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#the fuckdd up thing is he was the one who taught me to have boundaries
deicide-doll · 24 days
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trigger warning. do not read if you dont want to read something triggering.
#my bf is a fucking rapist#i told him i didnt want to have sex again because it was getting late and i have work tomorrow#and he usually takes a long time to finish after round 1 so i didnt want to stay up an extra hour#and he started manipulating me and pleading and saying he loved me and i dont know why i capitulated but#the fact that i said ok after 10 no's?#and i was crying#i was crying while i sucked his dick and while he fucked me#and he told me to struggle more because he found it hot#he thinks rape is hot#and after he joked about being a good manipulator and being able to get me to disregard my boundaries#which is true#but like he knows im an abuse survivor and have trouble with boundaries#the fuckdd up thing is he was the one who taught me to have boundaries#he told me to tell my mom to eat a dick when shes egging on my eating disorder#he told me i didnt have to stick around when my mom was calling me slurs for breaking dishes or failing classes#and here he is being proud that he managed to get through an abuse victims boundaries#he also joked about waking up to the cops at his door#which like shows that deep down inside he knows what he did is wrong#and if i wasnt such a cool girl i could get him into trouble#not like cops here persecute rape anyways but#i pretended to like it after the fact because i still needed him to take me home and i didnt wanna start a fight#but holy shit#idk what to do...#i mean im going to leave him fuck the trip#im shaking i dont even know how ill be able to go to work tomorrow#when this whole thing was over me wanting to get a reasonable amount of sleep on a work night#misiabear rants
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