “alive” and has vindicated the glory of His Son. [Hebrew for Christians]

12.20.20 • Facebook

and another post that points to the significance of Hebraic History and the revelation of the Son:

At Sinai we heard the voice of God (קוֹל אֱלהִים) speaking from the midst of the Fire (Deut. 4:33), an event that foreshadowed the great advent of the King and Lawgiver Himself, when the Eternal Word (דְבַר־יְהוָה) became flesh and dwelt with us (Phil. 2:6-7; John 1:1,14). Any theology that regards God as entirely transcendent (i.e., God is beyond any analogy with the finite) will have a problem with divine immanence (i.e., God is inherent and involved within the finite), since the highness, holiness, and perfection of God will make Him seem distant, outside of us, far away, and unknown... Incarnational theology, on the other hand, manifests the nearness of God to disclose the divine empathy. Indeed, the LORD became Immanuel (עִמָּנוּ אֵל), "God with us," to share our mortal condition, to know our pain, and to experience what it means to be wounded by sin, to be abandoned, alienated, forsaken. It is God’s own bittul hayesh (בִּטּוּל הַיֵּשׁ) - his self-nullification for the sake of love and truth. The “Eternal made flesh” bridges the gap between the realm of Ein Sof (אין סוף), the infinitely transcendent One, and the finite world of people lost within their sinful frailty. Of course we believe Adonai Echad (יְהוָה אֶחָד) - that the "LORD is One" - both in the sense of being exalted over all things but also in the sense of being compassionately involved in all things (Rom. 11:36). We therefore celebrate the giving of the Torah both at Sinai and especially at Bethlehem with the birth of Messiah. We celebrate that God is indeed the King and Ruler over all, but we further affirm that God's authority and rule extends to all worlds - including the realm of our finitude and need...

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, the climax of Sinai was the revelation of the Sanctuary. The two tablets of the law, summarizing the Ten Commandments, were stored inside the famous Ark of the Covenant (אֲרוֹן בְּרִית־יְהוָה), a sacred "three-in-one" box placed in the innermost chamber of the Tabernacle called the Holy of Holies (קדֶשׁ הַקֳּדָשִׁים). As such, the Ark served as kisei ha-kavod (כִּסֵּא הַכָּבוֹד), the Throne of Glory itself. Upon the cover (or crown) of the Ark (i.e., the kapporet) were fashioned two cherubim (i.e., angel-like figures) that faced one another (Exod. 25:17-18). According to the Talmud (Succah 5b), each cherub had the face of a child - one boy and one girl - and their wings spread heavenward as their eyes gazed upon the cover (Exod. 25:20). It was here that God's Voice would be heard during the Yom Kippur service, when sacrificial blood was sprinkled upon the crown to symbolize the atonement of sin secured through Messiah, the Word that became flesh for us... In the very heart of the Sanctuary, then, we see the Word of God and the sacrficial blood.

The LORD God Almighty was clothed with human skin: our flesh, our bones... The miracle of the incarnation is the Absolute Paradox, as Kierkegaard said, wherein the infinite and the finite meet in mystery of the Divine Presence. Here God "touches a leper," eats with sinners and prostitutes, sheds human tears, and suffers heartache like all other men... The gloriously great God, the very Creator of the cosmos, has "emptied Himself" to come in the form of a lowly servant (δοῦλος) - disguised to the eyes of the proud and hardhearted, but is revealed as High Priest to those who are genuinely broken and in profound need. The LORD God is God over all possible worlds, and that includes both the celestial realms of the heavens but also the world of the fallen, the ashamed, the alienated, and the lost... God's infinite condescension reveals and augments the majesty of His infinite transcendence. There is no world - nor ever shall there be such - where the LORD God Almighty does not reign and have preeminence.

Do not suppose that the Torah of Moses does not teach “incarnational” theology. Since God created human beings in his image and likeness, the “anthropomorphic language” of Scripture is meaningful. The LORD reveals himself in human terms - using human language, expressing human emotions, and so on, as it says: Moses spoke to God panim el panim - “face to face” (Deut. 34:10). The Torah always has to take on human form - the Word made flesh - for the sake of human beings who live in flesh and blood reality...

The greatest expression of God’s word is found in the Presence of Yeshua. This is the Word of God that “tabernacles” with us, full of grace and truth (John 1:14). Yeshua is the “Living Torah,” Immanuel (עִמָּנוּ אֵל), “God with us,” who enters our world to rescue us from death. Our Scriptures state that "in these last days God has spoken to us by his Son, whom He appointed the Heir of all things, through whom also He created the worlds" (Heb 1:2). Note that the Greek construction for the phrase translated, "by his son" is ἐλάλησεν ἡμῖν ἐν υἱῷ, which literally means "he spoke to us in Son" -- that is, in the language or voice of the Son of God Himself... God speaks the language "of Son" from the midst of the fire revealed at Zion. "Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe (μετὰ αἰδοῦς καὶ εὐλαβείας) - for our God is "Esh Okhelah" - a Consuming Fire" (Heb. 12:28-29). [Hebrew for Christians]

https://hebrew4christians.com/

12.20.20 • Facebook

Today’s message from the Institute for Creation Research

December 21, 2020

Origin of the Races

“These are the families of the sons of Noah, after their generations, in their nations: and by these were the nations divided in the earth after the flood.” (Genesis 10:32)

This is the concluding verse of the tenth chapter of Genesis, known as “The Table of Nations.” It tells us that all the original nations of the world were formed from the descendants of Noah. The basis of this worldwide division was their dispersion at Babel (Genesis 11:9), “every one after his tongue, after their families, in their nations” (Genesis 10:5; see also 10:20 and 10:31). Lest anyone think this list of original nations is simply folklore, he should remember that William F. Albright, probably the greatest archaeologist of the 20th century, called it “an astonishingly accurate document.” Many ethnologists still speak of Japhetic, Hamitic, and Semitic peoples and languages.

But what about the origin of races? One searches the Bible in vain for this information, for neither the word nor the concept of “race” appears in the Bible at all! There is no such thing as a race—except the human race! Skin color and other supposed racial characteristics are mere recombinations of innate genetic factors, originally created in Adam and Eve to permit development of different family characteristics as the human race was commanded to multiply and fill the earth (Genesis 1:28; 9:1).

“Race” is strictly an evolutionary concept used by Darwin, Huxley, Haeckel, and the other 19th-century evolutionists to rationalize their white racism. But from the beginning it was not so! “God that made the world and all things therein;... hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth” (Acts 17:24, 26). “Have we not all one father? hath not one God created us? why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother?” (Malachi 2:10). HMM

[thevueindiatours]

11 MOST FAMOUS FESTIVALS IN INDIA YOU SHOULD SEE TO BELIEVE

India is a land of festivities. With hundreds of different communities living together in harmony, the country hosts one or more festivals every month. Full of colours, enhanced by rituals, and offering spectacular visuals, festivals and fairs in India reflect the Indian philosophy of joyous living and togetherness.

Among the various extravagant festivals in India, let us take a look at some of the most famous festivals in India:

1. Dev Deepavali

The auspicious day of Kartik Purnima or the first full moon in the month of November is celebrated in North India by lighting a million (yes, a million!) of oil lamps on the ghats (riverbanks) of Varanasi.

Decorated idols of deities are taken out on the street in a procession and the lamps sparkle under the starry sky at night. The sight is just unbelievable! Also known as Ganga Mahotsav (grand festival of the Ganges), Dev Deepavali is the grandest spectacle in North India.

2. Durga Puja

��Poojo’ (the worship), as it’s adoringly called in West Bengal, Durga Puja is the grandest festival in India. The roads of Kolkata and its outskirts are lit up with decorative lights, theme-based pandals (temporary temples) are erected to show the creative might of Bengali artisans and the ten-handed idol of Goddess Durga is worshipped by an entire community.

The festival marks the celebration of feminine power and the triumph of good over evil. People from all over the world come to Kolkata to witness the idols and pandals even throughout the night. Held over the span of a week, Durga Puja is the most extravagant festival you may ever behold.

Read more: https://www.vueindiatours.com/blog/varanasi-the-holy-land-of-miracles-and-tales/

3. Dussehra

Dussehra is the last night of Navratri, the nine nights of worshipping the goddess of power. This festival is the North Indian counterpart of Durga Puja. Devotees keep fasts and celebrate the end of the festival to appease the goddess.

 This grand event is marked by shooting a symbolic arrow at the head of the effigy of demon king Ravana and burning it to the ground. The Ramlila Maidan in Delhi hosts the largest fair to celebrate this auspicious occasion.

Explore The Rich Heritage And Culture Of India

   4. Holi

Black words on a white screen cannot do justice to describing the colourful frenzy of Holi. The festival of colours is celebrated across India. People smear each other with colours and dance in the joy.

Originally, the festival is dedicated to commemorate the love of Lord Krishna and his beloved Radha. The holy cities of Mathura and Vrindavan, which are famous for being the birthplace of Krishna, host the best celebration of Holi with thousands of devotees and locals enjoying to their heart’s content.

5. Pushkar Camel Fair

Seven days of colourful exhibition and celebration of Rajashtani folk culture are the highlights of Pushkar Camel Fair. Pushkar is a holy city in Rajasthan and its lake is a popular pilgrimage for Hindu devotees.

This traditional carnival is famous for being the largest gathering of cattle, especially camels. Apart from trading cattle, the fair is famous for its rural Olympics, longest moustache competitions, camel race, magic shows, and cultural performances.

Also read: https://www.vueindiatours.com/blog/8-amazing-cultural-fairs-festivals-of-rajasthan-that-are-a-colorful-visual-treat/

 6. Ganesh Chaturthi

The spectacular festival of Ganesh Chaturthi is dedicated to the famous ‘elephant God’ Lord Ganesha. Communities in Mumbai worship the god’s idols and celebrate with various traditional rituals.

 The highlights of this celebration are the vibrant processions of thousands of people who carry the idols to the Arabian Sea and immerse it with great joy.

 7. Rath Yatra

Juggernaut – the English word has been derived from the name of Lord Jagannath. The meaning of the word juggernaut comes from the processions of huge chariots carrying the lord and his siblings amidst a sea of millions of devotees each year.

The Rath Yatra (journey of the chariots) takes place in the month of August and is one of the most celebrated Hindu festivals in the world.

8. Rann Utsav

Rann is the name of the white sand desert in the state of Gujarat. From October to February, the desert is transformed into a tent city with dozens of tented complexes hosting thousands of visitors.

Cultural performances by folk singers and dancers enthral the spectators. An array of activities await the tourists including horse riding, camel riding, bird watching, traditional dances, different games, giant chess, and para-motoring.

9. Kumbh Mela

Kumbh Mela, dedicated to the worship of Lord Shiva, is where millions of devotees take the ritual dip in the holy rivers of Yamuna, Ganges, Godavari and Shipra.

The only festival that can be observed from space, the largest congregation of human kind takes place at a cycle of 12 years at four riverside pilgrimages in India.

 10. Onam

The soulful culture of Kerala reflects itself in its festivals. Onam, the main festival of Malayalis – the natives of Kerala, is observed each year in August-September.

Boat races, tiger dances, pokkalam (colourful flower decoration), folk music and dance, and Indian martial arts – all mark the traditional festival in Kerala.

 11. Pongal

Dedicated to the Hindu sun god – Surya, the festival of Pongal is celebrated in Tamil Nadu. Marking the end of harvest season on the winter solstice, families gather in public to make a traditional dish by boiling rice, mixing milk and jaggery with it.

The literal translation of ‘pongal’ is ‘to boil and overflow’. People from all walks of life offer prayers to the sun god at home and in temples, exchange gifts to mark a day of joy and togetherness.

Read more: Top 10  https://www.vueindiatours.com/blog/top-10-unesco-world-heritage-sites-in-india/

Indians just need an excuse to celebrate. When one festival ends, they look forward to the next one with greater fervour. If you want to experience Indian festivals with luxury and comfort, get in touch with us.

[syriafreenews]

Factory of lies

Turkey does not abandon its attempts to destabilize the situation in the west of Syria, as well as to realize its plans to expand its controlled territories. At the same time, Ankara is working in several directions. One of them is the constant provocation of radical groups in Idlib to resume clashes in order to justify a military operation against them. Another direction, of course, is more risky, but if successfully implemented, it will not only expand the Turkish occupation zone, but also give Turkey weight in the international arena. Its essence is to accuse Damascus of violating the ceasefire by provocations, false videos and photos of materials, paid false articles in both local and international media. Thus, Turkey will create the ground for a small but victorious counterattack on the position of government troops. According to Ankara, while another Astana (or Nursultan in a new way) is gathering on the fact of the resumption of hostilities between the Syrian army and Turkish-controlled militants, significant territories in the north-west of Idlib will have to go under the control of the Turks.

And it is worth noting that similar work, on the provocations of government forces, and the Turkish offensive in the media is already underway. So, on May 3 and 4, pro-Turkish gangs fired on Damascus-controlled territories in northwestern Syria, trying to provoke government troops into mutual actions. There is information that, to fix the return fire of the Syrian Arab Army, journalists from Turkish news agencies were invited to the area of ​​the militant position. However, the provocation did not take place, as the government troops showed miracles of endurance and composure, and did not become part of the plans of the pro-Turkish militants. But provocations from the opponents of Damascus did not end there.

So, on May 9, the Syrian opposition resource Baladi News, which, oddly enough, is funded from Turkey, released another piece of information garbage. It consists in the fact that on May 9, 2020, the government troops of the SAR and the pro-Iranian Hezbollah formed an attempt to break through to the settlements of Maarat and Seracab. The Syrian national army located in this region was able to maintain its position and repel the attack. After a failed attack on settlements, artillery shelling was carried out. According to a source from the government forces, one officer died and 10 were injured. The fact that this news is nothing but another fake proves several facts at once. Firstly, during the holidays no military operations are carried out. But it seems that the Syrians have no holiday this day. They do not, but the Russians, without whose aviation and artillery support the Syrian Arab Army is trying not to fight, this day was a great holiday for Russia. Usually on such days, their command prohibits the conduct of any military operations. The second fact, indicating the falsity of the information provided by Baladi News, is that the artillery attack occurred after the attack, which was allegedly repulsed by pro-Turkish militants. According to all laws of military affairs, an artillery strike is carried out before the start of the attack, and not after it, in order to destroy the enemy’s fortifications and inflict maximum damage to the defenders. Thirdly, what is doubtful is the number of those killed - one officer? Are they serious? If there was a serious battle, then the attackers would lose much more people. This is a military law. Moreover, the deceased officer. And yet, no one else died. Even in the Turkish army, ordinary fighters go forward, and officers lead from far away. Well, the last fact - where are the photos and videos from the battlefield? There is not a single photograph of the killed or wounded, there are not even frames of the consequences of the attacks on the village. Obviously, during a similar time, the entire Internet was already flooded with the video of Assad’s aggression, but apart from the pro-Turkish Baladi News and a few dubious anti-government sources, no one wrote or said anything about this. Somehow strange.

Summing up, it is worth noting that the intention to destabilize the situation in the north of Syria is forcing pro-Turkish militants to take various dubious steps. At the same time, the “tricks” used by gangs controlled by Ankara have long been studied by the Syrian army, and it’s not so easy for Syrians to buy news from a publication that has been compromised for a long time by a lie factory operating in Turkey.

[cynthiajayusa]

Your Guide to Spring Movies

Spring in South Florida means warm, sunny days and cool nights. It’s the last few months where us Floridian’s can go outside, enjoy next to no humidity and not be drenched in sweat the moment you open your front door. Whether you prefer to spend your time indoors or outside soaking up the sun, I have your definitive guide to what to watch from blockbuster movies to the most talked about TV shows, they are all listed below:

MOVIES:

Grab a cocktail, some popcorn and get ready to spend those rainy spring evenings inside with these upcoming blockbusters.

MARCH:

Sherlock Gnomes

Join these adorable garden gnomes and their garden ornament friends in a new animated adventure featuring the legendary Sherlock Gnomes. In the heart of London, gnomes are disappearing from the gardens. Gnomeo and Juliet join forces with the great Sherlock Gnomes and Watson to discover what is behind the mystery.

Starring: Johnny Deep, Emily Blunt, James McAvoy

Release Date: March 23rd

Isle of Dogs

When a young boy loses his canine companion, what lengths will he go to to get him back? Follow him as he travels to Japan to find his pup!

Starring: Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson, Edward Norton

Release Date: March 23rd

Unsane

A young woman is involuntarily committed to a mental institution, where she is confronted by her greatest fear–but is it real or a product of her delusion? Find out when this thriller hits theaters.

Starring: Claire Foy, Joshua Leonard, Jay Pharoah

Release Date: March 23rd

Midnight Sun

The film follows 17-year-old Katie Price, sheltered since childhood with a life-threatening sensitivity to sunlight. Katie’s world opens up after dark when she ventures out to play her guitar for travelers. One night, she meets Charlie whom she has secretly admired for years. She hides her condition from him, and the two embark on a uniquely powerful romance.

Starring: Bella Thorne, Patrick Schwarzenegger, Tiera Skovbye

Release Date: March 23rd

I Kill Giants

Barbara Thorson struggles through life by escaping into a fantasy life of magic and monsters in this dramatic thriller.

Starring: Zoe Saldana, Imogen Poots, Jennifer Ehle

Release Date: March 23rd

Ready Player One

In Steven Spielberg’s newest sci-fi action film, the creator of a virtual reality world called the OASIS dies, he releases a video in which he challenges all OASIS users to find his Easter Egg, which will give the finder his fortune.

Starring: Letitia Wright, Olivia Cooke, Hannah John-Kamen

Release Date: March 29th

All I Wish

Follow an aspiring fashion designer as she struggles to find success and love in this comedy. The story cuts into her life once a year, always on the same date: her birthday.

Starring: Sharon Stone, Tony Goldwyn, Ellen Burstyn

Release Date: March 30th

The Last Movie Star

An aging, former movie star is forced to face the reality that his glory days are behind him. On its surface, this drama is a tale about faded fame, but at its core, it’s a universal story about growing old.

Starring: Burt Reynolds, Ariel Winter, Clark Duke

Release Date: March 30th

Status Update

Ross Lynch stars as Kyle Moore, a teenager who after being uprooted by his parents’ separation and unable to fit into his new hometown, stumbles upon a magical app that causes his social media updates to come true.

Starring: Ross Lynch, Courtney Eaton, Olivia Holt

Release Date: March 30th

APRIL:

A Quite Place

A family lives an isolated existence in utter silence, for fear of an unknown threat that follows and attacks at any sound.

Starring: Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Noah Jupe

Release Date: April 6th

You Were Never Really Here

A traumatized veteran, unafraid of violence, tracks down missing girls for a living. When a job spins out of control, Joe’s nightmares overtake him as a conspiracy is uncovered leading to what may be his death trip or his awakening.

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Dante Pereira-Olson, Larry Canady

Release Date: April 6th

Blockers

Three parents try to stop their daughters from having sex on Prom night in comedy.

Starring: Kathryn Newton, John Cena, Leslie Mann

Release Date: April 6th

Chappaquiddick

This dramatic, historical thriller depicts Ted Kennedy’s involvement in the fatal 1969 car accident that claims the life of a young campaign strategist, Mary Jo Kopechne.

Starring: Kate Mara, Olivia Thirlby, Clancy Brown

Release Date: April 6th

The Miracle Season

After the tragic death of star volleyball player Caroline “Line” Found, a team of dispirited high school girls must band together under the guidance of their tough-love coach in hopes of winning the state championship.

Starring: Helen Hunt, Tiera Skovbye, Erin Moriarty

Release Date: April 6th

Beirut

A U.S. diplomat flees Lebanon in 1972 after a tragic incident at his home. Ten years later, he is called back to war-torn Beirut by a CIA operative to negotiate for the life of a friend he left behind.

Starring: Rosamund Pike, Jon Hamm, Shea Whigham

Release Date: April 11th

Truth or Dare

A harmless game of Truth or Dare among friends turns deadly when someone — or something — begins to punish those who tell a lie or refuse the dare.

Starring: Lucy Hale, Violett Beane, Tyler Posey

Release Date: April 13th

Overboard

A spoiled, wealthy yacht owner is thrown overboard and becomes the target of revenge from his mistreated employee in this remake of the 1987 comedy.

Starring: Anna Faris, Swoosie Kurtz, Eva Longoria

Release Date: April 13th

Krystal

A young man living a sheltered life develops a crush on a stripper and joins her Alcoholics Anonymous group just so he can be in the same room with her.

Starring: Nick Robinson, Rosario Dawson, Grant Gustin

Release Date: April 13th

Super Troopers 2

When a border dispute arises between the U.S. and Canada, the Super Troopers are tasked with establishing a Highway Patrol station in the disputed area.

Starring: Emmanuelle Chriqui, Rob Lowe, Lynda Carter

Release Date: April 20th

Avengers: Infinity War

The Avengers and their allies must be willing to sacrifice all in an attempt to defeat the powerful Thanos before his blitz of devastation and ruin puts an end to the universe.

Starring: Chadwick Boseman, Letitia Wright, Danai Gurira

Release Date: April 27th

I Feel Pretty

A woman struggling with insecurity wakes from a fall believing she is the most beautiful and capable woman on the planet. Her new confidence empowers her to live fearlessly, but what happens when she realizes her appearance never changed?

Starring: Amy Schumer, Michelle Williams, Emily Ratajkowski

Release Date: April 27th

The Week Of

The parents of a soon-to-be married couple make the final preparations for the wedding ceremony.

Starring: Adam Sandler, Steve Buscemi, Chris Rock

Release Date: April 27th

Traffik

A couple off for a romantic weekend in the mountains are accosted by a bike gang. Alone in the mountains, Brea and John must defend themselves against the gang, who will stop at nothing to protect their secrets.

Starring: Paula Patton, Missi Pyle, William Fichtner

Release Date: April 27th

MAY:

Tully

Marlo, a mother of three including a newborn, is gifted a night nanny by her brother. Hesitant to the extravagance at first, Marlo comes to form a unique bond with the thoughtful, surprising, and sometimes challenging young nanny named Tully.

Starring: Mackenzie Davis, Charlize Theron, Mark Duplass

Release Date: May 4th

The Seagull

An aging actress named Irina Arkadina pays summer visits to her brother Pjotr Nikolayevich Sorin and her son Konstantin on a country estate. On one occasion, she brings Trigorin, a successful novelist, with her. Nina, a free and innocent girl on a neighboring estate, falls in love with Boris Trigorin. As Trigorin lightly consumes and rejects Nina, so the actress all her life has consumed and rejected her son, who loves Nina. The victims are destroyed while the sophisticates continue on their way.

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Elisabeth Moss, Annette Bening

Release Date: May 11th

Life of the Party

When her husband suddenly dumps her, longtime dedicated housewife Deanna turns regret into re-set by going back to college – landing in the same class and school as her daughter, who’s not entirely sold on the idea. Plunging headlong into the campus experience, the increasingly outspoken Deanna — now Dee Rock — embraces freedom, fun, and frat boys on her own terms, finding her true self in a senior year no one ever expected.

Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Julie Bowen, Debby Ryan

Release Date: May 11th

The Untitled Deadpool Sequel

After surviving a near fatal bovine attack, a disfigured cafeteria chef (Wade Wilson) struggles to fulfill his dream of becoming Mayberry’s hottest bartender while also learning to cope with his lost sense of taste. Searching to regain his spice for life, as well as a flux capacitor, Wade must battle ninjas, the yakuza, and a pack of sexually aggressive canines, as he journeys around the world to discover the importance of family, friendship, and flavor – finding a new taste for adventure and earning the coveted coffee mug title of World’s Best Lover.

Starring: Morena Baccarin, Ryan Reynolds, Josh Brolin

Release Date: May 18th

Book Club

Four lifelong friends have their lives forever changed after reading 50 Shades of Grey in their monthly book club.

Starring: Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen

Release Date: May 18th

Solo: A Star Wars Story

During an adventure into a dark criminal underworld, Han Solo meets his future copilot Chewbacca and encounters Lando Calrissian years before joining the Rebellion.

Starring: Emilia Clarke, Donald Glover, Woody Harrelson

Release Date: May 25th

JUNE:

Trading Paint

A veteran race car driver and his son, a fellow driver, overcome family and professional conflicts, balancing competition, ego, resentment and a racing nemesis to come out stronger on the other side.

Starring: John Travolta, Michael Madsen, Rosabell Laurenti Sellers

Release Date: June 1st

Ocean’s 8

Debbie Ocean gathers a crew to attempt an impossible heist at New York City’s yearly Met Gala.

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway

Release Date: June 8th

Hereditary

When Ellen, the matriarch of the Graham family, passes away, her daughter’s family begins to unravel cryptic and increasingly terrifying secrets about their ancestry. The more they discover, the more they find themselves trying to outrun the sinister fate they seem to have inherited as it slowly destroys everything they know.

Starring: Toni Collette, Gabriel Byrne, Alex Wolff

Release Date: June 8th

Incredibles 2

Bob Parr (Mr. Incredible) is left to care for Jack-Jack while Helen (Elastigirl) is out saving the world.

Starring: Catherine Keener, Samuel L. Jackson, Holly Hunter

Release Date: June 15th

Gotti

The story of mafia crime boss John Gotti and his son.

Starring: John Travolta, Spencer Rocco Lofranco, Kelly Preston

Release Date: June 15th

Tag

A small group of former classmates organize an elaborate, annual game of tag that requires some to travel all over the country.

Starring: Leslie Bibb, Annabelle Wallis, Jeremy Renner

Release Date: June 15th

TV:

No matter if you’re looking to find your new tv addiction or are waiting for the new season of your favorite show, we’ve got you covered. Here are the most talked about premieres and returning favs for you to binge watch all spring long!

New Shows:

Krypton

This Superman prequel series from David S. Goyer (Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice) and Ian Goldberg (Once Upon a Time) is set decades before the destruction of Superman’s titular home planet.

When to Watch: March 21st on SciFi; 10pm

Station 19

Untitled until late January, this spinoff from Shonda Rhimes’s long-running medical soap, Grey’s Anatomy, focuses on the crew of a Seattle fire station. The ensemble includes Jaina Lee Ortiz, Jason George, Grey Damon, Barrett Doss, and Miguel Sandoval, and you can expect to meet some or all of them on an episode of Grey’s prior to tonight’s two-hour premiere of the new show.

When to Watch: March 22nd on ABC; 9pm

Barry

This HBO comedy from Bill Hader and Silicon Valley’s Alec Berg stars the former as a depressed hitman who embarks on a career change after discovering an acting class. Hader will also direct several of the eight episodes. Joining him in the cast are Stephen Root, Henry Winkler, Sarah Goldberg, and Glenn Fleshler.

When to Watch: March 25th on HBO; 10:30pm

Trust

The 1973 kidnapping of John Paul Getty III—the subject of Ridley Scott’s recent movie All the Money in the World—is also the focus of this FX drama

When to Watch: March 25th on FX; 10pm

The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling

The beloved comedian, who died suddenly in 2016, is the subject of a two-part documentary by Judd Apatow. The four-and-a-half-hour film chronicles Shandling’s childhood, personal life, and career—from stand-up to Tonight Show guest host to star of his own acclaimed cable series It’s Garry Shandling’s Show and The Larry Sanders Show.

When to Watch: March 26th on HBO; 8pm

Rosanne

Why get excited about the debut of the 10th season of a hit TV sitcom? Because the previous new episode aired in May of 1997. That episode—the original series finale—will be ignored, by the way, since it killed off a major character and changed much about the series that preceded it. That means that virtually the entire cast can return, including Roseanne Barr, John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and Sarah Chalke, though the latter will play an entirely different character. Returning co-stars Johnny Galecki, Estelle Parsons, and Sandra Bernhard will also make an appearance. Two new episodes air tonight.

When to Watch: March 27th on ABC; 8pm

Splitting Up Together

Suburgatory creator Emily Kapnek returns to ABC with her latest single-camera comedy, an adaptation of a Danish series. The rom-com stars Jenna Fischer and Oliver Hudson as a couple whose divorce winds up re-igniting their relationship. Ellen DeGeneres is among the producers.

When to Watch: March 27th on ABC; 9:30pm

Alex, INC.

The first season of Gimlet Media’s hit podcast StartUp provides the source material for this new workplace/family comedy from former Scrubs producer Matt Tarses. Here, he reunites with the star of that series, Zach Braff, who plays a veteran radio journalist who quits his job to launch a new podcast company. Braff also directs the pilot, and his fellow cast members include Michael Imperioli and real-life tech industry venture capitalist Chris Sacca.

When to Watch: March 28th on ABC; 8:30pm

Rapture

This eight-part miniseries from Mass Appeal focuses on the lives of hip hop stars including Nas, T.I., 2 Chainz, Logic, G-Eazy, and more.

When to Watch: March 30th on NetFlix

A Series of Unfortunate Events

The middle books in Daniel Handler’s popular Lemony Snicket children’s series come to life in this second of three planned seasons, once again produced and directed (in part) by Barry Sonnenfeld and written by Handler himself. Joining returning stars Neil Patrick Harris and Patrick Warburton are newcomers Nathan Fillion, Tony Hale, Lucy Punch, and Sara Rue.

When to Watch: March 30th on NetFlix

Jesus Christ Superstar Live!

Rocker Alice Cooper stars as King Herod, while John Legend plays Jesus and Sara Bareilles is Mary Magdalene.

When to Watch: April 1st on NBC; 8pm

The Crossing

From the creators of MTV’s Scream comes this mysterious thriller about a group of refugees from a war-torn country who seek asylum in a small American fishing town. Where are the refugees from, you ask? That’s the mysterious part: The refugees are from America, and the war they are fleeing doesn’t take place for another 250 years.

When to Watch: April 2nd on ABC; 10pm

The Last O.G.

Produced and co-created by Jordan Peele, this Tracy Morgan vehicle (originally developed for FX, and delayed from its originally scheduled fall 2017 launch on TBS) finds the former 30 Rock star playing an ex-con attempting to readjust to the outside world after spending 15 years in prison. Tiffany Haddish, Cedric the Entertainer, and Ryan Gaul also star.

When to Watch: April 3rd on TBS; 10:30pm

National Treasure: Kiri

Follow-up to the acclaimed UK miniseries National Treasure (which also streamed on Hulu) tells a completely different story, focusing on the abduction of a young black girl just prior to her adoption by a white family.

When to Watch: April 4th on HULU

Jersey Shore Family Vacation

MTV has reunited the original ruckus housemates (except for Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola) who are now in different stages of their lives.

When to Watch: April 5th on MTV; 8pm

Paterno

Al Pacino stars as the late Penn State football coaching legend in an HBO film that examines the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse scandal. Barry Levinson directs a cast that also includes Riley Keough, Kathy Baker, and Greg Grunberg.

When to Watch: April 7th on HBO; 8pm

Trading Spaces

The popular home makeover series returns after a 10-year absence, beginning with a reunion special. The reunion will be followed in the coming weeks with new episodes that blend returning designers and carpenters (including Doug Wilson, Hildi Santo-Tomas, Vern Yip, Ty Pennington, and Carter Oosterhouse) with new talent. Paige Davis returns as host.

When to Watch: April 7th on TLC; 9pm

Elton John: I’m Still Standing – A Grammy Salute Special

This musical special pays tribute to Sir Elton John.

When to Watch: April 10th on CBS; 9pm

53rd Academy of Country Music Awards

Watch as some of the best country artists perform.

When to Watch: April 15th on CBS; 8pm

My Partner Knows Best

One of Hollywood’s most outrageous couples, Jason Biggs and Jenny Mollen, host this new relationship comedy game show. Tune in to see how well married couples know one another as they compete in a series of hilarious challenges based on real-life relationship obstacles.

When to Watch: April 25th on Lifetime; 10pm

2018 Billboard Music Awards

Watch some of the hottest artists perform their hits and see who walks away a winner!

When to Watch: May 20th on NBC; 8pm

Dietland

This adaptation of Sarai Walker’s best-selling 2015 feminist revenge fantasy comes from Marti Noxon (UnREAL, Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce) and stars Joy Nash as a ghostwriter for a New York fashion magazine against a rather timely backdrop where men accused of sexual assault are mysteriously disappearing and then turning up dead. Julianna Margulies also stars.

When to Watch: June 4th on AMC; 9pm

American Woman

This 1970s-set, half-hour dramedy stars Alicia Silverstone as a single mother trying to raise two children during the rise of feminism—a story based on the real-life childhood of Kyle Richards (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills).

When to Watch: June 7th on Paramount; 10pm

Marvel’s Cloak and Dagger

Freeform’s first Marvel series focuses on two teens (Olivia Holt, Aubrey Joseph) who are linked by newfound superpowers.

When to Watch: June 7th on Freeform; 8pm

72nd Annual Tony Awards

Celebrating the best of Broadway!

When to Watch: June 10th on CBS; 8pm

2018 MTV Movie & TV Awards

All the stars show up and show out for these annual awards!

When to Watch: June 18th on MTV; 9pm

Yellowstone

Kevin Costner makes his debut as a TV series regular in this new drama written and directed by Taylor Sheridan (Wind River, Sicario). Costner plays a modern-day rancher dealing with a variety of issues stemming from occasionally violent conflicts with land developers and a neighboring Indian reservation

When to Watch: June 20th on Paramount; 9pm

Returning Shows:

The Americans

The critic favorite kicks off its final season, which will wrap up the story of the “Jennings” family with 10 episodes that jump forward in time three years to 1987. Joining the cast is Scott Cohen (Gilmore Girls).

When to Watch: March 28th on FX; 10pm

Empire

This fan favorite will have you wanting more from episode 1 of the new season!

When to Watch: March 28th on FOX; 8pm

Nobodies

Moves to Paramount from Spike for its second season, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar joins the cast.

When to Watch: March 29th on Paramount; 10pm

Scandal

Moves to a later time.

When to Watch: March 29th on ABC; 10pm

Real Housewives of Potomac

Sit back and watch all the drama unfold!

When to Watch: April 1st on Bravo; 10pm

Legion

The X-Men-related FX series from Fargo creator Noah Hawley picks up the action a year later for this slightly longer (at 10 episodes) second season. Joining the Dan Stevens-led returning cast is Homeland’s Navid Negahban (who takes over as Farouk from Aubrey Plaza, though she also returns).

When to Watch: April 3rd on FX; 10pm

Real Housewives of New York City

Bethenny and the rest of the ladies return to take a bite out of the big apple!

When to Watch: April 4th on Bravo; 9pm

Fear the Walking Dead

Season 4 of the Walking Dead spinoff will incorporate multiple changes under new showrunners, especially in the cast. Lennie James moves over from the main series, and he’s joined by new faces in the form of Jenna Elfman, Garret Dillahunt, and Maggie Grace, among others.

When to Watch: April 15th on AMC; 10pm

Westworld

Returning for its second season over 16 months since it last aired, HBO’s newest hit will introduce a new park—the samurai-themed Shogun World—with four more to come in the future.

When to Watch: April 22nd on HBO; 9pm

Genius

Season 2 focuses on Pablo Picasso, played by Antonio Banderas.

When to Watch: April 24th on Nat Geo; 9pm

Archer

“Danger Island” is the theme for this ninth season of the animated hit, which finds the title character as a seaplane pilot in the South Pacific in 1939.

When to Watch: April 25th on FXX; 10pm

The Handmaid’s Tale

Hulu’s biggest hit to date returns for its second season with two of its 13 new episodes, with the rest to arrive weekly on Wednesdays.

When to Watch: April 25th on HULU

Dancing With the Stars

The 25th season of this competition show will feature all athletes.

When to Watch: April 30th on ABC; 8pm

America’s Got Talent

Simon Cowell joins Mel B, Heidi Klum, Howie Mandel and host Tyra Banks for Season 12

When to Watch: May 29th on NBC; 8pm

World of Dance

Jennifer Lopez, Ne-Yo and Derek Hough are back for season 2 of this amazing show! Watch as dancers from across a multitude of styles compete in battles of artistry, precision and athleticism.

When to Watch: May 29th on NBC; 10pm

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/03/28/your-guide-to-spring-movies/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2018/03/your-guide-to-spring-movies.html

[hotspotsmagazine]

Your Guide to Spring Movies

Spring in South Florida means warm, sunny days and cool nights. It’s the last few months where us Floridian’s can go outside, enjoy next to no humidity and not be drenched in sweat the moment you open your front door. Whether you prefer to spend your time indoors or outside soaking up the sun, I have your definitive guide to what to watch from blockbuster movies to the most talked about TV shows, they are all listed below:

MOVIES:

Grab a cocktail, some popcorn and get ready to spend those rainy spring evenings inside with these upcoming blockbusters.

MARCH:

Sherlock Gnomes

Join these adorable garden gnomes and their garden ornament friends in a new animated adventure featuring the legendary Sherlock Gnomes. In the heart of London, gnomes are disappearing from the gardens. Gnomeo and Juliet join forces with the great Sherlock Gnomes and Watson to discover what is behind the mystery.

Starring: Johnny Deep, Emily Blunt, James McAvoy

Release Date: March 23rd

Isle of Dogs

When a young boy loses his canine companion, what lengths will he go to to get him back? Follow him as he travels to Japan to find his pup!

Starring: Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson, Edward Norton

Release Date: March 23rd

Unsane

A young woman is involuntarily committed to a mental institution, where she is confronted by her greatest fear–but is it real or a product of her delusion? Find out when this thriller hits theaters.

Starring: Claire Foy, Joshua Leonard, Jay Pharoah

Release Date: March 23rd

Midnight Sun

The film follows 17-year-old Katie Price, sheltered since childhood with a life-threatening sensitivity to sunlight. Katie’s world opens up after dark when she ventures out to play her guitar for travelers. One night, she meets Charlie whom she has secretly admired for years. She hides her condition from him, and the two embark on a uniquely powerful romance.

Starring: Bella Thorne, Patrick Schwarzenegger, Tiera Skovbye

Release Date: March 23rd

I Kill Giants

Barbara Thorson struggles through life by escaping into a fantasy life of magic and monsters in this dramatic thriller.

Starring: Zoe Saldana, Imogen Poots, Jennifer Ehle

Release Date: March 23rd

Ready Player One

In Steven Spielberg’s newest sci-fi action film, the creator of a virtual reality world called the OASIS dies, he releases a video in which he challenges all OASIS users to find his Easter Egg, which will give the finder his fortune.

Starring: Letitia Wright, Olivia Cooke, Hannah John-Kamen

Release Date: March 29th

All I Wish

Follow an aspiring fashion designer as she struggles to find success and love in this comedy. The story cuts into her life once a year, always on the same date: her birthday.

Starring: Sharon Stone, Tony Goldwyn, Ellen Burstyn

Release Date: March 30th

The Last Movie Star

An aging, former movie star is forced to face the reality that his glory days are behind him. On its surface, this drama is a tale about faded fame, but at its core, it’s a universal story about growing old.

Starring: Burt Reynolds, Ariel Winter, Clark Duke

Release Date: March 30th

Status Update

Ross Lynch stars as Kyle Moore, a teenager who after being uprooted by his parents’ separation and unable to fit into his new hometown, stumbles upon a magical app that causes his social media updates to come true.

Starring: Ross Lynch, Courtney Eaton, Olivia Holt

Release Date: March 30th

APRIL:

A Quite Place

A family lives an isolated existence in utter silence, for fear of an unknown threat that follows and attacks at any sound.

Starring: Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Noah Jupe

Release Date: April 6th

You Were Never Really Here

A traumatized veteran, unafraid of violence, tracks down missing girls for a living. When a job spins out of control, Joe’s nightmares overtake him as a conspiracy is uncovered leading to what may be his death trip or his awakening.

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Dante Pereira-Olson, Larry Canady

Release Date: April 6th

Blockers

Three parents try to stop their daughters from having sex on Prom night in comedy.

Starring: Kathryn Newton, John Cena, Leslie Mann

Release Date: April 6th

Chappaquiddick

This dramatic, historical thriller depicts Ted Kennedy’s involvement in the fatal 1969 car accident that claims the life of a young campaign strategist, Mary Jo Kopechne.

Starring: Kate Mara, Olivia Thirlby, Clancy Brown

Release Date: April 6th

The Miracle Season

After the tragic death of star volleyball player Caroline “Line” Found, a team of dispirited high school girls must band together under the guidance of their tough-love coach in hopes of winning the state championship.

Starring: Helen Hunt, Tiera Skovbye, Erin Moriarty

Release Date: April 6th

Beirut

A U.S. diplomat flees Lebanon in 1972 after a tragic incident at his home. Ten years later, he is called back to war-torn Beirut by a CIA operative to negotiate for the life of a friend he left behind.

Starring: Rosamund Pike, Jon Hamm, Shea Whigham

Release Date: April 11th

Truth or Dare

A harmless game of Truth or Dare among friends turns deadly when someone — or something — begins to punish those who tell a lie or refuse the dare.

Starring: Lucy Hale, Violett Beane, Tyler Posey

Release Date: April 13th

Overboard

A spoiled, wealthy yacht owner is thrown overboard and becomes the target of revenge from his mistreated employee in this remake of the 1987 comedy.

Starring: Anna Faris, Swoosie Kurtz, Eva Longoria

Release Date: April 13th

Krystal

A young man living a sheltered life develops a crush on a stripper and joins her Alcoholics Anonymous group just so he can be in the same room with her.

Starring: Nick Robinson, Rosario Dawson, Grant Gustin

Release Date: April 13th

Super Troopers 2

When a border dispute arises between the U.S. and Canada, the Super Troopers are tasked with establishing a Highway Patrol station in the disputed area.

Starring: Emmanuelle Chriqui, Rob Lowe, Lynda Carter

Release Date: April 20th

Avengers: Infinity War

The Avengers and their allies must be willing to sacrifice all in an attempt to defeat the powerful Thanos before his blitz of devastation and ruin puts an end to the universe.

Starring: Chadwick Boseman, Letitia Wright, Danai Gurira

Release Date: April 27th

I Feel Pretty

A woman struggling with insecurity wakes from a fall believing she is the most beautiful and capable woman on the planet. Her new confidence empowers her to live fearlessly, but what happens when she realizes her appearance never changed?

Starring: Amy Schumer, Michelle Williams, Emily Ratajkowski

Release Date: April 27th

The Week Of

The parents of a soon-to-be married couple make the final preparations for the wedding ceremony.

Starring: Adam Sandler, Steve Buscemi, Chris Rock

Release Date: April 27th

Traffik

A couple off for a romantic weekend in the mountains are accosted by a bike gang. Alone in the mountains, Brea and John must defend themselves against the gang, who will stop at nothing to protect their secrets.

Starring: Paula Patton, Missi Pyle, William Fichtner

Release Date: April 27th

MAY:

Tully

Marlo, a mother of three including a newborn, is gifted a night nanny by her brother. Hesitant to the extravagance at first, Marlo comes to form a unique bond with the thoughtful, surprising, and sometimes challenging young nanny named Tully.

Starring: Mackenzie Davis, Charlize Theron, Mark Duplass

Release Date: May 4th

The Seagull

An aging actress named Irina Arkadina pays summer visits to her brother Pjotr Nikolayevich Sorin and her son Konstantin on a country estate. On one occasion, she brings Trigorin, a successful novelist, with her. Nina, a free and innocent girl on a neighboring estate, falls in love with Boris Trigorin. As Trigorin lightly consumes and rejects Nina, so the actress all her life has consumed and rejected her son, who loves Nina. The victims are destroyed while the sophisticates continue on their way.

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Elisabeth Moss, Annette Bening

Release Date: May 11th

Life of the Party

When her husband suddenly dumps her, longtime dedicated housewife Deanna turns regret into re-set by going back to college – landing in the same class and school as her daughter, who’s not entirely sold on the idea. Plunging headlong into the campus experience, the increasingly outspoken Deanna — now Dee Rock — embraces freedom, fun, and frat boys on her own terms, finding her true self in a senior year no one ever expected.

Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Julie Bowen, Debby Ryan

Release Date: May 11th

The Untitled Deadpool Sequel

After surviving a near fatal bovine attack, a disfigured cafeteria chef (Wade Wilson) struggles to fulfill his dream of becoming Mayberry’s hottest bartender while also learning to cope with his lost sense of taste. Searching to regain his spice for life, as well as a flux capacitor, Wade must battle ninjas, the yakuza, and a pack of sexually aggressive canines, as he journeys around the world to discover the importance of family, friendship, and flavor – finding a new taste for adventure and earning the coveted coffee mug title of World’s Best Lover.

Starring: Morena Baccarin, Ryan Reynolds, Josh Brolin

Release Date: May 18th

Book Club

Four lifelong friends have their lives forever changed after reading 50 Shades of Grey in their monthly book club.

Starring: Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen

Release Date: May 18th

Solo: A Star Wars Story

During an adventure into a dark criminal underworld, Han Solo meets his future copilot Chewbacca and encounters Lando Calrissian years before joining the Rebellion.

Starring: Emilia Clarke, Donald Glover, Woody Harrelson

Release Date: May 25th

JUNE:

Trading Paint

A veteran race car driver and his son, a fellow driver, overcome family and professional conflicts, balancing competition, ego, resentment and a racing nemesis to come out stronger on the other side.

Starring: John Travolta, Michael Madsen, Rosabell Laurenti Sellers

Release Date: June 1st

Ocean’s 8

Debbie Ocean gathers a crew to attempt an impossible heist at New York City’s yearly Met Gala.

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway

Release Date: June 8th

Hereditary

When Ellen, the matriarch of the Graham family, passes away, her daughter’s family begins to unravel cryptic and increasingly terrifying secrets about their ancestry. The more they discover, the more they find themselves trying to outrun the sinister fate they seem to have inherited as it slowly destroys everything they know.

Starring: Toni Collette, Gabriel Byrne, Alex Wolff

Release Date: June 8th

Incredibles 2

Bob Parr (Mr. Incredible) is left to care for Jack-Jack while Helen (Elastigirl) is out saving the world.

Starring: Catherine Keener, Samuel L. Jackson, Holly Hunter

Release Date: June 15th

Gotti

The story of mafia crime boss John Gotti and his son.

Starring: John Travolta, Spencer Rocco Lofranco, Kelly Preston

Release Date: June 15th

Tag

A small group of former classmates organize an elaborate, annual game of tag that requires some to travel all over the country.

Starring: Leslie Bibb, Annabelle Wallis, Jeremy Renner

Release Date: June 15th

TV:

No matter if you’re looking to find your new tv addiction or are waiting for the new season of your favorite show, we’ve got you covered. Here are the most talked about premieres and returning favs for you to binge watch all spring long!

New Shows:

Krypton

This Superman prequel series from David S. Goyer (Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice) and Ian Goldberg (Once Upon a Time) is set decades before the destruction of Superman’s titular home planet.

When to Watch: March 21st on SciFi; 10pm

Station 19

Untitled until late January, this spinoff from Shonda Rhimes’s long-running medical soap, Grey’s Anatomy, focuses on the crew of a Seattle fire station. The ensemble includes Jaina Lee Ortiz, Jason George, Grey Damon, Barrett Doss, and Miguel Sandoval, and you can expect to meet some or all of them on an episode of Grey’s prior to tonight’s two-hour premiere of the new show.

When to Watch: March 22nd on ABC; 9pm

Barry

This HBO comedy from Bill Hader and Silicon Valley’s Alec Berg stars the former as a depressed hitman who embarks on a career change after discovering an acting class. Hader will also direct several of the eight episodes. Joining him in the cast are Stephen Root, Henry Winkler, Sarah Goldberg, and Glenn Fleshler.

When to Watch: March 25th on HBO; 10:30pm

Trust

The 1973 kidnapping of John Paul Getty III—the subject of Ridley Scott’s recent movie All the Money in the World—is also the focus of this FX drama

When to Watch: March 25th on FX; 10pm

The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling

The beloved comedian, who died suddenly in 2016, is the subject of a two-part documentary by Judd Apatow. The four-and-a-half-hour film chronicles Shandling’s childhood, personal life, and career—from stand-up to Tonight Show guest host to star of his own acclaimed cable series It’s Garry Shandling’s Show and The Larry Sanders Show.

When to Watch: March 26th on HBO; 8pm

Rosanne

Why get excited about the debut of the 10th season of a hit TV sitcom? Because the previous new episode aired in May of 1997. That episode—the original series finale—will be ignored, by the way, since it killed off a major character and changed much about the series that preceded it. That means that virtually the entire cast can return, including Roseanne Barr, John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and Sarah Chalke, though the latter will play an entirely different character. Returning co-stars Johnny Galecki, Estelle Parsons, and Sandra Bernhard will also make an appearance. Two new episodes air tonight.

When to Watch: March 27th on ABC; 8pm

Splitting Up Together

Suburgatory creator Emily Kapnek returns to ABC with her latest single-camera comedy, an adaptation of a Danish series. The rom-com stars Jenna Fischer and Oliver Hudson as a couple whose divorce winds up re-igniting their relationship. Ellen DeGeneres is among the producers.

When to Watch: March 27th on ABC; 9:30pm

Alex, INC.

The first season of Gimlet Media’s hit podcast StartUp provides the source material for this new workplace/family comedy from former Scrubs producer Matt Tarses. Here, he reunites with the star of that series, Zach Braff, who plays a veteran radio journalist who quits his job to launch a new podcast company. Braff also directs the pilot, and his fellow cast members include Michael Imperioli and real-life tech industry venture capitalist Chris Sacca.

When to Watch: March 28th on ABC; 8:30pm

Rapture

This eight-part miniseries from Mass Appeal focuses on the lives of hip hop stars including Nas, T.I., 2 Chainz, Logic, G-Eazy, and more.

When to Watch: March 30th on NetFlix

A Series of Unfortunate Events

The middle books in Daniel Handler’s popular Lemony Snicket children’s series come to life in this second of three planned seasons, once again produced and directed (in part) by Barry Sonnenfeld and written by Handler himself. Joining returning stars Neil Patrick Harris and Patrick Warburton are newcomers Nathan Fillion, Tony Hale, Lucy Punch, and Sara Rue.

When to Watch: March 30th on NetFlix

Jesus Christ Superstar Live!

Rocker Alice Cooper stars as King Herod, while John Legend plays Jesus and Sara Bareilles is Mary Magdalene.

When to Watch: April 1st on NBC; 8pm

The Crossing

From the creators of MTV’s Scream comes this mysterious thriller about a group of refugees from a war-torn country who seek asylum in a small American fishing town. Where are the refugees from, you ask? That’s the mysterious part: The refugees are from America, and the war they are fleeing doesn’t take place for another 250 years.

When to Watch: April 2nd on ABC; 10pm

The Last O.G.

Produced and co-created by Jordan Peele, this Tracy Morgan vehicle (originally developed for FX, and delayed from its originally scheduled fall 2017 launch on TBS) finds the former 30 Rock star playing an ex-con attempting to readjust to the outside world after spending 15 years in prison. Tiffany Haddish, Cedric the Entertainer, and Ryan Gaul also star.

When to Watch: April 3rd on TBS; 10:30pm

National Treasure: Kiri

Follow-up to the acclaimed UK miniseries National Treasure (which also streamed on Hulu) tells a completely different story, focusing on the abduction of a young black girl just prior to her adoption by a white family.

When to Watch: April 4th on HULU

Jersey Shore Family Vacation

MTV has reunited the original ruckus housemates (except for Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola) who are now in different stages of their lives.

When to Watch: April 5th on MTV; 8pm

Paterno

Al Pacino stars as the late Penn State football coaching legend in an HBO film that examines the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse scandal. Barry Levinson directs a cast that also includes Riley Keough, Kathy Baker, and Greg Grunberg.

When to Watch: April 7th on HBO; 8pm

Trading Spaces

The popular home makeover series returns after a 10-year absence, beginning with a reunion special. The reunion will be followed in the coming weeks with new episodes that blend returning designers and carpenters (including Doug Wilson, Hildi Santo-Tomas, Vern Yip, Ty Pennington, and Carter Oosterhouse) with new talent. Paige Davis returns as host.

When to Watch: April 7th on TLC; 9pm

Elton John: I’m Still Standing – A Grammy Salute Special

This musical special pays tribute to Sir Elton John.

When to Watch: April 10th on CBS; 9pm

53rd Academy of Country Music Awards

Watch as some of the best country artists perform.

When to Watch: April 15th on CBS; 8pm

My Partner Knows Best

One of Hollywood’s most outrageous couples, Jason Biggs and Jenny Mollen, host this new relationship comedy game show. Tune in to see how well married couples know one another as they compete in a series of hilarious challenges based on real-life relationship obstacles.

When to Watch: April 25th on Lifetime; 10pm

2018 Billboard Music Awards

Watch some of the hottest artists perform their hits and see who walks away a winner!

When to Watch: May 20th on NBC; 8pm

Dietland

This adaptation of Sarai Walker’s best-selling 2015 feminist revenge fantasy comes from Marti Noxon (UnREAL, Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce) and stars Joy Nash as a ghostwriter for a New York fashion magazine against a rather timely backdrop where men accused of sexual assault are mysteriously disappearing and then turning up dead. Julianna Margulies also stars.

When to Watch: June 4th on AMC; 9pm

American Woman

This 1970s-set, half-hour dramedy stars Alicia Silverstone as a single mother trying to raise two children during the rise of feminism—a story based on the real-life childhood of Kyle Richards (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills).

When to Watch: June 7th on Paramount; 10pm

Marvel’s Cloak and Dagger

Freeform’s first Marvel series focuses on two teens (Olivia Holt, Aubrey Joseph) who are linked by newfound superpowers.

When to Watch: June 7th on Freeform; 8pm

72nd Annual Tony Awards

Celebrating the best of Broadway!

When to Watch: June 10th on CBS; 8pm

2018 MTV Movie & TV Awards

All the stars show up and show out for these annual awards!

When to Watch: June 18th on MTV; 9pm

Yellowstone

Kevin Costner makes his debut as a TV series regular in this new drama written and directed by Taylor Sheridan (Wind River, Sicario). Costner plays a modern-day rancher dealing with a variety of issues stemming from occasionally violent conflicts with land developers and a neighboring Indian reservation

When to Watch: June 20th on Paramount; 9pm

Returning Shows:

The Americans

The critic favorite kicks off its final season, which will wrap up the story of the “Jennings” family with 10 episodes that jump forward in time three years to 1987. Joining the cast is Scott Cohen (Gilmore Girls).

When to Watch: March 28th on FX; 10pm

Empire

This fan favorite will have you wanting more from episode 1 of the new season!

When to Watch: March 28th on FOX; 8pm

Nobodies

Moves to Paramount from Spike for its second season, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar joins the cast.

When to Watch: March 29th on Paramount; 10pm

Scandal

Moves to a later time.

When to Watch: March 29th on ABC; 10pm

Real Housewives of Potomac

Sit back and watch all the drama unfold!

When to Watch: April 1st on Bravo; 10pm

Legion

The X-Men-related FX series from Fargo creator Noah Hawley picks up the action a year later for this slightly longer (at 10 episodes) second season. Joining the Dan Stevens-led returning cast is Homeland’s Navid Negahban (who takes over as Farouk from Aubrey Plaza, though she also returns).

When to Watch: April 3rd on FX; 10pm

Real Housewives of New York City

Bethenny and the rest of the ladies return to take a bite out of the big apple!

When to Watch: April 4th on Bravo; 9pm

Fear the Walking Dead

Season 4 of the Walking Dead spinoff will incorporate multiple changes under new showrunners, especially in the cast. Lennie James moves over from the main series, and he’s joined by new faces in the form of Jenna Elfman, Garret Dillahunt, and Maggie Grace, among others.

When to Watch: April 15th on AMC; 10pm

Westworld

Returning for its second season over 16 months since it last aired, HBO’s newest hit will introduce a new park—the samurai-themed Shogun World—with four more to come in the future.

When to Watch: April 22nd on HBO; 9pm

Genius

Season 2 focuses on Pablo Picasso, played by Antonio Banderas.

When to Watch: April 24th on Nat Geo; 9pm

Archer

“Danger Island” is the theme for this ninth season of the animated hit, which finds the title character as a seaplane pilot in the South Pacific in 1939.

When to Watch: April 25th on FXX; 10pm

The Handmaid’s Tale

Hulu’s biggest hit to date returns for its second season with two of its 13 new episodes, with the rest to arrive weekly on Wednesdays.

When to Watch: April 25th on HULU

Dancing With the Stars

The 25th season of this competition show will feature all athletes.

When to Watch: April 30th on ABC; 8pm

America’s Got Talent

Simon Cowell joins Mel B, Heidi Klum, Howie Mandel and host Tyra Banks for Season 12

When to Watch: May 29th on NBC; 8pm

World of Dance

Jennifer Lopez, Ne-Yo and Derek Hough are back for season 2 of this amazing show! Watch as dancers from across a multitude of styles compete in battles of artistry, precision and athleticism.

When to Watch: May 29th on NBC; 10pm

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/03/28/your-guide-to-spring-movies/