#the mahabharata is also too damn long

[tanadrin]

john dehlin's interviews with david bokovoy on literary/textual criticism of the bible are super interesting in general, but i like how he talks about how you don't even need to know the first thing about the joseph smith papyri or the circumstances of its composition to know the book of abraham is a forgery--it's obvious from purely internal textual evidence alone that you cannot square it with any of the other books of the bible, even if you know comparatively little about the historical circumstances of the composition of the book of genesis, so focusing anti-apologetic attempts on the egyptological/archeological evidence is really a sideshow: historically interesting but not at all necessary.

in a later interview he also points out that purely from literary evidence alone we should conclude that there was probably a historical jesus of nazareth on whom the new testament figure is based--he points out that (just as now, really) the 1st century CE jewish expectation of a messiah-figure is so fundamentally contrary to the basic narrative elements of jesus's life that the nascent christian community is trying to rework into the biography of the messiah that it would make absolutely no sense for a purely invented figure. like, if you were going to invent someone (or if traditions were going to accrete around a purely fictitious character) to fulfill the basic characteristics of the messiah, you would think they would get basic assumptions about what the messiah is supposed to do right, and you wouldn't have to invent a completely new theology to make it work--that they did is indicative not of an invented figure, but of a real person for whom inconvenient biographical facts well-known to the community had to be renegotiated and reworked (and even then could only be renegotiated and reworked to a certain point). no one is going to invent a myth about someone who completely fails to meet every expectation of the messiah, as he puts it.

also--it strikes me that mormonism is really fuckin' verbose for a religion adding new scripture. like. okay, islam adds a whole new book (the qur'an), and it's not short, but at the same time it abrogates the hebrew bible and the new testament, so as a muslim you don't need to read those. mormonism adds not only a book longer than the new testament (~269k words to the NT's ~185k in English), the book of abraham, the book of moses, and doctrines and covenants, and the other stuff in the Pearl of Great Price, and it keeps the bible as part of the canon! that's too much damn scripture!

personally i think your religious scripture is more likely to come off as timeless if you keep it short. like, the ideal length of a holy book is the tao te ching (around 20,000 words in English). prophets and shit need to resist the urge to put every single petty grievance into sacred scrolls. save that shit for the commentary.

[ambidextrousarcher]

Sarcastic StarBharat Reviews- Episode 20: Sarcastic StarBharat Reviews-Episode 20: In which there is a fake war, and Ms. Melodrama becomes angsty.

The review is under the cut. 

Tagging @milesbianmorales @mayavanavihariniharini @medhasree @shaonharryandpannisim @ambitiousandcunning @jigyask @allegoriesinmediasres @hermioneaubreymiachase @avani008 @ratnas-musings @whydoyoucareaboutmyusername @bleedinknight @justahappyreindeer @iamnotthat @chaanv and @ruminationsofaraven

This episode begins with Glitterwash. (I can already tell I’ll rant, like, A LOT) He’s climbing something to the tune of badass yet really irritating music, his bow and arrow in his hands. He touches his bow and arrow to his forehead and then throws the both of them into the river. What is this unnecessary drama for…? There comes a peacock feather and Krishn is picking up the bow from water that’s also populated with lotuses. This lecture is about parents wanting their children to be happy. Scene switches to Ms. Melodrama, clearly the precap scene. Priyamvada’s voice echoes in her mind as she flashes back to her friend telling her that as long as the thread is tied around her wrist, she must not reveal the truth to her husband. Ms. Melodrama thinks that she must be wholly devoted to her husband, and hiding secrets lessens it. (Ah. They are turning even Kunti into a doormat, I see. I thought it was just for uwu Glitterwash’s sake they did that, but no, they are ruining her whole character) She resolves to tell him the truth. Honey Boy enters the chambers as she unties the thread. She twists the thread in her hands as the camera pans on Honey Boy as he walks to Ms. Melodrama. “Kunti,” he says, smiling and taking a brooch out, “This choodamani symbolizes her husband to a woman, by wearing it in her hair, she assigns her husband the highest position in her life,” He pauses, “but I do not approve of this. I’ll put it in your hair as a symbol of love and trust.” (Erm, experienced people, please tell me whether this choodamani thing existed in real life or not.) Also, uh, why is Honey Boy so soft? IDK. StarBharat universe, I guess. He struggles to put the brooch in her hair. “Handling a women’s hair seems to be harder than running a Kingdom,” Dude. You haven’t run the Kingdom yet. The one meeting I saw, your Drama Queen brother walked out on you, and your Tathshree did what else he could. That’s it. “You have the aid of your ministers to run your Kingdom, Maharaj,” she says. “But my hair is yours alone to decorate.” Ahhh. Help! Anyway, he manages to set the hairpin right. “May I say something?” he asks. “I really liked the question you asked in the Swayamvar.” Uh, what canon fail was the Swayamvar again? Let me check…ah, yeah. Canon fail #33. “I was lost. I wished that moment itself that my answer to your question should be the right one.” Okay, non-existent questions aside, let’s move on, or so I hope. Obviously, we can’t be that lucky. She says, “The moment I saw you, I too wished that you would answer my question from your heart.” “Did you want to test my intelligence or my heart?” Oh, my, Lord and Lady of Cheesy Lines! “A person tests only that he wishes to acquire,” she replies. “You’re amazing, you managed to test my heart and win it with merely one question!” “A king should not lose his heart so quickly. The worth of the person asking for the King’s heart must also be tested.” “Are you doubting my selection, or are you flaunting your talent?” Okay, I have a question. Just who wrote such cringe lines, dude? “I was just telling you something. Justice should be decided by you.” “My married friends say that a man testing his wife is himself tested.” Er…how do I make sense of this? “So I am give another test? Tell me. What is the matter?” “I wanted to say…” starts Ms. Melodrama, starting to drop the black thread on the floor. Just at that moment, drums start beating. Both of them turn. “What is this?” asks Honey Boy. “Whose message is it at this time?” “What is it?” asks Ms. Melodrama. “The beat of the drums conveys a message. I’m sure it’s a serious matter. I should go to the sabha.” Ms. Melodrama looks forlornly as he leaves. Scene switches to the sabha. “You cannot go for a battle immediately! You have just been married.” Satyavati clearly wants to protect her grandson. “My duty comes before personal pleasure.” Ladies and gentlemen, here’s an example of ‘it’s easy to say, hard to do,’ as this guy literally dies because he pursues his pleasure AFTER BEING TOLD EXPLICITY that nope, dude, you’ll die if you do. I’m sure this isn’t canon, either. But if it is…well, he actually does die pursuing his pleasure. The dialogue continues. “If there is an opportunity for war, then it is my duty to take it.” “I can deploy the soldiers for war. For a King, no battle is his last” This is Bhishm. Um, a question? What if a King dies in battle? Maybe that doesn’t happen in the StarBharat verse. Mr. Drama Queen intercedes here. “However, the first battle remains the first.” (Wait, this is Pandu’s first war? His sons were way younger, then…when they warred for the first time.) “The people would be doubtful about the caliber of the new King, Taathshree. Pandu has to exhibit his strength as soon as he can. Forgive me, Taathshree, but I believe so. For all that I might be blind, I know how to fight a battle.” You know, I think canon Dhritrashtra may be as whiny as this guy, but not so publicly. And that’s where they failed his character. “I’ll go myself.” He finishes. Honey Boy, not to be outdone, says, “Jyeshth Bhraata is right, Taathshree. To help the King of Madra is our duty. Whoever has warred on Madra has done thinking that I am a new King, and newly married. Hence, I would have neither the courage nor the inclination to help Madra. The enemy wants to test me, and I will definitely give that test.” This is said to the sweeping BGM of the title song. Hang on, this seems suspiciously like canon fail #44. I don’t recall Madra needing to be rescued, in fact, I actually recall something along the lines of Bhishm paying Shalya Madri’s bride price and bringing her home. (Correct me if I am wrong.) Also, here we come to canon fail #45. Er…aren’t Madra and Kururashtra separate? I don’t think they both fall under Pandu’s jurisdiction. Nor do they seem exactly allied yet. Kururashtra is hardly the samrat of a Rajasuya right now, that honor goes to Indraprastha very late in the future. “Have you thought about Kunti?” interjects Satyavati. “She will be heartbroken! What answer will you give her?” Everyone looks tense. Scene switches to Ms. Melodrama, pacing her room anxiously. She whirls when Honey Boy enters, striding to him. “What happened, husband? Is it grave news?” “The same news that delights one can be grave for the other.” Why is this guy pontificating right now, really? “A husband and wife are not two different people, they are one. What is good news for you is good news for me, too.” Oh, this I expected from Ms. Melodrama. “An allied Kingdom has been attacked. I have to leave for war, right now. Rajmata and Taathshree said that someone else can go with the army but I told them that this duty is the King’s. I will go on war myself. I should have asked you for advice before I took this decision, but…” “No, husband. You have taken a decision worthy of a King. If the King of Hastinapur took any other decision, I would have lost hope.” “I know that the Queen would be happy, but I want to know my wife’s heart. If you are angry at me, then you have the right, Kunti.” She turns away from him. “A lunar eclipse happens only to the full moon. Yet, after the eclipse, the same moon is brighter and more beautiful. I will wait for you. When will you leave?” Um, you’re not supposed to be that poetic! “Right now. This instant. If I so wish, I could spend the night with you, Kunti, but that would be myself succumbing to a weakness. And when one succumbs once, he is weak for the rest of his life.” High sounding words for a guy who literally dies of his weakness for Madri. But hey, perhaps he has no idea of that weakness.

“I want to be your strength, husband, I will not be your weakness. I too am a Queen. You will return victorious, I believe in you.” She does an aarti of him, but halts before she applies the tilak. “Do you want to say something, Kunti? Tell me if there is anything in your heart.” “No, husband. My heart only carries prayers for you. May you always be victorious. I will be waiting for you.”  Damn. This much sweetness…I can’t. He leaves, yet turns back once to look yearningly at Kunti, this is giving me Arjun/Draupadi vibes, but no, they are not like that, Pandu and Kunti, as far as I know. They nod at each other with smiles. This reminds me of the whole scene where the Pandavas are arrested in the future, and Arjun tries to convince Panchali to leave for Kampilya, but she shakes her head and he nods, both near tears. (Okay, this is Nila being Arjun-mad as usual, but it is kind of a foil scene.) He leaves. Outside, the army waits, crying out “Har har Mahadev!” Kunti and Pandu lock eyes for a moment as they exchange nods once more and he says “Depart!”, leaving with the army. Ms. Melodrama, of course, is crying. The scene flashes forward a few months. Ms. Melodrama is waiting for Honey Boy to return, of course in tears. Ms. Always Patnidharma touches her shoulder, giving her a lecture in Patnidharma. “Forgive me, sister, I did not want to hurt any of you by my behavior.” “Why have you stopped eating then?” What? This is canon fail #46. Kunti is a warrior maiden, a mother of warriors. She does not do shit like this, I’m sure. This is meant to be a Mahabharata retelling, not yet another abala nari thing. “What else can I do? Before, we got messages, now even that is not coming.” “If there is no news, it means that there is no news worth giving, that’s all. But it also means that there’s no bad news.” “I thirst to hear the sound of the drums.” Ah! So much sappiness, even I can’t deal with it. If you want to write angst, write believable angst, guys, please!  “Believe in the King,” says Ms. Always Patnidharma. Of course, at that exact moment, because this serial is the most clichest ever, the drums start beating. The episode ends to the tune of dramatic BGM. Precap: “Maharaj Pandu has triumphed over his enemies in the war.” Vidur announces, while Honey Boy himself is galloping towards Hastina in a chariot. “Rajmata,” continues Vidur, “The King of Madra has made Maharaj Pandu his son-in-law.” Canon fail, this, remember? Scene switches to Ms. Melodrama standing in the entrance of the palace to welcome Honey Boy, as Madri makes her entry from behind the King. Oh, and if anyone was wondering why the unexplained hiatus happened yet again, it was because I kept dropping off at how boring this episode was, really. Maybe things have the potential to look up soon, let’s hope.

[demonkidpliz]

Things I learned while re-watching Star Plus Mahabharata (Part 11/many):

1) Kunti be like I fucked up so bad with Draupadi, I’m now banning myself from giving any advice.

2) Yay! Krishna and Kunti are meeting. My two favourite statesmen.

3) Krishna talking about parenthood with Kunti because he has so much experience being father of the universe.

4) Krishna passing through the sun and his crown glinting like the luminous Buddha 😍

5 Who’s benefit does Shakuni do all these theatrics for? Both his sister and brother-in-law are blind.

6) Arjun and Krishna are 😍

7) Kakashri Vidur is here! He does not look happy about all the polyandry.

8) Shakuni when Bhishma walks in to stop the coronation, so close!

9) Bhishma introducing himself as Shantanu’s son and calling Dhritarashtra, son.

10) Karna is such an upstart. He thinks he can challenge Bhishma?

11) Duryodhan’s hair is so damn fine.

12) Bhishma is like Ghatotkatch can’t be a Kuru but he can be my great grandson. Wtf.

13) Bhishma is like first you marry a rakshasi, then you have a half rakshas baby. Now you’re telling me all five of you have married this princess? Adharm!

14) I feel so bad for Bhishma. He loves this family so much. And it’s not even his family, technically.

15) I love Arjun so much. He always puts the women in his life front and centre. Even when everyone else is busy ignoring them.

16) Bhishma is like oh no the adharmi girl has come to talk to me.

17) Draupadi is here passing some Mjolnir test.

18) Yudhisthira making some very good points in favour of Draupadi. Where was this keen insight when she was being dragged to the court by her hair to be stripped?

19) Arjun is going to do something stupid. My spidey senses are tingling.

20) Ah Arjun finally did the stupid thing. He drew weapons in court.

21) Karan is undergoing some chemical transformation wtf. Kunti be like 👀

22) At least OG granddaddy is back on the Pandava’s side.

23) Bhishma is now rightfully pissed at Vidur for suggesting they split up their kingdom. Shakuni did not see this coming.

24) Duryodhana says this is his rashtra and he will not share it with his cousins. Apart from the fact that he sounds like a petulant child, the man’s got a point.

25) Dhritarashtra has many faults but being an indecisive little bitch tops that list.

26) Wtf why are these men even allowing themselves to be tied up and carted off like common criminals.

27) This scene is so sad. Bhim loves Panchali the most, who loves Arjun the most, who will eventually go on to love Subhadra the most.

28) Bhishma is so sexy when he’s mad. Real (grand)daddy vibes.

29) Shakuni playing the long game in order to maximise the Kurus’ sufferings.

30) Dhritarashtra playing the blind card one more time. In Starbharat, Dhritarashtra is not a good person, he is not attached to Vidur and his uncle. In most other stories he is. Here he’s smarming up to Bhishma who is stupid enough not to see through it. Or is he?

31) Draupadi is so smart. Kunti chose a good successor. Seriously with an evil uncle like Dhritarashtra, and a useless uncle like Vidur and no father, the Pandavas would have died out of it weren’t for Kunti, and later Draupadi.

32) I see. Bhishma bartered away his freedom to Dhritarashtra so that he would divide the kingdom and give one half to the Pandavas.

33) I’m so glad they showed made Arjun wearing white canon in this show. Sometimes I love Starbharat so fucking much. To be fair, I realised that even BR Chopra Mahabharat made Arjun wear white. But they took away his real name, something I can never forgive.

34) Dhritarashtra gave Yudhisthira 1 lakh cows. Score.

35) Dhritarashtra keeping Kunti captive as insurance is some A+ politicking. Shakuni is like, I’ve taught you well, Jijaji.

36) “Ek rajya de kar, Tatshri ne bohut kuch cheen liya.” Arjun. My boy. My man.

37) Bhishma: one day your city will be the capital of all of Aryavarta 😭😭 He was right!

38) Shakuni is suggesting they cuckold Yudhisthira but with a capital city?

39) Finally the Gandiva has come out. About time, Arjun. Wait, this is not the Gandiva. Nevermind.

40) Just when I’m about to lose hope, Yudhisthira comes out and shows he has brains.

41) Arjun, it’s time to meet your bio dad.

42) Takshak is also a dramatic little bitch.

43) Indra. Is. So. Extra. What is with all this lightning? Now I understand Arjun a little better.  

44) Fairly certain it was Arjun AND Krishna that burnt down Khandavprastha together, thereby starting the massive deforestation process in India. But Starbharat has a way of excluding Krishna from key moments in the Pandava’s life. But not Draupadi’s.

45) Daddy is here!

46) And Arjun is so happy to see him for the first time!

47) But daddy is calling him Pandav putra :/

48) Indra: you are a boy! Arjun: I am your boy! 😍

49) Seriously though, why is Arjun such a suck up.

50) Indra (and also the rest of the world): Arjun! Stop trying to act cute!

51) The gods in heaven munching popcorn as they watch the Olympic Games between Indra and his son.

52) Oh my god the Sudarshan Chakra is here!

53) Indra is like I have PTSD from this Chakra and the person who wields it.

54) Arjun can barely contain his glee now that his bff is back.

55) Okay, I was wrong. Krishna is here.

56) Indra is like dis bitch.

57) Erm, did Arjun consult the other five before naming the capital Indraprastha?

58) Gandiva is also here!

59) Vrushali is trying to go back to Indraprastha like the girl who went out for a smoke and Karna is now the bouncer of the nightclub who won’t let her back in.

60) Kunti is here. What a boss ass bitch. Now Hastinapur will get to experience all her badassery.

61) Kunti calling Karna out on his envy of a royal crown. This is the shit I live for. Lalsa =\= kartavya.

62) Dushasan is like Kunti will run Hastinapur the way her sons order her to. Like, bro, it’s the way around.

63) Karna’s obsession with Arjun is a little...unsettling.

64) Of course with his back to the wall, Duryodhana has to play the caste card.

65) Sometimes Duryodhana and Dushasan do something so horror-movie horrifying that even Shakuni flinches and stops to take a breath. Think about Jesus.

66) Does Karna on some level know Kunti is his bio mom or does he just like to act all extra around her?

67) Kunti telling Karna that her sons have to establish themselves as independent before she can visit them. Yas, queen! She’s literally the embodiment of every helicopter Asian mom that hauled their mediocre son’s ass to greatness.

68) Oh dear, Bhim is pissed. Wait, why is Krishna STILL HERE?

69) “Spasht kahiye, Madhav.” Oh Arjun, my sweet, sweet, summer child. This is the first in a lifetime of Krishna speaking to you in riddles. My suggestion is you get on board, otherwise he’ll have to write a whole book to explain to you what is going on.

70) “Main spasht kaise keh sakta hoon, Parth?” What did I JUST SAY.

71) Is Karna…flirting?

72) Oh no, four junior Pandavas have reached Hastinapura. Hold up, Krishna is here too? Seriously, what is his issue? This is not even his business! Also, why is he always sitting in a chariot. Does he not know how to ride a horse?

73) If I had a penny for every time Karna says, “dhanush uthao, Arjun,” I would be as rich as the Kurus.

74) I am so glad Krishna has a resting bitch face.

75) Glad to see that Arjun and Krishna are now in the communicating with only glances, no words, point in their relationship.

76) Every time Krishna sees a single woman, his little matchmaker heart starts fluttering, I swear to God.

77) Of course, he knows Vrushali’s name even though no one ever mentioned it.

78) Krishna is here to outfeminist Arjun and I love it.

79) Why was the Gandiva in Draupadi’s room to begin with? This is what happens when you don’t pack properly.

80) I see Yudhishthira has already started with his chausar ways.

81) Now Draupadi is extra sad because her fav has to be in exile.

82) I mean. I feel like. Yudhisthira could have suggested once that Arjun not go for exile. But no, he is going to be all Ram Chandra about this.

83) Krishna is like, after all this, you have to…*check notes*…marry my sister.

[raat-jaaga-paakhi]

In Bimonthly Discussions with Shaon Di’s @distapata​. - II

Responding to this post. 

Much like you, Shaon Di, it varies from project to project for me, as it probably should. I will mostly take what I call my master-fandom in consideration here, because it’s what I am focusing on currently and...well, haha, since the canon is in public domain, the master-WIP is as much fanfiction as it is an original work. ;P 

Considering there is this huge bunch of canon that I mostly need to stick to (like you), if only to take the skeleton (main events, plot - you know the drill) of the story and considering I have been fangirling over Mahabharata et al for some 6 years now, I can’t really say how much is enough for me to find it worthy to be written, to invest huge-ass hours and all. But well, in my messed-up head, nothing is ever enough for something as vast as this. I keep forming theories and I keep forming HCs about character motivations, about the politics and the society...heck, I even keep oscillating between what timeline I will put this in, since it decides how I see the culture in those days, and world-building is arguably fully dependent on the time period. So, yeah, there’s that, for one. 

Like you, I too am a passionate daydreamer (*cough* role-playing behind closed doors and getting caught and laughed at by family *cough*), and I think up this...rather audacious scenarios that I can never put into a “serious” project, lol. I am one of those damned people who lean towards not writing stuff which doesn’t sit within the soul of canon. I absolutely adore reading canon divergences (and in my “serious WIPs” I am even rather cruel to those canon stuff that doesn’t seem to flow with respect to the body of the text, the individual characters, and either cut them off, or tweak them as far as justifications can go), but writing AUs is not my cup of tea. I am the sad small bean, that can only daydream. *makes pitiful face* ;P 

The only time I am accepting of AUs in my own works is when an alternate scenario plays out in my character’s head, when they themselves think of what-ifs...and well, then it isn’t really an AU, is it? It is like a... teaser, of what could have been, for both the character within and the reader without. 

Rest of my process is rather frighteningly similar to Shaon Di’s linear method under “fanfiction”, as you can see in this post. Haha, thanks to you, I don’t have to try to sort out the mess in my head more, lol. ;D

I look at the master-fandom as I would at an original work, with harsh scrutiny, and since, er, what we call “canon” is rather full of inconsistencies itself, I gotta treat these people as original characters too. Also, there is the dearth of female characters overall, and I balk at things like “oh, the text doesn’t mention Satyabhama’s mother, so she is dead, yay”. Um, no. Literature is full of dead and dying women, and for the sake of what? So there is that - I have to weave in original dynamics between these “new” characters and the canon ones. And this is only one example of the original stuff I have to insert. There is a lot of reading between the lines, too, which I guess any serious fanfiction writer would do. Basically what Shaon Di herself said about filling all the holes. 

Also also, regarding the time period, if one has to do some dating, we will find the Mahabharata is most likely to fall in the transition from Bronze to Iron Age (at least in my mind), which is what one may call the “Vedic period”, which…kinda has a completely different organisational setting than what we see in the Mahabharata text? (Let’s not even speak of the TV adaptations.) For one, there is hardly any rigid, hierarchical “caste” structure (may I quickly say that Purusha Suktam is kinda misunderstood - they saw words like Brahmin-Shudra etc. and they just jumped “here’s the caste system, Rig Veda advocates casteism!”), or a repression of females (which one may still debate, yes). There is this famous hymn which seems to strongly advocate democracy. Basically, much different from the social structure as we see in Mahabharata. In a nutshell, I have a lot of extrapolations to do, since when a “story” is actually written down (and by whom) has a lot to do with the canon portrayals.

I will unashamedly quote Shaon Di here, because she gives this excellent, brilliant, Medha-has-no-words-except-incoherent-ahs-and-hms-and-yasss analogy of how she views a story (because I am not this eloquent by far, and I have only rambled in a very unorganized manner throughout this, lol) – 

Think of your story like a human body.

Skeleton is the theme. The concept.

Blood is the undercurrents, the 'vibe’.

Organs are the characters.

Veins and arteries are the relationships.

Flesh is your plot.

Skin is the sub plots and side plots.

 Ahahahahahahahahahahaha, look at this! (I am cutting out a lot of my shameless fangirling here, much to the displeasure of Shaon Di herself, because…eh, I can get far too excited about you freakishly intelligent, inspiring, creative people.) This is just so perfect! *chef’s kiss*

For me too, as long as I have got a nice grasp of the skeleton, organs, blood, veins and arteries, I have got it under control. Who are you duping, Medha, you are so out of it. I am not too concerned about flesh and skin because, eh, I believe in letting the organs, veins and arteries guide it. It is more...organic that way, I feel. Lol, this became kinda too biological; I can’t articulate like Shaon Di. 

What actually gets stuff into my to-write list is based (very broadly) on: (1) Can I pull this off? (2) Am I invested enough or Is this worth my time? (this is probably the hardest question to answer, and the most challenging for any project to get a “yes”) and (3) Will at least a few people like to read this shit? – If I get a yes for all, yep gal, you’re in. I mostly concentrate on the first two, personally. I can make stuff people-friendly after I have gotten it out of my system. ;P 

Thank you for hosting this, Didi; I had fun reading your posts and writing this! :D 

[tessatechaitea]

The Invisibles #5

It says "Crash the bus" on the back cover and I fucking get it so hard.

My inherent nihilism doesn't show often because, ultimately, I believe in a humanitarian morality based around kindness and compassion, built upon the foundational belief that nothing exists beyond our short lifespans and any act of wanton cruelty which makes any part of that short and challenging life more difficult for another person is the only true evil in the universe. But I feel the statement, "Crash the bus," deep down in my bones sometimes. Maybe it stems from a carefree and flirtatious relationship with suicidal ideation that allows me to embrace the idea of burning it all down. Most people want safety and comfort and will bargain with the devil to keep as much of that safety and comfort as possible, no matter how illusory it may be (because we have to face the fact that a good illusion may as well be reality). We're living in a Jenga tower where we refuse to restablilize the base even though it's teetering on just three misplaced blocks. And because of that, the amount of true reform that can be applied to this system is limited to what shapes can stand upon those three blocks. Most people are willing to work in that paradigm because they're afraid of starting completely over and losing their current safety and comfort, or because they think those three blocks are too sacred to remove. But imagine if you kicked out those three blocks, or, to sort of get back to the original analogy, crashed the bus into them and brought the whole tower down. Imagine the stable structure you could build if you started from a foundation that was built to support a better, kinder, more just system rather than trying to build that better system on a foundation not meant to support anything like it. Just because a structure has stood for over two hundred years doesn't mean it's still worth living in today, or maintaining its upkeep simply because we've always maintained its upkeep. I often dream of crashing the bus. And believe me, I don't fantasize about it because I think I'll survive the crash. I fantasize about it because I don't think I'll survive the ride. On the inside cover of this issue, there's a brief description of who and what The Invisibles are. "An organization dedicated to subversive activity in all its forms...the only rule of the organization is disobedience." In an earlier The Invisibles review, I believe I equated this organization to the Upright Citizens Brigade (specifically the show and not the comedy troupe). It's probably why I understood this comic book from page one. My intro or about page on Facebook has simply said this for however long I've been on the cursed site: "My only enemy is the status quo. My only friend is chaos" (that's stolen from the Upright Citizens Brigade intro, just to be clear). So I really can't remember why I stopped reading this comic book. It was right up my alley, even at twenty-three! I highly suspect I just lost track of it because I was a terribly disorganized comic book collector. I just realized King Mob is Grant Morrison's Mary Sue, isn't he? I had an image of him in my head but I just checked the Internet to makes sure he did look just like King Mob and, well, the Internet confirmed my suspicions. Also while scanning Morrison's Wikipedia entry, I noticed a short paragraph about Morriosn noting the similarities between The Invisibles and The Matrix. You know, like I noticed as well! Me! I noticed it too! Try to remember that these reviews are really just reviews about me and no the comic books I'm pretending to read but really just looking at the pictures.

Morrison just puts the pieces of the puzzle on the table and you're supposed to put them together. But who does fucking puzzles?! Boring!

In my 30s, I planned on reading every holy book and writing copious amounts of commentary from a person who wasn't taught the dogma behind the words and was simply trying to understand the book with the words that were there. I made it about forty pages through Genesis with nearly three hundred pages of commentary and then the project just sort of petered out. I suppose I'm still alive so I can always restart this project. But sometimes life has a way of kicking you in the brain by distracting you and suddenly eighteen years have gone by and you're all, "What's the fucking point?" The Mahabharata was going to be one of those books. I read part of it in college but damned if I can remember any of it. Hell, I was even going to read Dianetics! I was going to save the Quran for last just in case I invoked the rage of some fundamentalist psycho for interpreting something in the book literally as opposed to the way it's been taught according to centuries of dogma (I was pretty sure I was going to offend Christians as well but Christian fundamentalists are mostly lazy, selfish bastards who wouldn't dare take any risks to disrupt their Earthly life for their spiritual beliefs). The few bits I've read from the Quran that line up with Genesis were far more interesting in the way they sort of held a dialogue with The Bible. Like when Abraham apparently went to sacrifice his only son in The Bible and the book claims it was Isaac. And yet the only time Abraham had an only son was before Isaac was born and his only son was Ishmael. So, you know, it sounds pretty much like The Bible is lying about what happened while the Quran is just telling it like it is (although I'm not sure the Quran ever names the child so that's another part of the mystery! Maybe it was Isaac and somehow Ishmael just didn't count as a true son for reasons. You know the reasons. Maid's sons don't count is the reason). After teaching about Indian puppetry, Morrison gives the reader a lengthy scene of Lord Byron and Percy Bysshe Shelley discussing their roles as poets in the betterment of the world. With all these conversations of dead artists who died young, I wonder if Grant Morrison is bitter that he's lived so long? Anyway, George and Percy have some interesting things to say but this isn't a synopsis but a review. Also I don't like to comment on things I don't understand, like intelligent dialogue and beautiful poetry and earnest compassion.

Meanwhile, Jack Frost learns that the most important part of being an Invisible is being more paranoid than the next guy.

King Mob has to get back to England after his Indian puppet show and a visit to a Ganesh statue but he hates flying. So instead, he takes a shortcut through the future where the world has been ravaged by a great war and the Berlin Wall was rebuilt but bigger. Probably not to keep people on either side of it (the world seems mostly devastated) but probably just because the few fascist assholes still alive felt building a monument to being controlling dicks was the right thing to do to celebrate. Some mysterious guy without a face takes the face of some kids' father in a park somewhere at some point. It's hard to tell if this story has a place in time that can be considered the "now" being that King Mob is in a ravaged future and Byron and Shelley are in a long gone past and Jack Frost is in the present. Oh, that's probably the now! And the guy who stole the face of the other guy is probably in Jack's now time. King Mob returns to his Invisibles cell with information about their next mission. He also lets everybody know that Orlando is currently in London. I think it was Orlando who stole the face of the guy in the park. But that's just supposed to raise the tension because the Invisibles are going to leave their bodies behind in present day London as they time travel to the French Revolution. If we didn't know about Orlando, we would just be all, "Okay, cool! I guess they're time traveling and leaving their bodies so it'll be safe. Not because there are no threats from long-lived assassins without their own faces but because it's fucking time travel and I imagine they can return to their bodies the exact moment in which they left them!" Although the idea that the amount of time they spend in the past is equal to the amount of time their bodies sit unguarded makes a lot more sense than having somebody from the future tell Bill and Ted in his past that their clock is always ticking no matter where they are in time. I mean, it just doesn't make any sense! Especially when they break the rules later and will probably shit all over the time travel rules of their own established universe in the upcoming movie. Anyway, I like the idea that their spirits leave their bodies in the present in this time travel and that the spirits are away exactly as long as they spend in the past. That actually makes sense to me! The Invisibles #5 Rating: B+. Well, thanks a lot, twenty-three year old asshole me from the past! You just had to stop buying this comic book, didn't you?! And now I have to suffer not knowing what happens! Although I suppose you also suffered that and you seemed to have been fine. Aside from having no ambition and never finishing any writing projects and killing all of your dreams to play more video games. You know. Aside from that, you did just fine. Yeah. Real fine. Idiot.

[kkumarsatyam]

Science, Religion and …..Hinduism ?

Much of the eastern civilization has not seen the discourse on Science vs. Religion in a similar modus operandi as the contemporary western civilization. Much of the speculation regarding the reason behind this asymmetry is centered around the differences between cultural and societal tendencies towards progress. Some times, it may be driven by prejudice and chauvinism, other times, it may just be a casual stereotyping. But it is existent nevertheless. “Our society is better than theirs, hence it is in their backwardness to stay religious“, this kind of mentality is not scarce. I may attempt to revive the fact that religion is not just another form of a comic-con like activity that we are obsessed with, while maintaining the subjectivity of a practicing Hindu.

It is very natural to romanticize some particular things, people or time. We develop a tendency to pronounce the merits of an entity and find excuses for its drawbacks. Cultural jingoism is merely an exaggerated phenomenon of the same. But often, negative ethnocentrism does emanate from cross cultural interactions and finally xenophobia perpetuates into the system to the extent that individuals develop low esteem towards their parent culture, which ends up being worryingly destructive for that particular culture. The game with religion, is not so simple however.

From an oversimplification of the thought process of major world religions like Christianity and Islam, it seems to me that there exists, a single story, from which most of their doctrines derive. From a scientific perspective, these stories in turn, deliver an impression of having their genesis in morality and intentions for an optimized societal growth.

For example, in ancient world, patriarchy was inevitable in order to achieve optimum economic growth, since states were war-centered and women were required to be the instruments to hold the house and raise the kids. And religion validated this subtle proffer. The examples can be very obviously noticed in Hindu narratives as well. The stories where women have given up their life to defend their husband’s honor, and stories where women have walked through fire to prove their fidelity. All religions have time and again, glorified man worshiping. Since the modern society needs more doctors and engineers, and other gender neutral professionals, there is no wonder that questioning this particular doctrine of all religions has become so obviously necessary.

Same goes with morality as well. To maintain order in the society, a system was needed where there had to be an all-mighty all-powerful God, who is all good and benevolent, and will punish the wrongdoers. The belief in heaven and hell and so many other fables actually led to a morally abiding civilization. Who knows for fact that even if a God exists, he/she may actually be apathetic towards his/her own creation ?

But there is a major difference between Abrahamic and non-Abrahamic religions. The stories and narratives in Abrahamic religions are existentially essential to themselves whereas religions like Greek, Norse and Hinduism do not even fit in the description of “religion” from certain perspective.

To make it clear, I am a Christian only if I wholly believe in the narrative of how Adam and Eve committed the original sin of disobedience by consuming the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden. And how it damned their pro-genies for all eternity. And how God later incarnated as his own son Jesus, from virgin Mary, who then suffered to atone for the original sin.  And how humans, children of Adam and Eve, who are originally sinners by birth, can only be “saved” from eternal damnation by believing in this narrative and believing that Jesus suffered for us. The people believing other wise will be damned to a christian hell for all eternity for the original sin committed by Adam and Eve.

Now, I might insult the sentiments of Christians if I say Jesus was a homosapien born of Mary and Joseph, and not from the divine father. Or if I say that we did not descend from Adam and Eve, but we have evolved from early primates, as suggested by scientific and empirical evidences. This is exactly the much popular discourse in the modern western world where scientific temperament asks for a boycott of religion.

The reason why this discourse is not as popular in pagan cultures is because of the relative importance of their narratives in the entire religion. The stories of Ramayana and Mahabharata have an imperative but non-paramount role in building Hinduism. The doctrines of Hinduism do not ask for an authority to validate someone as a Hindu. So, technically you can be a Hindu without actually believing that somebody really lifted an entire mountain on his pinkie. Or somebody had the power of replacing his decapitated head with a fresh one from the pool of ten heads he had received as a boon. A Hindu, unlike a Christian doesn’t need to believe in this story to call himself a Hindu.

Besides, the narratives themselves have a contrast. While Christianity teaches that we all are originally sinners, Hinduism teaches that we all are originally divine, and that the divine consciousness(Brahman) and the self(Atman) are only separated by illusion(Maya), but are actually all the same. Hinduism just tells us to realize the divinity within ourselves. Yet this description is non mandatory for a Hindu to affiliate to.

So what is Hinduism, or any other religion about? Is it just about God?

Actually, religion is much more than theology or mythology. Religion affects us in our daily lives more than we can imagine. It affects us directly if we let it and it affects us indirectly through the people around us. All religions have a role in fulfilling the necessity of constructing moral obligations. I fully agree with Sam Harris that science is enough as a guide towards morality. But the important thing to remember is that if A can replace or substitute B, it does not mean that A can also replace C. The Science vs Religion discourse makes sense only in a mutually contradicting scenario, where one strictly contradicts the other. It is impossible for Science and Religion to go hand in hand only if the religion is dogmatically resistant to science. But if the religion is resilient, instead of being resistant towards science, mutual co-existence is very much plausible. Religion can have a supernumerary role in determining moral values as it has done for centuries already. But it has to be non-dogmatic.

Now the question naturally arises, that if one does not believe in a creator God and one openly declares to be an agnostic or an atheist, how does religion then catch up? This can be answered by a very unique religion, you guessed it right, Hinduism.

There are six orthodox and three heterodox schools of Indian philosophy. You may be surprised to know that eight out of these nine schools of thought are actually atheistic. Not even agnostic, but strictly atheistic. Only one of these schools (Vedanta) leads way to worshiping a creator deity, and that too in various forms like monotheism, polytheism, pantheism, deism, pan-deism, etc.

Many notable and eminent personalities have identified themselves as Hindu Atheists, such as the eminent economist and Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen. The point to be noted here is that a Hindu Atheist is different from a regular Atheist. It should not be confused with an atheist who is culturally Hindu. For example, a person who does not believe in the existence of God but celebrates Holi and Diwali is not necessarily a Hindu Atheist. From this viewpoint, even Muslim atheists and Christian atheists can exist, which actually sounds nonsensical. Somebody who celebrates thanksgiving and Christmas, but does not believe in the divinity of Christ, can be called an Atheist, but who is culturally christian. But an Atheist cannot be Christian. A Hindu Atheist is somebody who uses specific methods and texts, to build his or her disbelief in the existence of God, just as how believers build their own belief. They adhere to a school of philosophy in the Indian thought, although it isn’t much popular in today’s world. Other atheists are usually the people who are presented with religious teachings, but decide not to consider them seriously.

I personally identify as Agnostic. The idea of confidently claiming that this is the ultimate physical realm, and it does not need an intelligent creator, when science can’t already answer all the questions of the universe, is simply too overwhelming for me. According to me, Atheism has a similar burden of proof to reach as Theism. And, God does need to show more often to take me to the side of strong believers.

So, now that it is clear that Hinduism is not dogmatic or perverse to new ideas, what has the scope reduced to?

It is actually unfair to say that the scope of Hinduism will be reduced. A religion in which the narratives are independent and not much embedded into the central thought will only metamorphose into a perfect pro-scientific culture. Stories will still play an important role. The concepts of Karma Yoga as mentioned in the Bhagvada Purana and the  concept of Nyay and Mimasa can have no heresy. Somethings are simply highly objective.

Maybe there was no eighteen day long bloody battle which reddened the soil of Kurukshetra but the strong character developments of the people in the epic of Mahabharata have left behind more lessons than a dozen teachers in our real life. Making the point to argue about the authenticity of the stories is injustice to the composers of these stories. It doesn’t matter if they are true or not, what matters is the way they have dealt with intricate concepts and complex problems of philosophy, and the tremendous teachings they have left behind.

Same cannot be said about the narratives of other major world religions though, since their narratives are binding to their doctrines. And in such a case it is not irrelevant to argue about the authenticity of such a narrative, since logic may be compromised with such an approach. The mythology shall have a greater chance of survival in such religions which do not dogmatize their narratives, as the scientific age augments further. Religion is supposed to be a guide instead of a rule-book.

Hinduism has always been a great tool of worship for believers through the concept of personalized Gods and Goddesses but it is no doubt that it shall remain as great a tool for skeptics and rationals too. It shall provide discipline to skeptics (what religions mostly do), and provide both hope and discipline to believers. And to people like me, it shall continue to be a source of mysterious admiration. It is no doubt, that one can be religious without being spiritual.

Kumar Satyam July 11th 2018

[raat-jaaga-paakhi]

If You Like Baahubali, You Will Also Like These Indian Literary Works.

1. Valmiki Ramayana

This goes without saying, of course. Many before me have said it already (looking at Shubhra Di and others), and I am not adding anything new. What I can say, however, is that Baahubali is something of a fix-it universe for Ramayana, not in the sense of the plot (where Amarendra dies – damn it), but in the sense of the characterisation, not only of Amarendra/Rama, but many other characters. That being said, considering Baahubali as a fix-it for Ramayana may have a few unsettling (and ignorant) connotations too. Ones not as familiar with both the works as most people in the Baahubali fandom are, might see Baahu’s act of standing with his wife as leading to his downfall. This is not me blindly conjecturing; an acquaintance (not part of the ‘organised’ fandom) made this speculation, and I couldn’t talk them out of it even after a 20-minute (mostly one-sided, namely mine) debate.

To sum it up, it would be interesting for fans not yet familiar with Ramayana (which is quite unlikely) to go through it, if only for the sake of eyes-go-round moments where you notice the parallels and can’t help but compare between Rama and Amarendra (the fix-it characterisation that jumps out the most).

2. Adbhuta Ramayana 

I know, I know – but with the many versions floating around, I find it imperative to give credit and proper mention to each. Nothing is canon in my head, so this becomes even more important. Don’t read the entirety of it – just try to catch lines of where Sita laughs seeing Rama helpless on the battlefield and fights Sahastra Ravana himself and imagine Devasena in Sita’s place, Bhallaladeva in Ravana’s and...wait for it, Mahendra in Rama’s place. 

Seriously, whenever Mahendra was being beaten up by Bhalla, half of me was cheering for a crack AU where nice! Bhalla gives his errant, long-lost nephew a proper lesson on how to court women---‘Seriously, boy, you have my damned genes, work that charm to some use!’---in the absence of his soft-hearted father, while the other half of me wished Devasena would just snatch up a bow and an arrow from somewhere, pin Bhallaladeva to the pyre in Arjuna-style, and light him up... blast the damned Agni-prasthana.) *pants*

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. :D

3. Vyasa’s Mahabharata 

Do I have to say this? But oh, well, I said Indian literary works, so what is better than Mahabharata? As @mayavanavihariniharini aptly pointed out, we Bengalis grow up with the ‘Ja nei Bharate, ta nei Bharate’ proverb, translating to ‘That which isn’t in Bharata (Mahabharata), isn’t in Bharata (India)’. Any work – film, book, music, whatsoever – with India-centric themes will always, always, find Mahabharata to be its mother. And while (in my head) Baahubali is something of a Ramayana fix-it, it owes its spice, flavour, aroma and character (somewhat) archetypes to Mahabharata. I cannot say more; everything will pale in comparison to reading the actual text – to those who haven’t yet (again unlikely). (Also, there is the teeny-tiny fact that this has been said before.)

4. Silapaddikaram 

Repeating Shubhra Di’s rec, because this needs to be repeated. Want more of all that southern charisma and magnificence? Go for it! Ethics and doctrine are central to this story, as they are to Ramayana, Mahabharata and Baahubali itself, and you’ll find yourself in deep contemplation at times. Very thought-evoking on concepts such as relationships and governments like the monarchy. 

I would suggest Manimekalai for the lovers of sequels, but Silapaddikaram is more suited to my tastes and perception and is more relevant in the present context. Kannagi resonates strongly with Devasena, and oh, this is to fantastic, grievous courtroom scenes.

5. Rajatarangini 

I don’t know why exactly this came to my head. But there’s a lot of lineage game going on, and monarchy things, so... 

It can be monotonous, but Kalhana (the alleged writer) stresses on the exploits of a certain king Lalitaditya, who, I think, resonates a lot with the princely side of Amarendra Baahubali. There is that charismatic privilege, the gait of a king who is meant to be, the surrounding miracles... Hm. *shrugs* You may like it if you are into the fantastical side of Baahubali.

6. Devi Mahatmyam 

This list cannot be complete without the mention of this. While Devi Mahatmyam is more popular in Eastern India, especially Bengal, it is a major part of the all-India Shakti culture, and one of the first expressions of organised worship of the Female Supreme. Given Baahubali’s feminist undertones, and how most of us love it solely for Devasena and Sivagami, both of whom resonate as warrior goddesses, you will enjoy a read-through. I would suggest taking the over-reverent prayers (the least interesting parts, according to yours truly) with a pinch of salt – I personally imagine laughing at the eulogies with the Goddess to wave off the humdrum of it. Just imagine Devasena and her entirely unimpressed looks at the disguised Kattappa. *chokes*  

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Tagging @teambaahubali and @teammahishmati for Fandom Entry - Milana - Summertime Challenge.