#the era of birb birb has arrived

[birb--birb]

The longer I've been on the internet, the more I regret using my real name as a username 😅

[berrychanx]

TMMN Alien Society - Analysis

This is only based on little lore we know and is just my analysis and theory

Based on the landscapes,  the suken buildings, the vulcano in the background, the tropical plants etc, we can assume this was pre-modern humans Japan, Hunter-gatherers arrived in Japan in Paleolithic times,  30,000 BC but the Japanese archpelago dates back as far as 100,000 years.

Jōmon Culture ( REAL LIFE / EARTH EVENTS) Middle Jōmon (ca. 2500–1500 B.C.) This period marked the high point of the Jomon culture in terms of increased population and production of handicrafts.

Look who has lots of ceramic’s

handcrafts

The warming climate peaked in temperature during this era, causing a movement of communities into the mountain regions.

Late Jōmon (ca. 1500–1000 B.C.) As the climate began to cool, the population migrated out of the mountains and settled closer to the coast, especially along Honshū’s eastern shores. Greater reliance on seafood inspired innovations in fishing technology, such as the development of the toggle harpoon and deep-sea fishing techniques. This process brought communities into closer contact, as indicated by greater similarity among artifacts. Circular ceremonial sites comprised of assembled stones, in some cases numbering in the thousands, and larger numbers of figurines show a continued increase in the importance and enactment of rituals.

Final Jōmon (ca. 1000–300 B.C.) As the climate cooled and food became less abundant, the population declined dramatically. Because people were assembled in smaller groups, regional differences became more pronounced. As part of the transition to the Yayoi culture, it is believed that domesticated rice, grown in dry beds or swamps, was introduced into Japan at this time.

This all seems to tie perfectly with the alien race in Tokyo Mew Mew New.

Fauna: This goofy bird reminds me of a bird of terror

Phorusrhacids, colloquially known as terror birds, are an extinct family of large carnivorous flightless birds that were among the largest apex predators in South America during the Cenozoic era; their conventionally accepted temporal range covers from 53 to 0.1 million years ago. They ranged in height from 1 to 3 m.

 Aliens domesticating terror birds? BASED. But aren’t them specific to America? Yeah but this is an anime with aliens and magical girls and genetic modified humans XD so maybe terror birds could have existed in Japan in this timeline...or some regular herbivore bird simply evolved into a big BIRB. Well back to the main topic, the enviroment and climate change, like real life records show, this “region” climate began to warm so much it started raising the sea level.

But why some refuse to leave?

if we think of real life experience: wars and dramatic climate changes can lead people to find a new way to survive elsewhere or on the other side to stay and try to overcome the difficulties, ti is always been like that.

they're afraid of the unknown, what waits them out there may be worst than their fate on earth sentimental behavior,elders etc

My theory is that, they’ve sent a couple of aliens into the new world in order to build a decent new home for everyone, once their new home was established they would come back and take the rest with them.

But sadly the disaster occured too soon, before the previous team could have contact with the “aliens on earth”- Probably the human species could have develop from the previous “aliens” that survived and lost their “alien” characterisitcs or simply evolved the normal way real humans did

Source for Jomon culture

[z-h-i-e]

15 questions for 15 followers

@thatonetimetraveller has questions...I have answers...thanks for the tag <3

Are you named after someone?

Why yes...

I'm named after a character in a book/film. The character in the film was played by someone with the same first name. It's a fantasy story, a time-travelling ghost I suppose would be the best way to summarize. Film was from 1948; book from 1940; story based in the depression era.

The thing is, it's a name that happens to be the most popular name that was like this many *spreads arms out* years running, so the assumption is just my parents were hipsters of the day, going with the same thing as everyone else.

The truth is, they had the names Christopher and Miranda picked out; when the fam heard of the name Miranda, displeasure was announced. So then my parents were like, nah, okay, we'll think of something else...

But then I was suddenly, like, hewwo world!, and I arrived ON TIME (like, the only time ever really) TO THE DAY (I have confirmation on my begetting day, which is kind of cool), so as my mom was in the hospital room and things were happening and my arrival was like NOW...the movie was playing on the TV in the room, and my parents decided it was a good name, soooooo...

I am named after the title character in Portrait of Jennie (not the 70s and 80s fad, strangely enough). A cute but creepy child ghost time traveler who grows up and falls in love with an artist.

Now - fun additional fact - I did actually marry an artist who is in fact more than a handful of years older. Fate be like that.

My middle name comes from my grandmother on my father's side.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Today when I found out that Murphy the Eagle who has been trying to hatch a rock for the longest time is now getting to be a dad to an orphaned eaglet. Don't let your dreams be dreams, Murphy!

3. Do you have kids?

I have three floofs and a feathered friend. Also a fox that lives in my yard and poops on top of my shed. (Relevant because we are currently looking for a roofer for our garage, and the roofers keep letting me know there's a pile of poop on top of the shed and I have to explain this isn't a prank.) This is a third generation fox. This fox lives with a giant orange outdoor cat.

Indoor floofs are Angry Old Lady Cat (Oreo - she'll be 20 soon, so in human years, that's like 180 or something, she's allowed to be angry at everyone who isn't me or Smaug), Cat Who Thinks Is Dog (General Patters - that beautiful asshole might knock shit off tables and sneeze on me, but twice a day like clockwork he's on his perch for his meds, doesn't fight them, comes when called, and sits on command), Doggo Who Has No Brakes (Princess Paige - she was born blind, but a rough tough cream puff who is braver than most animals I know, and is easily bribed by hotdogs and cookies), and Felix. Felix is a lovebird who turned 23 this month. He's a solo fella since 2018, and he's living his best life (and still blows my mind when I think of historical world events that happened in the last twenty years... like, PJ's LOTR trilogy is over 20 years old, but what's older? Dis birb.)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

No. I also don't always understand sarcasm. I have had times when it's thought I am using sarcasm and I'm not. But I can write it, when it's written I know what it is when I see it. Usually.

I do appreciate, growing up, that my dad could tell when I was confused and would let me know sarcasm was in use. That helped.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their voice. Many physical things can change; voices usually stay the same, so I try to key into voices, and that helps me remember people better later. (And yes, that means communicating on the internet is like this wild party with the sound muted and I'm wandering around sometimes wondering 'do I know you?' This is part of why I really, really like Discord servers with open voice chat channels in them. I appreciate Discord mods who have vc as an option in their servers so much.)

6. What's your eye colour?

Officially, listed as brown. Technically, hazel. Just like the car I drive, as long as they work, I don't care what color they are.

7. Scary movies or good endings?

Sometimes you can have both.

8. Any special talents?

A couple nights ago, I found out I can write different words with each hand simultaneously. Apparently that seems pretty strange to those with whom that information was shared. I guess if people read this and reply in the comments that this isn't rare, then I'll have to find another talent. (Can also write stories while singing completely unrelated songs. This is allegedly another oddity. We joke at work that I am a dual core processor.)

9. Where were you born?

In the city I now live again after several life detours.

10. What are your hobbies?

All of them.

11. Do you have any pets?

Please see the question about my children.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

You mean all the ones they forced me to in gym class, or just the electives?

Okay, on purpose, I played softball (catcher mostly - I have large hands >.> moving right along), did some archery, and kickboxed.

I also was on the tennis team for one day. I broke my wrist during the first practice tripping over a racket someone left on the ground behind me. Clearly not one of my finer moments.

Additionally, I'm part of an ongoing game of tag that dates back to 2016. I'm currently it. That counts, right?

13. How tall are you?

I'm taller than average, but I'm still shorter than all of my siblings, and being the eldest, I don't want to talk about it. #Fingon-mood

14. Favorite subject in school?

Elementary: Geography; Math Middle School: History; Science; Any Hands-on class (carpentry, art, sewing, etc.) High School: Orchestra, Jazz Band; German College: Copyright Law; Animation/Film But overall, any time I got to use a computer, program a computer, take apart a computer, build a computer, etc... I was there first. I used to constantly sign up for Saturday morning computer time at the elementary school. My poor mother, having to take me to the school on the bus on Saturday mornings, and I'd be this little first grader sitting there plunking away at BASIC or playing the Snoopy game while the 6th-8th graders were typing up papers and doing serious business.

15. Dream job?

I am living the dream

No pressure tags:

I choose you, @melkorwashere @unnamedelement @violinclad @thelioninmybed @lferion @jaz-the-bard @raisingcain-onceagain @thraaaaaaaanduuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiil @sallysavestheday @synechd0che

@jhelenivarsimae @maglor-my-beloved @thedaughterofshadows @hhimring @elfscribe and all others who want to do the thing

[whirlybirbs]

' can i help you? ' w/ loki??? i am so!! vibrating bc of this miss birbs

FROM THE VOID, WITH LOVE | apartment CMY9.

summary: mobius offers refuge, loki takes the couch.

pairing: loki / f!reader

a/n: heheheh drabble time, drabble time, drabble time, loki too long for couch time...... wow, is it 2017 again? i feel insane. also, i love the idea that the TVA is just completely stuck in a 1960s style decor era.

[   MASTERPOST   ]

Loki isn't naive — he knows that Agent Mobius's choice to keep both himself and you, the pretty little Midgardian scientist, around brought with it enough bureaucratic red tape to strangle the man.

The Time Variance Authority and the powers that be ensure he will be held responsible for keeping a tight leash on you both; after all, you're Variants. Reoccurring Variant Anomalies, at that.

Whatever that even means.

Loki is, however, pleasantly surprised to find that — for the night — both of you are allowed to accompany Agent Mobius back to his personal living quarters... With two guards, that is. Yet, the idea of bathing and sleeping is enough to stave off Loki's more vicious mood towards the armed men.

You seem to share the same sentiment as him — especially as your child-like wonder at the Null-Time Zone begins to dwindle on the tram back towards the living complex Mobius calls home.

Loki can't exactly pinpoint when the structure begins nor ends. It fades low and high into the horizon, into the dark of... space? Time? He can't quite parse it. Neither can you, apparently, through heavy eyes.

The tram arrives outside his housing section with a low warble.

Apartment CMY9 is lived in.

It's a modest space, Loki notes, bearing the same 20th mid-century interior design as the previous installation did. Deep browns, muddled greens, faded mustards... The loveseat and living room set that sits against floor-to-ceiling windows is charming at best. At worst, out-dated and homely.

You seem to enjoy it, however.

"Ladies first," Mobius insists when it comes to the order of bathing — and Loki busies himself with snooping about while the grey-haired agent procures a towel and robe and change of clothing for you down the hall.

You disappear into the bathroom, and when the shower begins to run, Mobius wanders back into the kitchen with a loosened tie and sans his crisp dress shoes.

Mobius smirks as he retrieves a crystal growler from the bar cart in the corner. "You want that drink now?"

"Ha ha," Loki remarks dryly, "But, yes. Whiskey, please."

Mobius offers up the tumbler, then plops down into an armchair that looks well-worn and well-loved. Before him, on a large coffee table, bears witness to his off-the-clock activities. It seems like this RVA phenomenon has occupied a great deal of his time.

Loki and yourself, that is.

The God leans back on the emerald loveseat, crosses his long legs over one another, and sips the whiskey.

"So," Mobius begins, tugging his tie loose and tossing it on top of the papers, "You watched the tapes."

"That I did."

"Humor me," the TVA agent smirks, "What did you think?"

"I believe it's ridiculous," Loki bites, taking another sip. He's quiet for a moment — because that isn't exactly a lie. It is ridiculous. All of it. The TVA, the Avengers, the Infinity Stones, you... You falling in love with him and him wholly devoting himself to you.

"Which part?"

Loki steals Mobius a look. It's flat, sharp, and threatening. The agent, in return, raises his free hand and swallows his drink down. "Right, right, but — c'mon..."

Then, his hand gestures to the bathroom beyond the hall. Mobius is smiling. All-knowing. Loki despises when he does that.

Loki can feel his lip curl. "Say what you mean. I don't enjoy your little riddles."

"Her."

He snorts into his drink.

"Loki, seriously, you watched both the tapes—"

The God narrows his eyes in the dim light of the apartment and decides to pointedly ignore Mobius' jests.

"It's fate!"

However, he can't ignore the swirling feeling of unease in his gut. Loki doesn't enjoy the feeling — nor did he enjoy the elation he felt when watching the aforementioned tapes. It was... Odin's beard, why even dwell on it? That's not his life — and it's not the one he will have now, that's for certain. He'd gone and mucked that up.

Loki, in that moment, decides he will do everything in his power to prevent you from becoming a weakness. He simply won't allow it. No, not when he needs to do a job here so he can leave. Then, maybe he can have a life again and not just be some... Variant. He can be Loki, God King. Or... Maybe just Loki.

He's beginning to lean towards the latter.

Mobius notes the God's silence and sighs.

It's then that the water turns off in the bathroom.

As you step onto that cream-colored, shag bath mat, you quickly dry yourself off enough to bury yourself into the warm latte colored robe Mobius had left on the edge of the sink. You have to laugh when you turn and spy the golden logo of the TVA emblazoned across the back. The robe fits you well — and it begs the question of to whom it belongs.

You gather up the change of clothes and emerge in a swath of steam into the hall.

And so Mobius watches Loki, the God of Mischief, swallow tightly at the sight of you standing there — all dewy skin with a flash of bare legs.

It's the smallest expression of piqued interest — so small that Mobius almost misses it. The grey-haired agent decides, then, to toss back the rest of his whiskey and stand quickly. With wide-eyes, he pats Loki's knee.

"I'll, uh, leave you two to talk," he whispers at Loki's avoidant expression, "Think about it."

Mobius then passes you in the hall with a kind smile. He pats your shoulder, and you can't help smile back.

"Thank you, Moby."

"'Course," he nods, gesturing with his head to the kitchen, "Anything in the fridge is game — just, uh, y'know. Watch out for God King of Bad Moods over there."

"I heard that."

You snort quietly.

You place the pile of clothing on the counter as Mobius moves towards his bedroom, and snatch some sort of drink from the door of the rounded fridge. Then, a little photo pinned up on the side with a magnet catches your eyes.

You smirk. "That sly bastard."

It's Mobius and the judge from before.

You pluck it off the fridge and wander towards Loki — he watches as he finishes his whiskey with a long swig. You hand it off to him, ignoring the brush of your fingers.

“Can I help you?”

"Recognize her?"

"How curious."

"No kidding," you say as he hands it back; you place it on the mound of papers on the table before doing a double take. You look at Loki, then point to the manilla dossiers.

He offers a lazy shrug as he absently runs his knuckle across his bottom lip. He's purposely avoiding your gaze.

You flip through a few stacks on top.

"This is all about us."

"Not us," he correct sharply, "Other versions of us."

You narrow your eyes. Anger bites at your heart. "I know."

"Good."

"Great."

The two of you hold gazes for a moment then; it's challenging, and you're proud when Loki is the one to break from it in favor of straightening his legs and standing. You're not sure how you never noticed how tall the God was until now. He's all legs — and cheekbones, too. Sophisticated. Regal.

Handsome.

"If you don't mind," he snaps in an attempt to shoo you away, "I am going to try to rest—"

He makes a point to fluff the pillows on the couch with an annoyed look your way.

"Fine."

"Yes," he says, "Fine."

"I'll take the spare bedroom, then."

"Exactly," he breathes, as if it was obvious, "If you expect me to tuck you in—"

"I don't."

"Great!"

"Wonderful."

You scowl as you drop the papers with a slap and turn on your heel.

"Goodnight, then."

"Try not to snore too loudly, bug," he says as he reclines on the couch — and you almost feel bad; he hardly fits. His legs hang over the edge. To make matter worse, he's still in his issued jumpsuit, "Lest you ruin my beauty sleep."

Oh, let him be the damned martyr.

"Oh, you're right, I'll keep it down. You desperately need as much beauty sleep as you can get—"

His head snaps up and he glares at you.

You simply laugh as you retreat back to the guest bedroom.

And so, Loki lays awake in the quiet and thinks.

[rogue-seeker]

Fic Timeline 3/17/21

  original timeline:                                                 

Since Rogue Seeker is written out of order, this timeline is provided for better story accessibility. (Please note that the fic has the heavy topics of: child abuse, reprogramming, xeno ethics, generational trauma and rehabilitation of abusers, near extinction of one’s species, lost of culture, body horror, post-apocalyptic setting, all wrapped in surreal comedy.)

Multi-Era

Legacy - Three different Soundwaves, three different eras.

Hive Era

Courting Gift - Soundwave has brought home a gift for Megatronus.

The Second Cataclysm

N/A

Three Centuries Prior

Limbo of the Creator - Trapped in the Shadowzone, Soundwave looses zirself to memory files while standing sentinel over zir creations, watching the kliks tick by to their probable deactivation.

Arc: Nest Base

It’s the Toaster’s Fault - Three hundred years after the Invasion and the Autobot Purges, one of the few surviving toaster mechs, Churro, is now finally old enough for its manufacturing cycles to come online and is now ready to care for future eggs. William Lennox Suffers in the process.

The Fryder Swarm - Hexbolt is an uploaded human mind that inhabits a series of drone bodies. Including unusual ones.

Conflicted Mind, Networked Bodies - In which Starscream decides to go bother Hexbolt.

The Status Duel - Hexbolt sends Specs, a video of their failed status duel versus Soundwave.

A Birb and A Smoothie - In which William Lennox gets confused by a smoothie, much to Laserbeak’s amusement and Hexbolt’s annoyance.

Garbage Disposal Angst - William Lennox finds himself in the surreal ordeal of asking Soundwave about zir weekly garbage disposal deliveries. The threatening looks from the twin nightmares of Frenzy and Rumble doesn’t help.

404: Grief - Of the now extinct gladiator Seeker culture, only a few remnants survive. Here former Decepticon commander Soundwave displays zir veils woven for zir, by zir former Endura, Megatron.

404: Brood - Buzzsaw is anxious over zir creator hurting kir siblings.

404: Lost Childhood - Laserbeak mourns kir lost sparkling hood.

Creator Appreciation! With Magnets - In which the Frumbles show their loving appreciation to Soundwave. By covering zir in hearth shaped magnets while ze is asleep.

And Perish - In which Skywarp arrives and greets William Lennox. William Lennox Suffers. And Soundwave grieves.

Arc: The Aegis

Commitment - In which Skywarp tries to convince Soundwave that courting is a good idea.

Sleepover!! - Skywarp drags Soundwave out of zir sulking via sleepover, and ends up reminiscing over their lost culture.

Better then the Overseer’s Lash - In which what’s considered ethical in child care for Cybertronians isn’t the same for humans. Especially for those mecha who survived the Gladiator Pits as slaves.

Thundercracker's Waifus - Thundercracker introduces yres waifus to the followers of the Aegis Flock blog.

Rung the Therapist - In which Skywarp realizes Soundwave has a fear of insecticons, hidden by anger.

Pre-Programming Rituals - Soundwave and Thundercracker chant as they do their pre-programming ritual before Howlback's mind-check.

Cuddles! But dogmech.... - Soundwave onlines inside of Thundercracker in a tangle of sleeping Seekers.

Silvermaw - In which Soundwave discovers the fate of Silvermaw.

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 34: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: There would be... not implied violence at not following her directives.  There would be actual violence.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon.  I'm Owls.

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're going to be talking about episode number 34, “City of Steel.”  Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Sure.

O: Get ready for a very eventful episode today, folks!

S: We open at a very 80’s era New York City skyline.

O: Now with ninety percent more of flying birb.

S: Laserbeak, um, enters a manhole and flies down into the sewers.

O: Cowabunga, dude!

S: None of this makes sense!  I mean, where did all of this water come from?  It's like a river down here, and then there's just this ladder between two pipes that appears to serve utterly no purpose.

O: Like, I don't- I want to say there like, wasn't a way to get up to that pipe.

S: Mm-hmm.

O: Like, there was just a ladder between two pipes, that you didn't look like you could get to or something. [laughs]

S: Yeah, it doesn't look like it reaches anything it's just there's random ladder.

O: Yes, and then we're suddenly in an abandoned, and quite frankly, devastated subway, for some reason?

S: New York is weird, I guess?  Laserbeak shoots laser beams at a door to make it open.

O: This does not damage the door in any way, and shouldn't the Decepticons have a better way of opening doors than shooting at them?  I mean, they have several people who don't have hands!

S: Yeah... yeah.

O: Like-like- maybe- just- just the cassettes alone, you know?  I'm just saying.

S: Um-hm, and I mean, what if... what if like, Shockwave is holding something in his one hand?

O: Right!

S: He's got a gun for the other one.

O: I mean, I guess that- I guess that- that's an argument for shorting dolph- shooting to open doors.

S: [laughs]

O: Uh, unfortunately, but uh, I mean, like, I'm just saying, motion sensitive?  Something that senses Decepticon badge[s]?  Either those seem like perfectly reasonable options.

S: I mean, heck, maybe the shooting it was just a way of transmitting a code to open the door, I don't know.

O: [laughs] They really could have shown that in a different way but- but fair.

S: [sighs] Laserbeak enters Soundwave’s chest, and elsewhere the Constructicons argue amongst themselves.

O: And lo!  A very off model Megatron appears!  He will look off model for this entire episode and it will drive me nuts.  So, uh, just ignore me.  It's gonna keep coming up, I'm sorry.

B: [laugh]

S: Ah, Megatron admonishes the Constructicons for arguing and Soundwave reports that there is absolutely no nearby Autobot activity.

O: Megatron then laughs maniacally saying, “Soon New York City will be all mine!”

S: While waving his arms in the air like he just don't care.

O: Um, everybody dance now?

S: [singing] Everybody party!

O: [laughs]

S: [sighs]

O: And due to the Constructicon activity down below, we then see that the entire Empire State Building sinks into the earth.

S: Who knew there were just large holes under New York City?  If I were a New Yorker I'd be extremely concerned about this!

O: Either that, or maybe the Constructions just have been really, really, busy?

S: Both could be true.

O: [laughs]

S: God, sinkholes would be terrifying there. 

O: In a city?  Yeah, I mean- I mean- I think that's why normally you don't have cities built in places where sinkholes are as... common, but at the same time they still are built in cities- er- cities are built-

S: Well, I mean, the thing is it's not like people could really tell at that point not, I don’t think.

O: Not unless it had like, a history of happening.  France!  Paris!  That's wh- that's why the the catacombs exist.  Like, there had been all of this mining that had happened under Paris and so it was leaving these like- essentially, very- places that could crumble, you know, fall in.

S: Mm-hmm.

O: And so they had to do something to get structure down there.  Th- that is a partial reason why the catacombs exist in Paris.*

S: Oh, that is interesting.

O: Yeah, sorry, on that historical tangent on the too many documentaries Owls has watched in the past couple months.

S: [laughs]

O: Sorry! [laughs]

S: [sighs] At the Ark, the Autobots watched the news about the sinking Empire State Building and Optimus correctly intuits that this has to be Megatron's doing and all the Autobots roll out to head towards New York City.

O: It's time for another cross-country road trip!

S: Courtesy of Prowl.

O: We have to assume.  As they're leaving Optimus radios Sparkplug to tell them to have Wheeljack meet them in Central Park, but in the shot where like, Sparkplug is receiving this message he doesn't move at all, doesn't say anything, and it's just a very weird shot because it's like, this is not an alive person.

S: They were saving money.

O: Yes.  Then in New York, we see Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Wheeljack, Mirage, and Hound entering the city by way of water skis, when they spy Laserbeak.

S: Oh, water skis, the time tested and honorable method of travel over water.

O: I think what kills me is like, to my knowledge we don't even have like, toys that have water skis on them, so it seems so strange that they keep coming up?

S: It's a goofy show from the 80’s about giant robots of course they're going to bring up water skis.

O: [laughs] You're right, you're right, whatever was I thinking?

B: [laugh]

S: It was the hip thing, I don't know.

O: [while laughing] Sure.

S: But yeah, I mean, geez- how did if they road tripped to New York City…

O: Like, where- where were these other group that they're water skiing to- to New York?

S: Yes, and where did they start out from?

O: Florida!  They were on the beach, man!

S: [laughs]

O: Sunstreaker wanted to have a good time.

S: [sighs] Oh yeah, found some- found some people who were willing to have hot car washes.  I don't know if the- if the robots would be entertained by that but-

O: Probably not, but it is a funny thought.

S: Yeah, especially since at least three of them are super cars.

O: I mean, yeah, a lot of them are like that where they're like, very expensive cars. Cuz Knockout’s [from Transformers Prime] like that too, yeah, it’s just absurd.  Sorry.  Tangent!  I’m good at tangents today.

S: [laughs] We're both good at tangents.

O: [laughs]

S: Then in a two-second interlude, we see Optimus, Bumblebee, Ratchet, Ironhide, and Bluestreak reach New York via highway before we cut back to the underground Decepticon lair.

O: Where they appear to be refurbishing the Empire State Building... the entire thing.

S: Oh god, um, there are probably people in there who... probably wish they'd stopped drinking.

O: Pray everyone was on their lunch break, maybe?

S: Hopefully?

O: [laughs]

S: Either that, or they're just- I don't know, they're not having a good time, probably.

O: I can't imagine why they would.  I mean, this begs the question, is the electricity still connected?  Do they still have water?  Like, I don't know how the Constructicons would have managed that.  But- but I'm just saying, like, you know, a specific kind of person, if they still had working electricity, phone lines, fax lines, whatever, might just keep working.

S: I'm not sure that they would considering that I don't think those wires have a whole lot of, uh, give to them.

O: Allow me to put it this way, they probably shouldn't, but I also know what kind of show I'm talking about.

S: Yeah...

O: [laughs]

S: Laserbeak warns Megatron that the Autobots have arrived.

O: He's so off model, he's so off model, he’s so off model.

S: Yup.  It- it is your trial and tribulation Owls, for watching this episode.

O: Apparent- apparently, this episode just wants to hurt me.  Anyway, the Autobots are met by Soundwave and his cassettes as they arrive at Central Park.

S: Rumble and Soundwave each finish each other's sentences for a little bit.

O: Okay, well, possibly Frenzy says something in the middle too?  It shows him on the screen, but his mouth isn't moving, and so help me god even I can't tell Rumble and Frenzy’s voices apart.  It doesn't help that they're ALSO both voiced by Welker.  This is just one person saying a sentence in two to three silly voices isn't it?

S: Yep.

O: [snorts]

S: God, it reminds me of the thing that I just saw today about apparently there's an episode of Batman where basically all of the characters are voiced by Mark Hamill.

O: [laughs] Mark Hamill is to Batman what Frank Welker is to Transformers.  That sounds right, actually!  And like, there were I think- I think there were a lot more like other voice actors that did a bunch of voices in Transformers than in Batman, but still, it's a funny thought.

S: Yeah, but it was- I think the plot of that episode was Mark Hamill gets kidnapped.

O: OH YEAH!

S: Like, the voice actor, Mark Hamill-

O: Yeah. You know the Joker comes up with surprising frequency on our podcast, I just want to bring that up.

S: Mm-hmm.

O: Rumble and Frenzy then use their pile drivers to pound the ground for a bit and Ironhide just kind of keels over?

S: Ironhide just decided he was done for the day.

O: While all the animation in this episode is just terrible, wow, that fall is in a special place.

S: Yeah... Scavenger can sense Optimi, as he digs under Optimus from below.

O: But not before Optimus chucks Soundwave across the park.

S: [sharp intake of breath] And how does this even work?  Prime doesn't fall onto Scavenger he falls like, 40 stories and lands on his back in Long Haul's trailer.  And to, um, like, illustrate the scene, Scavenger was like, up on some sort of thing or whatever so that he could dig up to where Prime was and then suddenly when Prime falls down Scavenger's not there.  The thing he's on isn't there, but Long Haul and his trailer are significantly further down.

O: Yeah, like, he just falls 40 feet, or 40 stories, it’s fine!

S: Then Megatron walks over zaps Optimus with some kind of device and severs his motor relays.

O: So he zaps Optimus’ abs with a strangely dildo-y shaped object and now Prime can't move?

 S: Well technically, I think he calls it suspended animation but... pretty much, yes.

O: Just checking, okay. [laughs]

S: [sighs] Then Megatron flies up through the hole made by Scavenger and threatens to kill Optimus if the Autobots don't leave.  Then the Decepticons raise the *brand new* refurbished and updated Empire State building back to ground level and Megatron proclaims he is the leader of New Cybertron.

O: I mean at least that's a better name than last time he named something.  Although I- I have to give him credit, his fantastic threat to Optimus Prime?  To melt him down into paper clips.

S: Yeah, I mean, that is honestly kind of ignoble for Optimus.

O: [laughs]

S: To be turned into, you know, office supplies and honestly I want to know how- well- I think it- how Megatron knows what a paperclip is?

O: [laughs harder] Oh my god, does Cybertron have paperclips!?!  I mean-

S: Eh…

O: They don't even use paper most of the time!

S: I don't think they have trees.

O: Yeah, yeah, that's also true.

S: And paper would be very flimsy for them unless it was some sort of... unless they had an equivalent.

O: I'm just saying, who took Megatron to an office supply store?  This is what I want to know, why?

S: He obviously learned this when he learned what a guinea pig was.

O: [laughs] Yeeeeah.

S: And so, after this threat, um, New York City is being evacuated by both the Autobots and the humans.

O: How nice of the Decepticons to let them all orderly evacuate.

S: Uh.

O: But then Spike has an idea, and all the Autobots exit the highway.

S: That was an extremely convenient exit and I have to wonder who Megatron is going to rule in his city of New Cybertron.

O: It's just the Decepticons.  It's a bigger base.  But what was even funnier about that exit, is they were totally on a bridge so like that- that was a very convenient exit.

S: Yup.

O: And- and now back to, you know, underground, Megatron is standing between Optimus’ legs on Long Haul's truck bed with his Fusion Cannon aimed, ehem, downwards talking about his conquest.

S: [sharp intake of breath] Yeah, that's not awkward at all.

O: It's not awkward at all.  I'm also not exaggerating.

S: You're not.

O: [laughs]

S: Oh, Megatron then orders Hook to disassemble Prime.

O: Which Hook then begins... by pulling out a lightsaber.

S: A purple one, to you know, keep it Decepticon themed.

O : Of course!  Later, Long Haul dumps all the Optimus Prime parts in front of Megatron's feet.

S: [sighs] Megatron then picks up Optimus' head to gloat, which obviously he can't do if Prime is [un]conscious so he runs power through the head.  And this is just making- this is like the- one of the few things from the- that's consistent with the comics.

O: Ironically, yes.  Also, I think we meant unconscious.

S: We used the wrong word, he should have been unconscious.

O: [laughs]

S: Or, he can't do if Prime is unconscious, so let's run with that.

O: [laughs] Uh, for some reason, Optimus can control his limbs while his head is active.  So he has his dismembered forearms grab Megatron's legs and trip him.

S: Optimus has the weirdest ass powers.

O: Right!?!

S: That he can pull out of nowhere.

O: Right?  And then, Megs gets back up, tells the Constructicons they can do whatever the hell they want with the rest of Optimus’ body, but he's keeping the head.

S: Presumably, so we can put it on the metaphorical mantle.  I mean, god, this is basically the exact same thing that... well, actually I think it was Shockwave in the comics because-

O: I know Shockwave popped up at some point.

S: -his head, yeah.  His head was definitely separated from his body.

O: Elsewhere, Spike is uh, waste deep in some water?

S: Next to a ship.  He directs the Autobots into what looks like an open sewer drain and we discover that he's actually sitting on Bumblebee's head in the water.

O: So Bee's got those little horns on his head, it seems like it would not be so comfortable on the good ol’ keister.

S: Yeah…

O: But apparently- apparently Spike's okay with it.

S: I mean if he'd actually been drawn small enough that he could fit between the horns I don't think it would be so bad but it definitely looks like he's sitting on the horns.

O: [laughs] Right, like, that doesn't look comfortable.

S: Yeah.

O: So then Spike, Bee, Ratchet, Mirage, and Hound enter the sewer to go save Optimus.

S: I'm gonna call them team Health Hazard considering Spike was sitting in water that appears to be very near a sewer exit, or if it's not a sewer exit, some sort of storm drain exit.  And I mean, that's still not going to be great for his health.

O: Yeah.  Mirage scouts ahead of the group, turning invisible, leaving Hound to track him with his scanners as the rest of the group follows.

S: Scrapper is congratulating himself on the Constructions using Optimus’ remains um, extremely creatively as he touts um, off one of Prime's arms holding Prime's blaster.

O: They drive up and then we go back to team Health Hazard.  Ratchet complains about feeling like they're in a swamp.

S: How is there foliage down there!?! [sighs]

O: Through the magic of cartoons?

S: Considering the type of show this is, yes. [sighs] Hound says he's now picking up Optimus’ signal from behind them, and then Mirage reappears and points out the giant red, blue, and white alligator that is charging towards them.

O: With an Autobot logo clearly visible on its leg.

S: That they don't notice the Autobots are not very good at, uh…

O: Noticing things.

S: Yeah.

O: Very obvious things.

S: Yeahhhh.

O: They walk slowly away as Mirage covers them.

S: Hound expresses his confusion as to why his sensors are picking up Optimus.

O: Oh, come on guys!!!

S: The suspiciously colored alligator clearly has nothing to do with it, right?  Right?

O: Right, right, right, obviously not, that would be too obvious!  Um, Bee and Spike lead the alligator into an old subway train, and then the others send it down the track.

S: Somehow this train still has power.

O: Back topside, Mixmaster has- just shits girders.  Like, in vehicle mode, when Skywarp shoves a car into his mixing tank?

S: Mixmaster is a very good chemist.  Very good.

O: [while laughing] Obviously!

S: Starscream compliments Megatron for once.  Though obviously not to his face.

O: He likes what he's done with the place- or the city at least.

S: Yep.  In the Decepticon base, team Health Hazard finds Optimus’ head.

O: We get introduced to yet another random unit of measure, mechana-meters.

S: Pfft, we did not need another one.

O: No, we didn't, but we got another one anyway! [laughs]

S: [long groan]

O: You see what you did Transformers?  See what you did, you like- oh god, is it 40 years old?  You like, 30 something year old show, you broke Specs!

S: I think it's like, 35 years old considering that I think uh, [the eruption of] Mount St. Helens was in 1980.

O: Hmm, yeah.

S: Um, Ratchet runs power to Prime's head and Prime uses his telepathy to bring his legs to them.

O: I just want to know what his legs were even like- what were they a part of?  Did they just shove them in a closet?  I'm- especially considering what they did with the rest of him!

S: Yeah, I don't know, maybe Optimus Prime- oh god, maybe Megatron wanted his legs used as I don't know-

O: I don't want to know, I don't want to know.

S: [sighs] I don’t know.

O: But consid- go ahead.

S: Well, I was thinking like parts of a chair, or something?

O: [laughs] Yeah, that seems dumb enough to be a thing.  Of course, this is when they realize that alligator was made out of Prime parts.

S: And it has a name, the alligator-con.

O: Of course!

S: And next Hound, Mirage, and Ratchet are wrestling with the alligator, while Bee and Spike stand off to the side next to Prime's huge freaking legs, while primly holding Optimus’ head.

O: Wait.  Does this mean they carried the legs down here, or did Prime them- move them with telepathy like, the entire time?

S: I mean, it's anyone's guess, I guess?

O: [laughing while talking] They're so big!  Compared to everybody else.  [normal speaking voice] And then Prime is apparently able to subdue the beast with yet more mind waves!

S: Ratchet is able to mostly reassemble him except for the arm we saw Scrapper carting off earlier.  I mean, there were still parts left over so... what?

O: Red and blue parts even, they do not look like they were just random parts the Decepticons should have had lying around.

S: Well, unless it was left over from one of Megatron's um, toys?

O: Oh god no. [laughs]

S: Uh-huh.

O: I'm not going there, goodbye, goodbye.  Goodnight everybody! [laughs]

S: Uh-huh.  Optimus gives Mirage a side hug with his one arm and tells him to radio the others because Megatron is in for a shock.

O: Top side we see Bluestreak, Wheeljack, Sunstreaker, and Ironhide are walking around in the streets.

S: I'm calling this team Hot to Trot since, you know, they're out and about.

O: We've got Hot to Trot and team Health Hazard for those of you following at home.

S: And they see Prime's missing arm.  It is attached to a building acting as some sort of sentry gun.

O: In Decepticon HQ, Megatron is very unhappy about losing his toy, as he spies team Health Hazard in the monitor, you know, walking with Prime.

S: And then Prime's arm shoots into the screaming Autobots below.

O: [laughs] Soundwave just calmly mashes what we have to assume is the fire button like, repeatedly.

S: Yeah, oh god, someone's just using... using Optimus Prime's arm as a video game.

O: Yes! [laughs]

S: It's the most lifelike video game. [sighs]

O: [laughs]

S: And honestly, the Autobots seem like they're more afraid of the arm than the alligator, as they actually run away from the arm.

O: Yes, uh, we see Jazz in a shot for a second.

S: Hound and Bluestreak fall into a hole, where Rumble appears driving a subway train.

O: Before suddenly turning into Frenzy.  I mean, like, his color changes between shots.

S: Yeah, I mean whichever cassette this is, he looks like he's having a very good time.

O: Well, he is until Bluestreak and Hound explode the front of the train, and that apparently stops all momentum and they are saved.

S: What are physics to a children's tv show episode?

O: In the 80’s. [laughs]

S: Yeah.  Bee, Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker are driving around, uh, before being suddenly attacked by taxis.

O: These decepticabs appear to be the Constructicons’ handiwork.

S: Bee, Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker gracefully leap over them in vehicle mode, before Prime mows the taxis over while in his own vehicle mode ,and then he takes out three Constructicons in their little firing stations for good measure.  Optimus arrives back in front of the Empire State Building and says it's time to, “Lend him a hand, and an arm as well!”

O: Oh Optimus, you and your dad jokes.

S: Prime and Ironhide scale the building to retrieve Optimus’ arm.

O: Along with Ratchet, but I think what more of note here is Ironhide’s got a grappling hook too!?!

S: Megatron orders an airstrike by the Seekers.

O: The Seekers are damaged, and Starscream calls the other two cowards before Sideswipe jumps into the air (with no visible sign of his pack) and grapples Starscream, while Starscream is in jet mode.

S: This sounds like it's um, jet judo on…

O: Steroids?

S: Yes, I couldn't remember the word.

O: And then Starscream ends up diving into the river as Sideswipe just flies off perfectly fine.

S: Well, I guess he had that um, jet pack.

O: That invisible jet pack? [laughs]

S: Yeah.  The Constructicons form Devastator and they attempt to step on Wheeljack before climbing up the uh, refurbished Empire State Building after the Autobots.

O: Bee and Spike infiltrate the control room where Soundwave and Megatron are.

S: Ah, they like to live dangerously.

O: Very dangerously, considering they keep throwing Spike (or Spike throws himself) into these situations.

S: Yeah.  Soundwave stands up and begins shouting, “Intruders!”

O: Megatron says they are, “Doomed!”

S: But is he going to take the uh, steps to make sure that they're doomed?  And I don't think he does.

O: I think he tries. [laughs]

S: Yeah.  Yeah, I mean, Spike insults him and then Megatron says something to the effect of, “You dare insult me, in my own command post!?!”

O: “You come into my house and-” [laughs]

S: I did not go out to have a good time.  I specifically stayed in, and I'm feeling so attacked right now!

O: [laughs] And then Spike and Bee like, run around the room and maneuver Megatron into shooting the command console, which deactivates Prime's arm.

S: Yeah.  And then Soundwave, in order to, you know, deal with this, sends the birbs after Spike and Bumblebee.  Presumably so he can attempt to I don't know, do damage control on the count- on the console?

O: Outside, Devastator grabs Prime, you know, like King Kong, and whacks Ratchet and Ironhide into the tower.  Wheeljack even starts talking about King Kong before sending in some remote controlled helicopters.  Uh, like, after Devastator.

S: I think Wheeljack just decided he was going to have fun with this.

O: I mean, that's fair.

S: I mean, did he just jerry-rig the helicopters, or did he go, and did he have them already prepared?

O: I’m really- it’s-

S: In some way.

O: It's up in the air which one.

S: Yeah, Ironhide and Ratchet meanwhile, shoot the floor out from beneath Soundwave and Megatron because they're, I guess, a floor above?  And so, Soundwave and Megatron end up falling past them and into another hole- er, through a hole in the floor.

O: Or- or they make a hole in the floor?  But it is so goofy looking, it's amazing.  We definitely have a gif we get to reblog, it's gonna be great. [laughs]

S: Yes, yes.  They just- Ironhide and Ratchet look so pleased with themselves.  I think they do a little handshake or maybe a thumbs up?

[It’s a handshake in case anyone was curious. ~Owls]

O: Something like that.  All I can say is quite frankly, that off model Megatron get- he deserves to be in that hole.

B: [laugh]

S: Yep, and so uh, Devastator is climbing up to the top of the tower, and then Prime uses mind powers to shoot- to supercharge his gun and shoot him.

O: Devastator falls, disassembling into the individual Constructicons as they flee.

S: I actually just want to ask how Optimus Prime managed to supercharge his gun when it's been his limbs that he's been controlling, but that’s-

O: I have no idea. [laughs]

S: -that's neither here nor there, because while the Constructicons flee, so do Soundwave and Megatron, they follow close behind them.

O: After the battle Ratchet reattaches Prime’s arm.

S: He probably feels pretty good about that, because Optimus says, “Just as it always was,” while squeaking horribly.

O: [laughs] And my biggest takeaway from this episode is that this really seems like a two-parter that they crammed all into one episode because I kid you not like, the entire ‘Megatron taking over New York part’ like, happens in like, under five minutes.  And I really feel like, probably it should have been two parts and the end of the first part would have been right after Optimus got kidnapped but- but no, no it's just like this everything happening in five minutes and then a relatively normally paced episode after that.  It was weird.

S: Yeah.

O:  Anyway, join us next time for episode 35: Desertion of the Dinobots, Part 1.  And then Specs has some fanfics for today.

S: Yeah, we have some fanfic recs.  The first is, “The Return of the Revenge of the Son of the City of Steel,” by WaywardInsecticon, and it is actually a script format parody of this episode.

O: [laughs]

S: And I thought it was just very fitting for it like, it's funny, it's silly.

O: Very!

S: It is, it is.  It's based on the G1 cartoon, it's rated T, it's Gen, there's no pairings, and it's a G1 cast.  And in summary, “It's script format.  What happens when the dreadful episode City of Steel goes north?  You get this thing.”

O: [laughs]

S: And it's a City of Steel parody, and it's a one shot.  And the second fic is, “Five Hangovers and a Trumpet,” by KoiLungfish.  Also a G1 cartoon based fic, it's rated T, Gen, none, and the characters are the Constructicons.  And in summary, “The aftermath of a Constructicon party can be a messy place,” and character/theme here is the Constructicons.  Considering that the Constructicons were such a big part of be-

O: Everything here? [laughs]

S: Yes, yes, the plan to refurbish New York.

O: And refurbish Optimus Prime while they were at it.

S: Yep.

O: [laughs]

S: Also a one shot.

O: This one sounds like so much fun like that title alone just sounds glorious, “Five Hangovers and a Trumpet.”

S: Mm-hm, it's- it's fun, it's one that I remember reading like, back when it was first published and just... it's fun.

O: It sounds fun, I can't wait to read this one myself.

S: And that about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Youtube, just to name a few.  And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, or Youtube, or AO3!  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I’m Owls.

S: Toodles

[Outro Music]

*To my understanding this was due to Paris running out of room for their dead and having this massive area under the city that was essentially empty that they realized they could use.  The catacombs themselves only take up a small portion of these old abandoned mines.  Many of which still exist under Paris, but after the 1774 disaster there was a massive undertaking to chart and inspect these old quarries and reinforce them to make sure they remained stable.  (At least under public buildings and roads.)  Sink holes still pop up from uncharted mines with some amount of frequency in Paris.

Mines of Paris

Redevelop Subterranean Paris

Bonus: I got sidetracked, but I found it interesting, and somewhat relevant, so here it is.  Basically, yes, sinkholes can and do happen in larger cities, though it seems more common to form because of a water or sewage line break than from sitting atop large empty caverns.

How Do Sinkholes Form?

~Owls