#the interpersonal dynamics are complex and revealed slowly

[callsigns-haze]

His Shadow: Chp 4

masterlist part 1 part 2 part 3

Azriel, secretly juggling his responsibilities and personal life, maintains a hidden relationship with YN, who works at a pleasure house in the Hewn City. She was his light, his love, his passion. Yet being his darkest secret is a hard role because life in the Hewn as a young female isn't the easiest as the two of you hold an even dark secret yet to be told...

Pairing: Azriel x reader

This series contains mature themes: Explicit depictions of violence, including physical and emotional. Themes of secrecy. Descriptions of difficult relationships, including strained familial and romantic dynamics. Mature sexual content. Themes of power, control, and manipulation within complex interpersonal relationships. Discussions of parenthood and the challenges associated with it, including postpartum experiences.

The morning sun filtered softly through the sheer curtains of YN’s mother’s modest living room. The pale light danced across the room, casting gentle patterns on the worn wooden floors and faded furniture. YN had spent the night on her mother’s small, but comfortable sofa, using a makeshift nest of blankets and pillows. She stirred slowly, the quiet stillness of the house a sharp contrast to the bustling atmosphere of the pleasure house.

Yawning and stretching, YN glanced around, her mind still wrapped in the haze of sleep. The night had been restful, but she couldn’t shake the nagging worry about Knox. Her mother had graciously offered to care for him while YN worked, but she had been missing him terribly. It was time to reunite with her son.

She carefully gathered her things, folding the blanket she had used and tidying up the small space as best as she could. Her mother, an woman with a warm, kind demeanour, was still asleep in her own bedroom. YN wanted to make sure everything was ready before she woke her.

With a soft, cautious step, YN made her way to the small nursery that had been set up in a corner of her mother’s apartment. The room was modest but cozy, decorated with pastel-coloured curtains and a few framed pictures of animals. In the crib at the centre of the room lay Knox, his tiny form barely visible beneath the soft, knitted blanket.

YN’s heart swelled as she approached the crib, her eyes softening at the sight of her sleeping son. Knox’s small chest rose and fell with each gentle breath, his little fingers curled into tiny fists. She reached down, carefully placing a hand on his back to wake him softly.

“Good morning, my little one,” YN murmured, her voice tender and loving.

Knox stirred, his eyelids fluttering open to reveal the curious, innocent gaze of a three-week-old baby. YN carefully lifted him from the crib, cradling him gently in her arms. His warmth and weight were a soothing comfort against her chest.

“Let’s get you ready to go home,” YN whispered, her voice full of affection. She carefully adjusted Knox’s blanket, making sure he was secure and comfortable.

Her mother had prepared a small bag with some essentials for Knox—diapers, a few changes of clothes, and a soft toy that YN had brought from home. YN picked up the bag, slinging it over her shoulder as she prepared to leave.

She made her way to the small kitchen, where she could hear the faint sounds of her mother beginning to stir. YN set the bag down on the counter and walked back to the nursery to say a quiet goodbye to her mother.

Her mother emerged, rubbing her eyes and offering a sleepy smile. “Good morning, dear. Are you heading out already?”

“Yes, just about,” YN said, her voice gentle. “Thank you so much for taking care of Knox. I really appreciate it.”

Her mother came over, reaching out to gently pat Knox’s head. “He’s a lovely little boy. I’ve enjoyed having him. Just be sure to get some rest when you can.”

YN nodded, her smile filled with gratitude. “I will. I just need to get him home and settled.”

As YN and her mother exchanged a final hug, YN carefully picked up Knox and adjusted him in her arms. With one last look around the apartment, she stepped out into the fresh morning air.

The city was slowly coming to life as she made her way back to her own apartment. The streets were quieter than usual, and the early morning light bathed everything in a soft, golden hue. YN’s heart ached with both joy and weariness as she walked, the familiar weight of Knox in her arms a constant reminder of the responsibilities and love she carried.

She reached her apartment building, a modest structure with a worn exterior that belied the cozy interior. She carefully navigated the stairs, her mind filled with thoughts of getting Knox settled and ready for the day ahead.

Entering her apartment, YN carefully placed Knox in the small crib she had set up in the corner of the living room. The space was small but welcoming, filled with the warmth of home and the love of a mother’s touch. She adjusted the blanket around him and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“Welcome home, Knox,” she whispered, her voice full of love and relief. “We’ve got a lot to do today, but we’ll do it together.”

---

Azriel stood by the large, arched window of Rhysand’s office, the glass cool against his fingertips as he looked out over the sprawling gardens of the River House. The room was bathed in the warm, golden light of the afternoon sun, casting a soft glow over the luxurious furnishings and elegant décor. Yet, despite the opulence of his surroundings, Azriel's thoughts were distant, his attention focused on the scene unfolding outside.

Nyx, Rhysand’s nine-year-old son, and Agnar, Cassian’s seven-year-old son, were out on the lawn, their laughter carrying through the open window. The two boys were engaged in a spirited game of tag, their shouts and giggles filling the air with a sense of carefree joy. The sun illuminated their faces, highlighting the innocence and exuberance of childhood.

Azriel watched them with a mixture of fondness and melancholy. He saw the way Nyx’s dark hair gleamed in the sunlight, a mirror of his father’s, and Agnar’s quick, agile movements, so reminiscent of Cassian’s youthful energy. The sight of them playing together, their faces flushed with happiness, tugged at something deep within him.

A shadow of sadness crossed Azriel’s features as he observed the scene. The joy and vitality of his nephews were a stark contrast to the burden he carried. The secrecy surrounding his relationship with YN and their son, Knox, weighed heavily on him. Despite the love he felt for them, he was forced to keep their existence hidden, his role as a father concealed from those closest to him.

Azriel’s gaze softened as he took in the sight of the boys, his thoughts drifting to the life he could have had if circumstances were different. He imagined what it would be like if he could openly share his joy and pride in Knox, if he could let his family see the life he had built with YN. The pain of not being able to do so was a constant ache, a reminder of the sacrifices he had made to protect those he loved.

Rhysand’s voice broke through his thoughts, rich and warm with a touch of amusement. “You seem lost in thought, Az.”

Azriel turned away from the window, his expression carefully neutral as he faced Rhysand. “Just watching the boys. They’re growing up so fast.”

Rhysand smiled, his eyes following Azriel’s gaze to where Nyx and Agnar continued their game. “They are. It’s hard to believe how quickly time passes.”

Azriel nodded, forcing a smile. “Yes, it is.”

Rhysand’s tone grew more contemplative. “Sometimes I think about how different things might be if circumstances were different. But I suppose we make the best of what we have.”

Azriel’s eyes flickered with a mixture of gratitude and sadness. He knew Rhysand’s words were meant to offer comfort, but they only served to underscore the gap between his public life and his private heartache.

“Indeed,” Azriel said quietly, his voice tinged with a sadness that he tried to mask. “We make do with what we have.”

Rhysand’s gaze remained thoughtful, and he seemed to sense the deeper emotions behind Azriel’s words. “If there’s ever anything you need to talk about, you know you can always come to me.”

Azriel nodded, a flicker of appreciation in his eyes. “Thank you, Rhys. I’ll keep that in mind.”

As Rhysand turned his attention to some documents on his desk, Azriel returned to the window, his thoughts returning to the life he had to keep hidden. The sight of Nyx and Agnar playing was a bittersweet reminder of what he yearned for—an open, unburdened life with YN and Knox.

The late afternoon sun cast long shadows across the polished floors of the River House as Azriel excused himself from the inner circle's meeting with barely a moment to spare. Rhysand, Cassian, and the others were deep in discussion about upcoming strategies and potential threats, but Azriel’s mind was elsewhere, focused on the fleeting moments he could spend with YN and Knox.

“Sorry to cut out early,” Azriel said quickly, his voice tinged with a mix of urgency and apology. “I’ve got something I need to take care of.”

Rhysand looked up, a hint of curiosity in his eyes. “Everything alright, Az?”

Azriel forced a smile, nodding. “Yes, just personal matters. I’ll catch up with you all soon.”

Before anyone could press further, Azriel was already striding towards the exit. His steps were brisk, the weight of his desire to return home fueling his haste. He made his way through the grand hallways and down the stairs, his thoughts solely occupied with the comforting vision of YN and Knox awaiting him.

The journey back to his apartment felt interminable, but finally, he landed silently on the balcony. He slipped into his home with practiced quiet, his senses attuned to the familiar sounds of his sanctuary. The apartment was calm, the air carrying a soft, serene quality that immediately soothed his frazzled nerves.

Azriel moved through the living room, his heart fluttering with anticipation and love. As he rounded the corner, he was met with a sight that warmed him to his core.

YN was asleep on the couch, her form curled up in a cozy nest of blankets. Her hair was splayed across the cushions, a serene expression on her face. Knox, their precious son, lay nestled on her chest, his tiny body rising and falling with each gentle breath. He was awake now, his small eyes blinking with curiosity as he looked up at his mother.

Azriel’s breath caught in his throat at the sight. The image of YN, exhausted but peaceful, with Knox cradled against her, was a poignant reminder of the love and dedication they shared. He approached them quietly, careful not to disturb YN's slumber.

Kneeling beside the couch, Azriel reached out, his fingertips brushing gently against Knox’s soft cheek. The baby cooed, a small, delicate sound that filled Azriel’s heart with overwhelming tenderness.

“Hey, little one,” Azriel murmured softly, his voice a low whisper. “Look who’s come to see you.”

He carefully lifted Knox from YN’s chest, his movements gentle and practiced. The baby’s head rested against his shoulder as he held him close, a smile spreading across Azriel’s face. Knox’s tiny fingers grasped at the fabric of Azriel’s shirt, his eyes bright and curious as he cooed back.

Azriel leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Knox’s forehead. “You’ve been such a good boy today, haven’t you?”

Knox gurgled in response, his eyes widening as he looked up at his father. Azriel’s heart swelled with affection as he held his son, feeling the warmth and weight of him in his arms. The bond between them was palpable, a silent conversation filled with love and promise.

Azriel glanced over at YN, still peacefully asleep. He carefully adjusted Knox, making sure the baby was comfortable in his arms before leaning down to gently brush a strand of hair away from YN’s face.

He settled onto the couch beside YN, keeping Knox cradled close. He watched as YN stirred slightly, her eyes fluttering open. She blinked sleepily, her gaze settling on Azriel and their son.

“Azriel?” YN’s voice was soft, her tone a mix of surprise and sleepiness. “You’re home early.”

Azriel smiled, his eyes filled with warmth. “I couldn’t wait to see you both. How was your day?”

YN stretched gently, her eyes softening as she looked at Knox in Azriel’s arms. “It was good. He’s been a little angel. But I’m glad you’re here now.”

Azriel nodded, his gaze fixed lovingly on Knox. “I’m glad too. He’s grown so much in just a few weeks.”

YN reached out, her hand brushing tenderly against Knox’s cheek. “He has. And he’s so lucky to have you.”

Azriel’s smile grew, his heart swelling with love for his family. “And I’m lucky to have you both.”

As he looked down at his son, Azriel felt an overwhelming sense of pride and love. Knox’s small, cherubic face was a perfect blend of both parents, but it was the subtle, distinctive features that made Azriel’s heart swell with emotion. The baby’s tiny limbs and soft, downy hair were endearing, but it was Knox’s nascent wings that truly captured Azriel’s attention.

Even at just two weeks old, Knox had already begun to display the faintest hints of his Illyrian heritage. Though the wings were tiny and not yet fully developed, their presence was unmistakable. They were delicate and translucent, their edges a soft, silvery shimmer that caught the light. They rested against Knox’s back, their appearance a blend of the ethereal and the divine.

Azriel’s fingers traced the edge of one of Knox’s wings with a gentle touch, careful not to disturb his sleeping son. The delicate membranes were warm and soft beneath his fingertips, and the faint luminescence was a reminder of the incredible heritage Knox was inheriting.

“Look at these wings, little one,” Azriel whispered, his voice filled with a tender awe. “Just like mine. You’re growing up so fast, even though you’re still so tiny.”

Knox stirred slightly, his tiny wings fluttering ever so gently in response to his father’s touch. Azriel’s smile widened, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. The sight of Knox’s miniature wings, so full of potential and promise, made his heart ache with a bittersweet joy.

He shifted slightly, pulling Knox closer to him, his own wings instinctively curling around them in a protective embrace. The warmth of his wings enveloped Knox, creating a cocoon of safety and love. The sensation of his son's small body nestled against him, combined with the soft, almost imperceptible flutter of Knox’s wings, was an exquisite reminder of the bond they shared.

Azriel leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Knox’s forehead. “I know you’re just beginning to learn about your wings, but I promise you, they will grow strong. They will carry you through the skies just like mine.”

He continued to speak softly, his words filled with the kind of love that only a parent could feel. “When you’re older, you’ll learn to soar through the skies. But for now, just enjoy being small and safe in your mother’s arms and mine.”

The quiet moments stretched on, and Azriel found solace in the simple act of bonding with his son. The world outside seemed distant and irrelevant compared to the peace he found in these fleeting moments. The responsibilities and secrets that burdened him felt lighter, if only for a while.

As Knox’s tiny hand reached up, his small fingers grasping at the fabric of Azriel’s shirt, Azriel felt a pang of deep affection. The tiny, innocent gesture was a powerful reminder of the love he had for this little being, a love that transcended the complications of their lives.

The peaceful cocoon of the living room was gently disturbed as YN stirred from her slumber on the couch. She stretched languidly, her muscles protesting slightly as she woke from a deep, restful sleep. She blinked sleepily, her gaze falling on Azriel, who was now tenderly bottle-feeding Knox. The soft glow of the lamp illuminated their quiet moment together, casting a warm light across the room.

YN smiled softly at the sight. Azriel’s presence, so gentle and attentive with their son, was a heart-warming sight. She reluctantly pushed herself up from the couch, her body a bit stiff from the hours spent resting in one position. The couch had become a makeshift bed over the past few weeks, but the comfort of being with her family made it all worth it.

Yawning, YN moved to the small, neatly arranged bedroom where her work attire awaited her. She quickly began the process of getting ready for her shift at the pleasure house, her mind already focusing on the tasks ahead.

She started with her undergarments, slipping into a comfortable, supportive bra and a pair of seamless panties. Next, she chose a simple yet elegant outfit for the evening—a fitted, deep navy dress that complemented her figure and allowed ease of movement. The fabric was soft and smooth, with a subtle sheen that caught the light just right. She paired it with a black satin belt that cinched at her waist, adding a touch of refinement to her look.

As she dressed, YN kept an ear out for Knox’s soft coos and Azriel’s soothing murmurs. The quiet, intimate moments they shared were precious, and she cherished the time they had together, even in the midst of their busy lives.

She pulled on a pair of black, sheer stockings, the fabric gliding up her legs smoothly. Her heeled, ankle-length boots completed the look, their dark hue and sleek design adding a touch of sophistication. She glanced at herself in the mirror, adjusting her outfit and making sure everything was in place.

While YN worked on her makeup, she chose a subtle look for the evening. She applied a light foundation to even out her complexion, followed by a touch of blush to give her cheeks a healthy glow. She carefully applied a coat of mascara to her lashes and a muted shade of lipstick that accentuated her natural beauty without being too bold. The final touch was a delicate, sparkling pendant necklace that rested softly against her collarbone.

As she finished up, YN glanced back towards the living room, her heart warming at the sight of Azriel and Knox. Azriel was gently burping Knox, his movements slow and deliberate, a tender expression on his face. Knox seemed content, his tiny hands gripping the edge of the bottle as he took his time feeding.

“Everything going smoothly?” YN asked, her voice soft but filled with a hint of playful curiosity.

Azriel looked up, his eyes meeting hers with a gentle smile. “He’s doing well. We’re just finishing up here.”

YN moved back into the living room, her steps light and purposeful. She bent down to give Knox a soft kiss on his tiny forehead, her fingers brushing gently against his downy hair.

“Almost time for you to go back to sleep, little one,” YN murmured, her voice full of affection. “I’ll be heading out soon.”

Azriel glanced at the clock, noting the time. “I’ll make sure he’s settled before you leave. You go ahead and finish up.”

YN nodded, taking a moment to appreciate the quiet domesticity of the scene before her. She knew that every moment spent with Knox and Azriel was a precious gift, and she cherished these early, serene hours before her work began.

With a final check of her appearance, YN grabbed her small, elegant handbag and slung it over her shoulder. She moved to the door, pausing to take one last look at Azriel and Knox.

“Be good for Daddy,” YN said softly to Knox, her gaze lingering on the tiny, peaceful face of her son.

Azriel looked up, a touch of mischief in his eyes. “We’ll be just fine. You go on and take care of things. We’ll be here when you get back.”

YN gave him a warm smile, her heart full of love and gratitude. “Thanks, Az. I’ll see you both later.”

With one last affectionate glance, YN left the apartment, the door clicking softly behind her. As she walked to her car, she felt a sense of both anticipation and resolve. Her work awaited her, but the love she had for her family was always close to her heart, a guiding light through the busy days and nights.

--

YN stepped into the dimly lit interior of the pleasure house, the familiar blend of perfume and alcohol greeting her senses. Tonight felt like any other—until she noticed two familiar figures occupying the corner booth. Her heart skipped a beat as she recognized Rhysand and Cassian, their presence unexpected and sending a ripple of anxiety through her.

What are they doing here again? YN thought, trying to keep her composure as she walked toward them. She had just served them the night before; seeing them again so soon unsettled her.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” she greeted, her voice warm but professional as she approached their table. “Back again so soon? What can I get for you tonight?”

Rhysand looked up from his conversation with Cassian, his violet eyes sparkling with the usual charm. “Couldn’t stay away,” he replied smoothly. “We’re here to discuss Azriel’s next mission. This seemed like the perfect place to do so.”

The mention of Azriel’s mission made YN’s heart sink. She forced herself to maintain a neutral expression, though her mind was racing. Another mission? So soon after Knox’s birth? The thought of Azriel heading into danger again so soon filled her with dread.

Feigning casual interest, she asked, “Where is Azriel tonight? I thought he might be with you.”

Rhysand shook his head. “He’s probably handling some last-minute preparations. You know how he is—always ahead of the game.”

Cassian grinned. “Or brooding somewhere, as usual.”

YN managed a light laugh, but the weight in her chest only grew heavier. She knew where Azriel had been before she left for work, but hearing them discuss his next mission as if it were routine was unsettling. She needed to know more, to understand what lay ahead for him.

“I’ll get your yesterdays drinks,” YN said, slipping into her role. “Anything else I can bring you?”

Before she could leave, Cassian’s voice stopped her. “Actually, YN, there’s something I wanted to ask.”

She turned back, her heart beating a little faster. “Yes?”

Cassian’s expression softened, genuine curiosity in his eyes. “Last night, you mentioned you have a baby. How are they doing? And your boyfriend? It must be a lot to juggle.”

YN felt a surge of panic but kept her smile intact. She had mentioned her baby the previous night to maintain the cover story. Now, under Cassian’s kind gaze, she had to continue the lie.

“They’re both doing well,” she replied smoothly, though her heart ached. “My boyfriend’s very supportive. It’s been challenging, but we’re managing.”

Cassian nodded, his smile reassuring. “That’s good to hear. You deserve the best.”

Rhysand, who had been quietly observing, spoke up. “It’s not easy, especially with your job. But you’re handling it well.”

YN’s stomach twisted. They had no idea how close they were to the truth—or how much she wished she could tell them everything. But she couldn’t risk exposing her and Azriel’s secret, especially with his upcoming mission looming over them. She needed to know more, even if it meant asking directly.

“So, this mission you’re planning for Azriel,” YN began, keeping her tone casual. “Is it dangerous?”

Rhysand’s expression became guarded, though his tone remained light. “Nothing he hasn’t handled before. Just another piece of the puzzle we’re putting together.”

Cassian added, sensing her concern, “We can’t share details, but Azriel’s the best at what he does. We trust him completely.”

YN nodded, though her worry deepened. She had seen firsthand the toll these missions took on Azriel—the nights he came home battered and weary, the weight of secrets he carried. She couldn’t help but feel protective, knowing what was at stake for him and their family.

She pressed further, hoping for more information. “Do you know where he is now? I haven’t seen him around.”

Rhysand shook his head. “No, he didn’t say where he was heading tonight. But he’ll turn up.”

Cassian grinned. “Probably avoiding us because he knows we’re about to pile work on him.”

YN forced another smile, though her heart was heavy. She knew Azriel had reasons for keeping her in the dark, but that didn’t make it easier. The thought of him out there, facing unknown dangers while she pretended everything was fine, filled her with helplessness.

“I’m sure he’s just busy,” YN said, maintaining her calm facade. “Let me get those drinks.”

She moved away, her mind racing. As she prepared their drinks, the reality of their situation weighed heavily on her. Azriel was preparing for another mission, one that could take him away from her and Knox. And all she could do was wait, serving drinks and keeping up appearances while the man she loved faced danger.

When she returned with the drinks, she plastered on her best smile. Rhysand and Cassian accepted them, quickly resuming their discussion. YN lingered, hoping to catch more information, but the conversation shifted away from Azriel’s mission.

YN pushed open the door to the small, dimly lit apartment, her heart heavy with a mixture of fear and sorrow. As she stepped inside, the familiar scent of home—of Azriel—washed over her, but it brought no comfort this time. Instead, it felt like a cruel reminder of what she was about to lose.

The door closed behind her with a soft click, the sound echoing in the silence of the apartment. Knox’s soft coos came from the bassinet by the window, but YN barely heard them, her mind too clouded by the news she had just overheard. She had known this day would come—that Azriel would be called away on another mission—but knowing didn’t make it any easier.

As she walked further into the apartment, her steps faltered, the weight of her emotions finally crashing over her. She stopped in the middle of the small living room, her vision blurring as tears filled her eyes. A choked sob escaped her lips, and before she could hold it back, she was crying—deep, wrenching sobs that shook her whole body.

She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stifle the sound, but the tears kept coming, flowing freely down her cheeks. The realization that Azriel would be leaving soon—leaving her and Knox to face whatever dangers awaited him—was too much to bear. The thought of him not coming back, of Knox growing up without knowing his father, of her losing the man she loved, was a fear she couldn’t shake.

YN sank onto the couch, her legs giving out beneath her as the grief consumed her. She buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs. She had always known that Azriel’s work was dangerous—that every mission could be his last—but the reality of it had never hit her as hard as it did now. Knox had changed everything. He had brought a new kind of love into her life, but with that love came a new kind of fear—one that gnawed at her every time Azriel left.

The sound of a door opening in the bedroom startled her, and she quickly tried to compose herself, wiping away the tears with trembling hands. Azriel had been in their room, likely catching up on some much-needed rest after his long day. He had no idea she knew about the mission yet; she hadn’t had the chance to tell him.

YN hurriedly stood up, trying to smooth her dishevelled appearance as she heard Azriel’s footsteps approaching. She forced a smile, hoping to mask her distress, but she knew her red, puffy eyes would give her away.

Azriel stepped into the room, his sharp hazel eyes softening when they landed on her. “YN,” he said gently, concern immediately colouring his tone as he noticed her tear-streaked face. “What’s wrong?”

YN opened her mouth to speak, but the words caught in her throat. She didn’t know how to tell him—didn’t know how to voice the fear and sadness that were choking her. Instead, she just shook her head, fresh tears spilling over as she looked at him, her gaze pleading.

Azriel was at her side in an instant, his strong arms wrapping around her, pulling her close. “Shh,” he whispered, holding her as if she were something fragile and precious. “I’m here. It’s okay.”

But it wasn’t okay. YN buried her face in his chest, her hands clutching at his shirt as she cried. Azriel held her tighter, one hand stroking her hair, the other rubbing soothing circles on her back, his voice a soft murmur in her ear.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he urged, his voice gentle but firm. “Please, YN. What’s happened?”

YN pulled back slightly, looking up at him through tear-filled eyes. “I heard about your mission,” she finally whispered, her voice trembling. “I know you’re leaving soon.”

Azriel’s expression shifted, his brow furrowing in concern. He cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing away her tears. “It’s just a mission,” he said softly, though there was a flicker of something in his eyes—something that told her he knew it wasn’t just any mission.

YN shook her head, fresh tears spilling over. “But what if you don’t come back, Azriel? What if this is the one that takes you away from us? From Knox?” Her voice broke on their son’s name, the fear and anguish she had been holding back pouring out of her.

Azriel’s gaze softened even more, and he pulled her close again, his lips pressing against her temple. “I will come back,” he promised, his voice steady and sure. “I swear to you, YN. I will come back to you and Knox.”

But even as he said the words, YN couldn’t shake the fear that gripped her heart. She clung to him, her tears soaking into his shirt as she prayed that he was right—that this wouldn’t be the mission that tore their family apart.

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[serendipitysparks]

Viktor Nikiforov – The Duality of Self and Narcissism: Viktor’s journey reflects themes of self-actualization and narcissism. Initially, Viktor’s personality showcases traits of grandiosity and idealization, which align with the narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) traits as defined in the DSM-5, particularly his inflated self-image, charm, and need for admiration. However, beneath this exterior lies a more complex psyche, influenced by his self-object need for validation and attention, an extension of self-psychology (Heinz Kohut).

The shift in Viktor’s behavior when mentoring Yuri Katsuki suggests a subtle, yet profound, psychological evolution. Viktor’s decision to mentor Yuri symbolizes an effort toward self-differentiation, as he distances himself from his own need for perpetual external validation and seeks meaningful connection. This transformation demonstrates self-actualization in accordance with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, as Viktor attempts to transcend his previous ego-driven existence.

His relationship with Yuri represents a balancing act between object relations theory (Melanie Klein) and interpersonal neurobiology (Dan Siegel), wherein Viktor begins to integrate the parts of himself that were previously fragmented by his pursuit of fame. The mentor-mentee dynamic reveals a desire for attachment, yet also a fear of dependency, indicative of unresolved attachment trauma.

Yuri Katsuki – The Development of Identity through the Lens of Existential Psychology: Yuri Katsuki’s character arc is a poignant exploration of existential self-concept and identity formation within the context of athletic competition. Initially, Yuri's self-worth is contingent on external validation, particularly from Viktor. His deep-rooted social comparison theory (Leon Festinger) keeps him tethered to the perceptions of others. Yuri's anxiety, depression, and intense self-doubt are symptoms of a fragile ego, which fits with Erik Erikson’s psychosocial crisis of identity versus role confusion, central to adolescence but extending into early adulthood. Yuri’s psychological trajectory is marked by his movement from external locus of control to an internal locus of control, as he slowly comes to terms with his sense of self beyond his relationships with others. This aligns with Carl Rogers’ theory of self-concept and congruence, where his genuine identity begins to emerge when he accepts vulnerability and imperfections. Yuri’s initial inability to reconcile his inner self with external expectations mirrors the cognitive dissonance theory, where the tension between his internal desires and external pressures creates psychological conflict.

Additionally, Yuri's experience of performance anxiety (in the realm of sports psychology) is informed by Yerkes-Dodson law, which explains the relationship between arousal and performance. His struggle with anxiety reaches a tipping point where his optimal performance occurs only when he breaks free from external pressures and embraces his passion for skating.

The Theme of Love and Intimacy – Attachment Theory and Emotional Regulation: The relationship between Yuri and Viktor represents an evolving emotional bond that progresses from transference to a more secure attachment. Their evolving dynamic can be analyzed through the lens of attachment theory (John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth). Initially, Yuri’s attachment to Viktor is characterized by anxious-preoccupation, where Yuri’s self-esteem is dependent on Viktor’s approval and attention. However, as the series progresses, the relationship evolves into one of interdependence, where both characters gradually exhibit more secure attachment behaviors, transitioning into a secure attachment style characterized by mutual trust, emotional regulation, and empathy.

In addition, Viktor’s role as both a mentor and lover introduces an intricate interplay of self-disclosure and emotional intimacy. Viktor’s vulnerability, especially when he confronts his own fears and doubts about his purpose in life post-competition, allows for a reciprocal process of empathic attunement in their relationship. This emotional attunement strengthens their bond and facilitates mutual growth, fostering the co-regulation of emotions.

Yuri Plisetsky – Adolescence, Ego Ideal, and the Development of Autonomy: Yuri Plisetsky, in contrast to his namesake, serves as a psychological study in the development of adolescent individuation and the striving toward ego-ideal fulfillment. His personality reflects narcissistic defenses and splitting, a defense mechanism identified by Melanie Klein, where he initially idolizes Viktor as a source of admiration but simultaneously feels the need to differentiate himself from others, especially Yuri Katsuki.

Yuri Plisetsky’s relationship with Viktor and his competition with Yuri Katsuki reflect rivalrous narcissism and a battle for supremacy, indicative of a fragile ego ideal constructed on winning and recognition. His constant striving for autonomy is framed by identity diffusion (Erikson) and ego formation, wherein he attempts to establish his own identity through the process of psychic integration.

Over the course of the series, Yuri’s emotional development is marked by a gradual movement away from the adolescent ego toward an integrated self that encompasses both his competitive drive and his vulnerability, as evidenced by his moments of connection with his coach and peers.

[wildwren]

THE GALLOWS POLE, EPISODE 1: THE RESURRECTION OF DAVE

Written and Directed by Shane Meadows

Your place in hell is assured. But we're here to offer you a second chance.

[astrolocherry]

Birthday Libra Moon - Love Sick Girls.. You were just a Moon Phase she was going through...

written by astrolocherry

The Libra Moon perfects the vision until the fantasy can be daydreamed to completion. As a child, she was captivated by such insatiable imagination, and to this day she is still chastised for those glassy eyes that reveal she has left the world behind. The Moon loves Libra for the opportunity to dream with this dreamer, and the natural qualities of sympathy, sensitivity, interpersonal intuition, aversion to conflict, and need for deep bonds that each share. She is Alice drinking the love potion mixed by the Gods, knowing all too well that nothing is ever what it seems, she knows, but so easily forgets it’s all a dream. As a child of Aphrodite, she is adorned lunar locket around her neck that reflects her scenic mood in a moon mirror. She goes through people, feelings, reactions, and emotional needs in phases. Everything was once just a phase. It can accompany a tendency of becoming swept up in certain obsessions and preoccupations that fade as quickly as they fixate. 

The Moon in Libra is glossed in a rosy blush across the sky. She is subject to a grand and cinematic imagination that believes the Cinderella love story into real life. But these tinted lenses can be tainted too, and she can absolutely personify the definition of ���blind ideals’ or ‘romance is blind’. This may become most evident in the dynamics of relationships that occur behind closed doors in the backdrop of a very black and white public and personal life. The people that she interacts with on a general day-to-day basis may find it difficult to comprehend her complexity considering she is much less demonstrative, and for example find it surprising she has a temper. There is a conscious and strained effort to uphold a social composure that masks the rawness of her feelings and reactions. The natural instinct is to form and maintain connections as if survival depends on it, so she rarely willingly compromises her impression or reputation.

The Moon hides her trigger points inside her loved ones, and these people become unwilling provocateurs in this lunar projection showcase. While this inherent to the human condition, this forms the basis of her impersonal and personal perception. In can be expressive in the Moon in Libra child in her vivid magical thinking, with the emphasised belief of being solely responsible for an adult’s actions, emotions, or sickness. The magical thinker’s voice becomes softer as she grows, though often embedded deeply enough to become part of her conditioning and general self and world view.  It may become a subconscious tendency to adapt to the feeling state of loved ones while ignoring her own. As this distance grows further and she pours more of herself into other people, she only becomes more empty. Maybe she carries false convictions, like a toxic person is the dose of medicine she has always needed. Maybe she also carries false convictions, like a toxic person is the dose of medicine she has always needed. Internalised reactions and anger slowly builds into long-term resentment, a deep and powerful sensation that shows itself covertly and begins scratching away at the relationship over time. Internalised reactions and anger slowly builds into long-term resentment, a deep and powerful sensation that shows itself covertly and begins scratching away at the relationship over time. Suddenly she makes a radical and life-changing move or a shockingly explosive ‘out of character’ exhibition when those long forgotten emotions have finally the decision clear. It’s important for the individual to let go of feeling responsible or controlled by other people’s feelings. She must first learn the way of interpreting and managing her own.

It’s also possible for the opposite to occur with the Moon in Libra. Unsettling experiences, emotions, or reactions become attributed to the actions or the presence of a loved one. In a positive sense, it’s ‘you always know how to cheer me up’, in a negative sense it can be ‘i’m only nervous because you are nervous if you would settle down I would be able to’. This can be quite a tragic expression of the Moon in Libra, as such individuals tend to distance or leave people in order for life to get better. And yet it really never does because this Moon in Libra cannot leave herself, and the problems that she drags along just become additional projections. This is rarely as malice as it can seem, and it often highlights a deeper vulnerability, sensitivity, and and almost primitive childhood fear of the shadow apparitions, a secret and awry expectation of looking deeply inside themselves and discovering the very person they have never liked. And all Moon in Libras battle with this demon.

Harmony in the home is necessary as financial and material security. Every guest in her house is made feel at home and ease, and she is also soothed by the sound of company, unmade beds, and tiny footsteps down the hall. She is a fine hostess with a way of intuiting and meeting everybody’s needs, though she cannot fall asleep fighting, and she can wake with a hangover from heavy tension or arguing the night before. High emotions, stress, and distress can cause the side-effects like lower back pain, bladder, urinary or fluid trouble, bloating, weight gain, migraines, or even sugar loading and over or under-eating.   

The Moon has many phases as the Libra Moon has faces. The child is afraid of being left alone and struggles finding a voice. The adolescent is transfixed with acceptance and being everything to everybody. The young woman is perceptive, yet full of self-doubt. The businesswoman can be quite the dominatrix in business, intelligence is the charm she mixes with coaxing beneficial partnerships. And the old wise one in Moon in Libra has finally served justice to herself. She matters. She always did matter as much as everybody she fought so hard for 

Cherry 

[aqvarius]

With people comparing Namba and Matsunaga (both older, both have an ex which feels redundant plot wise, and having moments of being laid back but also stern), which of the two do you think is the better?(Though I'm not sure if rmd will go beyond the 2nd epilogue since all the backlash from LC and we'll probably never see any more character development from each guy)

hmmmMMMM okay so i still have thoughts about the future of rmd (which i’m still working on slowly to try and get all my Thoughts in order) pending for another ask BUT i actually still haven’t read namba’s adversaries so i feel like i can maybe make a decent comparison without namba having too much advantage

so matsunaga and namba are REALLY similar. the sad thing is that matsunaga’s history with his ex should tie into the plot but it really doesn’t (or rather the link between ex and the plot comes out of literally nowhere) unless you’ve read all the right heart scenes (i’m just presuming this, it might also come out of nowhere even if you’ve read all the heart scenes and also i don’t know which ones exactly bc i didn’t wanna spend any hearts on this route lol). 

CUT FOR BIG SPOILERS

i do actually think that matsunaga’s route had more potential to weave in some more complex themes but ultimately ended up being a bit more basic(?) in terms of its core message. while yes, it is groundbreaking for voltage for them to write a bi love interest, i felt the way they tackled sexuality in this route wasn’t the most thoughtful. i mean, for the patient to basically go nuts (honestly don’t even remember his name bc this route made so little impact on me and i didn’t enjoy it enough to save screenshots lol) and murder his ex because he chose to preserve his public image as a celebrity and date a woman just felt like (1) not the most thoughtful character construction for a non-straight character and (2) just a way to (dare i say tokenistically) shoehorn in matsunaga’s sexuality without making it a genuinely impactful part of his personality and the development of his relationship with the mc. 

for one, i have to reiterate that it really did come out of nowhere. most of the route focussed on matsunaga’s health issues (frankly unnecessary imo). for me it felt like the health issue thing was a way for matsunaga’s backstory (particularly in relation to kasumi) to be written in, and then the thing with his ex was the way for his character to relate somewhat to a seemingly unrelated case (the actual medical/patient case aspect of the route), but they honestly threw that in so last minute and it was such a passing thing as well? like i feel like matsunaga’s route and his character were developed more from the whole downplaying his health issues thing than his sexuality. however, because the climax of the route was about the patient going berserk, they kind of were like let’s diffuse this situation with a dramatic reveal about matsunaga’s sexuality and that GENUINELY felt like all that was used for. like all of the “getting closer” moments were related to his health issues or hanging out the pomeranian lol. 

also honestly the ways in which both the patient and the female patient dealt with the singer’s death was exactly the same (i.e. wanting to die bc what’s the point in living if he’s no longer there) so i didn’t really see the point of there being two of them aside from setting up for a more dramatic ~gasp the singer was bi~ moment which in itself was just a setup for a more dramatic ~gasp matsunaga is bi~ moment right at the end. i also felt like they could have addressed the idea of fear of social discrimination in a more nuanced and thoughtful way? essentially i wasn’t a fan of the whole “he was afraid of being in a publicly gay relationship with me so i killed him bc he broke up with me to be with a woman” thing. and in my opinion, matsunaga contributed NOTHING to that entire theme aside from just saying “i had a boyfriend and we broke up for the same reasons except i didn’t become a murderer” which like........ you could have used this opportunity to actually explore the pain and difficulty of needing to hide your relationship because of social taboo or being discarded because your partner chose public image over you rather than just write this character off as a vengeful gay ex vs the good bi guy (matsunaga who just accepts injustices like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ que sera sera). i thought it would have been a stronger and more sophisticated story had they either focussed on either one theme or the other in this one route (health/life expectancy issues vs sexuality) instead of kind of having both be treated a little half-heartedly. the feeling i got was that the first step to getting closer (and i say this laughingly bc honestly the distance between them even after 30 chapters is GAPING) was the pomeranian and then the topic that gave their relationship a little more depth than “we’re just hanging out with your dog” was the revelation of his health issues. 

also the idea that people live on through your memories of them felt a little like... overdone/simple? or that it was lacking a more sophisticated engagement with the idea of death, legacy and memories. i’ve read school life shoujo manga that deals with that theme in a more interesting way. so for me, it felt a little ingenuine that it was treated by as a perspective or way of thinking about death that was like a mindblowing new way to look at life ahead, especially since the characters involved are in their 20s, not early teens. 

so anyway i think that matsunaga has potentially a deeper character? namba has more or less ‘healed’ or at least learnt to cope with his issues enough that you wouldn’t know anything is up but it’s clear that matsunaga still has a lot of personal issues to work through, so there was genuine potential to overcome some of that boss-subordinate power imbalance through having genuine connection between just humans or to develop him as a character whose prioritisation of others is maybe a flaw. i just think that they crammed so many things in that none of it really got addressed or developed properly lol.  

i will say that i find matsunaga is way less fun than namba? namba is more of a “my pace” kind of guy - he’s more random/eccentric which i enjoy. matsunaga’s persona is more just like a regular nice guy? you would NEVER find matsunaga just on the street in costume pretending to be a fortune teller for no reason but to give you random love advice? 

but on that same note, i definitely feel less chemistry between matsunaga and his mc compared to namba. maybe this is just bc i only read matsunaga’s normal ending in which she confesses and asks him out and he literally SAYS NO AND IT ENDS WITH HER GETTING REJECTED (and i’m p sure they still aren’t together even in the happy ending or the epilogue), but the whole time i feel like there was only ever a parent-child relationship between them. i never felt like matsunaga treated her any different than how he treats literally anyone else in the EICU. i actually think he treats kasumi the best out of everyone, including his mc. the weird thing is that rmd actually had way more time and potential - i mean they literally SET THE TWO CHARACTERS UP IN AN EXPLICITLY ROMANTIC CONTEXT and there was still NEGATIVE amounts of romantic chemistry??? HOW? namba and his mc literally were in a boss-subordinate dynamic the entire time and they still had more chemistry and genuine interpersonal connection without it feeling like the mc is a small pet vying for her owner’s attention the entire time while also somehow simultaneously trying to mother him? i’m not kidding when i say that namba and his mc are more fun in 10 chapters than matsunaga and his mc are in THIRTY.  

ALSO namba’s (consistent lol) berating of his mc makes sense with his character and the context and is justified every time because his mc is a thoughtless noob (but one with potential that he sees his old self in). on the other hand, matsunaga has one moment when he scolds his mc for... some reason... but because she’s supposed to be this superstar student, she doesn’t really make the mistakes that allow her those learning opportunities. and then matsunaga basically just lets her do whatever she wants re: dealing with patients.  

oh and also the plot of namba’s route is better. 

in short, matsunaga’s route had potential but i feel like the missed potential and the lack of thoughtfulness in cramming in too many themes and not making the most of them are huge negative factors. namba has a more fun character, there is SO much more romantic chemistry between him and his mc, the plot is better and more interesting and has a twist without it feeling forced, namba’s comments about his age/their age gap make more sense for his character, his sprite is more attractive (lmaoooo), the relationship development is more organic, even the moments of rejection feel both more earned and heartbreaking. tl;dr: namba wins

ALSO sorry it took me so long to reply!! i’m still half in and out of tumblr 

[aion-rsa]

Lucifer Season 5 Episode 2 Review: Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer!

https://ift.tt/3j2ttpZ

This Lucifer review contains spoilers. We have a spoiler-free review here if you prefer.

“You are different, but sometimes change is a good thing.”

Though I’m generally not a fan of the doppelganger as a primary plot device, Lucifer takes a risk and trots out our titular hero’s twin brother in a story that gives the detective a chance to solve a case and pave the way for a welcome return to the status quo. The murder investigation takes a back seat to a crime of the heart perpetuated by the archangel Michael, but “Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer!” still puts Chloe at the center of this latest challenge and provides a solid bridge toward developing her burgeoning, yet seemingly ill-fated relationship with the Devil.

Tom Ellis gets to spread his acting wings literally and figuratively here, and while his American accent falls a bit flat, that certainly can be attributed to the director’s vision of Michael’s second rate status when compared to his infinitely more well known sibling. It’s a nice touch to have Michael employ fear rather than desire as his celestial superpower, and it’s particularly meaningful when we combine his conversation with Linda and the 1994 Polaroid of her holding a baby. To this point we’ve interpreted her approach to raising Charlie as that of a typical 21st century helicopter parent, but now it appears there may be a much darker reason for her actions.

Lucifer explains to Chloe in the season premiere that time has passed much more slowly for him during his stay in the underworld, so it at first seems understandably natural that it might take some time for him to reorient himself with his former life in Los Angeles. Like Chloe, we excuse the little white lies as simply the “new Lucifer,” since his inability to lie has been one of the fundamental ironies and delights of his character. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen Dan and his pudding, and when we observe Chloe’s ex puzzle over Lucifer’s compliments and the offer of Dan’s favorite snack, it ignites a spark of recognition that this is not really Lucifer. 

Watching a naked Lucifer preen and practice in front of a full length mirror should be enough to set off our devil-sense, but after the previous episode’s uncertain ending, the possibility that it might take Lucifer some time to adjust after thousands of years in Hell seems a reasonable assumption. Nevertheless, it doesn’t take long to see that this is yet another chapter in the celestial family’s dysfunctional existence, and it will be up to Chloe and the gang to unmask this jealous imposter. Once Mazikeen discovers Michael’s truth, the fundamental question centers around how long it will take the detective to decipher the clues.

Read more

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Lucifer Season 5 Episode 1 Review: Really Sad Devil Guy

By Dave Vitagliano

TV

Lucifer Season 5 Part 1 Review (Spoiler-Free)

By Kirsten Howard

We’ve watched Dan take the first steps toward rebuilding his life after Charlotte’s tragic death, but life just refuses to cooperate when it comes to Maze and her personal relationships. After Chloe cuts her loose as a partner, it’s not at all surprising to watch her assist Michael in his plan to ruin Lucifer and Chloe’s lives and their relationship. She feels abandoned and mistreated by both. But then, despite the emotional pain she bears, Maze reveals a core value system that refuses to allow Michael to steal the purity that still exists between the Devil and the detective. We don’t know how long Chloe’s has known that Michael isn’t Lucifer, but that doesn’t matter; Mazikeen’s willingness to put her own hurt aside for her friend speaks volumes about this increasingly undemonlike demon.

In retrospect, Chloe’s understated response to Maze’s initial betrayal makes sense because, like her demon friend, she’s already concluded that the man wearing Lucifer’s designer clothes is not who he pretends to be. We get a wonderful scene between the two as Chloe reassures Maze that their friendship hasn’t been destroyed. “You’re trying to apologize in your very awkward demon way,” she tells Maze before confessing that she’s also decided to take her relationship with Lucifer to the next level. And speaking for much of the fan base, “I think we’ve waited long enough.” Yes, Chloe, we agree.

The theme of change runs continuously through the series, and even though Chloe’s insistence to Michael that she likes the new Lucifer, the subtext of her mini-speeches should become even more significant once the Devil returns to Earth. Michael  flips the script and conducts a serious interrogation of guest star Sharon Osborne as Chloe does her best to insert innuendo filled commentary into the process. Of course, Osborn thinks she’s talking to Lucifer when she expresses gratitude for the help the Devil provided her husband Ozzie – “From one Prince of Darkness to another.” Kind of cheesy, but I still like it.

That said, on the surface, it’s difficult to believe Amenadiel fails to immediately recognize Michael, but taken in conjunction with his preoccupation with baby Charlie’s safety, we’ll cut him some slack. The dynamic between Luci’s brother and his human wife is priceless as is the image of him carrying his son around strapped to his chest as Lux patrons go about their hedonistic business in the background. However, it’s Linda’s confrontation of Lucifer at the precinct that crystallizes her concern. “Who’s watching Hell?” 

On the other hand, Amenadiel can rest assured that Lucifer has the demon population of Hell well in hand, but his willingness to risk his family’s safety for the sake of the human race shows just how much he’s changed in his time on Earth. Amenadiel understands the havoc his siblings can cause and must feel it’s worth the risk to ask Lucifer to return to help prevent a potential apocalypse. It’s hard to believe Michael has given up his quest to bring his twin to heel, so we now wait for his next move and anticipate Tom Ellis’ dual portrayal.

The episode’s title makes a not so subtle reference to the 1970s sitcom The Brady Bunch, and the murder investigation of one of Anders Brody’s (sounds like Brady) participants in his Red Mars 2 project takes a back seat to the turmoil caused by Michael’s appearance. The cultural references work as Lucifer takes control in Hell while Brody backs a mission to put the first manned colony on the Red Planet. The revelation that Brody actually fears going into space and the project only serves as a publicity stunt in his competition with industry giant Jeff Bezos and real-life SpaceX founder Elon Musk seems a bit silly in hindsight.

Once Lucifer found its footing during its early seasons and established the complex web of interpersonal relationships engaged in by both humans and celestials, the procedural aspect of the show has gradually moved further into the background. Yes, the parallels between aspects of the criminal suspects and the challenges the core characters face in their personal lives continue to have meaning, and “Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer!” certainly continues that trend. It’s just that the complexity of the crimes and subsequent investigations don’t resonate as they once did. And that’s okay.

Needless to say, the episode bombshell Michael drops on Chloe as he slinks away, looks to drive the subsequent narrative, and her relationship with Lucifer faces perhaps its greatest test yet. Will Michael’s pronouncement that she’s merely a “gift from God” put on Earth to be Lucifer’s plaything resonate, or will she consider the vast body of work that comprises her history with her long time partner? 

While Michael’s interference may not be enough to sustain interest for very long, Lucifer quickly puts into motion several plot subsets that should have more staying power once the Devil returns to Earth. Lines are beginning to form, and yet again, Chloe finds herself caught in a web spun by others whose motives clearly do not align with hers.

The post Lucifer Season 5 Episode 2 Review: Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer! appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2QfxjQ7

[callsigns-haze]

His darkness, my flame: The start

Azriel and YN ended things for good. Things that happened during her release may have been bad: Azriels lies were worse. Now he lies with another she is alone at night with her son until someone breaks into her home sweet home.

Pairing: Ex!Azriel x reader....Eris x reader

This series contains mature themes: Explicit depictions of violence, including physical and emotional. Themes of secrecy. Descriptions of difficult relationships, including strained familial and romantic dynamics. Mature sexual content. Themes of power, control, and manipulation within complex interpersonal relationships. Discussions of parenthood and the challenges associated with it, including postpartum experiences

Plays as a sequel of my series His Shadow or as a own fic!

The night enveloped YN in a shroud of darkness, the only sound being the occasional rustle of leaves outside her cabin in the mountain forest. The faint glow of the moon filtered through the window, casting a silvery light that danced across her room. She stirred from a restless sleep, her eyes fluttering open to the digital clock on her bedside table that glowed ominously in the stillness—2:37 AM.

A sense of dread washed over her as she turned her head slowly to the side, careful not to disturb the peaceful slumber of her three-year-old son, Knox, who was nestled in the room beside her. The weight of silence pressed against her chest, a reminder of the responsibilities that tethered her to wakefulness.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, feeling the coolness of the sheets where Azriel used to sleep. Now he lies with that stupid high lady's sister Elain. The memories came flooding back—his gentle presence, the way he would wrap her in warmth, the way Knox had once cooed in his arms as a baby. But those days felt distant now, almost like a cruel dream.

Her fingers brushed against the rough wood of the drawer beside her, pulling it open with a soft creak. Inside, she found a small assortment of pills, a mix of painkillers and anxiolytics that she had come to rely on since fleeing the pleasure houses that had once held her captive. Each pill felt like a bittersweet promise of relief, a temporary escape from the haunting memories that lingered, reminding her of the choices she had made. She took a handful, her throat tight as she swallowed them dry, desperate for a moment of calm.

Rising from the bed, she moved quietly through the cabin, each step deliberate as she navigated the shadows. The chill in the air prickled against her skin, a stark contrast to the warmth of the memories that filled her mind. She entered the small kitchen, seeking solace in a glass of water. As she poured the cool liquid, the sound of the stream echoed in the silence, her heart racing as the night seemed to whisper secrets she wasn’t ready to hear.

But then, a soft creak shattered the tranquillity. YN turned sharply, her heart pounding in her chest. In the dim light of the kitchen, a figure sat in one of the chairs, shrouded in darkness. The flickering shadows revealed the glint of a dagger as it twirled effortlessly in the figure’s hands. Panic surged through her, and she instinctively stepped back, her body tense and ready for a fight.

“What do you want?” she demanded, her voice steady despite the fear gnawing at her insides.

The figure leaned back, the dagger spinning to a halt in his palm. “We have the same goal,” he replied, his voice smooth, yet laced with an unsettling confidence. “Revenge on the Inner Circle.”

YN narrowed her eyes, her mind racing as she tried to place the voice. “Who are you?” she asked, her breath hitching in her throat.

With a fluid motion, the figure pulled back his hood, revealing sharp features framed by tousled hair and a piercing gaze that seemed to glow even in the shadows. “Eris,” he introduced himself, a smirk playing on his lips. “Son of the Lord of Autumn. You may have heard of me.”

Recognition flickered through YN, a mix of surprise and wariness. “What do you want with me?”

Eris leaned forward, the dagger still glinting in his hand, an unsettling charm emanating from him. “You have a unique perspective on the Inner Circle’s power plays. I believe we could help each other.”

As she stood before him, uncertainty clawed at her heart. The weight of her past decisions and the tangled web of loyalties and betrayals pressed heavily upon her. The night was still young, but in this moment, with a dangerous stranger offering a path toward revenge, YN realized that her life was about to take another unpredictable turn.

A/N: let me know if you'd like to be tagged