#the noid is HERE to destroy your pizza

[patches-bitsandbobs]

started: 2/7/2018: Mr. Green’s yoyo is stolen, and he finds himself within the strange world of the Noid Void!

he'd lost interest in what was happening the moment he'd fallen into the Noid Void. a random assortment of sentient pizza toppings, scattered Domino pizza boxes, a vast emptiness that seemed to stretch on forever; really, it wasn't enough to captivate his attention, and he was still pretty salty about his recent loss to the Noid. to make things worse, he found out that his yoyo was missing off his person, and that was before being teleported to where ever the fuck he was now. and sure, he'd found his yoyo; pretty recently after he'd lost it, too, but god, at what cost?

he couldn’t help but think if the entire thing was a trap. with how much running he’s had to do in the span of a few short minutes, the idea seems more and more likely.

at first, he pinned all of the blame on the red bastard, who was continuing to make his life forevermore miserable. but when he paid attention to the details, he realised that that was giving Noid way too much credit. sure, he could be a mastermind at destroying pizza - dare he even say that he could destroy them in a creative manner - but to do all this? even he hadn't thought of such a demise - to trap someone in a world full of toppings and boxes, and worlds compromised souly for completing the Domino tower to somewhere. that would have been an even better plan to take over New York! just keep everyone stuck in a void of nothingness, forced to eat nothing but Dominos pizza!

so, after hanging around, he guessed that someone really had it out for him. as if he deserved such treatment. he'd never done anything wrong in his entire life, and the havoc of New York obviously didn't count. nope, he was innocent; a pure hearted soul. if anyone deserved this, it was the Noid, not him.

he ends up at the top of the completed Domino tower, after gruelling hours of going through each world, swinging and jumping and climbing to reach those sweet sweet boxes of pizza goodness. he's thrown into a black and blue world, and at that point, he is beyond pissed off. he swears that whoever's behind this fuckery is going to get a swift punch to the face. as if the Noid wrecking his plans and ruining his reputation wasn't enough humiliation; now he had to put up with this shit too. it was insulting! oh it made him positively seethe!

after scaling some static filled TV's and doing some more light swinging, he breaks a cracked TV with a die and falls into a large room that architecturally makes no sense. he see's a man on a separate platform hunched behind a desk, looking bored yet interested at the same time, and pure rage boils from his core.

'yo, where the fuck am I, crayon man?' the man's response is silence. it didn't help improve his mood. 'uh, can you talk over there, chump?'

'what's the matter?' the man finally said, his voice all weirdly pitched and robotic. 'did you stink of failure so much that you had to change suits, or did red become a boring colour to look pathetic in?' that especially bit at a nerve.

'who the fuck do you think you're talkin' to, guy? do I look like that red piece of shit, or are you jus' blind and stupid? as if I'd look any good in red anyway! so fuckin' insulting!' the blue haired man looked taken aback and, quite frankly, insulted at his snap.

'do you kiss your mother with that mouth?'

'my backstory wasn't developed enough for me to honestly answer that question.'

'I beg your pardon?'

'then beg.' the man looked irritated, and he shook his head.

'enough! are you the Noid, here to stop my plans, or not?'

'the fuck I ain't, chump!' he placed his hands on his hips, frowny eyes deepening in their spite. 'I might look like his twin, but that means fuck all. I ain't as dumb as him, for one, and I can ask animals and men alike to do my evil biddings for me. all he does is destroy pizzas- anyway fuck all'a that, are you the bitch that stole my yoyo?' obviously, from the mans bewildered expression and stunned replies, the hellhole he'd experienced hadn't been meant for him. fucking wonderful. 'are you tellin' me,' he began, as he stalked towards the edge of the platform, 'that this entire thing weren't even meant for me?'

'you look no different than him! and I'm sure that erasing the world with you in it would make little difference to the outcome! I am going to release the Vocal Noid whether you stop me or not!' the man stood up, hands flat on the desk, determination in his grimace, and Mr. Green had no clue as to what the fuck he was going on about. 'that Noid is already dead! his five minutes of fame are already over! it means little to me that I get rid of his counterpart too! in fact, it would do me more favours, with getting rid of your pesky existence!' 

'watch that mouth'a yours my dude, least you want to keep usin' it.'

'HA! and what are you going to do? as if you could jump this gap.' now he sounded impossibly smug, and it was in that one moment that Mr. Green deemed the man to death. 'I programmed this part of the world specifically for this one moment, so there is no way a dead mascot like you could ever make it without needlessly tumbling to your death over and over again-' he stopped running his mouth when he spotted two green ears in front of his desk, softly bobbing up and down. he peeked over the edge, and saw two beady, angry eyes and a malicious, open-mouthed grin greeting him, his arms swinging by his sides in an almost taunting manner. he hadn't even head his footsteps, nor his menacing "HEH" when he'd bridged the large gap. 

Mr. Green hopped up on the desk with ease, a mitten-gloved hand clenched tightly into Mike's vest faster than the Vocoloid could react, and suddenly he was face to uncomfortable face with the not-mascot. there was no way Mr. Green was allowing someone to continue living when they compared him to the Noid.

'told you I weren't that red bastard, shit for brains.' 

and now he's stuck in that world, because he killed Mike by punching him in the face so god damn hard, his metallic brain had exploded out the back of his head. he's pretty sure that his hand is broken, but it's not his yoyo-ing hand, so he's relatively fine with it. the world is now, by definition, saved, since Mike is dead and the Vocal Noid was never truly allowed to be released for the world to dematerialise, but the heavenly spire never returned to its place either. Mr. Green got out of ??? ??? and returned to the Noid Void, and upon finding out that nothing had changed in terms of his freedom, he figured, "fuck it, this is my new home now. even if it sucks ass". 

so he lives there with all the other toppings and a broken hand, and he supposes that things could be ultimately worse. it's a kinda happy ending I guess

the Noid, back in the safety of New York, happily walks home none the wiser, with his bundle of pizza boxes stacked under one arm, and his other hand bouncing his yoyo up and down.

//

this is stupid 3jsdhgsdf the original is still up on AO3, and it even had images?? I got no idea what they even were, but if I had to hazard a guess, it was probably this

[anautisticaquarius]

N O I D

T I M E

[miyanagateru]

okay this is my idea for the noid as a yugioh, following from my dream where the noid was a yugioh card. so in my dream he was a link-3 with the same arrows as summon sorceress and he had a trigger effect that burns the opponent for 10,000 damage. I am of course sticking withthis because I think its funny.

so heres how it would actually read on the card

2+ "hungry" monsters (note: this is my ideal world where there is a hungry burger archetype)

when this monster destroys a "hungry pizza" monster by battle, inflict 10,000 damage to your opponent at the end of the damage step. 

or something like that, I guess. I dunno abt attribute/type or how much atk would be good tho