#the griphold those two have on me. impenetrable
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GRRRR. thinking abt my middle school ocs
#what if you were a priest so profoundly invested in your faith out of self loathing and hatred for the world around you#that you threw yourself into your beliefs and were so close minded because you couldnt allow yourself to care as deeply about others as you#did before. because you cared so much about so many things it broke you. so you closed off and stopped caring and devoted yourself.#and what if you found a reason to care again. one fateful day you found someone who wandered in and became your reason to breathe.#and what if he made you want to be better.#he made you remember how to live life without fear paralyzing your every bone... he was your reassurance.#AND WHAT IF HE TAUGHT YOU TO OPEN YOUR MIND TO THE WORLD AND OPEN YOUR HEART TO OTHERS#and you opened your heart to him. in subtle bitter-sounding ways that were always laced with adoration#the immense love you felt for that man who taught you how to be you.#he was always nothing but purely himself... and he helped you find comfort in doing the same.#anyway. anywayanywayanyway. this is not profound nor interesting but every time i think about them i go fucking crazy and need to get it out#the griphold those two have on me. impenetrable#gabriel is like the embodiment of my religious trauma & guilt complex & ocd#anyway. god damn#✨
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