#the horrors I’ve seen haven’t been caused by Gd’s absence
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Was crying today thinking about how no one besides myself has been there to see me through every revelatory and and soul-crushing moment of my journey. Stopped crying when I realized hang on yes someone else has been there this whole time and it’s Gd
#his purpose might not be to stop the pain but rather to just be there with me to help me bear it#with every scathing thought I’ve had about how he betrayed me by allowing me to come to such harm#I missed the truth of his devotion#the horrors I’ve seen haven’t been caused by Gd’s absence#they’ve been withstood because of his constant presence#despite everything I see now that I’ve been protected all along#not from danger and harm#but from ever having to go through it alone#hashem
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